Obama Makes Secret Visit To Afghanistan On Anniversary Of Osama Death; Will Designate Country Major Non-NATO Ally

Tyler Durden's picture


Just when we thought the president didn't have any tricks left up his pre-election sleeve on the anniversary of Osama's death announcement, here he comes and surprises everyone with what has just been disclosed as a secret visit to Afghanistan, where in a televised statement at 7:30 pm Eastern, the president will announce a strategic partnership with president Karzai, and where he will designate Afghanistan a major non-Nato ally - the "first such designation of the Obama presidency."

From Reuters:

President Barack Obama arrived in Afghanistan on Tuesday to sign an agreement charting future relations with the country, making the secret trip on the first anniversary of the killing of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.


Obama plans to deliver a televised address to Americans later on Tuesday.


The U.S.-Afghan Strategic Partnership Agreement will set conditions for a U.S. presence there after a 2014 deadline for the withdrawal of most NATO combat forces.


As he fights for his re-election, Obama is seeking to portray his foreign policy record as a success.


His re-election campaign has made bin Laden's death a key part of that argument, and the president's visit to the country where militants hatched the September 11, 2001 attacks will reinforce that message. It also opens him up to criticism from Republicans, who say Obama has politicized bin Laden's death.


After leaving Washington under cover of darkness late on Monday and flying overnight, Obama arrived at Bagram Air Base before visiting Kabul.


He planned to meet with Afghan President Hamid Karzai at his palace and will later make remarks to troops at Bagram. From Bagram, he also plans to deliver formal remarks about the Afghanistan war at 7:30 p.m. EDT (2330 GMT).


Obama's speech will focus on the strategic partnership agreement and is likely to put an emphasis on his plans to wind down the costly and unpopular Afghanistan war where nearly 3,000 U.S. and NATO soldiers have died since the country was invaded in 2001.


After a U.S. troop increase that Obama ordered in late 2009, U.S. and NATO forces have managed to weaken Taliban militants, but the movement is far from defeated.

That's all great. Our only concern is for the secret service: considering the local conservative agenda, will there be enough entertainment for Obama's sworn protectors to distract themselves in the time before and after the president declares his foreign policy an epic success?

Well, there are always poppy seeds...

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Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:18 | 2388965 Troy Ounce
Troy Ounce's picture



Clown is still in the news?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:24 | 2388977 battle axe
battle axe's picture

So how big a check did he just hand Karzai? You know it has to be huge to buy off those rat weasels. Get our troops out of Afghanistan, we are BROKE. Also let us not forget, we are going to get sucked into that black-hole called IRAN.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:37 | 2389022 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

More MSM distraction.

Today is the REAL anniversary of unconscionable price manipulation in silver.  Prices fell more than 20% in a matter of minutes during off hours in the Asian market, followed by an unprecedented 5 margin hikes in 9 days.

Osama is the distraction to keep the US "reserve" ponzi going, silver represents freedom from Obummer and the fascists.  Which do you think gets reported?  This is all too surreal.  Even Hollywood has more success making citizens believe fairytales.



Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:38 | 2389063 SHEEPFUKKER

Did Osama's body turn up yet? lol

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:56 | 2389125 Joeman34
Joeman34's picture

The real question is...  will the secret service now have an Afghani hooker scandal???

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:02 | 2389159 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Bullish for Ron Paul. Expect US military contributions to rise exponentially.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:12 | 2389195 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He had nothing better to do... They were aerating the greens at Burning Tree CC this week...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:35 | 2389232 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Tell me Putin isn't throwing shit all around his office right now.  The Russians got ran out of Afghanistan like the French retreating when fireworks go off and now we have an "ally" with poppy and rare earth minerals.......................amazing, huh?????????

PS TD mentioned poppy first.  And yes, I had a New Year's hangover and watched all 5 parts of this post:


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 18:33 | 2389554 smiler03
smiler03's picture

Afghanistan a major ally? I haven't heard anything so ridiculous since the last US GDP growth figures. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:07 | 2389605 NeoRandian
NeoRandian's picture

Quite. Bomb a third world country into pre-stone age conditions, occupy it for 10+ years, install a puppet dictator, train its army to shoot your soldiers in the back and now its an ally? What type of ally? It has *no* GDP without US aid. It has *no* effective military. What good does it do us as an ally? If the entire population of Afghanistan disappeared overnight, we would actually get more benefit from being "allied" with it.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:40 | 2390060 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

i liked the show better when bush stuck something in his codpiece and strode across the deck.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:02 | 2390439 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I tried declaring my girlfriend a non-marriage ally, but my wife put the kabosh to that notion! :>D

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 17:15 | 2389397 Betty Swallsack
Betty Swallsack's picture

Pfft!  All I know is that should I ever be able to locate, and then shoot, either Sasquatch/The Easter Bunny/The Boogey Man/Santa Claus/The Keebler Elves/insert mythical crature here; I'm most certain that the very next step wouldn't be to dispose of it/them in a large body of water.....then claim that I did.

If you believe what the lamestream media presstitutes/white house souse are hawking, I have some of Saddam's WMDs to sell you.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:56 | 2389127 resurger
resurger's picture

No problem BA, The Government can still print money & test new weapons on innocent civilians (Lab Rats according to the DOD)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 17:54 | 2389473 12ToothAssassin
Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:21 | 2388990 Freeskier
Freeskier's picture

"Communism is when you are starved.  Fascism is when you are dinner." - Freeskier


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:32 | 2389033 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



This trip appears to be an Afghan and Camel show.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:40 | 2389070 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Nah, its the  'OPEium show. :-).

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:32 | 2389035 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ah, those staunch Afghan allies! With all their armored divisions, battlegroups, advanced EW knowhow, and all we have to do is give them several billion per month.  And they kill our men once in a while. Bother, that! Yup, another fine descision by our Dear Leader.

I see no reason they cannot be allowed to join NATO.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:34 | 2389048 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

They only report those "friendly" attack incidents when someone is killed, they don't if just wounded or not hurt.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:56 | 2389123 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

It is beyond parody this time.   It's like he wants to rub the nations face in his doo for failing to love him enough.   Afghanistan has been a UN clusterfrack since the week after we routed the mullahs (easily), then years later Odumbo comes in and triples down on the cost of the whole stupid sharade with his surge-then-leave-by-a-fixed date plan.    To hell with the place and its barbaric tribal sheep shagging opium growing culture, unless they have some resources under their soil, in which case we should TAKE it.  They should thank the west for not exterminating them, and for preventing the soviets from doing so.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:45 | 2389266 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I believe the Soviets decimated Afghanistan and still were unable to defeat the people there. The US will be well served to learn this lesson.

Estimates of the Afghan deaths during the 9 year Soviet invasion vary from 670,000 to 2 million. 5–10 million Afghans fled to Pakistan and Iran, 1/3 of the prewar population of the country, and another 2 million were displaced within the country. In the 1980s, half of all refugees in the world were Afghan.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:00 | 2389145 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

Seriously...Afghanistan is supposed to be "a major ally" ????

What kind of crack is Obama/Osama on? Does this guy have ANY self-respect???

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:09 | 2389181 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

It's not crack; it's opium.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:57 | 2389709 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Seriously...Afghanistan is supposed to be "a major ally" ????

What kind of crack is Obama/Osama on? Does this guy have ANY self-respect???

His teleprompter told him that the American people are too stupid to know the difference between the bought-off bureaucracy in Kabul (which will remain an ally until the bribes aren't big enough) and the rest of Afghanistan, which will never be an ally of anyone since it's not a cohesive political unit.

As far as self-respect, it's probably equivalent to that of any other actor currently employed as a teleprompter reader.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:58 | 2389134 mr1963
mr1963's picture

By the time the election rolls around Obama will have singlehandidly flown the helicopter (the one that did not crash of course), saved several helpless and hapless seal team members from certain death, planned the mission, steered the ship to dump the body, and of course, would have been the one to take the kill shot.

Anyone else long for the days when leaders like Eisenhower, Lincoln and yes, W didn't claim 100% responsibility for anything and gave credit to the people who actually carried out the mission? Or, didn't provide themselves an escape hatch by basically entering into a contract with the general in charge of the mission to take the blame if it went poorly?

This guy is a complete arse, no decorum whatsoever.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:06 | 2389171 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Clowns ruling the world. Or so they think they do.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:40 | 2389264 undercover brother
undercover brother's picture

The Manchurian Candidate strikes again!


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 17:49 | 2389466 DosZap
DosZap's picture

So the Taco in Thief went to visit his relatives?.How quaint..........................this last minute horseshit is fooling NO one.

Don't beat the hell out of me for 4yrs, and then say I am SO sorry!.

Pls forgive me,(until after my erection).

His NEW campaign slogan goes back many years the word (FORWARD), to Commies, and devout Marxist governments.................

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:19 | 2388970 Manthong
Manthong's picture

So does the secret service adapt to the local customs there and go for the boys?


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:22 | 2388993 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

No, that's probably the #1 reason there won't be any SS scandal during this little shindig.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:44 | 2389086 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

However, the sheep and goats do have their back legs crossed in fear.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:32 | 2389039 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ancient Arab saying, "A woman for children, but a boy for pleasure."  Hold on - Obama's making them our treasured ally is making MUCH more sense...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:36 | 2389051 Manthong
Manthong's picture

They may not be as adverse to youthful gayness as some would like to believe.



Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:20 | 2388973 Mad Max
Mad Max's picture

This could provide the shortest timeframe yet for a country to go from major ally to major enemy.

It does not seem that the Afghan people or army particularly like the US.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:24 | 2389000 duo
duo's picture

I suppose a visa waiver program for Afghan tourists is next.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:20 | 2388978 brewing
brewing's picture

pre-empting american idol? sacrilege...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:30 | 2388979 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

YGBFKM ~ This will go down as Obama's "Mission Accomplished" moment...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:20 | 2388980 youngman
youngman's picture

Funny....no actually sad....this after the bloodiest month for our servicemen ever in the theater.......but then again Obama cares less about the servicemen...only himself......does anyone know how many were killed last month....no you don´t because the MSM does not report it anymore now that the Socialist is in power....but if it was Bush..it would be every day and every hour...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:26 | 2389011 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

You have to want it to see a difference.

US citizen collin powell admit that for the iraqi war, the US military did not bodycount (the killed 'enemy')

The free press suspended reports on casualties the very same they are doing for Obama.

Obama is your typical US citizen president. Even though he is light on personal power exercize due to being a negro.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:43 | 2389084 machineh
machineh's picture

You type "surprizingly" well for an AnEncephalic! (look it up -- prolly not in your ESL course book)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:59 | 2389137 viahj
viahj's picture

know much about tieneneman square?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:05 | 2389170 knightowl77
knightowl77's picture

I do know that more Americans have died in Afghansitan in the 3 years 3 months that Obama has been president than in the 8 years Bush was prez...but where are the Anti-War protestors now? Where is Code Pink? Where is the press trying to get pictures of the fallen servicemen returning to Andrews AFB?


But but he does have a Nobel Peace Prize....

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 16:22 | 2389217 marathonman
marathonman's picture

The press are safely tucked away in BHO's back pocket.  Or under his desk ala Monica Lewinsky.  It's gotta' be pretty crowded there.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 18:41 | 2389568 smiler03
smiler03's picture

American Casualties in "Operation Enduring Freedom" also known as Afghanistan...


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:21 | 2388982 gimli
gimli's picture

Wow --- I just formed a strategic alliance with my local Dunkin Donuts this morning --- Barrack and I think alike.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:20 | 2388983 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

"... where he will designate Afghanistan a major non-Nato ally - the "first such designation of the Obama presidency."


I think I'm gonna puke!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:34 | 2389046 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

Celebrating the 1 yr (fake) anniv of a Zbigniew Brzezinski stooge's supposed death. Did you see the story this a.m. where Osama had "put out a contract" on Obama. Puhleeeze! Ya think OBummer will be marking the anniv of that copter-load of SEALs (involved in the Bin Laden cleanout) who mysteriously died shortly thereafter?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 15:30 | 2388985 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

No matter how far away he travels from Chicago, he'll still be a Chicago politician...crony feeding crook.

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