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Living Under The Skies Of Assgard

Tyler Durden's picture


From Mark Grant, author of Out of the Box

Living Under The Skies Of Assgard

It is cold this morning, maybe 40 degrees, the air is as pristine as you might imagine just south of the Arctic Circle and free of all pollutants. The gentle sounds of the sea lapping against the rocky outbreaks is all that can be heard and the wonder of my vision across this broad seascape is a treasure that will be forever captured in my mind to remember with great fondness in the days ahead. There is a sense of calm out here, a peacefulness given as a gift by the old gods one might suspect and an interesting Icelandic perch from which to ponder the tremors that shake Europe. Sitting out here one is prone to take the long view and find some amusement with the follies of man. The machinations of Greece and Spain, from this Nordic perspective, seems like some ant farm with the species running this way and that, time for no one, reasons for the scurrying varying but incomprehensible and the purpose of it all just one more tunnel into the dirt which provides neither respite or salvation. Not that either really existed for any period of time I suppose but it is easy to see from here why those resident upon Mt. Olympus or Asgard must have been amused with the antics of those that lived down below.

Perhaps it is the cry of the Valkyries that can now be heard and the judgment under Yggdrasil is that Ragnarok has begun; the twilight of the gods. The question then is not if the markets are oversold, the merriment of the moment in the Press this morning, but if Bifröst will break and if Heimdall will blow his mighty horn, Gjöll, and if the Æsir and Einherjar will ride out to battle. The pronouncements have been rendered this morning from the demi-gods as the Spanish banks were downgraded three notches by Moodys and Greece cut to a level just above default by Fitch. It is the bastion of history you know, the normalcy of disbelief that the Empire will never end its existence or perhaps the hope and prayers of so many in Brussels and Berlin that would lose their jobs and their wages so that the Empire must be protected at all costs so as to protect themselves. The “at all costs” is the turn of the screw however as there is not enough free capital in Europe to prevent some sort of collapse. This is different, you may note, from “absolute capital” which is available should Germany, France and the Netherlands decide to allow their bond yields to match those of Portugal or Spain and allow their standard of living to match that in Athens and Madrid. If it is to be “one for all and all for one” then I believe Europe can get on with it but if it is to be each country for themselves and punishment for those that do not conform to the Germanic mandates then the rent sown by self-preservation will assuredly also pull the European Union past the strength of the Federalist glue and the destruction of the construct will begin; perhaps has begun.

As the airwaves are chock full of Facebook and anything/everything to discuss some other subject besides Greece and Spain the focus of the moment changes nothing nor does the timeline that has been stretched for these two countries to end up in demise reverse the final outcome. The only way that Greece could pay its bill would be to become a ward of Germany and effectually absorbed much like East Germany in times past. It may be “Auchtung” at the Parthenon or some forgiveness of debt on a massive scale that I do not think would be allowed by the politics in Berlin but short of that; what is impossible remains impossible regardless of the rants of those seeking divine intervention. In Spain, there is not enough money, no fancy words or phrases are needed, because the liabilities of the Regions and of the Spanish banks will require more capital than is resident in Spain. Markets may bounce, talk of some additional LTRO is being bandied about but the cost to Europe, if something more is done, will only diminish what is in the counting house which is scant with much beyond promises and guarantees and little in the way of actual money on the barrelhead. Contingent assets and contingent liabilities are lovely when not counted but real money when needed is an Asgardian of a different color.

We may already be in Fimbulvetr, the winter of winters, and it is a cold wind that whips across the European plains blown in from the Southern climes high up into the Alps and then down into the cities of man. In Norse mythology this was a three year event and the creaking of the ice can be distinctly heard if only you listen. Many will not listen, this one can predict, and the clothes that will be worn will not protect the unhearing from the freeze which will surely come. But you and me, we have gazed long for the riders of the North and seeing them; we are prepared.

My commentary today is dedicated to John Brynjolfsson and Soren Elbech. While separated by a Continent they remain guardians of the Nordic Tradition, wise counselors of Odin and keepers of the Scandinavian Flame.

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Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:44 | 2439108 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

If I was a Viking, I would love to give Benanke a good skull fucking.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:45 | 2439115 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Assgard????????  That's what my wife does every night...................

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:50 | 2439134 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

She skull fucks Ben....you poor bastard.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:51 | 2439138 strannick
strannick's picture

Ragnarok the Reckoning surely awaits as Thor and Hemidal raise golden swords to Obama the Midgard serpent and Jamie Dimon Fenris wolf

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:15 | 2439225 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


The Almighty Johnsons is a New Zealand fantasy comedy/drama television series, which was created by James Griffin and Rachel Lang and is produced by South Pacific Pictures. It began airing its first series of ten episodes[1] in New Zealand on 7 February 2011.


The show follows a student named Axl Johnson, who on his 21st birthday discovers his family members are reincarnated Norse gods. The problem is, they don't have full control of their powers and it is up to Axl (the reincarnation of Odin) to restore them and ensure the family's survival by finding the reincarnation of Odin's wife, Frigg. Matters are complicated by the presence of three Norse goddesses who are trying to find Frigg before the Johnsons do to prevent the restoration of the gods' powers, as well as an antagonistic reincarnation of Norse god Loki, and the appearance of a Maori deity pantheon toward the end of Season Two.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 11:41 | 2440149 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

fer crissakes, will somebody just post "The immigrant Song" and get it over with....


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:45 | 2439114 FranSix
FranSix's picture

Assguard.  Has to be something like Lanacane, no?

Secondly, JP Morgan made interest rate bets which went south.  So will they be bailed out for making bad bets that U.S. interest rates will rise, meaning that they bet AGAINST the U.S. and will be bailed out when their trades go wrong?

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:48 | 2439125 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i know this is ot...but have you guys heard facebook is having an ipo?

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:15 | 2439223 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Assguard.......... maybe its protection for the Muppets?

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:45 | 2439116 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Can the US borrow Thor for a couple of days.  Have him start in NYC and then head south.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:46 | 2439118 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

This will go right over the head of most.  Nice work.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:53 | 2439147 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

I admit, I ended up reading the entire text because of your comment and was instantly reminded of Eric the Viking. Now I'm off to youtube to search for the "Now we'll kill the children anyway" clip. Cheers!

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:56 | 2439156 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Yes, because the imagery of winter in an economic context is so abstract that us dum fuks don't get it? You iz so smart, the rest of us stoopid. -1

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:47 | 2439120 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Sounds to me like someone in the Arctic Circle has been sniffing whale blubber ...

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:50 | 2439136 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Zing! +1 for precision.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:09 | 2439202 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Back to the reality of central planning delusions now..

Asgaard meet Cockaigne, where no ass needs to be guarded.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:21 | 2439245 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture



Cockaigne Ski Area is a family ski area located in western New York’s snow belt. Located 18 miles from Lake Erie with a base elevation 1100 feet higher than the lake, Cockaigne receives an average 275 inches of snowfall. Cockaigne combination of slopes (300 feet wide) and New England style trails (15 feet wide) combined with longest run of 3600 feet provide abundant snow time for the whole family.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:34 | 2439301 Manthong
Manthong's picture

If you click on Cockaigne in my post you get this:


I don’t’ know if they had skiing at that one.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:49 | 2439388 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


I know. Yours explained the source of the ski resorts name.

Thank you

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:58 | 2439161 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

People who mock archetypal mythology seem driven to learn the lessons given in these oral histories the hard way.

Good luck on your journey.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:42 | 2439342 phalfa5
phalfa5's picture

think you are supposed smoke it


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:48 | 2439123 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:48 | 2439126 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Why is no one else taking the Icelandic approach to this debt problem. Screw the banks and put them on trial. Folks think the vikings are simple. I disagree, they seem to be the only nation that sees the solution to the problem.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 14:31 | 2441016 hbjork1
hbjork1's picture


A lifetime of experience with both successfull and failing organizations says, "Chronic problems in previously successful organizations almost always start at the top."  The result will be either total disappearance or reorganization with new upper management,  Products can become obselete but competent manage will look in other directions.

With banks, its time for a firewall between the banking function and the securitization as a funding source.  Read that as different managements.


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:48 | 2439128 Bazinga
Bazinga's picture

Our friends in Iceland may enjoy this thread...

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:49 | 2439129 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Great stuff Mark. One thing I can't figure out is whether the use of Norse mythology, quotes taken from Disney cartoons, and a general lack of in-depth analysis, rises from your complete disengagement from reality or is it just a really retarded attempt at psy-ops?

Anyway, keep the fantasy alive.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:55 | 2439151 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Tough, but fair.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:39 | 2439323 DosZap
DosZap's picture

I prefer to get the President who has committed fraud, and was not elgible to even run for the office, removed TODAY.

Now with the proof finally in the open,he needs Assgard.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:49 | 2439131 q99x2
q99x2's picture

There is not enough food for the three of us. One of us must go.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:51 | 2439141 shutupnsing
Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:51 | 2439142 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Too late for an assgard. No lube for you! [/lube nazi]

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 08:59 | 2439169 The Shootist
The Shootist's picture

Sinfjotli, bitchez.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:01 | 2439180 RingToneDeaf
RingToneDeaf's picture

B.S., too much arctic radiation from Russia and Japan.

Greece has been living off the memory of the Empire for centuries, as has Spain and now the U.S.A.

Time to pay the fiddler. China creates wealth as does Germany. The rest are just grasshoppers like locusts now that winter has come.

Memories are good.

A storehouse of food is better.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:32 | 2439294 toady
toady's picture

Hmmm... Now there is an interesting thought.

How can the US live off the memory of its empire now that it's all but gone?

I guess most of us won't live to see it, since its military must be vanquished for the empire to truly end. I don't see alot of people living through that. Even then it will be a few generations before history settles into a consensus.

Will they talk about how the US saved the world in WWII? How they fought for freedom, like in a W speech?

I guess whoever emerges victorious will decide.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:08 | 2439198 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Gays shun Assgard.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:16 | 2439228 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

is that a reverse chastity belt? 

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:13 | 2439213 Contura
Contura's picture

Not Assgard.


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:38 | 2439319 toady
toady's picture

I think he meant that you need an ass guard to trade this market.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:13 | 2439216 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

If Ragnarok is coming, then who are the Valkyries? Christine Lagarde and Blythe Masters? 

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 12:36 | 2440583 valkyrie99
valkyrie99's picture


Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:15 | 2439222 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Hang on, I thought Loki ran ECB...

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:18 | 2439236 Dr. Kananga
Dr. Kananga's picture

Asgaard. It's spelled Asgaard. Gah...

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:37 | 2439315 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

First Led Zeppelin's version


And then Dread Zeppellin's version because Odin does have a sense of humor.




Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:47 | 2439370 fuu
fuu's picture

Valhalla, deliverance, why've you ever forgotten me.


\m/ \m/

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 09:57 | 2439465 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture



They are coming back !

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 10:02 | 2439506 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Great metaphor for the economic climate.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 10:02 | 2439507 prodigious_idea
prodigious_idea's picture

Great metaphor for the economic climate.

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 10:25 | 2439644 RECISION
RECISION's picture

And then Jörmungandr came, circled his coils around the world - and cracked it like an egg...

Fri, 05/18/2012 - 10:43 | 2439731 Börjesson
Börjesson's picture

Bræðr munu berjask
ok at bönum verðask,
munu systrungar
sifjum spilla;
hart er í heimi,
hórdómr mikill,
skeggöld, skalmöld,
skildir ro klofnir,
vindöld, vargöld,
áðr veröld steypisk;
mun engi maðr
öðrum þyrma.

Brothers shall fight
and fell each other,
And sisters' sons
shall kinship stain;
Hard is it on earth,
with mighty whoredom;
Axe-time, sword-time,
shields are sundered,
Wind-time, wolf-time,
ere the world falls;
Nor ever shall men
each other spare.

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