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Obama Discusses The Economy, Jobs, And Other Stuff - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today's "do a shot" keywords of choice: "jobs", "congress", "economy", "fair", "speculators", "pass this bill", "cash for clunkers", "Stuxnet", "Solyndra" and "sugar drinks". Obviously, if we have any readers left alive after this sermon, it will be a victory for the bulls.

Live webcast:

 

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Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:07 | 2484740 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

FORWARD, MY LITTLE LEMMINGS!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:10 | 2484757 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Comments on the "wallpaper people" behind O are mandatory here to fully enjoy the event. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:12 | 2484768 I think I need ...
I think I need to buy a gun's picture

he's in "golden" valley MN.....any chance?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:17 | 2484807 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Hail to the thief.

I'm going to shoot my little round thermostat.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:22 | 2484841 Matt
Matt's picture

diversity fail. no asians or latinos in the immediate background. Also older looking crown, not enough young people.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:32 | 2484907 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

'The car manufactoring industry has come roaring back?'

Pardon me?

YEa - Ask the GM workers from the plant in Ontario whos CAW President has just announced this afternoon to his membership that 2,000 jobs are being axed in June 2013.

They are cancelling the Equinox and Impala lines.

Thanks to Tyler and ZH for showing us the real numbers and how all that GM stuffing manipulation/perversion works.

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:45 | 2484999 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

WHO NEEDS MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- The President of the United States of America, Barrack H. Obama, June 1st, 2012

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:50 | 2485332 Gigantor
Gigantor's picture

Had to give you a Red Arrow down, BLOTTO. 

What you said was incorrect. They will be shuttering some, if not all production in the Oshwa plant, that is true. But the Equinox and Impala lines are not being "cancelled". Those two vehicles will have their production transfered to flex plants in the U.S. Most likely Hamtramack (Spelling?) and the Equinox is being transfered to Spring Hill.

You can thank a not so kind exchange rate as well as the plant itself being dated/non Flex.

There is still an over-capacity problem, especially in Europe (that will eventually become a bloodbath), it isn't as bad as it once was but there will be some more consolidation up ahead for all manufactures around the globe.

 

But I'm totally with you on thanking ZH for cutting through the channel stuffing and inventory B.S. It's fun when you get to peak behind the curtain.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:43 | 2484985 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Is the gray haired guy on O's right Elmer Fudd?

Sat, 06/02/2012 - 00:05 | 2486760 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Be vawy vawy qwiet. Tha Pwesident is speaking.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 20:43 | 2486498 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

They're busy working their third job at McDonald's to pay their 200k school loans for their communication degrees (minored in Twitter).

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:42 | 2485296 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

I am 15 mi away from golden valley and could smell the bullshit from here.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:16 | 2484799 brewing
brewing's picture

"fuck, i skipped my lunch break for this"...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:42 | 2484827 Shocker
Shocker's picture

Yup, Good work.

The number that are reported are what they are. We know the economy is weak but what can be done to turn it around?

 

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:21 | 2484830 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

A little light humor..

some remarks about football...

praise for the "outstanding senators"--"outstanding congressional delegation"

all "in the house"...

some wise-guy chuckles

some stories about "folks" he has talked about the "tough economy"

UH oH,

he just said "jobs" twice...

I am startign to get Zucked up!

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:37 | 2484950 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

The interest on national debt that Americans will pay for generations to come is nothing compared to how much laughter will be generated by teaching Obamanomics at the Harvard Business School.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:18 | 2484812 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

he's missing asian wall decor... Also no Bhurka background

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:23 | 2484853 pods
pods's picture

Love the guy with the 'merican flag shirt on.  Dude must drink budweiser and shit apple pie!

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:44 | 2484990 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

I am sure he got made fun of. Who wears the shirt of the band you are going to see.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:22 | 2484855 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Dude on the right with the blue T-shirt and the big buckle looks like a CIA plant...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:35 | 2484931 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Anderson Cooper is there?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:23 | 2484856 BandGap
BandGap's picture

They act like zoo seals waiting for a fish!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484921 RSloane
RSloane's picture

They -are- zoo seals waiting for a fish.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:13 | 2485127 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Just wait until he steals their bucket instead!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/funny-pictures-lol...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 20:46 | 2486504 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

If I imagine Cleveland from family guy speaking those words, does that make me a racisss?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:46 | 2485000 Sauk Leader
Sauk Leader's picture

Why are the bleachers not leaning to the left with the 2 female linebackers all the way over there.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:29 | 2484888 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

is that short guy Corzine clapping in the background?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:31 | 2484903 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

Sorry, I already passed out last time.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:42 | 2484981 The Axe
The Axe's picture

The most quiet down 300 point day EVER!!!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:21 | 2484774 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I would rather watch paint dry than listen to the Pres bloviate about that which he has no clue.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:24 | 2484859 pods
pods's picture

I would rather watch you watch paint dry than listen to him.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:16 | 2485139 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Do you realize you're insinuating that AlaricBalth is even less intersting than drying paint with that comment? ;-)

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:32 | 2485250 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

He meant well.  Was just bein' honest..

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484867 XitSam
XitSam's picture

They were chanting "4 more years".  I think 12 years of the Bush policies would be enough.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:40 | 2484972 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

Bilderberg Live Stream

A much more interesting webcast

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:17 | 2485147 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... did Soros moon the camera again?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484864 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Obamanomics

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484904 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

LOL!

Sad thing is Romney has that same model toilet.

Both got it as a campaign contribution from Wall Street, gold plated and installed for free.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:41 | 2484976 Matt
Matt's picture

Having programs to convert military skills into civilian certifications actually makes sense. We'll see how the actual implementation goes, but it's hard to argue that if someone is a combat medic, they should be able to transfer into being an EMT without having to start from the beginning again.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:06 | 2485087 pods
pods's picture

That would work for MPs too.  Of course, seems to be no shortage of jack boots in my neck of the woods.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:28 | 2485227 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

And yet, the largest segment of the military are, and will be, combat forces.

So, can he tell us how killing people and breaking shit translates to any civilian jobs other than Krugman's window breakers?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 17:52 | 2486124 spdrdr
spdrdr's picture

Nightclub bouncers, maybe?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 15:28 | 2485508 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

And no coincidence that the J.P. Morgue is actively recruiting combat veterans.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:39 | 2484912 xtop23
xtop23's picture

 Things are bad, let's spend MORE money !??

 That is the solution !!??

 omg.

 And here I was worried about a Minsky Moment silly me.

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:40 | 2484969 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

10 shots for the word muppets. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:44 | 2484979 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

gambit: if vets aren't hired they will be firing on the front lines in the domestic apocalypse that's now being signaled by the markets today....

 

i'm losing brain cells at accelerated rate listening to this preacher-man oh my this is some dumb shit....god bless you god bless american home of the shitshow! 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:12 | 2485123 masterinchancery
masterinchancery's picture

The story of O, enough to make a strong man puke.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:08 | 2484746 drink or die
drink or die's picture

I've been training my whole life for this!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:11 | 2484760 bdc63
bdc63's picture

I've got a Fresca in hand right now, but I'll keep track and make up for it tonight ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:14 | 2484771 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'll see your Fresca and raise you a Tab.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:47 | 2485322 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

hopefully you are hiding it if it is over 16oz and you are in NYC.   King Bloomberg will send the pop police out after you.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:11 | 2484769 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I am sitting with my BUY finger over UNG "just in case"

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:09 | 2484747 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Jeez I almost panicked - I pushed pause three times and it didn't pause -- I almost had to hear it!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:20 | 2484832 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr's 2nd Shot's picture

Whatever you do, don't post!!! It resets the pause button and you get ambushed!!!

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:29 | 2484886 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Can't get my eyes off the fat lady in the green shirt on the bottom left, I know she is running the show and has everything fixed. Probably a deep thinker in skeptical epistemology as well as on the relationships between production capacity and money.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:48 | 2485007 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

Seriously though.  They shouldn't not have autoplay on these videos.  Especially as the campaign picks up over the summer.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:19 | 2485162 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Noscript is your friend. You decide what runs and what doesn't.

http://noscript.net/

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:09 | 2484749 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Starting to get difficult to hide the cracks in the economy.

I know, let's have Mr. O do daily tv appearances again !!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:12 | 2484779 bdc63
bdc63's picture

we only see the cracks they want us to see ... wait a minute - that didn't come out right ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484795 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

May I point out that there are good cracks and bad cracks?

This is a good crack.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484895 pods
pods's picture

I was wondering why a single plumber on Angie's list got such rave reviews by all the guy reviewers?

<pods runs off to destroy all plumbing under the sink>

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:31 | 2484908 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

CD, You big tease!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:36 | 2484937 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I took a picture of Mrs Cog when her back was turned.

Don't tell her I did so or she'll turn off my plumbing access. :>)

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 20:51 | 2486510 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

...the bread's not really bread anymore, and the circus is getting tiresome. They need to up the ante: Gitmo prison rodeo?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:11 | 2484753 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Fuck Obama, I'm not listening to his bullshit anymore

I'd rather shapren a pencil and shove it in my eye

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:39 | 2484963 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

To this Administration that would qualify as jobs 'Saved or Created'; some guy would have to make another pencil, one would have to remove the pencil and stop the bleeding, one would have to make you an eye patch, and one would have to figure out how to avoid paying for it under Obamacare...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:21 | 2485171 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Fuck Obama? Not even with Rahm's dick.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:10 | 2484755 AndrewJacksonsGhost
AndrewJacksonsGhost's picture

I have something more enjoyable to do, get a root canal.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:13 | 2484773 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

OMFG

Look:  a stage, a flag, a figurehead saying "I willl do something..." about the shitstorm falling on the people's heads from the Kleptoligarchy which props the puppet babbling on the stage.

This is hell.

 

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:14 | 2484790 bdc63
bdc63's picture

Why can't we fill one of these audiences one day with ZHer's? ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:18 | 2484819 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr&#039;s 2nd Shot's picture

Excellent idea, get all of us together in an enclosed space.  What could possibly go wrong?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:40 | 2484970 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Nothing until Trav showed up or the alcohol ran out...

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:46 | 2484997 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

I understand there's a big bash planned in Zuccotti Park  by the ZH folks for the Fed's 100 aniversary next year.  That should be interesting. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:23 | 2485186 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Oh, as if we won't be on lock-down under martial law by then.

If not? Then it's a trap!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:42 | 2484980 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Because most of the ZHers are taking sailing lessons since they are awful captains and navigators it would seem.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:44 | 2484987 Burr's 2nd Shot
Burr&#039;s 2nd Shot's picture

On second thought, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it (called a FEMA camp).

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:12 | 2484776 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

I have to work tonight.  I'm only gonna drink on "green shoots," "robust economy," "spending cuts" and "bright future"....

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:21 | 2484842 bdc63
bdc63's picture

dude ... you're going to be too wasted to get the key into the ignition ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 20:54 | 2486513 John Wilmot
John Wilmot's picture

That's what the built-in breathalizer is for. If you're too drunk to get the key in the ignition, just breath into it, car starts right up. ...wait

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:13 | 2484782 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture
Yo we's is moving forward muh motha fuckin fellow Kenyans sho 'nuff!
Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:54 | 2485030 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:25 | 2485205 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I hope his genius isn't named Dimon...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:32 | 2485248 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Not Sure

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:13 | 2484789 narnia
narnia's picture

Maybe he's set to annouce leg 2 of Joe Biden's Summer of Recovey tour, opening in Europe. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:22 | 2484793 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Audio is on mute but let me take a stab at the transcript:

Bush.....Congress.....fair share.....shared sacrifice.....something unintelligble about white people or white house (see Richard Pryor).....bush.....inherit.....fire that dumb bitch Solis (hot mic)...

 

How did I do?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:28 | 2484880 Matt
Matt's picture

FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:50 | 2485336 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

four more years was chanted by the MN crowd.   electing al franken and amy kloubachar, and mark dayton governor?    There IS something in the MN water.  I drink bottled water from out of state.  I swear the people in MN are poisoned.

Sat, 06/02/2012 - 02:00 | 2486844 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

You are absolutely correct:

http://www.mrwa.com/waterord17.htm

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:15 | 2484796 Mercury
Mercury's picture

May I instead suggest this startling bit of foresight  from 35 years ago?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:16 | 2484800 pissing_excellence
pissing_excellence's picture

Comic relief puppet shows today gets better and better hahahaha

http://youtu.be/OaWzyosrQ6E

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:16 | 2484802 HaroldWang
HaroldWang's picture

Joe LaWronga on CNBC asked "what's he smoking" with his view on the economy. Also, found a "silver lining" in the BLS report. Man, this dude should be banned from tv.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:18 | 2484814 t_kAyk
t_kAyk's picture

dude in the back stole your avatar!!  CHUG!! 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:18 | 2484808 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

By coincidence you can see each ethnic group represented in the black ground.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:18 | 2484809 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Love that song, it reminds me of the movie 'Animal House'

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:19 | 2484815 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

The ToTUS has shown himself time and again to be a liar and a fraud. How many chances does he expect people to give him?

Maybe he is expecting a high turn-out from the zombie vote to give him another term.

Braaaainnnzzzz!!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:19 | 2484818 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

And give yourself a round of applause for a great round of applause!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:20 | 2484820 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I don't have nearly enough alcohol on hand to watch this! I think I'm just going to hit myself in the head with a rubber mallet on the keywords...eventually I'll be capable of running for Congress!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:20 | 2484823 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Slayer goes to church- "Angel of Death"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsw9PqgFmQ8

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:22 | 2484840 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

When I was young and read history I wondered how it was possible that so many went to riots or battle or otherwise died for monarchs, viziers, sultans, and warlords.

Then I grew up and watched Americans fawn, prattle, and waggle after politicians with slick tongues spouting a ream of bullshit and it became clear.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:21 | 2484844 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Is it just me or does it look like the speech was given in front of a "blue screen" crowd? I hate to say it, but that would be typical...

... why would they position the crowd behind the podium?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:27 | 2484866 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Psychological manipulation of the live and T.V. audience.

The Sheeple need the prompt to "see" themselves on the stage "with" Obummer; therefore, they will believe what he says and support him.

Anyone showing up with that clown is already 2 quarts short of a gallon; but the little tricks like a backdrop of other sheeple of varying genders, races, colors, and costumes lets the malleable "see" themselves and helps to eliminate doubt or questioning about what is being said (or not said).

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:21 | 2484846 Vagabond
Vagabond's picture

Rage is beginning to boil... better turn this blowhard off.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:25 | 2484862 djsmps
djsmps's picture

I drink at "folks."

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484894 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Dangerous word to drink on:  Das Volk.  He is using it nearly every 3rd sentence. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:25 | 2484863 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

The cocky swagger is gone.

Dude is a limp dick.

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:28 | 2484868 cdude
cdude's picture

The guy is just so dull and predictable. Like watching a half rate comedian on tour, who doesn't know what city he's in. Fill in the blank regional platitudes. At least Clinton was original and entertaining. Don't get me wrong they are both evil MF'ers.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:58 | 2485380 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

The master and his demons take a heavy toll on the body ... and soul.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484869 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

The fat lady in the green dress just farted

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:28 | 2484878 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

I saw her lift up and let it slip out, 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484870 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

How fucking stupid are these idiots clapping for this clown?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:59 | 2485387 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Keep in mind the whole thing could be fake. The crowd could be like a laugh track inserted on a blue screen and the speech is timed to coincide with the claps.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:26 | 2484871 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

How 'bout that phoney Selective Service registration, you piece of shit?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:27 | 2484874 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

Here's a look at the size of the national debt (red line) vs. the yield on the 10-year (blue line) going back to the late 1960s.

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-the-collapse-in-interest-means-2012-...
Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:27 | 2484876 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

Being not a US-American I'm asking myself, if there are really US-Americans that see this speech and don't recognize the sequence of phrases and platitudes read from a telepromter and written by spin-doctors? Do people really fall victim to such a ridiculous theatre?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:33 | 2484914 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

some do, yes

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:35 | 2484938 pods
pods's picture

Most americans either have it paused till it is over or it is on mute.

Well, hopefully I am not alone.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:07 | 2485090 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Unfortunately, many, many Americans are just fuckin' stupid and eat this shit up like it was their favorite ice cream.

Gawd, we're fucked.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 18:32 | 2486214 Againstthelie
Againstthelie's picture

LOL!

Just brilliant.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:28 | 2484879 Roy T
Roy T's picture

Teachers & firefighters and roads & bridges appear in every speech.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:49 | 2485011 oncebitten
oncebitten's picture

Yeah, what is it with Firefighters (I think we have plenty - haven't seen any city-wide conflagrations)?  Also why the unthinking praise for Firefighters?  They sit around on their asses and amass huge pensions - every once in awhile they have to spray some water on a fire - big fucking deal.  The truth is there are so many people who want to fight fires that we have VOLUNTEER FIRE departments - I drive by two every day on my way to work.  Work where I actually have to work most of the day, not just rub down the chrome on a fucking fire truck and eat meatballs.  Fuck firefighters.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:29 | 2484885 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

Obama:

 

"We need a law to put teachers, firefighters back to work"

 

How about:

 

"We need a law to put gov't out of work so that capital will be properly allocated by the market back to teachers and firefighters"

 

gov't does not, should not, and MUST NOT  allocate capital. Why is Obama too stupid to understand this?

 

Markets rule all- including those who call themselves the "rulers"

 

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:46 | 2485001 Let The Wurlitz...
Let The Wurlitzer Play's picture

How about we get rid of all firefighters.  We spend more money on firefighters payroll, medical and pensions than it would cost to let the all the buildings that catch fire burn to the ground and rebuild completely.  We could keep the EMT side of the business and just respond to injury calls.  Before you go nuts calling this unpatriotic just look at the numbers and think about it.  We spend billions of dollars on payroll and benefits to guys that sit around all day and text their girlfiends, arm wrestle and run their home remodeling business on the taxpayers dime.  Its not that expensive to rebuild a building and modern buildings are almost fireproof.

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 16:57 | 2485957 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

I like it...

 

Sat, 06/02/2012 - 07:52 | 2487020 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

 

"We need a law to put teachers, firefighters back to work"

 Hey, kids. In today's class we will learn how to commit arson, won't that be fun! It's also good for the economy! And don't forget, there's a quiz tomorrow on the efficiacy of broken windows as a means to infinite GDP!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484887 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

Obama: "Layoffs at the state and local level are a problem.  But its a problem we can fix"

 

Thinks to oneself instantly:  "How, by throwing money at the problem?"

 

Obama:  "Congress can pass a bill now to put workers back to work."

 

Thinks to oneself in a depressed manner:  "shit, I need a drink."

 

-------------

Obama just called for more alternative energy tax credits....  thinks to oneself:  "shit, I need another drink."

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:37 | 2484889 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

THINGAMINGCHING !!!!!.......any time he goes off the teleprompter, he is a mess !!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484891 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Why are these people clapping?

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484922 BandGap
BandGap's picture

They get a fish if they do.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 16:23 | 2485759 carbonmutant
carbonmutant's picture

Well played...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:31 | 2484893 fuu
fuu's picture

Gold over $1620 during speech, right at "thingamajig for your furnace".

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:30 | 2484901 bdc63
bdc63's picture

why is the song "Hey! Big spender ..." going through my head? ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:31 | 2484906 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

"Moving expences for jobs coming back to America"

That's funny Dick.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:31 | 2484910 BandGap
BandGap's picture

I went away for a minute, did I miss anything? Is everything better now?

Oh shit, it reset!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:32 | 2484915 news printer
news printer's picture

Yea, Yea, Yea

In the background bunch of hungry, lemmings without any prospects whatsoever.

He should ask the audience: Can we screw economy even more?

And the answer is:

YES WE CAN ;)

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:33 | 2484916 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

We have a president who doesn't know what a thermostat is and he's at Honeywell

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:58 | 2485381 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

short honeywell, they now have the stink on em.   now where did i put my honeyweiss?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:33 | 2484918 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

Skills? Like murdering Afhghan children?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:33 | 2484920 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

Hey, he's got his sleeves rolled up, what more could we ask of him?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:36 | 2484943 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

Hold on, I see some cum stains on his shirt.  Must be Bernanke's.  I feel better now, does Ben? Print baby print.

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:33 | 2484924 Bawneee Fwank
Bawneee Fwank's picture

I get so god damn sick of hearing "Cops, Firefighters, teachers and Children"

 

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 14:59 | 2485390 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

what? they are the key to our economy! haha

Why does he mention them?   They haven't been nationalized into federal employees, YET.

Most fire departments are VOLUNTEER local, run by a paid captain.  yes, they qualify for various pensions over the years but at least that is up the cities to decide.

 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:35 | 2484925 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

You would pass out when drinking on "leadership". I think that is his favorite memo.

P.S. While I was clicking on stop, I heard him promising more jobs *snicker snicker*

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:35 | 2484928 Ted Baker
Ted Baker's picture

RUMOUR HAS IT -> MORGAN STANLEY AND JP DOOMES TO FAIL - IMPLIED VOL CLOSED TO 70% FOR THE FORMER

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:40 | 2484973 pods
pods's picture

I think it is still stuck Ted.  

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484929 fuu
fuu's picture
Honeywell 54.01 -1.65 (-2.96%)
Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484930 BandGap
BandGap's picture

He picks/plays with his nose a lot. 

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:41 | 2484977 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

He did a bump before going on stage.

 

Choom Gang!!

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:35 | 2484932 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

Boycott Honeywell

Buy Chinese ...

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484933 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Yeah, HE celebrated Memorial Day...by keeping Vets and their families away from the Vietnam War Memorial for hours on end, so he could give a campaign speech...

http://maroonedinmarin.blogspot.com/2012/05/vets-families-turned-away-from-vietnam.html

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 13:34 | 2484935 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

looks like the coke, is starting to make Obamas nose run

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