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"Material Banknote Order Reinstated"

Tyler Durden's picture


Another hint?

VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA--(Marketwire - June 7, 2012) - Fortress Paper Ltd. ("Fortress Paper" or the "Corporation") (TSX:FTP), announces that its wholly-owned subsidiary, Landqart AG, a leading manufacturer of banknote and security papers, has had a material banknote order reinstated. This order was unexpectedly suspended in the fourth quarter of 2011 which negatively impacted the financial results of Landqart's operations in the first half of 2012.


Chadwick Wasilenkoff, Chairman, Chief Executive Officer and President of Fortress Paper, commented, "The recommencement of this previously delayed order will provide Landqart with momentum to realize additional orders and maximize operating efficiencies. This important order allows Landqart to better optimize the overall mill and should provide a meaningful contribution to its margins compared to recent quarters."


About Fortress Paper 


Fortress Paper operates internationally in three distinct business  segments: dissolving pulp, specialty papers and security paper products.  The Company operates its dissolving pulp business at the Fortress  Specialty Cellulose Mill located in Canada which is also in the process  of expanding into the renewable energy generation sector with the  construction of a cogeneration facility. The Company operates its  specialty papers business at the Dresden Mill located in Germany, where  it is a leading international producer of specialty non-woven wallpaper  base products. The Company operates its security paper products business  at the Landqart Mill located in Switzerland, where it produces  banknote, passport, visa and other brand protection and security papers,  and at its Fortress Optical Facility located in Canada, where it  manufacturers optically variable thin film material.

Well, if the chart of De La Rue is any indication of how banknote printers respond to potential European disintegration, it just may be that the best hedge to a VIX soaring to 80, aka "disorderly Grexit" as explained earlier by Citi, just may be TSX:FTP.

In the meantime, here is the swiss-security-paper complex of Lanqart:


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Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:02 | 2507765 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:05 | 2507774 eurusdog
eurusdog's picture

Quilted for your comfort. They are hope you won't notice that your ass is bleeding!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:07 | 2507787 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

New post-euro pesetas coming to your wallet!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:10 | 2507801 achmachat
achmachat's picture

it says that the order was suspended in the fouth quarter of 2011.

The rumors about new bankotes during that time were the new Deutschmarks!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:13 | 2507813 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

That would make sense as the easiest way out of the Euro is for Germany to leave and then the remaining Euro participants can Ctrl-P to infinity.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:21 | 2507847 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Roll out the barrow...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:33 | 2507899 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Save the trees!

Save the ancient, old growth, pristine rain forest.

Where are the environmental whackos when you really need them.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:37 | 2507910 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture



LandQart Notes.

Now 30% lighter - Less LandQart for your handcart.

Now made from 99% post-consumer content - We care so you don't have to.

LandQart's Deutchmark: The Choice of a New Generation (TM)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:41 | 2507940 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

To conclusively prove that the germans have a sense of  humor, the paper will be extra rough, to teach the Greeks why wiping with Euros is better than with Dreckmas.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:46 | 2508402 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

If we're gonna wipe with it, at least make it count by putting new faces on the bills. Start with Obama, Rumproy, Erkel, Stirkrazy, etc. Add in a Buffaloso, Geethner, and a Berspankme or two for shits and giggles...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:58 | 2508454 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


Doubt it's the new, new Deutsche mark.  Germany would keep that printing at home.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:05 | 2508499 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

It's the new dollar, with Banana Ben's face!

Worth One Trillion Dollars!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:23 | 2508806 resurger
resurger's picture

"Dump it All"

A. Hitler

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:58 | 2508916 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Nah, it was just invitations for the Queen's Jubilee that were cancelled in the name of going green.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 23:22 | 2509558 markmotive
Fri, 06/08/2012 - 23:39 | 2509578 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

unlike America, which only, usually fucks far away places, so the blowback is not felt locally (except MeheeKo, but you need those immigrantes), Germany does not have that luxury.

And will they suddenly collpase the relaxed Visa rules too? How? 

There is no uni-lateral solution to the Euro Crisis. And the olympics MUST happen.

So, all this is white-noise. Grist for the  mill.


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:02 | 2508482 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:49 | 2508888 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:37 | 2507926 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Yes, save the trees.

We could trade with sea shells... or something...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:12 | 2508056 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I guess there are a few anti-environment, pro-paper types out there..

or maybe Heidelberg equity owners.

Without sound national economic management and a gold backed currency, a lot of poor trees will fall.

And what are the odds of that in Greece?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:21 | 2508100 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Hemp is often used instead of wood pulp.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:48 | 2508144 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Money grows on trees Bitchez! Oh and ty Benny Heli, got in this morning on a nice little order 4 tomorrow with the local dealer, Silver Britannias and a nice "Young Victoria" "Shield" FOR PEANUTZ, its a love hate relationship and with that FUCK YOU! I stand by yesterdays 1600 dollar by the close as his words mean JACK!

Edit: Plata gonna shatter this monetary matter! 

Double Edit: With Gold and the Dollar both in the "Green" again thats a double FUCK YOU BERNANKE! 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:01 | 2508267 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture


You're right !

Forget investing in ink. The amount of printing needed will require FORESTS!!

Buy Boise-Cascade.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:17 | 2508305 Manthong
Manthong's picture

“Hemp is often used instead of wood pulp.”

Hmm.. I’ve heard it said that printing fiat is a way to take paper and ink produce something that worth less than either.

Hemp could provide a way of changing that little fact..

a new meaning to have your savings go up in smoke.

Now what could you put in the ink?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:44 | 2508409 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Tender Helping Care in every batch. Plenty Of That to go around...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 21:56 | 2509454 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Now you're smoking Drachmas!

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 02:30 | 2509737 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

They have  perfected the new time release ink.  Every 3 weeks another zero appears on the notes. 

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:53 | 2508240 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

You use hemp with linen to make the notes last longer. If the stuff is viewed as disposable, you can just use whatever paper you got lying around ...

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:17 | 2509888 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Exactly. Drachmas will be printed on old newspaper, on one side only to save ink.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 01:39 | 2509699 JeffB
JeffB's picture

How fitting. Up in smoke.


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:35 | 2508163 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Not sure how growing trees and storing carbon in paper format while planting more trees to keep the cycle going is "anti-environment"...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:50 | 2508434 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

Save a tree. Buy silver.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:52 | 2508691 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

manthong, yes, greece cut theirs years ago for the battle of marathon, this shall be ours.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:26 | 2508050 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

"Where are the environmental whackos...?"

Why they are behind the controls of their "Super Axe Hackers" felling four old growth Trufula trees with one smacker; four times as fast as before if you please, and viciously sodomizing the Lorax with a sickening smack on his knees, which simply everyone everyone Everyone needs! You dirty old Once-ler man you.


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:12 | 2508257 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

tough audience, huh?

i didn't vote.  yet

if you get too many greens, i may hafta vote you down ...  L0L!!!

i'm tempted to do a dialogue which begins: 

herrow!  this is fowtwessPapew...  

(slewie takes phone):  madonna who?...  oh, her!  she wants to cash out now and run away with kyleBass?  fuking oprah!  at least we faded her and bought the futures

sure, the first half is already done;  we'll ship it monday and the rest in two weeks

of course american money!  whaddya kidding me...?  you know to whom you are speaking?  you just tell my materialGirlfriend the material0rder is in the mail, ok?  and g'BYE!

...   ...   ...   ...   ...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:26 | 2508350 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Don't take any wooden nickles...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:00 | 2508472 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i have many more wooden nickels than euros or swiss francs

it's dollars, BiCheZ! 

take it to the fuking bank, sawyer, you wooden-headed...   you're not tryiong to ride this out with the rupee Rya?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:11 | 2508769 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Nope ~ ridin it out with 75% Cu 25% Ni ('46-'12) Jeffs...

Whatz a ruPEE?... A hot water bottle lookin thang that makes a farting sound if you sit on it?... We'd better conzult the ORI of delpi on dat...

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:46 | 2509916 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Thew USG does not use foreign printers. All dollar notes are made by the BEP itself on 14th street in Washington DC, and one satellite location.


This banknote order could be Euros. The ECB, or one of the NCB's could be preparing for a BANK RUN.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 09:24 | 2509993 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Hey, maybe they're gonna print the New World Currency.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:53 | 2508438 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

Huh? Neither of you two make any sense ...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:08 | 2508515 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

here, you fuking asswipe!  stick with tyler's brand of friday afternoon humor if you prefer something to make sense: 

Well, if the chart of De La Rue is any indication of how banknote printers respond to potential European disintegration, it just may be that the best hedge to a VIX soaring to 80, aka "disorderly Grexit" as explained earlier by Citi, just may be TSX:FTP.

In the meantime, here is the swiss-security-paper complex of LanqartUfukingMORON!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:51 | 2508897 potlatch
potlatch's picture

I'm here, what you need punk?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 23:55 | 2509604 MeetTozter
MeetTozter's picture

The pulp plant is in Canada - the boreal forest is being stripped to get at the shale.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:00 | 2509879 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

the composition of most notes is 75% cotton, and 25% linen. No tree involved.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:34 | 2507904 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

I doubt that the Greeks would be buying 100% "rag" paper from a German company. An average "run" of specialized paper at a papermill is 100,000 lbs at a minimum. Looks like Deutchmarks to me.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:35 | 2507913 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

So they'd need two runs of paper to print enough Drachs to buy one?

sounds good...

Can't they use wooden beads or something? That must be cheaper...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:04 | 2508021 Thisson
Thisson's picture

Let's look at the pros and cons of your suggestion.

Con: Harder to wipe with wooden beads then paper

Pro: Reusable!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 22:36 | 2509498 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

Corn cobs - the original fiat.   It's old-school though.   You can only grow so many cobs per year, which needlessly limits the inflation rate.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:19 | 2509891 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Drachmas would be printed on something much cheaper, like old newspaper.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:35 | 2507915 resurger
resurger's picture

Shalom All,

We rolled the dice and got "Snake Eyes"


Ben B / Turbo G

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 23:46 | 2509590 Oh regional Indian
Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:34 | 2508154 oldgasII
oldgasII's picture

Long on shovels and mason jars?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 20:47 | 2509349 max2205
max2205's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:41 | 2508198 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

"Roll out the borrow..." 

There, fixed it.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:39 | 2508395 youngman
youngman's picture

Wheel have a barrow of fun...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:23 | 2507853 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture
Israeli Govt: Don't Marry American Jews


True colors are Israli Ministry of Immimgrant Absorption

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:26 | 2508124 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

All this means is that they don't want to be infected with Obama supporters...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 21:16 | 2509398 long-shorty
long-shorty's picture

These ads are right, in so far as many American Jews have the good sense to know that the Israeli goverment doesn't represent their interests.

As for the American Jews who haven't yet figured that out, hey, we have our share of American fundamentalist Christians and even some American fundamentalist Muslims, too, most of whom see nothing wrong with the idea of a government constructed solely of, and making rules based on the religious laws of, God's chosen people. It just happens that they don't agree on who the chosen people are.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 04:08 | 2509807 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

They don't want any divided loyalties when TSHTF.  They are worried another Holocaust might be coming after the collapse, when the truth about 9/11, the banking system, and Israel's plans for their #1 puppet state will become widely known.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:01 | 2508266 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

Absolutely. When no one will pledge their gold, which most likely requires relocation to Berlin, the Germans will bolt and leave the steaming pile of debt behind. Form a Northern Europe alliance, with Russia and China, and all is good.

Recap their banks with new Deutschmarks, and they'll be the only Euro country with an AAA rating. Then Ben will be forced to recap everyone left behind, and the Germans will have won WW III without a shot.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 13:05 | 2510322 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



Form a Northern Europe alliance, with Russia and China, and all is good.

Yes, correct.  Thanks for seeing it.

But I doubt WWIII will be won without a shot.  America's leaders will go crazy when their USD ponzi scheme finally collapses (after 50 years looting the rest of the world with it).  They'll threaten all out nuclear attack on the asian alliance countries for destroying their USD ponzi scheme, but the asian alliance countries will call their bluff and (gladly) push the buttons ...and they have lots more buttons to push than we do.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:04 | 2508275 ATM
ATM's picture

If Germany leaves then all of their debt they own from the rest of the Eurozone will still be repaid in Euros. Handing the rest of profligate Europe the keys to the printing press doesn't help them. Kicking the rest of Europe out of the Euro doesn't help them.

Everyone needs to face the facts - debt is worthless with no collateral and there is no collateral! No one is getting repaid because there is nothing to repay with other than little worthless chits of paper.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:53 | 2508886 Debt-Is-Not-Money
Debt-Is-Not-Money's picture

"debt is worthless with no collateral"

"Now, I didn't mean to be nosy
 But I went into a bank
 To get some bail for Arab
 And all the boys back in the tank
 They asked me for some collateral
 And I pulled down my pants

 They threw me in the alley..."

Bob Dylan's 115th dream


Sat, 06/09/2012 - 08:22 | 2509952 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Let's set up a fort

and start buying a place with beads.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 09:27 | 2509998 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Dylan was great.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:14 | 2508780 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

thank you ZH

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 21:43 | 2509438 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

interesting,  and all the rest will be weimarized and payoff their debt in euros

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:15 | 2507818 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

As was the Greek re-introduction of the Drachma, no?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:18 | 2507830 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

There were stories about both.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:33 | 2507906 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I believe the Amero and silver backed peso was earlier than that.  Paper folly for paper fools.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:34 | 2507909 malek
malek's picture

Don't the Germans have their own printing presses?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:42 | 2507936 achmachat
achmachat's picture

yes, the Bundesdruckerei in Berlin... interesting bit is that they also printed some of the "Y" coded greek Euros....

edit: they actually have two! another one in Munich.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:10 | 2508055 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Germans would pick up the tab for the new drachmas. The Greeks can't afford their own paper and the Germans don't want to further em-bare-ass them by using German presses.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:50 | 2508229 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Good guess, but it could be something entirely unexpected.


Either way, this can't be good.

I'll celebrate by buying 100 shares of that EU-related short ETF.


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:37 | 2508627 Unholy Dalliance
Unholy Dalliance's picture

But weren't there also rumours before that to the effect that DM notes were already in existence and being kept in a secret location? I can't quite remember where – was it Aachen? That would make sense as it is the ancient capital of the holy Roman Empire.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 20:36 | 2509325 moonshadow
moonshadow's picture

so...what medium of exchange does this company insist that they get paid for their services with? gold? silver? food? land? oil?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:08 | 2507789 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Certificates for shares of GLD...?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:46 | 2507946 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Wrong mill.  The GLD certificates are printed by Post-It, on yellow 2x2 tabs.

Perhaps Banzia, hedge, or Cog can post a pic of one of them.



Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:10 | 2507802 SilverTree
SilverTree's picture

Don't squeeze the banknotes!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:18 | 2507832 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



+1  I wonder what % of ZHers have no idea what that reference is...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:25 | 2507863 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

... or what % won't admit it.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:30 | 2507897 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

that would be 99%

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:31 | 2507900 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Same goes for your moniker.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:29 | 2507888 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Ahh yes, good old Mr. Whipple.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:44 | 2507950 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

I wonder what % of ZHers have no idea what that reference is...

Please enlighten us, unless you want to play smartass.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:00 | 2508006 ALANBEEKMAN

Remember Mr. Whipple in ecstacy as he squeezes the 'Charmin' toilet paper?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 18:45 | 2509069 AGuy
AGuy's picture

And Mister Whipple's stock boy now has his own TV show:


Sat, 06/09/2012 - 09:29 | 2510001 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Yeah, it's kinda creepy when you think about it.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:06 | 2508035 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

He's doing it for the LULZ.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:15 | 2508078 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

You owe me interest on my LULZ, bruv and I dont forgive.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:31 | 2508141 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I'm not aware of signing any such contract.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:47 | 2508219 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

You should have read the small print. Replying to my posts implies your agreement to the contract :)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:34 | 2508155 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

Please enlighten us,


You're kidding, right?  It was just a remark about the age distribution here.  The "don't squeeze the Charmin" commercials are 30+ years old.  Back when one had to stand up to change the channel on the tele. 

Just a little hat-tip to us geezers born before 1980.  Didn't realize it would spawn a xanax-withdrawal fit.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:38 | 2508182 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

They hate us because we had better TV back then. Hell, people smoked live on TV and Dean Martin came on live camera drunk off his ass.

[ahem] well that's what they tell me. I was not even born yet. [coff]

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 00:52 | 2509658 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i always figured you for a very young cougar...

Dean Martin-Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:49 | 2508224 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



1) No innuendo in that gem.  /sarc

2) Chick was in Harry Potter, methinks.

3) What was this post about again....?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:57 | 2508447 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

And the TVs had a little door in front..

One opened it and found a control marked 'Brightness'..

Didn't help though..

Same stupid sh*t..

Bye y'all..

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:51 | 2508226 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

You're kidding, right?  It was just a remark about the age distribution here.  The "don't squeeze the Charmin" commercials are 30+ years old.  Back when one had to stand up to change the channel on the tele. 

Just a little hat-tip to us geezers born before 1980.  Didn't realize it would spawn a xanax-withdrawal fit.

Not all of us here are "US citizens" even if born before 1980.

This is why I agree with AnAnonymous; US citizens nature is eternal ... (Say that in Chinese accent and its well funny!)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:52 | 2508236 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



I'm not a US citizen.  As Barney would say, "imagine that!"

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:10 | 2508289 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture


Okay ... did a google :)

I'm not a US citizen.

Ok then, tell us why do you hate Americans?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:27 | 2508354 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



When did I say I hate Americans?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:21 | 2508563 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Is it because of their freedoms?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:24 | 2508586 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



When did I say I hate Americans?

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 06:24 | 2509863 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Well ... US citizens always say "they hate us" but never specified who they were, so I just asked.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:05 | 2508504 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

" I want my Maypo".


 how far back can you go.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:17 | 2508555 delacroix
delacroix's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:46 | 2508584 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



How's about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Great cola taste, just one calorie...Tab!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 18:41 | 2509062 takinthehighway
takinthehighway's picture

Here's one you probably haven't seen - the Flintstones smoking cigarettes!

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 02:49 | 2509754 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Betty Rubble's hot!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:51 | 2507981 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

If we squeeze the bank notes it won't be charming.

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:56 | 2509924 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Charmin is too expensive and soft for banknotes. Old newspaper is more suitable for Drachmas. This banknote order is no big deal. They are probably just printing up more Euros so there will be cash on hand for the Spanish Bank Run.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:21 | 2508105 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I remember Mr. Whipple. And Mr. Peabody with his boy Sherman, too. Does that mean I'm old?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:46 | 2508211 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



That depends on whether you watched it on UHF or YouTube.  (And whether you've stopped watching it).


Sat, 06/09/2012 - 01:28 | 2509690 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

The real secret is, Uncle Slaver is the buyer. Surprise, Bitchez!!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:11 | 2507791 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

4 out 5 Feds recommend "Ass Floss" by Ponzi

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:28 | 2507881 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

......... But thats not all, act right now and get a free QE Countdown calender

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:30 | 2507892 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

He said "Ass Floss"


That's what Benny and Timmay call it when they hook up

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:33 | 2507905 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Ouch..... that visual hurts

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:57 | 2508912 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

OUCH, indeed!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:11 | 2507808 Roland99
Roland99's picture

helps with the CHaFing

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:54 | 2507989 Cyrano de Bivouac
Cyrano de Bivouac's picture


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 17:49 | 2508889 Zaydac
Sat, 06/09/2012 - 09:43 | 2510013 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

will the new ones be rare enough to consider them "Collectors Items"?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:04 | 2507770 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

In the Fed basement, little ben cries...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:58 | 2507999 JR
JR's picture

Are you telling me Ben can’t do it? (You’d think our banknotes would be printed in China, wouldn’t you?)

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:01 | 2508476 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

New design coming...

'IN GOD WE TRUST' to be replaced with:


Sat, 06/09/2012 - 02:53 | 2509760 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

They are printed in China - Iran and North Korea also.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:06 | 2507775 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Where can I place an order with FTP? I'm ready to pay them 10% of the proceeds.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:06 | 2507776 Roland99
Roland99's picture

The race to the bottom is more exciting than the Triple Crown

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:47 | 2507965 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The Triple Crown just got a lot less exciting. I'll Have Another is out.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:50 | 2507977 Roland99
Roland99's picture

In that case, I'll have another!

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 15:09 | 2508287 brooklynlou
brooklynlou's picture

... and slower than a constipated shit.


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:06 | 2507777 achmachat
achmachat's picture

that's a printing press in Switzerland!

do they print Drachmas?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:08 | 2507792 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

The order came from Madrid.  Pesetas.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:25 | 2507864 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

...will provide Landqart with momentum to realize additional orders ....

Nicely said.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:39 | 2507937 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

drachma, patataz, francs, francs, lira, kroner, ...

Sat, 06/09/2012 - 07:59 | 2509926 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

Trillions of Euros for the Bank Runs to come.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:17 | 2508191 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

They were probably laughing their asses off when they penned that.

I swear to God, it's like we're stuck in a Douglas Adams chapter.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:36 | 2508167 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

they can print anything but physical...

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 16:52 | 2508501 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

That has been 'their' problem...

(For thousands of years..)


Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:08 | 2507790 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

So what is the note, Drachmas or the Deutsche mark? Or both?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:37 | 2507924 sushi
sushi's picture

Nice, crisp, shiny, $3,000 USD notes.

To help fulfill the household thinkamajujig money to the people election year promise.

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:30 | 2508137 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Motto: In Keynes we Trust

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 14:43 | 2508203 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

More like "Keynes t(h)rust in us".

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 22:36 | 2509499 Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky's picture

What color ink did they order?

Fri, 06/08/2012 - 13:09 | 2507797 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

Will they be charging in drachmas or some other fiat? Or do they just get to print extra?

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