Obama Addresses America's Illegal Aliens, Bypasses Congress

Tyler Durden's picture

Obama is about to address (as of 1:15 pm Eastern, so the sandtrap was obviously a monster) America's illegal immigrants, and critical Hispanic vote, advising them he has successfully avoided this pest known as Congress, and that henceforth not all of them will be deported. The immigrants that is, not Congress... although that too may change. Because remember: the only thing better than record part-time jobs is recorder part-time jobs. Also remember: one can't affix a price to securing the vote... of those who are ineligible to vote.

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Rahm's picture

Constitution?  What's a Constitution?

njrod's picture

Articles of Confederation > "Constitution", Bitchez!

malikai's picture

<-- Pandering, at it's sleaziest.

<-- OMG He's my hero.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

He should give 'em each $3,000.00 just to be sure.

 

Anyone remember when the President would take real questions from real journalists?

Question, Mr. President, where exactly is this $3,000.00 for every middle class American going to come from?  We'll have to borrow that from our children and grandchildren, right?

malikai's picture

Anyone remember when the President would take real questions from real journalists?

This happened?

Why $3k? That's been done before. He should give $300k to them. Let them know he wants them to "have a chance". That would really set him apart from the rest. He is different, you know.

Or maybe just give another $15T to bullshit/banks. Either way is fine with me.

mick_richfield's picture

I think we should go all the way and make everybody who is now a member of the 99% be a member of the 1%. 

Precious's picture

... the havaad law skolar is hawd at werk with his professor'n and such things ...

Coke and Hookers's picture

He has to hurry up to destroy America in case he doesn't get re-elected. No time to lose!!

knukles's picture

Do immigrants buy thingamajigs, too?

Treeplanter's picture

Biggest market.  That's why Holder is making sure they get registered to vote.  Si, se puede, pinche gringo!

AldousHuxley's picture

Democrats get the votes, Republicans get the cheap labor, middle class gets higher taxes and unemployment.

 

It has been long said that American dream is only for the super poor and the super rich.

 

 

erg's picture

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Nik Wallenda is about to attempt his baby-step approach to fleeing the US.  I wonder if anyone will notice.

AnAnonymous's picture

middle class gets higher taxes and unemployment.

___________________________

No. US citizen middle class gets the US citizen way of life.

-----------------------------------------

It has been long said that American dream is only for the super poor and the super rich.
------------------------------------------

No. The US citizen dream is mostly for the US citizen middle class.

US citizenism has barely changed the relationship between haves and have nots. Despite claiming the opposite.

Rich and poor have kept a similar business but in an abundant world.

The big change in standards of life has been given to US citizen middle class. As expected since US citizenism thrones middle class as the king class.

BigDuke6's picture

AnAn you are being rude to a classic aldous post.

It describes beautifully what exactly goes on with empires.

Like the british empire, in america the select few see the bounty.... the middle and lower lot get nothing but the grumps from cocks like you as they are tarred with the same brush.

The american dream is under the cosh from greedy PTB not 'US citizen middle class'

i'm sick of assorted 3rd worlders (no offense) accusing me of being imperialist when i dont give a shit.

my ancestors who went off to shoot people and build empire only did it to travel.

the poor persons way to see the world in the old days.

 

anyway i only popped into this thread to see how freddie was taking this 'obama fucks the country for votes' thing.

i guess you guys didn't see how tony blair did the same to the uk except with muslims.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/6440594/Jack-Straw-...


Flying Tiger Comics's picture

Big Duke Six this is Eagle Thrust, outstanding. outstanding.

 

We'll burn that tree line right off for you over and out.

 

AnAnonymous's picture

in america the select few see the bounty.... the middle and lower lot get nothing but the grumps from cocks like you as they are tarred with the same brush.

_______________________

Woooo. Impressive. The US citizens in A have seen nothing of the Indian loot?

You might tell that they have not seen enough to your tastes but nothing...

They were handed in an entire continent by their government.

akak's picture

Much like the eternally-imperialistic Han Chinese handed themselves a significant chunk of the Asian continent by invading and blobbing-up the territories of the Manchu, the Uiyghurs, the Tibetans and the Mongols.

Hypocritical rhino-horn-grinding Chinese citizenism physician, heal thyself!

Floordawg's picture

Yes they do, but they call them chingaderas (Ching-ga-dare-uhs).

AldousHuxley's picture

84 percent of government employee making more than $100,000 per year in retirement have higher incomes than they did when they were working.

 

Nearing retirement, Marty Robinson, Ventura County's former chief executive cashed out nearly $34,000 in unused vacation pay, an $11,000 bonus for getting a graduate degree and more than $24,000 in extra pension benefits the county owed her. When she retired at age 62, her pension was calculated at $272,000 annual, though her annual base salary was $228,000 a year, The Times reported.

tarsubil's picture

The rich aren't paying their fair share. We have no choice but to bail out California.

James's picture

What in your world would be "their fair share"?

What do you mean "We"?

joe6px's picture

For tarsulbil...  /sarc

just incase you didn't notice.

El Oregonian's picture

IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!... IMPEACH!

Bicycle Repairman's picture

Obama is the Commander-in Chief / Decider, and we are at war.  Don't like it and you are a Republican?

GFY.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

Yeah, sucks doesn't it.  When Bush destroyed the constitution, none of you guys ever thought that, gasp, a black, "socialist", Democrat would grab the power and do his thing.

You OWN it, bitches.

joe6px's picture

really?  maybe i didn't get your logic...or sarc... ad hominem bs.

Lednbrass's picture

Yeah, it all began with Bush.

Your only possible excuse is that you are so young and stupid that your political memory doesnt extend back before W.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

My personal political memory stretches back before your birth.  With the aid of books it stretches a lot further..

Lednbrass, you have the attitude so typical of a brain dead neo-con, so as I said earlier GFY.

joe6px's picture

So.   We get to play this year's NDAA off on Bush?  We get to play the current bailouts on Bush?  We get to play the "we will shut down Getmo" on Bush?  You are a tool with a capital "mamamama...in my head tv."  WAKE up TOOL!  They are one in the same! 

What? You only read one post on ZH?  Well then welcome my friend.  The red/blue argument has been proven false, time and time again.  Trying to defend choc. vs. van. is poor logic, they are both icecream made by your favorite banker.

Before you attack someone here you need to google the top campaign contributers for the past twenty years for both red/blue candidates.

whadya think now playa?

edit: -1

joe6px's picture

To be honest your dear and beloved Abe Lincoln destroyed the constitution.  I'm no southerner or bigot, just a student of history.  In a desperate act to maintain control of the economic solidarity of the new colonies the then president made all efforts to control trade.  How different is today's market?  Is civil war eminent?  Could there be tension between classes?  Could that tension be relieved by the eradication of the middle class?  Hmmmm.  Those that sustain the system are the bain....  Quite a conundrum.

How do we continue? Are your representatives representing you?  Do they have a golden parachute and you get nothing, but you paid for their parachute?

Tsukato's picture

Leave the man alone you anti-semite! 

lewy14's picture

The documented sector is doing fine.

Sauk Leader's picture

The middle class would simply transfer the 3,000 directly to the interest they owe to the banks anyway. Same thing.

joe6px's picture

LOL:!  If only if it was that easy!  You are another statistical idiot.  Those that are paying taxes here are getting screwed.  I don't want to pay for idiots who will not find a job!  I have never taken a single dollar of unemployment insurance.  I have worked my ass off, and expect my peers to do the same.  I don't care if you make more sitting on your ass...that just means someone else is paying your way.  If you are a patriot then get up off your ass and work Mcdonalds and Arbys....I dont care..simply because I would.  I would do whatever I needed to to provide for my family.  This next week I will scrape muscles and barnacles off buoys just to feed my family..with a post-baccalaureate degree.  Now let's talk.

European American's picture

"Those that are paying taxes here are getting screwed."

 

Those that are paying taxes here are idiots.

Harbanger's picture

The MSM journalists became dance partners with TPTB. 

Ima anal sphincter's picture

MSM journalists are owned by TPTB.

Why bother to watch the news. Complete and total BS. I avoid it like the plague.

lakecity55's picture

FACT: He will not take a question unless it was submitted before the press conference so the answer can be put on TOTUS.

He is not allowed to take any unscripted question from a "journalist."

nmewn's picture

FACT: He will not take a question unless it was submitted before the press conference so the answer can be put on TOTUS.

Correct.

Whenever he goes unscripted he will utter some inanity like "doin fine" or granny don't get her check.

But who loads the answers into TOTUS to the pre-packaged questions that the Obatoman opines on?...that would be one Valerie Jarrett.

Shameful's picture

Perhaps you have never heard of Zimbabwe Ben's Magic Printing Press (TM)?  Personally I'm all for it, what's another trillion in money printing between friends, and I can spend mine on real assets.  I'd rather get it then it just be handed to JPM, GS, BofA, etc...

ndotken's picture

Rather than "borrowing", I think it's called STEALING when you forcibly take money from others and have no intentions of ever paying it back

RafterManFMJ's picture

Anyone remember when the President would take real questions from real journalists?

Heads up! Heads up!
Here's another one!
And a, and another one
Oh!

[Chorus]
Yeek yeek woop woop! why you all in my ear?!
Talking a whole bunch of ****
That I ain't trying to hear!
Get back ************! You don't know me like that!
(Get back ************! You don't know me like that!)
Yeek yeek woop woop! I ain't playing around!
Make one false move I'll take ya down
Get back ************! You don't know me like that!
(Get back ************! You don't know me like that!)

SemperFord's picture

You mean:

Orale Holmes!

Orale Carnal!

Orale Compadre!

tenpanhandle's picture

Green cards?  We don't need no stinkin green cards.  Just give us ballots.

Agent P's picture

Might I suggest one more edit?  Swap out the suit and tie for a "Free Mustache Rides" t-shirt.