Monorail.... Monorail...Monorail...Is Coming To A Broke State Near You

Tyler Durden's picture

First Springfield.... Now California.

Unfortunately, we are not kidding: not even a day after Obama came pleading for more fiscal stimulus, and already California governor Jerry Brown is saying that the most insolvent state in America should proceed... with a high-speed rail project. Forget that China is in the process of shutting down 54 of its own: you see, this is precisely what California needs to give the optics it is the next Chinese miracle. Next up: 8% GDP growth, the expansion of BRIC to BRICC, a second, very much empty, Los Angeles built deep in the Mojave desert, toys covered in led paint, and a California wave of reverse fraudcap mergers. And as long as everyone pretends to go along with it, and sticks their head in the sand (following an AAAA ratings upgrade by Moodys and Fitch of course for solidarity's sake), this plan just may work....At a price of $43 billion, or just the notional amount of two average Treasury auctions.

From Sac Bee:

Gov. Jerry Brown said this afternoon that California's embattled high-speed rail project should move forward, despite growing criticism about the project's management and cost.


While the nation is in a "period of massive retrenchment," Brown told The Fresno Bee's editorial board, "I would like to be part of the group that gets America to think big again."


The Democratic governor has said little publicly about the project since it came under fire this year in Sacramento, with cost estimates rising and lawmakers questioning its oversight. The project, to connect San Francisco and Los Angeles, was once expected to cost about $43 billion, a figure the California High-Speed Rail Authority is expected to update this fall.


Brown said he is "really getting into" the project and that "we're working directly with the authority to get their act together."


He said he will appoint a commissioner to fill a vacant seat on the agency's governing board this week, though he declined to say who.


"I'm doing the best I can to keep this train running," Brown said.

And lest there is any doubt the governer is only partially insane, this should settle it.

The rail project is one of two major infrastructure projects on Brown's agenda. He said today that he will have a plan for the other project - a peripheral canal or other way to move water through or around the Delta - within a year.

Dear president Obama: you most certainly will not be needing best wishes in passing that Fiscal stimulus bill. A few more projects like this and it is a guaranteed slam dunk.

(and to all those E-trade babies, unemployed twitter daytraders and Jim Cramers whose eyes immediately lit up with hopes of going long the train, despite the sad case study of the Las Vegas iteration, it is mono, not momorail)

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redpill's picture

This will never get completed, ever.  Why in the world would you spend $43 billion on high speed rail from LA to SF when you can hop on Southwest for $49?  The litigation alone in California would be utterly mind boggling.  Just to get an EIR for the whole line would take 30 years.


In a more realistic sidenote, there are market-driven plans for highspeed rail from LA to Las Vegas, two different companies are trying to create a party train so people can drink/gamble all the way to Vegas and back without suffering the congested weekend traffic.  Now THAT is a sustainable rail project.  The government should pay attention.  God knows Amtrak proves they don't have a fucking clue as it is.

Smiley's picture

Just wait till the Coastal Commission gets involved; HAH!

FEDbuster's picture

Maybe they will set up concentration camps in Barstow for the final stop?  In my best Ron Paul imitation, "more malinvestment".

Pool Shark's picture

It's worse than you know:

The first 'leg' to be built will run from just north of Fresno to Corcoran:

(For those of you not acquainted with California Geography: the only thing in Corcoran of any note, is a State Prison... I kid you not. At least conjugal visits will become more convenient...)

A Nanny Moose's picture

What a colossal waste of resources....fucking Corcoran!?! Really? Who dreams this shit up?

Corcoran is such a shithole that I-5 and the 99 go completely around it.

WhOracle's picture

Someone did the same with tracks to Auschwitz no ?

Azannoth's picture

Yes only Auschwitz was a worker camp not 'death camp' but I strongly doubt any1 in California has any interest in work camps, not even FEMA is touching California they know the people there are to 'entitled' to be used as slave labour

General Decline's picture

Yes only Auschwitz was a worker camp not 'death camp'


If you were in Germany, you would be arrested for that comment.

caconhma's picture

<If you were in Germany, you would be arrested for that comment.>

Thanks God, America won the WWII. We still have the Constitution in America. However, both Democrats and Republicans are both working very hard to get rid of things like Freedom of Speech. After all, their real masters, American banking oligarchs, hate free people.

They would rather rule in a fascist state than in a free society. Remember that American banking oligarchs have financed both NAZI and Bolshevik thugs.


RollOver's picture

How do they plan on this being used considering these kinds of mass transportation solutions need massive feeding transportations around the "nodes". People can't bring their SUV's onboard the trains...

anti Oligarchy's picture

So, pursuing this line of thinking, that would be about 877 MILLION flights that could be paid for by the government.


Seriously, would 877 million people want to make that trip?  So that begs to question exactly how much a ticket on this brilliant train will cost?  


Aren't there some IVY league economists out there that could explain the return on investment for this?



A Nanny Moose's picture

Kruggybear is busy fomenting war against Alien Barbarians

Popo's picture

(Which is the classic "broken window fallacy" from Econ 101.    Proving once and for all that Krugman is a fraud.  He doesn't even know his basic economic theory.  Bastiat shot holes through that theory 150 years ago, and Krugman shines it up and thinks its his)

RafterManFMJ's picture

I remember when the .gov took over the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. The lost money on it, every year. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU LOSE FUCKING MONEY RUNNING A WHORE HOUSE? This should give you an idea of the level of institutional incompetence the .gov breeds, and promotes.

reader2010's picture

Perhaps they offered too much free trials to those well-connected.

trav7777's picture

WN will only stay $49 as long as their fuel hedges hold out and the petrodollar keeps steaming along.

You put ROW prices on fuel and you see how rail makes sense.  I dunno about 43 fkin billion tho.

malek's picture

Yeah, and luckily high speed trains need almost no energy to run

jumblies's picture

They could use wind power. Giant sails. And solar. And seaweed. And run on-board nuclear plants by extracting the radiation blowing over from Japan. Or they could simply chain the massive prison population to the front of the train and have them pull them.

See? You're not thinking big enough. Just like Jerry said.

malek's picture

Yeah, thinking about it those lazy engineers should just get the solar powered airliner built, then all our problems are solved.

OldPhart's picture


Literally.  The route will be essentially tracking the San Andreas and secondary faults. 

I hope they make it out of this stuff.

Who wants to go from one shithole to another shithole that quickly anyway?


Tidewater's picture

Agreed. This is no longer a country that can complete large-scale infrastructure projects -- even those that make sense, which this boondoggle does not.

We cannot even maintain existing infrastructure at levels needed to ensure public safety and threat resilience.

And were we to build this boondoggle -- which we can't and won't -- we wouldn't be able to maintain it, either. Imported Chinese coolies couldn't even get it done for us at this point.

But it sounds good and it's something to spend money on. It's a super-expensive version of the urine-soaked fugue state that is Amtrak. So the same morons associated with waste and decay of every stripe -- in Jerry Brown's case, literally the same moron -- keep running monorai! up the flag post.

Never happen. Not here.

max2205's picture

Nobody uses public transportation in CA. Subway empty

Buses empty. POV baby sitting in traffic.

$49 B all for 2012 votes?! I've seen it all

MountainLotus's picture

Monorail might not suitable, but US REALLY NEED infrastructure improvements. Right now, US infrastructure suck! It have to pay four times what their Australian counterparts do to transfer goods to port.  How can US compete with the world then?  Check the following article.

rwe2late's picture

The History Channel's "America's Crumbling Infrastructure" is an eye-opener.



The American Society of Civil Engineers’ infrastructure report card:

2009 Grades
Aviation D
Bridges C
Dams D
Drinking Water D-
Energy D+
Hazardous Waste D
Inland Waterways D-
Levees D-
Public Parks and Recreation C-
Rail C-
Roads D-
Schools D
Solid Waste C+
Transit D
Wastewater D-

America’s Infrastructure GPA: D
Estimated 5 Year Investment Need: $2.2 Trillion

 Obviously high speed monorail for those who need to travel at high speed betweem SF and LA deserves to be at the top of that list.

Who cares if it's "shovel ready" or not?

It's so much sexier than providing safe drinking water and waste disposal.

speconomist's picture

Monorail Bitchez!!

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Conan O'Brien wrote this episode.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Had to figure that Jerry Brown couldn't come up with something this funny on his own. ;)

JLee2027's picture

These old style politicans like Jerry Brown have no freaking clue how to live within a budget.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

High speed rail is so last century.  In America, we just sit back with a can of Bud and pray that peak oil won't happen.

redpill's picture

At this point we're so fucked that actually sounds like a reasonable plan.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Cue the Guns and Fuckin' Roses.

FEDbuster's picture

In less than five years, we will be lucky if there is a horse drawn stagecoach from LA to LV. 

Who had the plan to coat the moon with yogurt?

SoCalBusted's picture

Wells Fargo going back their "core business"

OldPhart's picture

Nowdays, Wells Fargo business model would be stage coach hold-ups.

Keri at Bankster Report's picture

I heard on the radio today that Wells Fargo will be charging $3/mo on accounts that use debit cards.  The zombie bank is starting a test program in the fall, in five states, to gauge consumer reaction:

I'm curious if the bank will have to inform people beforehand, or if it can just start charging it on the monthly statement (the way that phone companies often just automatically "opt" you in for services you didn't even want).  It is called the "debit card activity fee."

I don't have any accounts with WF, but you people in those states listed in that article---eyes peeled.


janus's picture

jetpack, bitchez!

i distinctly remember it from a giligan's island episode...yet another failed attempt to escape the island, and a firm wack on the head courtesy the skipper's hat. (if i remember correctly, the thing bubbles and boils its way to the bottom of the lagoon)

anyway, i think i remember seeing some ad for a hydrogen converter on some bizarre site...didn't think much of it at the time, but now it seems like a bargain at any price.

long the jetpack!

Flakmeister's picture

Mr. Hendrix, that was brilliant....

legal eagle's picture

What about the Las Vegas to LA route?  Reid is supporting that as well.  Bullet train with hookers on board, love it.