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Map Of The Dead: How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

Tyler Durden's picture




 

On a long enough timeline... the zombies will arise, and exhibit a sudden craving for brain stew. So what is a person who will have survived the great central bank collapse to do? Full interactive map for any specific location in the US can be found at http://www.mapofthedead.com

US Danger Zones...

And for our friends at the New York Fed...

 

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Wed, 04/11/2012 - 09:55 | 2334273 MountainGreenhouse
MountainGreenhouse's picture

Glad I'm not in a danger zone :)  Although there is a small area about 20 minutes car ride away.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:04 | 2334306 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

MountainGreenhouse

Dude, you miss out on the fun. As Peter Clines points out in his Ex series, Exheroes and Expatriots, one of the hobbies to points based on ending famous zombies.

We can include rich zombies now.

And politico zombies.


Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:00 | 2334278 vmromk
vmromk's picture

I will be hiding out in Bernanke's house, it's the only safe place.

Who would want to seek revenge on the greatest Ponzi master of all time ?

Bernank, clear out that spare bedroom for me, you FUCKING POS.

 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 09:59 | 2334283 Instant Wealth
Instant Wealth's picture

Danger Zone, huh? Thanks to Zerohedge, I have a crappy 80's Kenny Loggins song stuck in my ears for the rest of the day ...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:08 | 2334318 fuu
fuu's picture

With all those zombies you will need to be Footloose.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7OyWvyt6mI

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:57 | 2334673 Paul Atreides
Wed, 04/11/2012 - 09:59 | 2334286 Mongrel
Mongrel's picture

Hey, all these Zombie Zones are where the negroes are! Is this cartographer trying to tell us something?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:15 | 2334339 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

"No Limit Zombies" in hoodies? Sounds like SW Atlanta...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:05 | 2334506 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Looks like a map of where the Welfare Checks are mailed.  No Welfare then major Chaos. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:13 | 2334533 carguym14
carguym14's picture

"Where da white women at?"

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:04 | 2334660 10mm
10mm's picture

The usual haunts,sucking Mandingo cock thru portholes in bathroom stalls.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:00 | 2334289 vegas
vegas's picture

Vermont and rural Nebraska look safe [for now]. The downside of course is that you'd actually have to be there. Sacrifices mi amigos por la familia.

 

http;//vegasxau.blogspot.com

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:13 | 2334332 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

i'm digging the dakotas

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:34 | 2335029 GrumpyChicken
GrumpyChicken's picture

I'm in VT now.  The weather generally sucks about 300 days a year but we have surprisingly easy access to guns and ammo for a liberal state, and plenty of room to farm, so bring on the zombie apocalypse!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:01 | 2334290 Ghostman
Ghostman's picture

What's up with Minneapolis? A bunch of Norweigan central banker goons? 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:10 | 2334321 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Somali Zombies.

Many drive taxicabs.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:10 | 2334323 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

Ditto Missoula Montana- all those log cabin castles, just teeming with zombies...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:23 | 2334372 Manthong
Manthong's picture

SOMETHING is going on there.. maybe in the water boiling up from the caldera?

http://www.montanakaimin.com/news/rhythms-that-carry-from-west-africa-to-the-rockies-1.2814757#.T4WS4NXy9I0

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:25 | 2334378 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Victus mortuus californicus?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:24 | 2334375 aerojet
aerojet's picture

I don't really understand what the map is showing--population density?  Nearby Federal Reserve branches? 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:35 | 2334822 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

It's just a map of population density based on the concentration of man-made structures. The theory seems to be More People=More Zombies, but I think that's a bit oversimplified.

Manhattan has a concentration of high-end zombies (banksters and fundies) while Houston, for example, has a concentration of low-end zombies.

When the SNAP cards stop working, I'm more worried about the Trayvon Contingent than the John Paulsons and Jamie Dimons. Either way, I'll be in Baja California on the coast.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:01 | 2334291 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

I would guess that bartering phase will only be after all the zombies are dead.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 19:40 | 2336376 fuu
fuu's picture

<golf clap>

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:02 | 2334296 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

I'm going to default on as much as I can.  That's what I do know.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:01 | 2334297 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

All zombie defense is local.  For all the uninformed above - "Zombie" is code for destitute and desperate survivors of the collapse of ponzi-funded infrastructure and basic economic activity that provides >>50% of the US population with their ability to survive day-to-day.  This map should be your guide on 1) whether to plan to bug out or bug in when conditions suggest it is time to do so.  2) How many and much guns, ammo, defensive infrastucture, and training you should be acquiring right now in advance of 1).

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:50 | 2334459 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

It ain't worth shit if your house and car is not bullet-proof.  ´Bullet-proofing is a must-do for an ZHer.  Also look into high-security fences and land mines.  Get ready for the zombies.   

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:11 | 2334526 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

make that fire proof man.  Ohio Blue-tip Realty can move anyone, no matter how big their digs.   Check you field of fire zones and make sure you don't have any blind spots that are within baseball throwing range, else you'll get cocktailed.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:29 | 2335014 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Then all you have to do is stay way 24/7.  See how stupid all of this is?  Static fortifications never work.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:02 | 2334299 balanced
balanced's picture

Woot! Looks like I'm safe -- smack dab in the center of a big red dot. Wait...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:05 | 2334312 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Darnit, now I have to chase that thing all day.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:05 | 2334308 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

well i am in a good area how ever i better not expand the map even one arrow, as there is a big red blob of death sitting right outside my area

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:12 | 2334309 HD
HD's picture

Just for fun...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyTh4fPCDfI

 

 

FIGHT SOPA 2.0 Congress Votes 4-23-2012 on the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act of 2011

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:06 | 2334315 fuu
fuu's picture

Golden Hordes bitchez.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:12 | 2334325 Rover
Rover's picture

Asia looks clean to me...wait, Nepal has hotspots?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:11 | 2334326 the 300000000th...
the 300000000th percent's picture

I would take a zombie event way before i would take a economic collapse. Because zombies don't panic and go empty the grocery store shelves. And also they won't shoot at you and try and rape your wife and daughters in a without rule of law situation. We can only pray for zombies at this point, boy wouldnt that be a relief.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:18 | 2334346 HD
HD's picture

I don't know - what if a zombie central banker can just print more and more zombies...

 

 

 

FIGHT SOPA 2.0 Congress Votes 4-23-2012 on the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act of 2011

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:12 | 2334328 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Liberate a Costco in your neighborhood...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:13 | 2334657 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

I heard of six well-trained and well-equipped men that have a detailed plan to do essentially that, except a Wal-Mart, if TSHTF. 

Kinda sorta makes sense.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:15 | 2334746 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

May be infested with rare Fat zombies...

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:14 | 2334903 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

It's called a "looting crew" and exactly why I don't plan to go anywhere near any town when the flag goes up.  Where do you think what little (or formerly) law enforcement there is will concentrate?  How many ad-hoc looting crews will be formed the moment it becomes clear that private security, law enforcement, and perhaps National Guard are spread too thin?

Recommend you see the great vintage movie "The Hallelujah Trail", and think about tens of "Battle of Whiskey Hill"s breaking out in urban areas, this time with semi-automatic weapons.  No thanks, I'll bug in or out, but looking for trouble will be suicide.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 18:30 | 2336180 Hagbard Celine
Hagbard Celine's picture

more likely to be used as centers of gang-ish groups. lots of usable indoor space out of the weather, centrally located, with lots of clear buffer areas, a.k.a. parking lots, around them

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:12 | 2334330 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

i saw a zombie on cnbc this morning, he goes by name of cramer.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:16 | 2334342 Rover
Rover's picture

Zombies eat brains, Cramer eats coke. Close, but no cigar!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:14 | 2334338 blueridgeviews
blueridgeviews's picture

The place to be when the collapse arrives is on a farm.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:17 | 2334348 bshirley1968
bshirley1968's picture

It will take more than just a "farm".  Every been on a farm?  Know what it takes to run a farm?  Now add all it will take to keep a farm from those who want your farm.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:18 | 2334759 DosZap
DosZap's picture

The place to be when the collapse arrives is on a farm

NOPE, the Fascists have already put EO's into placed to seize ALL property, ALL......................................do you get it.

If you own a home, sell the SOB................NOW

Better be mobile and gone before the SHTF.

Remember, "Fixed battle emplacements are a monument to the stupidity of of MAN."

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 18:32 | 2336188 Hagbard Celine
Hagbard Celine's picture

I think the ratio of fascist to farm is a lot lower than you think

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 20:42 | 2336522 Mongrel
Mongrel's picture

Is your name McDonald?

Tue, 04/24/2012 - 15:16 | 2371070 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

That is about the last place I would want to be, unless I had a lot of friends with me. Farms will be targets, not sanctuaries.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:16 | 2334340 bshirley1968
bshirley1968's picture

Your need more arrows on the map pointing out hot spots.  Let me help out.  Detroit, Philadelphia, Boston, New York, Charlotte, Richmond, entire state of Deleware and Maryland, Atlanta, Miami, Orlando, Birmingham, Memphis, Denver, St. Louis, just to name a few.  Anywhere people are stacked on top of eachother like cord wood.  The food supply will be gone in about 4 days.  People will come out of those cities like angry ants marching on a path of destruction.  The center of the country is the best "cushion" against such a migration.  Many will be picked off along the way, and others will calm down some or even stop in other areas before they get there.  Better start the county militias now and be prepared to defend your borders.  It will be hard to turn away the truly needy but the time will come when you have no choice.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:22 | 2334367 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Its already zombieville in Detroit and from the recent reports from a freind in Miami it has already started their too.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:30 | 2334393 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

I resent the entire state of Maryland being on your hot spot list.  LWRC, maker of the finest gas piston AR-15s is on the Eastern Shore.  There are other places too that will make one hell of a stand, as to be worthy of epic story and song when the survivors retreat to Virginia tell of it.  Don't write us off.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:52 | 2334450 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Look at the map.  You are screwed.  Move here:

http://www.laruetactical.com/careers (Leander, TX / since 1980) needs more great team folks.
 

... Matter-of-fact, we're growing when nobody else is. If you pride yourself on punctuality and need very little supervision to stay productive, right now need we need multiples of …

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:19 | 2334355 Clay Hill
Clay Hill's picture

Just point me to the * gUllY fOYle frEE zOnE*

(friendly ball busting)

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:25 | 2334377 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

When that time comes, we can say it loud, and proud, "We're all Keynsian now."

(plagarized from that Keynes/Hayek video)

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:27 | 2334381 connda
connda's picture

Sitka Alaska?  Huh?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:40 | 2334418 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Are they 100% dependent on the ponzi in Alaska?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:31 | 2334392 Lazane
Lazane's picture

May be difficult to avoid the dangerzone.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8rZWw9HE7o&feature=player_embedded

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:31 | 2334395 mikhail kalashnikov
mikhail kalashnikov's picture

Best get yourself one of my babies.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:14 | 2334535 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

true dat.  Reliable as a shovel.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:38 | 2334415 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

Sad to say, but this is all part of the CB Cartel plan.

When the SHTF, the muppets will be going at each with guns, knives and pitchforks.

The CBs and their chosen minions will be in secure off-shore locations observing the mayhem thru satellite feeds and air reconaissance.

The Central Planning boys have been planning population reduction measures for a long time.

Wars help but are only regional in their effect.  Biological measures have not been used on a large scale because of their unpredictability.  But turn off the energy and the Oil Spigot Worldwide and you have a Global game of survival of the fittest muppets.

When the population has been reduced to the desired level.  They can return as saviors to introduce the survivors to the new global government.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:44 | 2334624 V in PA
V in PA's picture

The Global Game of Survival will produce some World Class War-Lords. CB's have yet to figure out how to handle war-lords (ex Afghanistan). It will be several hundred years of Dark Ages before the CB's get their throne back.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:27 | 2335002 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Damn you for being right. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:43 | 2334435 Artifice
Artifice's picture

Sure, always remember to double tap your zombies.

 

The most important rule to follow in the event of the zombie revolution though is:

 

Stay fit.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:45 | 2334436 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Whenever I see the word 'zombies' here on ZH, it always reminds me of Romero's 1978 "Dawn of the Dead",  and the pseudo tv 'debates' he staged regarding the psychology/physiology of the 'creatures'. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieSwY6kPSDY

1:00 -2:22

No reason.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 10:56 | 2334442 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

All I see on that map is the concentration of Obama voters. Oh, wait, my bad, same difference.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:08 | 2334517 unclebill
unclebill's picture

I am clear!!!!! YEAH!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:19 | 2334549 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

The antidote for zombies is here.

http://www.extremeshockusa.com/cgistore/store.cgi?page=/new/product_info.html&setup=1&cart_id=134

I'm not affiliated with the above company, so I hope you don't view this as spam.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:28 | 2334578 Nukular Freedum
Nukular Freedum's picture

Theyre pretty damn fast in Dawn of the Dead. Still, if you cant beat em, join em, eh?

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:19 | 2334728 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

Not nearly so fast as in "Dead Snow", and nowhere near as difficult to deal with as the tenacious z's of "The Return of the Living Dead", in which even tiny bits of 'em were still motile; ghod forbid you should incinerate those infected and accidentally breathe in a bit of the ash... Hey! For some reason I just thought of Fukushima!

Heh, thanks for the stroll.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:39 | 2334616 AUELOX
AUELOX's picture

I'm checking to see if my new avitar is working.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:40 | 2334617 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Dense urban areas and zombie danger zones, who would have thought such a relationship possible?!?!?!

/

Lead in the head will drop the undead!!!  Woo Hoo!!!

Look here, smile and wait for flash!!!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 11:58 | 2334672 TradingTroll
TradingTroll's picture

The zombies have already attacked, but I don't see any 'mericans fighting back.
TSA fondles your 5 year old daughter? Must be no problem, no TSA getting shot.
Bank and sheriff foreclose on your neighbor and friends? Must be no problem, no bankers and sheriffs getting shot.
Politicians selling out American industries offshore, putting entire cities out of work? No problem, no politicians getting shot. (By the people)
No, at the end of a day its a fetish and a dream. All those guns, all that ammo. All that foreplay. Erectile dysfunction is a bigger problem than I thought.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:42 | 2335056 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Normalcy bias is clouding your thinking pal.  The scam runs until it doesn't, then we play The Road Warrior with a little twist of Zulu Dawn mixed in for flavor.
Best of luck.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:19 | 2334764 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I have an equally important map showing all US Strategic Twinkie Reserve Facilities.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:49 | 2334869 denny69
denny69's picture

Please, by all means, publish it!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 12:51 | 2334878 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Ride due west as the sun sets. Turn left at the Rocky Mountains Bitchezzz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lsZE8MpQZI&feature=related

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:33 | 2335025 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Conan...what is the best in life?

Conan:  "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."

Say hello to the Golden Horde!  Coming soon to a suburb near you. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:40 | 2335043 The Beam
The Beam's picture

That's where I lucked out with my Belarusian wife. I was told she would be the one to defeat the Zombies. I just hope the Oracle was right! I believe, I believe!

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 13:56 | 2335115 non_anon
Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:02 | 2335140 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

THIS IS CRAP!!!!

 

Why hasn't the map got any Indian restaurants? What if I'm surviving and get peckish for a nice chiken jalfrezi??

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 14:05 | 2335155 Thadius T. Crunk
Thadius T. Crunk's picture

Butte, Montana has as large a "danger zone" as San Fransico? This map is a joke.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:41 | 2335634 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

I couldn't agree more.  Where I live, if I were to go to the sheriff and suggest that contingency plans be made to contain the golden horde to our north, they would probably report me to DHS.  If one were to invite the sherrif in Butte Montana to an NRA meeting or gun club meeting to discuss something like this, he would probably form a committee to do so.

http://www.bsb.mt.gov/police/

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 15:54 | 2335701 W10321303
W10321303's picture

So are you saying 'The Hive' is in Manhattan? I thought possibly it was outside Jeruselem. Since 'they' have been using the most advanced experimental weapons lately. Or possibly DofC area?

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