The Mother Of All Chart Porn - Presenting Goldman's Top 100 Favorite Charts

Tyler Durden's picture

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swani's picture

Porn always sells, especially in these difficult times. 

firstdivision's picture

Not very well though, but RedTube hits are way up.

Oh regional Indian's picture

You see, now that the Orwellian Camera is in everybody's phone, everyone who is now cnditioned enough, is out there, porning the web. Masterful.

The best slaves are self-enslaved slaves. Which is most people/slaves.

Asleep at the wheel.

And that first GLI chart.... beautiful. The rest, NUMBers.

ori

/this-that-and-the-4th-reich/

Scottj88's picture

I have seen better doodles at a gradeschool art competition.

These chumps have people pay them for this bullshit?

No matter what chart they draw, it does not mask the fact that this company should not exist the way it does.

BobPaulson's picture

Considering the practice of trading against their own clients is fairly well documented, I keep asking myself: Is there something I am missing about the services their clients get? I tend to assume there are lots of stupid people out there but that there are still many out there who are smarter than we think. It's that second smaller group of people I can't understand here.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Didn't see this one...

GS down -44% YTD. 

How will Lord Blankfein justify big bonuses?

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

+ 1  Ha ha!  Good one!  Got 'em there!

SwimmininNawlins's picture

It's funny because you think he needs to justify it.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

More sad than funny, don't you think?.  Nevertheless, it is likely he will justify paying out big bonuses.  My question is how?

  1. "Must retain quality talent."
  2. "Contractually obligated."
  3. "They're not really bonuses."
  4. "Good for American families."
  5. "Tradition."
  6. "Focused on winning the future."
  7. "How about that war in Iran?"
  8. "We have shareholders?"
  9. "Fuck all you shareholders, we're going private."
  10. "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

 

 

ebworthen's picture

LOL

Yeah, #10 in the GS conference room.

How about:

"Your schwartz is not as big as mine."

"If it were up to God, he would give us twice what we are giving ourselves."

"We are providing trickle down liquidity to N.Y. service workers."

"We need the money for flu shots."

"It's only money."

 

Bananamerican's picture

"It's only money."

or "proceeds" as the case may be...

fuck mafia charts

Liquid Courage's picture

Schwartz is a surname. I think you mean schvantz.

DaveyJones's picture

if by clients, you mean our government, then yes

SheepDog-One's picture

Sure GS lets talk about all these 'trends' and whatnot with the removal of 3 years of ZIRP and rescuing every flailing insolvent bank practically on a daily basis....where would we be then? Wheres that chart?

BobPaulson's picture

Actually, unless this is supposed to illustrate some strange attractor (for which I would say they need waaaay more data) I dont' see why an x vs. dx/dt graph is more illustrative of an x vs. t graph. Actually, even if you play around with something like the Lorenz equations, it's still just cool pictures. I don't know how you make predictive assessments of stochastic systems from images like this. Is it a complicated way to shrug your shoulders while still trying to imply you are a mensa member?

Biosci's picture

You've just described 2/3 of computational biology.  And probably many other fields as well.

kridkrid's picture

Don't tell the students who are borrowing money to finance their graduate degrees (or the profs going for tenure or with tenure or administrators or...).

BobPaulson's picture

Well, I'm an engineering professor surrounded by this stuff all the time. The funding chasing gig is all about making your incremental contributions look like Nobel prize winning work because apparently just being good isn't enough.

It's sad how many people chase the metrics of excellence, thinking it's a shortcut, instead of just chasing the excellence.

Bananamerican's picture

"It's sad how many people chase the metrics of excellence, thinking it's a shortcut, instead of just chasing the excellence."

welkome to amerika

Biosci's picture

This is not unique to America.

Number 156's picture

The GLI chart is really what the death spiral looks like as viewed from above.

lemonobrien's picture

i don't own a cell phone. live free.

bonderøven-farm ass's picture

"When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it" ~ Frederic Bastiat.

 

A return to the center....no-thing and every-thing.

Liquid Courage's picture

... and a pseudo-science that "explains" it.

I guess Lord Keynes didn't quite get the job done.

Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

So according to the graph, I suppose we've arrived at our 'Pineal gland' moment?

skohiu's picture

Chart looks like a testicle

Bananamerican's picture

considering it shows the globes leading indicators from '08 to present, I'd say it is...

consider it a Goldman trophy chart of an, as yet, unanswered bollocking ....

firstdivision's picture

I feel like yesterday and today are just levitation of the markets for the Zynga IPO, especially as seeing how GS is the main underwriter.

Matevski's picture

Ron Paul Moneybomb today! Time for you Americans to dig deep in your pockets! We over here in Europe are fudged...

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Charts: if you've seen one, you've seen them all...

High_Pockets's picture

A requiem for a dream...

equity_momo's picture

Page 12 - the other brics are also set to drive global demand.

*No they are not Jim , no they are not.

 

Page 14 - and hence global trade is bounce to increase.

* Strike 2

 

Page 18 - structural trends in technology should trump cyclical slumps.

STRIKE 3 YOURE OUT.

 

 

More garabage from the Squid. Desperately trying to suck in more punters with this BS Emerging Markets meme.

 

GeneMarchbanks's picture

Um, yeah. Why do you think they picked 100? Who remembers chart 5 by the time they get to chart 37?

Pointless complexity = obscurantism = GS 'business model'

JPM Hater001's picture

I only got to chart 6.  Hair trigger.

Dr. No's picture

I thought it was going to be one of those cheesy picture of all the vampire squid management wishing us a merry christmas.

youngman's picture

Looks like a brain......hmmm

gmrpeabody's picture

That's all I could make out. Perhaps the joke is on us.

buckethead's picture

"This is your brain.... This is your brain on squid."

dumpster's picture

Fortnightly Thoughts

another 14 night two week observation

called new language fart nightly

vegas's picture

Looks like a diagram of Stolper's brain. In that case, hide the children.

 

http://vegasxau.blogspot.com

spanish inquisition's picture

The obvious name for #1 is "BRAINS....." stated in your best zombie voice

Schmuck Raker's picture

That first chart reminds me of looking down a drain. That's odd.

kridkrid's picture

A bunch of dudes over at the SEC are angry right now.