• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

MF Global Hearing Live

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today's primetime popcorn event is about to begin: as reported earlier, the House Financial Services Committee will hold an oversight and investigations hearing on the collapse of MF Global, beginning at 3 pm. The hearing will focus on the decisions during the company's final days that led to the disappearance of up to $1.6 billion in customer funds. The party line is that "The investigation aims to "not only to find out where the money went but to identify what went wrong in order to prevent this from happening again," Subcommittee Chairman Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-TX) said." What instead will happen is that a bunch of politicians will huff and puff, and nothing will happen once again, because to take down Corzine, would mean to start eating away at the entire rotten core of today's captured political system, which has and always will be run out of Wall Street. It will also be amusing to listen to Edith O’Brien plead the Fif.

Full webcast after the jump, where the empty seats will be populated by empty suits.

The witness list and prepared remarks can be found below.

WITNESS LIST

Panel I

  • Ms. Laurie Ferber, General Counsel, MF Global Holdings Ltd.
  • Mr. Henri Steenkamp, Chief Financial Officer, MF Global Holdings Ltd.
  • Ms. Christine Serwinski, Chief Financial Officer for North America, MF Global Inc.
  • Ms. Edith O’Brien, Assistant Treasurer, MF Global Inc. (no written statement submitted)

Panel II

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Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:11 | 2297943 fuu
fuu's picture

Let the games begin!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:14 | 2297958 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Let the mummer's farce begin!

Fixed it for ya.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:24 | 2297995 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

I love that term. That's what it is.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:26 | 2298003 CIABS
CIABS's picture

OK, first batch of popcorn is gone.  What's happening?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:32 | 2298028 Mercury
Mercury's picture

 

Time to plead the fifth.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:34 | 2298037 CIABS
CIABS's picture

Soon it will be time to plead for that fifth batch of popcorn.

(Apparently there is a House vote underway and the hearing will begin soon.)

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298298 Arius
Arius's picture

THAT'S a SHAME!!!!

Dragging these good people through the mud .... public hearing and all that ... and for what ???

They are the best at what they do, trying to serve the customers, real professionals ... mistakes do happen ... so what do you do?  kill these people through the power of media and politicians? SHAME

We are Americans we can take it!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:43 | 2298311 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

"On advice of counsel, i respectfully decline to answer"

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAHA fucking criminals

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2298320 fuu
fuu's picture

Fifth plead: 2.

Confirmed she would answer all questions the same way.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:14 | 2298427 fuu
fuu's picture

"Bonnie and Clyde we chumps compared to you three. They had to take gas money, you just get people to wire it to you and you have no idea what happened."

"What chumps those old bandits were compared to you three."

Lovin it!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:18 | 2298458 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

This is totally awesome...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:45 | 2298555 barliman
barliman's picture

 

Need to redo LMFAO's hit to

"We're weasels and we know it"

weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel

barliman

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:14 | 2298431 flacon
flacon's picture

The blond head (Lewinsky?) is sounding confused. 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:28 | 2298494 fuu
fuu's picture

I am enjoying the fact that they just ignore her if she doesn't answer promptly.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:44 | 2298327 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"...based on my Constitutional rights."

Committee member: "What are those?"

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 16:11 | 2298418 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

These fuck sticks can't give a 1 word answer to a question like "what color is the sky?"

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:12 | 2298617 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

What an absolute fucking disgrace this is.

Why are they not arresting these criminals?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:57 | 2298809 Dermasolarapate...
Dermasolarapaterraphatrima's picture

Arius, indeed, it is Vugar to watch these upstanding financial geniuses, memeber of the Upper Class,  dragged thru the mud....it's sad day when the Hoi Polio, the scrubby masses, the filthy customers....the far left wing Commie media can tarnish the sparkling reputations of these Wall Street Uber Giants.

Sad indeed....

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:34 | 2298039 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Nothing like a prompt start.

I think a few of them are still drinking a fifth before listening to people plead the fifth.

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:49 | 2298115 johnu1978
johnu1978's picture

No, it's time to get some more popcorn!!!

 

-John
Learn About Wild Edible Plants:
http://www.heartrootnatureconnection.com

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:30 | 2298275 Chief KnocAHoma
Chief KnocAHoma's picture

A picture worth 1.6 billion...

http://annoyanidiot.blogspot.com/

 

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:36 | 2298045 flacon
flacon's picture

"Video temporarily unavailable.

Please try again later."

 

I am not getting a video feed.... 

 

...oh nevermind.... it works in IE...

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:36 | 2298046 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Ironic that Jamie 'fuck-you-pay-me' Dimon is tooling the public on CNBC right now. Would love the guy to ask Dimon...... so, Jamie, tell us what REALLY happened with this whole MF Global thing.

No balls on CNBC

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:01 | 2298177 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

it's military industrial complex day on CNBC today

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:16 | 2298226 ChrisFromMorningside
ChrisFromMorningside's picture

What really happened is that JP Morgan was completely in on the swindle. The "segregated" customer accounts that were stolen were held with JP Morgan, as was the investment account that was $175 million overdrafted. JP Morgan authorized the customer funds transfer to MF Global's main accounts, which MF Global promptly used to cover the hole they were in in an account also held by JP Morgan. JP Morgan was smart enough to cover their ass (they knew MF was in "distress") by having their legal counsel "verify" that the customer funds were not used to cover investment losses.

You can read it all here: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/03/28/jpmorgan-lawyer-says-mf-global-ga...

Of course Dimon is trying to cover his ass now. Of course no one knew anything ... It all just magically dissapeared. It was all just a mistake, honest.

The lawyer dealing with the letters was Dennis Klejna, a deputy counsel who was no stranger to crisis at futures firms. An industry veteran, Mr. Klejna was a former general counsel at Refco, the defunct brokerage that was taken over by MF Global after it collapsed in scandal. Mr. Klejna, who also served as the enforcement chief at the Commodity Future Trading Commission, agreed to forfeit $1.25 million to be distributed to victims of the Refco fraud. He was never charged with wrongdoing.

If you're one of the pro-big government dolts who still thinks more regulation can fix Wall Street, please read and re-read that excerpt. One of the chief market regulators in this nation was involved in not one but two major brokerage collapses, one of which resulted in securities fraud convictions (albeit not for the former regulator) and the other resulted in over a billion dollars just "dissapearing."

In case you need a reminder, Refco is the brokerage that was hiding $430 million in bad debt and was found to be holding over $500 million in FAKE bonds in offshore accounts. Yet "no one" knew this -- not the former regulators on their legal counsel team, nor the banks that handled Refco's IPO (BofA, Goldman and Credit Suisse) which performed "due diligence."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:34 | 2298285 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Regulatory capture is nothing new.  A congress that had the fucking balls to do something about it would be.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:56 | 2298365 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Ezactly.  Congress is owned. We all know that. What are they going to do? Absofukinglutely nothing.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:31 | 2298691 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

"Congressional capture is nothing new; a congresss that wasn't captured, would be"  There, fixed it for you.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:22 | 2298640 Waterfallsparkles
Waterfallsparkles's picture

Chris from Morningside,

You may have hit the nail on the head.  If the Customer Money was invested overnight with JPM, if JPM then returned the Money to MF Globals Business Account instead of the Segregated Account then MF Global may have though that they had enough Money in their Business Account to pay the Margin Call.  Not knowing that the Customer Money was not put back into the segregated account but instead the Business Account.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:50 | 2298340 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

The Committee has kindly saved the People's time once O'Brien pleaded the Fifth twice and also said that she intends to plead the Fifth even if you ask her what color are her shoes ... so now O'Brien as been excused.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:23 | 2298198 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

There is no more apt description for this, than "Mummer's Farce."

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 18:05 | 2298840 Gazooks
Gazooks's picture

tru dat.  goobermint sans feathers at its shameless, prancing best

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:32 | 2298696 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

Speaking of mummers, does 'Capuano' mean bat-shit in Italian?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:15 | 2297961 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Indeed.  Which games though?

 

-- Hypothecate senior MF Global employees (Guantanamo sounds good)?

-- Hypothecate the Congressmen?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:29 | 2298017 fuu
fuu's picture

Safer to just nuke the site from orbit.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 15:29 | 2298265 malikai
malikai's picture

It's the only way to be sure.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:29 | 2298683 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Boy I sure would like to give him a hint as to how to keep this from happening again; You handcuff people and put them in the back of the un-marked sedan for the ride to the Federal Holding Facility; then convict them and jail them. That's how you keep it from "happening"; it didn't "happen". It was the coldly calculated risk taken by people who had reason to believe they were going to get away with it. It's not nuclear Physics, people.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 17:46 | 2298756 fuu
fuu's picture

Exactly!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297949 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Poof!

Biggest component of post hearing wordcloud: 'Vaporized'

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297955 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

I'm taking the Fifth, bitchez!

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2297973 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

I think its more properly pronounced, "Fif". Or maybe "Fizzif"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxE_oQBwrdU

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:18 | 2297977 Decay is Constant
Decay is Constant's picture

One fifth scotch.

One fifth tequila

One fifth vodka ... better make that a gallon.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:23 | 2297990 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

A fifth of Crown for me thanks.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:39 | 2298066 yabyum
yabyum's picture

I am going to open a fifth.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:13 | 2297957 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

 

 "where the empty seats will be populated by empty suits"

 

I love the Hedge. I hope the Tylers never run out of material.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:16 | 2297966 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1

Tylers will ALWAYS have material to run.  No way MF Global is over.  No way anything else is over either.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:40 | 2298072 noob
noob's picture

"gggood" times

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:15 | 2297960 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Gonna have to be good to top yesterday's "Trayvon" hearing.

Negro children in Congress. If I wasn't livin' it I wouldn't believe it.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:17 | 2297971 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You wearing your hoodie today?

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 14:45 | 2298088 noob
noob's picture

how did you know?

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