Obama's Speech: Ali G Style

Tyler Durden's picture

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WestVillageIdiot's picture

You were able to read that?  I looked at it for 8 seconds and fell into a seizure. 

Dantzler's picture

but NO, my Canadian friend.


My great nation will thrive once we bring efficiency to our economy. For example, combining Pizza Hut & Taco Bell under one roof...



trav7777's picture

no, the canadian had it right

FEDbuster's picture

I miss the Ali G show.  An Ali G interview with Obama would have been piss your pants funny.

A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

Aren't all interviews with Obama piss your pants funny?

mojine's picture

Agreed - ALI G should have given this speech. Or President Camacho!


Also, I find it wonderfully ironic that AdSense plasters ZH with Obama ads. Make sure and click a few each day.

OldPhart's picture

Ran that through google translate...hmm...must be broken.

snakeboat's picture

It took a zen f'n master to write that and no real human can read it (not even chuck Norris)!

Sudden Debt's picture

I found it to be well written and finally without any spelling mistakes like all of you guys do so often!


OldPhart's picture

I think I read about two thirds of the first paragraph of the seeming endless run on sentence then gave up since I don't speak gibberish or jive.

What the hell was that shit anyway?

WestVillageIdiot's picture

Like the futures matter?  They will find a way to turn it green by 9:00 tomorrow.  LULU, CMG and AAPL will lead the way.  Now go put on your tights, eat a burrito, download an app to you iPad and shut your piehole like  a good little consumer. 

tarsubil's picture

High five! I uninstalled iTunes on my PC. My music comes from the pirate bay. No longer getting Jobbed by iHoles.

Reptil's picture

You do NOT have to go through iTunes to buy new music.

Support artists; if you like their music, buy it.
Otherwise you're just another scumbag thief.

A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

I don't have to buy music.


After getting shot in the head with a nail gun by accident I now hear Bananarama's "Cruel Summer" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

NumNutt's picture

I felt a disturbance in the force....It was like millions of paper fiat dollars cried out all at the same time, and then were converted to gold.......

CH1's picture

LOL... best line I've read in a long time!

Damn good thing I wasn't drinking anything.

scratch_and_sniff's picture

No, its because you're green.

PrintingPress's picture

bullish for onions!


hotkarlandtheclevelandsteamers's picture

Can a nigga get a tabledance.

Frank N. Beans's picture

Amen brother! Amen! Hallejujah!

AC_Doctor's picture

Snap cards for everyone of color!!

TwelfthVulture's picture

and free cellys so's we's can organize our flash robs.

IBelieveInMagic's picture

Ain't there 46 million on SNAP -- guess everyone of them then by your estimate?

Dirtt's picture

It's SNAP. Not Snap.  Back of the line for you.

A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000's picture

I thought it was "Yo SNAP!"


You know, like "Yo SNAP! Yo momma so fat that when she go campin da bears be hidin THEIR food!"

--Freedom--'s picture


OT, but, on to gold. Did anyone notice this:
I look at CNN maybe once a month. I go there and the first thing I see is a video about whether you should invest in gold. The guy says everybody should have 5% in gold. And this is the CNN homepage.
Does this worry anyone? Time to get out of gold? 
Or is this a stopped clock being right twice a day?

Long-John-Silver's picture

Wiemar style economic Armageddon is right around the corner and he suggests 5 cents of your investment dollar be hedged with Gold.

Think about surviving on 5% of everything you owned before the crash.

WestVillageIdiot's picture

So I get laid once every 20 years instead of once a year?  Big deal.

Our debt is about $15 trillion.  That is equal to about 8 billion ouncs of AU right now.  I believe that is more than there exists in all of the world.

For those that want to sell, sell.  I hope you enjoy giving blowjobs on Christopher Street to the fellas that have the Krugerrands. 

--Freedom--'s picture

Just got some nice kruggerands on the last dip at around 1750. Next time I'm in the city I will have to stop by Christopher street and cash one in (maybe a 1/10th oz) for that blow job.

LongBallsShortBrains's picture

The price of pussy drops in deflation and stagflation.

And inflation?

I never screwed a blow up doll.


10044's picture

I love it!! as long as prostitutes  like that tell people gold is 'commodity' and 'unsafe' and 'get away from it', i know for a fact that the bull market is fully intact. but the minute 'they' become bullish... oh my.. u don't wanna be there

--Freedom--'s picture

Yeah, that's pretty much what I think. The price got so high they can't ignore it, but he's not real bullish on it...yet.

WestVillageIdiot's picture

In all fairness to the skeptics AU is off almost 3% from its all-time high.  A crash like that can be scary for the average American.  I have a friend whose house is down about 40 percent from where he bought it in 2007.  This weekend he was telling me how stupid I am for not "owning".  Nothing says, "I love you" like a kick to the nuts.

--Freedom--'s picture

I've talked to two people currently underwater on their homes who said they wouldn't invest in gold because it is risky or volatile.
But, according to 2006, houses only go up.

monkeyshine's picture

You know you are reading zerohedge when you read people who consider a home and gold coins as mutually exclusive.

Irrational Exuberance's picture

Obama's, Romney's, and Rick Perry's B.S. smells as bad as the perfume on a cheap whore!

WestVillageIdiot's picture

What are you talking about?  They are cheap whores.

OldPhart's picture

I've never smelled perfume of any sort on a cheap whore.

um, I mean, um, I've never, um, associated with an, um, low rate, um, service sector, um, independent contractor, um, specializing in, um, personal services that, um, oh shit...