"NYSE Is Currently Unavailable For Trading"

Tyler Durden's picture

It seems that "imminent" NYSE fix is a little delayed... Luckily, for now, nobody has come up with a high frequency way to front run navel gazing and thumb twirling.

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Earl of Chiswick's picture


BAC being attacked by the shorts - they will fail

LongBalls's picture

Chicken Sh!T$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


flacon's picture

My NYSE stocks are trading.... 09:32am...

augie's picture

PC Load letter?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN!?!

Bananamerican's picture

you don't wanna open the "load letter"....

Sudden Debt's picture

I wonder at what price level they'll need a Tarp shot :)

My prediction of 40 cents for BAC is getting a lot closer these days :)


Sudden Debt's picture

hahahahaha :)

4 cents in dividends per year. I only buy banks with a 10% div. So 40 cents is what I would pay for it.

And in todays environment, I might even expect a 15% return to cover a bit of the risk.

I don't buy that "future earnings" crap AT ALL!

They still need to write down all that Real estate crap on their books and I don't even talk about all the other worthless crap they own.


TruthInSunshine's picture




Markets are broken.

This is the most unstable time in the history of markets - well - ever.

Good job Bernank. Great job, Jeeeetner. Awesome work, Dudley & Sack.

You're doing a heckuva job, New York Branch of the Federal Reserve.


Keep up the great work.

vocational tainee's picture

BAC plus DC equals banking art center drama club...

slaughterer's picture

BAC going to break $6 in T-minus 1 minute. 

slaughterer's picture

Fuck me, it's 9:50am and we are rallying.  Totally oblivious of the 10am news drops. 

MFL8240's picture

Where will the future growth come from?  The confetti machine??

Gibu The Great's picture

My guess would be something involving Kim Kardashian.

snowball777's picture

I know we're at peak oil and all, but a return to whale oil seems very unlikely.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

This might be a little bit of a problem. Could someone grab the crash cart and some oxygen please?


Cdad's picture

LOL!  All I can hear is Steve Grasso talking about the valuable liquidity that human specialists provide...and how superior they are.

alexwest's picture

i know

nyse cant process huge buying orders from FEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSss



pods's picture

It could not handle the surge when the FED clicked "Buy All."

"Are you sure you want to Buy All? Click yes to continue."

Bet you there is a Banzai in there somewhere.


The Shootist's picture

At least zero hedge isn't crashing -jk...

ZippyDooDah's picture

What's that smell? lol

mayhem_korner's picture

It's the unmistakable stench of Red Bull induced OCD vomitus.  Pit traders go through withdrawal 9 minutes after the opening bell if they don't have trade tickets in their espresso-stained paws.

magpie's picture

This is not the market you are looking for.

mayhem_korner's picture

...move along.  (waves hand)

Mesquite's picture

Ahhh ..'Change you can believe in...' Smirk..

Idiocracy's picture

Midtown Manhattan. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

Syrin's picture

Latest Chinese cyber attack, eh?

hackerinspace's picture

did the 40-day banking holiday start early?

kito's picture

what!!!!!!!!!!!!! on a day when the stocks are set to soar to new heights!!!!!!!! nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

bigdumbnugly's picture

maybe they'll start trading lint and nail clippings to keep sharp in the meantime then.

Dapper Dan's picture

It is a little early for pop corn and Jim Beam but what the hell, I'll be back in a jiffy....

cowdiddly's picture

I thought I was the only one living on cornbread and whiskey. Survival foods that stood the test of time. LOL

IMA5U's picture

good for the bulls


it will help the market lift higher at the open

Stumpy's picture

OK, I know a lot is happening lately, but could this just be a "regular" system crash? I mean those systems are not perfect. And again, I'm not being naive, I'm just an IT guy that know that things can go wrong.

Dreadker's picture

I'm an IT guy too... and things don't go this wrong this often with such a level of 'convenience'...

Stumpy's picture

Yes, you're maybe right. All those 9999999 in uptime are begining to look like 666666.

sailfrog's picture

What is convinient about having downtime and losing money? And for what purpose? NYSE listed stocks trade on dozens of other market centers that are not down.

I'm all for crazy conspiricy theory (this is ZH after all) but the idea that any US equities market center would be down on purpose simply does not make reasonable sense.

StychoKiller's picture

They had to replace the condenser under the distributor cap and re-time the ignition...

Arius's picture

problem is with timing .... hopefully, nothing important and we all will be okay ... at the end we always will make it!  i am a firm believer on the power and intellengence of machines and people

SMG's picture

Yeah, you may be right.  It's just that when you have a privledged Oligarchy who constantly lies for it's benefit, you're always left to wonder if anything like this is an innocent or something staged for their benefit.  It would be much better if we got rid of the Oligarchy and wouldn't have to wonder all the time like this.

Stumpy's picture

Its the perfect situation for speculation. Everybody seems to have an opinion or have heard something on some website. Few people says: "I just don't fucking know".

DOT's picture

The IT consultant put the QE3 pipline into production too soon.


Stumpy's picture

Or a new IPO that we don't know of is named "DROP table Equities"

sailfrog's picture


"Oh yes, little Bobby tables, we call him"


mynhair's picture

Did this cause the raid on Au?  Boredom from the algos?

gimli's picture

can I still put in an order for a double cheeseburger, fries and a medium chocolate shake?

Dreadker's picture

Yep - Tim Geithner will handle that for you at the drive through ;-)