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More European Any- And Every-Thing Promises Jerk Market Higher

Tyler Durden's picture


Well it had to come, hope was fading. Special delivery via telephone from her vacation (via Bloomberg)...


Translation (for non-European-speakers): Europe promises to talk much more. Also promises to not actually do anything as long as it takes.

  • Germany, France: must implement June summit conclusions quickly. Market ramps on hope that the event that ramped it in June, is implemented

In summary, the Eurozone is committed to preserving itself. Truly breaking news which will trigger all EURUSD stop losses




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Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:26 | 2656135 jeff314
jeff314's picture

Bye Bye AAA rating for Germany

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:28 | 2656140 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Germany loves inflation

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:34 | 2656180 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Gonna have everything fixed by next think prices are high right now......just wait.


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:41 | 2656203 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

C'mon, seriously. Did anyone expect anything else? It's the same thing as when the Mexican government several years ago told their people the wouldn't devalue the currency. What happened? They devalued. Big-time.

It is time for us to simply ignore the politicians comments entirely. This would be more devastating then joking about what they have to say.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:50 | 2656262 SMG
SMG's picture

Everyone is really making an effort to pump the markets/euro this week and the past few.   I bet something bad is coming soon.  

I really think we're going to have to a "crash" style drop in the market before they do another QE.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:52 | 2656269 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Think of the good side, since their words are totally worthless they should have very little impact on inflation.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:07 | 2656346 fredquimby
fredquimby's picture


It is time for us to simply ignore the politicians comments entirely.

But that is the beauty of the EURO - it cannot be touched or fucked up by the european politicoes. THEY CAN DO NOTHING TO SAVE IT. Thats the point. It was specifically designed like that!!

My Dad keeps banging on about "well, if they can't set their own interest rates or print money, they are screwed", not realizing it is him the English pensioner that is actually being screwed by the UK Govt, because they do set their own rates and are printing more of the money he has his savings denominated in.....

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 11:23 | 2656662 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Yes Inflation + Germany = War in Europe

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656157 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Merkel + circle jerk = Merjerkel

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:37 | 2656194 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Urkel Jerk

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:46 | 2656243 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:27 | 2656138 Peter K
Peter K's picture

It's the Elvis strategy. Enjoy :)

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:55 | 2656277 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

More like the Backstreet Boys strategy. The EMU should make "Anything for you" their national anthem:

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:58 | 2656292 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

From back when they still wrote tunes for the foxtrot.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:27 | 2656139 Duenyas
Duenyas's picture

Everyone is invited to join "will do anything for eurozone" party.

"To protect", not to "Save" !!!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656173 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

"To protect the money printing Mania"

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656155 DavidJ
DavidJ's picture

Sh*t!  Lost 250! on that hopium!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656159 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

They actually said they would do anything for your ozone.

Its the tricky accents that cause the confusion...

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656162 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Breaking...Hollande buys Merkel a tube of lipstick...cosmetic company shares surge!!!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:35 | 2656186 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Markel seen buying several ball-gags and a colonic kit.


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656223 Haager
Haager's picture

Even if you put lipstick on it remains an - err - Merkel.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656164 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Well, hopefully the euro(zone) dies before i do. Pffff

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656165 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Merkel congratulates any France workers who retired this month at the ago of 58 and wishes them well. Promises to make sure Germans bust their ass right up till they take a dirtnap to preserve a wonderful and stress free retirement for said Frenchmen.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656167 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Shorts are now on the run as stops are being hit everywhere.


The "Draghi Pie-Hole Effect" worked.

Isn't Central Banking easy?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656174 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Just like the bubbles you blow with Blankfein's cum?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656222 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

"Isn't central banking easy?" Yep, if they can just pump the DOW about another 1200 points it will be back to where it was 5 years ago. It shouldn't cost more than <another> 3-4 T$.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:49 | 2656256 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture

I'm gonna ride it a while longer. When the Merkel vacay is over, maybe she'll throw a wet blanket on everything.

Sat, 07/28/2012 - 16:10 | 2659352 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture


How's your facebook shares ?

Easy as pie short - even a caveman can do it.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656169 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Interesting how France is going to "help"

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:59 | 2656300 GERxit
GERxit's picture

jep, they help by being helped :-)

However I was missing the "BELIEVE ME" part in the statement... maybe that hints towards something?!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656172 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Bring your kneepads Merkeljerkel

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656178 Conman
Conman's picture

Who needs  financial analysts, MBA degrees, etc etc. Just fire them all, none of that matters. Markets are a complete fucking joke.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656181 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

I'm psyched, feel as good as after the last summit.

btw: "protect the euro"? Still fighting speculators? OMG

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656191 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Hollande's arrogance is equaled only by his incompetency.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:05 | 2656332 falak pema
falak pema's picture

no no, nobody can match US arrogance; he still has a lot to learn from GWB and all those who made this miracle. He is just running behind the FED pump. 

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:09 | 2656357 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

He seems pretty good to fucking his own country up ;O)

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656196 arkel
arkel's picture

It's amazing that anyone thinks creating money out of thin air can save an economy. If it were so easy, every country would be rich beyond comprehension.
Waiting for the shit to finally hit the fan is frustrating. Why is it taking people so long to figure this out?
The longer we postpone, the more shit is going to hit that fan and at a higher speed setting.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656198 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What a joke this has become. They haven't said a damn thing and this "market"ramps up. P.T. Barnum was right when he said "there s a sucker born every minute".

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656201 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

Credit to all those with ongoing creative & humorous commentary on this perpetual BS but is anyone at all feeling just a wee bit exhausted?? In other word, Fuck It!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:24 | 2656414 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

I second that.

I think, waking up everyday or even refreshing headlines hoping to read "The EUR/USD/Financial System has collapsed!" kind of headlines are emotionally taxing and wearing us out.

We need to snap out of this mindset or else we will be too worn out and psychologically fatigued to do anything positive about it... Like a someone who finally did get married.... at 75.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656204 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Europe speaking with one voice.... until the vacations end:)

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:50 | 2656261 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

how do you spell     J-A-W-B-O-N-E

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656206 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

I read this and all i think is: "Gimme Shelter".

War, Children it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away......

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:56 | 2656280 XitSam
Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:06 | 2656333 elysithea
elysithea's picture


The magic rabbits and fudge have run out so I would assume that the next step for these morons is indeed war. They could start printing but that might help some debt slaves escape their control.

There are a growing number of voices saying No,Nein,non where No means No. A very interesting German perspective from Dr Rath can be seen here:

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:40 | 2656211 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

I doubt Germany is ready to do   A N Y T H I N G.

Just words till they actually DO something.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:13 | 2656369 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

You can save that post for next year, and the year after, and the year after..........

Who believes this crap anymore?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656218 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Yea they got it all figured out alright. Until they don't at which point this market crashes and burns from undestanding all the BS spewed has done absolutely zero besides add mountains of debt to the already mountains of debt sitting around 5 years ago. Pump it up all they want it will not change the inevitable.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:43 | 2656225 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Everyone marching in place, marking time, until 'the event' and see the next 9-11 right when no one expects it but is waiting with hands out for free money which is 100% guaranteed coming at any minute.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:44 | 2656228 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

unlike you big traders here im up 30k on the year.. i know im small potatooes but you have to start posting the good info..

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:47 | 2656249 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

mrktwtch do you stare at your small dick while telling everyone about your profits this year? Do these two things balance out your self confidence?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:44 | 2656229 milanitaly
milanitaly's picture

Thanks mario and mario.

This probably will not be enough to save us but it is fantastic not to hear again stupid nein nein nein.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:39 | 2656408 web bot
web bot's picture

How bad a things in Italy right now compared to Spain?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:44 | 2656230 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

And Gold is plunging as expected.... Yummm....

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:54 | 2656272 grekko
grekko's picture

The way that even the MSM is now reporting possible manipulation, it won't last much longer, because if it does go on much longer the shooting will start.  Remember the third Precious Metal...LEAD.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:03 | 2656316 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

If they did'nt shoot or used the third Precious Metal... LEAD when they were getting kettled, pepper sprayed in the face and beaten down on the road, losing pensions on the rigged markets, losing purchasing power of their currencies... and You think they'll start shooting because Gold prices are manipulated?


Everything is staged, the "truth" as well as the lies.

Be smart and play it smart.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:45 | 2656238 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture

Crash already BITCHEZ!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:50 | 2656263 grekko
grekko's picture

It's just the barely solvent loaning to the insolvent in order for them to make interest payments so the barely solvent remain barely solvent.  Wash, rinse, repeat!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:48 | 2656250 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

Countries around the world are taking on more debt without any fruitful attempts to curb their expenditures. This has resulted in a much more fragile and artificially held up financial system which is on a much shaky ground than it was in 2008. In 2008 companies failed due to excessive leverage and debt and now countries are likely to default because they took on the same bad debt on themselves. The borrowing costs or bond yields for these countries are again at record highs for the year due to their deteriorating financial condition.

A single currency for an economy as strong as Germany on one hand and relatively weaker economies like Greece or Ireland on the other is not sustainable in the long run. The idea of the stronger countries in the Euro zone to keep on bailing out the weaker ones repeatedly will be a difficult one to sell to the citizens of the economically stronger countries. Their is no practical way to save the Euro, the only thing that the politicians can do is to lavishly spend tax payers money towards bailouts which creates a much bigger crises a few months down the line but does not solve anything.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:49 | 2656258 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

Is this bullshit or what....

Definition of 'Discounting Mechanism'

The premise that the stock market essentially discounts, or takes into consideration, all available information and present and potential future events. When unexpected developments occur, the market discounts this new information very rapidly. The Efficient Market Hypothesis (EMH) is based on the hypothesis that the stock market is a very efficient discounting mechanism.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:55 | 2656276 TheLuckyGeneral
TheLuckyGeneral's picture

one of the PIIGS is, obviously, bowing out this weekend the scumbags are talking it up to get short at better levels.....

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:00 | 2656282 Piranha
Piranha's picture

MerkelHollande wearing Draghi's underwear from yesterday


edit: over the weekend the EU commission will rehearse same message to perform in unison when markets open on monday

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:56 | 2656283 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture

they prepared it well this time, ban on shorting financials in italy, reducing margin requirements, Draghi making promises he may or may not be able to keep...

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:00 | 2656306 Too Big 2
Too Big 2's picture

So I guess if bonds yields don't come down they are going to promise and threaten that they will continue to promise and threaten more? 

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:59 | 2656308 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

The only way out is default or a fiscal union to collect taxes backed by guns.  They need to start telling the truth.


I'm not sure how ready Europe is for the new "victors" (vs the old victors, which is one in the same) to be marching in with guns to take their gold and valuables again.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:17 | 2656360 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 They can pump all the money they want into system. It doesn't change the fact that the world is delevering, and demand just isn't there to drive the markets higher. They Europeans chewed through the 1T of LTRO money in 4-5 months , and they still need at least 2T more that we know of. This crap is so priced in now , it's a lose/ lose proposition. When people start focusing on the markets and not bailouts next week the shit will hit the fan! I wouldn't be surprised to see come covering going into the W/E , for fear of a Sunday tapebomb, sinse a gnat fart out of Europe moves the markets.

  I still can't believe gbp/usd has moved 330 pips ( 24 hours) when GB is in recession and has a negative GDP. The only thing I can think of is that the SNB sold a bunch of those euros they have accumulated maintaining that 1.20 eur/chf peg.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:22 | 2656409 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

"Translation (for non-European-speakers): Europe promises to talk much more. Also promises to not actually do anything as long as it takes."

The bottom line is they have no plan to create the millions of good jobs needed to turn the EU around.  They are lost in the dark.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:31 | 2656450 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Hey! It is summer holiday in Europe. We have better things to do than worry about the economy. Like lying on this new Spiderman beach towel.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 12:00 | 2656845 radicall
radicall's picture

what do bonds know that stocks don't?

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