The Mother Of All Chart Porn - Presenting Goldman's Top 100 Favorite Charts

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Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:52 | 1986555 swani
swani's picture

Porn always sells, especially in these difficult times. 

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:58 | 1986579 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Not very well though, but RedTube hits are way up.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:03 | 1986599 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

You see, now that the Orwellian Camera is in everybody's phone, everyone who is now cnditioned enough, is out there, porning the web. Masterful.

The best slaves are self-enslaved slaves. Which is most people/slaves.

Asleep at the wheel.

And that first GLI chart.... beautiful. The rest, NUMBers.

ori

/this-that-and-the-4th-reich/

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:06 | 1986604 Scottj88
Scottj88's picture

I have seen better doodles at a gradeschool art competition.

These chumps have people pay them for this bullshit?

No matter what chart they draw, it does not mask the fact that this company should not exist the way it does.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:15 | 1986632 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Considering the practice of trading against their own clients is fairly well documented, I keep asking myself: Is there something I am missing about the services their clients get? I tend to assume there are lots of stupid people out there but that there are still many out there who are smarter than we think. It's that second smaller group of people I can't understand here.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:26 | 1986832 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Didn't see this one...

GS down -44% YTD. 

How will Lord Blankfein justify big bonuses?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:46 | 1986896 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1  Ha ha!  Good one!  Got 'em there!

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:00 | 1986947 SwimmininNawlins
SwimmininNawlins's picture

It's funny because you think he needs to justify it.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:27 | 1986957 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

More sad than funny, don't you think?.  Nevertheless, it is likely he will justify paying out big bonuses.  My question is how?

  1. "Must retain quality talent."
  2. "Contractually obligated."
  3. "They're not really bonuses."
  4. "Good for American families."
  5. "Tradition."
  6. "Focused on winning the future."
  7. "How about that war in Iran?"
  8. "We have shareholders?"
  9. "Fuck all you shareholders, we're going private."
  10. "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

 

 

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:38 | 1987099 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

LOL

Yeah, #10 in the GS conference room.

How about:

"Your schwartz is not as big as mine."

"If it were up to God, he would give us twice what we are giving ourselves."

"We are providing trickle down liquidity to N.Y. service workers."

"We need the money for flu shots."

"It's only money."

 

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:52 | 1987180 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"It's only money."

or "proceeds" as the case may be...

fuck mafia charts

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 14:09 | 1987509 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

Schwartz is a surname. I think you mean schvantz.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:42 | 1987124 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

He needs to justify them?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:52 | 1986918 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

if by clients, you mean our government, then yes

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:20 | 1986649 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Sure GS lets talk about all these 'trends' and whatnot with the removal of 3 years of ZIRP and rescuing every flailing insolvent bank practically on a daily basis....where would we be then? Wheres that chart?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:21 | 1986654 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Actually, unless this is supposed to illustrate some strange attractor (for which I would say they need waaaay more data) I dont' see why an x vs. dx/dt graph is more illustrative of an x vs. t graph. Actually, even if you play around with something like the Lorenz equations, it's still just cool pictures. I don't know how you make predictive assessments of stochastic systems from images like this. Is it a complicated way to shrug your shoulders while still trying to imply you are a mensa member?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:05 | 1986773 Biosci
Biosci's picture

You've just described 2/3 of computational biology.  And probably many other fields as well.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:11 | 1986978 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Don't tell the students who are borrowing money to finance their graduate degrees (or the profs going for tenure or with tenure or administrators or...).

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:41 | 1987116 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Well, I'm an engineering professor surrounded by this stuff all the time. The funding chasing gig is all about making your incremental contributions look like Nobel prize winning work because apparently just being good isn't enough.

It's sad how many people chase the metrics of excellence, thinking it's a shortcut, instead of just chasing the excellence.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:54 | 1987190 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"It's sad how many people chase the metrics of excellence, thinking it's a shortcut, instead of just chasing the excellence."

welkome to amerika

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 15:11 | 1987734 Biosci
Biosci's picture

This is not unique to America.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:22 | 1986826 Number 156
Number 156's picture

The GLI chart is really what the death spiral looks like as viewed from above.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 13:52 | 1987423 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

i don't own a cell phone. live free.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 14:20 | 1987557 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

"When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it" ~ Frederic Bastiat.

 

A return to the center....no-thing and every-thing.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 14:25 | 1987577 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

... and a pseudo-science that "explains" it.

I guess Lord Keynes didn't quite get the job done.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:55 | 1987196 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

So according to the graph, I suppose we've arrived at our 'Pineal gland' moment?

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:12 | 1986797 johnu78
johnu78's picture

Unfortunately you're right!

 

-John
http://www.youtube.com/carmarketer

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 12:33 | 1987072 skohiu
skohiu's picture

Chart looks like a testicle

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 13:00 | 1987224 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

considering it shows the globes leading indicators from '08 to present, I'd say it is...

consider it a Goldman trophy chart of an, as yet, unanswered bollocking ....

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:55 | 1986565 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

I feel like yesterday and today are just levitation of the markets for the Zynga IPO, especially as seeing how GS is the main underwriter.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:12 | 1986618 Matevski
Matevski's picture

Ron Paul Moneybomb today! Time for you Americans to dig deep in your pockets! We over here in Europe are fudged...

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:55 | 1986567 Cassandra Syndrome
Cassandra Syndrome's picture

Charts bitchez

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:57 | 1986571 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Charts: if you've seen one, you've seen them all...

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:57 | 1986572 scratch_en_sniff
scratch_en_sniff's picture

No download????

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:58 | 1986578 High_Pockets
High_Pockets's picture

A requiem for a dream...

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:14 | 1986628 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

...and I awoke, faintly bouncing around the room, was the echo of whomever spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfdcHOtAxhY

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:58 | 1986580 equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

Page 12 - the other brics are also set to drive global demand.

*No they are not Jim , no they are not.

 

Page 14 - and hence global trade is bounce to increase.

* Strike 2

 

Page 18 - structural trends in technology should trump cyclical slumps.

STRIKE 3 YOURE OUT.

 

 

More garabage from the Squid. Desperately trying to suck in more punters with this BS Emerging Markets meme.

 

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:05 | 1986605 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Um, yeah. Why do you think they picked 100? Who remembers chart 5 by the time they get to chart 37?

Pointless complexity = obscurantism = GS 'business model'

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:58 | 1986581 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I only got to chart 6.  Hair trigger.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:58 | 1986582 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

I thought it was going to be one of those cheesy picture of all the vampire squid management wishing us a merry christmas.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:59 | 1986583 youngman
youngman's picture

Looks like a brain......hmmm

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:48 | 1986724 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

That's all I could make out. Perhaps the joke is on us.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 11:26 | 1986835 buckethead
buckethead's picture

"This is your brain.... This is your brain on squid."

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:59 | 1986584 dumpster
dumpster's picture

Fortnightly Thoughts

another 14 night two week observation

called new language fart nightly

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 09:59 | 1986585 vegas
vegas's picture

Looks like a diagram of Stolper's brain. In that case, hide the children.

 

http://vegasxau.blogspot.com

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:00 | 1986588 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

The obvious name for #1 is "BRAINS....." stated in your best zombie voice

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:00 | 1986589 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

That first chart reminds me of looking down a drain. That's odd.

Fri, 12/16/2011 - 10:00 | 1986591 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

A bunch of dudes over at the SEC are angry right now.

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