No We Cannes't: Here Is Why The EURUSD Is Plunging

Tyler Durden's picture

Because while the prospect of democracy returning to Greece may have been killed (for now), the world is discovering that not only will nothing else be accomplished at the "No We Cannes't" meeting, but the world will now be fully focused on Italy which unlike Greece, is not quite so easily fixable. Europe's propose solution: make Italy an IMF protectorate. We give this plan exactly 24 hours before massive failure, and before attention returns to the top news of the week: the EFSF is a complete dud, and Europe will never be able to fund the €1 trillion bailout fund.

  • BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY AGREES TO EU MONITORING
  • BERLUSCONI SAYS IMF TO CARRY OUT `CERTIFICATION' EVERY 3 MONTHS
  • BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALIAN DEBT HELD MOSTLY HELD BY ITALIANS - like Mario Draghi
  • BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS NEVER HAD TROUBLE SERVICING DEBT

And in other headlines, confirming just how impossible any form of organized decision-making is in Europe, how ironic it is to think that Obama will ever say no to his banker masters, or just how happy China will be to bail Europe out after it is about to be snubbed all over again, here they are...

  • U.S. SAYS MOST IMPORTANT FOR EU TO GIVE CRISIS PLAN MORE FORCE
  • U.S. OFFICIAL SAYS NOT MUCH DISCUSSION OF SPAIN AT G20
  • ITALY INVITES IMF PERIODIC ASSESSMENTS, U.S. OFFICIAL SAYS
  • IMF TO HAVE INTENSIVE PROCESS IN ASSESSING ITALY, U.S. SAYS

  • UIS. OFFICIAL SAYS IMPORTANT FOR CHINA TO TAKE THAT INITIATIVE
  • US OFFICIAL SAYS G20 TO HAVE STRONG LANGUAGE ON CHINA FX POLICY

  • US VERY COMMITTED TO MAKING BANKS STRONGER, OFFICIAL SAYS
  • G-20 AGREEMENT COMPLEMENT TO EUROPEAN PLAN, U.S. OFFICIAL SAYS
  • U.S. HAS BIG STAKE IN EUROPE CRISIS PLAN'S SUCCESS: OFFICIAL

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Oh regional Indian's picture

Italy and Burly Scony are cheap side-shows.

It's Spain/Sud America and Banco, not so blanco Santander (Satan'sdoer) that will light the pyre.

When somethign as bad as spain (economically) is kept assidiously off the news, something stinks.

ORI

war-memes-me-iran-israel-uk-us-social-engineering-planted-stories/

paarsons's picture

I'm shall listen to the Bee Gees and go to bed.

Good night, ladies.

I'm all fucked up.

http://fucklloydblankfein.blogspot.com

Buck Johnson's picture

This weekend is going to be telling.  As one market commentator has said on CNBC, the market has moved onto Italy now and that problem makes Greece look like a friday afternoon correction.  After seeing what is being pushed on the holders of Greek bonds that they "voluntarily" give up 50% (which is low anyway) many are getting out of sovereigns because they see a similar thing happening with all the PIIGS and possibly other countries.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

The meeting held will now be infamously known as: THE PAIN IN NORTHERN SPAIN.

Nascent_Variable's picture

The pain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, while the gains rain on the banksters, for shame.

TruthInSunshine's picture

No we Cant(or)?

O(bummer).

Boehner fader.

 

Two 'party,' false left-right illusion, with each 'side' financed by and working for the exact same entities (i.e. NOT the American People) purposefully steamrolls Amerika (the nation formerly known as America).

 

And, oh yes, Italy is fine! Italy is fine! Do not bet against or move your money from Italy. /s

GeneMarchbanks's picture

What did you expect? These imfers can't be sane.

Two dogs's picture

That's ok then - I live in the south.  

dearth vader's picture

The PAIN in SPAIN STAYS PLAINLY out of the MAIN stream media.

Ancona's picture

What the fuck happenned to all the guys who still have balls in Europe? Have they gone in to hiding or something?

blueridgeviews's picture

What guys are you apeaking about? I can't name one in the past 20 years.

TheSheepWolf's picture

I like Czech president - Klaus. He is at least the biggest Euro sceptic. When there is a chance he has to says something negative about Eurozone. 

holdbuysell's picture

They're gonna kick the can down the road until all other storms, such as the US and China all line up.

The mushroom cloud will be seen from the Andromeda galaxy.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Seriously HBS. The chess pieces move ever so slowly on the Grand Chessboard, but when it all lines up, Cheqe mate!

ORI

holdbuysell's picture

Occam's Razor would indicate that these leaders really are just trying to hold on to their last breath...

...but part of me (the skeptical, cynical side) thinks they're lining it up on purpose, simultaneously putting all people around the world in a horribly suffering position, begging for help, denouncing their respective leadership...

...only to have Soros et. al step from the shadows to rule all.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Absolutely HBS. It's happening at warp speed in India right now.

The goons will soon be saying hell-ow to their new, kindly, whitey masters.

ORI

Hephasteus's picture

I think it's been too long since india reminded you what a bitch she can be.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Heck no Heph, it's all around me every day. Liek watching an epic tragedy unfold. No reminder neded, it's everywhere.

ORI

earleflorida's picture

indeed,... "There's a divinity that shapes our Ends" [hamlet/shakespeare] - or rather, "to be, or not to be" -

unfortunately the sage,' barbed words', have been flesh'd-out on "hopium"? 

paarsons's picture

It's plunging now.

Five minuntes later it will surge.

It's all fucked up.

So what's a boy to do?

http://fucklloydblankfein.blogspot.com

Arius's picture

buy low - sell high thats the axiom i go by ...

and dont forget Peter Lynch advice:  buy things you understand ...

one thing is for sure in the long run things will be okay (we all will be dead) ... enjoy while you still can ... :-)

11b40's picture

You can buy "things" you understand all day long, but still not understand why the stock prices move the way they do.  Plus, buying what you understand implies investing to me...a very dangerous concept in today's market.  It seems only the momo boys are making any headway, and being liquid at the end of the day is a pretty good idea.

fonzanoon's picture

the beatings will continue until morale improves

Nascent_Variable's picture

Exactly what gets accomplished by provoking China?

I'm starting to think the central planners are secretly suicidal.  They can't live with themselves, and deep down, they want it to end.

It's the only rational explanation.

Cult_of_Reason's picture

The most funny headline is:

*Berlusconi: IMF Offered Us Funds, We Rejected

IrritableBowels's picture

Relax. I've never heard that asshat to recommend physical. He's talking about the cheap paper game. By and hold.

bonderøven-farm ass's picture

Naw, the clown's just late for the opening act.......

NOTW777's picture

1.3875 resistance held; next up 1.3650

pragmatic hobo's picture

weird ... greeks have the EU by the balls yet they just won't squeeze it hard enough ...

Mitzibitzi's picture

That's cos they're enjoying the reach-a-round too much to spoil it just yet.

NEOSERF's picture

IMF "assessing" italy is not "fixing" italy...

homersimpson's picture

I lift my FAZ shares in honor of the EURUSD plunge!

IrritableBowels's picture

Me too. Thinking about staying in over the weekend? It was good last time...

NOTW777's picture

waiting for the next MF

GeneMarchbanks's picture

JEF no question in my mind, going batshit--- them not me I'm smilin. Something wicked this way comes....

Dr. Engali's picture

Good Lord an IMF protectorate. How pathetic. Is there anybody left in the political world with any balls?

Dick Darlington's picture

Berlusconi headlines:

*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE THANKED IMF FOR MONETARY OFFER; `NOT NEEDED'

*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY REFUSED MONETARY HELP FROM IMF

*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY NOT GIVING UP ANY SOVEREIGNTY TO IMF

*BERLUSCONI SAYS IT'S `MENTALLY ILL' TO ABANDON MAJORITY

*BERLUSCONI SAYS PARLIAMENTARY REBELS WILL RETURN TO FOLD

*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE CONTINUES TO HAVE `SOLID MAJORITY'

*BERLUSCONI SAYS NO OTHER FIGURE IN ITALY CAN LEAD COUNTRY

*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE FEELS `OBLIGED' TO CARRY ON IN OFFICE

*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS NEVER HAD TROUBLE SERVICING DEBT

*BERLUSCONI SAYS DEBT NEVER PRESENTED PROBLEMS UNTIL NOW

*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALIAN  BANKS ARE SOLID, THRIFTY FAMILIES

*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS `HEREDITARY' HIGH DEBT

 Berlusconi Says Italy Not Living Severe Economic Crisis

 

Dr. No's picture

"It seems in today's world the power to absolve debt is greater than the power of forgiveness."

lizzy36's picture

Italy is like a game show. With hot x-porn stars and stippers playing the role of cabinet ministers.

TruthInSunshine's picture

And then it is discovered that HIV-AIDS is running ramapant, and they have to shut the production down.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

If by 'hot' you mean debauched surgery obsessed humanoids, then yes absolutely. One thing is sure, we'll have someone or other end up with prolapsed sphincter form all the pegging going on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_%28sexual_practice%29

treemagnet's picture

When the kicked can doesn't budge somebody's gonna have a broken toe.

fajensen's picture

Some of us, taxpayers mostly, believe that "how impossible any form of organized decision-making is in Europe," is a Good Thing because that happens to be the only factor delaying the orgy of looting that Team OhBummah and the European banksters think is sound fiscal management. 

Milestones's picture

There is not a person in either the E.U. or the USA who could lead a pygmy blowgun squad. Gawd!!!    Milestones

FlyPaper's picture

How about a British-educated pygmy?

Mongo's picture

Don't forget that Italy owns France ~380 billion Euros...

YesWeKahn's picture

Robo missing for three days. This is worrisome.