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MarketWatch Goes Full Propaganda Retard

Tyler Durden's picture


Earlier we noted that the record lottery jackpot is nothing but a gimmick to get "the poor" to part with what little wealth they have. As it turns out, we should have also added "the stupid", something which MarketWatch has, however, figured out, and in a blatant attempt to ride on the Mega Millions histeria, and to get the the full blown stock market ponzi up and running, the WSJ sister publication is now petitioning everyone to please understand that playing the lottery and participating in a broken, fraudulent and corrupt stock market, are both one and the same: "You have to play to win." We must thank MarketWatch for implicitly pointing out that winning in the centrally planned stock ponzi scheme, in which every trade is frontrun by either a major bank or a millisecond algo, has the same 1 in 100,000,000+ odds as winning the lottery, roughly the same as coming out of Bernie Madoff Asset Management with all your cash intact.

From the MW front page.


And if anyone is wondering why the propaganda has gone full retard, the reason is simple. Recall that 10 days ago we said:

In the latest week, ICI just reported that domestic equity retail funds just saw another $2.9 billion outflow, the 4th consecutive in a row, and the 23 of out 27 outflows during the entire parabolic blow off top phase the market has undergone since October, and instead put another $9 billion in fixed income funds "soaring" yields be damned. What does this mean? Probably that the stock ramp is about to get uber-parabolic for the simple reason that this is the only thing left in the status quo's arsenal - to keep doing the same old same old, hoping for a different outcome, because this time it's different. Only this time the dumb money either doesn't have the cash to burn, or just doesn't want to participate in a rigged, corrupt, centrally-planned market.

Yup - the banks are so loaded up with toxic stocks that they have NO CHOICE but to keep the ramp accelerating higher and higher until "stupid" retail comes back in and distribution happens, leaving the retail investor holding the hollow bag again. Alas, there were no inflows this week either. Which means that just like Italian banks, the meltup could well accelerate even more from here.

Sadly, retail just doesn't care any more. And once the Primary Dealers and hedge funds realize they have all gone Wile Coyote over the cliff well... gravity ensues.

h/t Nolsgrad


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Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:31 | 2304509 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

LOLz. About right.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2304519 LuKOsro
LuKOsro's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304540 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Isn't the final stage of a bubble "delusion"?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304572 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Facebook IPO Update & Threadjacking

Facebook Admits Adverse Ruling In Lawsuits "Could have a significant impact on our business"; Revises S-1

PIC OF THE DAY; Zuckerberg Spotted In Asia Wearing Black Hoodie

REPORT: Facebook Saves Spy Agency Billions





Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:43 | 2304577 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Whatever happened to cheat to win?!?

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 00:03 | 2305691 dlmaniac
dlmaniac's picture

Refusing to play is an act of terrorism.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:21 | 2306054 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Someone once told me gambling is a tax on people that can't do math......I thought about it a bit and decided he was right.


I then went and bought some gold.....that was a really long time ago.


Sun, 04/01/2012 - 07:03 | 2307397 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

And .... like the lottery we know only a few players win (the banksters).  The rest lose.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:23 | 2306060 barroter
barroter's picture

The movie Syriana had a great line in it:

"Corruption keeps us safe and warm. Corruption, is why you and I are prancing around in here instead of fighting for scraps of meat out on the streets. why we win."

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:28 | 2304708 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture




Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:47 | 2305274 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Accidental honesty - can't afford that now. Silence that fool.

Actually on further consideration at least with lottery they don't hand your money to a croney when going bancrupt then walk away free - it seems better regulated.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:35 | 2305368 akak
akak's picture

That MarketWatch headline and story was so full-retard, I fully expected to see that the author's name underneath it was "RobotTrader".

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 01:31 | 2305821 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture



I still have an account on Market Wash since 2007. I could write a book on all the shit that went behind the scenes. Back in the day, I was a wrath of hell in connecting our end game. Yet, MW never deleted my account. Why? Because MW was able to see me assist on clamping down on insider trading rings. How did Market Wash know? They read my private emails sent from officials asking me questions.  Shortly after, the site became a parlor pinko-- <delete all member accounts>. I lost a large percentage of inner circle MW friends. 

In search of another financial site, I stumbled across Zerohedge [old blog] website. Life brings many treasures, without MW actions.. I would still be stagnated on an illusion that I knew didn’t exist. 

Keep up the good work ZH members!


Sat, 03/31/2012 - 14:49 | 2306609 Etiolated Esthete
Etiolated Esthete's picture

Somewhere a MarketWatch columnist is trying to shoehorn "Apple," "Mega Millions," "Trayvon," and "Facebook" into the same headline.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:02 | 2305309 Clown Car
Clown Car's picture

Careless whisper?

Was George Michael talking about the cash equities market and the retail investor?

I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen and all its sad goodbyes

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth, pain is that all you'll find

I should have known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now, who's gonna dance with me?
Please stay

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2304665 NEOSERF
NEOSERF's picture

What do you mean, Apple isn't going to own China and Pandora, Groupon, Zipcar, Facebook, LinkedIn and Amazon are overvalued?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304547 Western
Western's picture

"Hello Dr. Bernanke, would you like to play a game?


What a strange game, the only winning move is not to play"

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:18 | 2304671 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

The Bernank and the Morgue sure as hell don't want the retail crowd to divert their remaining wealth into phyzz either, with all the manipulation going on. Well FU Ben, my 71 year old Mom finally deep sixed her mutual fund and just picked up her first monster box because she knows your going to print billions out of thin air again real soon.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:40 | 2304787 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Can she call my parents?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:56 | 2305041 ThatGuyEhler
ThatGuyEhler's picture

Mine as well..... especially since I still live with mine.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:52 | 2305026 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Tell her to  be carefule if she goes boating. There's been a lot of accidents going around.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:54 | 2304609 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

MW is a lightweight site -- ruled by the fart-mouthed AmericanPatriot.

AmericanPatriot can lick my boots.


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:06 | 2304660 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

I haven't followed it in 2 years, he's still around? Gold hatin'?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2304878 JonNadler
JonNadler's picture

AmericanPatriot !!

Now that's a troll for you! He argued that gold would go back to 400 a few years back and he's still there. Not like my colleagues here like Travis and the money bag guy, or JonnyBravo

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 00:17 | 2307238 Marc_W
Marc_W's picture

He's still there spouting the same comments on gold reverting "to its mean historical price" of $400.

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 11:04 | 2307558 kk1532003
kk1532003's picture

you mean it's historical means of $456...


AP makes it very specific, as to somehow make it a bit more credible.

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 00:18 | 2307240 Marc_W
Marc_W's picture

American Patriot...


Hater of gold, lover of fiat, California, and BMW's.


I kind of get the sense that he might be Ben Stein.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:05 | 2304655 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture




Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2304672 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Or, as WOPR said regarding thermonuclear war: "Strange game.  The only winning move is not to play"

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2304676 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

NEVER go full retard.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:24 | 2304944 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

Just Say No.


As opposed to, "Hey thanks, man.."


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:41 | 2305279 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Kind of harsh vis a vi retards.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:15 | 2304711 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:57 | 2304855 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

I just bought another ticket at the WAWA machine and let me tell you I've never seen people so jovial and happy in a WAWA before-I guess they all think they're going to be billionaires tomorrow night.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:23 | 2304940 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

""..greetings, Professor Falken.  Would you like to play a nice game of chess?""


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:59 | 2304645 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fuck market watch. They edit comments for language and ban you. Gotta fall in line or they whoosh ya.

Bunch of bulltards cheerleading Momo stocks all day long.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2304699 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

but if enough of the sheeple believe it, then......

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:20 | 2304727 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

AND....they were paid to say it by the same banks that we bailed out.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2304514 salvadordaly
salvadordaly's picture

how do you paste a picture in your comment around here?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2304551 Western
Western's picture

If you have to ask... you can't do it. Sorry brew.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:32 | 2304515 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Eactly what I thought when I saw that piece of shit on MW. Exactly.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2304520 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

That is the sign of a top

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304544 jayman21
jayman21's picture

Martin has the top out a few years.



Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304569 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

A few YEARS? Gas .50 cents higher blows this jalopy to pieces. And thats in a few weeks tops.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:52 | 2304605 jayman21
jayman21's picture

The capital has to flow somewhere.  Happy belated PI day.

**edit** He has the US markets topping in a few years.  He has Europe going to shit in June/July of this year.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:20 | 2304723 Doomer
Doomer's picture

The goal of the banksters in the next 6 months is to 1) hand the bag to retail, 2) jack up gas prices to kill the economy, crash the market and get Obama out of office.

My money is on the banksters.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:01 | 2304866 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Hate to say it, but you may be right.  Sometimes the most obvious explanation is correct, especially when you have elliminated all the other possibilities (at great cost to the taxpayer).  I certainly bet on the devils we know at the begining of the year and am selling now.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:54 | 2305036 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Can't get Obama out of office until you have another ace in the hole "sock puppet"...

When Romney gets his delegate count, the market will tank... Happened in 2008 as well (market sold off as soon as Obama won the North Carolina primary (in May) to put him over the top in delegate count...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:52 | 2304612 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Shit this market is done this year. They can melt it up all they want but pretty soon the margin calls are coming.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:02 | 2304865 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

Martin definitely has done some very interesting work.  But the difference between then and now is the debt saturation.  I think that speeds up either deflationary depression or hypinflationary collapse, or some combo of both as TPTB scramble to protect their (stolen) bounty during and after the RESET.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:33 | 2304521 jayman21
jayman21's picture

I think I just saw a smile from Edward Bernays...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2304522 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Fool me three times shame on the politicians. Fool me four times shame on the banks. Fool me five times shame on Iran. Fool me....

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2304525 MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

More of the Friday Follies!  Have another drink, before you get a lottery ticket, sucker.

/No Sarc

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:38 | 2304781 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I'm hoping to find the winning lottery ticket, rather than buy it. I figure the odds of winning aren't much different either way.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:44 | 2305166 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Me too. And I live in Utah. 


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2304526 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

Where are all the muppets when you need them?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304543 theMAXILOPEZpsycho
theMAXILOPEZpsycho's picture

All in on appl as of today...riding this baby into the 4 figures

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:58 | 2304642 IEVI
IEVI's picture

The parasites have f'ed up...they've killed their hosts.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:26 | 2305105 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

that really is all lloyd doesn't understand.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:34 | 2304527 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

I'll buy when the next crash happens. Meh.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:44 | 2304584 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Lets see, no one would buy at DOW 8,000, 9,000, 10,000, 11 or 12,000... but 13,300 and DAMN now all the retail will PILE IN surely!!

Yea I MIGHT buy stocks again if we go -45% lower from these stupid levels. Maybe.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:49 | 2304602 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Sheep I have never heard you sound so bullish

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:53 | 2304617 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

I MIGHT only buy if this crap fell -50% from here, JUST for the dead cat bounce then I'd be right out again! Then I'd only do that if I had been drinking heavily.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:35 | 2304530 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304537 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Wax on, wax off...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2304563 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Pwinta-onnn, Pwinta-off.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:00 | 2305055 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

Wow, those are some serious eye-brows.  Those eye-brows could kick someone's ass.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:48 | 2305180 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

LOL the "No Buy Tickey" guy looks like Bernake in costume if you squint a little.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 00:29 | 2305745 ruffles
ruffles's picture

well I'll be damned...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304533 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

"Step right up ladies and gents, I have here a most remarkable elixir......"

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2304557 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

"Everyone's a winner! Bargains galore!"

Tom Waits

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:44 | 2304585 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, He'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman. You ever see her?"
- Cousin Eddie

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:36 | 2304535 BlackMagician
BlackMagician's picture
A fool and his money are soon parted...
Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:41 | 2304564 Misean
Misean's picture

A fool and his money is some part-ay!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304536 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

Obvious shill is obvious.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304539 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

If everyone buys as it rallies, who do they plan on selling to in order to collect those "massive" paper profits

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2304554 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Indeed, who the hell do they imagine theyll be selling to higher on a zero volume FED melt up? I wouldnt want any of these stocks if they were handing them out for free!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304541 BrokeDayTrader
BrokeDayTrader's picture

Damn month end markup again as fund managers are throwing every red cent remaining in their accounts into stocks

WTF  are the investigations by the SEC?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:43 | 2304580 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

The SEC is part of the government, BrokeDayTrader. And, as the right-wing wanted, as a part of the government, it became run more like a business.

Hasn't that worked out great?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:47 | 2304813 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I marked you with a down arrow as you acutally believe there is a difference between the left side and the ride side of the political nostril.  You can pick a booger out of both sides quite regularly.  Just dig in to see.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:45 | 2305285 i-dog
i-dog's picture

I junked you for suggesting that a bunch of overpaid porn-surfers sucking on the taxpayer teat are in any way whatsoever "run more like a business". Fucking retard!

The "business" of government is theft and cover-up.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:37 | 2304542 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

LMAO even I cant believe the complete depravity of these stock market pirates! Whats next, 'If you buy a stock today, you get a number for a drawing for a free prize to be given away every 10 minutes during market hours'!


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:04 | 2304877 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Nah, I'll bet your going to start seeing the sob stories and puppy eyes on CNBC of the poor traders with 8 kids and a mortgage being laid off, the roach coach driver parked outside Wall Street moaning about the lack of sales and the business apparel shop singing the blues...all because the retail investers no longer buys stocks anymore. If only fellow Americans, patriotic caring Americans, would just buy only a few stocks (start violin track), these jobs could be saved.

CNBC then bills the Morgue for the entire sob story.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:38 | 2304545 babylon15
babylon15's picture

I have predicted the winner and it is Jon Corzine.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:44 | 2304567 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Thanks for the inside tip - what's his ticker?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:53 | 2304619 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

I/m guessing-SHT.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:15 | 2304709 Tuco Benedicto ...
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

He no longer has one.  Dick Cheney has it!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:55 | 2305039 Au_Ag_CuPbCu
Au_Ag_CuPbCu's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:49 | 2305183 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:41 | 2304548 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Wow.  Such completely overt cheerleading.  Ominous.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:39 | 2304553 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture







Every single mainstream media outlet cheeleads and carries the water for the equity markets. Each of these outlets wants stocks to rise, no matter their "political" leanings.

Because - in the end, whether they are "Republican" or "Democrat" - all of these media outlets share one common thread:

They are businesses, and rising equity prices are good for business.

The corporate state marches on, all the while successfully convincing Idiot Amerikkkans that what we have under Obama and Chairman Ben is "socialism" or "communism".

Pointless commentary over.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:49 | 2304604 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

check this special on the media

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2304556 Wixard
Wixard's picture

Yep i ranted on my blog earlier hehe

Anywhere you look it's lottery mania, "Record jackpot", "half a billion dollars". Right now there are tens of millions of people in America suffering under the burden of poverty thrown on them by a system of quasi capitalism (some would say croni) that only benefits the sludge that's risen to the surface.

There's no bailout for Average Joe, lowering his head and swiping a SNAP card. 

Yet here is the news, promising them riches if only they buy a couple tickets for the chance.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2304588 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Truth is, we're all lobsters boiling in the pot.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:52 | 2305295 i-dog
i-dog's picture

The lottery is a "tax on stupidity". So is the current stock market.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:40 | 2304562 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Clarke & Dawe

Clarke and Dawe - The History of Circuses (2:21)

Clarke and Dawe - The Age of Reason (2:39)

Clarke and Dawe - Breaking News Stories, As They Actually Happen (2:27)

Clarke and Dawe - A Star is Born (2:34)

Clarke and Dawe - Political Power, A User's Manual (2:35)

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:41 | 2304565 rebelscum1967
rebelscum1967's picture

waiting for the big ramp up to close...AAPL wobbly today they are really desperate to pawn that off on the sheeple.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 11:43 | 2306252 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

As soon as they offload Facebook, I think the fun starts.

If they can keep it blown up that long.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304568 efiniti
efiniti's picture

Everybody knows you never go full retard

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:42 | 2304570 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why the MSM has zero credibility.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:43 | 2304581 Misean
Misean's picture

At least with lottery tickets, you actually get a certificate...just sayin...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:43 | 2304582 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Tyler you guys are SO spot-on.  I thought the same exact thing when I saw this on MW earlier today.  MW is worse than Cramer.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:06 | 2304661 SDRII
SDRII's picture

market watch owned by cbs. loko up sumner redstone; biggest shill on earth. Les moonves? mel karmazin? couldnt collect a bigger bumnch of d-bags

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 06:29 | 2305976 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

"sumner redstone"


It was always tough, but today we are in the throes of something we have never seen in our history. It's clear in recent times the market is looking for a bottom. - Sumner Redstone


And Sumner's the 'top'


When people like this are the 'heavyweights' and the 'moguls' you know your society is fucked.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:44 | 2304583 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

You have to Play to Lose!!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2304586 BanjoDoug
BanjoDoug's picture

I must respectfully disagree with the many that see the markets as a better place to make money, verses the lotto.....     I feel that the lotto probably has better odds than the general stock/bond markets.... and the downside risks are no more than the price of a ticket verses a huge portfolio balance......    I thru in my 10 bucks to the local pool yesterday just in case we have a winning ticket, oh yawn .....    


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:59 | 2304644 LuKOsro
LuKOsro's picture

I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2304592 BrokeDayTrader
BrokeDayTrader's picture

I'm short big the glam stocks:  AAPL, GOOG, PCLN

That's gonna be my lottery ticket payoff this year

Can't wait until 250 hedgies decide to sneak out the back door on these overpriced POS names

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:55 | 2304626 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'd say AAPL is just about toast as far as momentum goes. Next quarter is going to be interesting.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:45 | 2304593 Sean7k
Sean7k's picture

Listen up people! 

The banks have used all their capital in a low volume melt up, desperately trying to get you onboard. They have received help from Ben and others by destroying the bond market. They have successfully managed the precious metal markets. Thus, you have no other options, but to buy stocks. We are waiting for your greed to overwhelm your caution. We have the media on a full court press.

Unfortunately, before we sell the top and call in capital to crash the market, so we can transfer all your wealth, we need your participation. Otherwise, we have to continue to print, so we can maintain the status quo, but we are losing patience. Don't make us start a global war!!!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:08 | 2304892 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Start one, I double dog dare you.  Possession is already the law, what the hell, let's find out precisely what the value of everyone's labor really is.  Let's get physical.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:50 | 2304594 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

PLEASE retail come BUY these stocks from us! Hell its BETTER than the Power Ball! EZ Riches, bitches!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:49 | 2304597 Zola
Zola's picture

What a nice little tune the Wurlitzer is playing... Crash in 5,4,3,2...As you would say in GO , this formation is DEAD yet the idiots havent figured it out and keep adding stones...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:49 | 2304603 q99x2
q99x2's picture

S&P 1408.15 +4.87

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:50 | 2304606 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

Like the lottery the tickets are worth face value before the numbers are called.  After the call almost all are worthless.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:11 | 2304898 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Think about guys, with the payout now over 600 millon you could buy all the possible number combinations ~325 million and still make money when you won.  It takes money to make money after all.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:34 | 2305130 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

LawsofPhysics said:

Think about guys, with the payout now over 600 millon you could buy all the possible number combinations ~325 million and still make money when you won.

...unless the guy in Centerville trailer park and the family living in their car in Scottsdale each come up with the winning number as well.

It takes money to make money after all.

How true that is. Besides, if you spent 325 million on lottery tickets and still lost money because you had to split the winnings, Timmah Jeethner and the Bernank would arrange a bailout for you.


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 19:53 | 2305299 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

Thats before the taxes.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:52 | 2304611 Silveramada
Silveramada's picture

saw it on MW : disturbing propaganda shit, makes u almost wish the SHTF moment will be sooner...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:54 | 2304624 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Well, if your balloon has a hole you just have to blow harder...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2304667 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

That's what she said.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:36 | 2305142 Phil Free
Phil Free's picture

But but but ... ALL balloons have at least one hole.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:33 | 2306069 barroter
barroter's picture

sounds like a Buddhist saying...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:56 | 2304631 bahaar
bahaar's picture

I thought retail's all in.  No retail except poor loser me on the sideline???

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 15:58 | 2304638 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

the lottery is just another way to tax you and make you like it.


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:03 | 2304870 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Don't forget the "excitement" of waiting a few days for the lottery draw to see if you won. And when you don't win that day simply rinse, repeat. What's not to like?

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:01 | 2304649 ObungaBoy
ObungaBoy's picture

MW is a site for disinformation owned by jewish cheaters - the only purpose of this site is to help to the Wall Street jewish gang to rob America

The message board of the MW is more manipulative than the Cosco customer feedback board – Jewish team of moderators delete everything which contradict to their jewish  inferiority complex and to the Wall Street propaganda line

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:17 | 2304716 putbuyer
putbuyer's picture

I'm not Jewish, but your childish ignorant rant is stupid. Go to Media Matters to spew your shit ahole.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:40 | 2304786 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Media Matters?

The Soros (Hungarian Jew) mouthpiece? Hahaha... You are funny.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2304881 TiredofIgnorance
TiredofIgnorance's picture

You are in need of Seroquel.


See you physican real soon.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:02 | 2304650 mind_imminst
mind_imminst's picture

I wish the Wile Coyote analogy was true. I would love to see the counterfiting TBTF banks fall back to earth. Unfortnately they are not going over a cliff, they are walking the plank, held up by the central banks and US government. As long as CBs and Obama support them, they have nothing to worry about. S&P to the moon!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:04 | 2304654 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

On the positive side, Market Watch is the reason to be reading ZH full time...

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 18:47 | 2305178 WAMO556
WAMO556's picture

I agree. When it comes to actually getting a "slap your momma" assessment of the financials - this be the place.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:07 | 2304662 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'The banks are so loaded with toxic stocks that they have NO CHOICE but to keep the ramp going until stupid retail comes back in and they can distribute'...

Huh, seems I got this right over 2 years ago, theyll hold the biggest rally ever to get retail back in, and it will NEVER happen, because retail is dead broke!

Go ahead, pump it to 15,000, see if retail pays more than they wont pay now, IDIOTS!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:31 | 2304759 Conax
Conax's picture

+1 for the dead broke.

I had a comment to post but yours states it better anyway.

Let us drink to the future video of bankers splattering like the turkeys on WKRP.

Sat, 03/31/2012 - 00:42 | 2305768 surfer433
surfer433's picture

I thought bankers could fly.


Sat, 03/31/2012 - 08:35 | 2306071 barroter
barroter's picture

they "float" due to the enormous amounts of gas inside them...


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2304664 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Obviously this answers the "how stupid do they think we are" question.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 20:02 | 2305310 i-dog
i-dog's picture


Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:11 | 2304682 luna_man
luna_man's picture



Yeah!...But, I still want to believe in "santa claus"!...Nothing but good dreams all week!!

Escape, from the ever present reality, of CRIMINALS!...ONLY FIAT!!

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:12 | 2304692 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Great post. Really sums it up nicely.

They're giving investors the option to play it all on double zero for a shot 1 in 38 shot of not retiring in poverty. And you just know the one who wins will be publicized and championed in every possible way, as if to say, "see he did it, you can too".

It’s kind of like giving a woman the option of getting raped or beaten.

And when nobody falls for this obvious brutality there’s always the high ground approach; “the lottery pays for education, it’s good for the children”.   



Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2304696 rabbitusvomitus
rabbitusvomitus's picture

Mother F'rs! Play to Win! Yeah, so bust your ass at a dead end (or dying) job, scrimp and save to pay the bills...and.. then take the extra 50 cents and "play" in the stock market so our stockbroker and investment bank friends can pump it then dump their shares... welcome back "retail investor" you've (your money that is) been missed! (Suckers!)

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:14 | 2304701 nufio
nufio's picture

if retail money is staying out of the market, maybe they will bubble up the stocks some more to entice the sheep.. maybe its a good time to ride the wave up before retail money flows in.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:25 | 2304745 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Seriously. Just play craps.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:50 | 2304754 TiredofIgnorance
TiredofIgnorance's picture

"Mother-Watch" has turned into an INSANE asylum of Trolls, Klones and Liberal "Blame Monsters" that nearly 50 of us have left and started our own PRIVATE BLOG, "Marketwatchsux" at WordPress.


The writers (certainly NOT Journalists) are doing anything possible to carry the Obama Administratrions water at ALL COSTS.  The TRUTH be DAMNED.


Darrell Delamaide, Thomas "The World's Eco problems are America's Guilt Trip" Kostigen, Senior Editor David "I'll morph a parking ticket into a gun control argument" Callaway and others have reduced the credibility of Marketwatch by a geometric progression.


At least Rex Nutting makes a legitimate argument to support his Leftist positions.


They have "auto-refresh pages" (increasing their web traffic for advertisers) and are desperate to glean anything they can. Take an UNSUPPORTABLE position just to rile people into respondng, and, VIOLA !!.  WEB traffic.  MW is now in the class of any leftist BLOG, aka, "The Jokington Post".


The Site is constantly under "suppression" and censorship for simple, innane, innocuous comments, asking someone (i.e;  a Monnbat poster) to SUPPORT their POSITION with FACTS.  Oooops.  Sorry.  Deleted comments, deleted accounts.


Marketwatch SUCKS.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:36 | 2304772 Golden monkey
Golden monkey's picture

"Win? Yes we con!" - Your local primary fucker err dealer.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:39 | 2304782 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Well they got me pumped to buy 3 tickets.  What would I do with the Money?  Well, I guess I would pay off everyone in the immediate familys debt.  Set up Money for Grandchildrens education.  After that I do not think I would change my lifestyle that much.  I might consider opening a Homeless Shelter with the remaining Money.    Would also love to buy a Farm and take in Shelter Animals so they would not be killed. Caring for the Animals would keep me happy for the rest of my days.

Fri, 03/30/2012 - 16:42 | 2304797 Tim White
Tim White's picture

That last part is exactly what I'd do...

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!