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Man Pretends To Be Hank Paulson To Make Fake $353,000 Mortgage Payment To Citi, Succeeds

Tyler Durden's picture


Perhaps the most surreal fact about the case of 35 year old Bryan Gardner who back in 2009 sent CitiMortgage a $353,000 money order "drawn on the account of the 'Secretary of the Treasury Hank M. Paulson, Jr." in order to satisfy the final payment for a property in Bowie, Md, is that.... he succeeded. Fox Biz has more: "CitiMortgage erroneously accepted the document and credited Gardner's mortgage account in full," according to a Secret Service affidavit. Within months, Gardner sold the property for $254,900 and then "distributed the proceeds to others," according to public records and the Secret Service affidavit. Investigators believe Gardner may have initially secured the mortgage under false pretenses. Through a spokesman, an FBI agent who investigates mortgage fraud said he was surprised the scheme succeeded, and a former Justice Department official who helped lead fraud enforcement efforts in the wake of the financial meltdown agreed, calling the approval of the money order "bizarre." Perhaps what is more bizarre is just how a plan like this, which a 3 year old could concoct, but not even a 3 year old would be dumb enough to believe it would fly, actually succeeded. Just how big is the pool of "unclaimed" cash on deposit at CitiMortgage is there was i) no actual account was debited for the full amount and ii) nobody noticed that the Treasury department was paying off a private mortgage.

Unfortunately, we are confident that by the time the entire mortgage fraud house of cards is unwound, we will learn of cases in which President Lincoln personally prepaid mortgages closing in 2010. But have no fear: this is only money that will be funded out of the general Treasury ledger, and which you, dear taxpayer, will foot the bill for. Nobody else.

It gets even funnier as our law enforcers realize that merely the tip of the iceberg in mortgage fraud land is beyond ridiculous:

"I've never heard of a case where a mortgage for such a large amount was satisfied with a fraudulent instrument -- an instrument that's so on-its-face fraudulent," said Paul Pelletier, who until a few months ago was a top-ranking official in the Justice Department's Fraud Section. "You'd be amazed at how many people try and pass off (fraudulent) stuff. But does it ever work? No, it rarely works."


In fact, Gardner's alleged scheme didn't work the first time he tried. In November 2008, two months before his successful attempt, Gardner sent a nearly identical money order to CitiMortgage, but it was rejected, according to the Secret Service. The only difference the second time around: Gardner requested slightly more money, court documents say.


Pelletier said this case is "extraordinarily unusual" not only because CitiMortgage ultimately honored a fraudulent money order, but the company allowed it to be credited to Gardner's mortgage and likely issued a "satisfaction" on the mortgage, as reflected by Gardner's ability to sell the property.

As for Citi, why they have no idea what this means.

A CitiGroup spokesman said he was limited in the details he could offer about the case.


"We notify law enforcement authorities about matters of suspected fraud," spokesman Mark Rodgers said. "This case is currently under their purview, so we do not think it appropriate to provide details."


A spokeswoman for Paulson said the former treasury secretary was unaware of the case.


Pelletier, now with the firm Mintz Levin in Washington, said Gardner seems to have gotten "lucky" for two years, but in such cases, "You're going to get caught eventually."


Gardner has now been charged through criminal complaint with one count of mail fraud. A grand jury has yet to indict him.

We feel bad for Citi: perhaps the mortgage agent just thought they were returning a modestly reduced favor:

In November 2008, Paulson and other Bush administration officials agreed to lend CitiGroup $45 billion in taxpayer funds, hoping to stave off an even deeper financial crisis. It was one of the largest bailouts ever in U.S. history. CitiGroup has since repaid its debt to the U.S. government.

Right, by borrowing money from the Treasury to repay other money owed to the Treasury...

As for the brilliant Mr. Gardner...

According to public records in Maryland, Gardner filed for bankruptcy protection in February, and two months later he agreed to surrender his Ford Expedition and Waldorf home. The case has since been closed.

If nothing else, and TARP 2 is certainly not nothing else, the full extent of the fraud, potentially reaching well into the trillions, will provide for countless hours of late night and blogging humor. We can't wait.


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Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:52 | 1566548 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

The Greasy Paulson gets the Cheddar, bitchez!

[Even when it's only a pretend Hank 'Tanks in the Street' Paulson]

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:59 | 1566570 Ancona
Ancona's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:30 | 1566664 SMG
SMG's picture

Good thing they caught the "criminal imposter"  Hank Paulson who stole $353,000 and not the "honest real" Hank Paulson who stole $850,000,000,000 for his banking friends.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:35 | 1566683 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

And deferred his GS capital gains in the process! Double bonus!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:15 | 1566780 Josh Randall
Josh Randall's picture

put it on the UNDERHILL's!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:14 | 1567132 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Tierra Del Fuego.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:26 | 1566804 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Dammit SMG, you owe me for the drink i just spit out on my keyboard. That is freakin hilarious.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:55 | 1566875 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

A contemporary American hero.  LMAO2

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 22:54 | 1567726 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture
by SMG
on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:30


Good thing they caught the "criminal imposter"  Hank Paulson who stole $353,000 and not the "honest real" Hank Paulson who stole $850,000,000,000 for his banking friends.


+ Epic Truth. Hits hard. Hits True.

Well said.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:47 | 1566849 waylon153
waylon153's picture

Damn, even the government realizes how worthless fiat is now. This guy steals $300K and all he gets is a mail fraud charge and gives up his car?  How much is $300K in Zimbabwe bucks? 

Good thing he didn't buy gold with the funds otherwise he would have gotten the death penalty.....

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:24 | 1567155 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

The lesson? Next time, don't use the Post Orifice.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 22:43 | 1567698 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Maybe he should have aimed higher and used Ben Benanke's account?

Made me think of a great Mark Knopfler song, Postcards from Paraguay:

One thing was leading to the next
I bit off more than I could chew
I had the power to sign the cheques
It wasn't difficult to do
I couldn't stay and face the music
So many reasons why
I won't be sending postcards
From Paraguay

I robbed a bank full of dinero
A great big mountain of dough
So it was goodbye companero
And cheerio
I couldn't stay and face the music
So many reasons why
I won't be sending postcards
From Paraguay

I never meant to be a cheater
But there was blood on the wall
I had to steal from peter
To pay what I owed to paul
I couldn't stay and face the music
So many reasons why
I won't be sending postcards
From Paraguay


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:54 | 1566551 caerus
caerus's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:55 | 1566554 andybev01
andybev01's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:55 | 1566558 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:48 | 1566712 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

Keiser Report: Banking Looters (E173)

Cameron should SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Cameron is in the Bankers Pockets!



Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:55 | 1566559 Racer
Racer's picture

Poetic justice


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:56 | 1566560 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

So...I assume this still works

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:32 | 1566675 traderjoe
traderjoe's picture

So the belief among the sovereign crowd is that your birth certificate creates an account in your name at the Treasury. I can't link right now, but as I recollect, the account is used in part by credit companies to create money (for the double entry part). You can theoretically also use this account to draw money and make payments. I wonder if this is related to all of that.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:35 | 1566687 pods
pods's picture

So does this mean that O had to use his wife's account?

Thanks for reminding me about all that traderjoe, I research that from time to time and get lost in all the law mumbo jumbo.  Now I know what I am going to do tonight.

Any solid links on this?  (Besides Cornell law library)



Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:52 | 1566841 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

pods, someone was on ZH last year & shared a whole bunch of links.   unfortunately, all that stuff was archived and the forum went poof!   i do remember that most of his references were from cornell, fwiw.    good hunting.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:24 | 1566979 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"get lost in all the law mumbo jumbo. "

Is this in re the STRAWMAN argument?  I have read about that before, and yu are right.  I am not sure about the truth in the discussion.  But, I am willing to hear a layman's explanation as to why I should declare myself as a sole entity and deny the encumbrance of the STRAWMAN ledger entry...

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:46 | 1566705 Burnbright
Burnbright's picture

Yes, I believe you are correct.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:39 | 1566832 1fortheroad
1fortheroad's picture

Its called a (secured party creditor).


Or just google secured party creditor

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:54 | 1566874 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

small but important edit : scroogle secured party creditor

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:45 | 1566840 Winisk
Winisk's picture

That thought crossed my mind as well.  Sounds like something a Freeman would try. 

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:56 | 1566561 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

They'll make a movie about that guy...

and I'm going to watch it.


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:05 | 1566926 DosZap
DosZap's picture

<Sudden Debt
on Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:56

They'll make a movie about that guy...

and I'm going to watch it.


SD, Hey,DB COOPER got NADA on this dude.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 22:24 | 1567648 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Prolly is DB Cooper! ;)

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:59 | 1566562 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

 The only difference the second time around: Gardner requested slightly more money




Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:59 | 1566571 vocational tainee
vocational tainee's picture

I am mr, rompoy and I wii tax it..

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:11 | 1566614 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I don't think Obama has a European or American account ;)

I'd better try that in the Cayman's


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:48 | 1566714 prophet
prophet's picture

There is no hope and nothing will change.  Vote for me again.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 22:22 | 1567645 Shineola
Shineola's picture

Ah, yes....But, since it's Barry O, this clever ploy might get us caught.......unless...... we got a witch doctor to tattoo that certificate on a zebra hide... 


As far as I'm concerned, that would be a hell of a lot more convincing that the computer generated one from Hawaii. -Shine

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:03 | 1566566 Drater
Drater's picture

Project Mayhem bitchez

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:57 | 1566567 Cdad
Cdad's picture



...and I only had to read the headline.  City must be trying to compete with Blight on America bank for most putrid national bank, which would put it in the running for most putrid bank world wide.

What a great story, Tyler.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 15:59 | 1566572 The Swedish Chef
The Swedish Chef's picture

Well, finally something good! Got me laughing pretty hard. Thnx, Tyler....

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:00 | 1566575 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture


Stop asking so many damn questions and just cash the fooking check already. The world is full of greater fools.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:08 | 1566607 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

I wonder if this is how Timmay pays his mortgage?

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:15 | 1566627 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

With somebody elses money...

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:39 | 1566986 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"I wonder if this is how Timmay pays his mortgage?"

Probably not - but I'd sure like to see the check (or money order) he used to pay his taxes with!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:00 | 1566577 machineh
machineh's picture

I'm gonna charge my mortgage to the Barack Obama 2012 Presidential Campaign Committee.

And even include a little 'Helping American Homeowners' blurb to make it look authentic, along with a Banzai7 donut logo.

I can't lose!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 20:42 | 1567343 Payable on Death
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:05 | 1566581 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Yeah, that sounds like a TBTF bank.  Just yesterday I was talking to a friend whose brother was living in Singapore last year working for Nestle or some place.  One day his HSBC account gets credited 70k Euros out of the blue.  The next day, another 40k Euros.  A couple days later a friendly private client services rep calls up and asks if he'd like to enroll in one of the bank's fantastic wealth management programs. thanks.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:04 | 1566757 M.B. Drapier
M.B. Drapier's picture

Yes. If (emphasis on if) Citi had a practise of quietly doing smallish but meaningful favours for Key Business Influencers, then it would be not surprising at all if no-one was keeping a very close eye on the bookkeeping for this goodwill program. Maybe it would also be not too surprising if no-one was putting much effort into ID verification, as that would also tend to generate paper trails and maybe piss off the KBIs. Again, I'm not saying there was such a program at Citi - and even if there was, there's no sign that the real Hank Paulson ever took advantage of it. But Citi might be a rock worth looking under.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:03 | 1566583 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

If he tried it twice before he succeeded, I have to wonder if he had inside help getting the payment accepted. Especially since he "distributed the proceeds to others."

Sounds like a racket to me. The only thing that could make it more interesting is the infamous Linda Green.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:04 | 1566587 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Someone might withdraw tens of millions from JP Morgan Chase Bank NY, pretending to be The Bernank, and buy gold and silver with the fiatski paper.


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:07 | 1566602 optimator
optimator's picture

They probably pass a bunch of these every day that are real, so the pretend one wouldn't draw any examination.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:09 | 1566612 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

+ 1,000,000,000 BernankBux (worth 1/20th ounce of Au)

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:18 | 1566640 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Actually mortgage fraud of the institutional kind extends back at least 20 years. Spend some time with Catherine Austin Fitts for a primer on this Love Fraud American Style.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:06 | 1566591 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

It's so easy to do it's scary. Get Social Security check acct# and ABA#, get printer and check stock. Complete info and mail in. When I was in bank operations we would lose hundreds of batched checks and sometimes whole cash letters. We'd then have to go to film and re-create these items and process them "photo in lieu of original" with an indemnification stamp because the originals were missing or destroyed. I bet this check was one of those.

These banks are so large they have no way to clean up the millions of exceptions they have each year and probably wrote off the whole missing items or item in the batch of work. You should see what happens when a $3.00 check gets encoded for $30K and deposited. LOL!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:05 | 1566593 John McCloy
John McCloy's picture

Jesus..this is rich.

 Did he drop to a knee and threaten martial law as well while looking for yellow bellied hummingbirds with his eco binocs? We are so completely fucked.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:14 | 1566623 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Indeed, John.  Utterly and completely fucked...until such time as these sick assed rotten banks are finally just broken up, and half their employees sent home with forms to file for unemployment.

There will be no capital formation in banks as corrupt and incompetent as ours.  

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:06 | 1566596 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture
I'm going to change my name to Hank Paulson.
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:18 | 1566639 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

You want a birth certificate with that?

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:34 | 1566682 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

Only if it's Hawaiian.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:56 | 1567080 chubbar
chubbar's picture

You can have the Hawaiian certificate but you are going to have to take a Connecticut social security number, we are all out of Hawaii Social Security numbers!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:07 | 1566600 darkhorse007
darkhorse007's picture

We could only wish to be on that Grand Jury...

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:13 | 1566621 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture




Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:07 | 1566601 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

This is fantastic.

Did nobody question why a man worth $750m, and who was CEO of GS had a mortgage with Citigroup?

Further exactly when in 2009 did this occur, bc Tiny Tim took over on Jan 26, 2009.

All of that said this is the best story of the week. I guess Citi really is that stupid.


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:38 | 1566692 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

this makes you think how many other millionaires where scammed in that way he? :)

You just drive along a big manshion, ring the door, and when you know who he is, you don't rob him! YOU GO INTO HIS TRASH, TAKE A PHONEBILL AND GO TO A BANK TO WITHDRAW MONEY IN HIS NAME!!!

I love it :)

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:07 | 1566605 koaj
koaj's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:08 | 1566608 DonnieD
DonnieD's picture

I'm sure they've processed many payments from the Treasury Department for "important people" and didn't think anything of it. The only screw up was not verifying that it actually was the bazooka.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:11 | 1566613 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They will string this guy up while the real thief's get away with the biggest hiest the world has ever seen.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:11 | 1566616 fyrebird
fyrebird's picture

i loled

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:15 | 1566626 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Prosecutors go after small fry while letting Hank "the Godfather" and the other ringleaders of the greatest financial crimes in U.S. history go free.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:16 | 1566629 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

I sent in a payment to IRS in the name of Turbo Timmah

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:17 | 1566633 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

He probably spoke English as a second language... lol

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:17 | 1566636 pods
pods's picture

Well he used a fake document to pay fake money, Citi wrote them a fake letter that he successfully discharged a fake mortgage.

Perfect all the way around!


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:45 | 1566702 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Let's robosign it and forget all about it.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:54 | 1566871 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

what is the definition of fake here?  what he did was expose the sheep to what the system is really all about. it is paper and numbers on a page and doesn't mean anything with this fiat money system. he made up a draft of some sort , put the treasury secretary's name on it and presented it for payment and they accepted it. is that wrong?  is that criminal?  is that fraud?  he did not try to hide anything?  they are just pissed because it exposes their system to the sheep and it is easy to see that debts are not real........i alwhaays wondered if this would work. i heard about it but never had the stones to try it............ha ha ha

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:17 | 1566638 nah
nah's picture

always be yourself


unless you can be batman, in which case... you should always be batman

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:22 | 1566641 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

A private pretends the public paid off his private after the public pretends he pay off the private for the good of the public.  

sounds good

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:30 | 1566667 Schiff hits the fan
Schiff hits the fan's picture

Where is Krugman to explain that if you account for the money multiplier this was actually equivalent to $850,000 worth of stimulus so it helped the economy

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:46 | 1566703 Pay Day Today
Pay Day Today's picture

That all seems reasonable, if the local liquor store, whore house, and pot dealer are considered part of "the economy".

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:33 | 1567011 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"That all seems reasonable, if the local liquor store, whore house, and pot dealer are considered part of "the economy"."

I'm good with that - now lets count how many jobs were created or saved!


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:59 | 1567216 Tunga
Tunga's picture

Aliens bought my mansion! 


OT; Properties in Roswell NM selling for out of this world prices!


Rumor: Bank for Intergalactic Settlements (BIS) is investigating! 

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:30 | 1566669 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

signed: Hank Paulson Bitchez

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:31 | 1566671 caerus
caerus's picture

BAC selling da house! everything must go!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:37 | 1566691 DarkStarDog
DarkStarDog's picture

85% of us merikans aints gots no money.  Creditors are happy for any payment even if fraudulent hoping the next guy takes the hit...   kaboom!  confraudtation is everywhere

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:38 | 1566693 Smiddywesson
Smiddywesson's picture

"distributed the proceeds to others."

Right...anyone want to bet that Mr. Gardner has been doing some midnight gardening?

His back yard is going to look like the gopher from Caddyshack was there.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:40 | 1566694 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

no actual account was debited for the full amount

no actual account was debited for the full amount

no actual account was debited for the full amount

no actual account was debited for the full amount

no actual account was debited for the full amount

To me that speaks to the entire situation at hand. It's money for nuthin',  a hunka hunka churnin and wherever it stops, no body knows.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:19 | 1566795 andybev01
andybev01's picture

Makes me wonder if 353,000 accounts were debited for $1.00 apiece?

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:24 | 1566981 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:39 | 1566696 Barnaby
Barnaby's picture

Well, the TOTUS did say "if there's one thing I believe in it's REDEMPTION." Which is nice.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:42 | 1566699 yipcarl
yipcarl's picture

This guy is a NATIONAL HERO!!!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:48 | 1566713 walküre
walküre's picture

The man did only what was fair and just. He claimed his personal financial bailout.

If all Americans had simultaneously defaulted on their debts in late 2008, early 2009 this country could be well on its way to a real recovery.

Ordinary Americans aren't allowed to print their own money even though its common practice for the cabal and their enablers.

Imagine, a type of "flash mob" default and then a "flash mob" distribution of fake US cash.

It would have been fantastic and the thieves and pirates on Wall Street and in the White House would have been absolutely freakin' defenseless and clueless.


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:05 | 1566759 trav7777
trav7777's picture

why not just pay the debt with the fake cash instead of trying to live large AGAIN?

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:03 | 1566719 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

looks like is a member of Friends of Hank

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:56 | 1566734 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Complete idiot.  As soon as it worked he should have written a bank draft for $353,000,000,000.00 and had it deposited in a Caymans account.  Chances are the larger the check the fewer the safeguards.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:06 | 1566738 Cheesy Bastard
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 16:59 | 1566748 walküre
walküre's picture

He'll be sentenced to death.

It's pretty much the equivalent to stealing from God.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:17 | 1566784 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

If I'm lucky enough to be on his jury, we'll try for a nullification.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:00 | 1566749 Gohn Galt
Gohn Galt's picture

What a nice laugh.  Oh yes, too busy stealing to look for other theives.  You can do this mortgage tapes too, even easier.  But this isn't the dirtbag board.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:12 | 1566775 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

I am Sow-Puncher, And I will save Wall-street. NOT! haha. Silver Bitchez!!!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:17 | 1566789 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

OMG, Wallstreet can't be saved, I forgot ;) haha

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:18 | 1566791 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

Just for fun, but I want to know how far this reply-thing can go to the right side of the screen. 

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:18 | 1566793 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

Gawd, that IS fascinating

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:19 | 1566794 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

Yes I can, bring it on!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:22 | 1566802 andybev01
andybev01's picture

How much sugar have you eaten today?


(I think it goes almost all the way to the right)

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:47 | 1566848 Sow-puncher
Sow-puncher's picture

Haha:) Thank you. I am a bit bored today, so I thought I will try something different. Greetz

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:15 | 1566782 minosgal
minosgal's picture

Bryan Gardner amuses me. I would have his children.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:16 | 1566783 Screwball
Screwball's picture

Too bad his name wasn't Linda Green.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:27 | 1566807 SwingForce
SwingForce's picture

You idiots have no idea how preposterous this is. This was a brilliant plan. Honk, well, ask Christine.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:33 | 1566818 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

how is this fraudulent?  he offered and then they accepted. he did not sign paulson's name to anything. but merely made up a draft drawn on paulson's account. this is not fraud. they just screwed up. i would have taken off with the money and disappeared.........

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:38 | 1566828 EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

iii) Maybe it wasn't the first time a money order was "drawn on the account of the 'Secretary of the Treasury Hank M. Paulson, Jr." in order to satisfy the final payment for a private property?

Man those prostitutes got it made!

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:39 | 1566831 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

the top google search item


is rick perry gay?  

ha ha ha ha ha ha


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:48 | 1566850 notRobot
notRobot's picture

OT, but banking advice sought nonetheless: Should I sell my 241k mcmansion for 170k (current offer) to pay off 130k in home equity line at BAC and then go rent? Or should i keep paying 7k property tax + 2k insurance and stay put rent free (home was purchased with cash)?

I'm wondering if it's good to be holding mcmansion real estate through the next 10 years, or better to stay nimble and ready to leave town when SHTF.  

I know this ain't no personal finance advice page (we can just fight if that's better), but I'm eager for your thoughts.

If the banks are so sloppy, can i walk away from the BAC home equity loan (currently paying only 2.75%)?

Or can i use the remaining home equity to take out a second mortgage--to buy more metal of course?

Do banks give 2nd mortgages these days?

Ich bin ein Hank Paulson.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:58 | 1566867 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Interesting story to deter flock from the real story. See below. Guess who is funneling money? LOL

US Feds Aided Mexican Drug Cartel


Eric Clapton- Cocaine



Tue, 08/16/2011 - 17:57 | 1566885 DosZap
DosZap's picture

This is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funnier YET< is I wonder how MANY More this slickster did the SAME thing to, and collected.............


Hey, Hank!!!!........................SUCK ON THIS..........................................of course WE ARE paying for it, but hell, what's another $400k?????.

I WOULD HOPE, the Bank had to eat it.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:06 | 1566930 teharr
Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:56 | 1567223 walküre
walküre's picture

Best find yet on ZH. Thanks.

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 18:38 | 1567031 iinthesky
iinthesky's picture

it wasnt a check. They said a money order.. clue number one. If TD or anyone can get their hands on a copy of this instrument that would settle it. Technically, he did what the banks do every day but he did it right. I imagine they will seal the case after its done so noone can see the evidence. Sounds too familiar to be a random fraud. I think the so called patriot myths are going to turn out to be spot on much like the accurate information that people who have no fuckiing brains like to call conspiracy theory has in again and again..

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:38 | 1567075 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Within months, Gardner sold the property for $254,900 and then "distributed the proceeds to others,"

So, who now owns the home? Could this become one of those once in a generation events where a title company is actually on the hook to pay out a smidgeon of the excessive fees they charge to home buyers? In any case, this will likely turn out to be another fine example of a big bank’s bumbling and fumbling turning the life of an innocent bystander (the new home buyer) into a living hell for at least a few years.

CitiCorp Clerk A:  Hey Freddie, do you think this settlement check is any good?

CitiCorp Clerk B:  It’s fine Fannie, just throw it on the pile with the rest of the mortgage crap we’re selling to the Fed tomorrow.


Tue, 08/16/2011 - 19:39 | 1567191 Tunga
Tunga's picture

"It's ok, we do this all the time." - The well dressed man in Amsterdam. 

Tue, 08/16/2011 - 21:01 | 1567398 Schwantz
Schwantz's picture

Find the info about the richest 1% and carry out fraud in their name.  It's obviously not a crime.  If you get caught, claim self-defense and demand a jury.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 00:43 | 1567994 indio007
indio007's picture

you ain't seen nothin' yet.


Check out US v Wahler. Curiously sealed the judge and jury notes after acquittal. 32 not guilties on a closed checking account. It is only monpoly money after all. Does it really matter who prints the fiat? It's not like any of you have ever redeemed a Federal Reserve Note for lawful money






Wed, 08/17/2011 - 01:14 | 1568029 Frederic Bastiat
Frederic Bastiat's picture

At RBS, we don't know if we weren't paid a corporate bond distribution until the counterparty calls to tell us.  Not surprised.

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