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Latest European Bailout Plan Fizzles In Record Time

Tyler Durden's picture


UPDATE: The Bundesbank, as usual, ready to pur some 'reality-based' cold-water on the situation:


They came, they spoke, they spiked EURUSD; but now just over 90 minutes later the full force and furor of the 3 horse-men (and 1 woman) of the Euro-zone have tried and failed to get any market belief in their constant tirade of the same facts and denials. No matter what Monti, Hollande, and Rajoy say, Merkel's reply summarizes to: "No Free Lunch" and while markets exhibit their 'spasmodic' response function to any comment from Europe, sooner now (rather than later) we revert to pre-bullshit levels. As a reminder, the half-life of the Spanish Bailout was 7 hours as we noted here which must make this total reversion particularly worrying for the 'elite'.


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Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551005 Mugatu
Mugatu's picture

Its Silly Season - time for more rumors!

Add your own rumors below.  Here's mine:

EU to bail out all EU Banks with new EU wide Super Lotto.   

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551025 veyron
veyron's picture

It is rumored that Germany will adopt Ouzo as its primary beverage.  YAY Greece is saved!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:58 | 2551036 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

Greece already busy to export oil and cotton to China. QoQ +269% ;-)

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:58 | 2551037 magpie
magpie's picture

India will join the Eurozone ?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:35 | 2551251 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

nope, but they extended the Rupeezone to Iran

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:45 | 2551295 magpie
magpie's picture

Never too late to invite the Ukraine, Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 13:26 | 2551718 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

The ECB is going to put on a show!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:06 | 2551090 Cash-NonCash
Cash-NonCash's picture

Not a Rumor: 

BAC downgrade results in buyers who like uncertainty less than bad news. 

FullRetard OverDrive- Engage!!


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:46 | 2551304 smb12321
smb12321's picture

Monti warns that the solution must be done WITHIN ONE WEEK or the world will end, so I guess this is adios, amigo.   See ya in pasta heaven.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:15 | 2551126 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

<<--buying more silver now around $26.60

<<--waiting for lower prices on silver to buy more

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:40 | 2551270 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

You had me at buy more silver.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551017 strongband
strongband's picture

Full Retardando

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551020 InsurgoCasca
InsurgoCasca's picture


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551021 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

Feeding bullshit to bulls doesn't last too long, does it?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:05 | 2551064 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Europe catches the flu and MS catches pneumonia. So much for that rally on a "better than expected" downgrade, now trading at $14.16 (by the way, nice job filling the gap on from yesterday's close to the morning open).

Note: Has anyone seen an article anywhere mentioning that there is a strong alignment of investors between Moody's and WFC? Forbes even had two articles last night making the case that WFC is focused on domestic markets and was, therefore, exempt from the ratings review. Not a single mention of the bath tub man.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:41 | 2551281 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

FWIW, MS is not making waves with traders "selling on strength".

None of the banks are, for that matter. A bunch of blue chip names at the top. So if everyone is holding on a Friday, as the entire sector trades green, what does that tell you?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 17:14 | 2552510 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This deal that "they struck" hasn't been ratifyed.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:55 | 2551022 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Sell the news buy the dip.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:01 | 2551063 booboo
booboo's picture

Sell the news buy the SHEEP dip.

Fixed it.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:04 | 2551081 Conman
Conman's picture

Buy what dip? Guacomole? Mango salsa? Triple refried bean? Me likey the dippy.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:56 | 2551028 hnaparst
hnaparst's picture

They announced a bailout plan?  I missed it, damn.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:00 | 2551056 fattail
fattail's picture

Don't worry the trading day is young.  Wait til about 1285 .

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:03 | 2551077 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Might have to wait for the Euro summit next week.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:56 | 2551030 TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

ah, too micro. hit (-) about 8 times. oops.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:58 | 2551041 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

The American Dream

We miss you George

George Carlin ~ May 2, 1937 - June 22, 2008

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:30 | 2551213 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

He is one of a kind....such a good one.

I couldnt agree more and I feel around my friends and wife, family etc. that I am the only one who actually thinks and says..WTF? this is bullshit, no?

I feel like I am a in a concentration camp and/or a POW camp and feel like this is bullshit....this brainwash shit doesnt work with me.


Everyone just looks at me like I am crazy for thinking and saying the prison guards will shoot me down or something....


Cant fear death's the best thing going! It's an end!


Who really wants to play a game so rigged over and over and over ? (go to a'll find em).


enlightenment sucks! Ignorance is bliss!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 10:59 | 2551050 Negro Primero
Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:01 | 2551051 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

its simple.  Countries supplying no good paying middle class jobs, FAIL. Noone left to payoff debt, noone left to buy shit.  All these years the market cheered and rewarded companies for laying of employees, were just in actuality cheering the tighting of the rope.


SHow me a prosperous country, I'll show you a prosperous middleclass.  If plutocracy worked, the banana republics would be nirvanas, they are in reality shit holes.


ANyone telling you things will turn around, ask them- what industry or sector is prepared to create MILLIONS of well paying jobs with benefits?  Because thats what we need, about 20 million good paying jobs in the US alone.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:21 | 2551167 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Banana republics are shitholes, EXCEPT for the top < 1%, who live like fucking royalty.  Ask the top 1% in the US (or anywhere) if they give a flying fuck about how prosperous the country, or the world, as a whole is.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:00 | 2551055 JackT
JackT's picture

we only have a week left!!!!!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:01 | 2551057 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Retore the fucking rule of laws and contracts, allow for true price discovery and real consequences for BAD behavior (i.e. bankruptcy with the management, owners and shareholders paying back the creditors instead of the taxpayer).


Then all this bullshit fixes itself and compensation will return to thosse who's labor actually leads to the creation of real value (and not paper "products" of financial destruction).


Time to reap what you have sewn paper-pushers and political puppets.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:00 | 2551058 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Germany vs Greece today... Deutschland über Griechenland. Will it be Ja oder nein?


All stand for the anthem:

? Deuuuutschland, Deuuutschland üuuber aalllles, durr dur dum dee da beep... ?


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:32 | 2551227 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

So ironic, no?


I will be glued to the tube...1:30cst......


waiting for the double and football

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:41 | 2551262 green888
green888's picture

Germany is asked to "lend" Greece a player, to even things up

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:01 | 2551068 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

It seems so weird, that with all the different incantations and spells they've tried, they still haven't found the magic words that will resolve this whole "we've spent more than we made for decades, and don't seem to be able to hide it anymore" issue and get the economy moving.  Keep trying guys! (and girl!) I'm sure those magic words exist, so just keep tossing out the promises, stern commitments, and maybe if you could cook up some fake statistics to demonstrate that things are improving that might help too.  Fuckheads...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:05 | 2551086 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

its not just that, its that the boxed themselves in. If you dont control your own currency, you dont control shit.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:08 | 2551097 ootofthehoos
ootofthehoos's picture

Is that an endorsement of debasing your currency?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:11 | 2551111 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

No, for having a big navy and lots of drone aircraft.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:23 | 2551174 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

And granting selective access to SWIFT.

I can haz unintended consequences?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:50 | 2551319 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

its more about controlling your own country.  Why would you give someone else power over your currency?


as often quoted

  "Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes it's laws" — Mayer Amschel Bauer Rothschild 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:02 | 2551070 Backcreek
Backcreek's picture

Eurcopolypse now?

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:20 | 2551075 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's a good thing the sheep have dancing with the stars to distract them or they just might see how retarded their elected officials actually are.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:04 | 2551078 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Quick ECB, you need to print faster, give more and more and more bailout money to the PIIGS.

PIIGS,  Keep on sucking up the bailout money and asking for more. Germany can require it's people to retire at 100 to satisfy the club-med south.

PS, Germany, France wants your money too.

The EU hit an iceberg and the bailout isn't working. Bigger and biger pails needed to bail out the PIIGS.


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:07 | 2551091 crawldaddy
crawldaddy's picture

Printer turned up to 11.  All is well


Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:09 | 2551102 ghostzapper
ghostzapper's picture

How much gas in the tank does today's dead cat have? 


How many bailout rumors will surface over the weekend?  I've set the over/under at 1.5. 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:17 | 2551133 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

"HANGING ON IN QUIET DESPERATION IS THE ENGLISH WAY....the time is gone, the song is over, thought I had something more to say....."


No wonder at all the album stayed on the top 100 for years and years...such a classic although I like Animals a bit more!


Roger Waters just tells it like it refreshing.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:18 | 2551145 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

<<--Weidmann: TARGET 2 ist ausser Kontrolle

<<--Weidmann: wir wollen "mehr Europa"

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:20 | 2551161 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

The previous sugar high lasting 7 hours and now this sugar high lasting 90 minutes means the end of the road is approaching and approaching fast.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:25 | 2551186 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Why time the Op Twist extension to expire at the same time tax code changes? All very reassuring that there is a master plan and we DON'T HAVE A CLUE about what it is.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:27 | 2551196 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

No, it just means somebody might finally have to fucking DO something, instead of just mouthing soothing words and floating bullshit rumors.  But hey, who knows, maybe Europe will defy all precedent and stoically crash and burn, rather than pushing the fucking EASY button available to every gov't with access to a printing press.


Germany's fucked, as far as enforcing austerity, but I'm sure they saw it coming when they got into the whole Euro mess, and presumably they have some sort of exit strategy up their sleeve.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:28 | 2551202 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Bank holidays for everyone!

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:33 | 2551235 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Say is that a brick wall at the end of the road? We're going kind of fast if it is...

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:29 | 2551207 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Excuse me, but where is the ramp into the European close?  They are leaving it awfully late today.


Very sloppy.

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 11:34 | 2551218 falak pema
falak pema's picture

You guys only understand politics in terms of market perception and INSTANT currency or stock evaluation, not in the longer span which is a roller coaster, now without a compass; as this scares everybody shitless. If the market is a dodo it sends no coherent signals. Admitting that is like admitting fiat God is dead! Brain dead market! 

If the politics are incoherent each new shot just reveberates on the tarmac like a lost bullet. The kings cannot resuscitate the pope and church. No white fumes just black ones! 

Supposing you looked at it differently. Supposing your market perception was wrong; as the market is inefficient and manipulated and therefore incoherent and like a rudderless shiP, WHAT WOULD WE CONCLUDE?

The Pope will stay dead as the kings have taken over! And PM manipulation is the proof of the pudding. No safe havens from monetary manipulation! Acid test that markets are dead. 

Wowieeee....the Pope and church are dead. Our markets do not bow to any supply-demand catechism anymore, to any logic of a free trade paradigm. As money is no longer money, honest medium of exchange of real goods. Its funny money and has no value except in the electronic world! We have lost our Reserve compass for all intents and purposes. So even surrogate monies, like euros look relatively safe at core; even as europe burns in the peripherals.

Merkel is saying the same thing but she is also saying there will be banking union and sovereign to banking risk severance. Once that occurs we can see how the dodo markets react to the new picture imposed from above, like new gospel of laicity, temporal reasoning, not free market gospel but central policy market. 

 Market reaction, as it is in current decay, has been sterlised, by JPM type capers, even in PM safe haven places. Witness the PM situation.  That is the acid test. As those who run the markets, the WS/CIty cabal, are losing all credibility every day as their debts and off balance sheet shenanigans have destroyed investor confidence in their very word. They protect themselves not the investor. 

The Euro crisis is a real crisis for a faked reason, funny money logic gone mad. The current banking reshuffle in Eurozone may well allow the fake to come out from the rest of the baked cake. Its in everybody's interest.

How? We don't know that. But it won't be what you expect as seen through the logic of a broken "free" market that cannot generate any true feedback. 

This is the true message of the grand canyon divide looming up. The markets will officially be called dead. And although the Politicians and central bankers have no solutions they will weed out the power of the toxic banksta shells, all the while allowing the Oligarchy money to flow to safe havens, whose nature will have to be defined in the Grand Canyon conference, once Potus has been elected in november. Until then, Merkel will rule the roost and screw the Banksta cabal with her central bank logic. Lagarde is now on that same page.

Its politics that is now center stage not the market. Meanwhile the Brics, are like the natives getting restless, as first world continues to wobble in unstable limbo. This adds to market incoherence. Six months of extreme purgatory ahead. Watch out for the icebergs! 

It is a rant...don't lose any sleep on it! 

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 12:18 | 2551426 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

those are wonderful chart arrows for elitist and lunch-pail, alike

Fri, 06/22/2012 - 13:55 | 2551802 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

There was a little improvement in the Gyro (or Euro) today. But I love the defiance of the Bundesbank against the ECB!

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