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A Modest Proposal To Boost US GDP By $852 Quadrillion: Build The Imperial Death Star

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since at this point US society is irrevocably split into two camps, on one hand those who believe Keynesian propaganda, where the only cure for unsustainable debt is more debt, and on the other those who believe that a return to a gold standard is the only way to prevent an epic socio-political collapse, also known in official US circles as "extremists", and since we know that the status quo will never let the latter get their way without a fight (quite literally and quite violently), it is only logical that 'if you can't beat them you have to join them'. In which case we believe that instead of breaking windows, or starting wars, or even expecting a growth boosting alien invasion that would lead to a surge in GDP that may or may not come, one should not only go for broke, but do so in style. As such we propose that the US, already the world's most expansionist and aggressive foreign policy power, not like there is anything wrong with that of course - it is all for the sake of liberating oppressed foreign oil, should one up itself and build the true symbol of its contemporary socio-historical status: the Imperial Death Star. Yet the real benefit in addition to blowing up various alien world that refuse to bail out the world's central bank confederacy, is that the cost of construction of said Keynesian masterpiece, would be an epic $852 quadrillion, which in turn would go straight to US GDP.

Now naturally since this entire amount would have to be debt funded, and since MMT tells us that America can issue any amount of debt without a hitch, it would only make sense that the US Treasury should sell $852 quadrillion in bonds at a few basis points in interest (negative rates if possible) post haste, and use the proceeds to construct said engineering marvel. Since modern economic theory tells us that every dollar in incremental debt is roughly equivalent to a dollar in GDP (as idiotic as that sounds), this would result in what can only be called the greatest golden age in the history of America, whose GDP would rise by over 56,000 times overnight to a little over $852,000,000,000,000,000, and all American citizens would be the richest (nominally of course, after all that is all that matters) not only in the world, but potentially in the known galaxy, overnight.

Alternatively, in the highly improbable case that the US can't issue this entire amount at sub 1% rates, and if the US Treasury finds that even the shadow banking black hole that is State Street and BoNY is unable to sweep $852 quadrillion in US debt that would have to be issued and promptly repoed back to mysterious and benevolent "actors", all America would have to do is find an alien world that would be willing to buy said amount of US debt, with Use of Proceeds solely to build the most destructive weapon in the history of the galaxy, take the money, build the station, and then use the Death Star on said gullible alien planet.

Because as Stalin would say if he were alive today to see what true central planning is: "Death is the solution to all problems - no alien, no problem."

Like that, poof - immediate debt discharge, even as the US is still long one Empirial Death Star.

And that is how you grow GDP by 56,000x overnight and #WinTheFuture.

 

As for the actual details of how one builds said Death Star we turn it over to Centives:

 

How Much Would it Cost to build the Death Star?

Building a massive space weapon is all very well, but you have to find the materials to build it with. It's easy to say that "sure, the Death Star would be expensive" but is there actually enough iron in the Earth to make the first Death Star? Centives decided to find out.

We began by loo king at how big the Death Star is. The first one is reported to be 140km in diameter and it sure looks like it's made of steel. But how much steel? We decided to model the Death Star as having a similar density in steel as a modern warship. After all, they're both essentially floating weapons platforms so that seems reasonable.

Name: HMS Illustrious

Volume: 28,591.2 m3

Mass: 22,000 tonnes

 

Scaling up to the Death Star, this is about 1.08x1015 tonnes of steel. 1 with fifteen zeros.

Which seems like a colossal mass but we've calculated that from the iron in the earth, you could make just over 2 billion Death Stars. You see the Earth's crust may have a limited amount of iron, but the core is mostly our favourite metal and is both very big and very dense, and it's from here that most of our death-star iron would come.

Name: Death Star

Volume: 1,440,000 kilometres3

Mass: 1.08 x 1015 tonnes

 But, before you go off to start building your apocalyptic weapon, do bear in mind two things. Firstly, the two billion death stars is mostly from the Earth's core which we would all really rather you didn't remove. And secondly, at today's rate of steel production (1.3 billion tonnes annually), it would take 833,315 years to produce enough steel to begin work. So once someone notices what you're up to, you have to fend them off for 800 millennia before you have a chance to fight back. In context, it takes under an hour to get the steel for HMS Illustrious.

Oh, and the cost of the steel alone? At 2012 prices, about $852,000,000,000,000,000. Or roughly 13,000 times the world's GDP.*

But then again, you can just take out a loan from the entire planet and then default on them in the most awesome way possible.

 

Read more here

 

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Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:33 | 2190890 redpill
redpill's picture

Do you realize how much freedom and democracy we can fire into brown people across the universe with this thing?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:35 | 2190902 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Scaling up to the Death Star, this is about 1.08x1015 tonnes of steel.

According to some, oil is abiotic and essentailly limitless,  so just build it out of plastic instead of steel. 

Must I always do the heavy thinking around here?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2190927 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Actually, the Earth only evolved humans so we could produce plastic for the Earth. The original thesis was that this was for plastic shopping bags, but I think you might have unconvered the Earth's true intent; a plastic death star.

Regards,

Cooter

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2190948 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

RIP george Carlin

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:31 | 2191105 redpill
redpill's picture

They should build it out of gold, we only keep it around for tradition anyway...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:36 | 2191117 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Whatever the material, Apple will build it.  It's called the iDeathStar....oh and they can throw ina a new one with more gadgets every couple months.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:55 | 2191175 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Star Wars trilogy more catered to youth.

 In the films, which depict Darth Vader as a blonde child who is quietly touted to be the coming Messiah among Jedi (Templar-like), he also has a magical 'royal bloodline' that will aid in his later supernatural powers, and yet as much as he is protected and seen as good, he has a dark destiny surrounding him. As the trilogy unfolds, we see that two distinct events occur which later lead Anakin toward the Dark Side. They are: 1) The death of his mother, which caused him to have a life of unresolved anger. 2)That same anger was later channeled into him indirectly killing his new wife when he believed her to have violated their trust.

The trilogy then ends with Anakin turning completely evil, a black, Nazi-like helmet placed over his head, even as he is given a new name Darth Vader. Darth an anagram derived from Le Morte D'Arthur, and Vader in German is akin to Feurer, i.e, invoking Adolph Hitler. *George Lucas did say Star Wars was the retelling of the Arthurian saga and yet apparently, the Jew-murdering Nazi's, as well.] Moreover, while William's temperamental personality can just as easily disintegrate, as it has shown to before, whatever sad event that could take Kate would at the same time only further cause the world to feel even more sympathy toward William, once again evoking his mother. Therefore it would only propel Antichrist that much deeper into the collective heart of the world if something dire would happen to Kate Middleton

And if Kate Middleton just happens to have twins - one boy and one girl...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:23 | 2191245 nodoctor
nodoctor's picture

I would guess this is actually pretty close as far as scenarios go. I have often figured Wills for the only real chance at a saviour.  He could just as easily be the scourge.  The good citizens need to find another party with legitimate claim.  What is AIM up to anymore?

Tue, 05/15/2012 - 09:38 | 2426580 Donnie Duvanie
Donnie Duvanie's picture

This will require a lot of smoke and mirrors - invest in smoke and mirrors, NOW!

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 06:49 | 2192140 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

as my nephew teaches me: the complete Star Wars saga is about a Republic that fell slowly into corruption, had problems with Rebels because for all purposes it was already an Empire dominating lots of vassals, it just did not want to admit it.

meanwhle the autonomous Trade Federation was busy squeezing one planet after the other, for all purposes creating further corruption and further rebellion, until the whole thing started to break, became fascist and went on in the saga as the Empire

does it sound like anything we are experiencing? hint: our Trade Federation is the Global Banking Cartel

signed

Han Solo

Sat, 02/25/2012 - 14:06 | 2195828 Mox E
Mox E's picture

It's actually based on a bunch of different mythology.  Look into Joseph Campbell's work.  After Star Wars came out, JC called George Lucas his, "greatest student".  Once you understand the JC relationship, Star Wars becomes a masterpiece.  

References to things like the Trade Federation, etc are actually references to the American Civil War.  These references don't appear until the later trilogy (ep.1, 2, and 3).  These are actually references to the American Civil War.  In fact, the evil Senator/Emporer Palpatine is modeled after Abraham Lincoln with several lines lifted directly from Lincoln's speaches: "I shall raise a grand army of the Republic and squash the separatists!", etc, etc.  So yes, Star Wars, at least the later trilogy, is about the fall of a Republic, but not in current terms.  It appears that Lucas believes the Republic collapsed during the war of northern aggression.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:09 | 2191207 Ceteris paribus
Ceteris paribus's picture

NASA has proved that the moon is hollow and made of titanium and on the dark side of it are thousands of docking stations for what no one knows ,so all will have to do is hijack it and problem solved . For anyone that does not belive me go recerch it ,its kind of strange. When they slamed the satalite into the moons surface it rang like a bell for about 15 minuites.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:18 | 2191226 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Ah yes - NASA, the occult organization

 

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:55 | 2190991 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Also, if you built it out of plastic, you'd be able to sneak it through metal detectors!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:08 | 2191032 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

Lord James of Blackheath: 15 Trillion Dollar Fraud Exposed in UK Parliment

Trillion Dollar Terror Exposed: Bush, Fed, and European Banks in $15 Trillion Fraud, All Documented http://theintelhub.com/2012/02/23/trillion-dollar-terror-exposed-bush-fed-and...

Lord James of Blackheath has spoken in the House of Lords holding evidence of three transactions of 5 Trillion each and a transaction of 750,000 metric tonnes of gold and has called for an investigation.

From:
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld201212/ldhansrd/text/120216-0002.h...

Thanks to YouTube User 91177info
http://www.youtube.com/user/91177info

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:16 | 2191053 bdc63
bdc63's picture

so, any idea how I can get in on the Death Star IPO? ...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:50 | 2191156 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Hear tell that the Giant Squid (Goldman Sachs not Admiral Ackbar) is lead underwriter. 

Ackbar is still pissed he got pushed down so far on the tombstone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOaROFFhpL4&feature=player_detailpage

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:29 | 2191392 sof_hannibal
sof_hannibal's picture

Death Star bubble; it will never be profitable even if Zanga builds a jedi app tracker... will outsource production to Foxconn

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:44 | 2191735 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

^^^ Do you realize what you've done there? That right there is one of the most sophisticated things I have ever read, saving it for future study . And the context and where it was found as well.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 02:48 | 2191942 Whiner
Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:33 | 2191544 BigJim
BigJim's picture

That is some weird shit right there.

And remember the Foundation X tale about the people who were 'still operating on the gold standard' and wanted to give Britain billions of dollars? Same dude, Lord James of Blackheath...

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld201011/ldhansrd/text/101101-0...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:13 | 2191046 Manthong
Manthong's picture

We could make it out of brass..

We would just need to harvest one testicle each from Nancy Pelosi and Janet Napolitano.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:24 | 2191079 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

We could just build it out of derivatives. It's as good as the real thing.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:38 | 2191132 Christophe2
Christophe2's picture

Or, as with the moon 'landings', we can bill the people for the work and then just offer a bogus movie/pics at the finale.  I'm sure the movie aliens we blow up will be very engaging!

=> sure, some people will notice and create websites exposing the fraud, but by then 800 millenia of fake expenses will be just another fait accompli...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2191133 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:31 | 2191394 sof_hannibal
sof_hannibal's picture

Leveraged death star futures

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:34 | 2191548 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Think how much money you could create using that thing as collateral! I'm pretty sure it would be good for a few iterations of rehypothecation, too.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:43 | 2191581 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

A bank would be able to lend something like 7,668 quadrillion with the death star as collateral using proper fractional reserve tricks. We could build 9 more death stars if we only managed to build one! And then on to infinity! This could save us all!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:36 | 2191116 dugorama
dugorama's picture

how about a drone remotely piloted version?  they claim we'd save money

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:48 | 2191166 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Or, the taxpayer pays for the metal deathstar which is appropriated by the 1% and a substitute plastic deathstar is given back the the public sector since it is the same after all.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:57 | 2190999 margaris
margaris's picture

why not build a death star BALLOON?

Should be easier and may still scare the shit out of alien protesters who refuse to pay interest to the UMF (universal monetary fund)...

Also a balloon could be inflated/deflated by grand moff bernankin with admirable prevision.

...

After all, even a 10^15 tonne death star can be destroyed by shooting a small laser into a hole.... so why not skip the pain of such a monumental endeavour and go with a balloon?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:13 | 2191043 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Did I just hear you say "Project Bluebeam"?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:01 | 2191190 margaris
margaris's picture

No, but I was envisioning NWO-shill michio kaku as the architect of the death star balloon...

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 09:38 | 2192316 Element
Element's picture

That could provision sufficient thrust if we blurted it out the back-end and made some horrendously rude sounds with it.  But there may not be much left when point A gets nearer to point B.  How do we re-inflate it?  Perhaps hydroponic raised lentil-soup offers an integrated solution?  Wouldn't want that stuff in an enclosed space though, you could get a second sun.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:18 | 2191063 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Not to be technical, but it wasn't a laser that destroyed the death star, it was a missile.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:26 | 2191084 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Not to be geeky, but technically it was a torpedo.  The second Death Star was destroyed by blaster fire.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:16 | 2191490 Snapperton
Snapperton's picture

Let's up the geek factor and say it was actually a proton torpedo, but who's fact checking here?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:21 | 2317927 MoneyPowerWomen
MoneyPowerWomen's picture

did you actually check this? because my understanding all along is that it was a photon torpedo. Or have I been infected by a star trek meme?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2191135 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:04 | 2191021 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Maybe this is why Bush stole the 15trillion? He was just getting a jump on the death star budget!

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2012/02/21/intel-exclusive-trillion-dollar-terror-exposed/

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:44 | 2191153 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

I just saw you posted this!

so all credit too YOU! even though! I didnt see you post it!

but I give it all to you cause you beat me fair and square by 4 minutes!

Congrats on a GREAT! story! and the Grab!

I tip my hat to You Fine Sir!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:49 | 2191742 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

Jdub, i'm telling you bush clan has been in power since nixon. up to and including obarry.  bush clan is now one of the players of the world, heavy. but you know this already. theyre still running the show. they own obama, they own clintons.  they own a lot of people. they're not as big as say a red shield, but maybe 1 or 2 levels just beneath.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:06 | 2191027 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

Do you realize the savings that would result in as we would save so much energy by only lugging plastic to space rather than steel...  That would return maybe $2 for every $1 dollar in debt, thereby doubling GDP and halfing the amount of bonds you would need to sell to aliens...  This just gets better and better.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:30 | 2191087 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Yo h_h, I got your back.

Better idea - snag Apple's patent on big glass and build it out of sand.  Instead of death star call it iKill.

Bullish on deserts and drought!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:35 | 2191550 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Building my own at my prepper compound in rural Montana. Filling it with guns, ammo, dried food and silver coins. Prepared to launch upon hearing the news of the next Black Swan financial reset news event. Wish me luck!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2190928 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

The designers of the death star really need to locate the JPM and GS computers on deck with the captain.  

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:16 | 2191054 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Hopefully the opening to that utility tunnel will be smaller than the size of a wamprat this time...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:26 | 2191083 viahj
viahj's picture

just cover it with plywood

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:06 | 2190963 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

above proposal is much TOO MODEST. Boosting US GDP anything less than Infinity to the Nth is futile as this 'MeriKa Black Hole is utterly insatiable.

 

PS how much is carbon and epoxy and what are those rates of production? BC carbon fiber would be the Death Star's obsidian building tools, not so much steel. And a lot of aluminum too...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:38 | 2191126 Strelok
Strelok's picture

Do you realize how much freedom and democracy we can fire into brown people across the universe with this thing?

Omg, that was so funny some food I was eating came out  of my mouth.  That is a very rare occurance.  Totally caugh me off guard...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:08 | 2191204 jplotinus
jplotinus's picture

The thing already exists and has been used on occasion. Check back with me if you need examples of usage.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:11 | 2191213 masterinchancery
masterinchancery's picture

Yeah, but wait until we run into the blogonian confederacy, with its gamma ray burster death thingy, and our entire galaxy is turned into microwave background noise.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 05:00 | 2192042 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

Protecting and serving the shit out of our citizens!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:29 | 2190893 knicks3005
knicks3005's picture

You sunk my battleship bitchezzz!!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:31 | 2190894 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Bummer about NASA. I guess the Chinese will beat everyone to it...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:30 | 2190896 AC_Doctor
AC_Doctor's picture

What would Yoda say?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:33 | 2190906 redpill
redpill's picture

Full of Keynesians the Dark Side is

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:37 | 2190923 prains
prains's picture

phasers to stun

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:39 | 2190938 tmosley
tmosley's picture

It was as if millions of fanboys cried out all at once, then suddenly had their underwear pulled over their heads.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:47 | 2190964 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

When the music stops in terms of liquidity, things will get complicated. But as long as the music is playing, you've got to get up and dance. We're still dancing. - Chuck Prince Yoda

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:05 | 2191022 I Got Worms
I Got Worms's picture

Can Barney Frank play Jabba the Hut in this movie?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:40 | 2191124 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Barney's closeup is posted above.  View in a beverage free zone.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:23 | 2191075 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Trust the Farce Luke.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:43 | 2191830 geekgrrl
geekgrrl's picture

Once you start down the debt path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:31 | 2190897 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Why buy one when you can buy two for just twice the price?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:33 | 2191108 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Don't worry bout the junker TM, they had an irony (humour or sarcasm) by-pass

probably Trav, he has all 3 on a bad day

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:25 | 2191798 trav7777
trav7777's picture

I never junk anyone except Tyler

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:32 | 2190900 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

Is it Imperial Death Star or iMperial Death Star.  Apple is certainly already working on this.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:43 | 2190935 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

So THAT is where Cook is planning to sink the leftover AAPL cash for the benefit of the shareholders!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you our next gov-approved product 

 

I-DEATHSTAR

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:32 | 2190901 Rusty.Shackleford
Rusty.Shackleford's picture

IT'S A TRAP!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2190925 prains
prains's picture

iSet

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2190950 chet
chet's picture

That thing's operational!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2190955 redpill
redpill's picture

iTrap

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:35 | 2191111 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

looks remarkably like Microsofts business plan of the last 20 years

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 03:23 | 2191974 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

We can't repel liquidity of that magnitude!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:33 | 2190904 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

The elite have already turned the world into a self-contained Death Star that eats itself like an Ouroborous.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:34 | 2190910 RealFinney
RealFinney's picture

The only question is will it be more over it's $852,000,000,000,000,000 budget than it is over it's 800,000,000 year project timescale.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:36 | 2190919 tmosley
tmosley's picture

So you're saying it's not "shovel ready"?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2191130 GernB
GernB's picture

 

Yea, they probably won't account for the millions of $436 hammers it will take to make it. However, it's fairly easy to bring it into schedule. Assuming approximately 20 man hours per gross ton of steel it would take 5.4x10^13 man hours, so the original time estimate would include only 67,500 people working on it. If we increase that so that 675,000,000 people are working on it (only 1 in 10 people on earth) we could pull the schedule in by a factor of 10,000. We could complete the death star in a meer 80 millennium, and if the schedule slips a few millenium whose going to care.

 

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 04:56 | 2192041 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

No way.  You are describing a scaled up version of making a baby in one month with 9 pregnant women.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:34 | 2190912 taniquetil
taniquetil's picture

"This is exactly what I've been saying for years. ZeroHedge, stop plagarizing my ideas and calling them your own, you are nothing original."

 

-Paul "Nobel Prize" Krugman, Professional Blogger

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:35 | 2190913 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

This is Paul Krugman's wet dream

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:36 | 2191122 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Yes indeedy: destruction = wealth

or 'socialism' to give it correct title

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:42 | 2191145 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Aye, and Krugman will see nothing wrong with $100,000 toilet seats, either (broken window and all that).

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:35 | 2190914 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Luke, I am your FATHER.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:36 | 2190916 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

Use the force, Bitchez!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:02 | 2191015 Zappalives
Zappalives's picture

You have no idea of the power of the dark side.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:36 | 2190917 Diamond Jim
Diamond Jim's picture

just think of the jobs it would generate. We could mine the moon for the resources....

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:58 | 2190994 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

A junior congressman refusing to vote for the Death Star spending bill was tossed into Barney Frank's...uhmmmm...errrr....

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:01 | 2191008 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

Post of the day!!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:04 | 2191338 prains
prains's picture

gaping maw

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:09 | 2191014 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The spice must flow.

Heads or tails?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:08 | 2191031 thruid
thruid's picture

Poor bastard is being used as a human gerble !

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:12 | 2191041 Awakened Sheeple
Awakened Sheeple's picture

The target area is only two meters wide

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:27 | 2191800 trav7777
trav7777's picture

R O T F L

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:37 | 2190920 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Seems a little steep , price wise ..... think they'd settle for 850 ?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2190926 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

fantastic idea

First JFK pissed away $Billions on an ego trip to the fuking moon (worthless), then Reagan on Star Wars defence systems that never materialised (useless)

2 huge financial frauds and the US Govt are looking at this idea (very seriously) for a 3rd (no rest for taxpayers)

Govt: the dumbest organisation in history (ZH shouldn't give these village idiots ideas)

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:49 | 2190974 Whiner
Whiner's picture

Now, now. Remember Teflon which with a good movie came out of the moon shot technology, and Regan, Thatcher and Pope Paul bankrupted the USSR, so we got that Goin for us. Just lotsa' stuff which today woul cost even more.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:07 | 2191028 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Let's make sure we get all the contractors hired from the Big Dig, those guys sure know how to come in right on budget!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:14 | 2191042 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Your forgetting the Moonbase Gingrich.    

A few trillion, and it will never pass the EPA review, moon's lack of climate means environmental degradation will last beyond expected civilization.    

Plus the moon is too white, never pass unless a similar but equal base is built on a "black" moon.

An Venus would need a base too.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:50 | 2191746 atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

You don't think there are operational orbital battlestations right now?  All that "R&D" money for secret weapons that supposedly have never worked is in my view the ops money to keep the system running.  In the 60s they could knock down incoming warheads; see Project Safeguard.  If they could do it in 1964 they can do it now.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:39 | 2190933 Kassandra
Kassandra's picture

I have a bad feeling about this...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:39 | 2190936 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

Emperor Obama, Darth Blankfein and a bunch of Illuminati guards protecting the universe from rebels hiding in the Zerohedge system. Death to the rebel scum!!!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:40 | 2190940 Rainman
Rainman's picture

I once smoked some of that Death Star too....but only once. Just say no bitchez.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:32 | 2191265 NuckingFuts
NuckingFuts's picture

I once dropped some Death Star acid that was going around in the early 90's.  To the Moon Bitchez.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:41 | 2190942 PaperBear
PaperBear's picture

Pretty soon $852 Quadrillion will be the price of a cup of coffee.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 00:55 | 2191846 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Damn.  How much for an 8-ball of coke and a hooker for the night?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:15 | 2192870 Matt
Matt's picture

50 Quintillion Pengo err I mean dollars.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:43 | 2190945 Bullish Bear
Bullish Bear's picture

Death Star 2012!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:43 | 2190946 john39
john39's picture

metaphorically speaking, the U.S. military IS the deathstar.   just compare U.S. military spending to other countries... nothing comes close.   huge surprise that the U.S. is broke, and yet, still trying to start more wars.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2190970 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Govt 101. You have to keep the War Machine warring to justify the War Machines budget... especially when it's head and shoulders the largest (budget) in the world

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:55 | 2190993 Whiner
Whiner's picture

President Ike upon retiring from office after overthrowing Iran's parliament, wrote and speechified for Amercans to beware of the military-industrial complex. He had written " and the banking cartel" but some one convinced him to strike that reference out of his speech, which like a good military man, he did.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:54 | 2190989 AUD
AUD's picture

Was Darth Vader AAA?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2190951 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

but we already built an Imperial Debt Star.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2190973 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Al Gore or Barrack Obama?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:50 | 2190979 malek
malek's picture

the perfect dry humor to me

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:45 | 2190954 ZackLo
ZackLo's picture

Gingrich is already way ahead of you guy , he said so in floriduh!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:05 | 2191019 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

He had a cheap ghetto version of a super-laser mounted on the moon. Borrrrring...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:46 | 2190956 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

That would actually be a sound economic policy by current standards.

 

With said Death Star we can follow a policy of galacticisation where exploitation of other species will allow us to print more money without fear of inflation. Thank goodness that pesky Theory of Relativity was disproven by a loose fiber optic cable or our brilliant economic model might have blown up in our face.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:46 | 2190959 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Krugman bitchez.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:46 | 2190962 chet
chet's picture

Could we bring Darth Cheney out of retirement?

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:23 | 2191377 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Well he is like the 60 million dollar man (my back of the envelope calculations on how much his health care has cost yanks) and he still doesn't have a heart beat. 

So yanks mine as well get their moneys worth, and make him Managing Director of the Death Star. After all he did coin the phrase "deficits don't matter".

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:47 | 2190965 CvlDobd
CvlDobd's picture

Best article ever!

 

Join ZeroHedge and we can rule the galaxy together!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:47 | 2190969 chump666
chump666's picture

thats was f*cking cool post!  Good stuff.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:48 | 2190971 toadold
toadold's picture

The space nerds and sci fi writers have already got this one covered.  You get your materials from the asteroid belt. You start with a large nickel, iron asteroid. Of course I always thought the start up costs would be prohibitive but now you've made that a feature instead of a bug.  Need a good idea for the main gun though.   Start small, something that didn't have to blow up a whole world, just gouge in some new canals, bays, level off some mountain tops, speed up global warming or cooling. 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:05 | 2191023 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

140 km long railgun loaded with a 5,000 ton tungsten bullet would do the job.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:08 | 2191030 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

The actual details are unimportant can be worked out later by highly paid bureaucrats, and UN special commitees.

The main thing is to spend vast amounts of the money ASAP.

Only Paul Krugman, Ben Bernank and Obama can be trusted to keep the money flowing at the rate that will be required, for this ultimate "Guns and Butter" project.

and may the "  farce be with them"...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:49 | 2190975 Internet Tough Guy
Internet Tough Guy's picture

Whatever it takes. I am SO SICK of the rebel alliance. And make sure you protect the vent hole; remember last time??

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:51 | 2190976 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Yea, the last thing we need is Obama floating around in a death star.

It would only add to his megalomania. Stop writing about stuff like this, you'll give him ideas.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:50 | 2190978 Frastric
Frastric's picture

And when we destroy it we build a bigger a one and that's 1000's of quadrillions more to US GDP. And everything will go exactly as it was foreseen...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:51 | 2190982 Debugas
Debugas's picture

one has to really distinguish between two cases - stimulating economy with easy-money when you have production overcapacity and stimulating when you have lack of capacity.

If you have many builders (capable of building dearth stars) you can print money and hire them and have effective production, but when you have no enough builders then printing extra money will simply drive their salaries up.

If you have too many iron production factories you can pump in the money to produce extra iron without increasing production costs and prices (see no inflation) but you want to pump in even more to go above current production capacity limits then it will drive costs up and will start causing inflation.

 

I do believe that in current depressed situation we do need some stimulus but the right amount of it (not too much)

Nobody really knows how much and it is pretty difficult to estimate that is why free market should be given a chance to find the price levels that would balance supply and demand

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:51 | 2190983 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

We could cut production cost by not feeding the workers and contracting it out to china.

 

This would have the added benefit of decreasing world population.

 

We could also cut production time by producing a series of smaller ships (opposed to one giant one) , which will ready a few handful of ships for use ASAP.

 

Then we can go on to conquering mars, with any luck we find a subtaranian civilization there that we can enslave to mine iron from mars (which has more readily available iron deposits than the earth) further boosting GDP.

 

Its actually quite a sensible plan , well atleast it appears so when you compare it side by side with the actual plans being proposed by the govt.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:09 | 2191034 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

If you split up production, the French will demand their piece of the action.   

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:26 | 2191082 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Not true, France would not a part of production as that might involve some risk. French policy is to collect their share of the profits and have Germany assume all of the risk.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:31 | 2191103 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

France will build the exterior cannons that won't fire and the shielding materials made of paper mache.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:58 | 2190988 Catullus
Catullus's picture

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

does that mean we're in the prequels right now and Obama is Jar Jar Binks?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:54 | 2190990 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The death star has already been built. The prototype was a printer. Now it is a computer somewhere deep in the bowels of the Fed. 

William Banzi, take that death star picture and make it lazer print dollars across the face of the earth.

Ink jet fighters of the world UNITE!!!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:57 | 2190998 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

We could get the steel much cheaper if Tyler would start a rumor on the galactic social network that margins were going to be raised.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:59 | 2191001 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

 "Eight hundred and fifty two trillion dollars!"

 "Um, dad -- that's quadrillion."

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:24 | 2192905 Matt
Matt's picture

Talk about low-ball, bound to go over budget bidding. That's just the market price for steel at today's prices, assuming such a large order would not move the price. It's like saying a house will cost $10,000 to build, because that is how much the lumber costs.

I would bet more like $500 Quintillion, as long as printing that amount of money did not cause a loss in purchasing power.

If you created electronic stimulus credits, backed by $100 billion or gold equivelent, and paid the workers and purchased the materials with the credits, you could build the entire thing without diluting the money supply. The credits would be handled by a central database, and if the money is not spent, you lose 10 percent each week. The timer resets when the money moves on to the next person. You remove all normal taxes from the credits, and simply apply an instant 1 percent tax at time of transaction. This money pools back to the project to pay workers and buy more materials. You adjust the decay rate and the percent tax as needed, to hit the desired velocity of money.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:01 | 2191004 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

I'd like to hear Krugman's response.

We should make him head of planning.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:00 | 2191007 Sour Grapes
Sour Grapes's picture

Tlyer,

I think you have mixed up the Keynesian propaganda with the MMT progaganda.

MMTers would say that there is no reason to borrow money at all.  Just print it and spend it.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:01 | 2191010 thruid
thruid's picture

I can already hear the mechanical breathing of Darth Blankfein !

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:07 | 2191024 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Dude, its just like high-speed rail in California.   You don't have to actually build the dam thing, just issue "Death Star" bonds and get in on the planning stage.   Hell, the EPA report on "fries planets in nano-seconds" will be a bureaucrat's dream.

And what's the beta on bonds where the product goes to market about the time the Sun implodes?   Effectivley zero.   Split the bonds into tranches and sell it on late-night TV.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:06 | 2191025 stopcpdotcom
stopcpdotcom's picture

Good idea. Thinking outside the box. I like it.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:10 | 2191035 st0n3dCabbag3
st0n3dCabbag3's picture

"But then again, you can just take out a loan from the entire planet and then default on them in the most awesome way possible."

 

Ahahahahahhahahhahahaahahahahhah

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:17 | 2191058 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

As a storm-trooper in the Emperor's employ, I approve of building the Death Star!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:20 | 2191062 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

If GDP grows 9% per year for 127 years, GDP gets 56,000 times bigger. From the year 2139 we can build one Death Star per year easily. So what is the problem?

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