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Muppet-Gate Meets Blank-Berg

Tyler Durden's picture


In one of the strangest headlines from Bloomberg today, MuppetGate takes on a new life...


Caption Contest seems appropriate...



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Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:19 | 2259556 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

"You know we're better liars than Bernanke. This will be cake."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:23 | 2259574 redpill
redpill's picture

Look at them!  You just know you could tear their skin off and little squiddy eyeballs and sharp teeth would be underneath.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:28 | 2259604 trav7777
trav7777's picture

comparing notes on how to stick hands up muppets' asses

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:33 | 2259619 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture



These folks really are under-represented in this country!  

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:39 | 2259647 redpill
redpill's picture

Oh sorry, I forgot the caption...

"Consumed with arousal over the thought of screwing average people, the oligarchs carefully obscured their erections whilst planning their next scheme."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259658 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



"And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen. I didn't ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:45 | 2259673 mikla
mikla's picture

"They say we should seek medical help if it becomes painful or if our erections last longer than four hours."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:56 | 2259714 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"... and then Jamie said, "that's not how we do business!".... holy shit..., I could barely keep from peeing my pants"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:07 | 2259765 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

(stereo)  "Excccelent"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:10 | 2259779 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Hold your hands firmly because one of those muppets might kick us in the gonads

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:47 | 2260124 Manthong
Manthong's picture

“This sheep screwing is really something, isn’t it?”

..“I’ll show you my woodie if you show me yours.”

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:08 | 2260202 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

We are cunts. King cunts.


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:27 | 2260263 rcintc
rcintc's picture

It's easy to grin when your ship comes in.......

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:49 | 2260335 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

"So whens the Bunga Bunga begin?"


"As soon as Corzine arrives."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:47 | 2260536 trav7777
trav7777's picture

"do you like blowtorching silverbugz as much as I do?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:51 | 2260548 4xaddict
4xaddict's picture

LB: when they start throwing rotten fruit cover your jubes like this

MB: hahha,....... jubes

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:21 | 2260646 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Guess what Bloomie..... I made 20 million last week.  How are you?


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:34 | 2260682 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

"Maniacal laugh...."  "Maniacal laugh...."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:54 | 2260734 BeatTheMarket
BeatTheMarket's picture

"Muppets, they're grrreat!"

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 00:02 | 2260756 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

"Did you get a call from Rothschild, too?!"

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 01:38 | 2260937 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture




"No, Cialis."


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 01:59 | 2260960 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

"R ya woikin?"

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 02:25 | 2260983 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Green for Roth quote and for the top two movies ever made!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259670 yabyum
yabyum's picture

Is that a pickle in your pocket?, Or are you just happy to see me.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:47 | 2259686 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

nah...just still sore from circumcision.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:55 | 2259710 prains
prains's picture slime, you ain't seen nuttin yet

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:21 | 2260647 chipshot
chipshot's picture

bey blommie

the viagra is great for morning wood then on to muppet smashin.... 


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:34 | 2259877 o_rly
o_rly's picture

People are starting to see the way Jews network and occupy every position of power they can. Ok fine, but then they use that power to fuck over every last person while on their way to getting their hands every last dollar they can, and so on. Look at all the major players in the financial industry, especially the government, and you'll most likely see a Jew running the show.

You forgot to mention Mary Shapiro, Gary Gensler, and Blankfein's number two, Kohn.

These people absolutely control the country.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:43 | 2260111 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

well they are the "chosen" people, so...
can't understand why they've been kicked out of every country they've ever occupied. can't underdtand that at all.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:34 | 2260501 bankruptcylawyer
bankruptcylawyer's picture

not only do we control the country, but we control your mind, and we make you think that 'we' are the problem so that we can get rich of you in the process. 


mwahahahahhahahah!!!!!! go jews!!!


oh regional nut face i've been watching your postings for a long time and i think what lloyd is saying to bloomberg is that he just jizzed all over your dim witted face and it felt great.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 00:15 | 2260791 o_rly
o_rly's picture

At least try to capitalize your sentences bud.

I actually think there's some really nice individual Jews out there, but unfortunately you have this group of bankers, Zionists, and "stereotypical" Jews who do actively try to put themselves and each other before everyone else to the detriment of the rest of the country.

And I don't think education is the primary reason why Jews have an intellectual advantage. On average, they probably have a much higher IQ than white Europeans and a number of studies back this up and their emphasis on education just allows them to better exploit their IQ. That, on top of the fact that they are much better at ethnic networking and sharp-elbowed tactics than their goy counterparts, gives them a huge leg up.

Everyone is always prattling on about education while ignoring the basic racial differences not only between Jews and white Europeans, but also every other race.


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 03:39 | 2261041 Troll Magnet
Troll Magnet's picture

they're not smarter than you or me orly. just a lot more crooked. at the end of the day, they're still homeless unless you consider israel to be their land. i don't. it belongs to palestineans.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 10:24 | 2261607 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

Who does america's land "rightfully" belong to, troll?



Fri, 03/16/2012 - 14:06 | 2262610 Umh
Umh's picture

The American Indians of course and they're retaking it too since more of them come to this country every day.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 13:05 | 2262277 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

IQ measures just how educated the mind is, and since you've established that some peoples revere being educated in order to get ahead in business life, perhaps this is the "exploit" you refer to.

of course, as we've seen, some education pays better than other education, those who get "that" education seek out each other, and promote each other, etc. - it's a network, and it's repeated in many examples if one looks closely.

but above all - the education illustrates the way minds are trained to think, and shows what they do with this mind training.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 07:28 | 2261182 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Spoken like a true yid.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 10:53 | 2261703 e-recep
e-recep's picture

never underestimate the growing hatred. it's growing deeper, it's growing stronger. just look at the number of green arrows here and let me remind you, this is so among the educated few. imagine how easily and eagerly the average joe would buy and own the idea.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:48 | 2260539 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

It's a relief there are no WASP predatory bankers.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 02:03 | 2260967 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Lezzee..Corzine, H. Paulson....gimme a few weeks an I might think of another...

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 09:50 | 2261504 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

That was facetiousness. I hope you're all not as dumb as you're appearing.


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 23:11 | 2260596 4xaddict
4xaddict's picture

Generations of fostering and encouraging education will tend to give you a leg up, so will encouraging the most intelligent in your community as the leaders of your religion to have kids of their own.

This is what happens when folks don't live racked with Catholic guilt under the direction of a completely draconian institution.

There are zealots in all faiths, pretty sure these guys don't satisfy the requirements just like most Christians or Muslims.

When you encourage intellect as a key tennet of your culture, you will naturally gain an advantage, the only way to preserve your culture as a small minority race in the global scale.

This is obviously why Jews traditionally do poorly in times on conflict, brains can't outmatch braun in the most primitive of environments.

I'm not a jew nor am I bound by the crippling political correctness virus western society has enslavened itself with. I am a realist and folks of jewish roots do seem to be disproportionately represented in finance and leadership positions given the demographics of the country. What is the solution to this? Get average folks to foster education and community as central to their lives again and they will find prosperity.

It's all the jews do, get an education and look out for one another. Doesn't sound as evil to me like many of you fuckers on here seem to make out.

The fact the jews are so densely populated and represented in positions of power is an indictment on the level of productivity and work ethic of those who aren't and yet for some reason feel slighted.

GMAFB - life's hard, it's all the jews fault. There are so few jews globally as a proportion of the population these arguements about their race for global domination is complete horse shit. You and your forefathers all worked for someone rather than taking the leap of faith to work for yourselves, little surprise you aren't in control of your own destiny.

Cue the fucking violins.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 00:19 | 2260799 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

The really sad thing is that I think you really believe that.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 00:43 | 2260849 Andy Lewis
Andy Lewis's picture

That's 'cuz every single word is true.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 00:34 | 2260831 o_rly
o_rly's picture

Throughout history, minorities have found ways to dominate the majority. Most of the time that has involved brute force, divide and conquer, bribery, etc. Slavery in the South, apartheid in South Africa and Alawites now in Syria are just two examples. Jews have gone a different route but I'm not going to get into all the specfiics.

That being said, there are plenty of Jews who have "earned" their way to the top for sure. There is no denying that Bernanke or Blankfein are an incredibly intelligent guys. I however disagree with your comment that education is the sole reason. Studies and some evidence suggest that Jews are on average more intelligent.

The problem with a Jewish grip on power is they have an intense hatred for goys, perhaps for good reason. But oftentimes it's simply a matter of snide condescension, and they view the vast majority of white America as grave enemies to their cultural values. Jews tend to promote immigration to dilute the white majority, foreign intervention on behalf of Israel, dissolution of cultural institutions to weaken whites, and a continuation of the lobbyist structure. Of course, the last issue has plenty of blame to go around. Just imagine a world without defense contractors shoving wads of cash into pol pockets.

There's a reason they dethroned WASPs from power. WASPs were simply too big a pushover with all their nonsense adherence to Protestant values like fairness and moral duty. They were also decadent and couldn't keep pace with the new money development and casino capitalism that Jews thrive on.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 13:20 | 2262366 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

do what?

WASPs were simply too big a pushover with all their nonsense adherence to Protestant values like fairness and moral duty.

uh right - tell that to the Native Americans, the imported peoples used as slave labour, etc. etc.

the Protestants who saw everyone else as savages - and re-moved them from the righteous landscape.


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 04:54 | 2261076 Element
Element's picture

Oh da poor joo ... no brawn ... only bwains ... bwwahaha!

If only they were just smart ... rather than conspiratorial smart scum that enlist their collective and respective skills and capacities to deliberately and decisively destroy the capacity and potential of all other humans, simply in order to en-slave and murder them en-mass and create Hell on Earth as they parasitise.

Death is too good.  I can at least respect an enemy that had 'issues' with me ... but not this literally God-forsaken vermin.

Fucking spineless stand-for-nothing pragmatist apologists ... you're no better than them, and deserve the same outcome ... but of course ... you are them.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 05:06 | 2261098 Dan The Man
Dan The Man's picture

Amerika is going nowhere until you guys get a handle on the jew anger.  Its self indulging and says way more about you than them.  When Amerika dies it will have been the fault of the lazy asses who would rather blame than work and prosper.  Pathetic.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 07:35 | 2261184 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Here's a tasty treat sonny, you've learned your lines so well.

Cleary enjoying his dry ass fucking.  The main enemy of the Republic is right here. And douche boy is probably scared of.... Iran.

Utter dimwit. The Jews favorite kind.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 05:40 | 2261100 4xaddict
4xaddict's picture

and how did slavery, apartheid and Alawites end up? Nothing was insurmountable for the masses when they got smart (educated themselves) and started looking out for each other (started attributing value to community). Problem is that involves some fucking work.

Just because a person is born a Jew doesn't make him/her some hardline "goy" hating religious zealot zionist. the majority of folks born Protestant, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish these days are that by birth only and certainly not practicing outside of family events as they don't buy in to that old draconian horse shit.

You lot will conjur up a conspiracy theory for anything to make yourselves feel better about the wholesale failure that your own time on the planet has become.

Element what you have written is just vile venom and shows the incredible heights of your own ignorance. In fact your ignorance is surpassed only by your own ignorance.

O_Rly if the people of the US spent less time with their faces in a box of cheerios, watching the Biggest Loser and more time getting a fucking education and adding some value to society there would be a lot more diversity in the halls of power as success would befall them as it does all those who aspire to great things and are actually willing to work for it.

And the term WASP, I mean are you fucking serious? Did you just arrive in a time machine from the dark ages?

"Studies and some evidence suggest that Jews are on average more intelligent" - well that has to be the most scientifically supported and solid statement I have ever read. Brings new meaning to the statistic that 90% of statistics quoted are just bullshit. With a higher % of the jewish population placing value on education of course they will achieve a higher overall rank when intelligence is scored against educational metrics.

The kind of hatred you guys espouse on here is not healthy and it is the type of carry on that many genocidal maniacs have used to justify the discrimination towards groups based on race, colour or creed. Just listen to yourselves. You look around you and see your world falling apart because you grew up not knowing how good you had things and were too fucking lazy to take advantage of what you were given. Maybe had your parents not had the same attitude as you but rather educated themselves you wouldn't find yourselves with this twisted ridiculous view of society. The world is an amazing place full, dripping with possibility so long as you are willing to do some work for it.

People seem to have forgotten that each individual owes it to him/herself and their common man to have an awareness of their surroundings and be accountable for his own actions. You lot have just got used to others being accountable for you for a small convenient fee. It's not WASPs, jews or any flavour of Americans responsible for the reduction in living standards, it is the whole population's voter apathy that has allowed a lobbyist stained political elite to fast track globalization and trade ahead of the best interests of individual societies.

My grandparents and great grand parents fought for and won the rights that all in the west enjoy today and paid in their own blood. They didn't do that so some lazy washed up asshole could get a free lunch for eternity. They did it so future generations could live the lives that they want to, and have the opportunity to make something for themselves.

The numbers of +s and -s in these comments highlights just how ignorant and uninformed the ZH readership must be if this is a true sample of the overall group.


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 08:31 | 2261186 Element
Element's picture

Blow it out of your arse zio-fan, none of your mealy-mouthed two-faced "we're all innocent, we're all good guys, no really", routines are going to work.

Thousands of years of hystery has demonstrated what the joo has done wherever and whenever they could organise to do it.

They have never relented.

And each time they were caught red-handed they just pretended to be innocent, and to be the better part of humanity no less, and to weally weally care!

A lot!

You'll fool no one.  Even a sewer would refuse to take you, to where you and they are going.

If that sentiment is a reflection on me, then I'm more than happy to say it again.

And just so you fully understand, apologists for them, oh great understanding, wise and empathic ones, you and they are one and the same.

I see no particular difference in the substance of what you are about.

And stop pretending you won me my 'rights'.

I owe you nothing, except, in the best case, a comprehensive whipping and summary deportation.

Go on, call me names, say I'm suggesting something improper.

I don't think it's gonna wash.




"Our race is the Master Race. We are divine gods on this planet. We are as different from the inferior races as they are from insects. In fact, compared to our race, other races are beasts and animals, cattle at best. Other races are considered as human excrement. Our destiny is to rule over the inferior races. Our earthly kingdom will be ruled by our leader with a rod of iron. The masses will lick our feet and serve us as our slaves."


Menachem Begin - Israeli Prime Minister 1977–1983


Nah, he ain't some psychopathic hate-filled racist meglomatic looney, who would put Hitler to shame, he's probably just misquoted here, and meant to say something else, requiring 6-years and 2 separate degrees of study to really understand and tease-out what was really being said ... huh? ... elightened empathic-cunts? ... are you still there?? ... that's the world outside of your pseudo-'understanding' fantasies and serial 'intellectual' in-breeding.



Israeli is a racist state, the most intollerant and intollerable state in all of hystery.  Fukin nuke it, it's the only way to be sure.



They should be shot on sight -- I'd do it in a second.  The only bonus they would get out of me would be the right and the time to dig their own hole.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 09:48 | 2261496 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

Element, have you been diagnosed yet?


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 08:49 | 2261304 Umh
Umh's picture


Nothing was insurmountable for the masses when they got smart ... work.  <-- The masses never get smart.

Just because a person is born a Jew doesn't make ... old draconian horse shit.  <-- This makes me think of people who don't know anyone who voted for (Your daemon here). There really are many people who take their beliefs very seriously.

And; yes there are a lot of uninformed and ignorant people everywhere. On the other hand some people are just informed and jerks:)



Fri, 03/16/2012 - 09:44 | 2261481 o_rly
o_rly's picture

Dude, your are delusional and naieve. Plus, I don't give two shits about your grandparents.


Fri, 03/16/2012 - 13:41 | 2262481 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

there are a number of examples in your posts that underline your accepted notion that you are superior to most of humanity, and most likely because you've been educated to believe this, but this:

My grandparents and great grand parents fought for and won the rights that all in the west enjoy today and paid in their own blood. They didn't do that so some lazy washed up asshole could get a free lunch for eternity. They did it so future generations could live the lives that they want to, and have the opportunity to make something for themselves.

is where I'll reply. . .

exactly when and where were your predecessors fighting, and for whose rights?  when they "won" those "rights" who lost their rights? whose blood was spilt so that you got "rights over" who else? whose "future generations" didn't get to live the lives that they wanted to, who lost that opportunity, because they were on the wrong side of the ledger?

your posts certainly hint at an inherited notion of your specialness, most likely you were educated to believe this - doesn't make it true though.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:32 | 2260081 true brain
true brain's picture

Capfion: Bloomberg : Where did Maddof go wrong?
Blankfein: He didn't stick to the protocol.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:34 | 2259625 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Yah I get a burning sensation too.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:36 | 2259636 GenX Investor
GenX Investor's picture

Here little sheeple, come here cute little sheeple, you are the best little sheeple, yes you are...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:53 | 2260148 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

So out of date. The PC name is now 'muppets'. Didn't you get the memo?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:02 | 2260372 Element
Element's picture

"sheelpe muppets, goyim ... what's in a name?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:36 | 2259634 nmewn
nmewn's picture

(Bloomberg) Are you trying to screw up my tax base?

(Squid) First answer me, can I count on you post riot police around our offices to protect me?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:35 | 2259624 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

"just act contrite and fuck 'em all."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:42 | 2259665 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Bloomberg : This is my O face .

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:47 | 2259687 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture



I haven't seen Corzine. Have you seen Corzine?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:22 | 2259816 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture



"We need to work harder, Bloomy, to win their hearts and minds, one Muppet at a time."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:30 | 2259856 trebuchet
trebuchet's picture

"You gonna take care of that smith guy or am i gonna take care of it?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:28 | 2260265 PianoRacer
PianoRacer's picture

Kang: Fooling these Earth voters is easier than expected. Kodos: Yes. All they want to hear are bland pleasantries embellished by an occasional saxophone solo or infant kiss.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 13:32 | 2262450 RollinsArline3
RollinsArline3's picture

my roomate's mom makes $83/hr on the computer. She has been fired from work for 9 months but last month her pay check was $18339 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web site .....

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:35 | 2259630 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

Once again I quote Voltaire "These marranos go wherever there is money to be made... They are, simply, the biggest scoundrels who have ever dirtied the face of the earth."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:42 | 2259663 true brain
true brain's picture

Voltaire got gut talking about the Chosen People that way.

Well, perhaps because he's already dead.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259671 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

The terms “Marrano” and “converso” were applied in Spain and Portugal to the descendants of baptized Jews suspected of secret adherence to Judaism.

Just in case somebody don't have a google handy.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:18 | 2260238 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

Please replace G**gle with 'search engine'. If we ignore them, maybe they'll go away.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 01:14 | 2260903 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Thanks for the tip, bad habit. I actually used startpage. I won't do it again [use the bad word] unless under the influence.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 07:38 | 2261189 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

I believe the correct name is Joogle, no?

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 08:25 | 2261260 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

Going with Gargle.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 13:46 | 2262529 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

don't forget to spit.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:16 | 2259804 solgundy
solgundy's picture
Comment for Public Information Collection 77 FR 8817
  • View all comments for 77 FR 8817
  • From: Z A N
    JPMorgan Chase

    Comment No: 57019
    Date: 3/14/2012

    Comment Text:

    Dear CFTC Staff,

    Hello, I am a current JPMorgan Chase employee. This is an open letter to all commissioners and regulators. I am emailing you today b/c I know of insider information that will be damning at best for JPMorgan Chase. I have decided to play the role of whistleblower b/c I no longer have faith and belief that what we are doing for society is bringing value to people. I am now under the opinion that we are actually putting hard working Americans unaware of what lays ahead at extreme market risk. This risk is unnecessary and will lead to wide-scale market collapse if not handled properly. With the release of Mr. Smith’s open letter to Goldman, I too would like to set the record straight for JPM as well. I have seen the disruptive behavior of superiors and no longer can say that I look up to employees at the ED/MD level here at JPM. Their smug exuberance and arrogance permeates the air just as pungently as rotting vegetables. They all know too well of the backdoor crony connections they share intimately with elected officials and with other institutions. It is apparent in everything they do, from the meager attempts to manipulate LIBOR, therefore controlling how almost all derivatives are priced to the inherit and fraudulent commodities manipulation. They too may have one day stood for something in the past in the client-employee relationship. Does anyone in today’s market really care about the protection of their client? From the ruthless and scandalous treatment of MF Global client asset funds to the excessive bonuses paid by companies with burgeoning liabilities. Yes, we at JPMorgan that are in the know are fearful of a cascading credit event being triggered in Greece as they have hidden derivatives in excess of $1 Trillion USD. We at JPMorgan own enough of these through counterparty risk and outright prop trading that our entire IB EDG space could be annihilated within a few short days. The last ten years has been market by inflexion point after inflexion point with the most notable coming in 2008 after the acquisition of Bear.

    I wish to remain anonymous as of now as fear of termination mounts from what I am about to reveal. Robert Gottlieb is not my real name; however he is a trader that is involved in a lawsuit for manipulative trading while working with JPMorgan Chase. He was acquired during our Bear Stearns acquisition and is known to be the notorious person shorting in the silver future market from his trading space, along with Blythe Masters, his IB Global boss. However, with that said, we are manipulating the silver futures market and playing a smaller (but still massively manipulative) role in manipulating the gold futures market. We have a little over a 25% (give or take a percentage) position in the short market for silver futures and by your definition this denotes a larger position than for speculative purposes or for hedging and is beyond the line of manipulation.

    On a side note, I do not work directly with accounts that would have been directly impacted by the MF Global fiasco but I have heard through other colleagues that we have involvement in the hiding of client assets from MF Global. This is another fraudulent effort on our part and constitutes theft. I urge you to forward that part of the investigation on to the respective authorities.

    There is something else that you may find strange. During month-end December, we were all told by our managers that this was going to be a dismal year in terms of earnings and that we should not expect any bonuses or pay raises. Then come mid-late January it is made known that everyone received a pay raise and/or bonus, which is interesting b/c just a few weeks ago we were told that this was not likely and expected to be paid nothing in addition to base salary. January is right around the time we started increasing our short positions quite significantly again and this most recent crash in gold and silver during Bernanke's speech on February 29th is of notable importance, as we along with 4 other major institutions, orchestrated the violent $100 drop in Gold and subsequent drops in silver.

    As regulators of the free people of this country, I ask you to uphold the most important job in the world right now. That job is judge and overseer of all that is justice in the most sensitive of commodity markets. There are many middle-income people that invest in the physical assets of silver, gold, as well as mining stocks that are being financially impacted in a negative way b/c of our unscrupulous shorts in the precious metals commodity sector. If you read the COT with intent you will find that commercials (even though we have no business being in the commercial sector, which should be reserved for companies that truly produce the metal) are net short by a long shot in not only silver, but gold.

    It is rather surprising that what should be well known liabilities on our balance sheet have not erupted into wider scale scrutinization. I call all honest and courageous JPMorgan employees to step up and fight the cronyism and wide-scale manipulation by reporting the truth. We are only helping reality come to light therefore allowing a real valuation of our banking industry which will give investors a chance to properly adjust without being totally wiped out. I will be contacting a lawyer shortly about this matter, as I believe no other whistleblower at JPMorgan has come forward yet. Our deepest secrets lie within the hands of honest employees and can be revealed through honest regulators that are willing to take a look inside one of America's best kept secrets. Please do not allow this to turn into another Enron.

    Kind Regards,
    -The 1st Whistleblower of Many

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:45 | 2259913 Spooky Polish
Spooky Polish's picture

"... Screw them first, then we maka love , You dirty litlle banker .."
"... Well, all right my sweet pennysucker..." 

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 08:03 | 2261217 jdelano
jdelano's picture

Blankf:  What'cha got there Mike?"

Bloom:  I built a new light saber.  It's invisibile.  Designed for instant-cauterizing stealth anal penetrations.  They'll never see it coming.

Blankf:  Neato.  You give it a name yet?

Bloom:  Yeah.  I call it The Inflationator.  Catchy, right?


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:19 | 2259557 pstpetrov
pstpetrov's picture

damage control

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:21 | 2259558 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Lovers quarrel?  They both have a hardon?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:21 | 2259566 AbruptlyKawaii
AbruptlyKawaii's picture

kill me.....kill me.....before the alien comes out of my chest.....kill meeee..

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:30 | 2259567 FranSix
Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:22 | 2259570 Silver Pullet
Silver Pullet's picture

"I have Elmo in my pants."

"I've got Crazy Harry. He's great!"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:23 | 2259576 piceridu
piceridu's picture

...In the slab under the Twin Towers or Meadowlands again?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:23 | 2259578 Campagnolo
Campagnolo's picture

The Capos right there in the picture

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:35 | 2259629 ajax
ajax's picture

Meet the fucking Kray twins: New York style

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:29 | 2259579 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Dipshit Bloomberg stock seems vulnerable at this point, poised to plummet.  Associating with Goldfuck Sacklickers only proves it.

Fuck both liars, they can eat their own crony shit!

Who's next?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:24 | 2259582 Dr. Kananga
Dr. Kananga's picture

"It's nothing--just sprained my finger playing with a muppet."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:24 | 2259583 PolishHammer
PolishHammer's picture

I got your back, all else fails we run to TelAviv

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:25 | 2259584 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

"You see the tits on that Pelosi chick?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:01 | 2260172 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

That's what happens after that many facelifts if you don't wear a turtleneck.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:25 | 2259585 IronHedge
IronHedge's picture

what a f'in circus... is mikey making a bid the white house?!!! w/out gsco bloomberg would lose 1/3 of its revs.... absolute joke!!!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:45 | 2259678 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

He'd be the second jew to be President. Third sodomite.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 21:07 | 2260199 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Careful, you'll give sodomizers a bad name. Oh, wait, you said sodomite...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:25 | 2259587 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

The tribe always sticks together.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:26 | 2259590 HD
HD's picture

Grab your dick and look deep into my eyes...when Ben gets here, we'll get started.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:26 | 2259591 Gubbmint Cheese
Gubbmint Cheese's picture

My milkshake brings all the boys from the yard.. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge..

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:26 | 2259592 happel
happel's picture

Blank - "Who is Greg Smith?"

Bloom - "Beats me. I am too busy watching the Bloomberg daily billionaire index."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:27 | 2259598 Don Smith
Don Smith's picture

"They call you Sam Eagle..."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:28 | 2259599 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

"My freakin' fly is stuck."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:27 | 2259600 847328_3527
847328_3527's picture

"Will Kermit really sue for Trademark Infringement using his 'Muppet' brand in the op ed?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:28 | 2259602 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

I see your trying to hide your hardon too!!!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:29 | 2259607 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

"Nope. Still can't see your soul"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:29 | 2259608 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

My offering for the caption contest:

I'll suck yours, if you'll suck mine.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:32 | 2259609 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture

Beaker, Beaker ... did you leave the doors open at Muppet Labs

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:23 | 2260445 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Judging by the up and down arrows …. You guys are sic [sic]. Gee - there must be at least one Dad out there for a thumbs up for the Muppets Lab – sheeeesssssh.




Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:30 | 2259612 dcsos
dcsos's picture

"I can't believe you couldn't fix Greg Smith's parking tickets-look what he did to us now!"-Lloyd

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:31 | 2259614 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

"Cover your balls -- people are starting to take note of what's going on!"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:34 | 2259623 chump666
chump666's picture

"I got some amyl a-hole is going to open up large and suck in every sucker seen the market?"


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:34 | 2259627 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Dang, one bullet gets two of them!!!  It's discount days in NYC!!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:36 | 2259632 non_anon
non_anon's picture

"Not to worry, the muppets are stupid"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:36 | 2259633 quidam
quidam's picture

Take two...

"But in the end, this is about people."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:37 | 2259637 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

"We're fucked unless our stories match."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:37 | 2259638 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Bloomberg: "Nice Head"

Lloyd: "That's what everyone says"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:37 | 2259639 spinone
spinone's picture

You want to put your pee pee where?

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:38 | 2259640 LongOfTooth
LongOfTooth's picture

I though you had the phone number of the Mossad office in NY!


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:39 | 2259644 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

"I'm dickless. You?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:39 | 2259646 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

"Maybe if we stare into each others eyes and grab our crotches this whole mess will just.....  go away!"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:39 | 2259649 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

I could rat you out too Mr. Mayor.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:40 | 2259653 CharlesH
CharlesH's picture

<a href="">The Passenger</a>



Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:40 | 2259654 Hansel
Hansel's picture

"I have to pee."  "Me too."

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:41 | 2259655 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Lloyd: "Did you fart?"

Bloomberg: "no, my dick still has your shit on it"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:44 | 2259674 chump666
chump666's picture


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:47 | 2259688 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

thanks dude, I worked hard on that one

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:14 | 2259795 chump666
chump666's picture

you doing good.  mine kinda suck.  Gotta top this...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:18 | 2259811 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

yeah, for this topic you have to think hard about, well..........shit.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:20 | 2259815 chump666
chump666's picture

haha, yeah, I'm still in market anaylsis mode.  Let it roll...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:41 | 2259659 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

"I'm protecting my pecker" says floater.  "You know it" quips roid.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259660 tahoebumsmith
tahoebumsmith's picture

I'll give you the real scoop at the synagogue later, but don't say I didn't warn you that those Smith's can't be trusted...

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259667 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

'Youse tolded me you'd have dat Smith jagoff sleepin' wit da fishes. Waddafuck went wrong?"

"Waddyamean? I got it so's he's screwin' my ex-wife. Dat bitch is one cold fish!"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:53 | 2259668 Reese Bobby
Reese Bobby's picture


Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:43 | 2259669 strangeglove
strangeglove's picture

Mayor Bloomberg meets with USGovt after smith oped

There fixed it fer ya

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:45 | 2259679 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Lloyd: "I hope I didn't give you herpes Mikey"

Bloomie: "that's nothing compared to what I just gave you"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:45 | 2259681 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

"Wanna make $20 the hard way?"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:47 | 2259685 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I don't know how anyone could not wax nostalgic for OWS looking at these two Scumbags. I'll be right back.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:59 | 2259724 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ummm... you mean the Bloomberg sponsored OWS "movement?"

Sorry WB, but regardless of the legitimacy of the occupiers, they are knee-deep in yet another astro-turf movement being driven by the elite (they've just hidden it better so far).

It's nothing more than the next chapter of directed history. In this case, reviving the theme of "most important election, ever!"

Also, it provides an opportunity for agent provocateurs to discredit the legitimate activists (like how Palin took over the Tea Party bus and drove it off a cliff).

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:01 | 2259740 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Please excuse WB, he has a judgement problem. He often falls for the slogans, ask him about his voting record.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 22:42 | 2260521 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

"you mean the Bloomberg sponsored OWS "movement?""

that's why he had their heads cracked and their shit thrown out? and that's why they are barely funded? and every single media outlet in nyc was lying about them?

you have evidence, present it.

"it provides an opportunity for agent provocateurs to discredit the legitimate activists"

post hoc ergo propter hoc, retard

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 02:15 | 2260975 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Initially funded by Soros/Adbusters. The "color revolution" thing. Then anarchists arrived, got a little outa control.

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 10:15 | 2261577 Baleful Runes 4 U
Baleful Runes 4 U's picture

"Initially funded by Soros/Adbusters. The "color revolution" thing. Then anarchists arrived, got a little outa control. "

yeah, thing is, that isn't true. Adbusters had an editorial saying people should go down to wall street. That's all. And there were earlier (unheeded) calls by others before that. They weren't "funding" people. People went of their own accord. I examined this first-hand. But believe what you want.

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 19:53 | 2259947 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

Hihi I can't wait to see what WB has got in store!! :)

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:48 | 2259690 Seasmoke
Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:49 | 2259694 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Lloyd: "My ass, my place, tonight"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:49 | 2259695 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

"on a long enough timeline, bloomy, the survival rate for everyjoo drops to zero".

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:50 | 2259697 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

I'm getting a clue!

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:23 | 2260047 jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

very funny..  thanks for the laugh..  

i wonder how many other people will get it

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:51 | 2259699 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Lloyd: "wow look, everyone really likes us"

Bloomie: "I know, it's because we're doing God's work"

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 20:03 | 2259700 AccreditedEYE
AccreditedEYE's picture

Lloyd: "Why are you looking at me like that? Look, I told you before Mikey....just because we gave you campaign money doesn't mean we AREN'T going to give it to your competition too. We've GOT to own both sides of the aisle to make a living... I'm sure you understand."  

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 18:53 | 2259703 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

some jooz are more chosen than other jooz

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