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Obama's Afghanistan Address - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture


Obama's highly-anticipated TV address from Afghanistan, where he landed in a secret trip that was not disclosed until late this afternoon and where he is forming a strategic alliance with president Karzai, has begun. Watch live.

Full speech wordcloud (source):


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Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:39 | 2389654 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

So are those real army trucks behind him, or a backdrop?

Either way trucks and troops coming home soon to an uban area near you to maintain "Homeland Security" for the sake of J.P. Morgue, Goldman, Wall Street, Wal Mart, and the Kleptoligarchy

Ron Paul 2012.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:41 | 2389667 SV
SV's picture

Keep your eye on the lookout for the MockingJay flying by the corner of the screen landing on the truck...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:54 | 2389699 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Didn't waste my time watching, but I am sure that any military troops and officers in the vicinity were apropriately disarmed before coming anywhere near their commander-in-chief.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:55 | 2389705 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

If you take a shot every time the term "rare earth minerals" is used, well, you'll be very very sober...............

Warning to China: WE own them now...................

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:28 | 2389768 buzzardsluck
buzzardsluck's picture

I choosed "fgan", feeeling qoozes now

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:42 | 2389782 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



The Afghan's must be some horny proliferate bastards.  After Russia and us the population should be about zero.   By any chance are there a bunch of kids that look like Clinton over there?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:47 | 2389803 Michael
Michael's picture

"Al-Qaeda" = "The Base" in English. Americans are so stupid.

I want to see 1080p Sony Handycam video of Osama's dead body before I believe BO got him. I believe Osama's been dead for about a decade.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:08 | 2389841 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

We all know when the POTUS is lying (his lips are moving)

Do you know when he's Done Lying?

Ron Paul 2012

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:25 | 2389862 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Capricorn One bitchez!... I guess his dumb ass gets to be O.J.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:14 | 2389978 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

You don't need troops in Afghanistan, when they are all in Iran.

Withdraw from Afghanistan, and move them into Iran.


You don't need much troops anyway if they can control drones from Arabian seas.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:09 | 2390262 Haole
Haole's picture

Yeah right, and trust oversight of the source of 95+% of the world's heroin exclusively to the Karzais.  That is not going to happen.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:29 | 2389869 shuckster
shuckster's picture

Al Qaeda means "the Faith" if I remember correctly

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:36 | 2390042 I Got Worms
I Got Worms's picture

It is also slang for "the toilet." No bullshit. Our puppetmasters sure have a good sense of humor.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 02:42 | 2390376 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture


So, that fucking idiot C-in-C goes over to Afghanistan, on the anniversary of the belated announcement of OB's death. Now that is putting your troops in harm's way. What a great way to stir up the locals.

Barry: "Now you guys. I need some lovin on my approval ratings. What can I do'?

Handler: Duurrrhhh-yup boss! Duh, I Know!, I know! We could have the cocksucker who killed their iconic leader, go over on their turf and rub their noses in it. Duh-yeah. That will impresss the people that you are a tough guy. Did I do good, huh boss, huh?"

OBummer: Let's do it. (Aside) Promote that man.

You are a cretin Obama, and led by the nose by your idiot handlers. Which idiot amoungst them came up with this bright idea. On your arrival you deliver a speach to the troops (and the Afghani "insurgents"), blathering on how some of them were not going to make it home. In fact, he comes right out and says "Some of you will die!". Hail to the Chief. You wouldn't consider (in your wildest dreams) that you would tool up and lead from the front now, would you?

His words have been prophetic. The "insurgents" are attacking Kabul as I type. 6 dead so far (don't know which side but does it matter?).

Barry..... You are a thoughtless and Murderous CUNT!!!!


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:34 | 2390421 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture

MKULTRA  is a bitch. Have a little sympathy.


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 08:43 | 2390746 ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture
My analogy is this:   Suppose some South American drug lords are in tight with the government of Texas.




Angry about increasing Chinese military presence in Central America, presumably there to ensure the flow of certain critical natural resources, some trainees of the drug lords –and, actually, mainly Brazilians, whom the Chinese had always thought of allies and trade partners - crash an airliner into a building in Beijing.




The Chinese invade Texas, remove the existing government, install their own puppet and spend a decade attempting to bring the lawless countryside under central control.




Meanwhile, many of the South American nationals who perpetrated the deed flee and fade into the shadows in Mexico, which is, let’s say, ostensibly China's ally.  




Over the course of that decade, tens of thousands of Texans die, directly or indirectly, due to Chinese military presence. Occasionally, a wedding party gets blown up, but the Chinese make half-assed apologies for it and there are no real international consequences. They disrespect the religious traditions of the indigenous Texans. There’s even an incident where they burn the Texans’ and Mexicans’ holy book.




What self-respecting Texan *wouldn't* pick up a WWII surplus rifle and take potshots at the Chinese military whenever possible, and plot to kill them at every turn?


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:10 | 2390493 centurain
centurain's picture

Ironically the first thing I noticed when deployed there was all the little white kids running around.  I was told the Russians left more than just unexploded bombs behind

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:59 | 2389713 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Didn't Bill Clinton invented that? Somehow I'm guessing Bush likely did the same thing.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:04 | 2389722 Xibalba
Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:21 | 2389754 ndotken
ndotken's picture

Fuck him ... there's plenty of us that just don't give a flying shit anymore.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:34 | 2389771 malikai
malikai's picture

Today is now National Loyalty Day, comrades.

EDIT: I got to snip this little tidbit in here.

In order to recognize the American spirit of loyalty and the sacrifices that so many have made for our Nation, the Congress, by Public Law 85-529 as amended, has designated May 1 of each year as "Loyalty Day." On this day, let us reaffirm our allegiance to the United States of America, our Constitution, and our founding values.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2012, as Loyalty Day. This Loyalty Day, I call upon all the people of the United States to join in support of this national observance, whether by displaying the flag of the United States or pledging allegiance to the Republic for which it stands.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:49 | 2389805 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

Sounds more like a commemoration that a celebration.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:45 | 2389887 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

It's actually harvest time for the poppy. 

He and Karzai, in a branding exercise, are launching an exclusive Beijing Tehran Reserva version of this year's bumper crop they're calling BHOpium4U.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:52 | 2389808 ffart
ffart's picture

Loyal to who?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:54 | 2389810 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

I pledge resistance to the flag of the United States of America and to the banana republic for which it stands, one corporation under gog, intolerable, without liberty and justice for all.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:14 | 2389962 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Because singing Happy Birthday to the Illuminati dressed like Marilyn Monroe would have seemed too showy.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:14 | 2390146 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


Today is now National Loyalty Day, comrades

I suppose it features a web site and a toll-free phone number for ratting out insufficiently loyal neighbors, coworkers, and relatives.


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 07:02 | 2390558 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

The holiday was first observed in 1921[2] as "Americanization Day,"[3] and was intended to counterbalance the celebration of Labour Day on May Day (May 1), an internationally celebrated holiday for the commemoration of the Haymarket Massacre in Chicago in 1886.

Loyalty Day is celebrated with parades and ceremonies in several U.S. communities, like Batavia, Illinois, although many people in the United States remain unaware of it. Although a legal holiday, it is not a federal holiday, and is not commonly observed.

It was made an official holiday by the U.S. Congress on July 18, 1958 (Public Law 85-529).[4][5] Following the passage of this law, President Dwight D. Eisenhower proclaimed May 1, 1959 the first official observance of Loyalty Day. [6]

In 2011, and again in 2012[7] President Barack Obama issued an official proclamation of Loyalty Day on May 1 in accordance with the 1958 Congressional declaration,[8] as have many of his predecessors:

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 08:10 | 2390661 victor82
victor82's picture


The Banner high!

The Ranks are close Together....

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:03 | 2389940 GS-DickinDaMuppets
GS-DickinDaMuppets's picture

I watched that video, but I think my hearing aid batteries must be on the fritz - all I got was a bunch of mumbling and gurling.


...doing GOD's work...GS-DickinDaMuppets

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:06 | 2389727 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I was disappointed...I expected a drone fly over.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:15 | 2389740 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Scope and Range...?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:57 | 2389704 Freeskier
Freeskier's picture

We've always been at war with Oceania.

We've never been at war with Oceania.

We've always been at war with Oceania.



Isn't it time for another Nobel Peace Prize or something?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:54 | 2389702 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Speaking of trucks coming home soon to maintain "homeland Security"... There is a national guard armory I drive by every on my way home from work. The camo paint on the equipment has changed from desert tan to jungle green over the past few years. That color matches nicely with rural America in the summer months.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:04 | 2389723 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

I hear russian troops are coming over to suburbia. .308 FMJ should do the trick nicely I think. Night Scopes are usefull I hear.....

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:23 | 2389760 prole
prole's picture

What a load of misdirecting Krap!

Nobody is fearful or bothered by Russian Troops. Russia is our natural Christian Ally. Russian Troops did not murder Vicky Weaver and Sammy Weaver. If Russian Sailors get to dock in Baltimore the Vodka is on me Comrades!

Nasdarovya you Clown

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:11 | 2389734 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Word up.


Obummer total uncle tom sell out.....get me off this's smelly and ugly....

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:05 | 2389835 RmcAZ
RmcAZ's picture

Wonder what kind of deals the SS got on Afghani hookers.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:49 | 2390086 Hi Ho Silver
Hi Ho Silver's picture

The goats are very cheap, and inexpensive.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:28 | 2390187 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Skanky, real & very skanky

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:16 | 2389851 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Blah Blah bullshit blah bullshit bullshit blah blah!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:28 | 2389868 shuckster
shuckster's picture

Green screen

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:39 | 2390054 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

I call bullshit on being in Afghanistan too,

Even if:

Really? How fucking responsible is that?

President Biden?

On second thought....

This show bores me.


America as entertainment.

Likely not what they had in mind.

Considering that history does rhyme; who does obama and his jolly lot of jokers most rhyme with?

I'll let you all answer that question.

Bear in mind though that obama is nothing new.

Sociopaths are a dime a dozen.

The path of least resistance is well worn.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:39 | 2389657 FrankThinkTank
FrankThinkTank's picture


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:39 | 2389658 2DollarBill
2DollarBill's picture

Mission Accomplished!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:52 | 2389689 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Sounded like Nixon's 'peace with honor' speech to me.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:55 | 2389812 Hansel
Hansel's picture

Just so no one gets the wrong idea, from NYT:

The agreement, completed after 20 months of arduous negotiations in Washington and Kabul, pledges American support for Afghanistan for 10 years after the withdrawal of the last American soldiers at the end of 2014. More symbol than substance, it nevertheless marks a pivotal transition...

This is a campaign stunt.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:33 | 2390198 Freebird
Freebird's picture

So you're saying there's like another agenda here? This is to garnish votes & that's it? Wow, just wow, who could have thunk it?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:40 | 2389659 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

I think most Americans could give a shit about Afghanistan.  WTF are we still doing over there?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:46 | 2389678 Decolat
Decolat's picture

Picking poppies.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:56 | 2389703 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Also rare earth metals.  Lots of them.

Oh and gold.  Lots of it:  "To Hannam, chairman of J.P. Morgan Capital Markets, Afghanistan represents a gigantic, untapped opportunity -- one of the last great natural-resource frontiers."

It is completely coincidental that JP Morgan is involved in the surprise discovery of huge amounts of mineral wealth in the country where taxpayers are spilling treasury and blood. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:01 | 2389716 nmewn
nmewn's picture

So it wasn't about an oil pipeline through the Kyber Pass?...blood for oil and what not. It was about rare earths for solar panels or sumpin?

Man, these guys are the Harry Houdini's of our time ;-)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:42 | 2389790 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Shit never changes with the banksters in charge, Marine Major-General Smedley Butler  ~1935 from War is a Racket 

"I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents"

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:01 | 2389932 nmewn
nmewn's picture

The cruelest joke was he did his duty, thinking it was for his people & his country. It was not, concerning Latin America.

Any officer can resign his commission at any time.<<< Re-read that...before continuing.

He didn't, so I don't hold him in such high regard as others might. In the end he spoke and acted upon reflection, past hence, not in the present.

I'm sure my view of him will come with great consternation to others...but it is my view of his personality.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:03 | 2390119 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"In 1934, he [Butler] became involved in a controversy known as the Business Plot when he told a congressional committee that a group of wealthy industrialists were planning a military coup to overthrow Franklin D. Roosevelt."

Now why would you be against that?  Winker.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:46 | 2390532 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Against what petal peddler?

We don't "overthrow" presidents here, we vote them out. Dictators & kings are overthrown. You saying FDR was a dictator?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:31 | 2390191 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

This is total B.S. Not only are there no mines in Afghanistan, there are no roads to get ore out of there. And no electricty or water to run mines. The only thing that was mined in Afghanistan was taxpayer dollars. And no, you don't get any of the spoils. Unlike empires of old, America no longer gets treasure from the countries it invades. No oil from Iraq. The treasure is in the invading, and all that money goes to the 1% industrial-military complex.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:51 | 2390542 Al Gorerhythm
Al Gorerhythm's picture

Oh, there's treasure there all right. It's bank issued debt.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:37 | 2389784 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Market Skeptics had done some interesting research on protecting poppies over there...right after the Taliban pretty much wiped out the poppy production in 2001 for that year.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:22 | 2389863 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Dealing smack bitchez.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:40 | 2389660 libertus
libertus's picture

What will the Muppet say this time? 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:07 | 2389730 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Why would ANYONE waste part of their life listening to the Prevaricator n Thief, on any issue............??

I do not get it, its about nothing but VOTES.

Sorry dude we aint buying that pile AGAIN.( Didn't the first time either).

Talk all you want, and line Karzi's pockets(which you damn sure are), so you (after nearly 4yrs are trying to act like your DOING something for da peoples.

UpUr's,you most  pitiful excuse for a President we have ever seen.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:42 | 2389668 yochananmichael
yochananmichael's picture

Truman defeated Hitler and Nixon landed on the moon

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:43 | 2389670 General Decline
General Decline's picture

I've been anticipating this all day. I didn't watch it but I'm sure he said some very reassuring things about peace and democracy.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:47 | 2389682 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

+1 for use of sarcasm

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:44 | 2389671 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

It's wonderful all the places we've been that we Americans never even heard of before! It's like a big study abroad program! Where should we go next??

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:36 | 2389780 prole
prole's picture

Whoa! Hold on there Hoss!!

Who Exactly is "We?" I am not getting me head blown off in Afpak. Are you getting your head bown off in Afganisnam? I seriously doubt it.

I give you a red card for felonious use of the word "we" while you (and I) are miles and miles from the kill zone. "We" is not involved in any way.

(I realize I made a mistake, unless you are .gov, then "we" are paying for the whole fiasco, so "we" are involved)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:43 | 2389673 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:43 | 2389791 prole
prole's picture

That is so ******* funny I can't believe it. After two beers it's even funnier than one might think. And it so perfectly illustrates the farce of a difference between Dem/Rep establishment Totuses.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:53 | 2389809 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

only thing missing is the stupid fucking flight suit.

However, the only thing Obama can pilot is bullshit flying out of his mouth.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:27 | 2389866 libertus
libertus's picture

DOTUS=Dictator of the United States? 

COTUS=Clown of the United States

CSOTUS=Corporate Stooge of the United States.

CTOTUS=Corporate Tool of the United States. (I like this one the best.)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:50 | 2389896 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Slimy Criminal Recidivist of the United States= SCROTUS

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:21 | 2389859 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Is that Larry Sinclair under the podium?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:44 | 2389674 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

nice green screen trickery lol

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:45 | 2389675 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Widening lens as God is invoked and the speech ends, exiting slowly between the trucks.

Folks, we are in deep shit.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:21 | 2389857 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

I wish they would just hurry the fuck up already. I have a life in progress and would like to plan accordingly.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:30 | 2389871 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Just brush up on chain smoking and shitting your pants and you'll be fine............

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:32 | 2389872 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Go West young man.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:05 | 2390124 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Trav.  Is that you?  Fuckhole.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:44 | 2389676 CommonSense89
CommonSense89's picture

If I had only a transcript to look at, I'd swear this was a Bush speech from 5-8 years ago. Hope and Change baby!

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 08:28 | 2390705 taxpayer102
taxpayer102's picture


Or Nixon's Novemeber 3, 1969 speech.  The war didn't end until five years after his speech.

"There are powerful personal reasons I want to end this war. This week I will have to sign 83 letters to mothers,
fathers, wives, and loved ones of men who have given their lives for America in Vietnam. It is very little
satisfaction to me that this is only one-third as many letters as I signed the first week in office. There is
nothing I want more than to see the day come when I do not have to write any of those letters.

I want to end the war to save the lives of those brave young men in Vietnam.

But I want to end it in a way which will increase the chance that their younger brothers and their sons will not
have to fight in some future Vietnam someplace in the world.

And I want to end the war for another reason. I want to end it so that the energy and dedication of you, our
young people, now too often directed into bitter hatred against those responsible for the war, can be turned to
the great challenges of peace, a better life for all Americans, a better life for all people on this earth.

I have chosen a plan for peace. I believe it will succeed."


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:46 | 2389681 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Guy is a total fucktard. I say with complete and utter contempt

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:51 | 2389688 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

OMG ! The actual speech is funnier than the spoof I did of it on the earlier Obama thread.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:53 | 2389695 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Spike that ball.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:19 | 2389749 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

You mean a bowling ball? Y'know, because he was so good at drilling them into the boards...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:14 | 2389850 nmewn
nmewn's picture

About like his pitching...five feet in front of the plate....but I understand he's very athletic ;-)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:41 | 2390058 gtb
gtb's picture

And we're supposed to believe he's not gay.  Sure.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 19:59 | 2389712 f16hoser
f16hoser's picture

How many guns under the big-top? Or perhaps, they're all at the door? The only thing missing is a big red nose and floppy shoes.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:02 | 2389717 General Decline
General Decline's picture

Is it just me or was I hearing clown music while he was talking?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:04 | 2389721 nmewn
nmewn's picture

All "guns" were unloaded in Colombia.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:45 | 2389799 prole
prole's picture

Technically AG sent most of them to the Sinaloa Cartel

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:20 | 2389856 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Excellent point, speaking of the law and the unintended consequences of holding oneself above it.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:07 | 2389731 walcott
walcott's picture

The war of terror on America's kids

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:10 | 2389733 sitenine
sitenine's picture

LIVE!  Brought to you straight from Kabul (or so they say)!  He brings with him a bag of campaign propaganda that you are sure to enjoy!  The man you love to hate!  OBAMY!!! 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:15 | 2389741 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...afterwards, hor dourves will be served in doggy bags on the poop deck.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:46 | 2389801 prole
prole's picture

More like body bags...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:15 | 2389742 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Where was the parade of missiles ? I'm waiting patiently to see him show up in full military regalia, like some third world dictator. Loaded with shiny medals and dark sunglasses.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:28 | 2389761 Dr. Gonzo
Dr. Gonzo's picture

Yeah baby! This ain't no joke. I can't even tell you how many terrorist cells we are fighting tooth and nail on American Network TV. Shit. last night there was some sort of Small Pox outbreak on Hawaii 5-0 form a crazy terroist group. All this stuff is probably true too. They must all be lurking around every corner so of course we have to pretend we like them and then take over their country and pretend to be their best friend. Suckers! Good job Obama! They are so stupid. The Navy Seals are kicking some more terrorst ass on CBS right now so I gotta go watch some more terrorist butt being kicked  on TV. God I love it.  I can't get enough of it. I'm gonna get some Toby Keith T-shirts about kicking terrorist butt and try to pick up some chicks at the basr this weekend. 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:39 | 2389880 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

Natalie was right.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:28 | 2389764 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

How does one end a war "responsibly"?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:34 | 2389873 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

With an apology and a few trillion in taxpayer dollars to rebuild what is left of their country after we bled all over it.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:19 | 2390153 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


How does one end a war "responsibly"?

Public trials of those responsible for starting it?


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:30 | 2389772 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture



The Gutsiness of the Man Who Killed Osama bin Laden 

Watch >>> Remembering the Victims of Communism 

Ask yourself, did I read or experience this event before. Who is the architect behind this manipulation of cultural changes & ideologies? 

Once again, the culprits of decisive behavior become apparent.  

Immanuel Wallerstein - Culture as a reflection-arena and as a battleground 

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:45 | 2389794 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

The fun thing about imbeciles acting like idiots, in states of desperation and fear, not really knowing themselves that they're acting like morons, is that they are reassured by other imbeciles that they're acting just fine...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:44 | 2389796 Hangfire
Hangfire's picture

Last I checked there's been over 1300 American service members killed in Afghanistan since you took over.  That's twice the amount in half the time of your predecessor/protege.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:44 | 2389798 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

For a country of over three hundred million, the best candidates for President they can come up with is Obama, whose only redeeming qualities are he doesn't screw around on his wife that we know of and he loves to make speeches which he doesn't back up, and Romney who is famous for having money and that is about it.

Dang, I don't see "leader" here at all.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 20:58 | 2389819 ffart
ffart's picture

Are you kidding? With those stories about his staff involved with hookers? And I bet Michelle keeps her own stable too. I see her as the dom and @b@m@ as more of a sissy-boy sub with a sadistic fetich.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:43 | 2389885 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Probably that poor little weasel Jay Carney is her bitch boy

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:33 | 2390420 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Cherry, have you not seen Madsen's stories about the gay bath houses in Shitcago? I'm not saying I believe them, but...

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:06 | 2389829 Cycle
Cycle's picture

The Democratic Party manifestation of the two-headed Fascist hydra once again spouts the usual platitudes while American and Afghani blood is mixed into Lockheed-Martin cocktails. The gradual shift from a Republic to a corrupt kleptocratic Empire is nearly complete. And Americans are to blame - since in the aggregate they seem ready to swallow whatever swill this administration generates to keep the mil-ind/financial-ind complex happily sucking down resources.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:11 | 2389967 Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby's picture

Res publica mortuus est, vivat imperium

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:17 | 2389842 blindman
blindman's picture

the masters of cognitive dissonance have infiltrated
this poor man's mind. this poor kenyan is fading i
fear, i doubt he will be able to sustain the grueling
reelection schedule. his party needs to either get a
doppelganger or have bill clinton do some campaigning
on his behalf, he needs some rest. i don't think he
even understands the words he is saying, he certainly
doesn't understand the meaning of the phrases and sentences,
the ideas don't even make any sense.
Obama address from Afghanistan
By The Hill Staff - 05/01/12 07:03 PM ET
it is like they have him on some antidepressants or something?
the medications are all wrong. the kenyan doesn't even know
about the cia and the mujahideen, his ignorance (lying) is so
brutally obvious.
" The mujahideen were significantly financed, armed and trained by the United States [Central Intelligence Agency] (CIA) during the administrations of Jimmy Carter[39] and Ronald Reagan, and also by Saudi Arabia, Pakistan under Zia-ul-Haq, Iran, the People's Republic of China and several Western European countries. Pakistan's secret service, Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), was used as an intermediary for most of these activities to disguise the sources of support for the resistance. One of the CIA's longest and most expensive covert operations was the supplying of billions of dollars in arms to the Afghan mujahideen militants. The arms included Stinger missiles, shoulder-fired, antiaircraft weapons that they used..." wiki
Your Tax Dollars At War
i guess they will all be war time president from here on out, even the humble
kenyans. the thing is that as futile and insignificant as this post i write is
that same insignificance is now evident in the words of our leaders and this is
in no way reassuring. not their positions and decisions and orders, their words
have become hollow. there will be an effect.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:11 | 2389845 Anarchyteez
Anarchyteez's picture

Shit! Why can I not wake from this fucking dream?!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:18 | 2389854 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

Anyone else see the story about a white couple beaten by 100 community youth in Norfolk?

Me neither.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:45 | 2389888 KowPie
KowPie's picture

You mean this one...


...the one that fails to mention race until it brings up Trayvon? ...then quickly the incident thusly: "Trayvon Martin, an unarmed black teen, died after being shot by a community watch captain with white and Hispanic parents, George Zimmerman, in Florida"

The only mention of the mob of black hoodrats that attacked the white couple is via a quote from twitter. Even then the substance of the article is diverted to that piece of shit that got whacked. What a croc of shit. Everyone is so fucking politically correct and brainwashed in this fucked up country it's sickening. Bring on the collapse, sooner better than later.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:08 | 2389954 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

That was the editorial, still waiting on a news story.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:09 | 2389958 KowPie
KowPie's picture

Don't hold your breath. That's probably as close as it will ever get.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:46 | 2390309 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture

Great to see you back here, Trav, doing your thing!

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:46 | 2389886 Bob
Bob's picture

By Ralph Nader

(The imagined conversation between the Ghost of Osama bin Laden and President Barack Obama)

The Ghost of Osama bin Laden swirled into the Oval Office where Barack Obama was spending the evening going over a pile of requested sign-offs for drone missions.

Osama’s Ghost: “Mind if we have a conversation one year after you dispatched my body to the ocean sharks?”

With curiosity reigning supreme, President Obama replied, “Ok, so long as you remain hovering and do not alight to defile this solemn room.”

Osama’s Ghost: “Thank you. After your SEALs bravely shot, rather than captured, me while I was defenseless in my bedroom, you told your nation that ‘for the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country.’”

“Correct, the form of your presence now attests to that fact,” the President curtly declared.

Osama’s Ghost: “You completely misunderstood. You see my work was completed by the evening of September 11, 2001. After that, the terror that I wanted to implant in American hearts was continued and intensified by George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and you far, far beyond what our little, exaggerated al-Qaeda could ever dream of doing.”

“How so? Make it short!” Obama demanded.

Osama’s Ghost: “Okay, you want it short? You and your predecessors are ones who, for over a decade, starved your domestic needs in favor of huge military adventures in Asia and Africa, took away the freedoms of your people and replaced them with fear and anxiety over the wildly overblown but very profitable war on terror. You destroyed the esteem of the world’s people by reacting to 9/11 with aggressive attacks, torture, indefinite imprisonment without charges, secret laws, secret evidence, secret prisons and routine violations of national borders. You backed tyrants in these countries who slay and loot their own people with U.S. weapons, predatory corporations and political cover. You spy everywhere on the American people and watch your own soldiers commit suicide in record numbers. Do you know why these American soldiers are killing themselves, Mr. President?”

“You tell me, Dr. Freud,” said President Obama.

Osama’s Ghost: “Because when you send them to Iraq and Afghanistan for wars not of defense but of aggression, and they end up killing so many innocent women, children and men, their consciences are traumatized. Your generals like to say their brains are physically traumatized. By what? Your adversaries have no artillery, bombers and missiles to do that job. It is the trauma of their conscience when they see the burned, broken and dismembered bodies of little children and their mothers and fathers in their homes, mosques, or markets. People were blown up while just gathering together to collect wood or participate in wedding processions. In addition, they see the daily suffering of millions who are maimed and homeless.”

“You should talk, after the massacre of my people on 9/11,” exclaimed President Obama.

Osama’s Ghost: “But at least the attackers went ‘down with the ship’, as you Americans say, and this attack was designed to make you suffer like you have made us suffer a millionfold over the decades. As a scholar and a son of Africa, you should understand what life is like under American-supported tyrants. Imagine American military bases – even in our holy lands – and the brutal suppression of any resistance to overturn these puppet dictators and expel their infidel masters from the West. If you were not in our backyard, including the Palestinian nakba, or catastrophe, which the U.S. made happen, our martyrs would never have gone to New York and Washington on 9/11.”

“Do not lump me in the same room with Bush and Cheney,” said an irritated Obama. “They lied this great nation into the invasion of Iraq and played right into your hands, as Bush’s own anti-terrorism advisor, Richard Clarke wrote. I opposed this war but vowed to clear al-Qaeda out of Afghanistan by shifting our soldiers from Iraq. You know what happened to you all after that, don’t you, Ghost?”

Osama’s Ghost: “Yes, Mr. President. Al-Qaeda is not much in Afghanistan, having decided to migrate its activities to Pakistan and encourage our brothers in Yemen, Somalia and North Africa. They are moving into Syria from al-Qaeda in Iraq where it first surfaced thanks to your invasion. The word used by the CIA is ‘blowback.’ But no one is furthering our basic mission of weakening the U.S. more than the rulers of the country are themselves. Look at your rich-poor economy; Wall Street’s destructive greed; crumbling schools, roads, transit, clinics, drinking water facilities; and starved public budgets for the most basic necessities of your people – food for the hungry, healing for the sick, shelter for the homeless.”

Osama’s Ghost: “Even your people overwhelmingly say that America is going in the wrong direction and they want out of Afghanistan. What is a democracy for anyway, Mr. President? Again, you’re doing al-Qaeda’s job – weakening your country to bankruptcy until it can no longer continue ‘messing in our business’ as the Presidential candidate, Ron Paul, says daily. You see, at my compound in Abbottabad, reading occupied me. There was nothing left to do because you Americans cannot resist doing it to yourselves year after year. Given my lack of precautions, I didn’t care if I was executed because my mission was fulfilled. Near the end, grieving over Muslims killing Muslims, I became a fatalistic mystic.”

“Are you finished, Ghost? I have to decide on some high value targets in three countries. The hunt will never cease,” said President Obama.

Osama’s Ghost: “But, Mr. President, you had the highest value target of all and you eliminated the chance to interrogate me. Think what I could have told you about the past 30 years for your intelligence services.”

“Tell me what, in a phrase. Your time is up!” declared President Obama.

Osama’s Ghost: “Well…thank you, thank you for all that you, Mr. Bush, and Mr. Cheney have done, Mr. President.”

Whereupon the Ghost evaporated into the ether and the president started signing.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:42 | 2390066 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

"As a scholar and a son of Africa..."


Hahahaha.... you lost me with that crap.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:50 | 2389895 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:50 | 2389898 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Shit. I missed it. Did he flinch everytime there was a noise off-camera?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:51 | 2389901 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Oh. And what did the Secret Service chaperones look like? Margaret Thatcher?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 21:51 | 2389906 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

None of this will go on when President Romeny takes over! Bank on it! The stupid liberal wars will end and the domestic ban on oil drilling will also end. President Romney has years of Liberal Obama regulations to role back. Romeny will once again allow US oil companies to begin to drill for domestic oil and gas again. This will result in a jobs boom as the layed off oil workers are called back to the rigs. The mass unemployment in the oil patches will end.

President Romeny also has a lot of work to do to end the Obama wars and to rebuild the military that Obama defunded. Once again our troops will begin to be given weapons and new weapons will agin be designed and built. All this will take time as the Liberal Obama shut down the US defense industries by defunding weapons building. The underpayed troops may also begin to get decent pay again after the Obama pay cuts.

As for the job creators. President Romney will have to undo the years of Obama tax increases on the job creators. Under Obama all their income has been taken via record high taxes on the higher income earners in order to fund tax cuts for the poor.  Once taxes on the rich are reduced to reasonable levels again, then domestic job creation can begin again.

3 years of Obama has taken a victorious military and dismanteled the Bush war victories. Obama surrendered to terror and left our military without weapons or support to maintain the Bush conquests. Under the new President Romney we will see our military move into action against the greatest terror state on earth. Iran. Romney will have to move fast before the smoking gun becomes a mushroom cloud over Washington and New York.

Only a matter of months now before Americans can return to the prosperity, job growth, wealth creation and military glory of the Bush years. Better times are coming. I would go long stocks right now in order to be well postioned for the great economic boom of the coming decade.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:11 | 2389968 KowPie
KowPie's picture

you forgot your "sarc" tag

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:24 | 2390165 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

A sarc tag would ruin it.

It's a perception test.


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:12 | 2389972 Cycle
Cycle's picture

If enough Americans honestly believe the preceding convoluted and self-contradictory narrative, it explains a lot.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:41 | 2390062 blindman
blindman's picture

the only thing worse than four more years of the kenyan would be
one year under romney. the federal thing is "owned" by the long
shadows of neverland but they are erasing the general concept of
ownership as they mindlessly continue on with their crack pipe of
hopium on the butternut derivative, virtual fiat train robbery.
ron paul is the only hope, and he is just a hope, so the only thing
left is the will of the people but they have not been keen to
their own will for too long so it looks like four more years of
daily sudden death for breakfast. that is if the kenyan can keep
his advisers and close allies from destroying the world out of their
personal angst and frustration having been born merely human and with
limited actual talent and wisdom to match their over sized egos and
ambitions, there left with the alternative of destroying everything
they cannot comprehend or possess, everything that reminds them
of their humble mortality. the kenyan, being medicated, will
never notice, hasn't noticed, that he is surrounded by crooks.
i don't think he has actually realized that he is the president of
the united states of america. not yet. maybe he never will?
the typical american story fractally played out for the world to see?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:09 | 2390134 Cycle
Cycle's picture

I used to think he was just naive - but it soon became clear that was part of the schtick. Really good sociopaths can fool a lot of people a lot of the time.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 22:14 | 2389985 The Gooch
Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:04 | 2390122 theTribster
theTribster's picture

Somebody should have told the Afghanis that when you take out the leader you win the war. Kharzi is a sickening little puppet dictator, its so obvious even without the facts. I think his brother is the Herion kingpin, that never hurt when it's your number one export. I bet Kharzi is looking to create a trade surplus using the military as the transportation medium and of course the best security in the world. Why didn't the Russians figure this out, r they really that dumb?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:11 | 2390138 Brian219
Brian219's picture

His speeches are a complete waste of everyones time...........................


Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:20 | 2390162 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Again, freedom & democracy win the day. At last, our saviour/s! Where Alexander, the Brits, the Russians & every wannabe thru history failed, team A have won the day. Poppy fields eradicated, tribal differences healed, pipelines irrelevant, bodycount collateral damage, taxpayers' contributions neglible - we bow in your glory. What next great liberators, nation of peace & asset managers extrordinaire? Have to Lol no?

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:27 | 2390180 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Today, I listened to the speech and learned that you win a war by creating timelines, ah, ah, yeah, riiight.................

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:30 | 2390190 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

It is only to protect our national sequrity that we spend billions and billions and billions on the "war" in Afganis-shit-hole.  There are at least two and probably twice that many Al Queda guys there, and one is rumored to be less than 80 years old!  He has an AK-47 too.  We at least got the heroin flowing again... Thank Allah for Obama.

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:37 | 2390208 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

"I did it my way" is a title to a song made famous years ago and words which I can relate to.  It seems today there is no room left for people who wish to do it "My way."

The younger generation seems to be trapped in an endless cycle of education which does not teach them anything and when they go out with a smile on their face after complying with dictates of government and corporations to seek a "career" then they discover that all they were taught about life does not hold true in the "real" world.  At least that is the impression I am getting.

Who lied to our children?  Who lied to us, telling us it was best for our children?

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:26 | 2390413 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

You mean that tune by Sid Vicious, right? ;)

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 23:56 | 2390240 youngman
youngman's picture

I did not watch...I can´t anymore...I get sick....but were there any Afgan troops in the crowd...and did they go thru a big security check....or were they just let in because they are our new Non Nato know the same guys killing our guys.....I bet they had a security to me that makes his trip and speech a very big lie....

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:28 | 2390282 Demogorgon
Demogorgon's picture

Didn't watch. Doesn't matter what he says. Just another fucking puppet reading a teleprompter. Banksters are still in charge.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:25 | 2390411 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Absolutely, and spoken from such nice cheeks. Seriously, thanks for that. :)

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 00:45 | 2390307 dbomb12
dbomb12's picture

Just in case nobody has heard Obama killed Osama or now Usuma 1 year ago, braking news story on MSNBC

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 02:02 | 2390360 Breaker
Breaker's picture

"...where he [obama] is forming a strategic alliance with president Karzai, ..."

Does this phrase strike anyone else as bizarre?

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 02:22 | 2390368 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Good luck trying to get them to front you some. Dudes out of money.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:23 | 2390409 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

The cocaine guns of jamdown town

The killing clowns, the blood-money men

shooting those Washington bullets again


The place location changes, but the story does not. Timeless song, very appropriate here.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 03:33 | 2390417 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture


Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:34 | 2390453 acrabbe
acrabbe's picture

You guys can't be that ignorant, can you? A bunch of you are launching personal attacks against Obama like he is personally responsible for what he is saying and the bills he is signing. Time for a ZH crash course. Obama is a typical US President. He is a brainwashed, state of the art 21st Century mind-control product of the Military-Financial-Political-Pharmaceutical-Industrial Complex. He is also not stupid, and neither are his "handlers". You guys, on the other hand, are functional retards who would do well to listen more and learn from this site, rather than spew your thoughtless garbage all over the forums. The cognition level of the average ZH poster seems to be descending towards the moron level. I do believe the shills and spammers are winning... For example, how many times do we have to remind each other that the official 9/11 story was a paper-mache collage of bullshit. With the type of access to information available globally today, the crime was meant to fool only the least intelligent and most gullible of the mentally proficient population. Unfortunately we now know that a high percentage of the population fits that description.

Know your role and smarten up you fucking cock hounds. If you don't have anything additive or FUNNY to say just keep your mouth shut. Since when did we encourage the parading of nonsensical garbage posts as arguments that warrant attention?

Carry on...

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:57 | 2390469 Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

I'm pretty sure most here know he's a puppet.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 04:59 | 2390471 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Acrabbe, agree w/most of this, but importantly, does I'llbombya have any personal responsibility in this mess? Sure, he's a mouthpiece. Sure, some folks on here are ignorant haters (few). But isn't he a willing participant in a host of crimes? Hasn't he worked to earn the disrespect of the more erudite and logically gifted crowd? I think so.

Mock the monkey.

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 06:39 | 2390522 acrabbe
acrabbe's picture

I'm sorry but "mocking the monkey" to me hints at not having a full grasp of the global geopolitical situation. People who still believe in democrats, republicans and political choice are the kind of people who "mock the monkey". I mean there is really crazy shit going on right now on planet Earth and the same old jokes centered around race or incompetence just dont cut the mustard anymore. A slow and obsolete perspective of the world is shit and the people who stick to it are shit-for-brains. The jokes are tired. The jokes will keep coming.I'm really just venting at the preponderance of idiots on this site. Reading the comments used to be almost educational. Now you have to browse for a while before coming across something worth reading.

I just felt like saying something about it.

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