Mad Cow Slaughters Cattle Bulls As Animal Spirits Doused

Tyler Durden's picture

UPDATE: via Bloomberg:



Rumors of the return of bovine spongiform encephalopathy - or mad cow disease - in the US as the USDA conducts a conference to discuss the potential find of an infected animal has sent Live and Feeder Cattle futures limit-down and back to almost 8 month lows prices. The find has been confirmed, according to The Farmer-Stockman. Now, where is that zombie survival chart?

Live Cattle Futures...

and Intraday...

Charts: Bloomberg

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buzzsaw99's picture

Cheap steaks. Good.

Unprepared's picture

That's what happens when one is exposed to MAD MONEY for too long.

ihedgemyhedges's picture

Good way to distract the masses............

SheepDog-One's picture

Anything for a distraction these days even if its only for a few hours.....theyre fukin desperate.

mophead's picture

Oh no! MAD COW!

Well, I guess they're just going to have to slaughter lots of cows. Gee, I wonder what that will do to prices?

spiral_eyes's picture

Organic, locally-sourced food, bitchez.

NotApplicable's picture

Long pig, it's what's for dinner.

knukles's picture

Date line April 24, Stockaton, CA

Farmer Brown
who was bald on top
said he wished he could
rotate the crop

Farmer Brown, after offering his fence posts  naming rights to Burma Shave for sinage to recapture lost revenue from his now semi-quarantinened dairy herd supposedly being purchased by AID for distribution to rocket scientists in N Korea and Iran, revealed today that his cow found infeced with BSE had been of late frequently taking meals in the Senate Dining Room.

harlanaladd's picture

Lots of comments here mentioning prions as settled science.  Not so sure, myself. To get you started, see

Purdey found a link between BSE and soils depleted of copper and selenium while simultaneously abnomally high in manganese. Interesting enough to make me question the standard "prion" story. 

That Mush for brains has a nutritional component, and that "conventionally" raised cattle should suffer health effects should surprise no one.  Pastured meat is the way to go.

JeffB's picture

Did he postulate a cause for soils depleted of copper and selenium while simultaneously abnomally high in manganese? If that is a naturally random occurrence wouldn't pastured meat has the same or similar issues?

Btw, did he do his research in Washington D.C.? There's obviously a high concentration of mush for brains there, but may be too small a sample size.

mophead's picture

Here's another one:

"Tree disease threatens $2 billion California citrus industry

(Reuters) - California orange and lemon growers are bracing for a deadly bacterial disease that could ravage the state's $2 billion citrus industry after the first infected tree in the state was identified in a suburban Los Angeles yard."

It's all orchestrated. Pure Keynesians desperation. Anything to make food prices go up.

mophead's picture

"Never in our history have we dealt with a disease that is this persistent, and we have searched the world for 50 years and have not been able to find resistance to this bacteria," Batkin said.

Make the lie BIG!

"State agricultural officials have set up a quarantine area of some 20,700 square miles (53,600 square km) to prevent potentially infected fruit from leaving a region that spans six California counties."

Translation: state agricultural hitmen are going to stage a quarantine in a large area, then infect those trees while no one is looking.

"Growers are worried that if the disease spreads north it could wreak havoc on the prized orchards in California's Central Valley, the heart of the state's $2 billion citrus industry, causing significant losses in revenue and jobs."

But smart growers and land owners know that prices will rise as a result, so in the long run, they'll be more profitable. They just need to weather the storm. Got cash?

"The March 30 detection has sent growers racing to set up bug traps, hoping to stave off the advance of a deadly pathogen that already has cost billions of dollars in damage to citrus crops in Florida since 2005."

This alone will make prices go up.

"The state and the industry have spent millions of dollars to curtail a potential outbreak of the disease, according to the California Department of Food and Agriculture."

Why would the state spend money to curtail the problem? I'm baffled. If they let the trees get infected, then production will go down (temporarily) and prices will go up. Eventually production will return to normal, yet prices will stay high. If prices are higher, then revenue goes up, and if revenue goes up, growers will pay more in income taxes. And, property values will go up, higher property values = higher property taxes.

Can someone please explain why it is in the state's interest to save these trees?????????? You'd think they would try to destroy the trees, right??? Don't you think??







PersonalResponsibility's picture

Well, you know, when cows, crops, trees, fruit are all laced with cesium and plutonium, you'd better burry it all.  Good luck.

A Nanny Moose's picture

Don't mandate spraying of mala-fucking-thion from hueys in the middle of the night, then ask why all the goddamed bees are disappearing.


JeffB's picture

That doesn't sound all that Keynesian to me. Why have deadly bacteria do all the work? Even if they're highly paid, it would only take a mad scientist or two to grow the bacteria which would really do all of the dirty work.

Unless maybe they're planning on hiring thousands of workers to dig up the trees and thousands more to fill in the holes, of course.


Buck Johnson's picture

No kidding, what else happened today that wasn't reported well or put on the back page.

Sauk Leader's picture

This article just doesn't make sense. I thought "happy" cows come from california 

mkkby's picture

Time to short MCD?  It just got a lot more dangerous to eat pink slime burgers.  Too bad the sheeple will never notice or care, unless a contestant on survivor or dances with the stars mentions it.

ShankyS's picture













GeneMarchbanks's picture

Exceptionally clever, only problem is I now have splattered cow all over my post and as you can see I'm a vegetarian.

Thanks for nothing.

mayhem_korner's picture

I now have splattered cow all over my post


Never heard it described quite like that.  Is that what you tell your wife when she walks in on your little party of one?

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Vegetarian five years now, in other words, I care not.

Gully Foyle's picture


Been there, added seafood and eggs for the protein. Already ate Cheese/Milk.

Then again I have been one since I was fifteen, over thirty years now.

You can feel the difference in the diet with and without the added protein.

steve from virginia's picture


Vegetarian/vegan for 30 years now:

Don't care, eat meat and die stupid.

Paul Atreides's picture

Ever get the feeling that vegetarians consider themselves morally superior to you? Like they think that not eating meat makes them so special that their shit doesn't stink? As if when someone stops eating meat, they suddenly become holy and dignified and it excuses them for the years of inconvenience and frustration they inevitably inflict upon their friends, family and co-workers who just want to go to a restaurant and order a damn steak without constantly being reminded that they're going to hell for eating an animal that spends most of its life shitting in a field. There are those of us who don't have a hyperactive sense of guilt and we don't give a shit about your mixed up self-righteous moral vegetarian agenda.

mayhem_korner's picture



Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, for, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."  For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?  (1 Corinthians 10:25-26, 29)

Paul Atreides's picture

"Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"- 1Cor.6:13

Here is a little more humour for your day:

Theo The Angry Vegan

Pure Evil's picture

They've yet to ponder that all their veggies are fed bone meal.

LFMayor's picture

I can't wait,  vegans will be like veal after the collapse.  So tender and full of taste.

Wendigo Meats, LLC.

NotApplicable's picture

They're awfully damn bitter, though.

Pure Evil's picture

Better stock up on Heinz 57!

Divine Wind's picture

Look up the word 'vegetarian' in any Native American language dictionary.


Here is the old Navajo definition:

 vej-e-'ter-e-en. noun.  Definition of VEGETARIAN:   BAD HUNTER


i-dog's picture

Vegetarianism is no different from any other religion ... it's just a belief system. If only they wouldn't try to convert others to their cult!

Here's how to deal with them:

BoNeSxxx's picture

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, He would not have made them out of meat...


Disclaimer: I am an atheist and the above means nothing to me except I saw it on a bumper sticker and it made me laugh... seems appropiate for today's little distraction.

Pure Evil's picture

Without proselytizers we have no converts for the cult.

Stuck on Zero's picture



Frankly speaking, I'm a 2nd order vegetarian.  Yes that's right.  Second order.  That means I only eat animlas that are vegetarians.



Pure Evil's picture

At least you're getting your veggies second hand.

john39's picture

or, don't eat meat and die.  hmm....

daveeemc2's picture

and whats protecting u from [omni|carna]vores?

Ecoli on spinach, listeria on cantaloupe.

Disposal practices of human sewage sludge is an important issue to anyone who eats.<p>

Maybe think about voting for food saftey if u give a chit....literally.



GeneMarchbanks's picture

Those seem to be mostly a US phenomenon. Local food would take care of many problems yet the Burger King is mighty convenient. You choose.

NotApplicable's picture

Funny, other than choosing the restaurant where my dollar goes, I've never been given the opportunity to vote for safe food. Part of me would think it's a waste, as I can't imagine who would vote no.

But hey, I've seen sillier things on ballots.

daveeemc2's picture

You'd be suprised.

In gubamint, u can redefine things to make them safe.

Toxic sewage sludge is now called biosolids, so its now safe.  Rep. Mick Mulvaney says so.

Only in america can u change the legal definition of chit to be something other than.

A rose by any other name....


WillyGroper's picture

>>>>>>>Part of me would think it's a waste, 

 Funny, your superior intellect greases the wheels of the criminal enterprise because you can't imagine who would vote no for safe food as though choosing a restaurant would be your only exposure. Perhaps your normalcy bias is what's retarding your imagination or critical thinking ablilty. 

I thought it impossible from my unrealistic perspective, but I'm truly thunderstruckfuck amazed again.


A Nanny Moose's picture

Either way, this is why we drink.


blu's picture

You'll change your tune once they discover an instance of mad aspargus disease.

earleflorida's picture

The bee colonies are all vanishing fast, with the farmers nervous  - no polination = no crops -- but, Monsanto, and Dow Chem, et.el. say not to worry. Their hy-brid one season , two-season max seeds are insect repellent,... but fail to tell us that the residual insecticides that leech out from within crop soil are toxic pollutants mutations reinventing their genetic map as fast as the farmer can til --- every  coming seasons grows worse as the bee's feed on the toxic pollen loosing their internal gyroscope mapping system, literally flying in circles --- just like a mad cow chases his tail before it collapses. time for organic farming, or their will be no juice to go with your veggies --- or evening wine?  

francis_sawyer's picture

bee colonies are vanishing... Thanks BAYER!