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North Korea Launches Rocket, ABC Reports Launch Has Failed

Tyler Durden's picture


Red headline time. From Yonhap:

  • North Korea launches rocket - S.Korea's YTN Television
  • U.S official confirms North Korea has launched rocket
  • Rocket launch took place at 7:39 local time - South Korea Defense Ministry,

Japan likely in full mobilization mode right about now. Or not: this just in:

  • ABC's Martha Raddatz reports the North Korean rocket launch has FAILED.
  • Rocket was inflight for about a minute before it failed

Somebody is about to have their daily 5 gram portion of food cut in half as the local rocket no fly long time.

And scene:

  • Japanese Defense Minister says NKorean rocket appears to have fallen into ocean
  • Japan Def. Min. Tanaka: DPRK rocket appears to have exploded one minute after launch.
  • Yonhap: ROK residents near DMZ were alerted to seek shelter from possible DPRK rocket debris.
  • South Korean army says rocket debris crashed between 190km and 210 km off Kunsan, a city on West South Korea

Now how long before North Korea blames South Korea for shooting down the rocket? In the meantime South Korea is not waiting. From Yonhap.

South Korea on Friday called for the United Nations Security Council to respond to North Korea's defiant long-range rocket launch, even though the launch appears to have failed

In other news, North Korea is redefining "minuteman" since 7:39 local time

This is was the projected path.


For those with Google Earth apps, here is the KMZ file showing the path in its full glory.


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Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:57 | 2339770 navy62802
navy62802's picture

Haha, nice. "Red headline time." Smooth.

Well, hopefully the world doesn't end or anything. :-P

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:03 | 2339802 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

                          .  .


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:24 | 2339868 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Oh Shit.  How you say "deep kimchi" in Siberian?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:02 | 2339972 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I contend it was rather successful. Guess it depends on your propoganda slant.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:06 | 2339982 Triggernometry
Triggernometry's picture

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:37 | 2340056 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

spx must be up locked limit as koreans cant nuke us yet

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:39 | 2340061 Hard1
Hard1's picture

I told you not to order that nozzle from the lowest cost chinese supplier.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:45 | 2340079 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



No ration for you!!!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:05 | 2340124 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

It is more like a noose for you!!!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:53 | 2340210 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



"Rohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Koraaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!"

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 22:27 | 2340365 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 23:47 | 2340607 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



No matter how hard you try, the blues and that rag will not nearly begin to quell it, Kimmy.


The screams will always be louder and the blood tooooooo great.


Fucker, unintended as you may be...

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 01:54 | 2340804 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Looks like it almost hit philippines.



Fri, 04/13/2012 - 05:10 | 2340934 OldPhart
Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:03 | 2339974 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:29 | 2339889 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Is that a deer in the snow or a nuclear white flash?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:38 | 2339918 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

CNN said, it failed. Forget it. Let's check

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:42 | 2339927 Cdad
Cdad's picture minute was "better than expected."  Markets to soar like a non North Korean rocket.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:41 | 2340216 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

I think the ATF sold them the materials they needed so it was probably a success. Operation boom and doom I believe...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 23:33 | 2340575 mr. mirbach
mr. mirbach's picture

HuffPo said "Weapon of Mass Dysfunction" - priceless!

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 00:14 | 2340673 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

All the more hilarious considering that's HuffPo's disinfo nickname....

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 06:21 | 2340985 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture


AOL: All Over Liberal

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:57 | 2339771 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

So what's next full scale attack against them?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:58 | 2339780 navy62802
navy62802's picture

We begin bombing in 5 minutes:

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:16 | 2339852 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

I guess that since 5 minutes has passed we are saved from a nuclear war once again

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:28 | 2339882 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

First video in of launch.  Unbelievable.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:26 | 2339861 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

Exclusive North Korean Missile Test Footage - CONAN on TBS



Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:00 | 2339795 Gidas19
Gidas19's picture

no, another food aid from u.s.s.a

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:11 | 2339805 tickhound
tickhound's picture

We'll wait until all the kinks are rectified and appropriate infrastructure has been constructed and is fully operational... Its the only way to turn an attack with "no boots on the ground" into a long sustainable drawn-out military action, preferably lasting years.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:57 | 2339957 Hangfire
Hangfire's picture

We must first warn them and let them know how serious we are! 

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:34 | 2340195 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:58 | 2339778 non_anon
non_anon's picture

Sputnik! bitchez!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:58 | 2339782 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Rejoicing in the control room.  It worked!  We will not be killed!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:22 | 2339863 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Dejection in the control room.  It failed.  TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:28 | 2339887 knukles
knukles's picture

Tonight control room personnel be dined upon by starving masses in North Korea Hell.
Pass the kimchee

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:33 | 2339908 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Greetings Professor Falken...shall we play a game?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:13 | 2339959 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

How about Global Thermonukular War?   ;-)

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:13 | 2340144 TeMpTeK
TeMpTeK's picture

Lets play a game/


Fri, 04/13/2012 - 04:18 | 2340903 Dugald
Dugald's picture

This rocket suffered a severe attack of Korean droop.

Rocket went down, so then, how many scientists and generals were given fast elevation

to the heavens.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:00 | 2339783 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

Long Dong IV

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:36 | 2339915 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

Pre-ejaculation failure.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:03 | 2339976 fourchan
fourchan's picture

eminance front

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:19 | 2340017 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Long Dong ill

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:58 | 2339784 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

That red line looks like the dollar index...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 18:59 | 2339787 HD
HD's picture

Anyone can launch a rocket. It's what you do with the rocket.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:00 | 2339790 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Look out Wichita.


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:02 | 2339796 Starving Artist
Starving Artist's picture

Look out Wasilla.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:34 | 2339909 knukles
knukles's picture

+1 for Dr. Who

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:02 | 2339797 dfl8r
dfl8r's picture

That sucker's heading straight for Antarctica!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:26 | 2340174 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

The idiots at Norad won't see it coming when it circles the globe and attacks from Mexico.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:04 | 2339803 Born-Again Bankster
Born-Again Bankster's picture

The size of the rocket is said to be 3 or 4 inches smaller than standard Western Rockets and 7 or 8 smaller than those launched in Africa.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:05 | 2339814 dfl8r
dfl8r's picture

It's a North Korean Phallus-class rocket.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:25 | 2339877 knukles
knukles's picture

Who the fuck junked dfl8r? 
That's funny you dickwad! 
She wasn't being serious. 


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:18 | 2340012 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Probably pissed because they had a bunch of call options on the NK rocket industry.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:51 | 2340094 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

remember that MASH episode where the commie guy pilots the bi-plane running on cooking oil and has the little hand-held bombs with the fins?

they'd hear his bi-plane come sputtering over the ridge and run outside to wave and see if he hit anything when he dropped the bomb over the side and sped away...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 22:36 | 2340387 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

You're talking about 5 o'clock Charlie.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:41 | 2340214 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

who??  just some cunts

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:08 | 2339823 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

The silos and boosters are smaller in Korea too.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:00 | 2339965 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

They are not allowed to have fun more than a minute too.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:08 | 2339825 HD
HD's picture


But Asian rocket fly you long time...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:11 | 2339835 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Yep,  and very well packaged.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:43 | 2340071 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Dung mung Chin's son fuck up..... he next to disappear tommorow

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:34 | 2339900 centerline
centerline's picture

Just tell them it is not about the size of thier rocket... it's how they use it!


(edit... oops, that didn't work out either.  Oh well.)

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:55 | 2339954 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

DPRK's LON_DONG VI only lasted 1 min but FED's QE is going and going and going.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:04 | 2339804 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

Who cares.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:35 | 2340052 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Taiwan     ??

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:05 | 2339807 Confused
Confused's picture

Ugh. I'm annoyed at the thought of all the talking heads on TV (and by extension my coworkers - since original thought is verboten) saying how bad this is............



Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:24 | 2339870 knukles
knukles's picture

Which means that the economy will rebound shraply as hiring skyrockets (ha ha haha haha ah; sky-rocket, get it, rocket?  hhahh hah heeeh he ) in response to the Empire's partiotic masses building, cultivating, creating more to feed the Leviathan for the altruistic good of self defence and the golbal spread of One World Democracy or some such horseshit.  
Flyover of thousands of fully armed drones spying constantly upon the populace to mitigate the negative surreptitious disentigration of society caused by direct effects of millions of foreign spies on our college campuses, tears streaming, chins quivering, the sound of a million voices crying out in unison; "I love Big Brother!"

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:19 | 2340019 Confused
Confused's picture

I can't remember, was it eastasia, or eurasia that we were fighting?



Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:43 | 2340054 knukles
knukles's picture

C.P. Cavafay  “Waiting for the Barbarians”

What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum? 
            The barbarians are due here today.
Why isn’t anything happening in the senate?
Why do the senators sit there without legislating? 
            Because the barbarians are coming today.
            What laws can the senators make now?
            Once the barbarians are here, they’ll do the legislating.
Why did our emperor get up so early,
and why is he sitting at the city’s main gate
on his throne, in state, wearing the crown? 
            Because the barbarians are coming today
            and the emperor is waiting to receive their leader.
            He has even prepared a scroll to give him,
            replete with titles, with imposing names. 
Why have our two consuls and praetors come out today
wearing their embroidered, their scarlet togas?
Why have they put on bracelets with so many amethysts,
and rings sparkling with magnificent emeralds?
Why are they carrying elegant canes
beautifully worked in silver and gold?
            Because the barbarians are coming today
            and things like that dazzle the barbarians. 
Why don’t our distinguished orators come forward as usual
to make their speeches, say what they have to say?
             Because the barbarians are coming today
            and they’re bored by rhetoric and public speaking. 
Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion?
(How serious people’s faces have become.)
Why are the streets and squares emptying so rapidly,
everyone going home so lost in thought? 
            Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come.   And some who have just returned from the border say
there are no barbarians any longer. 
And now, what’s going to happen to us without barbarians?
They were, those people, a kind of solution.


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:43 | 2340072 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Dont call us, We'll call you.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:05 | 2339808 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Good for a +10 handle on the ES by the time I take my morning shit tomorrow.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:12 | 2339837 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

In the time honoured way I was just going to ask.."yeah, but where's the trade bitchez?" thanks for that..

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:06 | 2339810 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Will Japan shoot it down?

Will the US?

Exciting moment!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:06 | 2339816 frippy
frippy's picture

I loves me some Korean BBQ!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:07 | 2339817 Misean
Misean's picture

I was unaware Testor sold kits in N. Korea. Those Double-D rockets can go quite far...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:06 | 2339819 Seditious Blasphemer
Seditious Blasphemer's picture

The US grand standing about NK's one long range missile is making a Mount Everest out of an ant hill.

Everyone knows, even NK, that if NK got a missile that contained any kind of warhead into the US, North Korea would be wiped off the map.

Not that theres much to wipe off, but still.

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 05:23 | 2340948 OldPhart
OldPhart's picture

But those dingleberries itch like hell!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:06 | 2339820 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

When does the parachute come out so they can reclaim the cone portion and repack for next weeks launch?

They have shit on sale at Wal-Mart this week.  That's their ticket to big-big savings.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:47 | 2339939 SgtSchultz
SgtSchultz's picture

I have it on good authority that they have a sovereign account at Toys R Us but they got a bad shipment of fuel pellets.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:06 | 2339821 trulyslide
trulyslide's picture

I went to for some live updates, but they tell me things like George Zimmerman, Hillary Rosen and Mel Gibson are more important. What were we talking about again?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:09 | 2339829 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

CNN?!  That explains it.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:17 | 2339851 knukles
knukles's picture

Hey, Gnewet Geningrich said today that CNN was more fairer than Fox, so, let's not get too judgemental about it. 

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:44 | 2340223 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Lauren Lister on RT is the fairest of them all.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:12 | 2339836 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

They said the rocket's heading toward you, tuxedo boy;)  Time to duck and cover.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:15 | 2339846 knukles
knukles's picture

We were talking about North Korean midget tranny porn, weren't we? 

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:21 | 2340092 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

My wife is complaining her Alex Trebek  and Pat Sajak are being interrupted 

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:07 | 2339824 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Kim Jong Jr. finally trades in the high heels for some boots.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:30 | 2339892 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Maybe not. He can't keep it up.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:10 | 2339830 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

If the US were serious about controlling defense spending, it would have used this as an live-fire ABM practice-target rather than wasting one of its own.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:13 | 2339838 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Hoo flung poo?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:16 | 2339850 Decolat
Decolat's picture


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:37 | 2339840 knukles
knukles's picture

Lemme see here, and coming from a bloke with no formal Rocket Science background altho people used to munble something about Knukles thinking he was a fucking Rocket Scientist which I shall take as giving me ample authority, a question for youse guyses in dah kno....
Is not the trajectory of that beast (Here tell it's nicknamed "#666, Mr. Bond") a little too far to the south to be of optimal utilization of the earth's rotational momentum?  
More a shot across Japan's and thus the West's bow mayhaps for the geopolitical terroristic effect?
Could George Lucas done them any better?
After all, Stanley Kubrick has passed away.  (Referring to the so called supposedly hidden Apollo 11 filmed moon landing conspiracy meme embedded in "The Shining".)

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:21 | 2340021 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



That's why we have no footage of the OBL bagging and the would be destruction of this missile.


No Kubrick.


Oh well, back to my tinfoil crafts, such as they are.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 22:49 | 2340433 knukles
knukles's picture

+ priceless

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 23:48 | 2340610 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture




Fri, 04/13/2012 - 02:07 | 2340821 Knobbius
Knobbius's picture

Optimal utilization of the Earth's rotation isn't a make or break issue.  One can trade payload margin for orbital inclination (up to a point).  Firing due East from an equitorial launch site gives you the best payload for a given launcher, but then a 0 degree inclnation orbit is mostly only used for geosynchronous birds.  A shot due South from NK would result in something close to a 90 degree inclination orbit, which is pretty consistent with what an Earth observation satellite would do.  The loss of payload margin on that trajectory isn't a big deal, since the payload was so small anyway.

That trajectory has the added benefit of not overflying Japan or SK.  Weirdly, what they did is responsible space launching (i.e. don't rain debris or spent stages on your neighbors).  An important consideration when most of your payloads wind up as flaming wreckage in the Sea of Japan....

Fri, 04/13/2012 - 05:16 | 2340939 Archduke
Archduke's picture

I thought so too, as it's 90 degrees off the optimal path for putting things up into orbit,

but on second thought it's about the momentum and trajectory imparted to the satellite.


Given the desired flight path

it's a good trajectory for a longitudinal orbit that covers US norad, Oz, Singapore, Taiwan.


That is if we are to take the satellite launch mission statement at face value of course.

It could be they were ambitious and skipped the base step consisting of just getting up

into orbit, and aimed high to the second step of actually putting up a useful spy sat.

after all, they don't shy away from irrational exuberance.


it could be propaganda, posturing, or it could be a coded threat where they could have

self-destrcuted the missile after establishing that the trajectory and thrust vector was good.


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:14 | 2339844 pleseus
pleseus's picture

No nuclear war. Sell gold, sell silver. Buy Apple. It only goes up.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:49 | 2339946 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Oh shit, just did the opposite.  Wish me luck!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:15 | 2339845 youngman
youngman's picture

But I thought Obama told them not too....great dipshitlomacy

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:19 | 2339859 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Future headine: 

Misguided missle hits Japan.


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:21 | 2339862 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Watch them reverse course and give them the food anyway because of the "failure".

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:22 | 2339864 moskov
moskov's picture

Failed? Just because ABC said so with no picture, sound and video. So trustworthy

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:53 | 2340099 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



ABC: All Bureau Censorship

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:24 | 2339867 youngman
youngman's picture

It did not showed the world that they can do what they want and will do what they want...Wether the UN or Obama says anything or another nasty

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:30 | 2339888 moskov
moskov's picture

Maybe Obama knew they can't really shoot it down successfully so their prostitute media would have to rush in to misinform the public by a fake and unconfirmed report to save face. A real news report should always provide real evidence before fooling the public like retarded children

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:11 | 2339920 knukles
knukles's picture

It's legal now, after Joe Biden called Al Franken one of America's leading constitutional law scholars today. 
Like having already passed the National Make Fun of Retarded People Week Act.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:23 | 2339869 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Depends what their objective was. If they just needed to have the rocket enter the upper atmosphere to detonate a EMP then it would of been a success. Obviously, this was not the case but the goal is not to wipe out with nukes but to wipe out our electronics, which by default, would cripple our country.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:27 | 2339880 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

Their leaders are trying to escape earth since we all know that 2012 will be our last year....(jk)

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:50 | 2339945 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture
Money, you can't take it with you, but then that's not the place where it comes in so handy. -Brendon Francis
Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:29 | 2339883 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture
Seriously, These Chinese Malls Don't Have Any People In Them

“Figures don’t lie, but liars figure.” Consider that China Vanke, the nation’s top property developer, suffered a 40 percent drop in January sales. Consider that sales of excavators and bulldozers dropped by 53 percent and 67 percent respectively in January, according to China Construction Machinery Business Online. And consider that inventory levels recently reached historic highs at the same time sales activity has dropped off a cliff. Read more:

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:29 | 2339884 navy62802
navy62802's picture


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:34 | 2339910 miltiadis
miltiadis's picture

Ihe next Johny Walker motto (Keep Walking North Korea - Johny Walker)

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:31 | 2339893 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

Got word that the rocket broke apart after takeoff.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:31 | 2339896 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

And the fate of the engineers and launch / control team is:

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:32 | 2339898 q99x2
q99x2's picture

The US used to do things like but quit because the actions instilled a sense of national identity within its citizens--citizens that are now being taken over by Obama and the NWO banksters.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:33 | 2339901 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Had even odds on the launch failing.

Easy money. Almost like #btfd.

You can't even make this shit up.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:33 | 2339902 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture's a dud.

My fucking asshole doesn't have any curly thick pubes on it either.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:36 | 2339916 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Hmmm, the North Korean Elvis fan died with the new Leaders Dad, might try slapping the new Northern Boy with Ike. Lol. 

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:43 | 2339929 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Place on ground. Light fuze. Get away.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:49 | 2339944 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Yea, basically a glorified bottle rocket with a lady finger on top.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:45 | 2339931 haskelslocal
haskelslocal's picture

Total sham show having the NBC reporter tour around, providing "never before seen footage" with total access of our supposed enmy.

I think Elan Lusk must be behind this.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:45 | 2339934 nestle
nestle's picture

With all this hype for days and they failed!?

What an international embarassment that country is!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:46 | 2339935 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I told ya'll the rocket wouldn't get of the ground!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:49 | 2339943 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

We really ought to launch a few dozen rockets in protest of this rocket launch.  

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:51 | 2339949 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

And we know this wasn't shot  Because the DoD says so?

Fucking please.  I don't doubt that the pancake face idiots didn't paint a flying gas can and it exploded.  But, I also wouldn't doubt that we shot this mother fucker out of the air to save the markets.

But, hey...that's just me.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:54 | 2339953 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

Does it matter?  If it was shot down, that still proves that they're no threat to anyone.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:04 | 2339977 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Does the truth matter?  Not since a long long long time.

Look at that ES just grind higher in a linear fashion.  Ain't it wonderful?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 21:39 | 2340208 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

Well, judging from initial observations on Bloomberg coverage this morning, the story is confusing.

1. The banners state that the launch appears to have failed, while speaker Susan Li says that it has failed.

2. She also said, that the rocket broke up into four pieces after about 1 minute of flight. At one point she misspoke and said blew up and then corrected herself to broke up.

3. The correspondent (blond lady) who delivered more detailed updates explained in an earlier segment that the projected path would result in two debris fields. One near South Korea and another near the Philippines.

4. In a later segment she stated that the debris, that had fallen in two fields one near South Korea and one near the Philippines, would provide insight for the powers, who had been on real time drills in the area, into the current level of capability of North Korea in launching rockets.

Unless I got the point 4 statement mixed up, it would suggest to me that one or more of the 4 pieces, that the rocket broke up into, at some point have reached the Philippines at least 1500 km south after being propelled for only 1 minute from NK. That sounds wierd to me. And how they know that it was 4 pieces seems odd too.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:55 | 2339955 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Funny how a private US company (SpaceX) does better than a country.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:59 | 2339961 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

They will have to cover this for their own people and tell them imperialist power X shot it down.

Tomorrow there will be plenty of openings in the NK rocket industry.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 19:58 | 2339962 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

It was fueled with high octane kimchee...back to the "raboratory", boyzz....

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:08 | 2339989 knukles
knukles's picture

Need more Mentos in the soda pop for more momento....

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:00 | 2339967 Hangfire
Hangfire's picture

North Koreas latest attempt to destroy Davy Jones locker.  Keep trying, you'll get it eventually!    

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:01 | 2339968 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

This news is bullish...already priced in for tomorrows daily melt up....amd awaaaaay we go.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:10 | 2339990 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Exactly the point.

They'll ass fuck the ES higher all night on this most glorious result and market 'confident building' event.


Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:05 | 2339969 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

#DPRK to issue statement shortly.

Could be big!

IMO, it will be either ``you shot it down and it's war!`` or ``it was a success`` or ``we will try again``...

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:11 | 2339995 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Way to go out on a limb.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:01 | 2339970 mendolover
mendolover's picture

I don't know what happened to Jong Ills Estes rocket, but I guess this means we can safely say 'fuck off' when he demands free food from us saps in the west.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:05 | 2339979 DrewJackson
DrewJackson's picture

New N. Korean Stealth technology.... it only APPEARS to blow up after 1 minute, then 40 minutes later.     BOOM!!

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:07 | 2339984 nothing can go wrogn
nothing can go wrogn's picture

"Japan likely in full mobilization mode right about now."

Finally! I've been waiting for this! They're going to stand up...get organized, grab the bull by horns, and get to work to stabilize Fukushima, save their people, the Pacific ocean and the norhern hemisphere!

Oh wait...this is about a bottle rocket from North Korea?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:07 | 2339985 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



No deribbery?

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:14 | 2340001 machinegear
machinegear's picture

It hit a migrating goose. Completely unexpected from such a high tech rocket.

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:16 | 2340006 DaylightWastingTime
DaylightWastingTime's picture

rike father rike son

Thu, 04/12/2012 - 20:20 | 2340020 BunnyMunroe
BunnyMunroe's picture

Das ist sow funi you vite supierior von you.


Racism sucks. Knock it off.

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