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MF Global Hearing Live

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today's primetime popcorn event is about to begin: as reported earlier, the House Financial Services Committee will hold an oversight and investigations hearing on the collapse of MF Global, beginning at 3 pm. The hearing will focus on the decisions during the company's final days that led to the disappearance of up to $1.6 billion in customer funds. The party line is that "The investigation aims to "not only to find out where the money went but to identify what went wrong in order to prevent this from happening again," Subcommittee Chairman Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-TX) said." What instead will happen is that a bunch of politicians will huff and puff, and nothing will happen once again, because to take down Corzine, would mean to start eating away at the entire rotten core of today's captured political system, which has and always will be run out of Wall Street. It will also be amusing to listen to Edith O’Brien plead the Fif.

Full webcast after the jump, where the empty seats will be populated by empty suits.

The witness list and prepared remarks can be found below.

WITNESS LIST

Panel I

  • Ms. Laurie Ferber, General Counsel, MF Global Holdings Ltd.
  • Mr. Henri Steenkamp, Chief Financial Officer, MF Global Holdings Ltd.
  • Ms. Christine Serwinski, Chief Financial Officer for North America, MF Global Inc.
  • Ms. Edith O’Brien, Assistant Treasurer, MF Global Inc. (no written statement submitted)

Panel II

 

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Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:11 | 2297943 fuu
fuu's picture

Let the games begin!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:14 | 2297958 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Let the mummer's farce begin!

Fixed it for ya.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:24 | 2297995 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

I love that term. That's what it is.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:26 | 2298003 CIABS
CIABS's picture

OK, first batch of popcorn is gone.  What's happening?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:32 | 2298028 Mercury
Mercury's picture

 

Time to plead the fifth.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:34 | 2298037 CIABS
CIABS's picture

Soon it will be time to plead for that fifth batch of popcorn.

(Apparently there is a House vote underway and the hearing will begin soon.)

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298298 Arius
Arius's picture

THAT'S a SHAME!!!!

Dragging these good people through the mud .... public hearing and all that ... and for what ???

They are the best at what they do, trying to serve the customers, real professionals ... mistakes do happen ... so what do you do?  kill these people through the power of media and politicians? SHAME

We are Americans we can take it!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298311 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

"On advice of counsel, i respectfully decline to answer"

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAHA fucking criminals

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2298320 fuu
fuu's picture

Fifth plead: 2.

Confirmed she would answer all questions the same way.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:14 | 2298427 fuu
fuu's picture

"Bonnie and Clyde we chumps compared to you three. They had to take gas money, you just get people to wire it to you and you have no idea what happened."

"What chumps those old bandits were compared to you three."

Lovin it!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:18 | 2298458 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

This is totally awesome...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:45 | 2298555 barliman
barliman's picture

 

Need to redo LMFAO's hit to

"We're weasels and we know it"

weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel

barliman

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:14 | 2298431 flacon
flacon's picture

The blond head (Lewinsky?) is sounding confused. 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:28 | 2298494 fuu
fuu's picture

I am enjoying the fact that they just ignore her if she doesn't answer promptly.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2298327 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"...based on my Constitutional rights."

Committee member: "What are those?"

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:11 | 2298418 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

These fuck sticks can't give a 1 word answer to a question like "what color is the sky?"

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:12 | 2298617 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

What an absolute fucking disgrace this is.

Why are they not arresting these criminals?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:57 | 2298809 Dermasolarapate...
Dermasolarapaterraphatrima's picture

Arius, indeed, it is Vugar to watch these upstanding financial geniuses, memeber of the Upper Class,  dragged thru the mud....it's sad day when the Hoi Polio, the scrubby masses, the filthy customers....the far left wing Commie media can tarnish the sparkling reputations of these Wall Street Uber Giants.

Sad indeed....

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:34 | 2298039 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Nothing like a prompt start.

I think a few of them are still drinking a fifth before listening to people plead the fifth.

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:49 | 2298115 johnu1978
johnu1978's picture

No, it's time to get some more popcorn!!!

 

-John
Learn About Wild Edible Plants:
http://www.heartrootnatureconnection.com

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2298275 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

A picture worth 1.6 billion...

http://annoyanidiot.blogspot.com/

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:36 | 2298045 flacon
flacon's picture

"Video temporarily unavailable.

Please try again later."

 

I am not getting a video feed.... 

 

...oh nevermind.... it works in IE...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:36 | 2298046 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Ironic that Jamie 'fuck-you-pay-me' Dimon is tooling the public on CNBC right now. Would love the guy to ask Dimon...... so, Jamie, tell us what REALLY happened with this whole MF Global thing.

No balls on CNBC

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:01 | 2298177 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

it's military industrial complex day on CNBC today

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:16 | 2298226 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

What really happened is that JP Morgan was completely in on the swindle. The "segregated" customer accounts that were stolen were held with JP Morgan, as was the investment account that was $175 million overdrafted. JP Morgan authorized the customer funds transfer to MF Global's main accounts, which MF Global promptly used to cover the hole they were in in an account also held by JP Morgan. JP Morgan was smart enough to cover their ass (they knew MF was in "distress") by having their legal counsel "verify" that the customer funds were not used to cover investment losses.

You can read it all here: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/03/28/jpmorgan-lawyer-says-mf-global-ga...

Of course Dimon is trying to cover his ass now. Of course no one knew anything ... It all just magically dissapeared. It was all just a mistake, honest.

The lawyer dealing with the letters was Dennis Klejna, a deputy counsel who was no stranger to crisis at futures firms. An industry veteran, Mr. Klejna was a former general counsel at Refco, the defunct brokerage that was taken over by MF Global after it collapsed in scandal. Mr. Klejna, who also served as the enforcement chief at the Commodity Future Trading Commission, agreed to forfeit $1.25 million to be distributed to victims of the Refco fraud. He was never charged with wrongdoing.

If you're one of the pro-big government dolts who still thinks more regulation can fix Wall Street, please read and re-read that excerpt. One of the chief market regulators in this nation was involved in not one but two major brokerage collapses, one of which resulted in securities fraud convictions (albeit not for the former regulator) and the other resulted in over a billion dollars just "dissapearing."

In case you need a reminder, Refco is the brokerage that was hiding $430 million in bad debt and was found to be holding over $500 million in FAKE bonds in offshore accounts. Yet "no one" knew this -- not the former regulators on their legal counsel team, nor the banks that handled Refco's IPO (BofA, Goldman and Credit Suisse) which performed "due diligence."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:34 | 2298285 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Regulatory capture is nothing new.  A congress that had the fucking balls to do something about it would be.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:56 | 2298365 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Ezactly.  Congress is owned. We all know that. What are they going to do? Absofukinglutely nothing.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:31 | 2298691 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Congressional capture is nothing new; a congresss that wasn't captured, would be"  There, fixed it for you.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:22 | 2298640 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Chris from Morningside,

You may have hit the nail on the head.  If the Customer Money was invested overnight with JPM, if JPM then returned the Money to MF Globals Business Account instead of the Segregated Account then MF Global may have though that they had enough Money in their Business Account to pay the Margin Call.  Not knowing that the Customer Money was not put back into the segregated account but instead the Business Account.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:50 | 2298340 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

The Committee has kindly saved the People's time once O'Brien pleaded the Fifth twice and also said that she intends to plead the Fifth even if you ask her what color are her shoes ... so now O'Brien as been excused.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:23 | 2298198 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

There is no more apt description for this, than "Mummer's Farce."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:05 | 2298840 Gazooks
Gazooks's picture

tru dat.  goobermint sans feathers at its shameless, prancing best

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:32 | 2298696 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

Speaking of mummers, does 'Capuano' mean bat-shit in Italian?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:15 | 2297961 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Indeed.  Which games though?

 

-- Hypothecate senior MF Global employees (Guantanamo sounds good)?

-- Hypothecate the Congressmen?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:29 | 2298017 fuu
fuu's picture

Safer to just nuke the site from orbit.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2298265 malikai
malikai's picture

It's the only way to be sure.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:29 | 2298683 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Boy I sure would like to give him a hint as to how to keep this from happening again; You handcuff people and put them in the back of the un-marked sedan for the ride to the Federal Holding Facility; then convict them and jail them. That's how you keep it from "happening"; it didn't "happen". It was the coldly calculated risk taken by people who had reason to believe they were going to get away with it. It's not nuclear Physics, people.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:46 | 2298756 fuu
fuu's picture

Exactly!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297949 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Poof!

Biggest component of post hearing wordcloud: 'Vaporized'

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297955 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I'm taking the Fifth, bitchez!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2297973 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I think its more properly pronounced, "Fif". Or maybe "Fizzif"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxE_oQBwrdU

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2297977 Decay is Constant
Decay is Constant's picture

One fifth scotch.

One fifth tequila

One fifth vodka ... better make that a gallon.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:23 | 2297990 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

A fifth of Crown for me thanks.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:39 | 2298066 yabyum
yabyum's picture

I am going to open a fifth.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297957 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 

 "where the empty seats will be populated by empty suits"

 

I love the Hedge. I hope the Tylers never run out of material.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:16 | 2297966 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

Tylers will ALWAYS have material to run.  No way MF Global is over.  No way anything else is over either.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:40 | 2298072 noob
noob's picture

"gggood" times

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:15 | 2297960 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Gonna have to be good to top yesterday's "Trayvon" hearing.

Negro children in Congress. If I wasn't livin' it I wouldn't believe it.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:17 | 2297971 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You wearing your hoodie today?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:45 | 2298088 noob
noob's picture

how did you know?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:48 | 2298108 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You look like the hoodie type...you know with the glasses and all.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:52 | 2298137 noob
noob's picture

...it's cool.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:26 | 2298001 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Did your mommy and daddy say mean things about brown people when you were growing your brain?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:05 | 2298392 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Piran: I was part of a salt & pepper team in the '70s. Guy was my best friend. I've no beef with individuals. That being said, black culture as a whole is inferior; lacking in self-responsibility and a accountability. I'm tired to death of white apologists who condone amoral behavior.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:48 | 2298765 Rynak
Rynak's picture

What the hell is "black culture"? You could at least have added "in the US" or even just "immigrated to western nations in the usual circumstances".

And before you get the idea of replying with the usual "oh, so if a black one does it, it's okay"? NO, rather, i just don't give a fuck about such criteria at all.

To give you an idea where i'm comming from: I'm a freelancer and refuse to do any business with turks in my country. Does that mean that i think that anyone born in turkey, or his/her parents originating from turkey, in terms of business is despisable.... just because him/her was born in some geographical area, or had parents from there?

No, in fact, i have turkish friends, who despise a certain part of their... culture... themselves. What i am seeing is simply a certain subset of a popular culture immigrating to my country and starting businesses... and that this demographic considers "haggling" no matter the circumstances, as well as requesting an "unusual degree of flexibility" from the provider... part of the "fun" of doing business. And my business model is not compatible with that demographic.

If i were living in the USA, and had an incompatible business model with "popular black culture" over there, i may make a similiar decision for entirely different reasons. Still wouldn't make me talk about a term as generic as "black culture" (how many pop cultures are there on the planet, with blacks? And are they all the same?).

To drive the point home: I'm german... and there are certain demographics of germans in other countries, on whom i would rather piss than even bother communicating.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:55 | 2298795 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Rynak: good luck in therapy.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:01 | 2298817 Rynak
Rynak's picture

At least, my local experience with a cultural subset, are "curable"... beliefs on the other hand, aren't "curable".... neither by a therapist, nor logic, nor alternate experience.... they just are, like an axiom.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 23:07 | 2299497 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

I must say, Rynak's medication appears to have kicked in a bit this week.  It is almost possible to discern a train of thought here.......

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:15 | 2297962 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Damn! I cannot join in on this drinking game, as I do not have a full 1.75L on hand...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:33 | 2298033 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Then go buy some!  The you can join the fun!

Here's my favorite:

 

"Death After Midnight"

-- 1 part cold water

-- 1 part good absinthe

-- 3 parts raspberry vodka

All straight out of the freezer!  Keep a wingman glass of water handy in case your throat starts burning...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:15 | 2298439 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

Please define "good" absinthe.

I find that some of the stuff I love other's don't

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:25 | 2298487 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Yes, there's a lot of subjectivity in liking versions of absinthe.  My favorite is the Pernod (be careful to get the absinthe, not just the anisette).  The Grande Absente is good too.  

I do NOT like the Swiss Kubler.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:40 | 2298542 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

Yuck! I hate Pernod :)

Don't like lucid either.

I am drinking st georges now, it's really great if you have not tried it yet, I like Grand and Obsello, Kubler is ok, sometimes I like Le Fay for the anise explosion on the palate. La Fey is good to cook with also.

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:13 | 2298623 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

You see?  It's all subjective!

 

"There's no accounting for taste."

-- Captain James T. Kirk

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:55 | 2298149 fuu
fuu's picture

They are still not in the room, you have time to run to the store and back.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:36 | 2298291 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i'll go now

i'm in an elevated mood

didya check the "edith0'Brien" link in tyler's intro, fuu?  L0L!!!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:29 | 2298499 fuu
fuu's picture

Is she deaf or hearing impaired? Her voice was strange.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:17 | 2298641 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

it may be hormonal

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 20:04 | 2299112 fuu
fuu's picture

Mrs. Laurie Ferber testifies that she forwarded a copy of the JPM letter specifying only two related transactions with the substance on the communication being that Edith sign it. Mrs. Laurie Ferber also testifies that her understanding was that Edith was comfortable signing off on JPM's letter if it was specific to two related transactions.

 

Wonder what the related transactions were related to. Unless in this case it is the $175M transfer.

 

"They were robbed and nobody knew anything about it. One point six billion dollars." - Stephen Lynch

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 20:56 | 2299231 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

paste from tyler:  >>It will also be amusing to listen to Edith O’Brien plead>> the Fif.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:16 | 2297968 ejhickey
ejhickey's picture

"


MF Global's Edith O'Brien Talks Deal with Justice

By Aaron Lucchetti, Michael Rothfeld and Mike Spector

 

@FINS

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:05 | 2298193 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It's official then. O'Brien is going to taste the pavement.

The definition of "Corzined" just keeps expanding.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:09 | 2298196 W10321303
W10321303's picture

Ref: Mad Max show (maxkeiser@rt) #

Episode 265

In this episode, Max Keiser and co-host Stacy Herbert discuss the great “unbanked” masses dumping gold believing in a “recovering economy” and an end to money printing, while banks and insiders buy gold and mortgage-backed securities in preparation for more quantitative easing by the Fed. In the second half of the show Max talks to Mark Melin of Uncorrelated Investments about MF Global, JP...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:17 | 2297974 Greater Fool
Greater Fool's picture

Steenkamp takes out his statement, reaches in his suit pocket for his glasses, freezes.

"Uh, sorry."

"What's that, Mister Steenkamp?"

"I--ladies and gentlemen, I haven't worn this suit in several months. I--I hate to say it, but...." He brings out $1.5 billion in cash. "I guess I must've just left it here by mistake."

Chairman Frank laughs. "No problem. Happens to me all the time--usually I love it when I find out I accidentally left money in my clothes. But it isn't usually quite that much!"

"Except that one time with Freddie."

"Yes, of course." He bangs the gavel. "I guess we're adjourned. Sorry for all the fuss."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:21 | 2297981 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

 What time does the Honorable Jon speak?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:24 | 2297996 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He's hanging out with Cheney and Zimmerman in a secure location.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:29 | 2298020 Lord Blankcheck
Lord Blankcheck's picture

Cheney just had a heart transplant.Just be glad you were not a match!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:33 | 2298029 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He did? I was not aware of that....sarc.....does this mean he might develope the compassion not to bomb brown people for oil?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:57 | 2298165 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

I think this new heart will reject him unless it came from someone cold blooded just like him,

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:03 | 2298594 citta vritti
citta vritti's picture

IRS agent - never used (available for brain transplant, too)

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:21 | 2298236 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Conspiracy! Turns out he did not need one, just took out the old one and he is fine. Needed a cover story for the masses.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:52 | 2298134 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I think you mean an implant. In order to have a transplant, there has to be one available to trade out.

But at least now we have medical proof.

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:10 | 2298405 MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

Kind of makes you wonder what poor Chinese SOB just gave his heart to Darth Vader for $2000 for his family.

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:16 | 2298638 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Dylan's hanging out with Cheney? The Bard with The Master of War.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2297976 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

bout time Edith.  hope you are lawyered up with a good republican lawyer.  a dem lawyer might not let you know about conflicts of interest.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:23 | 2297991 jwl2020
jwl2020's picture

Her lawyer is the same guy who represented Bernie Ebbers

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:09 | 2298205 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

its a small world isn't it?  LOL

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:21 | 2297982 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

"Overdraft" = 2 shots

"Segregated funds" = 2 shots

"Fifth" = 1 shot (cuz we will probably hear that a lot and some of us still have to drive home)

"Vaporized" = 3 shots

"JP Morgan" = 2 shots

"ethics" = 1 shot (cuz there is no value to this any longer)

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:28 | 2298009 dannyboy
dannyboy's picture

I'm in. JP Morgan 2 shots is gonna be a killer..

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298315 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

Ding! Ding! Ding! we just got TWO invocations of the Fifth Amendment Rights within 60 seconds ... bonus of 5 SHOTS.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:28 | 2298010 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Time to crank up some Thorogood.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2298267 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

oooh! I just heard "segregated funds" three times! ... gonna need to make a quick run to the store at this rate ....

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:04 | 2298389 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

Got two "JP Morgan"s and more on the way ....

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:09 | 2298402 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

oh good grief ... they have embarked on a defintion of "segregated funds" ... I'm gonna pass out at this rate.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:22 | 2297985 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Corzine and Dimon.

Where is the missing money, where are the indictments?

Time to stop paying taxes and take to the streets.

Oh yes.  And evidence is emerging that Obama's social security number is bogus, selective service records are faked, birth certificate is forgery and college records says he is a foreigner.  Release the secret college records.

I don't care about the political parties, but we now have a sitting President whose every signing order and legislative matter is null.

Try putting that genie back in the bottle.

Don't forget.  Its all being done on purpose.  They want the country under civil war. Divide and conquer.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:37 | 2298049 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ $55,000, the highest rating I give.

Where is the money?  Where are the indictments?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:13 | 2298207 W10321303
W10321303's picture

It's all JPM this time (RE: MadMax episode #265) (OOoops they all look alike to me)

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:57 | 2298361 blu
blu's picture

Listen. Nobody goes after someone who can vaporize $1,600.000.000 like it was nuth'n.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:41 | 2298954 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

"They" want Civil War?  Ref to Warren Oates character, Wild Bunch, just before closing scene gun battle...checks pistola, picks up shotgun, looks at Ben Johnson, Bill Holden: "Let's Go."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:22 | 2297988 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Wonder if the MF folks are going to show up wearing hoodies.....

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:23 | 2297992 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Good thing the desks are brown, the BS about to be spewn will blend right in.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:24 | 2297994 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

MF hearings summarized in one quote:

It seems that the initial reports that one of our submarines was missing were not completely accurate.

(Ambassador Lysenko, The Hunt For Red October)

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:28 | 2298008 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Put those fuckers in an electric chair...they should be "vaporized"

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:28 | 2298016 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Wow, that was fast.  What happened.  Was is supposed to be over this fast?

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:33 | 2298022 morning_glory
morning_glory's picture

This presentation is brought to you courtesy of MF Global Incorporated.

 

The views expressed in this presentation are the sole responsibility of the presenter and do not necessarily reflect the views of MF Global Inc.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:33 | 2298032 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

JPM "Oral assurances"...please meet "I don't recall" John Corzine.  THAT IS WHY THIS SHIT IS DONE IN WRITING.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:44 | 2298086 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

jamie is probably good at oral assurances.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:40 | 2298062 Goldtoothchimp09
Goldtoothchimp09's picture

2 EST ?!  anyone know why it hasn't started??? Or is it over already?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:52 | 2298135 Negro Primero
Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:45 | 2298096 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

LOL, nothing will happen, the clowns run the circus.

 

THE WORST thing that will happen is they will get slapped with some penalty to pay for 2 cents on the dollar for every dollar they stole . . . just like they did with the mortgage fraud . . .

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:58 | 2298166 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Question is, will they finally throw somebody under the bus today? Ferber seems to be in waaaay too deep (helping setup the scam), so as long as she acts appropriately intelligent, yet uninformed she'll be okay. Maybe O'Brien?

Empty suits are now taking the stage.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:57 | 2298163 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Cut the crap.  I want to see a Perp walk!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:03 | 2298181 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The closest thing you'll see to that are the committee members walking to their seats.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:13 | 2298212 HD
HD's picture

Sad and true mate. Sad but true.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:59 | 2298375 blu
blu's picture

LOL. And that's our "provide the caption" win for the day.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:01 | 2298178 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Popcorn ready? Fasten your seatbelts, we're going to take off to Lalaland!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:01 | 2298180 grgy
grgy's picture

Wouldn't it be nice if the empty suits had balls like Janet Tavakoli? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTWKT3pZgT8

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:03 | 2298183 jayman21
jayman21's picture

How many Chase commercials do you see on CNBC?  They would never go off the talking points supplied by JPM.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:04 | 2298187 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

"This is a hearing, not a trial" -> So go for it!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:05 | 2298194 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Mr. Capuano is a fucking pussy

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:07 | 2298199 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

OK, lets find out what happened about the leaked memo. WFT!?! He's out of subject AND pussy I surely agree.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:11 | 2298206 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What a fucker more concerned about protecting Corzine than he is about the truth getting out.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:27 | 2298257 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

It's about protecting a LOT more than just Corzine. If they can't save him, they'll undermine their own ability to survive and perpetrate the scam another day.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:36 | 2298290 noob
noob's picture

ship of fools

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:11 | 2298209 HD
HD's picture

Not looking forward to the closing bell. Someone gives Maria a cookie everytime she says "off the lows"...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:13 | 2298213 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

Well, the morgue will cooperate: it will take care of the farmer's dead bodies. Bachus looks like in total damage control.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:15 | 2298219 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

The gentlement talking presently looks much more altruistic. What's his name?

"The breathtaking lack of care of the customers..." +1

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:21 | 2298220 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

When five cents are not accounted for in my checking account from six months ago the bank can track every penny.....

Don't give me this sh*t they don't know what, where, how, when crap.

Do you know where your money is?

 

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298301 Karl Danneskjold
Karl Danneskjold's picture

+ 1 million

 

It is beyond comprehension to me that 'they' don't know where the money is

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:47 | 2298332 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ another million to you.

Bullshit they can't find the money.  The new Utah data center will be able to find that in, uhh, whatever an order of magnitude less than a nanosecond is...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:59 | 2298814 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

I'll bet IBM's "Watson" can find it too.

 

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:03 | 2298835 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Maybe they should put the IRS on it to find the Money.  They can find a penny left in your sofa you did not claim.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:15 | 2298224 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

should we all vomit in unison as they "thank each other" for the great efforts they've made to investigate this?

and thank the people for appearing.

one, two, three....

 

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:16 | 2298227 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Just like your side......shut the fuck up! There should be only one side on this issue...the truth you fucker.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:24 | 2298241 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Find your quiet place. I'm in mine; it's swell.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:26 | 2298250 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

oohhmmmmm......oohhmmmmm

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2298276 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

Step forward into your cave, you're going deeper into your cave. And you're going
to find - your power animal.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:16 | 2298228 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

What wait...the GOP is withholding 100's of thousands of documents from the DEM?

 

I'm shocked I tellya...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:28 | 2298261 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Ferber "opening statement." Translation: words typed on a page by New York defense lawyers will now be mouthed into a microphone.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:28 | 2298262 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Banker justice = blowjobs all round.

Ps...fuck you Corzine.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2298272 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

Defense lawyerspeak no. 1: Ferber calls theft of client funds "reconciliation errors."

Lewlz.

 

Steenkamp is now up. He's throwing the auditors and outside regulators under the bus, says the segregated accounts weren't his responsibility. He's a "global" CFO and didn't know what was going on with the U.S. client account funds. Steenkamp sounds like a real BS artist. How the fuck does MF Global's CFO not know about a billion plus in outflows?

AND, same answer from Serwinski. Says MF Global "Treasury" department is responsible for the customer outflows, and no one involved with the customer money fraud "reports" to Serwinski. Oh, how convenient: Serwinski says she was "out" that "week" when MF Global imploded. Her "absence," she calls it. A "week off."

Rats, sinking ship.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:40 | 2298299 Overflow-admin
Overflow-admin's picture

No, it's because he's CFO of MFGI, not MFG! Yeah, we know how works the Ltd shit

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:33 | 2298283 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

The man can't pronounce "subsidiary"

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:33 | 2298286 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Doesn't take too long listening to this Steenkamp guy to know he's in on the crime. The presentation is not that of someone upset at the end of the company. This speech is designed to hide what he really knows.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2298318 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And he's only been in the position for just under a year.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:38 | 2298294 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

This blonde chick took the money on vacation with her.....

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:07 | 2298851 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Maybe that is why they asked her if the vacation was in the US. To make sure she was not taking a huge check to a Foreign Account.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:39 | 2298296 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Hi, Im General Counsel, "I didn't do it"

Hi, Im the CFO. "I was busy doing something else. I didn't do it"

Hi, I'm the other CFO. "The guys that transfered the money don't fall in my juristiction so I didn't do it"

Good f*ckin grief...somebody just put Corzine's head on a pike and let's move forward!

 

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