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MarketWatch Goes Full Propaganda Retard

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Earlier we noted that the record lottery jackpot is nothing but a gimmick to get "the poor" to part with what little wealth they have. As it turns out, we should have also added "the stupid", something which MarketWatch has, however, figured out, and in a blatant attempt to ride on the Mega Millions histeria, and to get the the full blown stock market ponzi up and running, the WSJ sister publication is now petitioning everyone to please understand that playing the lottery and participating in a broken, fraudulent and corrupt stock market, are both one and the same: "You have to play to win." We must thank MarketWatch for implicitly pointing out that winning in the centrally planned stock ponzi scheme, in which every trade is frontrun by either a major bank or a millisecond algo, has the same 1 in 100,000,000+ odds as winning the lottery, roughly the same as coming out of Bernie Madoff Asset Management with all your cash intact.

From the MW front page.

 

And if anyone is wondering why the propaganda has gone full retard, the reason is simple. Recall that 10 days ago we said:

In the latest week, ICI just reported that domestic equity retail funds just saw another $2.9 billion outflow, the 4th consecutive in a row, and the 23 of out 27 outflows during the entire parabolic blow off top phase the market has undergone since October, and instead put another $9 billion in fixed income funds "soaring" yields be damned. What does this mean? Probably that the stock ramp is about to get uber-parabolic for the simple reason that this is the only thing left in the status quo's arsenal - to keep doing the same old same old, hoping for a different outcome, because this time it's different. Only this time the dumb money either doesn't have the cash to burn, or just doesn't want to participate in a rigged, corrupt, centrally-planned market.

Yup - the banks are so loaded up with toxic stocks that they have NO CHOICE but to keep the ramp accelerating higher and higher until "stupid" retail comes back in and distribution happens, leaving the retail investor holding the hollow bag again. Alas, there were no inflows this week either. Which means that just like Italian banks, the meltup could well accelerate even more from here.

Sadly, retail just doesn't care any more. And once the Primary Dealers and hedge funds realize they have all gone Wile Coyote over the cliff well... gravity ensues.

h/t Nolsgrad

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Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:31 | 2304509 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

LOLz. About right.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2304519 LuKOsro
LuKOsro's picture

THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS NOT TO PLAY

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304540 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Isn't the final stage of a bubble "delusion"?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304572 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Facebook IPO Update & Threadjacking

Facebook Admits Adverse Ruling In Lawsuits "Could have a significant impact on our business"; Revises S-1

http://www.forbes.com/sites/greatspeculations/2012/03/30/facebooks-revised-s-1-acknowledges-heightened-litigation-risks-pre-ipo/

PIC OF THE DAY; Zuckerberg Spotted In Asia Wearing Black Hoodie

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/28/mark-zuckerberg-wall-street_n_1384351.html

REPORT: Facebook Saves Spy Agency Billions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJ380SHZvYU

 

 

 

 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:43 | 2304577 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Whatever happened to cheat to win?!?

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 00:03 | 2305691 dlmaniac
dlmaniac's picture

Refusing to play is an act of terrorism.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:21 | 2306054 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Someone once told me gambling is a tax on people that can't do math......I thought about it a bit and decided he was right.

 

I then went and bought some gold.....that was a really long time ago.

 

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 07:03 | 2307397 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

And .... like the lottery we know only a few players win (the banksters).  The rest lose.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:23 | 2306060 barroter
barroter's picture

The movie Syriana had a great line in it:

"Corruption keeps us safe and warm. Corruption, is why you and I are prancing around in here instead of fighting for scraps of meat out on the streets.  Corruption....is why we win."

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:28 | 2304708 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

FACEBOOK CREATED BY DOUCHEBAGS FOR DOUCHEBAGS, EXCLUSIVELY.

 

AND MARKETWATCH JUST PLAYED THEMSELVES SO HARD EQUATING THE STOCK MARKET TO THE LOTTERY -- WHAT A BUNCH OF USELESS FUCKTARDS!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:47 | 2305274 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Accidental honesty - can't afford that now. Silence that fool.

Actually on further consideration at least with lottery they don't hand your money to a croney when going bancrupt then walk away free - it seems better regulated.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:35 | 2305368 akak
akak's picture

That MarketWatch headline and story was so full-retard, I fully expected to see that the author's name underneath it was "RobotTrader".

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 01:31 | 2305821 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

 

 

I still have an account on Market Wash since 2007. I could write a book on all the shit that went behind the scenes. Back in the day, I was a wrath of hell in connecting our end game. Yet, MW never deleted my account. Why? Because MW was able to see me assist on clamping down on insider trading rings. How did Market Wash know? They read my private emails sent from officials asking me questions.  Shortly after, the site became a parlor pinko-- <delete all member accounts>. I lost a large percentage of inner circle MW friends. 

In search of another financial site, I stumbled across Zerohedge [old blog] website. Life brings many treasures, without MW actions.. I would still be stagnated on an illusion that I knew didn’t exist. 

Keep up the good work ZH members!

 

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 14:49 | 2306609 Etiolated Esthete
Etiolated Esthete's picture

Somewhere a MarketWatch columnist is trying to shoehorn "Apple," "Mega Millions," "Trayvon," and "Facebook" into the same headline.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:02 | 2305309 Clown Car
Clown Car's picture

Careless whisper?

Was George Michael talking about the cash equities market and the retail investor?

I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth, pain is that all you'll find

I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now, who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2304665 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

What do you mean, Apple isn't going to own China and Pandora, Groupon, Zipcar, Facebook, LinkedIn and Amazon are overvalued?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304547 Western
Western's picture

"Hello Dr. Bernanke, would you like to play a game?

 

What a strange game, the only winning move is not to play"

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:18 | 2304671 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

The Bernank and the Morgue sure as hell don't want the retail crowd to divert their remaining wealth into phyzz either, with all the manipulation going on. Well FU Ben, my 71 year old Mom finally deep sixed her mutual fund and just picked up her first monster box because she knows your going to print billions out of thin air again real soon.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:40 | 2304787 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Can she call my parents?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:56 | 2305041 ThatGuyEhler
ThatGuyEhler's picture

Mine as well..... especially since I still live with mine.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:52 | 2305026 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Tell her to  be carefule if she goes boating. There's been a lot of accidents going around.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:54 | 2304609 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

MW is a lightweight site -- ruled by the fart-mouthed AmericanPatriot.

AmericanPatriot can lick my boots.

 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:06 | 2304660 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

I haven't followed it in 2 years, he's still around? Gold hatin'?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2304878 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

AmericanPatriot !!

Now that's a troll for you! He argued that gold would go back to 400 a few years back and he's still there. Not like my colleagues here like Travis and the money bag guy, or JonnyBravo

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 00:17 | 2307238 Marc_W
Marc_W's picture

He's still there spouting the same comments on gold reverting "to its mean historical price" of $400.

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 11:04 | 2307558 kk1532003
kk1532003's picture

you mean it's historical means of $456...

 

AP makes it very specific, as to somehow make it a bit more credible.

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 00:18 | 2307240 Marc_W
Marc_W's picture

American Patriot...

 

Hater of gold, lover of fiat, California, and BMW's.

 

I kind of get the sense that he might be Ben Stein.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:05 | 2304655 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

>>"THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS NOT TO PLAY"<<

 

AMEN!! 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2304672 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Or, as WOPR said regarding thermonuclear war: "Strange game.  The only winning move is not to play"

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2304676 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

NEVER go full retard.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:24 | 2304944 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

Just Say No.

 

As opposed to, "Hey thanks, man.."

 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:41 | 2305279 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Kind of harsh vis a vi retards.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:15 | 2304711 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

YOU CAN'T WIN

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:57 | 2304855 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

I just bought another ticket at the WAWA machine and let me tell you I've never seen people so jovial and happy in a WAWA before-I guess they all think they're going to be billionaires tomorrow night.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:23 | 2304940 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

""..greetings, Professor Falken.  Would you like to play a nice game of chess?""

 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:59 | 2304645 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fuck market watch. They edit comments for language and ban you. Gotta fall in line or they whoosh ya.

Bunch of bulltards cheerleading Momo stocks all day long.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2304699 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

but if enough of the sheeple believe it, then......

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:20 | 2304727 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

AND....they were paid to say it by the same banks that we bailed out.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2304514 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

how do you paste a picture in your comment around here?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2304551 Western
Western's picture

If you have to ask... you can't do it. Sorry brew.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2304515 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Eactly what I thought when I saw that piece of shit on MW. Exactly.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2304520 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

That is the sign of a top

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304544 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Martin has the top out a few years.

http://www.inflateordie.com/files/Pi%2003-14-2012.pdf

 

 

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304569 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

A few YEARS? Gas .50 cents higher blows this jalopy to pieces. And thats in a few weeks tops.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:52 | 2304605 jayman21
jayman21's picture

The capital has to flow somewhere.  Happy belated PI day.

**edit** He has the US markets topping in a few years.  He has Europe going to shit in June/July of this year.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:20 | 2304723 Doomer
Doomer's picture

The goal of the banksters in the next 6 months is to 1) hand the bag to retail, 2) jack up gas prices to kill the economy, crash the market and get Obama out of office.

My money is on the banksters.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:01 | 2304866 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Hate to say it, but you may be right.  Sometimes the most obvious explanation is correct, especially when you have elliminated all the other possibilities (at great cost to the taxpayer).  I certainly bet on the devils we know at the begining of the year and am selling now.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:54 | 2305036 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Can't get Obama out of office until you have another ace in the hole "sock puppet"...

When Romney gets his delegate count, the market will tank... Happened in 2008 as well (market sold off as soon as Obama won the North Carolina primary (in May) to put him over the top in delegate count...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:52 | 2304612 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Shit this market is done this year. They can melt it up all they want but pretty soon the margin calls are coming.

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