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Obama Better Prepared To Handle Alien Invasion, Poll Finds

Tyler Durden's picture


The two presidential candidates may be neck and neck in most (un)popularity polls, and according to some metaphorical sources are even the same person just with different Wall Street backers, but when it comes to the critical topic of resisting an alien invasion, Obama is far better prepared, according to two thirds of the population.

From Politico:

Americans may be split on which presidential candidate can fix the economy, but President Barack Obama trounces Mitt Romney in one out-of-this-world scenario — an alien invasion. The majority of Americans, nearly 65 percent, say Obama is better suited than Romney to handle an alien invasion, according to a new National Geographic Channel poll, USA Today reports.


The survey, conducted to promote “Chasing UFOs,” a TV series premiering Friday, also found that almost eight in 10 people, 79 percent, believe the government has kept information about UFOs a secret from the public. In addition, 55 percent believe agents similar to those played by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in the film “Men in Black” — their mission is to hide information about extraterrestrial beings — actually exist.


Meanwhile, more than a third of Americans, 36 percent, believe UFOs exist.

Now there is a discoonect here: as most readers know very well, Keynesian Plan Z for America is to fold like a lawn chair when ET starts shooting, and to have the planet literally leveled and all "windows broken", with the resulting surge in GDP leading the world to a new Golden Age. Sadly for the high priest of Keynsianomics, Paul Krugman, this plan would require a president who is willing to immediately wave the white flag when faced with a UFO invasion.

If Obama indeed is capable of repelling an armada of little green men, then the world truly is doomed.

Then again, there really is no need to worry.


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Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:44 | 2566323 Aziz
Aziz's picture

21% of people believe the government has NOT kept UFO information from the public?

What the hell are they smoking? 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:56 | 2566379 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

Oh, so he is qualified to do something other than fuck up. My bad.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:24 | 2566481 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

Yet again America has been  given the people they must vote for , wow this system is so cool ,well only if you are the ruling 1% as for the rest of you get back to work we need more of your money so we can keep killing people. Not paying taxes is un-patriotic don't you know.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:17 | 2566785 knukles
knukles's picture

So lemme get this straight.  A mulatto is better prepared than a white man (or woman, I hope as it would otherwise be discriminatory) to stop an alien invasion of greens, grey or multicolored aliens but not the brown or yellow ones that don't have green cards even though the green ones won't have any cards so better not be stopped in Arizona which would require Indian red stop signs assuming that's the intergalactic color for stop, when in fact a silvery white or blue is most often associated with absolute zero when everything stops unless its within the mahogany colored halls of our multi-colored diverse congress where all things serious have stopped dead for years, often best portrayed by an opossum lying on its side,  them generally being colored of white black and brown therefore the perfect national symbol of our increasingly paralyzed multicultural society except it once again limits the celebration of multicultural colors, leaving out yellow and red as well as green and gray.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:38 | 2566837 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Pish posh...everyone knows he's more qualified than anyone as the self anointed deity of the Intergalactic Rainbow Clan of Unicorn Riders.

Forward!!! Yes We Con!!!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:35 | 2566962 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Obama, the Alien Killer, coming to a Magic Johnoson Theater near you this summer.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 21:40 | 2567093 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



Wow.  Morgan Freeman made an even bigger impact than the asteroid in Deep Impact.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 22:05 | 2567123 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Hell, he will just solve the invasion problem by giving all the little ET’s section 8 housing vouchers, student loans, a free cell phone and an EBT. ..

in exchange for their (no picture I.D. required) vote. 

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 22:30 | 2567174 Western
Western's picture

wtf is the deal with all these alien themes in the msm?


maybe I should go research the Nummo and how queen elizabeth's ancestors were reptoids.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 22:56 | 2567226 knukles
knukles's picture

Look, here's the deal.
The whole thesis upon which the west's ever expanding government is based has to do with the necessity to coordinate ever increasing scarce input factors, land labor and capital under the aegis of governmental control... for which there is a need for an enemy or threat.

Swine flu
Any flu
Climate change
Water scarcity
Air pollution
Food security
Energy independence
Wars on drugs
War on poverty
War on turror


Keep on thinkin'

war against alien invasions, asteroid strikes, etc, etc, etc.
Why you think that the Un appointed some bimbo from Sri Lanka or wherethefuckever as the Planet's Ambassador and Contact Person for Alien Intervention?

Consolidation of land labor and capital me bucko, out of your pocket and into the politicians and their financial enablers.

Go figure.

Simple as pie...that you get to bake and they eat.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 04:12 | 2567546 Shazam342
Shazam342's picture

does she at least spread her legs when a guy enters the room??

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 04:12 | 2567547 Shazam342
Shazam342's picture

does she at least spread her legs when a guy enters the room??

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:33 | 2568018 Flying Wombat
Flying Wombat's picture

Wernher von Braun, the Nazi godfather of the rocket engine, was concerned about Western powers using a staged alien invasion as the ultimate external threat.  After the US brought him into the country under project paper-clip, von Braun integrated himself deeply within the Military Industrial Complex.  He understood the whole construct and use of an external threat as a tool for societal mobolizing and justification for military spending.   He warned against this ultimate false flag plan should it ever be taken off the shelf and implemented. 

The documentation for this is found within the very credible "Disclosure Project," run by Dr. Steven Greer.  Sounds crazy, I know...  But this is indeed documented history and our "leaders" think of all sorts of things to keep the sheeple inline.  So, even if you don't believe in little green men, it shouldn't be much of a stretch for all here to understand contingency planning like this actually isn't that unconventional.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 21:42 | 2567099 philipat
philipat's picture

I had not realised than any American believed there was intelligent life beyond the borders of the US. But, as an aside, which part of "Illegal alien" is it that Obama doesn't understand? If he just wants to open the borders to let anyone enter, can be please advise the INS to stop fucking genuine visitors around over Visas. It seems the easiest way to enter the US is either to walk from Mexico or drive from Canada. Eh?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:14 | 2567258 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

Many Americans believe there is no intelligent life IN THIS country. 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 04:14 | 2567548 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



A study was recently concluded which proved that most people who believe in UFOs are also prone to believing in religious fairy tales.

Given that most UFO sightings are in Florida, Texas and Pennsylvania and these three states are densely populated with conservative redneck hillbillies who cling to guns and bibles, I think the correlation seems accurate. 

Related to that, did you know the number of churches in Texas and Florida far outweighs the number of dentists?  Like 10:1. Whereas in NY, there are far more dentists than churches.    


Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:02 | 2567925 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

Let's talk SAT scores by state, shall we? (2009)


New York: 46th, 1466

Rednecks from OK: 12th, 1703

Your ignorance knows no bounds.


Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:12 | 2567969 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



Sorry Sir, but your numbers are just full of shit.

The participation rate in Oklahoma was 5%.  The participation rate in NY was 85%.  

This means that only 5% of students in Oklahoma even THOUGHT about going to college.  Do you think this might skew the numbers?


DumbDumb hillbillies. 


Thu, 06/28/2012 - 10:00 | 2568139 Revert_Back_to_...
Revert_Back_to_1792_Act's picture

This guy has some questions;

After you get done with those, this guy has some more.



Thu, 06/28/2012 - 10:01 | 2568171 Sancho Ponzi
Sancho Ponzi's picture

The ACT participation rate in OK is 73%. The ACT is more popular and used by more colleges in the South and Southwest. 

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:09 | 2567960 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

But my Dear, dear Max. A great many of your very own talking points are straight from the echo chambers of the prog masters.  Quoting each other in a closed circuit and calling it wisdom, as if chanting lends validity to the ivory towers.

This God you mock speaks explicitly in Matthew 6 about repetition.  It is for the unadaptible and weak of mind.  Mental masturbation, giving only self pleasure, you servile little idiot of a man.

Max Fischer - Bearded Bagpipe Virtuoso

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:21 | 2567998 Max Fischer
Max Fischer's picture



Could you please provide a link where the pro-Hitler echo chamber discusses SAT score participation rates?

Ivory towers?  Speaking of that, what is with the right-wing's disdain for higher education?  I've never been able to figure that one out?It's like you hillbillies prize ignorance, Rick Perrry-Michele Bachmann-Rick Santorum-style.



Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:42 | 2567488 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

A guy at work told me his son's girlfriend, a Canadian, was stopped at the border and denied entry because she had too many household goods in her car.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:34 | 2567299 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

I bumbed ya just for the run-on. Nice work.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 08:12 | 2567800 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

wouldnt obama just let the aliens become US citizens?
and add them to his voting base i assume
provide them with healthcare and an education

zeta reticulans for the "O"

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:11 | 2566765 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

He would appease them by bowing to their commanding officer.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:18 | 2567271 Lucky Guesst
Lucky Guesst's picture

Then Michelle will give them a nice big bear hug like she did the queen!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:20 | 2567275 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

Then tell them that they will be dealing with her:

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:10 | 2566613 ACP
ACP's picture

That scenario is assuming the aliens don't land in Mexico and invade the US from the South. In that case, we would be screwed.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:42 | 2566698 old naughty
old naughty's picture

so we are not talking about foreign nationals, but beings from out there?

Wait, beings from out there are also "foreign".


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:14 | 2566777 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

.....provided they met the age / residency "test"

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:06 | 2566889 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Thu, 06/28/2012 - 04:15 | 2567549 Shazam342
Shazam342's picture

When you have an article like this, I just knew WilliamBanzai7 was near by. Activate Satire Rays!!!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 05:17 | 2567566 Hermann
Hermann's picture

Would this be predictive programming for the holographic (ie. fake) alien invasion that is part of Project Bluebeam and planned to begin at the London 2012 Olympics?..  from Tyler?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:44 | 2566327 Rearranging Dec...
Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

I can't think of a more useless poll statistic. What's next who would make a more attractice Zombie?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:54 | 2566373 Comay Mierda
Comay Mierda's picture

they had to come with something that Obummer would poll better in

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:44 | 2566443 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Well, today a Quinnipiac phone poll showed that 53% of Martians would vote for Obama, while only 44% would vote for Romney. Interestingly, Venusians whose brain hemispheres are capable of independent thought, responded 64% positive for Obama and 58% positive for Romney. Calls to the Jovian sattellites were not answered due to the 14 Earth-year-long Jupiter Independence celebration.

Edit: grammar

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566377 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

What's he gonna do, baffle them with bullshit??


Oh, I got it.  He's going to declare them to be citizens of the US.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:49 | 2566458 toady
toady's picture

He'll give them the same deal as the aliens from South of the border. Dream act, SNAP, Section 8, Medicaid, etc.

But then, so would Mitt, so that's a wash...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:45 | 2566331 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

He wouldn't repel them.

He would declare them as qualified voters and sign them up.

If they had any kids, they would be "landed immigrants".

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:45 | 2566333 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Well... I imagine one look at Obama would scare away more than half of the aliens.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 00:18 | 2567368 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Maybe they wouldn't be coming to invade us... maybe they'll just show up with some high tech detoxing equipment and clean up our new Great Glow Spot.  They'll mop it up, say, "there, fixed that for ya", and hop back in their warp drive carriage.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:47 | 2566334 EZYJET PILOT
EZYJET PILOT's picture

Hopefully Aliens will wipe out the banksters.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566384 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Now how the hell do they figure that?,he just granted temp citizen status to 800k aliens./sarc

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:34 | 2566955 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

The aliens would probably ask what the purpose of bankers is to determine if they were worth keeping around.  This could actually work out well.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 19:30 | 2571541 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

There's a lot of good eatin' on a full grown banker.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:02 | 2566403 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

The aliens have a great investment vehicle in dylithium crystal futures.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:26 | 2566487 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

The aliens ARE the bankers.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 21:01 | 2567005 fleur de lis
fleur de lis's picture

And they are headquartered at the Federal Reserve with their congressional concubines.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:46 | 2566336 ifishivote
ifishivote's picture

It only makes sense... Obama would view them as a new illegal voter base.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:29 | 2566655 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

Everything would look prety good until the IRS showed up.... Then Obummer would crash. Those little aliens can hide on Uranus but they will pay their damn taxes.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:47 | 2566339 CloseToTheEdge
CloseToTheEdge's picture


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566383 Rahm
Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:48 | 2566343 Irksome
Irksome's picture

While cool, and impactful, those morphed photos are very disturbing...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:52 | 2566362 TriggerFinger
TriggerFinger's picture

use of the non-word 'impactful' is irksome

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:21 | 2566470 atomicwasted
atomicwasted's picture

Use of the word irksome is impactful!


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:45 | 2567318 KowPie
KowPie's picture
im·pact·ful/im?paktf?l/ Adjective: Having a major impact or effect: "an eye-catching and impactful design".
Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:49 | 2566346 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Yes... Aliens.... That... Is so... Important... Right now...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:50 | 2566356 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Jim Willie has a new piece out today..........

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:33 | 2566950 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

I hope it has aliens in it. I LOVE Jim Willie.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:07 | 2566425 Tirpitz
Tirpitz's picture

Of course -- they are the only ones with a solvent central bank.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:49 | 2566350 Godot
Godot's picture

He would just amnesty them.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:49 | 2566351 Translational Lift
Translational Lift's picture

He IS an alien (Illegal)...........

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:24 | 2566808 knukles
knukles's picture

Yes indeed a common ground, empathy of a shared Great American Experience.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:50 | 2566354 pods
pods's picture

I think with this one, I can safely say that America is over.




Not the results, but the fact someone got paid to actually ask other people these questions, and it was NOT for comedy.


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:09 | 2566432 Tirpitz
Tirpitz's picture

Come on, another person less in the soup line, ain't that bad.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:34 | 2566514 Diet Coke and F...
Diet Coke and Floozies's picture

Agreed pods. Yikes.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:51 | 2566358 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Yeah, but the defining issue will more likely be how well each candidate could handle the zombie apocalypse.  Much more likely...and the evidence is building on this count.


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:53 | 2566361 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Better than mittens (who is an[sic] lizard alien imo), that's for sure. [/sarc.]

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:54 | 2566369 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

50% of the aliens would just end up on food stamps, welfare and disability,  rolled in with the much desired wards of the state the status quo has already created.. once the majority is dependent, the machine runs in perpetuity.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:21 | 2566469 toady
toady's picture

District 9?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 21:01 | 2567016 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

Chicago methinks.....

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:47 | 2567491 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Agreed... I thought D9 was Sci-fi. The movie was a carefully crafted possible future outcome... my Bad.

Wish I had a pHd in eCONomics.... or nobel peace prize for that matter.... if only I could understand all this :(

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:54 | 2566372 Rainman
Rainman's picture

They're both too late.....Moonbeam settled in California long time ago.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:55 | 2566378 Zola
Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:58 | 2567500 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

WTF with all the bright lights since what the 50's?.... I would have thought by this time these Alien dudes would at least have some kind of "Stealth" shit.... gonna be real hard to loose the upcoming battle and create the GDP surge ... someone email Krugman and the BIG O.

I still think building 'A Death Star to call our Own" is less risky, more patriotic and frankly more viable.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:56 | 2566380 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

Project Bluebeam on deck.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566382 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

he IS an alien...thats why.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566385 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The Disclosure Project

The Disclosure Project is a nonprofit research project working to fully disclose the facts about UFOs, extraterrestrial intelligence, and classified advanced energy and propulsion systems. We have over 500 government, military, and intelligence community witnesses testifying to their direct, personal, first hand experience with UFOs, ETs, ET technology, and the cover-up that keeps this information secret


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:57 | 2566387 stant
stant's picture

yep free healthcare ebt cards cell phones, for his new friends. then a new trail of tears like the cherokee. oh i forgot thats already started

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 16:59 | 2566391 zebra
zebra's picture

is this because the alien won't accept USD bribery from Romney?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:01 | 2566394 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Do the aliens need a bailout too?

It's about time we get serious. Forget QE for earth. We need to bailout the universe. On second thought, we might as just go for it all. Has anyone asked God if he needs a bailout yet?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:00 | 2566395 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Get Joe Biden on this Alien thing

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:32 | 2566507 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Yeah, that'll be good for a laugh. BTW, how's that middle class task force thing-a-majig coming along, anyway?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:00 | 2566398 El Tuco
El Tuco's picture

Why would anyone want to resist an alien invasion? Poor Mexicans..everyone's against them...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:01 | 2566401 Harrison
Harrison's picture

Obama's not doing shit about the illegal aliens already! How could Romney possibly do any worse?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:21 | 2566925 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Careful. That's exactly what the Sioux were saying about Sitting Bull's handling of the onslaught of illegal immigrants.

And then, whammo, The Bull stops Sitting and George Custer's team is eliminated in a Best of One turkey shoot.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:04 | 2566415 surf0766
surf0766's picture

I cannot believe anyone actually asked this question. This is where we are as a country. Welcome to the shitter.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:04 | 2566418 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I do not like Obama.  I hope he loses.  

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 00:37 | 2567389 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

It would great if 'none of the above' could win as a write-in.  I would be very interested to see what would happen if America just opted to go without a president for four years.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 15:15 | 2570402 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I HATE that Obama fucker, but as much as I hope he loses, I also dislike Romney and hope he doesn't win, too.  Heh.

I guess the good news is, the decision was probably already made.  I don't see any reason to believe that voting is a factor in our "elections" here in the USA.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:05 | 2566419 Broomer
Broomer's picture

You guys should watch this old British movie called Threads.

Infrastructure of industrial society is very fragile.

A few well-placed bombs here and there can put any country on its knees.

The more developed a country is, more it would suffer.

But I digress. Why there are people still believing in UFOs? If faster-than-light-speed travel was possible, aliens would be already here saving our economy with their tourism money.

Of course, it is possible that the Mogambo Guru is for real, and they are not coming here because of our fiat money.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:07 | 2566426 El Tuco
El Tuco's picture

Maybe the Aliens have already been here and fucking saw how useless and fucking stupid we all are. Who the fuck wants to invade a planet full of fucktards....

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:16 | 2566453 Tirpitz
Tirpitz's picture

... and loaded to the gills with debt.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:18 | 2566913 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Maybe the aliens will come here and buy our debt.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 00:39 | 2567392 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

... and a Great Glow Spot!

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:40 | 2567485 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Thanks for posting the link!  ;-)

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 04:56 | 2567567 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

What makes you think aliens who have mastered faster-than-light travel would use money?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:29 | 2566420 Broomer
Broomer's picture

Duplicate deleted.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:07 | 2566427 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Is everyone forgetting just how fucking stupid people are to even answer this pole? That's why our leaders get away with what they do. They actually have people(as in the population) discussing this bullshit seriously. I'm not so close-minded as not to believe in aliens(and if they were anything like earthlings they'd def be hostile) but there's a 99.999999999999999999999999%..... chance that the biggest threat to humanity are the fuckheads running the country and their idiot friends like the ones that made this survey.

Any of you sitting here arguing about an alien invasion need to pull your heads out of your fucking asses this is a complete slap in the face of how stupid the people around you are.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:10 | 2566435 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

preach it! I hate a bad "pole" too.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:55 | 2567496 mkhs
mkhs's picture

What have you got against Poland?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:08 | 2566430 EmileLargo
EmileLargo's picture

The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter - Winston Churchill

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:12 | 2566440 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

Fat fascist fux like churchill make me glad that everyone dies eventually.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:13 | 2566444 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

First thing the aliens say: "Take us to your liter!"  

Just our luck to be 'vaded by alky aliens...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:24 | 2566461 sitenine
sitenine's picture

I guess maybe this explains Krugman's call for an alien invasion to save the economy? Or am I reading to much into it? Shit, were's my tin foil hat?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:19 | 2566463 TWSceptic
TWSceptic's picture

Thanks to the wonders of today's technology, we can now find out what the offspring of Obama and Romney may look like. Yikes!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:30 | 2566496 toady
toady's picture

That picture is mesmerizing, in a disturbing way.

It's like the combination of two non-souls. -1 + -1 on an ethereal plain.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:17 | 2566786 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

...has Mona Lisa's aura about it....

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:47 | 2566562 JR
JR's picture

Young Mittbarry.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 23:02 | 2567236 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

Could we then please-Plz-see what Hilary and Janet Nap might sire?

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:56 | 2567497 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Shouldn't you include a female?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:20 | 2566464 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"Prepared to handle an alien invasion"???

Yeah, he's prepared all right, to swell the ranks of Democratic voters. Why don't you ask Arizona about that.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:22 | 2566474 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

Well, according to former SS Major Werner von Braun shortly before he died from cancer, the final card which TPTB will play for a world fascist lock down will be a false flag alien invasion.  Krugman is just sending up a trial balloon.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:26 | 2566488 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

Krugman was just tired of making collect calls to relatives.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:23 | 2566479 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

As long as they "like" us on FB, we'll be okay. LOL

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:30 | 2566498 janus
janus's picture

not sure why, but for some reason this all reminds me how badly katie perry is cravin janus.

i'm very interested in probing her positions on markets and whatnot...

janus has poison a-plenty, sugar.

PS, katie: janus has been told, and more than once, that he's in possession of a majik member -- or maybe it's the other way round.

here's ole janus gettin ready to head to da big-city...but i suspect the ending will be a bit different.

...only the echos of my mind,


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:31 | 2566499 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

I am a documented alien invader into Mexico.  Hope they don't kick me out across their northern border.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:32 | 2566506 wardawg12
wardawg12's picture


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:32 | 2566508 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

Aliens are supposed to buy the 12,000,000 shadow inventory I thought?!  They come in peace to buy the millions and millions of vacant wooden boxes.......

Uranusites are our friends, right?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:33 | 2566510 Pchelar
Pchelar's picture

100% of the people who give answers on National Geographic Channel polls apparently have shit for brains.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:23 | 2566633 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

What is this "National Geographic Channel" that you write about?  Where is it found?  Who watches such?  We also have the concept of "shit" and "brains".  However, we never mingle the two, since our Creator separated the two by at least 1/2 of our body length and protect the "brains" from direct contact with the unfortunate environment.

- Ned

{But, we have not solved the question of our Creator's intention to put the playground in close proximity to the cloaca.  We wish to inquire if your Civilization has made any progress in resolving this unfortunate (for some) situation.}

{{Not that we feel any judgement in the wrongness of that.}}

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:34 | 2566516 buttmilk
buttmilk's picture

Obama looks like Ricardo Montalban in that picture.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 02:44 | 2567490 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

"The plane, boss! The Plane!"   LOL  ;-0

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 03:15 | 2567512 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

his preferred type of M&Ms

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 03:13 | 2567511 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

actually, he looks white.


they must have phot shopped the american flag pin onto his lapel.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 09:14 | 2567976 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

And now, Tattoo, for a little Fantasy of my own...
In the Finest Corinthian Leather.

oh no, Boss!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:37 | 2566524 stiler
stiler's picture

Doesn't Romney's religion believe in spirit babies that came down from another planet? So... wouldn't he be the expert? Why not ask him in a news conference.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:48 | 2566566 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

>Doesn't Romney's religion believe in spirit babies that came down from another planet?

That's what the golden plates say when read through the seeing-eye stone.

Unfortunately, the plates were lost. Maybe you can ask a combustible shrubbery instead.


Thu, 06/28/2012 - 03:11 | 2567510 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

not planets but celestial levels, sort of like the degrees of Heaven and Hell in Buddhism or Hinduism. I believe this concept existed in the original versions of the bible but was purged, with the notable exception of Satan being cast out of heaven to other realms. If I remember my comparative religion class well.

Thu, 06/28/2012 - 05:07 | 2567571 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

No, not of the 'Bible', but of early Christian texts. That's the influence of Neoplatonism. Many other instances of its influence were not purged from what became Catholicism.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:39 | 2566534 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

Obama and the aliens? Takes one to know one.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:40 | 2566538 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

That's a clown question, bro.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:42 | 2566545 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

How do you resist an alien invasion?

And who is that picture of?

Is there a third socialist candidate I haven't heard of yet?


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:49 | 2566568 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

No, it's the only candidate.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:42 | 2566546 JR
JR's picture

Who’s ever heard of this polling group, anyway? And it’s on Politico!  ZH put this on as a joke; instead of Friday humor, we have Wednesday humor.

The problem is, when the alien arrives and says, Take me to your leader, the response will be:"We have no leader."

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:46 | 2566555 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

>when the alien arrives and says, Take me to your leader

If the aliens are more advanced than human beings, they will realize that each individual is sovereign.


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:15 | 2566621 JR
JR's picture

The sovereignty issue reminds me of the Opus cartoon when as an immigrant he was headed for Bloom County to be questioned in a giant auditorium filled with clerks at their desks.  Across an entire wall of the room ran a narrow little sign that read: “Welcome immigrants.” Underneath ran a huge sign in bold 10-foot letters in red that gave the real welcome: NO SMOKING!

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 17:54 | 2566577 Dr. Acula
Dr. Acula's picture

If aliens invaded, then I'd hope an angry badger will come forth to defend us.


Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:01 | 2566588 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Obama and his DHS have already said they are going to ignore calls about aliens.  That's how they'll handle it.

Oh, those aliens.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:06 | 2566604 DonutBoy
DonutBoy's picture

So now we know where he was really born...

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:19 | 2566626 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

America has become caricature.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:28 | 2566653 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Art Bell could not be contacted for comment.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:28 | 2566654 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Great story to distract people from noticing the biggest fraud in history. As long as 99% of the population believe that banks lend the money other people deposit, everything is OK. Let's spin the aliens-exist-but-government-did-not-tell-us-yet-story 24/7 on all channels.

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:36 | 2566681 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

If the aliens agree to buy US Treasuries, then do we let them in?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 19:06 | 2566758 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

What they are paying with? Starbucks?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 20:01 | 2566881 el Gallinazo
el Gallinazo's picture

What if the Rothschilds sell the aliens the Fed, and then they just print to buy the treasuries?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:41 | 2566695 jomama
jomama's picture

glad to hear the useful idiots are asking the right questions. 

chilling photoshop job.  i'm stealing it.  who can i give credit to?

Wed, 06/27/2012 - 18:48 | 2566717 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Obama is going to lose against the Romnulens.

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