A Modest Proposal To Boost US GDP By $852 Quadrillion: Build The Imperial Death Star

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since at this point US society is irrevocably split into two camps, on one hand those who believe Keynesian propaganda, where the only cure for unsustainable debt is more debt, and on the other those who believe that a return to a gold standard is the only way to prevent an epic socio-political collapse, also known in official US circles as "extremists", and since we know that the status quo will never let the latter get their way without a fight (quite literally and quite violently), it is only logical that 'if you can't beat them you have to join them'. In which case we believe that instead of breaking windows, or starting wars, or even expecting a growth boosting alien invasion that would lead to a surge in GDP that may or may not come, one should not only go for broke, but do so in style. As such we propose that the US, already the world's most expansionist and aggressive foreign policy power, not like there is anything wrong with that of course - it is all for the sake of liberating oppressed foreign oil, should one up itself and build the true symbol of its contemporary socio-historical status: the Imperial Death Star. Yet the real benefit in addition to blowing up various alien world that refuse to bail out the world's central bank confederacy, is that the cost of construction of said Keynesian masterpiece, would be an epic $852 quadrillion, which in turn would go straight to US GDP.

Now naturally since this entire amount would have to be debt funded, and since MMT tells us that America can issue any amount of debt without a hitch, it would only make sense that the US Treasury should sell $852 quadrillion in bonds at a few basis points in interest (negative rates if possible) post haste, and use the proceeds to construct said engineering marvel. Since modern economic theory tells us that every dollar in incremental debt is roughly equivalent to a dollar in GDP (as idiotic as that sounds), this would result in what can only be called the greatest golden age in the history of America, whose GDP would rise by over 56,000 times overnight to a little over $852,000,000,000,000,000, and all American citizens would be the richest (nominally of course, after all that is all that matters) not only in the world, but potentially in the known galaxy, overnight.

Alternatively, in the highly improbable case that the US can't issue this entire amount at sub 1% rates, and if the US Treasury finds that even the shadow banking black hole that is State Street and BoNY is unable to sweep $852 quadrillion in US debt that would have to be issued and promptly repoed back to mysterious and benevolent "actors", all America would have to do is find an alien world that would be willing to buy said amount of US debt, with Use of Proceeds solely to build the most destructive weapon in the history of the galaxy, take the money, build the station, and then use the Death Star on said gullible alien planet.

Because as Stalin would say if he were alive today to see what true central planning is: "Death is the solution to all problems - no alien, no problem."

Like that, poof - immediate debt discharge, even as the US is still long one Empirial Death Star.

And that is how you grow GDP by 56,000x overnight and #WinTheFuture.

 

As for the actual details of how one builds said Death Star we turn it over to Centives:

 

How Much Would it Cost to build the Death Star?

Building a massive space weapon is all very well, but you have to find the materials to build it with. It's easy to say that "sure, the Death Star would be expensive" but is there actually enough iron in the Earth to make the first Death Star? Centives decided to find out.

We began by loo king at how big the Death Star is. The first one is reported to be 140km in diameter and it sure looks like it's made of steel. But how much steel? We decided to model the Death Star as having a similar density in steel as a modern warship. After all, they're both essentially floating weapons platforms so that seems reasonable.

Name: HMS Illustrious

Volume: 28,591.2 m3

Mass: 22,000 tonnes

 

Scaling up to the Death Star, this is about 1.08x1015 tonnes of steel. 1 with fifteen zeros.

Which seems like a colossal mass but we've calculated that from the iron in the earth, you could make just over 2 billion Death Stars. You see the Earth's crust may have a limited amount of iron, but the core is mostly our favourite metal and is both very big and very dense, and it's from here that most of our death-star iron would come.

Name: Death Star

Volume: 1,440,000 kilometres3

Mass: 1.08 x 1015 tonnes

 But, before you go off to start building your apocalyptic weapon, do bear in mind two things. Firstly, the two billion death stars is mostly from the Earth's core which we would all really rather you didn't remove. And secondly, at today's rate of steel production (1.3 billion tonnes annually), it would take 833,315 years to produce enough steel to begin work. So once someone notices what you're up to, you have to fend them off for 800 millennia before you have a chance to fight back. In context, it takes under an hour to get the steel for HMS Illustrious.

Oh, and the cost of the steel alone? At 2012 prices, about $852,000,000,000,000,000. Or roughly 13,000 times the world's GDP.*

But then again, you can just take out a loan from the entire planet and then default on them in the most awesome way possible.

 

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Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:33 | 2190890 redpill
redpill's picture

Do you realize how much freedom and democracy we can fire into brown people across the universe with this thing?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:35 | 2190902 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Scaling up to the Death Star, this is about 1.08x1015 tonnes of steel.

According to some, oil is abiotic and essentailly limitless,  so just build it out of plastic instead of steel. 

Must I always do the heavy thinking around here?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2190927 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Actually, the Earth only evolved humans so we could produce plastic for the Earth. The original thesis was that this was for plastic shopping bags, but I think you might have unconvered the Earth's true intent; a plastic death star.

Regards,

Cooter

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:44 | 2190948 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

RIP george Carlin

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:31 | 2191105 redpill
redpill's picture

They should build it out of gold, we only keep it around for tradition anyway...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:36 | 2191117 Hard1
Hard1's picture

Whatever the material, Apple will build it.  It's called the iDeathStar....oh and they can throw ina a new one with more gadgets every couple months.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:55 | 2191175 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Star Wars trilogy more catered to youth.

 In the films, which depict Darth Vader as a blonde child who is quietly touted to be the coming Messiah among Jedi (Templar-like), he also has a magical 'royal bloodline' that will aid in his later supernatural powers, and yet as much as he is protected and seen as good, he has a dark destiny surrounding him. As the trilogy unfolds, we see that two distinct events occur which later lead Anakin toward the Dark Side. They are: 1) The death of his mother, which caused him to have a life of unresolved anger. 2)That same anger was later channeled into him indirectly killing his new wife when he believed her to have violated their trust.

The trilogy then ends with Anakin turning completely evil, a black, Nazi-like helmet placed over his head, even as he is given a new name Darth Vader. Darth an anagram derived from Le Morte D'Arthur, and Vader in German is akin to Feurer, i.e, invoking Adolph Hitler. *George Lucas did say Star Wars was the retelling of the Arthurian saga and yet apparently, the Jew-murdering Nazi's, as well.] Moreover, while William's temperamental personality can just as easily disintegrate, as it has shown to before, whatever sad event that could take Kate would at the same time only further cause the world to feel even more sympathy toward William, once again evoking his mother. Therefore it would only propel Antichrist that much deeper into the collective heart of the world if something dire would happen to Kate Middleton

And if Kate Middleton just happens to have twins - one boy and one girl...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:23 | 2191245 nodoctor
nodoctor's picture

I would guess this is actually pretty close as far as scenarios go. I have often figured Wills for the only real chance at a saviour.  He could just as easily be the scourge.  The good citizens need to find another party with legitimate claim.  What is AIM up to anymore?

Tue, 05/15/2012 - 09:38 | 2426580 Donnie Duvanie
Donnie Duvanie's picture

This will require a lot of smoke and mirrors - invest in smoke and mirrors, NOW!

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 06:49 | 2192140 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

as my nephew teaches me: the complete Star Wars saga is about a Republic that fell slowly into corruption, had problems with Rebels because for all purposes it was already an Empire dominating lots of vassals, it just did not want to admit it.

meanwhle the autonomous Trade Federation was busy squeezing one planet after the other, for all purposes creating further corruption and further rebellion, until the whole thing started to break, became fascist and went on in the saga as the Empire

does it sound like anything we are experiencing? hint: our Trade Federation is the Global Banking Cartel

signed

Han Solo

Sat, 02/25/2012 - 14:06 | 2195828 Mox E
Mox E's picture

It's actually based on a bunch of different mythology.  Look into Joseph Campbell's work.  After Star Wars came out, JC called George Lucas his, "greatest student".  Once you understand the JC relationship, Star Wars becomes a masterpiece.  

References to things like the Trade Federation, etc are actually references to the American Civil War.  These references don't appear until the later trilogy (ep.1, 2, and 3).  These are actually references to the American Civil War.  In fact, the evil Senator/Emporer Palpatine is modeled after Abraham Lincoln with several lines lifted directly from Lincoln's speaches: "I shall raise a grand army of the Republic and squash the separatists!", etc, etc.  So yes, Star Wars, at least the later trilogy, is about the fall of a Republic, but not in current terms.  It appears that Lucas believes the Republic collapsed during the war of northern aggression.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:09 | 2191207 Ceteris paribus
Ceteris paribus's picture

NASA has proved that the moon is hollow and made of titanium and on the dark side of it are thousands of docking stations for what no one knows ,so all will have to do is hijack it and problem solved . For anyone that does not belive me go recerch it ,its kind of strange. When they slamed the satalite into the moons surface it rang like a bell for about 15 minuites.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:18 | 2191226 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Ah yes - NASA, the occult organization

 

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:55 | 2190991 mick_richfield
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Also, if you built it out of plastic, you'd be able to sneak it through metal detectors!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:08 | 2191032 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

Lord James of Blackheath: 15 Trillion Dollar Fraud Exposed in UK Parliment

Trillion Dollar Terror Exposed: Bush, Fed, and European Banks in $15 Trillion Fraud, All Documented http://theintelhub.com/2012/02/23/trillion-dollar-terror-exposed-bush-fed-and...

Lord James of Blackheath has spoken in the House of Lords holding evidence of three transactions of 5 Trillion each and a transaction of 750,000 metric tonnes of gold and has called for an investigation.

From:
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld201212/ldhansrd/text/120216-0002.h...

Thanks to YouTube User 91177info
http://www.youtube.com/user/91177info

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:16 | 2191053 bdc63
bdc63's picture

so, any idea how I can get in on the Death Star IPO? ...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:50 | 2191156 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Hear tell that the Giant Squid (Goldman Sachs not Admiral Ackbar) is lead underwriter. 

Ackbar is still pissed he got pushed down so far on the tombstone...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOaROFFhpL4&feature=player_detailpage

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:29 | 2191392 sof_hannibal
sof_hannibal's picture

Death Star bubble; it will never be profitable even if Zanga builds a jedi app tracker... will outsource production to Foxconn

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:44 | 2191735 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

^^^ Do you realize what you've done there? That right there is one of the most sophisticated things I have ever read, saving it for future study . And the context and where it was found as well.

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 02:48 | 2191942 Whiner
Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:33 | 2191544 BigJim
BigJim's picture

That is some weird shit right there.

And remember the Foundation X tale about the people who were 'still operating on the gold standard' and wanted to give Britain billions of dollars? Same dude, Lord James of Blackheath...

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld201011/ldhansrd/text/101101-0...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:13 | 2191046 Manthong
Manthong's picture

We could make it out of brass..

We would just need to harvest one testicle each from Nancy Pelosi and Janet Napolitano.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:24 | 2191079 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

We could just build it out of derivatives. It's as good as the real thing.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:38 | 2191132 Christophe2
Christophe2's picture

Or, as with the moon 'landings', we can bill the people for the work and then just offer a bogus movie/pics at the finale.  I'm sure the movie aliens we blow up will be very engaging!

=> sure, some people will notice and create websites exposing the fraud, but by then 800 millenia of fake expenses will be just another fait accompli...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2191133 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"I see your Schwartz is as big as mine."

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 21:31 | 2191394 sof_hannibal
sof_hannibal's picture

Leveraged death star futures

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:34 | 2191548 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Think how much money you could create using that thing as collateral! I'm pretty sure it would be good for a few iterations of rehypothecation, too.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:43 | 2191581 Coke and Hookers
Coke and Hookers's picture

A bank would be able to lend something like 7,668 quadrillion with the death star as collateral using proper fractional reserve tricks. We could build 9 more death stars if we only managed to build one! And then on to infinity! This could save us all!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:36 | 2191116 dugorama
dugorama's picture

how about a drone remotely piloted version?  they claim we'd save money

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:48 | 2191166 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Or, the taxpayer pays for the metal deathstar which is appropriated by the 1% and a substitute plastic deathstar is given back the the public sector since it is the same after all.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:57 | 2190999 margaris
margaris's picture

why not build a death star BALLOON?

Should be easier and may still scare the shit out of alien protesters who refuse to pay interest to the UMF (universal monetary fund)...

Also a balloon could be inflated/deflated by grand moff bernankin with admirable prevision.

...

After all, even a 10^15 tonne death star can be destroyed by shooting a small laser into a hole.... so why not skip the pain of such a monumental endeavour and go with a balloon?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:13 | 2191043 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Did I just hear you say "Project Bluebeam"?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 20:01 | 2191190 margaris
margaris's picture

No, but I was envisioning NWO-shill michio kaku as the architect of the death star balloon...

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 09:38 | 2192316 Element
Element's picture

That could provision sufficient thrust if we blurted it out the back-end and made some horrendously rude sounds with it.  But there may not be much left when point A gets nearer to point B.  How do we re-inflate it?  Perhaps hydroponic raised lentil-soup offers an integrated solution?  Wouldn't want that stuff in an enclosed space though, you could get a second sun.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:18 | 2191063 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Not to be technical, but it wasn't a laser that destroyed the death star, it was a missile.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:26 | 2191084 LowProfile
LowProfile's picture

Not to be geeky, but technically it was a torpedo.  The second Death Star was destroyed by blaster fire.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:16 | 2191490 Snapperton
Snapperton's picture

Let's up the geek factor and say it was actually a proton torpedo, but who's fact checking here?

Wed, 04/04/2012 - 19:21 | 2317927 MoneyPowerWomen
MoneyPowerWomen's picture

did you actually check this? because my understanding all along is that it was a photon torpedo. Or have I been infected by a star trek meme?

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:39 | 2191135 Dr.Vannostrand
Dr.Vannostrand's picture

I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:04 | 2191021 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Maybe this is why Bush stole the 15trillion? He was just getting a jump on the death star budget!

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2012/02/21/intel-exclusive-trillion-dollar-terror-exposed/

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:44 | 2191153 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

I just saw you posted this!

so all credit too YOU! even though! I didnt see you post it!

but I give it all to you cause you beat me fair and square by 4 minutes!

Congrats on a GREAT! story! and the Grab!

I tip my hat to You Fine Sir!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 23:49 | 2191742 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

Jdub, i'm telling you bush clan has been in power since nixon. up to and including obarry.  bush clan is now one of the players of the world, heavy. but you know this already. theyre still running the show. they own obama, they own clintons.  they own a lot of people. they're not as big as say a red shield, but maybe 1 or 2 levels just beneath.

 

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:06 | 2191027 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

Do you realize the savings that would result in as we would save so much energy by only lugging plastic to space rather than steel...  That would return maybe $2 for every $1 dollar in debt, thereby doubling GDP and halfing the amount of bonds you would need to sell to aliens...  This just gets better and better.

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:30 | 2191087 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Yo h_h, I got your back.

Better idea - snag Apple's patent on big glass and build it out of sand.  Instead of death star call it iKill.

Bullish on deserts and drought!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 22:35 | 2191550 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Building my own at my prepper compound in rural Montana. Filling it with guns, ammo, dried food and silver coins. Prepared to launch upon hearing the news of the next Black Swan financial reset news event. Wish me luck!

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 18:38 | 2190928 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

The designers of the death star really need to locate the JPM and GS computers on deck with the captain.  

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:16 | 2191054 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Hopefully the opening to that utility tunnel will be smaller than the size of a wamprat this time...

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:26 | 2191083 viahj
viahj's picture

just cover it with plywood

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 19:06 | 2190963 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

above proposal is much TOO MODEST. Boosting US GDP anything less than Infinity to the Nth is futile as this 'MeriKa Black Hole is utterly insatiable.

 

PS how much is carbon and epoxy and what are those rates of production? BC carbon fiber would be the Death Star's obsidian building tools, not so much steel. And a lot of aluminum too...

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