Market Soars Following Latest "China Bails Out Europe" Rumor: Expected Rumor Half Life - 15 Minutes

Tyler Durden's picture

Update 2: Yes, the FT story that cites unidentified Italian officials, does exist. Link is here

Update: "Further negotiations are likely to take place soon, FT says, citing unidentified Italian officials". Ok seriously, enough with this bullshit, please.

How many times can the idiotic market keep falling for the same old rumor over and over and over again? Yes, for those wondering what caused this epic surge in stocks on massive volume look no further than the following FT headline which is precisely the same as what we have seen every single other "Chinese white knight" time, namely that Italy is in talks with China Investment to buy bonds, assets (it also makes it perfectly clear who the real "IMF" is). That said, this is at least the 4th time that China has "bailed out" Europe in 2011. We give this latest rumor a 15 minute half life.

Idiot robot and momo chaser update, 14 minutes later:

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Cdad's picture

Banker desperation, bitchez!

TruthInSunshine's picture

It's insanely funny; the whacky rumors floated by the hour to try and allow those trapped long a better exit point.

At this time, human rumor spreading is actually screwing with the algo-bots.

spiral_eyes's picture

I know pork bellies have spiked this year, but that's still no reason for China to buy up all the PIGs...

Cdad's picture

Sell the rerack BTFR reramp...or something like that.  Or buy Floating on Air if you are a P. Costa fan.

Of course, the BlowHorn [CNBC] is milking the rumor for all it [isn't] worth.  Cue Bill "I should have stayed on leave" Giffith and Maria "I have the sexiest hair on Earth" Bartiromo.


DefiantSurf's picture

WTF? So where did the BS come from? Or is it reverse BS?

"We did not just say Bernanke was bailing out BAC"

TruthInSunshine's picture

Tomorrow, Myanmar (formerly Burma) tenders full buyout of BAC at 60% existing share premium.

CClarity's picture

China announces QE4, bypassing Bernanke to cue up the US equity markets!

SheepDog-One's picture

CNBC needs one of those flashy-things from Men in Black....'you heard no rumor from us, these are not the rumors youre looking for'...

caerus's picture

we didn't not say they were buying bonds

SheepDog-One's picture

Apparently markets were floating on a bit higher air there for a minute based upon another insane rumor....hmmm must be time to pull out QE4 rumors!

Cdad's picture

Super double secret rumor-nonrumor-non cure headfake, selloff, rally, selloff, reramp.....

There, price stability!

molecool's picture

How do we get this on ZeroHedge?

Did Tomo Rape The Market - Part Deux

RockyRacoon's picture

You just did.   I read it.  A fine piece of reporting.

Hephasteus's picture

That last blue line looks like it's got some reach on it. Must be a baller.

Black Forest's picture

And BTFD a few minutes before the 5th Chinese bailout.

X.inf.capt's picture

silver almost below 40, another two bucks down and im backin' up the truck.


pre-65 dimes


this is looking almost as good as a redheaded girl.

Sudden Debt's picture

In Euroland, Silver is still higher than last week :)


Sudden Debt's picture



Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

ANROYD - will this make it to Websters as a new verb - any time soon? ;-)

Paid back any debts as of today, just in case for more rumors  EUR will be replaced in Germany </FT>

Lord Welligton's picture

as the question was "What's BTDF" I think the correct answer is ......

Buy The Dipping Fuck.


citta vritti's picture

winner of the Kim @Kantor Kontest

DefiantSurf's picture

and cue the daily melt up on hopium

DefiantSurf's picture

which one of you bitchez junked my hopium? Seen the dow lately?

EvlTheCat's picture

I junked you because you bitched about getting a bitchez junk ! ;)

EvlTheCat's picture

-53 is the record.  Keep it up!!

Citxmech's picture

JFC - why don't they just draw the chart they want for the day and hand it out at the opening bell.  Total f'n ramp job.

Zonker's picture

That just proves how much conviction the Bears have about the facts - NONE!

Tyler Durden's picture

Change "facts" with "central planner's desire to sacrifice their middle class" and you are 100% correct.

narapoiddyslexia's picture

OT, but any theories about why gold spot and the DOW seem correlated?

DaveyJones's picture

Screaming Yellow Zonkers

Hobbleknee's picture

that brings back memories

ZippyDooDah's picture

Put some money on those "facts" of yours...and if you go long I will LMAO.

Piranhanoia's picture

Which Bears?  The silver bears?  Yogi?  Smokey?

Troublehoff's picture

This is all inflationary:

The misallocation of capital that is now required just to sustain this system means that future (real) growth prospects become a more and more distant prospect. This is creating a vicious cycle which, assuming we wont take our deflationary medicine, job losses and bankruptcies, will lead to horrific inflation. 

JPM Hater001's picture

Please stop this.  Missallocation can only be fixed with misallocation.  Two wrongs do make a right.

tmosley's picture

And three rights make a left, which is why I always keep six hookers in the car.  Much more fun than just turning the wheel.

DaveyJones's picture

it's pretty clear they've chose this strategy and are sticking with it. Combine that with a profound growth collapse from Peak Oil and you have one ugly chapter. 

Lord Welligton's picture

I can sell you some Greek 1 Year debt.

I'll give you a 20% discount.

I need the cash because I want to put my money into Bank of America.

dwdollar's picture

Fourth time the charm?  As if China bailing out the Western world is bullish...  LOL...

Corn1945's picture

It is scary how similar this is to 2008. Bank CEOs on CNBC. Bullshit bailout rumors flying around. Variations of "we're well capitalized".