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Latest Irrelevant European Stress Test Results Leaked

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In all the noise, Europe decided to rerun its stress test and come up with the following completely meaningless "latest and greatest" capital shortfalls:

  • Greece: €30 billion
  • Italy: €15.4 billion
  • Germany:  €13.1 billion
  • Spain: €26.2 billion
  • Portugal: €7 billion
  • France: €7.3 billion
  • Austria: €3.9 billion
  • Belgium: €6.3 billion

Etc. Why meaningless? Simple - one chart says it all...

 

Although we give them this much: the total shortfall sure is bigger than that discovered when Europe ran its first stress test, when the total shortfall was... $ (not €)4.5 billion!!!

 

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Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:49 | 1958671 homer8043
homer8043's picture

Partial list of EBA assumptions, no recessions anywhere, IMF rescue, leveraged EFSF, Fed rescue, fairies, unicorns.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:51 | 1958684 knight99
knight99's picture

Tyler,

you love the drexia chart. dont blame u

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:58 | 1958717 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

looks like they mispelled "trillion"

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:48 | 1958992 trav7777
trav7777's picture

isn't a billion like 100,000 millions in the UK system?  So maybe that's what they meant.

Because these "shortfalls" are a drop in the printing bucket for the Fed

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:21 | 1959215 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The decimal points are in the wrong place & they dropped a zero.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 17:02 | 1960551 Johnny B Good
Johnny B Good's picture

At least in Europe they TRY to put numbers on the shortcomings.

The US has given up on that a LONG time ago. Now they simply messure their shortcomings in TONS OF PAPER to keep the presses running 27/4. Last one switches the light off.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:13 | 1958794 Chaffinch
Chaffinch's picture

...and don't forget the Sanity Clause!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:50 | 1958672 eureka
eureka's picture

Blame it on EU/Europe. US is perfect, the best, etc etc

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:51 | 1958683 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Reads almost identical to Sigma X.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:10 | 1958777 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

coincidence?

all candidates for forced recapitalization or just plain vanilla nationalization

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:53 | 1958690 centerline
centerline's picture

In relative terms it sure makes Spain stand out.  That alone should be cause for concern.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:54 | 1958692 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

EBA - building trust and CONfidence. We can make insolvent look solvent in no time, even after bank failure.

P.S. Our models also don't allow negative numbers.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:06 | 1958750 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

"absolute"ly

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:54 | 1958693 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

I wonder what todays 3pm rumor will be.....

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:59 | 1958722 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

WTF is going on with silver?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:13 | 1958792 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's being manipulated. Take advantadge of it and buy some.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:21 | 1959214 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

Here's a Turd quote for the lazy people, dated December 7, 2011, 10:16pm.

"If gold crashes again over the next few days, don't say you weren't warned..."

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:31 | 1958882 LongBalls
LongBalls's picture

The banks to include the central banks of the world are sitting on so much toxic waste it's not funny. Our own Fed. is leveraged some 50:1. Do not pay attention to the price pull back in PM's, or the deflation noise. Deflation may come which will pull gold and silver down with it, but consider it like that of a tsunami; it pulls the water from shore out to sea right before the massive wave of destruction.

In other words, if deflation does it, the printing noise out of Washington and around the world will require ear plugs so they can bail themselves out. I would suggest not waiting to buy once the tsunami hit's either. Everyone and their kin folk will be rushing to buy the metals. Your local coin dealers will get wiped out quickly as they are keeping tight inventory because of the current PM market volatility. The price swings are having a negative impact on thier cash flow (it take's fiat to run the business and if they get caught with to much on hand in a down draft it stresses the business). Trusting a 3 week shipment from an online dealer might be risky. Once they have your cash who knows how long it might take to get your hands on the PM.

That being said, do not over leverage yourself either. GOLD, SILVER, OIL, CASH. AFTER your other provisions have been solidified.

 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:41 | 1958949 jekyll island
jekyll island's picture

Gold and Silver's price in dollars will fall during a deflationary event, but their purchasing power will increase.  Got to stop thinking about PM's priced in FRN$, cannot define something tangible with something that is imaginary. 

 

 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:52 | 1959009 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"do not over leverage yourself either"

hell, I'm even skeptical of any leverage...

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:10 | 1959109 trav7777
trav7777's picture

it's getting blowtorched.

Look; it's critical that you evaluate the evidence against the predictions of the ZH echo chamber silverbugz.  Silver is primarily an industrial metal now.  It's not good wealth preservation.  It's risky speculation.

Don't listen to pumpers on the internet, even ZH. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:22 | 1959223 narapoiddyslexia
narapoiddyslexia's picture

Its way more easily manipulated than gold.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 16:01 | 1960136 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

hunting call for hunt's brother's

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 20:24 | 1961279 ffart
ffart's picture

Majority of new silver demand is coming from investment. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 14:52 | 1959854 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Corzine miraculously remembers what he did with the money....

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:54 | 1958695 Yamaha
Yamaha's picture

Save the whales...........

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:55 | 1958699 sangell
sangell's picture

As Juncker said 'you have to lie'!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:55 | 1958702 fbrothers
fbrothers's picture

"Stress Test" is about the dumbest thing I have heard in the last fifty years. Where do they dream up this bullshit? They must read a lot of comic books.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:55 | 1958704 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

I feel the FRENCH DOWNGRADE By Moodys...from AAA to AA

 

FEEL DEVOTION¡

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:56 | 1958706 Capitalist10
Capitalist10's picture

a mere €108 billion shortfall (excluding any possibility of sovereign defaults, haircuts or bank runs)

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:42 | 1958958 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

€108 billion (Note: does not include off balance sheet games, derivatives and leverage, the inclusion of which would multiply this BS figure by many times)

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:56 | 1958707 homer8043
homer8043's picture

I'll give them this much, they've come up two orders of magnitude. One more and they are getting close.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 11:58 | 1958716 CreativeDestructor
CreativeDestructor's picture

It's this other planet that NASA discovered, Kaplan 2 (?), their IMF is bailing us out. Gaitner was overheard at EZ dinner.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:15 | 1958802 tim73
tim73's picture

You must be an American. It is Kepler 22b :) Don't get lost out there! :)

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:01 | 1958729 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Tons of angry letters must be pouring into General Jim's fax machine today.

"But Jim, you promised!!!......"

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:06 | 1958749 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

http://data.cnbc.com/quotes/nflx

Do you by chance live in a glass house?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:17 | 1958808 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

General Jim usually gets tons of letters on how his advise has secured peoples savings and how well they're doing

How's your portfolio Robby Robot... had an 800% increase since 2000 ?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:21 | 1958822 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Robo still enraged that he dumped his gold at $900....he will obviously never get over that terrible call, or his latest 'all-in with everything Ive got' at DOW 12,700.

Who are you trying to fool here Robo?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:01 | 1958730 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Odd that 4 months ago IMF put EU Bank capital needs at EUR 200B and Goldman put it at EUR 1T.

Two weeks ago Oliver Sarkozy put the number at around $3T.

I am not sure these stess tests would even qualify as 2 ply.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:08 | 1958758 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

If the Europeans only had the FDIC...they would have nothing to worry about.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:43 | 1959397 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

...another charmin comment fr lizzy!

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:05 | 1958746 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

I just have to laugh when I see those figures.

The EU has lost all credibility.
No one believes those numbers are correct.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:06 | 1958753 Flounder
Flounder's picture

Meanwhile back in Italy nothing is fckd as the 10 yr yield is back to 6.444...only 56bp off the lows today.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/quote?ticker=GBTPGR10:IND&n=y#

 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:08 | 1958759 Odin
Odin's picture

Can someone please explain to me why the Dow isn't down like 300 points right now?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:11 | 1958765 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

It is priced in USD. 

Euro is still being propped up. 

Fundamental analysis...dead. 

Technical analysis....dead. 

We are all currency traders, now.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:10 | 1958771 Flounder
Flounder's picture

Flash crashes aren't allowed anymore.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:11 | 1958786 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Yes it's the largest hedge fund in the world. It's called the Federal reserve.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:23 | 1958837 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Only thing with any relevance to all markets is now USD/EUR...yea it sucks, but thats what people will get until banksters start getting dragged out into the streets with ropes.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:47 | 1958984 xcehn
xcehn's picture

GSA PPT.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:09 | 1958767 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I thought the last stress test was supposed to reasure us everything is okay. You mean to tell me it's not? I'm feeling a bit stressed.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:10 | 1958772 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Don't worry...Timmay is 100% certain that this Euro crisis is solvable.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:37 | 1959328 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

 

 

Yes, the Fed will bail out the EU.

It trashes the dollar of course, maybe (finally) knocking it out of WRC status, wiping out trillions of wealth from Americans, but Timmah doesn't care, Ben doesn't care, keeping that sovereign debt ponzi scheme going, keeping the bond market going, keeping those banks going, keeping those bonues flowing, is all they care about.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:14 | 1958796 machineh
machineh's picture

Only €7 billion to bail out Portugal's entire banking sector?

Hell, Warren Buffett could write a check for that amount.

So what's the hold-up? Uncle Warren's holding out for a cheaper price, and a higher yield on his Portuguese convertible debentures?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:15 | 1958797 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Well, IMO the politicians justify their fatuous public lies as a means to use the media to immobilize public, commercial and financial actors. Its really just a control mechanism.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:21 | 1958818 xcehn
xcehn's picture

Politicians and government officials are the biggest liars possible.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:15 | 1958801 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

Don't you fools get it, it is American hedge funds that are to blame for the EU insolvency:

http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/german-politician-euro-downgrade-american-plot_611697.html

"But it was Rösler’s colleague Rainer Brüderle who had perhaps the most extreme reaction. Brüderle is the chair of the FDP group in the German Bundestag. “I am no fan of conspiracy theories,” Brüderle told the German business daily Handelsblatt, “But sometimes it is hard to avoid the impression that some American ratings agencies and fund managers are working against the euro zone.”"

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:29 | 1958862 xcehn
xcehn's picture

It is hard to avoid the impression that Eurocrats are acting strictly in the interests of the banksters, NOT Europeans.  It is hard to avoid the impression that Eurocrats are looking to milk the US (via the IMF) for every last drop before they print their own money.  And it is hard to avoid the impression that Eurocrats have been frantically preparing for the inevitable collapse of the Eurozone behind the scenes, while at the same time PRETENDING to commit to the Eurozone to BUY time and keep the flow of Bernank money flowing.  sigh

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:21 | 1958819 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Anybody who bought gold or silver the last two days probably wishes they had never been born.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:34 | 1958836 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

Anybody that bought stocks a decade ago and has a 0% nominal return probably wishes they had bought gold.

 

There's a LOT more to creating and maintaining wealth than the last 48 hours in your rear-view.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:26 | 1958860 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Robo will soon turn comicbook villain, Joker, maybe 2-Face style,...still seething with rage about his terrible 'The top is in on gold here at $900 Im selling and all you idiots should too'...along with his more recent disastrous call to 'go all in with all youve got here at DOW 12,700, take my word for it, we blast off to the moon from here'. Robo....seek help.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:11 | 1959125 trav7777
trav7777's picture

over $30 an ounce?  Damn, man, you must be playing with a REALLY small stack to sweat that kind of price move

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:22 | 1958825 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

Betcha we'll close in the green today and we'll get some bazooka tomorrow! Bazinga?! Anyone?! :)))

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:38 | 1958926 LarryDavis
LarryDavis's picture

I'm interested in Silver....does anyone have any insight?

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:38 | 1959345 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Don't buy paper (not even from people you trust--you don't know what kind of counterparty risk .  Cost average.  Don't sell for paper currency.

That is all.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:41 | 1958944 Mark123
Mark123's picture

It is like listening to a drug addict.  "I just need $20 to tide me over till my welfare check comes in...to buy food."  Give them $20 and they race off to buy another hit of crack.

 

The idiocy of all these "save the bank" schemes is insulting to anyone with even an ounce of intelligence.  It is 100000000% clear that ALL politicians and their corrupt party systems are there for the benefit of the bankers - NOT the people.  How long before people wake up and really do something????? 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 12:42 | 1958961 Iriestx
Iriestx's picture

You gotta think bigger and leverage it!  Give that crack dealer a $20 to get him to front you $100 in crack!  But boy oh boy, when that dealer comes looking for his extra $80 plus points.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:03 | 1959060 Wixard
Wixard's picture

My advice on silver would be to buy this dip once it settles out. 

 

I would feel comfortable buying around 30-31 right now and I would sell my clothes to go all in at 26 should it go the wrong way again. 

 

Your entry will never be perfect unless its luck, same goes for your exit. Just remember printing wont stop. 

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:03 | 1959061 hamlet_jones
hamlet_jones's picture

I can't read that damn chart. Asinine bullshit.

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:03 | 1959062 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Leading to nationalize banks.

ECB Does Quantitative Easing, Eurozone Bonds Drop, Franco/German Proposal In Jeopardy

http://confoundedinterest.wordpress.com

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 13:18 | 1959137 Georgesblog
Georgesblog's picture

It's only paper. It's a pity that the banks, not the populations, don't get stuck with it. A real stress test is how fast you can run, when you see a tornado coming your way. The paper tornado is going to circle the globe.

http://georgesblogforum.wordpress.com/2011/11/02/the-daily-climb-2/

Thu, 12/08/2011 - 15:28 | 1960009 Lucius Corneliu...
Lucius Cornelius Sulla's picture

Let's get FASB to fix it!

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