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Meet Marissa Mayer, Yahoo's New CEO
Former Google employee Marissa Mayer is now Yahoo's CEO. Good luck to the longs and Dan Loeb. In the meantime, hear (sic) she is. In the meantime, those who like us, were a little confused, this is all you need to know.
A link to her overcaffeinated 2006 Stanford lecture where much of this was pulled from.
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no, "more power" is a turn on. it's definitely the laugh.
Doesn't bother me a bit. Sounds great in fact. Its just the insane laugh thats funny.
Man it is waaaay beyond funny! It is disturbed.
And you know this how?
Bullish on bath salts
Well, if she has the following qualifications:
1) Nice Rack
2) Stick arms and skinny legs
3) Sex appeal
She will probably obtain enough visibility on Wall St., so that if she fails as CEO, she'll be "set for life" by being scooped up by a successfull hedge fund manager with "billions under management".
Unlike:
1) Meg Whitman
2) Carol Bartz
3) Ann Mulcahy
She has a shitton of money already Robo, your getting lazy bro, lazy! Also, you forgot chilling "laugh"
Why she cant be scooped by you?! I thought you were successful O_o
Robotard channeling envy ... or just getting in touch with his (her) feminine side.
She can plow it all into Netflix like yourself and get fired.
Who's at the helm of MySpace and HP again?
Has it helped?
That is a disorder, not nice Tylers! Let's go back to picking on mean people.
Obama pickle-smoking HUFFPO-ers.
She has a BS and MS in Computer Science from Stanford.
Those of you who think she's stupid because her laugh is strange are morons.
BS= Bullsh_t
MS= More S_it
that sounds like a lot to me
Well she specialized in AI and now teaches Computer Programming at Stanford. If that's bullshit, I can't imagine what qualifications would be considered acceptable to run a search engine.
Oh but she's a blonde female with a weird laugh, so she must be dumb.
Pathetic.
Well, those qualities are certainly a solid foundation. Just sayin'.
Education is all fine and dandy, but being able to apply it seems to elude an awful lot of people with alphabet soup appended to their names.
Teaching Comp Sci at Stanford (tho technically impressive, perhaps) does not qualify one to run a 1000s strong company. And it's more than a search engine (which is another strategic question altogether). I wouldn't want to see Meg "Giant Forehead" Whitman running it either, since she's proved she can destroy things rapidly. I would've preferred to see someone (regardless of gender) who's got a track record of turning things around (apart from mindlessly firing tons of people). Maybe that's too much to ask nowadays. But it is telling that this was the seeming apex of CEO choices. Can we reanimate Ken Lay's corpse?
Bill Gates would probably disagree with you.
She's from Google so she must shit gold and walk on water.
Google wasn't built on degrees but an idea.
Yahoo needs ideas, not programming.
PhD = B.S. Piled higher and Deeper
In my experience, well educated people can be extraordinarily stupid sometimes. Anyway, a laugh like that should be against the law. For sanity's sake.
Now isn't that interesting. I'm starting to see the light here.
Yes, but what does Computer Science have to do with running a business, profitably?
You may have heard of this little business named Google. She and Eric Schmidt are the ones that built the business while Larry and Sergey played foosball.
What does an Ivy-league MBA have to do with running a business, profitably?
She's got a BS and an MS from Stanford - Well Goody for her.
I have to spend my life training those same people to forget all they learn't to earn that "Embossed Toilet Paper" and to actually think on their feet, to calculate in their heads and to collect and disseminate vast quantities of puffed up bullshit and make an informed choice based on "gut feeling" - they don't teach "street smart" at Stanford
It beggars belief that people put that shit at the end of their signature. I see her type all the time..She "uses" the cute to get her way, when she fucks up she will cry and if that dosn't cut it she will blame all around her and/or the information she was given. Seen it and deal with it daily.
The only ones who make it are the ones that have THE ONLY degree ... The Doctorate from the University of HK
Hard Knocks is the only teacher worth a damn and its long and expensive but It pays dividends.
She does not have it,
Just another to deposit your load in.... Nothing to see here
Ah Yahoo, the widowmaker. Google must be so bad she bolted for Yahoo? And that laugh is chilling, it's the anti-hardon. I see how she works around nerds without sexual harassment issues, one laugh and your back to barking up other trees.
Is today April 1st?
They must have figured "She is the "Anti-Carol Bartz".
We shall see.
Does she have Tourettes?
Corporate caricature.
Young enough to believe Al Gore invented the internet.
You mean he didn't? Didn't Obama just say that Al Gore invented the internet so everybody could make money?
how the heck does she make it through an orgasm?
Don't say these things! just imagine her mouth next to your ear ...
What does she do when they show her a Queen of Diamonds?
The CEO position at Yahoo! is like the drummer from Spinal Tap
YOURS FOR SIZE, NO BIDS!
Good luck... What kind of adversity has she ever faced? Loeb has 12.5% of his fund here? Sounds like an ex citi economist.. You cannot write better story than this.. Question is it a just some sort of black comedy or greek tradgy.
I vote black comedy...
She had a key role in designing Google Search at the very beginning. For this alone, she has my respect.
Whether she can turn Yafool remains to be seen.
Before or after google went to the dark side?
Just sayin she is no token dingbat.
I am not sure I'd admit to having a hand in Google - it's a fucking monster. IT is a tough slog (not intellectually mind you) for the fairer sex, no doubt.
She is one of "them", from the clan that knows what is best for the rest of "us". Don't let that perky persona fool ya WB, she is full on witch.
The posted audio doesn't do her justice, she is actually quite expert at talking down to people without them knowing it. Yahoo! shareholders can at very minimum expect good phone from her.
A key role,what does that mean? A pretty blonde who knows how to work the boys and is at the right place at the right time with the right top cover would get the same billing.
You know, it's not much different than idolizing Ironmen. Great fine we get it that you are in great shape. But the real reason behind that is two simple things, good genetics AND a HUGELY obsessive compulsive endorphin driven life.
This world needs to stop idol oiling, and reading in other "successful" attributes to folks who are simply obsessive compulsive to the exclusion of balance in their life AND most often ONLY REALLY GOOD AT THAT ONE THING.
Mark my words, as a CEO, she is going to fail. It may be filled with juicy stories, or it may be a managed exit keeping hidden her failures. But she is going to fail.
PS, those with real leadership experience and qualities can usually tell very quickly if someone clearly does not have what it takes. Those that don't have a leadership background or experience, usually have not developed that sixth sense.
It's just the way it is.
She was carried far far higher by where she was, than her skills could ever have taken her.
You are all horrible, horrible people!
Then there's retail...
"You are all horrible, horrible people!"
OUCH.... that's gonna leave a mark......, maybe not.
HUFFPO'ers: Black, square -rimmed glasses. Drives a Hyundai. Voted for Oblowme. Hasn't read a book since high-school (5 years). WON'T read another book again, until age 63, if then. Dresses like a hipster. Apple fanperson. Knows it ALL. Sensitive to the slightest perceived 'wrong'. (TO BE CONTINUED).
She's very cute and has nice lips. What other qualifications do you need?
10 seconds in....there's a 45cal hole in my LCD where her face used to be. Still working on my draw and presentation.
Weak hand on the chest to start...
It's got to be TOURETTES!!
presenting the next AOL online....... bzzzzt bonggg pffft goodbye
You forgot "boinga boinga" or is it "bunga bunga". Dammit TD.
The board of directors probably got a call from Silverstein to "pull it"
Yahoo must me taking customer alienation lessons from MSFT.
She is hot. I am applying for the CEO assistant job.
A piece of advice Marissa, keep the comp plan heavy on upfront cash.
Becoming the CEO of Yahoo is like taking the helm of the Titanic 30 minutes after it hit the iceberg. Even if you do everything right, your still going to wind up on the bottom of the Atlantic.
Good luck, you'll need it.
Damn! So much for trying to be "first" around here:) As soon as I saw this sweet thing, I Googled "nude photos of Marissa Mayer", lo and behold, there were 556 hits for the SAME ? Gotta laugh in all of this slimey shit going down todays world. Carry on. ps. with saddness, there weren't any, yet........
Found this in the GIS for your term.
http://blog.sfgate.com/crime/2012/03/30/google-executives-brother-accuse...
There may be some genes behind the psycho laugh.
Her parents must be so, so proud
Beatrix and Buttface?
no i think robo is sitting a dark basement with his/her pants down to his ankles...
but i have to admit robo is right for a change.. does yhoo go down (no pun intended) or not doesnt matter. sweetie has herself set. meg wihitman reminds me of that butt ugly german skank on the bubblevision
A bit more informative and less demeaning. http://youtu.be/gfOIB3YBPXk
The elite will likely give her more info than Art Cashin.
I think she is a geek in the true sense of the typical CS major. How would I know? I majored in CS as well and knew way too many who were this kind of misfit. That is the most fucked up laugh I have ever heard. I can only imagine her on conference calls as yahoo reports an earnings miss. You tell me are you going long yahoo after hearing that?
With her ambition and PC look see should be easily controled by TPTB.
Geez - was that a spoof?
If not, then judging by the imbecilic laugh, first thing the Yahoo Board should do, to salvage any credibility, is wrap a role of ducK-tape - industrial strength - around her kisser.
How annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shes perfect .. im sure shell make sure yhoo is the paid for Kartrashian PR page.
My guess is she's a figurehead, and someone else is running the company (into the ground) behind the scenes. When it goes under, they'll have a nice scapegoat. Good hire for those reasons.
YA-HUH?
if she has half a brain shell end the relationship with the bubble vision tomorrow. yhoo finance is comedy central for idiots.
kill.me.now
"Unfortunately, if you were one of the first employees at Google, you didn't actually do that. Somebody else made that happen. It was me, Barry! I made that happen, my Choom Gang buddies made that happen, and Al Gore made that happen! Now please would you purchase a $35K per plate chicken dinner at my next Silicon Valley private fundraiser!"
Any and all Choom Gang & Chicken Dinner references are okay by me. :thumbs up:
Anyone checked to see if her degree(s) is legit?
This is positive for Google stock. Buy now.
MM snapped up by yahoo
The picture pleases. But then. ouch. ouch. ouch. ouch.
cant wait to read dan loeb's next rant,
he must be apoplectic over this ditzy yid.
The military could record that laugh and use it at gitmo to torture terrorists.
Frig, man. At first, I thought: "ok, cute face", but her ditzy laugh is causing me MAJOR shrinkage, George Costanza style.
LOL!
Her laugh is somthing else . . . but hell, I don't have to live with her.
As for what she does to YHOO, I could care less - - - could make a sweet little short.
Right, but according to our overlords she's our "equal."
But, of course, companies must be encouraged to hire women and minorities and quotas must be put in place.
So answer me this bitchez...if they are our "equals" then why do they need quotas?
Things to talk about over dinner:
"I think my mother has cancer".
"Do we have our wills in place?
"Pork bellies were DOWN today".
"Honey, what do you think of the sad state of the world today, hmmmm"?
I wish Marissa good luck at her new job, and I hope she gives a reason to start using Yahoo again.
If you reverse it does it say "thank you satan"?
If Yahoo keeps leading with AP news on their front page I'd say they have a orugh future. Hopefully she presses for more accurate and cogent news reporting.
She probably had the biggest tits :)
Just saying.....
Hmmm
The dumbest things YHOO ever did was stop using the original Yodel and get rid of the original Y Guy! That's what hiring a bunch of marketing mba's will get you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIPmS4Pb0ww
http://www.hdicon.com/vector-logos/yahoo-jumping-y-guy/