• Sprott Money
    05/26/2016 - 05:58
    How many “emergency” “secret” meetings do the central planners around the world need to have before the citizens of the respective countries begin to fully understand and take notice that something...

More European Any- And Every-Thing Promises Jerk Market Higher

Tyler Durden's picture


Well it had to come, hope was fading. Special delivery via telephone from her vacation (via Bloomberg)...


Translation (for non-European-speakers): Europe promises to talk much more. Also promises to not actually do anything as long as it takes.

  • Germany, France: must implement June summit conclusions quickly. Market ramps on hope that the event that ramped it in June, is implemented

In summary, the Eurozone is committed to preserving itself. Truly breaking news which will trigger all EURUSD stop losses



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Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:26 | 2656135 jeff314
jeff314's picture

Bye Bye AAA rating for Germany

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:28 | 2656140 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

Germany loves inflation

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:34 | 2656180 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Gonna have everything fixed by next week.....you think prices are high right now......just wait.


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:41 | 2656203 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

C'mon, seriously. Did anyone expect anything else? It's the same thing as when the Mexican government several years ago told their people the wouldn't devalue the currency. What happened? They devalued. Big-time.

It is time for us to simply ignore the politicians comments entirely. This would be more devastating then joking about what they have to say.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:50 | 2656262 SMG
SMG's picture

Everyone is really making an effort to pump the markets/euro this week and the past few.   I bet something bad is coming soon.  

I really think we're going to have to a "crash" style drop in the market before they do another QE.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:52 | 2656269 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Think of the good side, since their words are totally worthless they should have very little impact on inflation.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:07 | 2656346 fredquimby
fredquimby's picture


It is time for us to simply ignore the politicians comments entirely.

But that is the beauty of the EURO - it cannot be touched or fucked up by the european politicoes. THEY CAN DO NOTHING TO SAVE IT. Thats the point. It was specifically designed like that!!

My Dad keeps banging on about "well, if they can't set their own interest rates or print money, they are screwed", not realizing it is him the English pensioner that is actually being screwed by the UK Govt, because they do set their own rates and are printing more of the money he has his savings denominated in.....

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 11:23 | 2656662 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Yes Inflation + Germany = War in Europe

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656157 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Merkel + circle jerk = Merjerkel

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:37 | 2656194 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Urkel Jerk

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:46 | 2656243 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:27 | 2656138 Peter K
Peter K's picture

It's the Elvis strategy. Enjoy :)


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:55 | 2656277 SheepRevolution
SheepRevolution's picture

More like the Backstreet Boys strategy. The EMU should make "Anything for you" their national anthem:



Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:58 | 2656292 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

From back when they still wrote tunes for the foxtrot.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:27 | 2656139 Duenyas
Duenyas's picture

Everyone is invited to join "will do anything for eurozone" party.

"To protect", not to "Save" !!!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656173 engineertheeconomy
engineertheeconomy's picture

"To protect the money printing Mania"

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656155 DavidJ
DavidJ's picture

Sh*t!  Lost 250! on that hopium!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656159 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

They actually said they would do anything for your ozone.

Its the tricky accents that cause the confusion...

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:30 | 2656162 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Breaking...Hollande buys Merkel a tube of lipstick...cosmetic company shares surge!!!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:35 | 2656186 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Markel seen buying several ball-gags and a colonic kit.


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656223 Haager
Haager's picture

Even if you put lipstick on it remains an - err - Merkel.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656164 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Well, hopefully the euro(zone) dies before i do. Pffff

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656165 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Merkel congratulates any France workers who retired this month at the ago of 58 and wishes them well. Promises to make sure Germans bust their ass right up till they take a dirtnap to preserve a wonderful and stress free retirement for said Frenchmen.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:31 | 2656167 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

Shorts are now on the run as stops are being hit everywhere.


The "Draghi Pie-Hole Effect" worked.

Isn't Central Banking easy?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656174 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Just like the bubbles you blow with Blankfein's cum?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656222 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

"Isn't central banking easy?" Yep, if they can just pump the DOW about another 1200 points it will be back to where it was 5 years ago. It shouldn't cost more than <another> 3-4 T$.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:49 | 2656256 Bogdog
Bogdog's picture

I'm gonna ride it a while longer. When the Merkel vacay is over, maybe she'll throw a wet blanket on everything.

Sat, 07/28/2012 - 16:10 | 2659352 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture


How's your facebook shares ?

Easy as pie short - even a caveman can do it.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656169 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Interesting how France is going to "help"

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:59 | 2656300 GERxit
GERxit's picture

jep, they help by being helped :-)

However I was missing the "BELIEVE ME" part in the statement... maybe that hints towards something?!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:32 | 2656172 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

Bring your kneepads Merkeljerkel

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656178 Conman
Conman's picture

Who needs  financial analysts, MBA degrees, etc etc. Just fire them all, none of that matters. Markets are a complete fucking joke.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:33 | 2656181 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

I'm psyched, feel as good as after the last summit.

btw: "protect the euro"? Still fighting speculators? OMG

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656191 Bastiat009
Bastiat009's picture

Hollande's arrogance is equaled only by his incompetency.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:05 | 2656332 falak pema
falak pema's picture

no no, nobody can match US arrogance; he still has a lot to learn from GWB and all those who made this miracle. He is just running behind the FED pump. 

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:09 | 2656357 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

He seems pretty good to me...at fucking his own country up ;O)

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656196 arkel
arkel's picture

It's amazing that anyone thinks creating money out of thin air can save an economy. If it were so easy, every country would be rich beyond comprehension.
Waiting for the shit to finally hit the fan is frustrating. Why is it taking people so long to figure this out?
The longer we postpone, the more shit is going to hit that fan and at a higher speed setting.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:36 | 2656198 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What a joke this has become. They haven't said a damn thing and this "market"ramps up. P.T. Barnum was right when he said "there s a sucker born every minute".

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656201 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

Credit to all those with ongoing creative & humorous commentary on this perpetual BS but is anyone at all feeling just a wee bit exhausted?? In other word, Fuck It!

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:24 | 2656414 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

I second that.

I think, waking up everyday or even refreshing headlines hoping to read "The EUR/USD/Financial System has collapsed!" kind of headlines are emotionally taxing and wearing us out.

We need to snap out of this mindset or else we will be too worn out and psychologically fatigued to do anything positive about it... Like a someone who finally did get married.... at 75.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656204 Peter K
Peter K's picture

Europe speaking with one voice.... until the vacations end:)

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:50 | 2656261 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

how do you spell     J-A-W-B-O-N-E

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:38 | 2656206 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

I read this and all i think is: "Gimme Shelter".

War, Children it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away......

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:56 | 2656280 XitSam
Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:06 | 2656333 elysithea
elysithea's picture


The magic rabbits and fudge have run out so I would assume that the next step for these morons is indeed war. They could start printing but that might help some debt slaves escape their control.

There are a growing number of voices saying No,Nein,non where No means No. A very interesting German perspective from Dr Rath can be seen here:


Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:40 | 2656211 JPMorgan
JPMorgan's picture

I doubt Germany is ready to do   A N Y T H I N G.

Just words till they actually DO something.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 10:13 | 2656369 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

You can save that post for next year, and the year after, and the year after..........

Who believes this crap anymore?

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:42 | 2656218 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Yea they got it all figured out alright. Until they don't at which point this market crashes and burns from undestanding all the BS spewed has done absolutely zero besides add mountains of debt to the already mountains of debt sitting around 5 years ago. Pump it up all they want it will not change the inevitable.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:43 | 2656225 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Everyone marching in place, marking time, until 'the event'...watch and see the next 9-11 right when no one expects it but is waiting with hands out for free money which is 100% guaranteed coming at any minute.

Fri, 07/27/2012 - 09:44 | 2656228 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

unlike you big traders here im up 30k on the year.. i know im small potatooes but you have to start somewhere..lol..keep posting the good info..

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