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The horror, the horror:

  • EU-27 RELEASES STATEMENT AFTER BRUSSELS SUMMIT
  • EU-27 SAYS COMMISSION MUST URGENTLY EXPLORE BANK GUARANTEES
  • EU SAYS BANKS SHOULD FIRST FIND PRIVATE SOURCES TO RAISE FUNDS
  • EU SAYS STATE AID RULES ON BANKS SHOULD BE PROPORTIONAL
  • EU SAYS MID-TERM BANK FUNDING MUST HEAD OFF CREDIT CRUNCH RISK

Source: Bloomberg

 

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Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:11 | 1813471 Mugatu
Mugatu's picture

blah, blah, blah, blah!

 

Nothing new!

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:17 | 1813510 caerus
caerus's picture

sound and fury...signifying nothing

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:40 | 1814163 tooktheredpill
tooktheredpill's picture

from Barry Ritholtz at the big picture:

"It seems that the European leaders have come to some sort of an agreement about the near term deliberations. They now apparently have mapped out all of the details about their strategy for their next meeting, where they will make a plan to debate what sort of tactics they want too engage in on their next group summit to kick around an agenda for their next symposium, where they may discuss the bank problems. Over breakfast. Or not."

Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:19 | 1813519 Arius
Arius's picture
  • EU-27 SAYS COMMISSION MUST URGENTLY EXPLORE BANK GUARANTEES
  • I love the word URGENTLY - nice touch of emergency (hmmm for the last....years)... it means it is immediate ... coming ... ohhhh wait it is still in the mail .... but we'll meet next week, and the week after , after, and so on ... to solve it URGENTLY

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:19 | 1813521 HellZero
    HellZero's picture

    must be dinner time

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:12 | 1813475 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture

    Man, that line to lend to these fucks is so long...i lost count! (eye roll)

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:12 | 1813477 thetruth
    thetruth's picture

    what could they possibly talk about in these meetings? the same thing over and over and over? at each meeting? the ultimate groundhog day

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:13 | 1813479 i root for that...
    i root for that fat jersey governor's picture

    if we know the market (and idiots) are going to buy into this kind of bs, then let's play along the game and make some money!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 15:11 | 1813831 spiral galaxy
    spiral galaxy's picture

    Exactly! Basically, make counterintuitive trades.  I look at the market as someone/something trying to 'bait me' into buying into the 'logical' trade when, like Lucy & Charlie Brown with the football, it reverses and take the $$.  Today is a great example.  Frankly, the best way to 'play' the market is just stay the &*#% out.  The manipulation and disconnect from reality is surreal.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:11 | 1814067 i root for that...
    i root for that fat jersey governor's picture

    I wouldn't let those assholes ruin my account so I just have to play the game - get a little bit of bailout money in my account. After giving back some gains yesterday, I got a bit back today. Closed my long account and switched to short - thinking market might collapse soon.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:13 | 1813481 vote_libertaria...
    vote_libertarian_party's picture

    aaaaand the code is fed into the bots and it computes

     

    BUY BUY BUY....everything is FIXED!!!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:28 | 1813561 PAPA ROACH
    PAPA ROACH's picture

    You what would be fucking hilarious? You have your fat fingered trades, you have your rogue traders........have we ever seen a rogue reporter at Reuters or Bloomberg?

     

    Since these robots ingest the headlines, how about a rogue reporter feeding bogus headlines? That could be semi-black swannish eh? The possibilities of bullshit are limitless.

     

    I am no techie, but one of these hacker groups could get into the system the generates the headlines, no? That could put a nice dent in the whole robitic headline reading trading algo world...........one could only dream.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:45 | 1813682 Smartie37
    Smartie37's picture

    GREAT idea -- could be just a two-worder,
    with name + RESIGNS, a la':

    BERNANKE RESIGNS

    GEITHNER RESIGNS

    MERKEL RESIGNS

    .......taxpayers resign ?

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 15:11 | 1813839 PAPA ROACH
    PAPA ROACH's picture

    The power of suggestion..........anyone know a rogue hacker?

     

    GERMANY AND FRANCE TO LEAVE EUROZONE IMMEDIATELY

     

    BERLUSCONI DISCOVERED BUYING ITALIAN CDS IN HIS PERSONAL ACCOUNT

     

     

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:13 | 1813482 mayhem_korner
    mayhem_korner's picture

     

     

    Allow me to translate into 132 languages at once:

    dot-dot-dot, dash-dash-dash, dot-dot-dot (repeat)

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:17 | 1813507 Biggvs
    Biggvs's picture

    Save Our Scum

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:13 | 1813484 Haddock
    Haddock's picture

    Nothing to see here, move along.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:14 | 1813487 Caviar Emptor
    Caviar Emptor's picture

    Fist Fight breaks out in Italian Parliament

    http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000053363

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:16 | 1813504 caerus
    caerus's picture

    beat me to it...lol

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:14 | 1813489 NEOSERF
    NEOSERF's picture

    Wow, that is even less than I thought would come from them and the markets love it...time to put more shorts on as only bank failures will motivate this clown car...

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:14 | 1813495 vote_libertaria...
    vote_libertarian_party's picture

    2 hours before the close is a loooooong time to pump up the markets on vapor headlines.

     

    FT usually waits until 30 minutes until the close.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:15 | 1813498 Let them eat iPads
    Let them eat iPads's picture

    For the love of Zorba, just default already.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:16 | 1813499 Comay Mierda
    Comay Mierda's picture

    when does Greece run out of cash?

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:15 | 1813500 kaiserhoff
    kaiserhoff's picture

    Dear EU,

    Here's the plan.  Find a Leprechaun.  Crush his nuts until he tells you where his gold is.

    I guarantee this makes more sense than what you are doing.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:26 | 1813559 Rhone_Ranger
    Rhone_Ranger's picture

    Na, the Irish have already tried that and it didn't work.....  Maybe they should go after the leprechaun's whiskey instead?

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:16 | 1813502 legal eagle
    legal eagle's picture

    Yes, good luck "finding private sources" for the funds.....LMAO

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:16 | 1813503 eaglefalcon
    eaglefalcon's picture

    Stop the bluffing and print 3 trillions already!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 16:27 | 1814123 ElvisDog
    ElvisDog's picture

    The problem with just printing 3 trillion Euros is that it wouldn't address the structural deficits in many of the Euro countries. If the total deficit spending burn rate of the PIIGS is, say, $100B a month (I'm just pulling that number out of my butt), then after 30 months they've burned through the 3 trillion and are in the same situation. Except it's worse because now you need more than 3 trillion because those countries have to pay interest on the first 3 trillion. Just printing doesn't work unless and until something is done about the structural deficits in those countries.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:17 | 1813506 redpill
    redpill's picture

    EU-27 SAYS EVERYTHING IS FINE, LOOK WE ARE RELEASING STATEMENTS WITH TANGENTIAL BUT CONFIDENT-SOUNDING FINANCIAL PHRASES, GO BACK TO BUYING STOCKS AND PRETENDING EUROPE IS SOLVED PLEASE.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:17 | 1813508 Darth Sidious
    Darth Sidious's picture

    is summit the right word for the meeting?

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:17 | 1813509 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    EU summit last ditch final meeting results-- 'OH wow we better schedule some more meetings'!!

    I wish my damn head would just explode already...WTF??

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:18 | 1813517 redpill
    redpill's picture

    Maybe they think if they keep having meetings it means Greece won't default, like Wiley E. Coyote continuing to run off the cliff as long as he doesnt' look down.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:18 | 1813514 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    'We need to find private sources for funding'....Hmmmm you mean the US taxpayer thru the private Federal Reserve? 

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813537 redpill
    redpill's picture

    Correct!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813542 Dr. No
    Dr. No's picture

    You are on to something.  The FED is private with a record of investing in banks and companies.  Where would they get the money?  Where could a private company get the amount of money needed to save EU?  humm....

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:18 | 1813516 legal eagle
    legal eagle's picture

    Talk about word-smithing.  They say absolutely nothing.

    You would think the promise to QE would be good for a bolt up in PMs, but nope.

    The phrases are purposefully vague.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:23 | 1813547 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Yea I think they now meet just to decide design how to best print the next set of headlines. 

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:19 | 1813518 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture

    Why is it that Germany, my roots, HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERY SINGLE WORLD OCCURANCE? EVERY SINGLE ONE....WW1, 2 (obviously both), Roman Empire etc.

     

    Every single time....

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:39 | 1813632 slavador
    slavador's picture

    Germany has always been the muscle backed brains of Europe. The best run most prosperous European tribes will obviously be involved in running things (and all the jealous losers will try to loot them). Lazy groupings of men are always trying to crush and extract wealth from the Germans instead of simply doing their own work. If Russia and Germany and China work together (brawn + brains +obedience +resources), they could easily enslave the rest of us.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:19 | 1813523 Quintus
    Quintus's picture

    Is the idea to bore us all to death with an endless stream of meetings, conferences, anodyne headlines, and vacuous documents?  

    Then when we are conditioned to the point that our eyes glaze over at the mere mention of 'Euro' they can brush the whole problem under the carpet and forget that it ever happened?

    If that's the plan, I have to say it's working.

     

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813527 kaa1016
    kaa1016's picture

    This whole thing is just bullshit. They know exactly how to play the headline reading algo's. They could put out the same press release every day and every day the market would have the same exact response, which is to go higher.

    This is a textbook form of psychological warfare.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:24 | 1813534 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    This is BULLSHIT! No way in HELL should we be here in the US hanging on every word these European DICKS say daily! 

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:21 | 1813535 Gief Gold Plox
    Gief Gold Plox's picture

    Will they please for the love of Gold please let Greece finally default as it should have two years ago? This is getting to be the worst fucking soap opera ever. Ugliest cast too. I hate these people.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:22 | 1813536 onlooker
    onlooker's picture

    y Valentina Pop

    Brussels - Peace should not be taken for granted if the euro fails, German chancellor Merkel told MPs Wednesday (26 October) ahead of the eurozone summit where an increase of the bail-out fund firepower may lead to Germany's own state assets being taken as collateral.

    In a dark blue jacket reflecting the mood in and about the eurozone, Merkel abandoned her usual cautious rhetoric warned outright of a war.

    "Nobody should take for granted another 50 years of peace and prosperity in Europe. They are not for granted. That's why I say: If the euro fails, Europe fails," Merkel said, followed by a long applause from all political groups.

    "We have a historical obligation: To protect by all means Europe's unification process begun by our forefathers after centuries of hatred and blood spill. None of us can foresee what the consequences would be if we were

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:31 | 1813580 Dr. No
    Dr. No's picture

    Sounds like EU needs an Space Alien invasion just like the US.  Declare war on Aliens per the Nobeloriate in Economics and get a Nobel Peace prise of saving humanity.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:57 | 1813764 Elwood P Suggins
    Elwood P Suggins's picture

    WOW!  From a country with Germany's past that could be considered a threat.

     

    SHOCK & AWE anyone?

     

    Pork Chops Forever!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:28 | 1813570 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Did you even notice the wording in all these headlines out of these European meetings of DICKS always has the tone that someone ESE is supposed to be doing something?

    'This must be done this way, that must be done in that way'....WHATEVER dicks, DO IT!

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:28 | 1813572 virgilcaine
    virgilcaine's picture

    One  can sense their desperation.

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:33 | 1813589 NDXTrader
    NDXTrader's picture

    The only way for this to stop is for the market to go down right now and continue down to let them know can-kicking time is over. Sigh...I can dream can't I?

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 14:41 | 1813656 Odin
    Odin's picture

    Can someone explain to me what sort of morons actually buy on news like this? I mean, I know the algos drive up the price with bids, but can that really account for all off this rallying?....Seriously someone help me out here...

    Wed, 10/26/2011 - 15:29 | 1813915 Mark123
    Mark123's picture

    Fear of missing the rally.

     

    Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public.

    Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!