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NZZ: "Zie Bewegen Die Markte"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

To all our German-speaking readers, and particularly our readers in Switzerland, we present an amusing piece out of Swiss NZZ, titled "Angstmacher im Netz." Even a very rudimentary understanding of German is sufficient to grasp the gist...

 

 

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Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:26 | 2001919 clones2
clones2's picture

There's actually an Apple store right around the corner....

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:29 | 2001931 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Slightly bigger picture, very pertinent video on why the EU is being collapsed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPcWHBPYOSU

ori

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:46 | 2001995 willien1derland
willien1derland's picture

If the information presented in this video is true - (and the references to the ESM legisation appears legitimate) this is the single most significant video on the European Crisis that I have ever witnessed! Tyler & ZH - this video is absolutely worth your time! Thank you ORI -

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:48 | 2002199 swani
swani's picture

Yes, this video explains very clearly how the ESM would make the ECB like the Fed and how with this new legislation, the European countries would lose all of their sovereignty. Debt slavery for all!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 23:56 | 2003371 Kitler
Kitler's picture

Actually it's just a teensy bit worse that that because the bankrupt sovereigns will have to borrow the money from the bankrupt private banking sector as per European charter. Can you spell    P-a-n - E-u-r-o-p-e-a-n  b-a-n-k-s-t-e-r  b-a-i-l-o-u-t?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:02 | 2002241 unky
unky's picture

Nothing new. THey already can take away our money indirectly via inflationary money printing at the ECB...

 

And the funniest part is the end of the video: Write/contact your governor, if that would change anything.

The only way to stop this madness is if  you stop to be part of the fiat bases system (as far as possible)

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 22:14 | 2003179 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

ZH linked this video yesterday!  Good stuff though.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:56 | 2002022 Sunshine n Lollipops
Sunshine n Lollipops's picture

Talk about making a deal with the devil.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:31 | 2002147 falak pema
falak pema's picture

ZH has already posted this Ori with an editorial, by TD!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 18:19 | 2002572 vitoox
vitoox's picture

Vladimir Bukovsky told us all about this crap looong time ago. Didn't he? Vladimir Bukovsky: EU = USSR

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:47 | 2001990 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

The article talks of ZeroHedge occasionally spreading false news. This is no easy matter, its a reminder that you have responsibilities as journalists and that ZH must doublecheck its sources frequently! ...

AND DO NOT COPY FROM THE DAILY MAIL....

merry-x-mas  ... Im out of here, catching a night flight.  cu next year

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:13 | 2002084 chinaguy
chinaguy's picture

LOL - the EUs Central & Primary banks accusing bloggers of spreading false rumors ..."Oh dear, someone is spreading false rumors to move the markets"...just too damn funny. 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:54 | 2002214 He_Who Carried ...
He_Who Carried The Sun's picture

This is NOT "the EUs Central & Primary banks" !

The NZZ is one of the most respected newspapers in the world like the NYT, FAZ, Guardian, ABC, El Pais, et cetera... Its not a laughing matter to be accused by one of these... ;-0

bfn

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:03 | 2002251 i love cholas
i love cholas's picture

If you're going to have picture of breast why not select a pair that are fake

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 22:11 | 2003173 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

I dont know some of the others, but the NYT is a flat out propaganda machine and the Guardian is little if any better.

Being accused of anything by them doesnt mean much, and if the others are of that same variety I dont see much cause for concern.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:53 | 2002210 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

From the NZZ article ... ZeroHedge the boogeyman:

Die Blogger von Zerohedge wussten bereits am Mittwoch, was dann passieren würde:
« Das wird den Markt töten. » Die Zerohedge-Autoren gehören auf Twitter innerhalb der Finanzszene zu den Wortführern. Auffällig häufig äussern sie sich euphorischüber Gold – ...

@zerohedge: Betreiber eines Finanzblogs. Die Autorenverfassen unter Pseudonymen dezidiert pessimistische Beiträge, um den « schlaffen Journalismus » zu attackieren.

Ha!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 18:24 | 2002601 StormShadow
StormShadow's picture

Halt! Sorgen Sie nicht! Bitte nicht die Flinte ins Korn werfen! Alles wird gut klappen!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:26 | 2001920 nestle
nestle's picture

Bank Run Bitchez!!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:28 | 2001926 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Wie gehts, bitchez?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:33 | 2001924 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

People lined up in front of a bank? Probably just looking to open up savings accounts what's the big deal?

ZH shoutout in the right column.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:12 | 2002079 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJSgZYUnQn0

There's a sale at Penny's!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:31 | 2001934 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

Page translation courtesy of google: Fear mongers on the net

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:45 | 2001992 kaiten
kaiten's picture

thanks

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:02 | 2002040 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Shame on those internet fearmongers, shame I say!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:09 | 2002066 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

In ZeroHedge's case it should read: Truth Monger On The Net

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:32 | 2001941 onlooker
onlooker's picture

 

Nie Ware toasters for new accounts?? People standing line for them, they must be a good brand.  Think I heard this on MSNBC when they showed the picture, maybe ABC.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:32 | 2001944 ucsbcanuck
ucsbcanuck's picture

It's all your fault Tyler LOL! Between you and Twitter...

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:06 | 2002052 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

evil speculators

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 22:17 | 2003186 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

A ban on financial blogging will probably fix everything.  I can't believe no one thought of this before.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:33 | 2001948 eurusdog
eurusdog's picture

you (ZH), crammer and roubinni made the side bar as well!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:34 | 2001956 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Horrible company to be in. Shows how much they know.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:36 | 2001959 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 this could be helpful. http://www.thelocal.de/    this is an english translation of German News.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:37 | 2001961 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

just for kicks,... see how hard it is to withdraw $50k cash from BAC,WF,Citi,or JPMC 

or for that matter $10k cash?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:52 | 2001981 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Withdrew well over 10 less than 50 in 2009. It was easy, but then again I demanded it done. Now it probably gets you on some list somewhere...

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:47 | 2002197 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

yep,... goes directly to treasury & homeland secuity as a wish list for a happy new year - courtesy/ custody your endorsement

thankyou

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:02 | 2002038 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

1. Open an account with a local community bank.

2. Write yourself a check on account with TBTF.

3. Wait 5 days.

4. Call TBTF bank and close account.

 

done.

 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:37 | 2001963 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Blaming the inner tubez beats blaming the weather.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:40 | 2001971 Hooligan
Hooligan's picture

Is there really midget tranny porn? when I get home from work, I need to google it.

 

Can you provide some good links?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 22:23 | 2003195 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

See Rule 34: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule%2034

You'll have to find the other links yourself.  But rules are rules, so happy surfing!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:40 | 2001972 Hooligan
Hooligan's picture

Is there really midget tranny porn? when I get home from work, I need to google it.

 

Can you provide some good links?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:56 | 2002219 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Just go to the SEC homepage. Or google "Sarkozy".

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:38 | 2001966 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

Cramer is bearish?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:05 | 2002048 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Cramer is always bearish just before a ramp job. Someone has to get the sheep to sell cheap.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:39 | 2001968 Maybe-Not
Maybe-Not's picture

Free Toasters?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:42 | 2001976 mr. mirbach
Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:42 | 2001978 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

i don't speak german, but i used google translate, it sucks; but, they're having a bank run, and lost 34% of their deposits?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:50 | 2002003 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

ok, i got it. blame twitter for the bank run in Latvia; cause Twitter users are pessimistic.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:43 | 2001982 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Sadly my German only goes as far as, I am a jelly donut: 'Ich Bin Ein Berliner' 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:44 | 2001985 schrock
schrock's picture

Look to the right of the article there is a zerohedge reference. Too lazy too translate it.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:48 | 2002000 schrock
schrock's picture

Someting to the effect of:

zero hedge: one operator is financially blogs. The contempt or take aut decidedly pessimisticamong pseudonymous contributes to attack the flabby journalism. 66 615 followers.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:57 | 2002026 Conax
Conax's picture

I love those computer translated pages, they read like Chinese model airplane instructions.

The article seems to imply that high speed discussion is damaging their ability to bullshit everyone.

That's cool, it is.

HFT = good

High frequency news = bad.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:45 | 2001991 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Zero hedge is mentioned.

Of course if the financial system werent so highly levered and unstable then negative rumors would have no effect.

So the obvious answer to this problem is to limit free speech.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:17 | 2002195 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

So Zero Hedge is responsible for the deadliest strain of lab mutated economic virus, created by the f**king toxic waste dump that is the U.K.'s and U.S.'s financial services sectors, with all of their financial engineers, anal-cysts & banking strategic advisers, that has been distributed/sown around the entire globe, infecting everything and everyone?

"In an age of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act."

--George Orwell

 

I think I'll go to Iceland, where they've found a cure and an immunization for this deadly pathogen, and watch today's Robber Barons, who are not above the law, but who own the law, finish burning everything down to the ground.

700 trillion+ USD in notional derivatives, for starters, bitchez.

Obama & Geithner are literally perpetuating and enabling the Ponzi Scheme:

Obama and Geithner: Government, Enron-Style 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:46 | 2001993 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Congratulation, Tyler, NZZ one of the maybe three leading German newspapers thinks you are the worlds leading financial blogger. I agree.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:15 | 2002284 malek
malek's picture

Yes, but if one of the maybe three leading German newspapers needs to write a hitpiece on ZH, things must be really bad over there now...

Edit:
some of the translations into German are really hilarious - "Das wird den Markt toeten" LOL

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:43 | 2002424 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Almost every post Tyler does is a hitpiece. And a lot of times it´s really just a rumour he´s posting. You have to know this if you are reading this site. IF you know this it´s a great source of information. IF you take everything here as the truth and spread the false information around you can cause great harm.

 

Btw, "das wird den Markt töten" is as hilarious as "this will kill the market". German and Englisch are closely related languages, no wonder they sound alike sometimes. 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 23:41 | 2003356 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

"Almost every post Tyler does is a hitpiece. And a lot of times it´s really just a rumour..."

If that's really what you believe then perhaps your Englisch isn't quite as good as you think it is.

Thu, 12/22/2011 - 10:07 | 2003848 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

I know my English is no good. What about your German?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:50 | 2002004 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

bla, bla. NZZ became another one of those MSM presstitute whores, who believe that people with a PHD or an international relations degree, such as SNB president Hildebrand, have a better understanding of the financial markets then Tyler and all the other very knowledged readers.
Negative, arithmetiic reality is NOT fear mongering.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:56 | 2002021 YesWeKahn
YesWeKahn's picture

WWIII starts with shorting the market.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:56 | 2002024 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Yes, shoot the messenger, those damn, evil speculators, and those dumb, panicky sheep who lsten to them.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 15:59 | 2002029 anyways
anyways's picture

NZZ is widely read, so big ad for free Tyler :-) But i am not sure, it's good to be mentioned alongside Cramer and Pimco ... Anyway, ZH gets more attention and thats good!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:48 | 2002037 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Is Swedbank trying to use Twitter to spread rumors...? Notorische Schwarzmaler ...  euphorisch über Gold...

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:33 | 2002088 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Nietzsche was my "virtual" hero as adolescent, I never understood him in german, when he wrote: "Thus spoke Zarathustra". But it left an indelible impression on my mind; It took me a while to ask myself after the initial Beethovian effect of that phrase, felt like the voice of Zeus thrown out to humanity, like the opening notes of Beet's Vth symphony...; who the f*** is/was Zarathustra? Was the next question I asked myself after reading that phrase. Zoroaster! Him I knew, but not as seen by Nietzsche! The follow on, as one reads the meat of Nietzsche's argument, does not meet the subliminal apotheosis of the opening stanza. Nietzsche, to my adolescent mind, was an elitist who believed humans were blind mice and needed guidance from above, from Superman. A bit like the movie King Kong; as after thought. He was good at that and as such merited respect. One doesn't choose between Beet and Mozart, on an absolute scale, but on a subjective scale. Giants are giants. Nietzsche was sexy but not my preferred philosopher. We can like King Kong but not buy the underlying philosophy of man's nemesis or guiding hand. Hercules at least was condemned from start. That's what made him fascinating, a damned hero, who would spend life atoning for original sin to the benefit of humanity. The balance was maintained. All is balance in life : Karma. It's a supremely satisfying thought. The Oligarchs always end up by paying; one way or the other.

O man, take care!
What does the deep midnight declare?
"I was asleep—
From a deep dream I woke and swear:—
The world is deep,
Deeper than day had been aware.
Deep is its woe—
Joy—deeper yet than agony:
Woe implores: Go!
But all joy wants eternity—
Wants deep, wants deep eternity."

Nietzsche goes beyond religion and in that I love him. But his Promethean dream is a menace to humanity; it conjures the legend of our current dilemma of Oligarchs who think they are supermen doing God's work as NWO creators. The ponzi a Nietzschian dream? Ubermensch...they be in their own heads! Not in ours!

 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:38 | 2002165 PulauHantu29
PulauHantu29's picture

They never seem to criticize the MSM "Everything is fine" Falsities which are fed to the public as hard facts, not merely rumors..

Odd.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:38 | 2002166 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Abolish telephones, the root cause of false rumors.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:47 | 2002196 Neidhammel
Neidhammel's picture

ZH is accused of publishing firmly "pessimistic" articles. Time for headlines like "EFSF/ESM/LTRO - Breakthrough in EMU Crisis!"

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:09 | 2002198 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Angst maker on the net"

"Market moving goals"

Oh sure, dangerous ZeroHedge and fight club members, it couldn't possibly be that we are all furious to the point of revolution for being raped by a banker/plutocrat hegemony that robs: money from savers, freedoms from the responsible, and the future from our progeny!

Oh no, of course not, it's an internet conspiracy to tear down the noble banking industry and those upright politicians.

The nipple sucking security-at-any-cost media unmensch need to get a clue!

 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 16:57 | 2002223 InMisesITrust
InMisesITrust's picture

Is that you, Baxter?  You know I don't speak Spanish.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:06 | 2002265 walküre
walküre's picture

@Tylers

With all this fame you're getting in the German media landscape, maybe it is time to start a German column?

The people in Germany have no clue what is about to hit them and not all are capable of understanding "details surrounding the coming collapse" in English.

Just a suggestion.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:23 | 2002336 Conax
Conax's picture

Darned good idea, as long as a bilingual German does the translation.

With a google translation it'll come off like

"Bankers yours be face to your lyings, all your jelly doughnut are belong to us."

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 20:09 | 2002948 walküre
walküre's picture

That's the idea. I'd be game to lead a truth campaign. Sad thing is, most won't get it until it's too late. Their belief is government can fix all problems!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:13 | 2002292 walküre
walküre's picture

@jimcramer has 422.000 followers and @zerohedge 67.000

time to go long?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:25 | 2002357 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Imaginary friends. As a child I had none. ZH don't need 'em either.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:41 | 2002393 Negro Primero
Negro Primero's picture

422.000 followers !?

"Buy Followers No Password and Without Following"

 http://www.tipixes.info/?a=gg197

 

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 20:07 | 2002940 walküre
walküre's picture

I junked myself.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 21:19 | 2003088 Conax
Conax's picture

Roflmao ! tried to green ya, it's stuck..

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:26 | 2002359 zoggl
zoggl's picture

 

Bad luck for the NZZ the article was republished by Zerohedge - so the online community has an opinion about the NZZ as well. As the most respected newspaper in Switzerland just has proven, their journalists are behind the curve and fight for a 100 year old communication model (paper-news, like paper money, future value: zero) which will be read by people who missed the train completely. Dear Sebastian Bräuer (Author of the article): what should the article be good for? Do you want to censor the web? Do you think a journalist has a more valid opinion than the people who write on/read ZH and Twitter. Instead of mobbing the users of specific web sites and twitter, you better write an article on how to properly use these sources. It´s about time you think about how to earn a living as a future jornalist (Hint. Blogger). Times are changing, and your model will be phased out soon, you just don´t know yet.   

 

Thu, 12/22/2011 - 01:37 | 2003362 Andre
Andre's picture

I don't really quite agree about paper being outmoded. Slow, yes. But outmoded?

The internet is the essence of ephemeral. It's fast, but it is like it was designed to prevent accountability over time. So far we have been lucky, it has had the opposite effect. Put it behind the great firewall of [fill in the blank] and it becomes a different story. In a different way - in 5 minutes someone can change what millions of people read on the internet, to the extent it may even say the opposite of what it said before the changes. Getting rid of or replacing printed matter is a totally different thing.

I am uncomfortable when my access to historical information can be denied by a "connection problem", a subtle editor changing content, or the availability of electric power. Also, I can read a book without wondering who is tracking my reading habits.

It is not as simple as "internet bad, books good". It is not like nobody ever lied in print, that's for sure, or that the internet never helps people out. But with stuff like the NDAA, SOPA, and all these other laws, how long will this last?

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:30 | 2002371 css1971
css1971's picture

Oh now comes the (presumably paid for) character assasination. Better watch out, next step is harrassment by officialdom and finally JFK.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:42 | 2002404 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Und blamenze das Zero Hedgenhassen! Durden ist bich sprekenze Deutsche un Internetennhassen und frightoff das bankens! Und 1 percentens liken Jamie Dimonhassen ist heromanzen!

Heil!

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:42 | 2002418 sulfur
sulfur's picture

nzz took free speech to a new level - you have to be member of a certain swiss party to work for them....

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 17:52 | 2002455 anyways
anyways's picture

"Eurogeddon", thats geil.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 18:13 | 2002539 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

The article was published in the NZZ am Sonntag, which is, my dear friends not "the NZZ", it's only published on sunday and Sebastian Bräuer is a German no-name writing in a Swiss Sunday paper, LOL, getting his Zeilengeld. Unfortunately it is no honour to be mentioned in the NZZ am Sonntag, wheras being mentioned in the traditional NZZ, my dear TD, is something special, so, ruhig weiterschaffen gemäss Tagesbefehl....

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 18:28 | 2002627 anyways
anyways's picture

From NZZ: "Die Blogger von zerohedge wussten bereits am Mittwoch, was dann passieren würde: «Das wird den Markt töten.» Die Zerohedge-Autoren gehören auf Twitter innerhalb der Finanzszene zu den Wortführern. Auffällig häufig äussern sie sich euphorisch über Gold – da schadet eine explizit pessimistische Sichtweise auf Aktien und Anleihen nicht."

Translation:  The blogger from zerohedge knew allready on Wednesday what would happen next [regarding a downgrade by S&P for Spain and Italy]:  «This will kill the markets.» The Zerohedge-authors [Tylers] are belonging to the opinion leaders in financials on Twitter. Often they write enthusiastic about Gold - an explicit negativ view on stocks and bonds is then helpful in a sense.

Translation:  [Twitter]@zerohedge: Owner of a financial blog. The anonymous authors are writing explicit pessimistic articles because they want to wake up the  »sleeping media» .

JUST THE TRANSLATION, not my opinion! :-)

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 19:48 | 2002872 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

I get all my German from Rammstein.

I still don't understand it, but it sounds good.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 20:07 | 2002938 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

I got most of my German from Udo Kier, in the opening scene of "Deeper and Deeper."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJV29ZQIUhs

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 21:28 | 2003106 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

There will probably be several open ended clauses in the SOPA legislation to remedy this sort of thing.  For the NDAA now SOPA.  If they don't silence you they will simply "make you disapear".  

 

 

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