Michael Krieger Explains Why It Takes Only 5 Minutes

Tyler Durden's picture

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NOTW777's picture

wonder if retail will rollover

cnbc avoiding the less than stellar #s on retailers this morning




Chief KnocAHoma's picture



Last night this conversation between Obama, Geitner and Bernanke was recorded in the Oval Office:


Obama: What seems to be the problem gentlemen? And it had better be important because Sports Center is about to give my pre-season basketball picks.


Geitner: Mr. President the global credit markets are seizing up again. All liquidity is being drained from the system because those greedy European peasants are demanding what was promised to them.


Obama: No problem Timmy. I'll give a speech in the morning with soothing words and caring faces. I'll put just the right emphasis on selected words and phrases. The press will fall all over themselves thanking me, and the markets will heal.


Bernanke: (Looking at Geitner with dumbfounded glare) Mr. President I think we may need to do more than that. I think we need to inject a significant amount of capital into the markets immediately. We can call it The American Re-Investment Act Phase 9. I'll print the living shit out of money, and create a lot electronically, then the system will free up. (A devilish grin appears.) Of course we will have to tax some one for the additional debt.


Obama: Is there any way we can exempt minorities, Muslims, single mothers and White Sox fans from the tax?


Geitner: I think that is called Obamacare.


Obama: Hmm... (scratching his chin) This is another hardship on the American people, and more importantly, it will hurt my poll numbers. Do you think we can blame Bush?


Bernanke: (Trying to keep a straight face.) Mr. President you will be viewed as a hero to thousands on Wall Street, which means big campaign dollars, and we can even blame it on the banks. They don't care...


Geitner: (Laughing out loud) Yeah... like they have souls anyway.

luna_man's picture

"Chief KnocAHoma"...Nice to have the fly on the wall.:)

LeonardoFibonacci's picture

Thank President Obummer for turning the US into a Zimbabwe economic powerhouse!

LeonardoFibonacci's picture


For those  lovers of CHANGE from our leadership

Fake Jim Quinn's picture

This is hateful sh*t dude. You really stepped over the line

mtomato2's picture

Yep.  The guy is on the wrong blog altogether.  He should have taken that left toin at Albecoiky.

beatus12's picture

just simply appalling Leonardo, how can anyone be

complicit to this evilness...

LeonardoFibonacci's picture

The facts are what they are.....they just luv to chimp out.  And i'm not even racist.  But lawlessness is just in their DNA.

Paul E. Math's picture

WTF?  Seriously, dude, get a life.

buyingsterling's picture

They dont get any 'blacker' than Alan Keyes, Walter Williams, Thomas Sowell, Louis Farakhan. Are they chimps? If you say so, you're blind. The enemy isn't blackness, it's greed, sloth, entitlement, self-conceit, and indulgence.

tamboo's picture

those guys are all jewgroes, without the jew blood theyd be chimps like the rest.

tickhound's picture

I won't sit here and deny statistics... Or pretend that there would be more white dudes in the NBA if there were more basketball hoops in Bumbleweed Suburbia.

But try to judge people for what they do... For what they say... For who they are, as individuals...........Cuz I don't give a fuck what you say, Reggie Middleton kicks fucking ass.  He's smarter than you, he's smarter than me, and he could OWN you if he chose to... You Fucking Fuck.

dolph9's picture

I personally learned alot from sites like chimpout and niggermania, even though they sometimes cross the line.

For example, have you ever wondered why so many blacks have so much to eat, and live in all these houses, even though many of them can barely count?  It's because they are handed food stamps and section 8 vouchers, paid for by all you supposedly enlightened people out there.  The fiat money printing continues the charade.

Ever encountered an incompetent black who clearly was out of their league, even in low level positions?  They are token blacks hired to keep the lawyers away, and they can only be fired for the most egregious, obvious stuff.  This lowers the quality of every place where they work.

Of course, at some point most people learn this on their own.  Whether it's a Teach for America newbie who has to deal with the ghetto schools, the unknowing middle aged people who put grandma in a nursing home full of affirmative action hirees, or simply the people who have to live amongst the worst blacks.  Or maybe someone who was mugged, beaten, robbed, raped, or had a friend or family member killed.

Eventually alot of people figure it out, the other half continue to insist we are "racist" and society is divided, and nobody can work together.

Well done indeed, America.

To all the people out there who claim racism, prove me wrong.  Live with, work with, do business with, befriend the people whom you claim to have nothing but love and tolerance for.  Otherwise, shut the fuck up and leave me alone.

tickhound's picture

Ever wonder why an uber-wealthy fat fuck lives in his 6-car multi-faceted facilitated waste of a mansion?  Cuz people like you are more worried about denying someone who may be lesser than you, for whatever reason (biological, environmental, whatever), than those receiving Section 1,000 vouchers to the nth degree, golden parachutes, deception and crime (albeit more sophisticated).

Point is... If you LEARNED anything from those sites, then you were naive to begin with... Most here live in the real world, and can't deny what we see. 

Want to fight dependancy?  Want to fight entitlement?  Want to fight affirmative action for those people MORONS like you believe deserving?  Then wake up.  This isn't about racism.  You make it about that.  This is about fraud, on a level that crushes ANYTHING you can present to me based on biology. 

Bring it, bitch. 

awkward squad's picture

I see we Jews have taught you white Goys well....we must fight racism wherever we see it! Race? There is no such thing!

tickhound's picture

Read my post again, uber-jew.

Pladizow's picture

I'm sorry Mr. Kreiger, I am a Harvard PHD - I dont understand, could you please explain?

Doña K's picture

Problem is that they are all so terrified with the truth that they block it out. They just don't want to accept it.

That explains the expression "bitter truth" 

Nascent_Variable's picture

It's also hubris.  These people build their entire sense of selves, not to mention their professional reputations, around being right about everything.

How does someone like that cope with the realization that they haven't just made a few mistakes in their calculations, but rather their basic, underlying assumptions are demonstrably false?

Drunken Monkey's picture

"How does someone like that cope with the realization that they haven't just made a few mistakes in their calculations, but rather their basic, underlying assumptions are demonstrably false?"

Well, if they had any old school honor they would take a one way walk in the woods with a bottle of good wiskey and their fathers duling pistol, but that's way too much to hope for these days.

Henry Chinaski's picture

Hubris is one of my favorite universal themes... and so apropos in these times.

In ancient Greece, hubris (ancient Greek ?????) referred to actions that shamed and humiliated the victim for the pleasure or gratification of the abuser.[1] The term had a strong sexual connotation, and the shame reflected on the perpetrator as well. It was most evident in the public and private actions of the powerful and rich. The word was also used to describe actions of those who challenged the gods or their laws, especially in Greek tragedy, resulting in the protagonist's fall.


Five minutes bitches!

mtomato2's picture

Math is the final abuser.  Always has been, always will be.


MATH, Bitchez.

Seer's picture

You're correct.  They've been bruoght up to believe that they're the exceptional ones and that they are responsible for the fate of others.  Of course, this allows them to live the high life, but they're earning it, really!

None of us here grew up knowing everything.  I didn't get most of what's going on until a bit later on in life.

When one is totally immersed in a paradigm one is totally immersed.  The trees are in the way!

Killer the Buzzard's picture

No selling drugs to kids!  That's an infamnia.

IAmNotMark's picture

Is this a comedy, tradegy, or documentry?

I guess it was all three.  I liked the Marx brothers more.

GenX Investor's picture

It's all three, kinda like Capitalism: A Love Story meets Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.  The both got it wrong, but it was fun to watch.

TeamDepends's picture

Obama aka Barry Soetero aka Harrison J. Bounel aka Bari M. Shabazz is the right men for the job.

Chief KnocAHoma's picture

(bowing to the audience) Thank you... thank you... I'll be here all week. Be sure to fondle your waitress!


I am The Chief!

knukles's picture

Avioding #'s?  I was of the impression that CNBS only avoided news.

disabledvet's picture

Yeah no shit. How dumb do you think we are down here Mikey? The fact is all this Kick the Caan down the road bullshit doesn't represent an economic threat to the US is because there in the death throes of Bailout Nations instead of the USA's, well--I wouldn't call it mere since now every one knows bailouts fail too--successful bailout of Wall Street. The euro landers couldn't even handle a 5 billion dollar CDS. We had to deal with an 80 billion dollar one at Phuck nuts AIG! Anywho I would agree "there are security issues." and since I hate war and the people who start them with a passion (CN plucking N and Anderson Cooper--yeah that's right--I'm watching you phucker) I don't like what's going on over there and have an...enraged interest in it.

Seer's picture

Not in defense of the Euro Cluster Fuck, but they've got several countries acting in their own interest, whereas the US only has one.  Ah, the failings of democracy!

It's all pointed at the edge of the cliff, just that some will get there faster than others.

The EU will fragment.  So too will the US.

GoinFawr's picture

eventually, that might be for the best anyway, no?

kaiserhoff's picture

Quite right, but I think only Germany's vote counts.

Ancona's picture

Very well said sir.

I'll do the same thing in one sentence:

We're fucking screwed.

tempo's picture

Its clear sailing until Thanksgiving with the market breaking out about 1260 spx because there is no hard news, just rumors.

Divided States of America's picture

Yeah well in 5 minutes, the algos can pump the SPX up 20 points!

Ruffcut's picture

It takes less than that on a good porn site.

Syrin's picture

It only takes five minutes...


See, this is my point.   I am an MD, and much of what is discussed here is beyond my limited knowledge, yet I can still see the structural flaws as clear as day.   What baffles me is why others are so blind to the OBVIOUS ?!?!   If I can read the thoughts of bright financial minds, look at numbers, underdstand the basics of how an economy works (thanks Mises), then why can't others?   People I know that I consider very bright are in denial or are ignorant.  It's somehwat surreal.   I have given up trying to educate.   People hear what they want and no more.   I think it's willful ignorance for many.

Pool Shark's picture




"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair


SPONGE's picture

It's called cognitive dissonance

Bastiat's picture

It's called knowing where your bread's buttered.  When you can't deal with how that conflicts with your idea of yourself and the world, then it's called cognitive dissonance.

Orange Pekoe's picture

People are so greedy and so stupid they will believe anything if they think it gets them what they want. The bigger the greed and stupidity, the bigger the lies they will believe and tell. Unless they figure out a better thing to want and a better way to get it. In other words, people are dumb monkeys.

“Education is teaching our children to desire the right things.” 



To wit, the monkey trap: 



monkey trap (plural monkey traps)

  1. (literally, probably folk-lore) A cage containing a banana with a hole large enough for a monkey's hand to fit in, but not large enough for a monkey's fist (clutching a banana) to come out. Used to "catch" monkeys that lack the intellect to let go of the banana and run away.
  2. (figuratively) A clever trap of any sort, that owes its success to the ineptitude or gullibility of the victim.




I am sure that monkey totally believed he could get that banana. (haha)