This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Monorail.... Monorail...Monorail...Is Coming To A Broke State Near You

Tyler Durden's picture


First Springfield.... Now California.

Unfortunately, we are not kidding: not even a day after Obama came pleading for more fiscal stimulus, and already California governor Jerry Brown is saying that the most insolvent state in America should proceed... with a high-speed rail project. Forget that China is in the process of shutting down 54 of its own: you see, this is precisely what California needs to give the optics it is the next Chinese miracle. Next up: 8% GDP growth, the expansion of BRIC to BRICC, a second, very much empty, Los Angeles built deep in the Mojave desert, toys covered in led paint, and a California wave of reverse fraudcap mergers. And as long as everyone pretends to go along with it, and sticks their head in the sand (following an AAAA ratings upgrade by Moodys and Fitch of course for solidarity's sake), this plan just may work....At a price of $43 billion, or just the notional amount of two average Treasury auctions.

From Sac Bee:

Gov. Jerry Brown said this afternoon that California's embattled high-speed rail project should move forward, despite growing criticism about the project's management and cost.


While the nation is in a "period of massive retrenchment," Brown told The Fresno Bee's editorial board, "I would like to be part of the group that gets America to think big again."


The Democratic governor has said little publicly about the project since it came under fire this year in Sacramento, with cost estimates rising and lawmakers questioning its oversight. The project, to connect San Francisco and Los Angeles, was once expected to cost about $43 billion, a figure the California High-Speed Rail Authority is expected to update this fall.


Brown said he is "really getting into" the project and that "we're working directly with the authority to get their act together."


He said he will appoint a commissioner to fill a vacant seat on the agency's governing board this week, though he declined to say who.


"I'm doing the best I can to keep this train running," Brown said.

And lest there is any doubt the governer is only partially insane, this should settle it.

The rail project is one of two major infrastructure projects on Brown's agenda. He said today that he will have a plan for the other project - a peripheral canal or other way to move water through or around the Delta - within a year.

Dear president Obama: you most certainly will not be needing best wishes in passing that Fiscal stimulus bill. A few more projects like this and it is a guaranteed slam dunk.

(and to all those E-trade babies, unemployed twitter daytraders and Jim Cramers whose eyes immediately lit up with hopes of going long the train, despite the sad case study of the Las Vegas iteration, it is mono, not momorail)


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:17 | 1571092 sheeple
sheeple's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:26 | 1571107 redpill
redpill's picture

This will never get completed, ever.  Why in the world would you spend $43 billion on high speed rail from LA to SF when you can hop on Southwest for $49?  The litigation alone in California would be utterly mind boggling.  Just to get an EIR for the whole line would take 30 years.


In a more realistic sidenote, there are market-driven plans for highspeed rail from LA to Las Vegas, two different companies are trying to create a party train so people can drink/gamble all the way to Vegas and back without suffering the congested weekend traffic.  Now THAT is a sustainable rail project.  The government should pay attention.  God knows Amtrak proves they don't have a fucking clue as it is.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:29 | 1571125 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:40 | 1571150 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Just wait till the Coastal Commission gets involved; HAH!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:44 | 1571164 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Maybe they will set up concentration camps in Barstow for the final stop?  In my best Ron Paul imitation, "more malinvestment".

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:23 | 1571289 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

It's worse than you know:

The first 'leg' to be built will run from just north of Fresno to Corcoran:

(For those of you not acquainted with California Geography: the only thing in Corcoran of any note, is a State Prison... I kid you not. At least conjugal visits will become more convenient...)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:44 | 1571463 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

What a colossal waste of resources....fucking Corcoran!?! Really? Who dreams this shit up?

Corcoran is such a shithole that I-5 and the 99 go completely around it.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 05:03 | 1571789 WhOracle
WhOracle's picture

Someone did the same with tracks to Auschwitz no ?

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 07:36 | 1571892 Azannoth
Azannoth's picture

Yes only Auschwitz was a worker camp not 'death camp' but I strongly doubt any1 in California has any interest in work camps, not even FEMA is touching California they know the people there are to 'entitled' to be used as slave labour

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 07:53 | 1571948 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Yes only Auschwitz was a worker camp not 'death camp'


If you were in Germany, you would be arrested for that comment.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 11:39 | 1573233 caconhma
caconhma's picture

<If you were in Germany, you would be arrested for that comment.>

Thanks God, America won the WWII. We still have the Constitution in America. However, both Democrats and Republicans are both working very hard to get rid of things like Freedom of Speech. After all, their real masters, American banking oligarchs, hate free people.

They would rather rule in a fascist state than in a free society. Remember that American banking oligarchs have financed both NAZI and Bolshevik thugs.


Thu, 08/18/2011 - 11:40 | 1573240 caconhma
caconhma's picture


Thu, 08/18/2011 - 06:17 | 1571812 RollOver
RollOver's picture

How do they plan on this being used considering these kinds of mass transportation solutions need massive feeding transportations around the "nodes". People can't bring their SUV's onboard the trains...

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:00 | 1571383 anti Oligarchy
anti Oligarchy's picture

So, pursuing this line of thinking, that would be about 877 MILLION flights that could be paid for by the government.


Seriously, would 877 million people want to make that trip?  So that begs to question exactly how much a ticket on this brilliant train will cost?  


Aren't there some IVY league economists out there that could explain the return on investment for this?



Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:51 | 1571488 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Kruggybear is busy fomenting war against Alien Barbarians

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 06:21 | 1571814 Popo
Popo's picture

(Which is the classic "broken window fallacy" from Econ 101.    Proving once and for all that Krugman is a fraud.  He doesn't even know his basic economic theory.  Bastiat shot holes through that theory 150 years ago, and Krugman shines it up and thinks its his)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:12 | 1571410 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I remember when the .gov took over the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. The lost money on it, every year. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU LOSE FUCKING MONEY RUNNING A WHORE HOUSE? This should give you an idea of the level of institutional incompetence the .gov breeds, and promotes.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:23 | 1571632 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Perhaps they offered too much free trials to those well-connected.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:06 | 1571614 trav7777
trav7777's picture

WN will only stay $49 as long as their fuel hedges hold out and the petrodollar keeps steaming along.

You put ROW prices on fuel and you see how rail makes sense.  I dunno about 43 fkin billion tho.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:18 | 1571679 malek
malek's picture

Yeah, and luckily high speed trains need almost no energy to run

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 05:56 | 1571804 jumblies
jumblies's picture

They could use wind power. Giant sails. And solar. And seaweed. And run on-board nuclear plants by extracting the radiation blowing over from Japan. Or they could simply chain the massive prison population to the front of the train and have them pull them.

See? You're not thinking big enough. Just like Jerry said.

Fri, 08/19/2011 - 14:44 | 1578371 malek
malek's picture

Yeah, thinking about it those lazy engineers should just get the solar powered airliner built, then all our problems are solved.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:24 | 1571672 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture


Literally.  The route will be essentially tracking the San Andreas and secondary faults. 

I hope they make it out of this stuff.

Who wants to go from one shithole to another shithole that quickly anyway?


Thu, 08/18/2011 - 08:59 | 1572177 Tidewater
Tidewater's picture

Agreed. This is no longer a country that can complete large-scale infrastructure projects -- even those that make sense, which this boondoggle does not.

We cannot even maintain existing infrastructure at levels needed to ensure public safety and threat resilience.

And were we to build this boondoggle -- which we can't and won't -- we wouldn't be able to maintain it, either. Imported Chinese coolies couldn't even get it done for us at this point.

But it sounds good and it's something to spend money on. It's a super-expensive version of the urine-soaked fugue state that is Amtrak. So the same morons associated with waste and decay of every stripe -- in Jerry Brown's case, literally the same moron -- keep running monorai! up the flag post.

Never happen. Not here.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:18 | 1571275 max2205
max2205's picture

Nobody uses public transportation in CA. Subway empty

Buses empty. POV baby sitting in traffic.

$49 B all for 2012 votes?! I've seen it all

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:43 | 1571466 MountainLotus
MountainLotus's picture

Monorail might not suitable, but US REALLY NEED infrastructure improvements. Right now, US infrastructure suck! It have to pay four times what their Australian counterparts do to transfer goods to port.  How can US compete with the world then?  Check the following article.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 08:48 | 1571979 rwe2late
rwe2late's picture

The History Channel's "America's Crumbling Infrastructure" is an eye-opener.



The American Society of Civil Engineers’ infrastructure report card:

2009 Grades
Aviation D
Bridges C
Dams D
Drinking Water D-
Energy D+
Hazardous Waste D
Inland Waterways D-
Levees D-
Public Parks and Recreation C-
Rail C-
Roads D-
Schools D
Solid Waste C+
Transit D
Wastewater D-

America’s Infrastructure GPA: D
Estimated 5 Year Investment Need: $2.2 Trillion

 Obviously high speed monorail for those who need to travel at high speed betweem SF and LA deserves to be at the top of that list.

Who cares if it's "shovel ready" or not?

It's so much sexier than providing safe drinking water and waste disposal.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:18 | 1571095 speconomist
speconomist's picture

Monorail Bitchez!!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:40 | 1571152 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Conan O'Brien wrote this episode.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:26 | 1571293 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Had to figure that Jerry Brown couldn't come up with something this funny on his own. ;)

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 03:24 | 1571742 speconomist
speconomist's picture

I know, it's my favorite one.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:19 | 1571097 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

These old style politicans like Jerry Brown have no freaking clue how to live within a budget.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:24 | 1571111 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

High speed rail is so last century.  In America, we just sit back with a can of Bud and pray that peak oil won't happen.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:29 | 1571124 redpill
redpill's picture

At this point we're so fucked that actually sounds like a reasonable plan.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:30 | 1571126 spiral_eyes
Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:42 | 1571156 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Cue the Guns and Fuckin' Roses.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:47 | 1571173 nmewn
Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:16 | 1571271 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Fuckin' A!

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:54 | 1571654 Doyle Hargraves
Thu, 08/18/2011 - 06:26 | 1571818 nmewn
nmewn's picture

My favorite line from the song..."you can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me"

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:49 | 1571185 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

In less than five years, we will be lucky if there is a horse drawn stagecoach from LA to LV. 

Who had the plan to coat the moon with yogurt?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:14 | 1571261 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Um...Jimmy Carter?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:45 | 1571473 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Wells Fargo going back their "core business"

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:16 | 1571676 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Nowdays, Wells Fargo business model would be stage coach hold-ups.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:40 | 1571706 Keri at Bankste...
Keri at Bankster Report's picture

I heard on the radio today that Wells Fargo will be charging $3/mo on accounts that use debit cards.  The zombie bank is starting a test program in the fall, in five states, to gauge consumer reaction:

I'm curious if the bank will have to inform people beforehand, or if it can just start charging it on the monthly statement (the way that phone companies often just automatically "opt" you in for services you didn't even want).  It is called the "debit card activity fee."

I don't have any accounts with WF, but you people in those states listed in that article---eyes peeled.


Sat, 02/18/2012 - 01:07 | 2172375 darkhorse222
darkhorse222's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:58 | 1571210 janus
janus's picture

jetpack, bitchez!

i distinctly remember it from a giligan's island episode...yet another failed attempt to escape the island, and a firm wack on the head courtesy the skipper's hat. (if i remember correctly, the thing bubbles and boils its way to the bottom of the lagoon)

anyway, i think i remember seeing some ad for a hydrogen converter on some bizarre site...didn't think much of it at the time, but now it seems like a bargain at any price.

long the jetpack!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:55 | 1571510 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Mr. Hendrix, that was brilliant....

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:08 | 1571617 sourgrapesson
sourgrapesson's picture

Peak Oil?  Damn!!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:24 | 1571112 legal eagle
legal eagle's picture

What about the Las Vegas to LA route?  Reid is supporting that as well.  Bullet train with hookers on board, love it.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:27 | 1571117 Sequitur
Sequitur's picture

It's all good. All good. China is with us, they need their own version of TARP:

One big global TARP family. Build the monorail, give me some LA to Vegas working chicks.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:28 | 1571123 koaj
koaj's picture

damn i'll be singing Monorail the rest of the night

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:36 | 1571449 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

The newly employed will be singing "nigger work songs" and jumping around like a bunch of "Kansas City faggots".

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:32 | 1571132 janus
janus's picture

just awesome, TD

main street's still cracked and broken/

that's okay the mob has spoken

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:33 | 1571134 MarkD
MarkD's picture

And I bet it will create a gazillion jobs

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:33 | 1571698 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

It would, in reality, create a 1,000 or so.  Non-Union? Don't even try to apply. 

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:34 | 1571137 old naughty
old naughty's picture

I counted six kicks in the butt, ahhh, of cans down the road further: Optics…8% BRICC membership…empty desert [housing]…le(a)d paint boom…mergers…ratings solidarity All for a notional two offers, wow. It might just work for Jerry.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:37 | 1571143 Wanchuk
Wanchuk's picture

too bad you cant look into the future past your GE dividend(pre 2008)....infrastructure is part of life even though the corporate world has placed it back on you.....they stilll make a great dividend for your future


can you drive ure 50 miles to work on your current salary???   hows that road or bridge to you work? enjoy.................. 

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:44 | 1571163 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

And that salary buys gasoline a portion of which flows into fed and local highway funds which are used in theory to maintain the bridge (albiet at jacked up crony bid). The feds use this slush fund to great leverage, imposing their will on the states by threatening to withhold the vig.

As for the construction tab? Well the millitary-industrial complex picked it up of course to move troops and equipment quickly in the event the reds or sherry drunk canucks invaded.

What exactly is your point?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:49 | 1571183 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

What exactly is your point?


Uhmm, his head, of course....

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:58 | 1571518 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Compare revenues raised from the gasoline excise tax and the Federal road spending along with the needed maintenance.... Get back to me when you have the numbers.. kay? 

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:38 | 1571145 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Next up: 8% GDP growth, the expansion of BRIC to BRICC, a second, very much empty, Los Angeles built deep in the Mojave desert..."

Where does Krugman (the man with the golden shovel) stand on this?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:40 | 1571151 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

What the fuck is with the high speed rail obsession? Hopium aside this is not western Europe, it is a continental nation spanning thousands of miles with vast swaths of empty space in between. Passenger rail? Fuck that.

In reality it is an obsession of the coastal oligarchy who dwell in cities spaced closely enough together to make it palatable.

Vivia La Secession.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:44 | 1571342 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

What the fuck is with the high speed rail obsession?

It ain't the project they're in love with -- it is the budget for the project.

Addicts are experts at coming up with excuses that seem sort of reasonable, but it is always driven by the same fundamental motivation: HOW DO I GET MY NEXT HIT?

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:09 | 1571619 trav7777
trav7777's picture

horseshit...nobody is suggesting coast-to-coast rail, it is SFO to LAX for fuck's sake, a few hundred miles.

The goddamned TGV and shinkansen do this mileage all the time and turn a PROFIT.  200mph rail between NY and DC actually makes sense.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:36 | 1571702 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

NY to DC HSRR allows the Lobbyists to personally check in with Wall Street for instructions.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:43 | 1571158 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

You have to understand the mode of thought.

This is the moral equivalent of "jobs created or saved".  The second parameter is unmeasurable.

When these plans are obstructed or ended by . . . probably Republicans, then the goal is achieved.  They don't want to build the rail line.  They just want to be obstructed and prevented from doing so -- because if only we had, joyous heaven would be here.  Those evil opposition figures are why you are miserable and denied heaven.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:46 | 1571168 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

I'm speachless....

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:49 | 1571176 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Much as South Park once bemoaned, The Simpsons have done it already.

Marge versus the Monorail.

The Monorail Song
Lyle Lanley: Y'know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!
(audience laughs)
Homer: Heh heh! Mule.
Lyle Lanley: The name's Lanley. Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest... Aw, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
Lyle Lanley: All right, I tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea! I give you the Springfield Monorail! (audience gasps) I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrooke, and by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Monorail! ...
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: That's right! Monorail!
(crowd chants "Monorail" softly and rhythmically)
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Grampa: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Chief Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken!
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken.
All: Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!

(Obligatory Leonard Nimoy dialogue)

Mayor Quimby: And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall, Mr. Leonard Nimoy.
Leonard Nimoy: [referring to the monorail] I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five.
[crowd laughs]
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, "May the Force be with you."
Leonard Nimoy: [annoyed] Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:49 | 1571181 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

LA used to be into public transit. But people like sloan from GM thought it best to buy up all the trolley companies to shut them down and sell them cars, LA was a driving city they claimed.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:54 | 1571197 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

Yup, if it wasn't for old man Sloan, people would be on them trollies, hopping off at those fine Hollywood and LA eating establishments and then waiting for them late at night to whisk them back to Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, or over the hills of Laurel Canyon to Studio City


Wonder if one of the stops would have been Matsuhisa's....

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:41 | 1571708 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Those trolleys criss-crossed So Calif.  Remnants remain in San Bernardino, Colton, Redlands, etc.

One old stop still exists at Patton State Hospital in Highland (used to be for the criminal insane).


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:49 | 1571184 Dasa Slooofoot
Dasa Slooofoot's picture

I remember in High School the episode of Mr. Burns' Trillion Dollar bill.


Seemed like so much back then, now not so much.  lol. 


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:51 | 1571189 pettolicious
pettolicious's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:51 | 1571490 data_monkey
data_monkey's picture

Washington state. Fuck light rail and new bridges. Bullet trains are THE answer! I can see it now...

 Bullet trains running through tunnels under Puget Sound and Lake Washington.

And Tolls! Lots of Tolls! Scanners that identify you via your pupils and charge you depending on where you are on the train at different rates throughout the day.

They are so short sighted...

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 01:20 | 2172384 darkhorse222
darkhorse222's picture

oh dont get me started-they have 4 perfectly good sports staadiums and now they NEED to build (no public money use, we promise) a NEW Superdome for basketball and Hockey!

they people here are braindead-i can beleive they are with a straight face proposing this in these times.   we have the UW Husky stadium and the Key Arena -both smaller venues-but ok for thier purpose in these insecure times-and then the 2 irrelevant mega stadiums-AND NOW THEY FEEL THEY NEED A THIRD!!!!!

The original mega dome the Kingdome could have been retrofitted to handle ALL these sports at 1/100th of the cost. Sometime i think WW 3 would be a good thing-as long as the elite in their bunkers never were able to come out due to massive plate shifting;

and this doesnt coun the trillion dollar boondoggle light rail which like the 1 billion dollar downtown tunnel rail will be a total failure

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:51 | 1571190 MaxFrost
MaxFrost's picture

I could think of a LOT worse ways to spend the money...

I live in the Bay Area - you can't get those SouthWest $49 flights unless you book in advance - otherwise, after you pay all the taxes, it's $150 each way, or more. I'd love to be able to hop on a train and be in downtown LA in two hours...and the trains could also run at night, which the airlines don't, for some reason - commercial traffic, I guess. I've had delays in connecting flights through LA and missed the midnight cut-off, and had to spend the night in the airport waiting till flights began again at six am.

High-speed rail would cut down on traffic, pollution and oil/gas use. The over-booked airports wouldn't have delays so often.

If you ran it down along route 5, and went from Oakland instead of SF, you could avoid a lot of the NIMBY lawsuits. You'd have 5-10 years (or more!) work for the construction industry, who sure as hell aren't gonna be building many houses in the next 10 years. And why not hook up Fresno and Bakersfield to civilization? Then maybe they could actually sell some of those Inland Empire houses.

Sure, it's a boondoggle - but so was the Golden Gate Bridge, the Interstate Highway system and the Empire State Building. At least we'd have something to show for the money in a decade or five though...

Flame away!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:02 | 1571221 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

The merits of the monorail, all joking aside, is something for the foks in CAlifornia to decide.   I guess the humor is that those zany politicians don't take anything off the table to pay for an infrastructure project like this.   I'd like to make many inprovements on my farm that would go a long way to improve productivity, but, my wallet tells me that I need to pace those cap-ex plans so they fit within a budget - a word politicians know nothing about

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:46 | 1571347 delacroix
delacroix's picture

we could probably get a good deal on a chinese bullet train, right now.  paint it red white and blue, and it's a win

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:52 | 1571492 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Hell-they should just buy New Mexico's line...NM's current Gov is trying to figure out how to stop the bleeding from Richardson's rail f-up.  Would be a Win-Win.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:20 | 1571427 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, S_E!  it was on the ballot in '08 and it passed!  since we have no money, let's build a new train!  passed for $10 Bil!  we'll just borrow the money!  Nov 4, 2008. 

it sounded like a good idea, so people voted for it.  wtf could make more sense than that?  the state is totally BK, so let's build a train w/ OPM!  California High-Speed Rail - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia   no way to get it thru the legislature & goobernator, so let's put it on the ballot and let the people decide.  how would you folks like a new hi-speed rail sevice from tijuana to sacramento? 

sure!  let's do it!  you can see the plans @ wiki, above, and here are some other relevant map data: seismic map of california - Google Search    i appreciate the respect, sir, but the costs are already, well, you can imagine, eh?  50 billion?  for 450,000 permanent jobs?  150,000 construction jobs.  

slewie woulda settled for a nice bike path!  trust me!

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:15 | 1571626 trav7777
trav7777's picture

if people realistically want to be getting around in 10 years, we better build the rail now while we can

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:07 | 1571238 sgorem
sgorem's picture

stay in the Bay Area. who in the hell would EVER want to go to LA?

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:10 | 1571620 sourgrapesson
sourgrapesson's picture

Christ I could lose cell service there..............Big Bro upon us

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:49 | 1571481 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Dream on.  The LA Metro Gold Line shuts down at midnight- about the time I start drinking in Old Town.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:43 | 1571713 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

Guess what happens if you miss the 8 PM Metrolink back to the Inland Empire.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:53 | 1571195 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

After the " big one", which is long overdue, California will look like a mini Chile, and its parts will be absorbed by neighboring states.  Then a monrail between what's left of California will be just a long bike ride to Las Vegas, and without the repatriated funds of its citizens, Mexico will become Somalia.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:24 | 1571437 GFKjunior
GFKjunior's picture

Somalia's got nothing on Mexico.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:56 | 1571202 nwskii
nwskii's picture

Jerry Brown: "But if we just print the money to pay for it, its free right? Everyone wins!"

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:07 | 1571237 max2205
max2205's picture

But what contractor wants a CA IOU ?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 21:59 | 1571212 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Governor Moonbeam's flashing back bad from some of that acid he did back in the 60's.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:10 | 1571248 sgorem
sgorem's picture

LOL! you stole my line.:)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:34 | 1571313 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

is the monorail going to the moon?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:54 | 1571501 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

No, but it's cost will.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 07:36 | 1571890 schizo321437
schizo321437's picture

China already has a plan to impregnate the moon, you need to wee at least as far as Mars now.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:13 | 1571226 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

I'd give $50B to California to blow before I gave Wall Street the sweat off my mutated scrote.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:23 | 1571288 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The majors will be furnishing the loans.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:33 | 1571310 Manthong
Manthong's picture

"$50B to California to blow"

Right or left nostril?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:58 | 1571374 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

my mutated scrote

Is that what your avatar is?  I always wondered. 

(sorry -- I had to)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:05 | 1571228 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

This clearly more of a Shelbyville idea.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:58 | 1571377 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:06 | 1571233 max2205
max2205's picture

Hoping for another sticky object to stay on the wall. Ooppps

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:07 | 1571239 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

We live in a 'car culture' in the US. All these rail projects will make less need for cars so then what will happen to the auto companies and associated businesses? OR Americans will reject the trains, and the projects will end up sucking the remaining life out of the states trying to subsidize them. It's a loose loose gig here.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:26 | 1571296 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

America's car culture won't make it past peak oil.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 03:55 | 1571755 Vic Vinegar
Vic Vinegar's picture

This may be true but I just bought a top-down Mini Cooper and it's pretty sweet.  

Change isn't good or bad, it just is.  I swear I heard that somewhere...

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 06:56 | 1571833 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

Ask Joe 6pack on the street what peak oil is...he'll have no idea.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:09 | 1571247 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Anyone drive the 5 from LA to SF?   You'll like the train.  At least you won't have to keep your eyes open to see the Bakersfiled smog attractiion.  Or the endless fields with that sweet smell of,  oh shit was that a cropduster?,  or get where 2 lanes of minivans doing 95 aren't fast enough so they tailgate like it was the freeway at rush,  then you can stop and get a whiff at Kettleman where the smell of cow is the best thing as the people are dying from the,  shit was that the crop duster again?  Course you can always do a stop at a mini city, where they have everything the traveler needs and nothing else.  

Even if there were cows on the tracks, it would be a lot better way of getting to SF

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:13 | 1571257 AUD
AUD's picture

I swear it's California's only choice..... Throw up your hands & raise your voice!

High speed rail.... high speed rail.... high speed raaaaaaaiiiiiiiillllllll

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:20 | 1571281 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

This is all I can think of whenever any of these Political Clowns speak:

...don't write this movie off just because Burt Reynolds sings.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:21 | 1571286 YC2
YC2's picture

In florida we have been pushing a rail on I-4 since I can remember.  I did drink a lot while I lived in Orlando tho, so who even knows how long that is!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:21 | 1571287 janus
janus's picture

The American Bathos Knows No Bounds:

ZHealots, i kid you not, the lead story on this evening's local news, right as we're entering the worst economic period in our nation's history, at a time of multiple war fronts and more to open very soon (and, mind you, i understand it's local news...but this is the state capital...and even if it were closed circuit news at a nursing home for excessively medicated curmudgeons who've abandon all ambition except for annoying the younger and less infirmed, you may expect to find this clap trap possibly filling some gap between sports and weather...but, no, this bleeding bitch leads, complete with dramatic musical score and graphic overlay.

a pack of wild dogs has killed some old man's pet poodle.  literally three and a half minutes on it.  ACB local.  vietnam vet and all; so you'd expect a man like this, whose best friend's face, after one quick misfortune, is suddenly a pile of goo, to be able to soldier on if his prissy lil poodle gets done in by the mystery of nature.  there's a symmetry to all this the old cooter's missing. 

lesson learned, i say.  lap dogs should stay on laps; lest they run into the rough-stuff...or, as they say round here, if you can't hang with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

at least the german tabloids are telling their citizens to buy gold...we're being warned about wild dogs.

watch your poodles...hide your kids, hide your wife -- they rapin everybody:

this kid is from right up the road

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:03 | 1571396 pods
pods's picture

Sounds like Fayettenam.  Been hearing radio newsbites about how bad the coydog problem is down there.  

Not that tough, see a stray, shoot, shovel, and shut up.


Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:01 | 1571663 Doyle Hargraves
Doyle Hargraves's picture

Fayettenam, haven't heard that in a while, God I don't miss that town, don't miss being anywhere on the Murch, either!

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:53 | 1571653 Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

The only people who should be allowed to have lap dogs are the Gabor Sisters.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 07:00 | 1571836 papaswamp
papaswamp's picture

When the economy goes into the crapper...that pack of wild dogs will be much larger and pulling down little kids and the ederly. People dump their pets when things get bad...of course if things get really bad....BBQ dog ain't half bad.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:26 | 1571295 brown_hornet
brown_hornet's picture

Dick Durban wants to build one from Chicago to St. Louie.  For only $2 billion. Average speed...110 mph.


One of the coolest things in the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago is a 1907 steam engine that was capable of going...107 mph

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:30 | 1571303 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Now that's technological progress!

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 00:03 | 1571529 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I've seen it many times... helluva locomotive... Don't forget the Zephyr there as well. They have a Zephyr that still runs at the museum in Union IL.

The irony of it all must be overwhelming.....

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:21 | 1571628 trav7777
trav7777's picture

average vs top speed...110 is pretty good if the thing makes stops en route

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:32 | 1571308 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

they'll spend for a monorail but end up with a tramcar..


watch the tramcar please.....


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:36 | 1571319 centerline
centerline's picture

Florida going forward with a rail project as well.  Lots of stink over it.  Mainly the desire to grab the federal funds.  We all know where it will lead too... pathetic.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:48 | 1571352 YC2
YC2's picture

Ive been living here long enough to say Ill beleive it when I see it.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 06:11 | 1571811 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yeah, Scott is discovering being govenor is a little different than being a CEO.

But yes, the operation of the train will be a long term budget liability just like every other form of public mass transit.

I invite anyone to show me just one break even, taxpayer subsidized public transportation project...from Amtrak to city buses I can't recall even one...but to be fair, I'll hold off on the cricket sounds...for now ;-)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:37 | 1571325 IMA5U
IMA5U's picture

all the wheels are in motion for ObamaNation to start hee hawing for "stimulus" for "job creation"

which is really just the government's way of expanding its power


expect to see more academic idiots like laura tyson or krugman on tv to fill the air waves with their keynesian soundbytes for liberals to chomp on at cocktail parties (pbrs in a warehouse)

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:40 | 1571334 kito
kito's picture

will they serve those delish honey roasted peanuts that i used to love so much before airlines made them a $5 luxury instead of free courtesy? if so, im all for the monorail....

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:47 | 1571349 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Wow, how many round trips do they have to sell to make up the $49 billion (which will wind up being $490 billion) cost? How many centuries will it take to do that? 5? 10?


Can't they just construct a giant log flume ride from SF to LA - make it high enough at one end to float the whole way. And if a log flume is too expensive, how about a wild mouse type thing, or just a burlap sack to ride it down to LA?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:06 | 1571400 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

giant log flume ride from SF to LA == California Aqueduct

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 02:04 | 1571665 Doyle Hargraves
Doyle Hargraves's picture



Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:52 | 1571358 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Why don't they build it underground and during the off hours it could double as a particle accelerator. Hell it could be used for that in the on hours too. It could be called the Mexikalistania Express.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 22:54 | 1571366 wombats
wombats's picture

Gee can I help pay for that.  I can't wait to see more $ wasted on a do-nothing project for Failurfornia.  How can I get in on that action?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:15 | 1571415 rlouis
rlouis's picture

The Bay Area has been paying a special sales tax to BART for 30 years and last year the BART board held secret meetings (illegal!) to discuss how they could pass a Parcel Tax.  $100,000 per year BART janitors love cleaning our pockets!

Jerry Brown might have retired with a modicum of public respect - now his entire career is opening up like a bottle of sour milk.  Oakland is left with a huge retirement funding problem from "kicking the can down the road" which Brown happily perpetuated.  His inability to have SERIOUS discussions with the prison guards over pension issues is the creme de la creme of bad milk. 


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:54 | 1571500 SoCalBusted
SoCalBusted's picture

Jerry did have serious discussions with the prison guard union.  As a result, the union donated serious money to his campaign.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:18 | 1571423 Mitch Comestein
Mitch Comestein's picture

This will be just as bad as that escalator to nowhere.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:24 | 1571438 sangell
sangell's picture

Peripheral Canal? How long has that debate been going on? I was young and good looking and Jerry Brown was masturbating in a seminary with visions of naked alter boys in his head when that was an issue.


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:49 | 1571441 gangland
gangland's picture


remember fitch threatend la city council with a down grade of dwp bonds unless rates were raised, dwp withheld payment to city unless rates were raised threatening la city default. kill poor, keep bond holders whole. villaragosa wanted aaa rated bonds so he could get federal funding from wallstreet for his subway projects in la. he had appointed the dwp executive board that withheld payment to the city and demanded rates be raised.


dwp is btw the publicly owned city of los angeles department of water and power, PUBLICLY OWNED, as if the 16th largest global economy was going to default (for lack of an 83mill payment from a publicly owned utility back to the city) unless dwp rates were raised.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:29 | 1571445 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

Donuts.....what problem cant they solve!?

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:35 | 1571452 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:44 | 1571469 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

G/sachs, the fed goobermint, private enterprise---they're all gonna help make it happen!  only $10 Bil budgeted to come from local goobermints (2009 dollarz).  what could possibly go wrong?  most of the political discussion in '08 was sorta:  "well, why wouldn't a fast train be a good idea?"  CA has already rec'd over 1/2 $ Bil from the fed.gub b/c other states cancelled their plans. 

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:50 | 1571477 gangland
gangland's picture


 slewie if u havnt search out where our first "station" , first track lay is going to's a hint ted "bridge to nowhere " stevens

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:55 | 1571656 Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

I always preferred Ted "It's a series of tubes!" Stevens.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:46 | 1571474 Odin McHaggis
Odin McHaggis's picture

Just get on the bus Gus. you don't need to discuss much.

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 01:11 | 1571623 sourgrapesson
sourgrapesson's picture

Drop Off the Key Lee  ~ And Set Yourself Free

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:50 | 1571483 DrPepperJawa
DrPepperJawa's picture

I think a high speed rail from LA to LV makes way more sense.  While I do think LV's day might be numbered there is probably alwasy going to be 'some' gambling there.  Taking the a high spee train from SF to LA?

Well, first of I dont think a station will be located in SF or San Jose proper.  So we are talking an hour drive to get to the station then a what?  2-4 hours to get down there?  Its not making sense to me.  Ill take a plane or just car pool with friends. 

I really think they are underestimating the amount of traffic these trains would carry.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:57 | 1571499 Big Ben
Big Ben's picture

It looks like "Governor Moonbeam" is up to his old tricks. In the 70's he wanted California to have its own communications satellite. I don't think that he ever met a multibillion dollar infrastructure project that he didn't like.

As previous posters have pointed out a high speed rail project for California makes no sense. Lots of Californians who live away from the SF-LA corridor would pay for it without any possible benefit. And even for people in SF and LA, why not just take an airplane? Also, suppose California builds this $50 billion project? (Actually it will probably end up costing a lot more). Then some terrorist could place a bomb anywhere along the hundreds of miles of tracks and cause a high speed derailment, probably killing hundreds of people and leaving California stuck with huge piece of expensive infrastructure that no one wants to use.

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:57 | 1571506 gangland
gangland's picture


Building tracks for the first section of California’s proposed high-speed rail line will cost $2.9 billion to $6.8 billion more than originally estimated,Thanks to rules attached to federal subsidies in President Obama’s stimulus package, California has to break ground on the project by next year. That has forced the state to focus much of its $3.5 billion on an effort to connect the bustling metropolises of… Borden and Corcoran.


Borden TO FCUKING Corcoran. GOT IT SO IT WORKS IF YOU'RE GETTING RELEASED FROM CORCORAN STATE PEN.  ive lived all my life and been up and down the state and i have no fcuking clue where BOOOREDEEGGHHN AND COOOORRCORRAGGHGHGN ARE???? except i saw corcoran state pen on an episode of lockup on msnbc!!

Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:56 | 1571512 Dr. Hannibal Lecter
Dr. Hannibal Lecter's picture

<montgomeryburnsvoice>  Exxcellent Tyler!  </montgomeryburnsvoice>

Point up for the Simpsons reference and relevance.  Well done!


Wed, 08/17/2011 - 23:57 | 1571517 Esso
Esso's picture

Yeah, boy, the great thing about this will be the tens of thousands of TSA agents they'll have to hire to make sure Uhmerikka's "crown jewel" transportation system is protected from all those terrorists with the explosive water and shaving cream.

LA to SF in only 22 hours by the time you get through the anal probing and porno scanners. Yippee!

Thu, 08/18/2011 - 00:05 | 1571533 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Sad, but likely to become true....

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!