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Obama's Latest Bailout Plan Summarized In 4 Words: "3000 Bucks For Thingamajigs"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

For those who missed Obama's post-NFP sermon on Friday, here is a summary of the Keynesian-in-Chief's latest plan to fix the country: $3000 for everyone to buy "thingamajigs." We wish this was a joke.

The farce gets going 25 seconds in.

 

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:43 | 2491437 tsx500
tsx500's picture

NOBAMA 2012 ! ! !

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:49 | 2491481 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

NOBAMA NOROMNEY 2012!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:54 | 2491525 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Meet the new boss, same as the old - http://articles.cnn.com/2008-02-13/politics/bush.stimulus_1_rebate-checks-economic-stimulus-act-stimulus-bill?_s=PM:POLITICS

"The package will pay $600 to most individual taxpayers and $1,200 to married taxpayers filing joint returns, so long as they are below income caps of $75,000 for individuals and $150,000 for couples. There is also a $300 per child tax credit.Watch Bush sign stimulus bill into law"

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:55 | 2491538 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Hope and change kickin in.......finally!

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:02 | 2491566 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

 

I like $3,000?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:03 | 2491602 malikai
malikai's picture

O's got electrolytes, bro.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:04 | 2491612 Manthong
Manthong's picture

My thingamajig automatically goes up every morning and down when I go to sleep.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:27 | 2491719 Obummer
Obummer's picture

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Americans, good citizens of the world. You have heard me speak about our rapidly increasing Federal deficit.  You know that I have come out against the wasteful spending that characterizes our government, and you know that I feel that our inability to address the cause of our escalating debt is due to a lack of leadership in Congress and the failings of the Bush administration that I inherited only a few short years ago.

Good people of America, did you ever ask yourself, "What would I do if someone suddenly dropped three thousand dollars in my lap, right now?"  Folks, three thousand dollars is a lot of money.  I know what you could do with three thousand dollars.  We all have whatchamacallits and whozits and thingamajigs that we have to buy over and over to keep up with twenty-first century life.  Three thousand dollars would go a long way to buying these things, these necessities, and if everyone spent three thousand dollars at the same time, imagine the bump that would give our economy!

Well, if Congressional leadership is lacking then I will not sit idly by, not as long as I am President of this great country.  Today I am calling on Congress to provide tax breaks for each and every one of you to the tune of (pause for effect)  Three.  Thousand.  Dollars.  That's right, I said three thousand.  This will be money that will go directly into the pockets of the American people, just in time for election season so that you can use your thingamajigs to be sure to get out to the polls and vote.  Voting is what makes this country great!  And I know you are probably thinking that just because you already don't pay taxes you may be left out.  But don't worry, you will still get your fair share!

You may hear some people say that spending this kind of money on whatchamacallits and thingamabobbers and boondoggles is bad, that this is antithetical to American values.  But you know as well as I do that these people are extremists and fat cats and they don't want what is good for the American people, that these people want to take away your rightfully earned three thousand dollars.  Well, we are watching the situation closely.  And to these extremists let me be clear; the people will have their money; they will have their three thousand dollars.  We do this for the greater good of Americans of all walks of life.

Thank you, good night, and God bless America.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:28 | 2491761 fourchan
fourchan's picture

too bad china now makes all our thingamajigs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:35 | 2491801 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

Votes inflate too.

Someone tell him it's gonna take $30,000 2 buy my vote.  Hell yeah I'll thingamajig dat show like no tomorrow mofo.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:40 | 2491831 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

How many widgets can I buy for $3,000?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:54 | 2491902 Badabing
Badabing's picture

$3000 thats only $9,000,000,000 of printing. the banks got $700,000,000,000 for the first bailout we should get the same thats $233,000 each

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:55 | 2491924 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

WHO WANTS MONEY?!

- The President of the United States, Barack H. Obama, June 1st, 2012

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:01 | 2491940 Element
Element's picture

"It's for the greater-good." - Dr. Paul Special-K

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:09 | 2491987 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Speaking of crooks:

MF Global Trustee May Bring Corzine Negligence Claims

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-06-04/mf-global-trustee-believes-claims-may-be-made-against-corzine.html

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 14:50 | 2492920 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

I want to replace the thingamajig in the Oval Office. Can we do that for $3000, because I'd pay that amount to replace it. (And I'll pass around the hat to see if anyone else wants to get rid of him too.)

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:35 | 2492115 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

'$3000 thats only $9,000,000,000 of printing.'

 

I think you're missing a few 0's there. Try $900 billion. Waitaminute. $3,000?! Quick, someone get banzai7 on an bernanke indecent proposal, stat!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:43 | 2492364 Bwahaha WAGFDSMB
Bwahaha WAGFDSMB's picture

You would be correct if the population was only 3 million.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 13:14 | 2492474 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Isnt 'Thingamajigs' a racist term?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 15:28 | 2493052 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

To avoid future math problems use scientific notation:

3 x 10^3 ($bribe/person) * 3.5 * 10^8(US population) ~10^10^11 = 1 T$!  (A little less than our current deficit)

Ain't these community organizers great!

(I just want axcess to the $:  A real quote from a Rodney King rioter/looter when asked what this riot was all about)

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:40 | 2491832 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I'm with you. $3000 is not enough. I want $30000, and I want it before everyone else gets theirs so I can go out and buy PM before price takes off.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:10 | 2492239 Matt
Matt's picture

I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got who's-its and what's-its galore
You want thing-a-mabobs?
I've got twenty
But who cares? No big deal. I want more

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0r9W2Hlxa0

Maybe Banzai can go somewhere with this.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:54 | 2493908 hedgehog9999
hedgehog9999's picture

Agreed, $3000 of thingamagigs from this fucktard is a stimulus for the Chinese who specialize in making that kind of shit, 150M recipients is less than 1/2 Trillion, a few hundred points down on the DOW. 

Chomp change , or maybe Chimp change which is like,  I give you $3000 and you monkeys vote for me and the deficit increases another notch ......................if he gets re-elected, then we really deserve him!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 23:11 | 2494688 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Choom change... or maybe Choom we can believe in.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:56 | 2493913 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Agreed.  3000 is not enough.  Romney, what do you bid?  My vote goes to who ever gives me the most free shit.

Vote for congressman, at least $500.  Judges, city council -- $100 each.  Pay up, bitchez.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:11 | 2491892 Shocker
Shocker's picture

Because right now, businesses are hurting.

 

 

.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 14:14 | 2492777 Hi Ho Silver
Hi Ho Silver's picture

He doesn't need your vote.  Soros will be counting the ballots in Spain . ;o)

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:41 | 2491833 mcguire
mcguire's picture

from widget to thingamajig = progressive ebonic economic theory.. its the new thing(amajig).  

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:02 | 2491954 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Bushmaster makes some pretty nice thingamajigs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:24 | 2492063 tlnzz
tlnzz's picture

Yes they do. Lake City also.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:48 | 2492164 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Springfield Armory M1A SOCOM I ~$1600, plus either a Trijicon holographic sight or a decent scout scope ~$550, plus 1,000 rounds of 308 Winchester rounds ~$600 = $2750....leaving $250 for a nice Swamp Rat Ratmandu knife and gun cleaning supplies. 

Thanks Dear Leader!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:46 | 2491874 Element
Element's picture

No, this will not lead to ...

i n f l a t i o n

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:04 | 2491965 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

"What would I do if someone suddenly dropped three thousand dollars in my lap, right now?" "

Most of Obama's Base Voters would head straight to the local Casino with it, just like they do now at the first of every month, when the Free Gubment Money! comes...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:15 | 2492012 malikai
malikai's picture

Why? They'll get better odds at the local crackhouse.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491610 uno
uno's picture

O has caved to the 0.1% on everything important except for 1 thingamajig --- bombing Iran. That's why I see O not winning, remember it's not the voting that matters, it's who counts the votes - Iowa Primary this year.  BTW Romney is close friend with Netanyahu and will happily bomb Iran and be a good puppet for the 0.0001%.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:34 | 2491798 pods
pods's picture

Well, if the NYT story is correct, O has kept up a newer, more gentler type of warfare with Iran.

pods

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:58 | 2492200 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

a virus begets a virus

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:44 | 2491858 AGuy
AGuy's picture

Let's See $3000 * 300 Million Americans = $900 Billion. Or was this just for taxpayers (excluding non-working people)?

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:59 | 2491939 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Just for the "taxpayers" who pay no income taxes.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:31 | 2491776 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

Don't buy the hype. He's just trying to save the Facebomb IPO. "Thingamajigs" is code for "Facebook shares".

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:09 | 2491991 mendigo
mendigo's picture

OMG
I fear you may be onto something. Oh the pain. A ponzi sharing plan.
I am waiting for the counter-offer myself.
Perhaps Mr Paul could offer a nice even Eagle.
Bring-it on baby!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:53 | 2491853 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

This cheap hustler will stop at nothing to get reelected. I'm waiting for his 'October Surprise' student loan forgiveness plan...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:38 | 2492124 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

These cheap hustlers will stop at nothing to get reelected. I'm waiting for their 'October Surprise' student loan forgiveness plan...

 

There, fixed it since you forgot CONgress and the rest of the criminals running the show.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:56 | 2491542 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

He's pretty smart for saying that. It could mean gold/silver coins or firearms.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:04 | 2491609 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

FREE OBAMA MONEY, FROM HIS STASH!!

Does anybody in the media recall this is what Bush did?? Or is the politically-correct DoubleThink too strong?

Also, does anyone remember that the REPUBLICAN Stimulus Plan was to give every TAXPAYER $5,000 in early 2009, instead of giving trillions to Obama's cronies as political payback?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:25 | 2491747 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Ghetto

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:20 | 2492044 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Hmm I like it.
An (color) Ipad in every home.
I hope those guys are taking notes.
Janice needs to work that in:Oh Lord won't you buy me a new SUV. My friends all got Ipads and I'm stuck with this PC.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:39 | 2491826 Yankee.go.home
Yankee.go.home's picture

"THANK YOU."

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:56 | 2491929 GoBadgers
GoBadgers's picture

Yes, I remember that. But what's really amazing is they gave the current mouthpiece a Noble Prize and his acolytes believed he was The Messiah v2.0.

And now he's a economic genius. The miracles never cease.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:37 | 2491807 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Ah since I work 70 hours per week I guess I don't get the motherfucking freebie.  At least I can pay for it, though. Fuck this *********** ************ shithole.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:52 | 2491911 Debugas
Debugas's picture

you should stop working for dollars and start working for things obama can not print (like gold etc)

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:57 | 2491933 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Well there is some flowthrough to things like PMs and mining shares...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:02 | 2491957 marriedgeordie
marriedgeordie's picture

Oh yeah I remember that one - spent the money towards my vacation in Greece then. True story.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:16 | 2494301 Prometheus418
Prometheus418's picture

I'll do the same thing this time I did last time- $600 got me a spankin' new 30-30 with a Bushnell elite firefly scope.  Didn't figure a lever action needed a scope like that, so I traded it for a pretty decent 870 Wingmaster.

Sure, not as evil-looking as some prefer, but they do the trick in a pinch.  $3000 will get me a 1911 and a tactical .410 for the misses, with a little left over for PMs and dried beans.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:33 | 2492110 toady
toady's picture

I hated that shit then, and I REALLY HATE that shit now. Why does this only come up in an election year? Hmmmm, buying votes maybe?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:37 | 2491810 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

It reminds me of the Town Hall meeting Obama had during his 2008 campaign, i believe...

He completely stutters and is absent minded when teleprompter FAILS...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDJSVPAx8xclol

lol at breathalyzer for asthma patient.

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:46 | 2491871 F. Bastiat
F. Bastiat's picture

Well, at least Romney would not actively and purposely undermine the country and its Constitution as the Hawaiian Allende is doing.  While perhaps not the optimal choice, Romney's still a better choice.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:28 | 2492089 ITrustMyGut
ITrustMyGut's picture

time to lower your current dosage friend...

obama = bush3

oromney = bush4

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:47 | 2492156 F. Bastiat
F. Bastiat's picture

Not even close.  Obama makes George W. look like Albert Einstein and Bill Clinton look like Abe Lincoln.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:59 | 2492206 pods
pods's picture

Hmmm, maybe he is still stuck reading the 1st amendment.

"Deadly assault weapons have no place in Massachusetts,” Romney said, at a bill signing ceremony with legislators, sportsmen’s groups and gun safety advocates.  “These guns are not made for recreation or self-defense.  They are instruments of destruction with the sole purpose of hunting down and killing people.

-Mitt Romney”

I didn't know that the 2nd amendment was unclear:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

(I used the commonly accepted as ratified version of the amendment, which is a bit more ambiguous as it removes some commas. The version ratified by Congress was much clearer.)

pods 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:35 | 2492331 F. Bastiat
F. Bastiat's picture

I'm not claiming Romney's great; I'm simply claiming that he doesn't have a history of actively undermining the US Constitution and actively attacking the fiscal integrity of the United States government, as the Hawaiian Allende does.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:50 | 2492390 pods
pods's picture

Well if you are claiming he doesn't have a history of actively undermining the US Constitution then you have not read the post you were replying to.

Unless you are now using the conjunction "actively undermining the US constitution AND actively attacking the fiscal integrity of the United States government" as your premise.

To that I would chuckle when you lump US government and fiscal integrity together in the same sentence.

And it case you might think I am supportive of the other side due to my argument, I see no acceptable evidence that he was actually born in Hawaii.

pods

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:56 | 2492414 Bwahaha WAGFDSMB
Bwahaha WAGFDSMB's picture

How is undermining the second amendment not undermining the constitution?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:53 | 2491513 Doña K
Doña K's picture

If you gonna print and give to banks, might as well give some of that to the people. Helicopter drop to each household= tax break for those who pay taxes and gift to those who don't.

That's how you buy votes. Brilliand

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:57 | 2491540 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Considering I still owe over $4k to Uncle Sam, I would bet this stimulus would be credited to what I "owe".  Then again, I am one of those evil rich people whole will make more money than what is allowed for this helicopter drop.

In any event, I guess Obama has some Bernanke mini-copters - http://www.amazon.com/Wheels-Propper-Chopper-Helicopter-Folding/dp/B003S5RXCC

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:16 | 2491701 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

They'll put it in your pocket with one hand while the other lifts your wallet.  How's that $3000 compare to the tax bomb coming 1/1/13? Remember the 'stimulus' in 2008? They put $6-1200 in everyone's pocket with borrowed money and then they Hoovered it back out by running gas up to $4+ a gallon. How long did that money last?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:32 | 2491784 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

WTF?  I missed that one, 6-800 in every pocket except for your disabled vets, we got 250.  I do not favor any stimulus aside from a days pay for a days work, but if you are going to drop money on the public it damned well needs to be equal. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:59 | 2491938 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Well I didn't see it at all. I'm self employed and was told it was not available except as a tax credit but for whatever reason my accountant said I wouldn't see it...frankly I could give a crap about $600 or $3000, I just want to keep it in my pocket in the first place. Why give it to .Gov and have them blow it and borrow it back from the Chinese and then send it back to me. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:09 | 2491986 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Don't you remember Bush's $300-$600 deal?  Handing that shit out like making it rain on hookers at scores...  where did that money go?  It literally did nothing to stall the crash...  not even a hiccup or second look...  nosedive. 

There is a fundamental misunderstanding about what "rational" people do with money when it's just handed to them...  we cannot model moral hazard...  if we desire certainty and consistency, then moral hazard simply has to be avoided...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:16 | 2491702 XitSam
XitSam's picture

But cancelling your debt to the government would not be stimulative. They will actually give you the FRNs and prevent you from paying off the debt with it. Don't think so? They prevented banks from repaying bailout loans early.

Notice how he is hunched over the lectern, head bobbing left and right to the teleprompters. It takes him a little bit to realize he got a laugh, a positive reaction, and see how his attitude changes from another dreary speech he has to give to happy Barack, smiles, he stands up straight, ad libs some to continue the laugh.  What this guy truly wants is not respect or support, but to be adored. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:23 | 2492057 Crumbles
Crumbles's picture

First impression when viewing the (thankfully short) video was that it played just like any game show where the host actor suddenly got a lift from the audience during a bunch of dull contestants and played it for laughter - the equivalent of love from an audiance.

As seen on any campaign trail, Obummer just wants to be loved, by anyone and everyone, and laughter seems to be the best substitute - after all, it worked for Carson, and Leno, and (Bob) Hope - some of the best-loved men in the televised media for 40 - 50 years.

And, like the others, Obummer is just an actor - doing the bidding of some directors, whose names we dare not speak.

Does Lord Rothschild come to mind ???  Wonder who all will be on the conference call tomorrow?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:11 | 2491662 CommunityStandard
CommunityStandard's picture

Not surprised at all.  The last two QEs were eaten by the banks.  If given to the people to spend, it'll actually enter the economy, be spent on ithings, and then stuffed into Apple's engorged cash account.  Inflation - check.  Bought votes - check.  Obummer 2012.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:54 | 2491527 ArkansasAngie
ArkansasAngie's picture

Neither a Republican nor Democrat be

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:55 | 2491532 BabyShoes
BabyShoes's picture

Give me $3000 so I can buy some silver and gold thingamajigs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:57 | 2491553 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I'm never going to get my washout gold fills am I?  wtf

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:33 | 2491791 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

If they give me $3000 I will use it to file Chapter 7 and leave the country.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:38 | 2491820 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

LOL nice.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:34 | 2491794 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

My name on the NYT website was nobamanomour- until they blocked me... Clicked on ob's banner ad for dinner with bo. (ZH can always use a little coin) Noticed his site asks what "state/region/province" you are from. Canada uses provinces. I thought we used states down here. Ain't it illegal to take $$$ from non US sources for fed campaigns?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:41 | 2491835 William113
William113's picture

I want mine in GOLD please.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:02 | 2491958 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Hail to the 44th and Bestest White President ever!!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:15 | 2492013 Seafarer57
Seafarer57's picture

Tyler-did you mean Keyan-in-chief instead of Keynesian-in-chief? A common oversight.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 15:40 | 2493114 John_Coltrane
John_Coltrane's picture

Love that motto:  where can I get one for my car?

Obummer 2012:  "Lean forward taxpayer, we're not done yet!"

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:40 | 2492129 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

BULLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIISH(it)!!!!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:27 | 2492304 rotagen
rotagen's picture

Dumb guys make me feel all warm and cozy inside.  Gee he's a swell guy Wally!  Meet me at the malt shop.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 23:49 | 2494761 Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

A skeptic might say that Obama was trying to buy millions of thingamajigs for $3,000 each, if by "thingamajigs" you meant "votes". 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:44 | 2491440 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

But, I'm in dire need of some whatchamacallits.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:49 | 2491483 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

 

 

 

No no no.  Not whatchamacallits.  

You can't buy whatchamacallits with government money.  That's crazy.  

Thingamajigs.  That's it.  Buy thingamajigs.  It's the patriotic thing to do.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:53 | 2491516 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

So you're saying the whatchamacallit manufacturers better step up their support for the president's reelection?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:55 | 2491539 thecoloredsky
thecoloredsky's picture

I say this is discrimination against the widget manufacturers.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:58 | 2491567 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

That's dat ole boolshit

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:59 | 2491572 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

They are all in China anyway, so what's the diff. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:59 | 2491574 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

"If you don't buy Thingamajigs, the terrorists will win.  Go shopping bitchez."  George W. Obama.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491604 resurger
resurger's picture

3X thingamajigs & 2whatchamacallits!!!!

it's1778- punch it innnnnnnnnn

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:34 | 2491795 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Or lever up with Whatchamacall options and Thingamaputs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:11 | 2491666 jimijon
jimijon's picture

And what about Sprockets?! Here at Spacely Sprockets we are also feeling slighted. Are our spockets not good enough? Are our lobbying efforts not lavish enough.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:55 | 2491925 Argonaught
Argonaught's picture

The big O didn't touch your monkey?   Oh ah...wrong Sprockets

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 14:41 | 2492886 midgetrannyporn
midgetrannyporn's picture

I prefer Cogswell Cogs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:13 | 2491676 Kayman
Kayman's picture

$3000 to encourage hiring = good idea

$3000 to buy shit from China = dumb idea

But let's consider the source.  An American politician.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:12 | 2491671 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

The Whatchamacallit Manufacturers better step up their support for the president's reelection, or the IRS,DOJ, EPA, and Jesse Jackson is liable to show up at the door.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:40 | 2491828 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

How the heck is this going to help? Every damn whatchamcallit and thingmajigs I see nowadays are made in China.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:03 | 2491960 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Mmmm, Whatchamcallits, the best candy bar ever.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:53 | 2491519 resurger
resurger's picture

lol

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:57 | 2491555 valley chick
valley chick's picture

damn...I was sure hoping for some gizmos...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:15 | 2491687 Kayman
Kayman's picture

Balderdash !  I make doomahickeys and I am pissed.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:44 | 2491444 malikai
malikai's picture

Baldrick has a cunning plan.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:47 | 2491471 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Blackadder +1485

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:20 | 2492040 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

BTW, for all the Blackadder fans out there, there's been talk for a few years now about the possibility of a new season (or "series" as the Brits say) of Blackadder, re-uniting the entire cast. The most recent talk (circa last October) is significant for the fact that its source was none other than Rowan Atkinson. Plenty of problems come to mind, such as Hugh Laurie's TV success this side of the pond means he commands a really huuuuge consignment of German sausage for his part in it ... or of it ?!

Here's a link to a story in The Mail with plenty of pics. Do try not to get distracted by all the stories running down the right side of the page about starlets in tiny bikinis and the astonishing length of the Duchess of Cambridge's legs and other such fluff ... pip pip, I say, carry on then.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2044028/Rowan-Atkinson-hint...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 13:37 | 2492613 Baldrick
Baldrick's picture

i am working on it right now.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:45 | 2491445 eurusdog
eurusdog's picture

Funny how his drawl comes and goes.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:51 | 2491498 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

for a zionist Kenyan raised in Indonesia, the Northeast and Hawaii he sure flips to a southern black preacher accent with some ease.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:12 | 2491672 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Gary Oldmam was on NRP over the weekend.  I'm not a huge movie buff, but I've always like Oldman and really like the Nolan's Batman movies.  For the life of me, I never knew he was British.  They were talking about accents and voice coaches and how he actually needed a voice coach to relearn his British accent.  I would bet every ounce of silver... he has coaches for this stuff.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:47 | 2491883 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Nah, he attended "Reverend" Wright's black church for 20 years straight.    He had calculated he wasn't black enough, culturally, and needed more cred in the community, back when he was trying to instigate hope and change via Saul Alinsky model community organizing.    The "me black people too" shtick is just that.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:34 | 2491793 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

He was in Golden Valley, Minnesota. I don't get it. Playing to the MPR snobs' white guilt self hatred?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:46 | 2491875 Cpl Hicks
Cpl Hicks's picture

Mebbe a bit of white guilt but likely a touch of the old fear of the angry black man; the shoutin', pulpit thumpin' righteous badass.

But then again it could just be the teleprompter talking.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:45 | 2491864 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

Zionist? ONly just before election time the rest of the four years he sold israel up the river.

 

I noticed the accent, too. I wonder who taught him the word whatchamacallit?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:30 | 2492097 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

poor Israel

poor, poor, poor Israel

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:51 | 2494043 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

unfortunate, not poor. Worked hard to create a nice house in a bad neighborhood. Lots of racists abroad who dont care.

 

Now that white people cannot pick on blacks or gays they need israel to be outlet for their tendency to hate

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 13:34 | 2492597 pods
pods's picture

So you must have missed the article about how he carried on Israel's battle plan with the Stuxnet virus?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:48 | 2494028 laosuwan
laosuwan's picture

no i did not miss the article that reported the program began before he became president or the propaganda, now that it is election time, that he was the one directing it, like the navy seals that resuced the american yach hostages, but in fact it was the seals and the nsa doing it by themselves and he reprimanded them for it later.

 

i also did not miss the articles about how he has treated israel's pm and how he has sided against israel on almost everything until now that the election is nearing and he needs jewish peoples' votes.

 

Back to the suject of his accent, I kind of detect a bit of racism to white people, a mocking tendancy, in his stereotype of poor white people who talk like that. Or maybe that is just my projection?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:47 | 2491446 Stackers
Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491450 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Sweet.  That will buy a shit load of ammo, brown rice and pinto beans and another 3 or 4 drums for the AK's.

THANKS BARACK!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:36 | 2491804 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Nearly two more ounces gold!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:45 | 2491866 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture

Not by the time you get it....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:30 | 2492100 Marginal Call
Marginal Call's picture

I hear you can make a little bit o' money in that there market thingy if you can accurately predict price movement.  Maybe, one should get da gold now.  And maybe a triple levered etf or some futures contracts.

 

Maybe. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:44 | 2491848 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Or one ounce of gold and changeyoucanbelievin.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491451 jefe95
jefe95's picture

wow

we are fooked.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:57 | 2491551 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

I think, um, I don't know, but I think you can write fucked on this site.  Can't you?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:05 | 2491618 fuu
fuu's picture

Fooked has a nice Scottish ring though.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:09 | 2491649 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

If you ran an east west line across the British Isles at the latitude where Birmingham is located "fooked" is in infact the correct usage of the word fucked north of this line.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491452 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

I need a thingamajig from the Asian massage parlour.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:49 | 2491484 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Funny I was just thinking more alone the lines of an asian for my thingamajig.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:53 | 2491515 Arnold Ziffel
Arnold Ziffel's picture

$3,000 will buy how many 'Happy Endings?'

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:56 | 2491546 Doña K
Doña K's picture

Depends were you are as the index varies

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:12 | 2491597 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

$3,000 will buy how many 'Happy Endings?'

 

Dunno.....where's Spitzer this morning?

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:50 | 2491896 This just in
This just in's picture

A majig for my thing.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 11:31 | 2492105 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Careful you don't wind up with something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O09K8EmURhM

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491454 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

is this a thing or a majig??

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:06 | 2491629 fuu
fuu's picture

Band name: Thing A and the Majigs.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 12:52 | 2492398 pods
pods's picture

I think they opened for the Choom gang, no?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 14:05 | 2492722 fuu
fuu's picture

I was actually thinking the Choom Gang would find Majigs to be racist.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:51 | 2494046 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture

I always wanted to start a country band called "Dick Deliverance and the City Slickers".

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491455 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

What is even more scarey is the audience seemed delighted with Barry and his promise of $3,000 and then laughed in unison at the thingamagig comment.  How did they manage to assemble a whole auditorium full of muppets I wonder?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:50 | 2491494 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

They took a survey and asked, "Are you in the market for thingamajigs?"  

 

Those who answered "yes", got dinner with Barack and Michelle.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:10 | 2491660 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Dinner is served:

- celery stick appetizer
- low sodium free-range chicken soup
- spinach leaf salad, no dressing
- kung-pao tofu main course
- sugar free fat free flavor free vanilla ice cream dessert
- 15.9 ounce diet coke

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:53 | 2491517 bshirley1968
bshirley1968's picture

If you haven't noticed, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the country is full of them.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:58 | 2491565 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

You're correct bshirley it never ceases to surprise me though :)

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:57 | 2491552 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

Look behind OBama and see the demographic his campaign team chose to have televised while he spoke. Voter persuasion is a subtle thing.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 10:09 | 2491630 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

"How did they manage to assemble a whole auditorium full of muppets I wonder?"

Maybe a $30 "advancement" was collected on the exit plus optional voter registration forms pack for the real patriots.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 09:46 | 2491458 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

With all due respect Tyler, the farce began with that speach in 2004 - not 25 seconds in.

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