In New Levels Of Bizarro-Land-Ism, IMF Denies Its Own Rumor On Bond Market Intervention

Tyler Durden's picture

The Associated Press is reporting on an very appropriate comment from Antonio Borges, head of the IMF's Europe program, that he is retracting his earlier comment that they will intervene in bond markets to support Italy and Spain. Sure enough, this will not come as a surprise to our readers, after we said first thing today that "we find that the person tasked with destroying his credibility, after the market no longer trusts anything Lagarde says, is IMF European Department Director Antonio Borges who according to Reuters, said that Europe needs between 100 billion and 200 billion euros to recapitalize its banks to win back investor confidence and should carry out the plan across the continent, not in a staggered process." Consider credibility destroyed.

In a dramatic turnaround, a senior official for the International Monetary Fund on Wednesday retracted an earlier comment that the IMF could intervene in bond markets to support struggling Italy and Spain.


"The fund can only lend its resources to countries, and cannot use these resources to intervene in bond markets directly," Antonio Borges, the head of the IMF's Europe program, said in a statement.


"Any alternative lending modalities to what we do now would require a different legal structure" for the IMF, the statement continued, adding that such changes had not been discussed with the fund's members.


Earlier Wednesday, Borges had said at a news conference in Brussels that the IMF could possibly invest alongside the eurozone's bailout fund to help Italy and Spain.

Oh to have been a fly on the phone call from Christine Lagarde to Borges in which she, in a calm, cool, and collected manner, with little to no use of obscenities, and references to the Spaniard's mother, grandmother, and barn animals, explained to him to, very credibly, say he was only kidding.

What next: Steve Liesman reports X only to turn around 30 minutes later and say he was true to his name and it was all the teleprompter's fault.

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mayhem_korner's picture



Whoops!  IMF showing its ace on the flop instead of the river...

Ahmeexnal's picture

Forget about shorting the markets. They will come out with contradictory rumours every 5 minutes.


SMG's picture

I think all these rumors are an attempt by the Oligarchy to delay the crash a little bit longer until they and all their lackey's are in the positions they want to be in.   I think what all these unsubstantiated rumors over the past few weeks mean, is that the crash is very close and the powers that be want to make sure they have thei i's dotted and t's crossed before they pull their finger out of the dike.

Ahmeexnal's picture

The only possible positon the oligarchs will find is on their knees, with their hands and head between wooden shackles, with a basket under their heads!

fuu's picture

The kaishakunin would then perform kaishaku, a cut in which the warrior was decapitated. The maneuver should be done in the manners of dakikubi (lit. "embraced head"), in which way a slight band of flesh is left attaching the head to the body, so that it be hung in front as if embraced.

Timmay's picture

There are many stories on record of extraordinary heroism being displayed in the harakiri. The case of a young fellow, only twenty years old, of the Choshiu clan, which was told me the other day by an eye-witness, deserves mention as a marvellous instance of determination. Not content with giving himself the one necessary cut, he slashed himself thrice horizontally and twice vertically. Then he stabbed himself in the throat until the dirk protruded on the other side, with its sharp edge to the front; setting his teeth in one supreme effort, he drove the knife forward with both hands through his throat, and fell dead.


Come on Bernanke, don't be a wuss.....

Timmay's picture

In his book Tales of Old Japan, Mitford describes witnessing a hara-kiri:[5]

"As a corollary to the above elaborate statement of the ceremonies proper to be observed at the harakiri, I may here describe an instance of such an execution which I was sent officially to witness. The condemned man was Taki Zenzaburo, an officer of the Prince of Bizen, who gave the order to fire upon the foreign settlement at Hy?go in the month of February 1868,—an attack to which I have alluded in the preamble to the story of the Eta Maiden and the Hatamoto. Up to that time no foreigner had witnessed such an execution, which was rather looked upon as a traveller's fable. The ceremony, which was ordered by the Mikado himself, took place at 10:30 at night in the temple of Seifukuji, the headquarters of the Satsuma troops at Hiogo. A witness was sent from each of the foreign legations. We were seven foreigners in all. After another profound obeisance, Taki Zenzaburo, in a voice which betrayed just so much emotion and hesitation as might be expected from a man who is making a painful confession, but with no sign of either in his face or manner, spoke as follows:

“ I, and I alone, unwarrantably gave the order to fire on the foreigners at Kobe, and again as they tried to escape. For this crime I disembowel myself, and I beg you who are present to do me the honour of witnessing the act. ”

Bowing once more, the speaker allowed his upper garments to slip down to his girdle, and remained naked to the waist. Carefully, according to custom, he tucked his sleeves under his knees to prevent himself from falling backwards; for a noble Japanese gentleman should die falling forwards. Deliberately, with a steady hand, he took the dirk that lay before him; he looked at it wistfully, almost affectionately; for a moment he seemed to collect his thoughts for the last time, and then stabbing himself deeply below the waist on the left-hand side, he drew the dirk slowly across to the right side, and, turning it in the wound, gave a slight cut upwards. During this sickeningly painful operation he never moved a muscle of his face. When he drew out the dirk, he leaned forward and stretched out his neck; an expression of pain for the first time crossed his face, but he uttered no sound. At that moment the kaishaku, who, still crouching by his side, had been keenly watching his every movement, sprang to his feet, poised his sword for a second in the air; there was a flash, a heavy, ugly thud, a crashing fall; with one blow the head had been severed from the body. A dead silence followed, broken only by the hideous noise of the blood throbbing out of the inert heap before us, which but a moment before had been a brave and chivalrous man. It was horrible. The kaishaku made a low bow, wiped his sword with a piece of rice paper which he had ready for the purpose, and retired from the raised floor; and the stained dirk was solemnly borne away, a bloody proof of the execution. The two representatives of the Mikado then left their places, and, crossing over to where the foreign witnesses sat, called us to witness that the sentence of death upon Taki Zenzaburo had been faithfully carried out. The ceremony being at an end, we left the temple.

The ceremony, to which the place and the hour gave an additional solemnity, was characterized throughout by that extreme dignity and punctiliousness which are the distinctive marks of the proceedings of Japanese gentlemen of rank; and it is important to note this fact, because it carries with it the conviction that the dead man was indeed the officer who had committed the crime, and no substitute. While profoundly impressed by the terrible scene it was impossible at the same time not to be filled with admiration of the firm and manly bearing of the sufferer, and of the nerve with which the kaishaku performed his last duty to his master.

JW n FL's picture



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Sambo's picture

The CNBC observers are going to get freaked out reading this.....

Libertarians for Prosperity's picture



I truly don't understand all this extreme and gruesome hostility. It's not just the "oligarchs" you hate the poor, too.  Hell, you guys even hate the middle class like teachers, police officers and fire fighters if they're in a union. Your hatred cuts through everyone:  from the oligarchs, to bankers, to the politicians straight through the middle class, down to the poor and down-trodden. You guys just hate everyone who exists outside your small sphere of extreme, goofy libertardian ideologies.  

Class warfare seems to be a popular topic these days, and you idiots are as guilty as anyone.  It's so hypocritical of you guys to accuse Obama of class warfare, when the comments section here at Zerohedge is littered with exactly that: class warfare against everyone!  The poor, the rich, the Republicans, the Democrats, teachers, blue collar workers.... everyone... you guys are at war with everyone.


Libertarians 2012:  Get Rid of the AirTraffic Controllers!    

Jedi Longsabre's picture

Don't get rid of air traffic contollers. That might cause slight increase in accidents. Just privatize them like in those libertarian bastions Canada, Great Britian and New Zealand. Oh, yeah it can't be done because it is a union job, what was I thinking

Eagle1's picture

I agree, you are exactly correct. This whole thing is a staged event.

PaperWillBurn's picture

I think the endgame is well underway, and the outcome is not saving the public, but managing the transition to a new system, while hopefully keeping the same ruling class. That will not be disclosed while 'the players' jockey for advantage and position, 'turf' and the privilege of rents, if you will, well ahead of the crowd.

The European Central Bank and the Federal Reserve will bail out the banks again, and seek an 'orderly resolution' to the Greek situation. This will involve either an overt or de facto devaluation of the Euro and the Dollar. Make no mistake, the Dollar will not be allowed to appreciate dramatically for the same reasons that all the other currencies wish to avoid such an outcome.

The Dollar and the Euro are the relativistic value expressions of the financial system. They have no substance otherwise, no permanence except for the will of keepers of the system. The DXY is only an expression of the Euro and Yen and a few other fiat currencies. They are created at will.

And so in advance of the coming devaluation, gold is hit hard in order to maintain the confidence in the fiat system, with the clumsy propaganda pieces in the compliant mainstream media, and so that when bullion rises in reaction to the currency devaluations it will be easier to control, as Paul Volcker had suggested.

"That day the U.S. announced that the dollar would be devalued by 10 percent. By switching the yen to a floating exchange rate, the Japanese currency appreciated, and a sufficient realignment in exchange rates was realized. Joint intervention in gold sales to prevent a steep rise in the price of gold, however, was not undertaken. That was a mistake."

Paul Volcker, Nikkei Weekly 2004

ElvisDog's picture

Make no mistake, the Dollar will not be allowed to appreciate dramatically for the same reasons that all the other currencies wish to avoid such an outcome

What? To protect the vibrant U.S. export economy? I find it amusing that after all that has happened over the past three years there are still some people who cling to the "Central bankers are omniscent" meme.

Troll Magnet's picture

be careful thinking the end is near.  i've learned awhile ago not to fight the fed as they can fuck with you at anytime of their choosing.  they will drag this shit out for as long as they can because they know that IF/ONCE things implode beyond control, people will be coming for them.  

ElvisDog's picture

I do agree that the doom-and-gloomers usually get the timing wrong. They underestimate the ability of the status quo to keep the game going with a stick save. However, I disagree that the Fed is in control of everything and things are going according to some master plan.

ghostfaceinvestah's picture

Agreed, this is also why they crashed gold prices, so they can pick up more physical before it all comes crashing down.

ZeroPower's picture

Crashed? You bugs seriously need to re-visit what crashes look like.

junkyardjack's picture

The only safety will be treasuries

SheepDog-One's picture

Near 50% drop in silver is a pretty good crash.

Ruffcut's picture

Deny your denial, bitchezz.

redpill's picture

We've always been at war with Eastasia.

mayhem_korner's picture

Don't be so hard on yerself, GMB.  :D

Popo's picture

I believe the term is "crying wolf"

... and the thing about crying wolf is that is stops working eventually....

... and then the wolf eats your face off.

wombats's picture


Who pays attention to the IMF baffoons?

baby_BLYTHE's picture

Christine Lagarde is just a puppet and was handpicked by the Rothschild family to facilitate world economic plunder and wealth transfer.

G. Edward Griffin covers IMF fascism in great detail in The Creature from Jekyll Island. I Highly recommend every ZHer read his masterpiece.

hussaifa's picture

Read it - I Second, Third & Fourth this comment.

ChemicalAli's picture

You're quite right, but you fail to mention that G. Edward Griffin plagiarized Eustace Mullins. 


Eustace Mullins had al the answers WAY before the fraud G. Edward Griffin.

nyse's picture

Anyone interested in taking a swing at a pinata, here you go - BlackStone Outlook: Europe/US:

Comments reatled to slide 5 would be of particular interest to me.

Dare you try and refute the bull case? Well, I dare you.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

I put about as much stock in what Blackstone analysts say, as I do Morgan Stanley analysts.

sabra1's picture

funny how this report came out after european markets close!

NotApplicable's picture

It's almost as if they had a clock...

firstdivision's picture

This isn't surprising in that, spilling the beans on secret operations is usually frowned upon.

SheepDog-One's picture

Layer upon layer of rumors and denials that rumors were rumors in the first place...the only thing that fuels the world markets today. Pretty scary.

Quinvarius's picture

All they know is suddenly a big checkbook opened somewhere.  Someone blinked.

Carl LaFong's picture

Is there really any difference whether they intervene directly in the EU bond market or loan the funds to governments or central banks to do the same?

SheepDog-One's picture

We dont have any clear idea how, but everyone is going to pay everyone else although everyone is broke but all is well anyway for today....que FT rumormill to provide next mad market momo spike.

NotApplicable's picture

Every instrument has its own counter-party, so I'm sure there is lots of jostling for the best (read: safest) seat in the house.

carbonmutant's picture

Eurozone crisis is Mad Hatter’s tea party...

Money 4 Nothing's picture

Please tell me that was the last shit taco for the day?