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Obama Better Prepared To Handle Alien Invasion, Poll Finds
The two presidential candidates may be neck and neck in most (un)popularity polls, and according to some metaphorical sources are even the same person just with different Wall Street backers, but when it comes to the critical topic of resisting an alien invasion, Obama is far better prepared, according to two thirds of the population.
From Politico:
Americans may be split on which presidential candidate can fix the economy, but President Barack Obama trounces Mitt Romney in one out-of-this-world scenario — an alien invasion. The majority of Americans, nearly 65 percent, say Obama is better suited than Romney to handle an alien invasion, according to a new National Geographic Channel poll, USA Today reports.
The survey, conducted to promote “Chasing UFOs,” a TV series premiering Friday, also found that almost eight in 10 people, 79 percent, believe the government has kept information about UFOs a secret from the public. In addition, 55 percent believe agents similar to those played by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in the film “Men in Black” — their mission is to hide information about extraterrestrial beings — actually exist.
Meanwhile, more than a third of Americans, 36 percent, believe UFOs exist.
Now there is a discoonect here: as most readers know very well, Keynesian Plan Z for America is to fold like a lawn chair when ET starts shooting, and to have the planet literally leveled and all "windows broken", with the resulting surge in GDP leading the world to a new Golden Age. Sadly for the high priest of Keynsianomics, Paul Krugman, this plan would require a president who is willing to immediately wave the white flag when faced with a UFO invasion.
If Obama indeed is capable of repelling an armada of little green men, then the world truly is doomed.
Then again, there really is no need to worry.
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21% of people believe the government has NOT kept UFO information from the public?
What the hell are they smoking?
Oh, so he is qualified to do something other than fuck up. My bad.
Yet again America has been given the people they must vote for , wow this system is so cool ,well only if you are the ruling 1% as for the rest of you get back to work we need more of your money so we can keep killing people. Not paying taxes is un-patriotic don't you know.
So lemme get this straight. A mulatto is better prepared than a white man (or woman, I hope as it would otherwise be discriminatory) to stop an alien invasion of greens, grey or multicolored aliens but not the brown or yellow ones that don't have green cards even though the green ones won't have any cards so better not be stopped in Arizona which would require Indian red stop signs assuming that's the intergalactic color for stop, when in fact a silvery white or blue is most often associated with absolute zero when everything stops unless its within the mahogany colored halls of our multi-colored diverse congress where all things serious have stopped dead for years, often best portrayed by an opossum lying on its side, them generally being colored of white black and brown therefore the perfect national symbol of our increasingly paralyzed multicultural society except it once again limits the celebration of multicultural colors, leaving out yellow and red as well as green and gray.
Pish posh...everyone knows he's more qualified than anyone as the self anointed deity of the Intergalactic Rainbow Clan of Unicorn Riders.
Forward!!! Yes We Con!!!
Obama, the Alien Killer, coming to a Magic Johnoson Theater near you this summer.
Wow. Morgan Freeman made an even bigger impact than the asteroid in Deep Impact.
Hell, he will just solve the invasion problem by giving all the little ET’s section 8 housing vouchers, student loans, a free cell phone and an EBT. ..
in exchange for their (no picture I.D. required) vote.
wtf is the deal with all these alien themes in the msm?
maybe I should go research the Nummo and how queen elizabeth's ancestors were reptoids.
Look, here's the deal.
The whole thesis upon which the west's ever expanding government is based has to do with the necessity to coordinate ever increasing scarce input factors, land labor and capital under the aegis of governmental control... for which there is a need for an enemy or threat.
Swine flu
Any flu
Climate change
Water scarcity
Air pollution
Food security
Energy independence
Wars on drugs
War on poverty
War on turror
Keep on thinkin'
war against alien invasions, asteroid strikes, etc, etc, etc.
Why you think that the Un appointed some bimbo from Sri Lanka or wherethefuckever as the Planet's Ambassador and Contact Person for Alien Intervention?
True.
Remember?
Consolidation of land labor and capital me bucko, out of your pocket and into the politicians and their financial enablers.
Go figure.
Simple as pie...that you get to bake and they eat.
does she at least spread her legs when a guy enters the room??
does she at least spread her legs when a guy enters the room??
Wernher von Braun, the Nazi godfather of the rocket engine, was concerned about Western powers using a staged alien invasion as the ultimate external threat. After the US brought him into the country under project paper-clip, von Braun integrated himself deeply within the Military Industrial Complex. He understood the whole construct and use of an external threat as a tool for societal mobolizing and justification for military spending. He warned against this ultimate false flag plan should it ever be taken off the shelf and implemented.
The documentation for this is found within the very credible "Disclosure Project," run by Dr. Steven Greer. Sounds crazy, I know... But this is indeed documented history and our "leaders" think of all sorts of things to keep the sheeple inline. So, even if you don't believe in little green men, it shouldn't be much of a stretch for all here to understand contingency planning like this actually isn't that unconventional.
I had not realised than any American believed there was intelligent life beyond the borders of the US. But, as an aside, which part of "Illegal alien" is it that Obama doesn't understand? If he just wants to open the borders to let anyone enter, can be please advise the INS to stop fucking genuine visitors around over Visas. It seems the easiest way to enter the US is either to walk from Mexico or drive from Canada. Eh?
Many Americans believe there is no intelligent life IN THIS country.
A study was recently concluded which proved that most people who believe in UFOs are also prone to believing in religious fairy tales.
Given that most UFO sightings are in Florida, Texas and Pennsylvania and these three states are densely populated with conservative redneck hillbillies who cling to guns and bibles, I think the correlation seems accurate.
Related to that, did you know the number of churches in Texas and Florida far outweighs the number of dentists? Like 10:1. Whereas in NY, there are far more dentists than churches.
MF
Let's talk SAT scores by state, shall we? (2009)
New York: 46th, 1466
Rednecks from OK: 12th, 1703
Your ignorance knows no bounds.
Sorry Sir, but your numbers are just full of shit.
The participation rate in Oklahoma was 5%. The participation rate in NY was 85%.
This means that only 5% of students in Oklahoma even THOUGHT about going to college. Do you think this might skew the numbers?
*LOL*
DumbDumb hillbillies.
MF
http://www.gsci.org/home/sat-scores.jsp
This guy has some questions;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y2KsU_dhwI
After you get done with those, this guy has some more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szBTl3S24MY
The ACT participation rate in OK is 73%. The ACT is more popular and used by more colleges in the South and Southwest.
But my Dear, dear Max. A great many of your very own talking points are straight from the echo chambers of the prog masters. Quoting each other in a closed circuit and calling it wisdom, as if chanting lends validity to the ivory towers.
This God you mock speaks explicitly in Matthew 6 about repetition. It is for the unadaptible and weak of mind. Mental masturbation, giving only self pleasure, you servile little idiot of a man.
Max Fischer - Bearded Bagpipe Virtuoso
Could you please provide a link where the pro-Hitler echo chamber discusses SAT score participation rates?
Ivory towers? Speaking of that, what is with the right-wing's disdain for higher education? I've never been able to figure that one out?It's like you hillbillies prize ignorance, Rick Perrry-Michele Bachmann-Rick Santorum-style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkjbJOSwq3A
HILLBILLY POWER!
MF
A guy at work told me his son's girlfriend, a Canadian, was stopped at the border and denied entry because she had too many household goods in her car.
I bumbed ya just for the run-on. Nice work.
wouldnt obama just let the aliens become US citizens?
and add them to his voting base i assume
provide them with healthcare and an education
zeta reticulans for the "O"
He would appease them by bowing to their commanding officer.
Then Michelle will give them a nice big bear hug like she did the queen!
Then tell them that they will be dealing with her:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/images/2008/07/18/hillaryclin...
That scenario is assuming the aliens don't land in Mexico and invade the US from the South. In that case, we would be screwed.
so we are not talking about foreign nationals, but beings from out there?
Wait, beings from out there are also "foreign".
Hummmmmmmmmmm.
.....provided they met the age / residency "test"
When you have an article like this, I just knew WilliamBanzai7 was near by. Activate Satire Rays!!!
Would this be predictive programming for the holographic (ie. fake) alien invasion that is part of Project Bluebeam and planned to begin at the London 2012 Olympics?.. from Tyler?
I can't think of a more useless poll statistic. What's next who would make a more attractice Zombie?
they had to come with something that Obummer would poll better in
Well, today a Quinnipiac phone poll showed that 53% of Martians would vote for Obama, while only 44% would vote for Romney. Interestingly, Venusians whose brain hemispheres are capable of independent thought, responded 64% positive for Obama and 58% positive for Romney. Calls to the Jovian sattellites were not answered due to the 14 Earth-year-long Jupiter Independence celebration.
Edit: grammar
What's he gonna do, baffle them with bullshit??
Oh, I got it. He's going to declare them to be citizens of the US.
He'll give them the same deal as the aliens from South of the border. Dream act, SNAP, Section 8, Medicaid, etc.
But then, so would Mitt, so that's a wash...
He wouldn't repel them.
He would declare them as qualified voters and sign them up.
If they had any kids, they would be "landed immigrants".
Well... I imagine one look at Obama would scare away more than half of the aliens.
Maybe they wouldn't be coming to invade us... maybe they'll just show up with some high tech detoxing equipment and clean up our new Great Glow Spot. They'll mop it up, say, "there, fixed that for ya", and hop back in their warp drive carriage.
Hopefully Aliens will wipe out the banksters.
Now how the hell do they figure that?,he just granted temp citizen status to 800k aliens./sarc
The aliens would probably ask what the purpose of bankers is to determine if they were worth keeping around. This could actually work out well.
There's a lot of good eatin' on a full grown banker.
The aliens have a great investment vehicle in dylithium crystal futures.
The aliens ARE the bankers.
And they are headquartered at the Federal Reserve with their congressional concubines.
It only makes sense... Obama would view them as a new illegal voter base.
Everything would look prety good until the IRS showed up.... Then Obummer would crash. Those little aliens can hide on Uranus but they will pay their damn taxes.
DAMNIT MY EYES MY EYES
http://eyebleach.com/
While cool, and impactful, those morphed photos are very disturbing...
use of the non-word 'impactful' is irksome
Use of the word irksome is impactful!
Yes... Aliens.... That... Is so... Important... Right now...
Jim Willie has a new piece out today..........
I hope it has aliens in it. I LOVE Jim Willie.
Of course -- they are the only ones with a solvent central bank.
He would just amnesty them.
He IS an alien (Illegal)...........
Yes indeed a common ground, empathy of a shared Great American Experience.
I think with this one, I can safely say that America is over.
Done.
Finis.
Kaput.
Not the results, but the fact someone got paid to actually ask other people these questions, and it was NOT for comedy.
pods
Come on, another person less in the soup line, ain't that bad.
Agreed pods. Yikes.
Yeah, but the defining issue will more likely be how well each candidate could handle the zombie apocalypse. Much more likely...and the evidence is building on this count.
Better than mittens (who is an[sic] lizard alien imo), that's for sure. [/sarc.]
50% of the aliens would just end up on food stamps, welfare and disability, rolled in with the much desired wards of the state the status quo has already created.. once the majority is dependent, the machine runs in perpetuity.
District 9?
Chicago methinks.....
Agreed... I thought D9 was Sci-fi. The movie was a carefully crafted possible future outcome... my Bad.
Wish I had a pHd in eCONomics.... or nobel peace prize for that matter.... if only I could understand all this :(
They're both too late.....Moonbeam settled in California long time ago.
Aren't Aliens here already ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=020Wgbw-PcU&feature=related
WTF with all the bright lights since what the 50's?.... I would have thought by this time these Alien dudes would at least have some kind of "Stealth" shit.... gonna be real hard to loose the upcoming battle and create the GDP surge ... someone email Krugman and the BIG O.
I still think building 'A Death Star to call our Own" is less risky, more patriotic and frankly more viable.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/modest-proposal-boost-us-gdp-852-quadrilli...
Project Bluebeam on deck.
he IS an alien...thats why.
The Disclosure Project
The Disclosure Project is a nonprofit research project working to fully disclose the facts about UFOs, extraterrestrial intelligence, and classified advanced energy and propulsion systems. We have over 500 government, military, and intelligence community witnesses testifying to their direct, personal, first hand experience with UFOs, ETs, ET technology, and the cover-up that keeps this information secret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vyVe-6YdUk
http://www.disclosureproject.org/index.shtml
yep free healthcare ebt cards cell phones, for his new friends. then a new trail of tears like the cherokee. oh i forgot thats already started
is this because the alien won't accept USD bribery from Romney?
Do the aliens need a bailout too?
It's about time we get serious. Forget QE for earth. We need to bailout the universe. On second thought, we might as just go for it all. Has anyone asked God if he needs a bailout yet?
Get Joe Biden on this Alien thing
Yeah, that'll be good for a laugh. BTW, how's that middle class task force thing-a-majig coming along, anyway?
Why would anyone want to resist an alien invasion? Poor Mexicans..everyone's against them...
Obama's not doing shit about the illegal aliens already! How could Romney possibly do any worse?
Careful. That's exactly what the Sioux were saying about Sitting Bull's handling of the onslaught of illegal immigrants.
And then, whammo, The Bull stops Sitting and George Custer's team is eliminated in a Best of One turkey shoot.
I cannot believe anyone actually asked this question. This is where we are as a country. Welcome to the shitter.
I do not like Obama. I hope he loses.
It would great if 'none of the above' could win as a write-in. I would be very interested to see what would happen if America just opted to go without a president for four years.
I HATE that Obama fucker, but as much as I hope he loses, I also dislike Romney and hope he doesn't win, too. Heh.
I guess the good news is, the decision was probably already made. I don't see any reason to believe that voting is a factor in our "elections" here in the USA.
You guys should watch this old British movie called Threads.
Infrastructure of industrial society is very fragile.
A few well-placed bombs here and there can put any country on its knees.
The more developed a country is, more it would suffer.
But I digress. Why there are people still believing in UFOs? If faster-than-light-speed travel was possible, aliens would be already here saving our economy with their tourism money.
Of course, it is possible that the Mogambo Guru is for real, and they are not coming here because of our fiat money.
Maybe the Aliens have already been here and fucking saw how useless and fucking stupid we all are. Who the fuck wants to invade a planet full of fucktards....
... and loaded to the gills with debt.
Maybe the aliens will come here and buy our debt.
... and a Great Glow Spot!
Thanks for posting the link! ;-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MCbTvoNrAg
What makes you think aliens who have mastered faster-than-light travel would use money?
Duplicate deleted.
Is everyone forgetting just how fucking stupid people are to even answer this pole? That's why our leaders get away with what they do. They actually have people(as in the population) discussing this bullshit seriously. I'm not so close-minded as not to believe in aliens(and if they were anything like earthlings they'd def be hostile) but there's a 99.999999999999999999999999%..... chance that the biggest threat to humanity are the fuckheads running the country and their idiot friends like the ones that made this survey.
Any of you sitting here arguing about an alien invasion need to pull your heads out of your fucking asses this is a complete slap in the face of how stupid the people around you are.
preach it! I hate a bad "pole" too.
What have you got against Poland?
The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter - Winston Churchill
Fat fascist fux like churchill make me glad that everyone dies eventually.
First thing the aliens say: "Take us to your liter!"
Just our luck to be 'vaded by alky aliens...
I guess maybe this explains Krugman's call for an alien invasion to save the economy? Or am I reading to much into it? Shit, were's my tin foil hat?
Thanks to the wonders of today's technology, we can now find out what the offspring of Obama and Romney may look like. Yikes!
That picture is mesmerizing, in a disturbing way.
It's like the combination of two non-souls. -1 + -1 on an ethereal plain.
...has Mona Lisa's aura about it....
Young Mittbarry.
Could we then please-Plz-see what Hilary and Janet Nap might sire?
Shouldn't you include a female?
"Prepared to handle an alien invasion"???
Yeah, he's prepared all right, to swell the ranks of Democratic voters. Why don't you ask Arizona about that.
Well, according to former SS Major Werner von Braun shortly before he died from cancer, the final card which TPTB will play for a world fascist lock down will be a false flag alien invasion. Krugman is just sending up a trial balloon.
Krugman was just tired of making collect calls to relatives.
As long as they "like" us on FB, we'll be okay. LOL
not sure why, but for some reason this all reminds me how badly katie perry is cravin janus.
i'm very interested in probing her positions on markets and whatnot...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM
janus has poison a-plenty, sugar.
PS, katie: janus has been told, and more than once, that he's in possession of a majik member -- or maybe it's the other way round.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDwKuYWVMvo
here's ole janus gettin ready to head to da big-city...but i suspect the ending will be a bit different.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bnhgk1rWCH4
...only the echos of my mind,
janus
I am a documented alien invader into Mexico. Hope they don't kick me out across their northern border.
MY GAWD! WILL THE CRAP STORM NEVER END??? (GLUG, GLUG)
Aliens are supposed to buy the 12,000,000 shadow inventory I thought?! They come in peace to buy the millions and millions of vacant wooden boxes.......
Uranusites are our friends, right?
100% of the people who give answers on National Geographic Channel polls apparently have shit for brains.
What is this "National Geographic Channel" that you write about? Where is it found? Who watches such? We also have the concept of "shit" and "brains". However, we never mingle the two, since our Creator separated the two by at least 1/2 of our body length and protect the "brains" from direct contact with the unfortunate environment.
- Ned
{But, we have not solved the question of our Creator's intention to put the playground in close proximity to the cloaca. We wish to inquire if your Civilization has made any progress in resolving this unfortunate (for some) situation.}
{{Not that we feel any judgement in the wrongness of that.}}
Obama looks like Ricardo Montalban in that picture.
"The plane, boss! The Plane!" LOL ;-0
his preferred type of M&Ms
actually, he looks white.
they must have phot shopped the american flag pin onto his lapel.
And now, Tattoo, for a little Fantasy of my own...
In the Finest Corinthian Leather.
oh no, Boss!
Doesn't Romney's religion believe in spirit babies that came down from another planet? So... wouldn't he be the expert? Why not ask him in a news conference.
>Doesn't Romney's religion believe in spirit babies that came down from another planet?
That's what the golden plates say when read through the seeing-eye stone.
Unfortunately, the plates were lost. Maybe you can ask a combustible shrubbery instead.
not planets but celestial levels, sort of like the degrees of Heaven and Hell in Buddhism or Hinduism. I believe this concept existed in the original versions of the bible but was purged, with the notable exception of Satan being cast out of heaven to other realms. If I remember my comparative religion class well.
No, not of the 'Bible', but of early Christian texts. That's the influence of Neoplatonism. Many other instances of its influence were not purged from what became Catholicism.
Obama and the aliens? Takes one to know one.
That's a clown question, bro.
How do you resist an alien invasion?
And who is that picture of?
Is there a third socialist candidate I haven't heard of yet?
No, it's the only candidate.
Who’s ever heard of this polling group, anyway? And it’s on Politico! ZH put this on as a joke; instead of Friday humor, we have Wednesday humor.
The problem is, when the alien arrives and says, Take me to your leader, the response will be:"We have no leader."
>when the alien arrives and says, Take me to your leader
If the aliens are more advanced than human beings, they will realize that each individual is sovereign.
The sovereignty issue reminds me of the Opus cartoon when as an immigrant he was headed for Bloom County to be questioned in a giant auditorium filled with clerks at their desks. Across an entire wall of the room ran a narrow little sign that read: “Welcome immigrants.” Underneath ran a huge sign in bold 10-foot letters in red that gave the real welcome: NO SMOKING!
If aliens invaded, then I'd hope an angry badger will come forth to defend us.
Obama and his DHS have already said they are going to ignore calls about aliens. That's how they'll handle it.
Oh, those aliens.
So now we know where he was really born...
America has become caricature.
Art Bell could not be contacted for comment.
Great story to distract people from noticing the biggest fraud in history. As long as 99% of the population believe that banks lend the money other people deposit, everything is OK. Let's spin the aliens-exist-but-government-did-not-tell-us-yet-story 24/7 on all channels.
If the aliens agree to buy US Treasuries, then do we let them in?
What they are paying with? Starbucks?
What if the Rothschilds sell the aliens the Fed, and then they just print to buy the treasuries?
They did
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9005367754264973286
glad to hear the useful idiots are asking the right questions.
chilling photoshop job. i'm stealing it. who can i give credit to?
Obama is going to lose against the Romnulens.