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Obama Addresses America's Illegal Aliens, Bypasses Congress

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Obama is about to address (as of 1:15 pm Eastern, so the sandtrap was obviously a monster) America's illegal immigrants, and critical Hispanic vote, advising them he has successfully avoided this pest known as Congress, and that henceforth not all of them will be deported. The immigrants that is, not Congress... although that too may change. Because remember: the only thing better than record part-time jobs is recorder part-time jobs. Also remember: one can't affix a price to securing the vote... of those who are ineligible to vote.

 

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Fri, 06/15/2012 - 20:04 | 2531070 Dugald
Dugald's picture

The Constitution........

Soon to be replaced by the "Devine Right of Kings"

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 21:50 | 2531183 philipat
philipat's picture

Which part of "Illegal Immigrant" does "O" not understand?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:03 | 2530009 dolph9
dolph9's picture

The cynicism of this affirmative action nonentity knows no bounds.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:11 | 2530055 akak
akak's picture

More mendacious and muddleheaded mutterings from the Mulatto Messiah.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:10 | 2530357 web bot
web bot's picture

Hey Mr. A... you're on a roll today!

What in the name of God has the United States become? How can anyone continue to vote for the Ken(sy)an President?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:27 | 2530425 akak
akak's picture

Thanks Bot!

Still missing Leo?

;-)

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 20:01 | 2531069 web bot
web bot's picture

I sure do... It took a while to go through the DTs and withdrawl, but I'm on the mend. But I sure miss ripping his little keynsian ideas to shred. Oh well.

Are you getting ready for the apocolpyse on Monday? lol

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 20:13 | 2531085 akak
akak's picture

Screw that --- I'm going to have breakfast with Leo!

Being personally featured in his blog ("Viewed by literally fives of readers worldwide!) will mark the highlight of my life.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:03 | 2530012 TorchFire
TorchFire's picture

No sovereignty. Hope you were touched by flag day.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530014 Mercury
Mercury's picture


“This is a temporary, stop-gap measure…”


If that doesn’t instill leadership confidence at this point I don’t know what will.

*Sigh*


Our hopes were once so high: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtlDVi_1JMg

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:04 | 2530017 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

So this is why Obama doesn't want Florida to clean up its voter rolls, as it is legally required to do under federal law?  All makes sense now, thanks.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:06 | 2530021 SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Nobody in power has the balls to stop them, I am so ashamed to have been a Marine, there is no integrity with the people in DC.

 

EDIT: Not in the Marine Coprs itself but in doing any work for these parasytes!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:10 | 2530049 john39
john39's picture

trained to follow orders....  but the people at the very top... they sold what was left of their souls.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 06:45 | 2531665 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Same boat <sigh>.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:05 | 2530023 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

1:15? It's after 2 already....

Playing golf?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:06 | 2530028 fuu
fuu's picture

Is TOTUS napping?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:27 | 2530150 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Is TOTUS napping?

No, he just completed his 101st round of golf since taking office.

That time to play 101 rounds equals 3 months of his tenure.

 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:41 | 2530237 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Shouldn't that be DOTUS?  Just asking.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:09 | 2530353 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

He was detained because he watched a drone get another #2 Al Quaysak.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:12 | 2530059 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

We can always hope for a rogue lightening bolt out there on the golf course. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:13 | 2530064 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Thing is, "there are no accidents in history..."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:16 | 2530086 Jena
Jena's picture

HAARP?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:05 | 2530024 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Ben advised Obama to print more voters.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:06 | 2530026 valley chick
valley chick's picture

where is the fukker...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:06 | 2530030 digalert
digalert's picture

el Rushbo:

Barack Kardashian launches catch, release, vote!


 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:09 | 2530046 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sí se puede!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:10 | 2530031 Bob
Bob's picture

Yeah, I've noticed the Congress Critters can't wait to get their arms around this one.  JK.

Obama delivering shit to anybody but the banksters and fear industries is just comedy at this point. 

He'll deport "fewer" aliens just as he'll stop prosecuting medical marijuana patients. 

Just believe. 

Of course, it's convenient that economic conditions provide a smaller pool of aliens to deport . . . while maintaing a far higher deportation rate that Dubya.  "Fewer" deportations shouldn't be that hard, all in all.

Weird thing here is that I don't see why deporting them all is a bad idea. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:07 | 2530034 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Obama/Biden 2012: Pandering for votes 1 constituency at a time.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:08 | 2530036 the iD
the iD's picture

late? color me surprised.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530070 akak
akak's picture

You used the word "color".

RACIST!!!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:25 | 2530416 knukles
knukles's picture

And asking the slope rating of a golf course anymore is racist.
Now it's the Asian rating.

Even my uber liberal black golf buds are now starting the "Who him?  Hold on, honkey, he's half white."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:10 | 2530038 fuu
fuu's picture

Podium is present and accounted for! Nice bird sounds as well. The sirens in the background are just bonus.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 18:22 | 2530914 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

The bird sounds were piped in. The siren was real.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:09 | 2530041 CABill
CABill's picture

Amnesty is a total offensive insult to all us childeren of legal immigrants.  And us legal immigrants who struggled through the legal process to be in the US.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:53 | 2530284 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Legal immigrants? In the US? They must exist. They have to.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:04 | 2530328 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Like legal chinese immigrants to Nepal, Tibet, Mongolia, Vietnam.  Do those exist, too?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:09 | 2530043 kito
kito's picture

not all will be deported? how convenient considering there are no undocumented workers left. all have gone home thanks to the end of the economy as we know it....you see how effective our govt is?...all they had to do to curb the inflows was destroy our economy!!...that was easy!!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:25 | 2530093 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And now he's desperately trying to keep the rest from leaving.

Who needs sitcoms with this sort of reality TV going on?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:17 | 2530094 Mark123
Mark123's picture

I think it's time we dressed our politicians up in macho military uniforms.  The hats in particular should be paid attention to.

 

That way we can be exactly like the original banana republics we are trying to emulate.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530047 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

Nice garden. The landscaper does fine work.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530080 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

That's what I was thinking too. I'm a skateboarder, so I have a dear relationship with stairs. You can give me all the money in all the universes - it still won't beat the satisfaction derived from sitting on some good stairs and chatting with a buddy or two. Smokes optional but recommended. The Prez got some nice stairs... bet he never sits on em. =\

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:18 | 2530101 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Warm marble feels nice on the 'roids too!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:20 | 2530399 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

You may smoke, but no Choomin'!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:58 | 2530529 Satan
Satan's picture

You look familiar...are we related?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:11 | 2530053 RacerX
RacerX's picture

fucking clown

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:21 | 2530120 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Don't say "clown"!  I'm still keeping the lights on at night after reading Stephen King's It.

Hey, that inspires me!  Here's something new for 0bama's teleprompter.  Could somebody hack it in there for me while he's still speaking?

Welcome to America.  We all float in here.  You'll float, too.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:26 | 2530145 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Now why you gotta go insulting the clowns like that?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:30 | 2530153 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

well now that is just rude to clowns... 

 

d'oh!  N/A beat me to it, you scoundrel... 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:18 | 2530391 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

The problem is on Jan.20th 2013 Romney might be sworn in and we will have a new clown, a Mormon one. I wouldn't vote for Romney because he might decree I must have more wives. Pretty soon we will have enough for a clown car Chinese fire drill. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:11 | 2530054 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

To all those immigrants that suffered through the proper process, up yours!

To all those newly-minted legal immigrants, there are no jobs, good luck!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:12 | 2530058 the black arrow
the black arrow's picture

The Michael Savage show should be fantastic tonight after this example of constitutional destruction.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 01:18 | 2531456 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Naw man Savage got renditioned; he's being waterboarded with goat semen in Egypt.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530061 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

"Dream act" ... because you have to be asleep to vote for it.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:13 | 2530065 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

"for all intents and purposes they are Americans"

WTF...nice logic there Mr President.

EPIC FAIL

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:29 | 2530163 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ironically, he meant it the other, misued way.

"For all [my] intensive purposes, they are Americans."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:33 | 2530187 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

I stole a pencil from my next desk neighbor in second grade and used it to draw a dollar bill.  Does this mean that, for all intents and purposes, I am a bankster?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530071 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Step 1 - identify the most desperate, pliable, non-questioning people on earth.

 

Step 2 - Bring them into your country in boatloads

 

Step 3 - Shower them with benefits paid for by the confused citizens

 

Step 4 - Use media to paint a pretty story about how wonderful this initiative is.

 

Step 5 - Continue to rape and pillage the real wealth of the Nation

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 01:23 | 2531464 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Did ya ever notice that every sob story about da poor illegals features a SMOKIN HOT latino? Not some scaberous, rotund, coughing sack of suet? Now, I've seen some very attractive latinos...but seems to me the only ones that come to El Norte are the ones that have supplied themselves with extra caloric reserves for the journey.

And yet, most news stories feature SMOKIN HOT lationos who also speak English...the human mind reels at this incongruity. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530074 wretch
wretch's picture

Heckling!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530079 Jena
Jena's picture

Removed!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530115 Bob
Bob's picture

It seems a show of radical doubt has been scripted into this afternoon's Presidential Address.

We all know perfectly well how they handle anyone who's not on script.  You can't even get close to the POTUS to say something he and his handlers don't want repeated in the media.

Tens of thousands of arrested and usually beaten Americans have proven that.  Thank OWS (RIP) for that much, bitchez. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:06 | 2530339 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

wow, someone dared blaspheme the Mocha Messiah in His very Presecence?

now I know shit is getting bad.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:58 | 2530299 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Off to Gitmo for some waterboarding and indefinite detention!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:04 | 2531608 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

I was hoping somebody in the audience was carrying extra shoes...aerodynamic ones.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530075 pleseus
pleseus's picture

Is he trying not to get reelected?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530076 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Funny - Clinton issued 364 Executive Orders, Bush 291, Obama underperforming that average at a mere 127, (presidency to date).

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:24 | 2530134 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

Who needs 'Executive Orders' when you've got Predator Drones??

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:35 | 2530202 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And GPS coordinates to every house in the US, thanks to ACORN and the Senseless Bureau.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 17:17 | 2530793 fuu
fuu's picture

, and google street view.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:43 | 2531632 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

4 inch and 6 inch x 36 inch pvc pipe sectionals - and voluntary irrigration work in my neighbors back yard while they're on vacation - nice to own back ups that were reported lost on that boating accident.

So drone the fuck out of my safe using GPS and Google maps, you don't get it all fuckers.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:57 | 2530256 Count de Money
Count de Money's picture

I heard the man really loves him some drones:

http://theulstermanreport.com/2012/06/04/white-house-insider-barack-obam...

Money quote:

"The weekly meetings, the kill list…I mean c’mon now…he’s got his own personal kill list.  The guy who campaigned against Bush era interrogations…Obama don’t interrogate.  He picks a name off a list…some of these people have been U.S. citizens…he picks that name off a list and orders the kill.  Then he gets the video confirmation of the kill…and he watches it.  Over and over and over again."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:01 | 2530315 crkennedymd
crkennedymd's picture

Probably with a towel and some Jergens

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:10 | 2530356 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Idi Amin, Seku Toure, and Sani Abacha, eat your heart out!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 01:23 | 2531462 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

  Zero has long been a cold-blooded killer. F'rinstance his 3 BJ-administering Black boyfriends, all killed by a gunshot to the back of the head during a 40-day span in '08...said murders still being "investigated" by the Chicago PD.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:34 | 2530195 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Who has time to write those up when you're so busy vacationing, campaigning and filling out score cards at the 19th hole tavern on the green.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:37 | 2530212 Count de Money
Count de Money's picture

Nice try. Except you don't understand that quantity is not the same as quality. That is, if your numbers are not of the made-up variety. I would bet that almost all of Clinton's and Bush's were of the innocuous kind, like a proclamation of National Petunia Day or an directive to fly flags at half-mast.

Your boyfriend treats the Constitution like it's toilet paper. I'll bet that in five years you'll never admit to anyone that you supported this clown.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:31 | 2530434 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Don't forget that once they are "ordered" they aren't revoked so the power multiplies and fewer new ones are needed.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:14 | 2530077 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

I'm so glad I didn't vote for this asshole.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530081 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Rombama 2012 !!!!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:29 | 2530157 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture

@Silverhog: But is there anything left for him to fuck up?

It's obvious that the poor middle-class schmucks like me that follow the rules (my wife went through the immigration process) and work hard get screwed in the rear end.

I'll have the last laugh in 23 months when I move my family and taxpaying ass to southeast Asia; and my annual income will be $1 less than the maximum amount to NOT pay Uncle Sam any income tax (around $90,000 now).

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530078 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

Wait.  We're gonna deport Congress?  Don't get my hopes up.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:15 | 2530082 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Why listen to this Master of Disaster when you can hear the new Jim Willie interview on TFMR and actually learn something of value?

Jim's latest on the farce: Weimar Meets Ponzi

Enjoy

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:34 | 2530175 akak
akak's picture

I always enjoyed Ponzi in "(Un)Happy Days".

Especially when he jumped the shark, and declared the largest financial bubble in world history, hyperinflating US Treasuries, to be a "safe haven".

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:16 | 2530085 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

What's wrong with letting people vote who are ineligible to vote?

It only stands to reason.

We have a president who's ineligible to be president.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:17 | 2530091 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Obama is a crafty little weasel when it comes to doing everything but bringing banksters to justice. Fuck him...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530108 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Not even with Rahm's dick.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:27 | 2530152 Rahm
Rahm's picture

Keep my dick out of this, and I"ll keep it out of your wife.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:36 | 2530207 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL

Now, go back to your ballet.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:45 | 2530252 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

He'd give you the finger, but he left it in the slicer at Arby's

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:21 | 2530122 Mark123
Mark123's picture

I think I am going to watch Idiocracy again tonight....it is getting closer and closer to a documentary.

 

"I like money"

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:51 | 2530278 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Wait a minute....are you telling me Idiocracy isn't a documentary?  That's just 'tarded!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:48 | 2531635 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

Excellent documentary.

Just remember, YOU need electrolytes, plants need water.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:07 | 2530571 Jethro
Jethro's picture

That gives me an idea for another artwork request!

 

Mr. Banzai7, what do you think about showing Obama (dressed like the head bandit in the Magnificent 7) riding on the back of a Mexican peasant, yelling "Muchacos!  We ride!"

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:17 | 2530096 Jena
Jena's picture

He's rather snappish today... Not a good time at Sarah Jessica Parker's last night?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:24 | 2530135 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

Lots of long faces at the soiree last night, well one particularly long face

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:28 | 2530158 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

He found out she's really a dude.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:30 | 2530167 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

And ... you think that would be a problem for him?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:18 | 2530099 Oquities
Oquities's picture

the buffoonder-in-chief just said that illegal aliens should not be expected to plan their lives in 2 year increments.   what about us taxpayers who have an ever-changing tax code? 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:32 | 2530182 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Fuck him & the illegal he rode in on. What about all the people who were born here that have to plan their lives in 2 week increments hoping they will get another paycheck and not a pink slip?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:38 | 2530216 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Oh yeah... gotta drop the gauntlett down on Florida and then start pandering to all the minorities who have illegal famiia here.  Perfect timing Barack.  Fucking shame you and your administration are the true enemies of the state.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530105 TheCanimal
TheCanimal's picture

Obama is horrible.  Sadly, i doubt Romney will be any different:  More illegal immigration, more wars, more money printing, more crony capitalism, more too big to fail bailouts, more inflation.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:21 | 2530119 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They call that "peaceful transition of power."

I call it "same shit, different asshole."

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:09 | 2531613 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

You're right, but Romney POTUS means no Eric Holder AG. That's enough for me.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:38 | 2530106 fuu
fuu's picture

DO NOT SPEAK WHEN TOTUS IS DISPLAYING WORDS!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530107 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"If you are a citizen, we are making sure you can't leave and your assets are ours.  If you aren't a citizen please come and visit for a while and make use of all those services citizens are taxed out the ass for; and we need your cheap labor and inability to get a fair wage, overtime, or sue for being treated like slaves."

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:19 | 2530109 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Obama's a little on edge today.  Wonder why.

Maybe because he's about to find out if he's going to be re-elected? 

If the Fed doesn't announce QE3 on the 20th and merely extends Twist =>>>> Obama loses to Romney.

Fed announces QE3 on the 20th =>>>>> Obama beats Romney.

Maybe he already knows that Bernanke will do nothing in about a week?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530112 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Does that mean Uncle Bongo and Zetuni stay? Dam.... Well I'll be a monkeys uncle!

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:47 | 2530259 TrainWreck1
TrainWreck1's picture

Then you can stay too!

 

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:11 | 2531618 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Bring your family. Here's a free house and cell phone.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:55 | 2531639 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

You mean a monkeys nephew.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530113 larry david
larry david's picture

obama: this is NOT the time for questions!

 

immediately after speech ends, he walks the fuck away.  made me lol.  

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530114 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

the illegals have already left in droves

this is just to remind them to apply for absentee ballots

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530124 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

And SSDI

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530116 CURWAR2012
CURWAR2012's picture

Bad direction, he looked nervous (as he should be)

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:20 | 2530117 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

After 3 years of pondering, I have concluded that president Obama is satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530125 Satan
Satan's picture

I am so deeply offended.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:41 | 2530232 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Sorry Satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:51 | 2530717 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Belly laugh.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:51 | 2530718 HellFish
HellFish's picture

Belly laugh.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:53 | 2530286 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

You owe me a keyboard, monitor and another Mountain Dew...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:04 | 2530324 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

You can have another Mountain Dew IF AND ONLY IF it has a unit measurement of less than 16 ounces.

  --Nanny Bloomberg

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:58 | 2530524 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Damn...that was the ZH equivalent of "checkmate."

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 05:59 | 2531640 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

AND ONLY you write it off as a thingmagig (or Chingamadera) costing $3,000 - otherwise, not an acceptable IRS write-off.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 11:20 | 2532058 logically possible
logically possible's picture

Satan for POTUS.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:33 | 2530189 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

If you think Obama is smart enough to be Satan, you are seeing a much different Obama than I am.

Obama works for the political guy, who works for the money guys, who work for the serious money guys, who work for the spooky guys, who work for Satan.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:56 | 2530295 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Spooky guys are the two popes, right?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 16:22 | 2530630 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

The really spooky guys are guys you have never heard of.

Powerful people are not famous.  Famous people are servants.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 04:23 | 2531590 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

i'm from that pirate ship and i'm here to help

the hierarchy of spookery:  yup the servants are spooks, the famous people are spooks and the powerful people are spooks

blame it on the bossa nova?  you'll find when you reach the top:  you're on the bottom... 

when i first landed here i was impressed by the boilerplate about the black helis and this  manifesto

clothing optional...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:35 | 2530199 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

Yes, I agree; and yet, incredibly stupid and arrogant, even while reading the teleprompter. It would seem the underworld believes all can be solved with a speechwriter and a teleprompter.

 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:22 | 2530128 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

Not to put too fine a point on this but due to our current Affirmative Action Laws, anyone who gains an authorization to work under this program in the US and is defined as minority moves to the head of the line for consideration on employment, education, etc.

While these young people are deserving of a chance to live their American dream, all minority non US citizens will more than likely be given opportunities FIRST before non minority citizens and in many cases othe minoirity citizens.

That we as a country approve this under the guise of multiculturalism is byond comprehension. Where is Congress on this issue? Where is the debate in the MSM ? Where are American born minorites on this issue?

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:58 | 2530301 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

US citizenism has done such a wonderful job that the first black US citizen president is not a guy from the black US citizen communauty but a first generation citizenship holder whose father is an African.

Success of US citizenism humanity advancement program. Even negro culture beat it.

Tells it all.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:06 | 2530338 akak
akak's picture

Please tell us again your fairy tale about how the inhabitants of Easter Island were somehow infected by your mythical "US Citizenism" not only long before they had ANY contact with the outside world, but literally centuries before the USA was even founded as a nation! I really like that one.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:29 | 2531553 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

'Americanism' is a myth. 'Americans' are a myth. They do not exist.

Easier to understand the whole stuff of conspiracy theory when US citizens are so easy in denying their own existence.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 04:28 | 2531591 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

STFU

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 06:09 | 2531650 The Navigator
The Navigator's picture

AnAnonymous

I see you can spell words, and then assemble them into sentences, but the sentences have no meaning. A dictionary is useful but it doesn't mean you can speak or write in that language.

Please seek some assistance in assembling words into meaningful sentences.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 08:46 | 2531793 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Meaning sentences?

So I cant assemble words into meaningful sentences which means or does not mean that the current sentence is a meaningful sentence.

US citizen logics. Once again.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 15:12 | 2530365 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

keep trying to piss us off and you just might accidentally do it.  Then we'll cut your food off.  And your sea lanes.  and then you, along with the whole of entire southern hemisphere excluding Oz will eat one another.

for real, ask your masters and you'll know the truth from the nervous looks on their faces.

Rong Pohk, and all that good shit.

PS, you still have those SKS's that your buddy managed to swipe from the norinco factory, right?  the ones they lost track of when the clintons put that import ban down back in the 90's and it created that big paperwork mess when the shipments got canceled. you're going to need those pretty soon I think.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 17:02 | 2530750 ffart
ffart's picture

I don't think this guy is actually chinese but whatever. He seems to have the same malthusian viewpoint as ORI, who is another troll on this board. They like to pat each other's backs too.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 18:35 | 2530939 akak
akak's picture

Oh, he/she/they is/are most definitely Chinese --- you must have missed the part where he/she/they spun the fantasy of how the Red Chinese "liberated" Tibet and "ended slavery" there.  Not to mention his/her/their kneejerk defense of every vile crime of Mousy Tongue and the Chinese Communist Party, not the least of which being the political purges and psychotic "Great Leap Forward (Into Starvation)" of the 1950s, in which Mao killed tens of millions of his own countrymen in the greatest mass murder of a population by its own leaders in recorded history.

Besides, the writing style of this freak should be a dead giveaway --- haven't you EVER been mystified by the identical garbled and cryptic prose contained within any Chinese-made product manual?

It is the mettle of the insanitation of Chinese Citizenism citizens to denialize their blobbing-up of resources and offuscation of historical facts in the fabled quest to seduce the world into sharing their People's Liberation Opium Parlor fantasies.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 01:36 | 2531473 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

 Anonymous temporarily subdued...but not by us. Nearby food vendor has special on puppy cutlets.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:39 | 2531561 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

All credible from one US citizen whose hubris is such that he thinks he can get away with denying the existence of 'Americanism'

US citizens are pampered by their government state, allowing them to dismiss the most immediate reality.

Dont wish for the state to end too strong. If it happens, you will come face to face with reality and it is too different from what you like to fancy on to make you any good.

Sun, 06/17/2012 - 23:49 | 2531548 headless blogger
headless blogger's picture

They are trolls and this one is from Toronto. They monopolize the site called InformationClearinghouse.info (ran by their American counterpart, Tom Feeley, who may be from Ireland, UK).

They comment heavily on Antiwar.com, Truthdig.com, Truthout.com, TheDailyBell.com (until they shut their comment section down), and many other sites. Goal seems to be to smear all Americans and to destroy American "White" culture. They think EVERY American is stupid, racist, and pro-war. 

Also, one of them operates the site called DangerousCreations.com

Either they are crazy fucks, or they are working for someone. They are CONSTANTLY on the internet. I read alot of the Antiwar and truth sites, and after a while you can tell who they are.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:36 | 2531559 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

He seems to have the same malthusian viewpoint as ORI,

__________________

A malthusian viewpoint? I have one?

And in what way would it differ from the malthusian viewpoint expressed by so many US citizens on this site?

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:34 | 2531556 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

keep trying to piss us off and you just might accidentally do it. Then we'll cut your food off. And your sea lanes. and then you, along with the whole of entire southern hemisphere excluding Oz will eat one another.

for real, ask your masters and you'll know the truth from the nervous looks on their faces.

Rong Pohk, and all that good shit.
_______________________________________________

Who is that we? Is a collectivistic construction similar to that US citizen We the People?

If you had any power of the kind you claim to have through collective association, you wont be lamenting your way on this site.

Better, your position in here, your loss of faith in the actuality of your membership to the US citizen gang, your whim to see a change in US citizenism other than your change in status indicates that you are going to be among people who are going to go through that kind of treatment by that 'we'

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 08:28 | 2531760 akak
akak's picture

More time-traveling algebraic coconut hobnobbing gibberish from the ragingly prejudiced anti-American Chinese Firster.

Don't you have a Middle Kingdom roadside to shit up?  There must be a few spots left uncovered  in deng by your fellow quasi-human post-puppy-gorging Chinese Citizenism citizens.

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 03:12 | 2531542 headless blogger
headless blogger's picture

TROLL

 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:23 | 2530129 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Obadictator's treason goes unchallenged again...this is how a republic dies...to thunderous silence...

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:28 | 2530159 Bob
Bob's picture

Problem is the way these so-called wedge issues divide us. For example, how does a "libertarian" object to this? 

Gays, abortion, the social contract (not that it actually exists), all this bullshit is part of the circus. 

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:24 | 2530132 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

That last question shouted out by an obviously soon to be NDAA'd journalist was so right on: "what about the american workers...?" This POS POTUS turned his back. We are doomed. He's a tin pot dictator. We are ruled by a so callled black muslim kenyan marxist.

Fri, 06/15/2012 - 14:30 | 2530170 Bob
Bob's picture

Actually, you were on a roll there, but in order to legitimately invoke the concept of "so-called," you would necessarily be alluding to a reasonably credible authority for the charge that he's a "black muslim kenyan marxist." 

Nuff said. 

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