Man Tries To Start His Own Bank, Fails

Tyler Durden's picture

Submitted by Tim Price contributor of Sovereign Man and Director of Investment at PFP Wealth Management

Why do we need a central bank?

For the last two weeks here in the UK, TV stations have been running a documentary series called “Bank of Dave“, in which down-to-earth businessman Dave Fishwick attempts to establish his own bank.

The premise sounds plausible: offer depositors 5% interest (as opposed to zero), and lend to credible small businesses that are otherwise ignored by the majors.

But as the irrepressible Dave soon discovers, getting a new banking licence in the UK isn’t easy.

‘Bank of Dave’ has obviously been, albeit inadvertently, deliciously well-timed, arriving on television and computer screens accompanied by increasingly shrill coverage of interest rate rigging in the LIBOR manipulation scandal.

Granted, the news of the world’s biggest banks colluding to manipulate interest rates to their own benefit has spark a major debate about banking. But what’s frustrating about the banking debate is how narrowly focused most contributors are.

Critics of the commercial banks loudly vent their outrage at the covert manipulation of interest rates, for example. But almost nobody thinks to question the overt manipulation of interest rates on the part of central banks.

It is generally accepted that central banks should be allowed to set interest rates. In the US, the base rate is effectively zero.

In the UK, it’s now being held at 0.50%, explicitly to help the banking sector at the expense of all non-bank members of the population who are unable to earn an economic return on their savings.

One might ask why we take this official rate manipulation for granted. One would also ask why the economically critical business of SAVING is being so offhandedly crushed in the name of banking expedience…

Why, for example, do we need a central bank at all?

A typical if feeble answer is that we need a lender of last resort. To which the answer is… Why? Why do we need a government-appointed entity to support banks that get in over their heads?

A typical answer is that if our banks start failing, our society starts going down the toilet. (It already has, but never mind.)

So now we have the worst of all possible worlds. Our banks are already failing, in the sense of no longer functioning according to the principles of offering an economic rate to depositors and offering economic funding to borrowers.

Plus, now we have ended up with a handful of quasi-nationalised banking group zombies that appear to be being run for the sole purpose of being granted dollops of money that they are free to hoard whenever the central bank deems it appropriate to depreciate our currencies some more.

If our banks were free to fail, a) we would have no need of a central bank, and b) we would have no need for banking guarantees.

Banking deposit agreements would simply come with a giant ‘Caveat Emptor’ on them, and depositors might be able to start earning a positive real interest rate on their savings again.

Abolishing central banks and their core functions would have the happy and non-trivial side effect of reintroducing something akin to sound money into the world economy, rather than live with permanent inflation and have the entire economy held hostage by banking interests.

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Would the Bank of Dave be eligible for tax payer funded bailouts?

cougar_w's picture

No kidding. The whole thing must be a joke.

DogSlime's picture

That's not a picture of Dave from the documentary.  I don't understand why the OP used a picture of the chairsatan.

Pladizow's picture

"The few who understand the system, will either be so interested in its profits, or so dependent on its favours that there will be no opposition from that class, while on the other hand, the great body of the people mentally incapable of comprehending the tremendous advantage that capital derives from the system, will bear its burdens without complaint, and perhaps without even suspecting that the system is inimical to their interests." – John Sherman - protégée of the Rothschild family

fockewulf190's picture

.(Soft knocks at the door)
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's me, Dave.  Open up, man, I got the stuff.
  (More knocks)
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's me, Dave, man.  Open up, I got the stuff.
CHEECH: It's, Dave, man.  Open up, I think the cops saw me come in here.
  (More knocks)
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's, Dave, man.  Will you open up, I got the stuff with me.
CHEECH: Dave, man.  Open up.
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Yeah, Dave.  C'mon, man, open up, I think the cops saw me.
CHONG: Dave's not here.
CHEECH: No, man, I'm Dave, man.
  (Sharp knocks at the door)
CHEECH: Hey, c'mon, man.
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: It's Dave, man.  Will you open up?  I got the stuff with me.
CHEECH: Dave, man.  Open up.
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Yeah, Dave.
CHONG: Dave's not here.
CHEECH: What the hell?  No, man, I am Dave, man.  Will you...
  (More knocks)
CHEECH: C'mon!  Open up the door, will you?  I got the stuff with me, I think the cops
saw me.
CHONG: Who is it?
CHEECH: Oh, what the hell is it...c'mon.  Open up the door!  It's Dave!
CHEECH: Dave!  D-A-V-E!  Will you open up the goddam door!
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Yeah, Dave!
CHONG: Dave?
CHEECH: Right, man.  Dave.  Now will you open up the door?
CHONG: Dave's not here.

insanelysane's picture

Used to listen to the albums when I was in Jr High and High school.  Seems like forever but I am not even 50 years old yet.

Badabing's picture

Don’t tell me this guy Dave doesn’t look like Ben  Berwankie!

TrainWreck1's picture

He could play Ned Beatty's role in "Deliverance II"


ATM's picture

Or Benesh Bernenke, Ben's younger brother.

Rich Bagg's picture

Shalom is an American hero.  Look what he's done.  He's saved the economy, created wealth, stabilized the system, created prosperity and more.  The only people who don't  like Shalom are those hoping and betting on a collapse.  Those anti-American zealots deserve to be wiped out and I'm glad Shalom has anally raped the bears.



Al Huxley's picture

Well, the bears, and anybody on a fixed income who was hoping to retire on their savings, but I guess you're glad all those savers have been anally raped by him as well.  What is it - 'they were asking for it, saving all that money and then flaunting it provocatively - Ben and the bankers were provoked into it, it's not their fault'.  All in the name of keeping the bankers whole - what could be better for society than perpetual enrichment of the parasitic class at the expense of EVERYBODY else? 

AldousHuxley's picture

the problem is worker's savings are in the same currency as banksters bonuses and debts sold.

you can't help debtors (innocent home owners) with low interest rates but cannot without hurting savers (innocent retirees)



Banksters exploit this by selling as much bullshit loans as possible and holding retiree's savings as hostage....

remember, mobster's ultimate goal is to convert ill gotten gains into publically accepted CASH for the exact same reason.


Either hold banksters responsible from the getgo or have them use a different currency than people's savings....

too much power will be abused. divide and conquer banksters by dividing up the power....only way to prevent futher abuse.



XitSam's picture

There's too many users trying to be MDB_ clones.

Ignatius J Reilly's picture

there is only one MDB.  We should keep it that way.

jimmytorpedo's picture

MDB pulls it off like the perfect straight man should.

All the rest,....FAIL

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Small bank.  How quaintly rococo & oxymoronic.

Joseph Jones's picture

Just another "kindly" Judaic/chosenite believer of this little jewel of a verse from his beloved Talmud:

"Even the best of the gentiles deserve only death."

Rabbis' justification for the above hate-speech: "We only mean this in time of war."  Yeah, and as Madonna says, "Maybe monkeys will fly out my butt."  I'm reminded of Woody Allen's scene in Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex when his wife finds him in bed with a sheep he dressed in black nylons and garter belt, "It's not what you think!"

It's not lying when a Judaic lies to a gentile, because gentiles are mongrels, while only Judaics are fully human. 


El Oregonian's picture

Yes, you could earn Davidends...

fireangelmaverick's picture

"This is not the bank you are looking for"..

dwdollar's picture

You need to be a criminal to operate a bank. Dave doesn't sound like one.

JimBowie1958's picture

You might try reading this.

Apparently it is not as true as it may have once been true.

I wonder how many people would freak out if the mormon church had half as much power int he financial sector as Jews did in the 30's?

But even then, it was the Episcopalians that held all the real power  in the US and those fuckers dont give up jack shit to anyone.

deez nutz's picture

"Hi there, I'm Dave from Dave's Bank and we operate on pure honesty, conveneince and transparency.  Unlike other banks which are dishonest we offer 5% interest on accounts and use no deposit slips.  Simply drive up to the teller, hand her you money and your off!!"

signed John "David" Corzine 

Likstane's picture

It failed because Ben didn't want his brother in the banking business.

DogSlime's picture

Maybe I'm missing your irony, but that picture seems to be of Ben himself.  Dave from the documentary looks nothing like that.

Quite confusing to make an article about Dave, but put a photo of Ben up there.

TheCanadianAustrian's picture

How is this an article about Dave? He's referenced in passing in the first 5 sentences.

Likstane's picture

Ok, maybe it is a pic of benny shalom himself.  If you are going to produce an article about Dave's bank, don't you think a pic of Dave would have been appropriate?   If it is Dave, then maybe they are twins. 

Dr. Engali's picture

Well that's why you failed Dave. Down to earth and banker don't go well together. You have to be willing to fuck over anybody and everybody.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



The ECB's Reserve Requirement is 1%. 

He with the biggest lever wins (until he loses).

How much cash did Dave intend to keep on hand at his bank?


buzzsaw99's picture

Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.


Proverbs 30:20

Seize Mars's picture

Well here's the problem:

"The premise sounds plausible: offer depositors 5% interest (as opposed to zero), and lend to credible small businesses that are otherwise ignored by the majors."

This isn't really what banks do. I would recommend that Dave Fishwick get acquainted with the concept of repo.


Snakeeyes's picture

How can anyone do it?

In the us, they are considering eminent domain to seize mortgages held by investors and get a 30% return!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

JLee2027's picture

And if you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. 

Once housing prices drop to the 1970's/80's level, then we can talk recovery. Not until.



icanhasbailout's picture

I applied for $13B in TARP funds for my cats' "bank holding company" (just added the last name "bank" to one of them, but they are at least as genuine in that regard as was Goldman Sachs) way back in 2008.

General Decline's picture

I say screw the license. Open up for business anyway. Go make some money if you think you can. Paperwork is secondary.

smiler03's picture

There's an expression you might recognise. "Get Real".

Seasmoke's picture

i dont trust this guy, he seems too honest

Joseph Jones's picture

C'mon you slugs, bump this guy up! 

Best member post of the week. 

TWSceptic's picture

"As it turned out: very bloody difficult. The Financial Services Authority (FSA) wouldn't even meet me unless I put millions of pounds in a protected account with them. The tiny bank I wanted to create was never going to need that much security, but their demands meant that there was no chance of me getting a banking licence."


And there you have it, central planning and overregulation ruining the free market and therefore preventing a healthy and honest banking sector to develop. Good job politicians and other sociopaths.

HD's picture

No Spiderman towels = not a bank


NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

Steve Martin tried establishing Fred's Bank in the late 70s but unfortunately it too did not succeed.  Martin took the blame for the lack of success and said it was only because of the name.


yogibear's picture

Dave doesn't belong to the bankster club.  Learn how to swindle accounts, cook  books and send account reserves/deposits off-shore and collapse the bank.

Then ask for a bailout.

The banksters offer on-hand  classes on looting and swindling techniques.

eclectic syncretist's picture

In Fedworld money = debt.  All money comes from the Fed in the form of issued debt that is backed by nothing at all.  This is done because by law, congress cannot print money, but it can BORROW money.  So rather then print it themselves they created the Fed to "print" it and then LOAN it to the government.  It's an end run on the constitution and clearly NOT what the founding fathers wanted.  In fact, it was what most of them went on record saying had to be avoided at all costs for the nation to succeed as they envisioned and hoped.

In order to keep the fed banksters complicit in the technically illegal scheme they get to collect interest on the play money that they imagine and then loan to congress.  The big banks also get the monopolistic protection of the Fed when they screw up, like they did in 2008, because like the government, they can borrow infinitely out of nothing for a modest fee.  This nothing they then call "collateral" against which they in turn issue 10X +  debt to the public, which thinks it has money, but in fact only has debt.

Those bills in your pocket mean that the Fed owes you that much money, not that you have that much money.  You don't have any money because there isn't any.  It's all debt.  And it's not a matter of semantics because the system is set up entirely based on debt so that interest can be skimmed for nothing

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

This is one of the best and most succint descriptions of our slavery situation I've yet read, well done sir.

I should be working's picture

He looks kinda like Bernanke, maybe Ben's poorer twin brother?

Downtoolong's picture

When I read this title and saw the photo, I thought this article was literally referring to the Fed failing. Wishful thinking and the power of suggestion I guess.


Figuratively speaking, I guess the article still does refer to that. Maybe that’s because even the FDIC can’t insure $3 trillion in deposits.