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Next Rumor: G-Pap To Hold Call With Merkozy

Tyler Durden's picture


Just when we thought Europe was fresh out of rumor ideas, they prove us wrong once again. From Reuters: "Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou will hold a conference call on Wednesday with French President Nicolas Sarkozy and German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Greek state television NET said on Tuesday. NET did not cite any sources and there was no immediate, official confirmation of the call." Judging by the market reaction, which is a big fat yawn, Europe will have to come up with something much better than this.  And we are sure they will oblige: look for the rumor mill to work overtime spewing furious gibberish all day, until something finally sticks to the wall. The end goal is insight: must prevent the unwind of the Eurozone for just 3 more hours when the market closes. And in the meantime, making sure she shoots herself in the foot once again, Merkel said she’s "very optimistic" that Finland’s demands for special collateral as part of the Greek bailout package "will be met within the parameters of measures agreed by euro-area leaders." Funny, because this is 100% backtracking on the official German position as of a few short days ago which was that no collateral would be granted to anyone. Sigh.


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Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:31 | 1663091 trav7777
trav7777's picture

Implosion, bitchez

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:34 | 1663103 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

     ( Sigh )

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:38 | 1663116 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:01 | 1663174 Léonard
Léonard's picture

Implosion, bitchez

How can there be an implosion ? Greece is insignificant in the Eurozone. Let Greece default. It will be better for the Greeks and make the Euro stronger.

Amerikkka has a much worse problem with California and many others states.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:04 | 1663196 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The world focusing and hinging all on Greece is not even as relevant as Georgias retirement bond fund bankruptcy problems.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:27 | 1663261 Léonard
Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:47 | 1663308 snowball777
snowball777's picture

How can there be an implosion ? Ireland is insignificant in the Eurozone. Let Ireland default. It will be better for the Irish and make the Euro stronger.

How can there be an implosion ? Portugal is insignificant in the Eurozone. Let Portugal default. It will be better for the Portuguese and make the Euro stronger.

How can there be an implosion ? Spain is insignificant in the Eurozone. Let Spain default. It will be better for the Spaniards and make the Euro stronger.

How can there be an implosion ? Italy is insignificant in the Eurozone. Let Italy default. It will be better for the Italians and make the Euro stronger.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:23 | 1663245 Two Towers AU AG
Two Towers AU AG's picture

Next Rumor - Merkozy denies buying Guns, Gold, Beer (for Octoberfest), Playboy magazines, and tasty IPads (1000 pieces)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:31 | 1663094 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

G-Pap : Wasssaaaap!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:32 | 1663096 malikai
malikai's picture

Hi, can I borrow 30 billion? No? Ok, I quit.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:33 | 1663098 FunkyMonkeyBoy
FunkyMonkeyBoy's picture

Someone just release the nukes already, we all know how this pitiful story ends.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:33 | 1663100 Racer
Racer's picture

They are telling so many lies now they can't remember them all!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:34 | 1663102 sushi
sushi's picture

Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou will hold a conference call on Wednesday with French President Nicolas Sarkozy and German Chancellor Angela Merkel



Get Obummer on that conference call and watch the markets levitate!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:07 | 1663204 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Hey, it's not the call that's important.  It's the announcement after the call.

"The three leaders had a very useful and substantive talk and after hard work have agreed that their efforts to stabilize the situation are important."



Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:24 | 1663757 falak pema
falak pema's picture

So Amazing would say. Its all about the next Bunga Bunga party. G20 days are here again. As long as the ECB prints who cares what the markets say. Roller coasters are there to be enjoyed...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:34 | 1663104 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

 But what does FT say?

"we did not print an article depicting Papandreou rimming Sarkozy"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:35 | 1663106 HelluvaEngineer
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Yay.  Everything will be better on Wednesday.  Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll call you tomorrow, it's only a day away...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:38 | 1663115 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

its like the Coyote in RoadRunner, running in air as he runs off the cliff, and just before he looks down.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1663361 Rodent Freikorps
Rodent Freikorps's picture

Who is playing the Roadrunner?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:36 | 1663108 oogs66
oogs66's picture

italian government orders 1000 copies of rosetta stone chinese - stocks soar!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:36 | 1663109 Zenster
Zenster's picture

Hopium balloons barely keeping markets up these days.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:37 | 1663112 Lord Welligton
Lord Welligton's picture

Wednesday .............

Capitulation Bitchez

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:39 | 1663118 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Wow, a phone call may be made? Why the hell arent futures ramped a few percent?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:43 | 1663136 Cdad
Cdad's picture

ES about to print a morning double top.  They may rise a bit more, as individual equities are printing their high right now.

Puke bucket ETFs up...prepare to vomit individual know...unless a future second phone call is promised.

Credibility dying in the street now...calling for a priest to make last confession.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:01 | 1663186 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Next market tank will be blamed on some finance ministers tea spilling on their IPhone.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:11 | 1663213 Cdad
Cdad's picture't a phone call from Germany to Greece, interrupted by coffee spilling on an iPhone...woudn't that be bullish?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:18 | 1663229 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Wet phone market tank. Oh the humanity!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:39 | 1663119 youngman
youngman's picture

I hope they are calling each other and talking...but probably they are lying in the corner in a cartonic state...with their thumb in their mouth..its fun to watch the rats in the box running around scared to death....they are in panic beware what they say..they are just trying to save themselves watch out what they say...and what they do.....they will sell you the junk and default on it next week...I hope the soon to be defaulting banks are the ones buying these issues...I really hope so...but I also do not think so...its the elites vs the people...they will dump this crap on the people...not themselves...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:41 | 1663125 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Whole damn planet is a cartoonic state.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:41 | 1663126 oogs66
oogs66's picture

smsing is so much more european anyways

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:39 | 1663121 Mitzibitzi
Mitzibitzi's picture

What's with the collateral thing? Did the Finns point to a map of Greece and say, "But we only want that bit! The fishing is great there. You and France are welcome to the rest".

"Ach, why didn't you say so in ze first place"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:40 | 1663123 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture



Hilarious how the futures scream higher or get flash crashed based on the sensational news headlines emerging from Zero Hedge on the hour.

No doubt, the "" of the financial markets.

Tyler now has more power to move markets with "words" than Ben Bernanke himself.

Hats off and cheers for Tyler and the rest of the ZH crew!!!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:42 | 1663129 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

Where is SheepDog when you need him? Fuck off troll

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:44 | 1663140 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

I suspect you're the only one around here who knows a damn thing about

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:46 | 1663141 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Whatever, simpleton. Hows your 'I'm getting all in long here at DOW 12,800 and you dumb bears better too for this huge debt ceiling rally' trade workin out?  

Never go full-retard Robo, and you swim in those waters daily.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:47 | 1663149 malikai
malikai's picture

C'mon SheepDog. He was either serious about that trade and is now living under a bridge, or he was just luring suckers in so his boys at the Morgue could make their bonuses this month. I just hope he got something out of the deal other than a sore asshole.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:52 | 1663159 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Anal warts...fractal!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:44 | 1663142 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

so now that you're on this whole ZH = TMZ bullshit rant...does that make you the Gary Busey of the financial blogesphere?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:47 | 1663147 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

He actually makes about as much sense as Busey on a rant

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:42 | 1663130 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

they didn't even wait for European trading to close to start floating the bullshit.

that's just about all the /ES needed to go positive (damn close so far) the dollar tanks.

what a completely fucked up market when this kind of bullshit can move it so much.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:42 | 1663131 Tense INDIAN
Tense INDIAN's picture

i dont get one thing: if this is really a deliberate takedown of the American and World economies , what are the elites waiting for ..or why are they trying desperately to hold it up

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:48 | 1663151 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

they've heard rumor that there are possibly as many as 7 people, presumably in the midwest, that are not yet bankrupt or drowning in debt. Once they can be lured into the market and broken...then we'll see it all end.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:57 | 1663173 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Must....stage get last 7....people in go long...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:48 | 1663152 DefiantSurf
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there is still wealth out there that they don't yet have...I expect the plan was to drag this out as long as possible but now its flailing out of control

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:53 | 1663162 Chaffinch
Chaffinch's picture

Beats me why they are holding it up. Maybe so that when they finally let go it makes a bigger 'SPLAT' when it hits the floor.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:09 | 1663207 Arrowhead
Arrowhead's picture

We are holding it up only until our suites at Wisconsin Dells are finished then we're outta here, piss on the rest of ya.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:26 | 1663255 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

Its all about the dates and numbers for them they have to wait untill thier God returns , he is on his way and will be here before November 11 , he first came visable on 9/11/11, when he gets closer they will unleash hell on earth for him , we do not have long to wait.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:35 | 1663286 MS7
MS7's picture

I thought they were trying to bailout their banks rather than Greece. Otherwise, it makes no sense why Greece did not default. It's like telling a company-- Don't declare bankruptcy yet. We'll make your payments to creditors and give you more debt on condition that you follow our instructions for getting into even worse shape economically.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:05 | 1663367 HoardeBilly
HoardeBilly's picture

The lemon squeezings are still dripping.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:43 | 1663133 The Axe
The Axe's picture

i agree with Robot head....amazing

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:44 | 1663139 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I wonder what that weasel jeethner is up to over there.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:48 | 1663150 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Well I suggest all the elites jump on a shuttle and go to one of those new earths, theyve fuked this one up.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:54 | 1663158 Bicycle Repairman
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Great.  All we'll have to do is engage in a fight to the death with the aliens on these planets.  I'll start a bogus rumor:

THERE IS OIL ON HD 85512 b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or maybe this


Xenite, bitchez.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:59 | 1663177 Praetor
Praetor's picture

Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure (just make sure the banksters are down there as well).

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:59 | 1663181 snowball777
snowball777's picture

G-Pap, SARS-Cozy, and m.Erkel are set to have a call with Bank of SuperEarth (BS) at 234:11223 inter-galactic standard time.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:46 | 1663146 skistroni
skistroni's picture

They will probably ask him to shave the moustache and get a hair transplant, so he looks more like Bunga Bunga man, who, against all odds, is still selling his debt to the markets. 

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:01 | 1663185 drider
drider's picture

Sorry lad, no party in Kastri villa today - or tommowor or ever! He will never get his mother's permission.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:47 | 1663148 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

One gigantic, titanic, colossal clusterfuck, everyone frozen with fear - make the wrong move and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:49 | 1663155 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

I have no fear, there is but one move...physical

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:51 | 1663156 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

All macro news of 'we're screwed' gets round filed, while any bit of rumor drives 2% market gyrations. Totaly broken markets.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:50 | 1663154 snowball777
snowball777's picture

Sometimes you just need to call the Sheriff and throw the bums out. Stormtroopers to Greece; Libya was a warm-up exercise.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:55 | 1663166 drider
drider's picture

There is no need for troops when you can get collateral... in feta and ouzo!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:01 | 1663182 snowball777
snowball777's picture

An island pledged with every bond purchase!

And you do need the troopers, if you don't want your collateral on fire.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:04 | 1663197 drider
drider's picture

That's a good one mate! Greece can issue bonds to infinity... too many Greek islands!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:53 | 1663163 drider
drider's picture

Suprise, suprise: no announcements will be made after the supposed call (according to the greek NET channel)

G-Pap is trying hard to convince everyone that he is negotiating...

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:56 | 1663167 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Gartman warns of gold price slump to raise cash if stocks slump'

Stupid financial media headline of the morning..., so theyre saying the big stock funds ALSO own a whole bunch of gold and will sell that gold if their stocks tank? Yea right. I dont believe that load of BS for 1 minute, they dont own gold. Maybe PAPER gold, but thats not even the same subject. 

Bonehead financial media.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 08:59 | 1663179 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Gartman is out...and wants back in.  End transmission.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:02 | 1663188 M.B. Drapier
M.B. Drapier's picture

And we are sure they will oblige: look for the rumor mill to work overtime spewing furious gibberish all day, until something finally sticks to the wall.

We need a Perl script to automate this process. Or maybe a Prolog program to methodically explore the state-space of all possible Euro-saved rumours. Pipe the output straight into the HFT headline-parser bots and we're done here.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:05 | 1663199 malikai
malikai's picture

Perl is my favorite language. I'd love to slap something together to do it, but I'm afraid I haven't got the motivation to do so. Rumor milling is too bland.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:14 | 1663219 drider
drider's picture

The problem with your approach is that the "state-space" is too big.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidy"

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:03 | 1663192 TradingJoe
TradingJoe's picture

What a nervous spasm this market has become, greed is trully a powerfull sentiment, so is fear, we can see it daily now! The crash will be something for the history books and will never be forgotten, just like 9/11! Seeing these fucktards drenched in dispair, not knowing where to turn anymore for a quick, easy, riskless buck makes me wanna shoot them to end their missery!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:13 | 1663217 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Theyve transfered all the welth to themselves and thought they could pull off some world collapse into their 'total control of the people' 1 world Dr Evil schome, but they see the people will not go along with it as their problem-reaction-solution technique no longer works and the people are saying 'eat the rich'.

Chile riots result in mostly cops injured and beaten. Chile - Rioting Injures 50 - Mostly Police Injured - YouTube

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:09 | 1663208 digalert
digalert's picture

Relax folks, help is coming.

Reuters slips the secret in headline:

Geithner heads to Europe as debt fears mount

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:15 | 1663222 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner will take the unprecedented step of attending a meeting of EU finance ministers in Poland on Friday.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:22 | 1663227 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Cornholio needs TP for his bunghole. PRINT!!!

Geithner's first job.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:16 | 1663224 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

And all was well just yesterday! Why, with QE3 coming within days, all these people should just be on vacation somewhere getting in the last days on the beach. What are they so worried about?

No QE?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:18 | 1663230 DefiantSurf
DefiantSurf's picture

They must be completely in the toilet if Geitner if they asked to "help" them, as if they weren't imploding fast enough

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:24 | 1663252 drider
drider's picture

Fear the Americans bearing gifts!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:12 | 1663215 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Only if you like Fleetwood Mac:

Sarkozy to Merkel regarding GPap


Why don't you ask him if he's going to stay?
Why don't you ask him if he's going away?

Why don't you tell me what's going on?
Why don't you tell me who's on the phone?

Why don't you ask him what's going on?
Why don't you ask him who's the latest on his throne?

Don't say that you love me

Just tell me that you want me

Tusk, just say that you want me

Don't tell me that you...


Tusk, Tusk, Tusk, Tusk, Tusk

(Song descends into pseudo-primitive madness)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:18 | 1663231 drider
drider's picture

GPap to Sarkozy and Merkel:

"Should I Stay or Should I Go" - Clash

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:26 | 1663257 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Timmy gonna show dem ministers how to fill out dem tax forms - problem solved!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:27 | 1663262 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Next up: Twitter

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 10:04 | 1663360 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Time for that Greek cabinet reshuffle diagram!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 14:00 | 1664447 Schwantz
Schwantz's picture

Unless anybody else can come up with an earlier public use of the term 'Merkozy', I claim copyright. You owe me 10 million new Drachmas, bitchez.
Posts: 5690
Registered: 2007-11-12 I am the wolfpack
Merkel, Sarkozy to try to tame debt crisis; entered at 2011-08-16 20:39:38
" illegitimate sovereign, huh? And you think the bondholders don't understand that the people hold the power?

Qu'ils mangent de la brioche.

Fuck you Merkozy."

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moxia19's picture

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