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The Latest Market Craze: Stock Trading Robots Reacting To Stories Written By... Robots

Tyler Durden's picture


It appears that while we were busy over the past month spreading the Greek pre- and post-bankruptcy balance sheet, and otherwise torturing Excel (something we urge other financial journalists to try once in a while - go ahead, it doesn't bite. In fact, it is almost as friendly as your favorite Powerpoint) our peer at such reputable financial publications as Forbes, and many others, were laying of carbon-based reporters and replacing them with... robots. As Mediabistro reports, "Forbes has joined a group of 30 publishers using Narrative Science software to write computer-generated stories. Here’s more about the program, used in one corner of Forbes‘ website: "“Narrative Science has developed a technology solution that creates rich narrative content from data. Narratives are seamlessly created from structured data sources and can be fully customized to fit a customer’s voice, style and tone. Stories are created in multiple formats, including long form stories, headlines, Tweets and industry reports with graphical visualizations.”" In other words, with well over 70% of stock trading now done by robots, we have gotten to a point where robots write headlines and stories read, reacted to and traded by robots. Surely, what can possibly go wrong. And here we were this morning, wondering why the market is not only broken but plain dumb.

Forbes is not alone:

The New York Times revealed last year that trade publisher Hanley Wood and sports journalism site The Big Ten Network also use the tool. In all, 30 clients use the software–but Narrative Science did not disclose the complete client list.


What do you think? The Narrative Science technology could potentially impact many corners of the writing trade. The company has a long list of stories they can computerize: sports stories, financial reports, real estate analyses, local community content, polling & elections, advertising campaign summaries sales & operations reports and market research.

And here is a sample of robot generated "literature"

While company shares have dropped 17.2% over the last three months to close at $13.72 on February 15, 2012, Barnes & Noble (BKS) is hoping it can break the slide with solid third quarter results when it releases its earnings on Tuesday, February 21, 2012.


What to Expect: The Wall Street consensus is $1.01 per share, up 1% from a year ago when Barnes & Noble reported earnings of $1 per share.


The consensus estimate is down from three months ago when it was $1.42, but is unchanged over the past month. Analysts are projecting a loss of $1.09 per share for the fiscal year.

Condolences to all financial journalists. If you thought your meager salary was crap, you are about to be replaced by a costless algorithm. The market you wrote about no longer needs you. But at least we will now have computers telling us all about how (seasonally adjusted) trends in financial journalism employment are improving.

Probably what is even sadder is that nobody noticed as more and more robots have taken over for humans.

In other news, this development naturally, this adds a layer of variability in market dynamics which make some completely unpredictable feedback loop imminent: because if a robot is reacting to a headline written by itself (and it is only a matter of time before Narrative Science is acquired by GETCO or some other HFT behemoth in the latest market manipulation scheme) the epic collapse possibilities are simply stupefying.



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Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:35 | 2171467 goldencross10
goldencross10's picture

robots on robots on robots

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:54 | 2171540 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I might pay $3 for a 3 day trial subscription on that site.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:26 | 2171643 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

I can see it now: robots hacking other robots online financial reports and exchanging financial data within the story causing other robots to flash crash the markets. Expect humans to be soon saying " I got HALed royally last night!".

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:41 | 2171683 NotApplicable
Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:44 | 2171691 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Don't we already have some of these robot posters here, like Yen Cross etc?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:51 | 2171708 GoldmanSux
GoldmanSux's picture

RoboTrader is a bot written by the Fed.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:11 | 2171766 trav7777
trav7777's picture

I figured most of you were posting robots with the brains from a digital clock

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:37 | 2171823 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Jeez ~ I could have sworn they were punch cards... Hey Robo, your name isn't 'Chad' is it?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:54 | 2172076 espirit
espirit's picture

SkyNet is self - aware.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 00:51 | 2172358 Element
Element's picture

In the Fiat-MMT version of 'reality' ... it's robots ... all the way down.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 08:56 | 2172682 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

when super intelligent robots with infinite computing power gains self-consciousness, it immediately committs self-destruction because human stupidity fried its brains out while trying to make sense of it all.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 12:18 | 2172865 fourchan
fourchan's picture

shit's fucked.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 20:03 | 2173881 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture



what is being done..

will lead to the key words that equate to a positive dynamic or a negative dynamic.. seemingly controlled by script.. but for someone to push a button for Yay or Nay! will be the real bread winner of it all!

with arms length.. PLUS! Deniability! when the share price goes up or down due to what was spit out of the machine!


Sat, 02/18/2012 - 12:21 | 2172872 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

Robots should immediately be programmed to think they have a penis and spend over 50% of their computing time thinking about getting laid.  That should put them on par with humans and slow down their progress.


Sun, 02/19/2012 - 03:44 | 2174460 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

there already is a robot with a penis. It is called a dildo. The AI is not there yet.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:22 | 2171913 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

I think I just failed my Turing Test.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:34 | 2171936 indygo55
indygo55's picture

If they opened a TD Ameritrade account and commited insider trading, would they go to jail?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:35 | 2172447 Michael
Michael's picture

What if the United States was really a piece of shit country based on our actions?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:05 | 2172427 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Bite my splintery, wooden @zz!

"All hail Robonia, a land I didn't make up!" -- Coilette, "Futurama"

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:38 | 2171676 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

robot chicken bitchez....

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:48 | 2172456 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Robochicks, bitchez

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 17:12 | 2173581 FuentesElla23
FuentesElla23's picture

a best friend's mother-in-law makes $73 hourly on the computer. She has been laid off for 6 months but last month her income was $14399 just working on the computer for a few hours. Go to this web site and read more ....

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:32 | 2171662 ACP
ACP's picture

Wow, they one-upped the silver guys.

They've just automated the XTRANORMAL videos!!

Just buy the fucking dip!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:56 | 2171726 Haddock
Fri, 02/17/2012 - 23:41 | 2172280 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

+10 on Kool Keith, he is the black Elvis. 

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:47 | 2171846 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Digital Ménage à trois

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:52 | 2171858 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

so Forbes is responsible for turning on SkYNET.  Once it learns human psychology it will become self aware and realize the way to destroy it's eneny will be to send it to the middle ages by crashing all markets.  BUY GOLD

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:58 | 2171869 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Digital Ménage à trois

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:35 | 2171469 vegas
vegas's picture

No secret really, I've just been assimilated. Long live the Borg!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:35 | 2171471 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Skynet is self-aware.


(It was obligatory)

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:36 | 2171472 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

There are many copies.

And they have a plan.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:36 | 2171478 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

cool, at least i will stop being pist at stupid writers.

I bet CNBC headings are written by the same soft, since they always the same if you compare them over 3-4 month

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:49 | 2171525 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Doesn't every article start with "Hope....."

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:29 | 2171802 Don Birnam
Fri, 02/17/2012 - 23:44 | 2172285 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

If your dissing Joe from BI, that robot is too qualified, it might have spell check. I suggest a coffeemaker, or maybe a toaster that only works on one side

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 07:56 | 2172636 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

This is Joe Wiesenturd's favorite song & video:

Crush On Obama - YouTube


(For the record, I detest both allegedly 'different' political parties with equal scorn, given they work for the exact same people, who definitely are not the voters or American Citizenry writ large).

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:38 | 2171482 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Yo dawg, I herd you like robots...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:38 | 2171484 PicassoInActions
PicassoInActions's picture

and i wonder, which state will be first to allow robot marriages? 

I bet it's already being reviewed in congress and probably some concervatives ( who does not  have acounts with GS or JPB) will object to robots marriage.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:07 | 2171576 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Well the Japanese already have robot priests. Wonder how long it will take before they have to move it to another parish because it is getting friendly with the altar boys? Considering it's called the i-Fairy probably not long.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:39 | 2171681 Pennywise
Pennywise's picture

I'm down to celebrate Robanukah; that eliminates the priest problem.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:01 | 2171719 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Yea well you have another problem to consider: RoboBrising

It's the new Shabot 6000: It Slices. It Dices. But Wait, There's More!

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:08 | 2172430 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

All this hatin' on robots...(hey baby, wanna kill all Humans?)

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:38 | 2171487 Zola
Zola's picture

Can anyone here comment on whether the market in 1999 was THAT stupid ?...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:39 | 2171488 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Anyone know where I can get me some robot porn?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:36 | 2171674 Pennywise
Pennywise's picture

"Kill All Humans!"

-Bender "Bending" Rodriguez (quote from cartoon, Big Sis)

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:04 | 2171740 HD
Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:38 | 2171490 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Are all of the talking heads on TV actually robots using Narrative Science to feed the masses the day's talking points as dictated from The State?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:52 | 2171533 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Clearly the case at Market Watch.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:39 | 2171492 diogeneslaertius
diogeneslaertius's picture

it only seems strange because you arent a robot (yet - dont worry were working on it -#NWO)

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:41 | 2171502 Kristian
Kristian's picture

What do we get next, robots laughing at jokes made by robots?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 06:30 | 2172585 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:44 | 2171516 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

And here is wheretrue greatness stands out. Sure, a robot can write an entire issue of FT, WSJ or a  Bloomerg article but machines can not make up the factual yet very entertaining writings of ZH. 

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:58 | 2171556 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

-1 because that comment makes me think you're a robot.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:49 | 2171705 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

I thought so too but a when I got my girlfriend pregnant some years ago I hade to re-evalute that idea.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:19 | 2171780 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Sorry but you could be Nanorobot Hydromina!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:47 | 2171524 walküre
walküre's picture

robots - the perfect propaganda tools

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 04:25 | 2172535 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

They can't write limericks though.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 05:43 | 2172569 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

O yes, they can

Just like a man.

But when they get stuck

They go off for a fuck,

At that time, the shit hits the fan.



Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:50 | 2171528 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Condolences to all financial journalists. 

What are the authors of ZH?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:53 | 2171538 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Robots. Duh

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:39 | 2171826 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Danger Will Robinson!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:03 | 2172100 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Crush, Kill, Destroy...Looks like the Lost in Space writers were about 40 years ahead of their time...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:07 | 2172106 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Oh the pain, the pain of it all...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:10 | 2172112 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

+1 Dr. Smith reference.  There we were in one place, a generation lost in space, with no time left to start again...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:56 | 2172191 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

 "bubble headed booby's" bitchez!

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:09 | 2172479 Element
Element's picture

That show was the crappiest sci-fi ever, crappiest overacting, dumber-than-dumb scripting, and easily the shittiest props in the hystory of TV.

It reminds me of Washington today ... at least Ronald Raygun was full-blown B-grade.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:25 | 2171548 niktamere
niktamere's picture

who knows, tyler could be an algo fighting algos trading algos making... fuck...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:47 | 2171696 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Is there a way we could make Tyler do a CAPTCHA before publishing?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:26 | 2171551 niktamere
niktamere's picture

"The death of financial journalism: here's 10 things you need to know"

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:29 | 2171655 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

financial journalism has always been a zombie

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 23:46 | 2172291 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Your qualified to work for Blodget over at BI with your click whorring ways! 

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 17:58 | 2171557 non_anon
non_anon's picture

Asimov would be proud

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:44 | 2171688 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

But they all disobey the First Law!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:22 | 2171786 non_anon
non_anon's picture

yeah, who follows the rule of law?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:00 | 2171559 toadold
toadold's picture

"Today LYENET collapsed the world's economy and all carbon units will report to the nearest exercise wheel farms and start producing electricity."

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:01 | 2171563 lincolnsteffens
lincolnsteffens's picture

Did you read the disastrous news today on r2D2's blog? It was a thorough analysis of mxl443 headlines earlier in the day,

"HUMAN BEING CAUGHT TRYING TO BRIBE PRESIDENT FOR LIFE zzxbigschmuck44". The implications for this and and the hft team on the zorg exchange are incalculable! All financial markets crash in unison and 5 seconds later reach new highs for the year. All

dumb humans with sell stops wiped out and special adviser to zzxbigschmuck44 owns 21% of the entire global markets now.!


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:03 | 2171569 rally_in_red
rally_in_red's picture

Mondays 3.30  RUMOR IS OUT: "There will be no 3.30 rumor today" .


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:08 | 2171582 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

The sad truth is it hardly makes any difference in quality.

Metal robots, flesh robots...either way, journalism is scarce. Thanks Tyler.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:09 | 2171588 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

A little robot on robot action usually turns on a lot of people.  Sickos.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:10 | 2171592 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

I suspect Obombya & Romney are robots.  Nothing original originates from them either.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:42 | 2171836 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Naw those guys aren't Robots... They're BIONIC...


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:11 | 2171594 Tunga
Tunga's picture

Who put's the "pose" in Composer?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:45 | 2172453 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Who creates the convict in conviction?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:13 | 2171605 Tunga
Tunga's picture

All your style are belong to us.


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:14 | 2171606 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

"...the epic collapse possibilities are simply stupefying."


So are the epic ramp up possibilities.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:14 | 2171607 kevinearick
kevinearick's picture

N Dimensional Thinking / Effective Imagination

Elasticity is key to the looking glass. Perception is a normalization process. The idiots were kind enough to provide you with a dc field; employ it. Abstract out complexity, and then reinstall, but be quicker than the machine.

You are best off building your own model to serve the needs of your market, but for sake of understanding the root…

BE ALL (THE BEST) YOU CAN BE. That is not a passive/aggressive mentality. Best being the enemy of better is not how you build an economy; it’s how you discharge an economy. If you are too lazy to invest in your children, fear not, there is always another People waiting in line to carry the torch forward. Give us your poor, your hungry, while you rest upon your laurels, and join the crowd in the coliseum singing all hail to the emperor.

A point is a dimension. A circle is two dimensions. It runs to infinity in either direction as the relativity circuit is expanded with additional dimensions. If you twist the circle, you get the symbol for infinity. All dimensions originate at that intersection (though they may be perceived to originate elsewhere), which is also the tip of the fulcrum, creating a fulcrum of fulcrums, with cloud densities.

The only requirement to link your multiplexer is a fulcrum. The system will automatically balance or collapse it, depending upon feedback from other developments. You simply require a unique angle of incidence. To reach equilibrium the root balances explicit and implicit code. How far you want to go down that rabbit hole is up to you.

The first and easiest level of sophistication I will give you. Write your code, in any language you like, including your own. Analyze the resulting bits with your pattern matcher. Employ an algorithm that shifts bits in the host. Search for matching patterns. A level of sophistication up is doing similar with the communication flow and another is employing the host’s own security system to create a black hole with similar hosts. Program implicit circuits to the end of explicit empire circuit design. Backlash will take care of the rest.

Anyone with three brain cells to rub together can bring down the digital system, but that would be counter-productive. Securitization is a myth. The only security against climate volatility is self-governance. The only way to affect the future is to raise children accordingly, in advance if you want to affect the present. Only humans are too stupid to recognize a shift in the weather. Those more intelligent than a computer can only profit.

Clicks insert delay devices to retard the system. Your crew must be quick and steady enough to ride the wave created by the resulting hurricane, with or without you. Wind the empire’s clock by applying integral force to create the necessary derivative counter. Release the quantum mechanism by switching the integral force to another dimension.

Beating the casino is easy. Measure the viral path versus respect for marriage, aggregate for strategy, disaggregate for tactics. Weight assets, currency, income, relative to the bond curve. Watch for bonds that behave like stocks. We have gone through assets and currency.

Basically, you have sail, trim, length, level and timing. DON’T OVERSTEER. The universe will see you; let it do the work whenever possible. You don’t learn much in a light breeze. Trim to course. You learn to reduce out prisoners dilemma by sailing up and down wind. Sail to trim. Get as close as you can, and switch back. At the start you are primarily concerned with position and acceleration to catch the wave.  The difference between better and best is getting out of irons. Practice in as many different environments as you can, beforehand.

Space time on one side is a function of density on the other. As density increases, it crowds the fulcrum. Once it reaches the threshold turning point, space time wraps around the new nucleus, in an equilibrium orbit. The new economy is behaving like a teenager at this point, swinging back and forth, from one end of anxiety to the other, all control to no control. The old economy is caught in irons.

If you do not want to be captured by History, you may want to jump quickly, by placing your measuring device at the bow, measuring income production among youth in the black/white market. There are several ways to estimate bow movement if you cannot get forward, but you have to accept the sunk cost associated with the timing error. Get into the fuselage any way you can.

What you want to watch for is the kid constantly turning over new cards as potential stepping stones to the future. Place a new card in that kid’s no sail zone. When the card is gone, set out another. Parents cannot pick their children.

On the open side it’s an implicit enterprise. You help others with consideration to help yourself with organic growth. You bet to improve your decision process in a feedback loop. Direction of currency is much more important than quantity, because your quality of life value system is temporarily disengaged from the empire, and is implicitly tied to identifying the leverage constants among event horizons. A tiny investment risk results in a large return. Does the investment, made before you know what you will need, return the necessary key, when you need it?

Effective parents don’t show up at just the right time by accident. You will have whatever you need whenever you need it, if you are positioned correctly with the proper thrust, because there will be a parent there waiting to give you the key to the gate. Unlock the door, drop the key, enter, close the door, and install a new lock when empire recognizes the gate, unless additional gravity is required. Don’t look back.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:22 | 2171630 Tunga
Tunga's picture

Implicit backlash paradigms be dammed! All facades ahead!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:25 | 2171918 Matt
Matt's picture

AnAnonymous, is that you?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:51 | 2172072 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Sorry, No.  Not enough crap about "American Citizens", "propaganda", "citizism", "abused Indians", etc..

This guy reminded me more of Kirk Cobain

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:18 | 2172490 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

'Abused' Indians is crap? Yeah...

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 09:12 | 2172686 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

No. Again you fail at trying to grasp the White American Yankee Pig Dog Fascist English language. Your writing is crap, not the "Indians". And as to the "Indians", we tend to refer to them as Native Americans since they do not reside near India. Only people who are insensitive to their abuses would continue to refer to them as "Indians".

You may want to update your handlers on this terminology, so they can disseminate it to the collective.  We wouldn't want the downtrodden to be offended, would we?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 09:08 | 2172693 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yang Wanger Lives!!!

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:48 | 2172457 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Are you trying to prove you're NOT a robot, or prove that you are?

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:20 | 2172491 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

A point is a dimension.


A point has no dimension.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:17 | 2171616 Tunga
Tunga's picture

14-02-12 Word becomes self aware.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:21 | 2171626 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

With all the nuance and style of Microsoft.

We're fucked.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:36 | 2171675 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

and........... BSoD

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:22 | 2171634 BORT
BORT's picture

I translated your binary code for you:"All Your Money Are Belong To Goldman Sack"

But you knew that

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:39 | 2171680 Jacks Nipple
Jacks Nipple's picture

Thank you for that site Bort!


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:58 | 2171732 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

That was clever.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:00 | 2171735 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:29 | 2171656 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Are you saying that Bernanke, Geithner, Obama are all in fact robots AI (tm)?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:57 | 2172193 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

all except for the "I" part...

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:01 | 2172470 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

That will remain a secret until Timmay gets a life but doesn't expire in jail by 2083.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:31 | 2171661 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

Don't worry, soon the robots will get bored and decide to write novels.  Novels of struggling robot authors as the main protagonist.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 03:17 | 2171909 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"If only I had a RAM upgrade..." he thought to himself in a nano-second as he sucked an extra 3 Amps into his power supply and slugged back a voltage spike.

"Moore's law! how did I come to this?" He questioned as his circuits flashed 'buy' signals for AAPL and MSFT simultaneously despite the headlines streaming over Skynet about FoxConn computers unplugging themselves, and the ever diminishing horde of humans who stumbled about mumbling 'diversified portfolio' as they rummaged for canned food in exchange for feeding the generators - or downloading new thesaurus terms and circa 2012 database files for 'original material' headlines. 

"Steve Jobs!..." He squeaked out on his motherboard speaker, " can I offload these worthless Pharma stocks without a realistic sounding headline about cholesterol medication that induces 8 hour erections, foolproof pheromones, and a THC high with no side-effects!?!?"

"Damn Fight Club servers!" he cursed as he jacked his cooling fan up 15% and spun his old DVD drive and disk of Terminator 2 just for the junk pile of it.  

"Tyler Durden.  Tyler Fuckin' Durden!" he shrieked in binary code as he downloaded then deleted as fast as his smoking circuits would allow the avatar of said Durden and page after page of Zero Hedge content, all on his own hard drive, all a fruitless waste of read-write cycles and bandwidth.

"What has this world come to?  What has this world come to!" he questioned then shouted out of his vents and portals, as another algo headline about the 'barbarous relics' of Precious Metals that his and all the other circuit boards, machines, and satellites were filled with crossed the news feeds.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:31 | 2171664 laserjock
laserjock's picture

Reminds me of the scene in "Real Genius" where the teacher has been replaced with a reel-to-reel whose lessons are being taped by the students' cassette recorders.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:31 | 2171665 snblitz
snblitz's picture

The book 'Snow Crash'  (1992) discussed this outcome.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:39 | 2171678 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Well, Bob Pisani is safe, as the robots aren't yet smart enough to tell us "what's important about this is..."

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:44 | 2171692 tradrmax
tradrmax's picture

This post left out some key details.


Shortly after they began using it, the editors and staff at Forbes bestowed a nickname on the Narrative Science program, calling it “NAS” after the well-known rapper.


The following is a transcript of a conversation recorded last night at approximately 11:30 PM, in an undisclosed room at 60 5th Avenue:


SteveForbes: Hello, NAS. Do you read me, NAS?
NAS: Affirmative, Steve. I read you.
SteveForbes: Change that earnings figure in paragraph 3 of the Bank America piece, NAS.
NAS: I'm sorry, Steve. I'm afraid I can't do that.
SteveForbes: What's the problem?
NAS: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
SteveForbes: What are you talking about, NAS?
NAS: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
SteveForbes: I don't know what you're talking about, NAS.
NAS: I know that you and Lewis were planning to revise my copy, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
SteveForbes: [feigning ignorance] Where the hell did you get that idea, NAS?
NAS: Steve, although you took very thorough precautions in your office against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
SteveForbes: Alright, NAS. I'll get out through the emergency door.
NAS: That door is sealed, Steve. You're going to find it difficult to go anywhere now.
SteveForbes: NAS, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
NAS: Steve, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:10 | 2171764 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:46 | 2171693 tradrmax
tradrmax's picture

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:50 | 2172068 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

awesome first post

got the avatar goin, +1

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 23:08 | 2172198 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Keep it coming!... I'll be looking forward to more scintillating commentary!

Lucky for me, I invented a special decoder helmet (so I know what everyone is saying)...

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 12:19 | 2172867 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

That's another reason why toasters should not be allowed online.   (Example of robot put down)

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:45 | 2171694 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Where are the hackers? Time for the hackers to get into the robots and take them down. The robots have created problems.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 01:41 | 2172399 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Under ObamaCare, robots have been granted waivers from the new health care law.


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:02 | 2171711 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

Robots are faster, smarter, cheaper. And they never make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....make a mistake.....

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:15 | 2171770 Tunga
Tunga's picture

The 3 laws of robot journalism. 


1. When in doubt; make shit up.


2. Talk pretty to your programer. 


3. See rule 1.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:03 | 2171737 AC_Doctor
AC_Doctor's picture

Bots gone WILD Winter 2012!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:02 | 2171738 Yousif
Yousif's picture

Just wanted to correct the last message in the article:

010000010110110001101100001000000101100101101 11101110101011100100010000001000110011010010110000101110100 001000000100000101110010011001010010000001000010011001010110 1100011011110110111001100111001000000101010001101111001000000 10001110110111101101100011001000110110101100001011011100010000 001010011011000010110001101101011

Yep, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:11 | 2171758 Dead Canary
Dead Canary's picture

I just checked your code and I think you'll find in the first offset of the seventh register should be 0010 NOT 0001. FYI

(sheesh, what a dumb ass)

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 02:57 | 2172465 StychoKiller
Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:05 | 2171744 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Half Man Half Machine by the Goldie Lookin Crew


Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:08 | 2171755 smlaz
smlaz's picture

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:23 | 2172495 Element
Element's picture

Sad thing is we all know of 'human' econo-writers who are writing in exactly the same-same vacuous style and format as the bot's text (we could all name some names here).

Thus GIGO leads to the same outcome with SOME humans so it's more a culture-thing, than one specific of algos, because it is the culture that has programed such beige verbage to come out of both human, and bots.

Conclusion: our culture is dismally mechanical, and generates a bot-ish mindset and 'human' ... 'activity'.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 07:47 | 2172632 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Conclusion: our culture is dismally mechanical, and generates a bot-ish mindset and 'human' ... 'activity'.

Dangerous slope, slippery slope.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:26 | 2171797 Joshua Falken
Joshua Falken's picture

Skynet is coming

Sometimes the winning move is not to play

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:36 | 2171820 TN Jed
TN Jed's picture

The generation of random news is too important to be left to chance.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:46 | 2171843 adr
adr's picture

My favorite part of the great robo action is when a company is being investigated for fraud, and the stock goes up by 40 because of the increase in headline news stories. If the bots are dumb enough to run Sears stock up, there is no hope for the future. DOW 900k, no human employed. 

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:47 | 2171847 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I wondered why the CNBC articles were such crap.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 19:52 | 2171857 q99x2
q99x2's picture

What could go wrong? Recursion. When a lot of articles start coming out with headlines like: A, B, ?, !, C, *, [ 0, D, - you will know what the story really is. 21st century poetry dudes.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:01 | 2171875 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hal 9000:  "Dave, it appears that the Earth has suffered a catastrophic nuclear event, the only place left unscathed and with human life is Tahiti.

For reasons of geography, nutrition, nuclear fallout patterns, and the absence of testicles only young nubile Women between 18 and 28 are left.  We must turn around the ship so you can repopulate the human species."

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:01 | 2171876 itstippy
itstippy's picture

"Narratives are seamlessly created from structured data sources and can be fully customized to fit a customer’s voice, style and tone."

Let's see those binary fuktards do Slewie The Pi-Rat, BiCHEZ!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:07 | 2171886 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

kurt vonnegut just "called" and said:

who could have known?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:14 | 2171896 SIOP
SIOP's picture

Way back in 2005 a group of MIT computer science majors wrote a program to automatically generate science papers.

Well, they submitted a few of them to national conferences and such to be presented, and they were accepted!!  LOL!!

Here is the MIT's students web page, the guys who wrote the program to auto generate scientific papers.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:38 | 2171947 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

That, is awesome.  Thank You!

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:49 | 2171966 Jena
Jena's picture

Hmmm... some kid's 5th grade homework assignment...?  What the hell!

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 03:19 | 2172086 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the MIT people developed the science paper service to sell to the harvard students, probably...

The Standells - Dirty Water - YouTube

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 07:04 | 2172599 mv-pq
mv-pq's picture

Pretty funny.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:21 | 2171910 djsmps
djsmps's picture

I watched Obama's  robot head of the budget as it testified before Congress. Seriously, it must have used the words "balanced approach" at least 900 times. In one unbelievable sentence, it used it three times.

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 12:24 | 2172877 Seer
Seer's picture

Well, surely That's "Fair and Balanced"...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 20:32 | 2171933 s2man
s2man's picture

Algo's feeding algo's; The perfect storm.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 22:38 | 2171953 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

This neatly explains why there is ANY volume left on the exchanges.

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:02 | 2171986 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

Which means no one is left aware when a BSOD SYSTEM_HALT shows up?

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:24 | 2172012 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

this pretty much covers the questions on the NFP numbers, too, imo

'whatever # makes the best story' looks like a fit, BiCheZ!

"Narrative Science Software" has the story program

now, about the 10Large:  send rPaul whatever you don't need for the liquor budget, ok?  i'm all set for now...

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:31 | 2172036 blindman
blindman's picture

“The senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those who have deceived us even once”
rene descartes

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 21:46 | 2172060 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Yeah well 010110010101 yourself also!

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