Panic In DC As Starbucks' Schultz Calls For CEO Boycott Of Campaign Donations, Urges Americans To Go On Strike Against Their Politicians

Tyler Durden's picture

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wang's picture
wang (not verified) Aug 15, 2011 12:58 PM

there'll be no Frappuccino for you

So Close's picture

In late breaking news the EPA has announced that high levels of pesticides have been discovered in Starbucks coffee.  A cease and desist order has been issued to the company to stop selling coffee at all of their stores until a full investigation can be completed.

vicorjh's picture

And further...

The US Congress has announced the formation of a Super Commitee to investigate the connection between Starbucks and the S&P, flash crashes, and insider trading prior to S&Ps downgrade.

Popo's picture

And the SEC is investigating accounting irregularities at the firm.  

Ahmeexnal's picture

I can see the headlines in a few days: Gulfstream explodes in mid-air with SB CEO aboard.

john39's picture

i doubt it man.  Starbucks is zionist controlled corporation.  he would not be doing this if it was not part of the script.

israhole's picture

Bingo!  Starbucks just LOVES Israel.

Michael's picture

Fuck the establishment, fuck the ZOG occupied MSM, and fuck the ZOG occupied government.

I'm voting for Ron Paul even if I have to write him in while voting against every incumbent on the ballot.

Ident 7777 economy's picture

I'm voting for Ron Paul even if I have to write him in while ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  More RON ick

 

Say it fast - and altogether.

 

.

Junius Americanus's picture

Check out the following website.  If this gets up and running in time, it will allow a Presidential candidate like Paul to win even if he gets sidelined by the MSM and the GOP. 

http://www.americanselect.org/

This makes the idea of a write-in President a little less moronic, in fact.  

Ident 7777 economy's picture

 

Check out the following website. If this gets up and running in time, it will allow a Presidential candidate like Paul to win even if he gets sidelined by the MSM and the GOP. 

- -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -  - -

SHAZAAM!

 

Why wasn't this thought of in 2008?

 

We wouldn't be in the center of the pickle we are now ...

 

Are we SMARTER now or WHAT?

 

 

And repeating - say it fast with me now:

 

                                          More RON ick

 

.

JW n FL's picture

I am voting repugnant!

but only so the fire will start sooner than later!

YEEEEE HAAAAAAAW

Ident 7777 economy's picture

Ssay it fast with me now:      More RON

JW n FL's picture

Dear Piggy,

dont you have someone to hand cuff and shoot in the back?

dont you have someone to taze and beat to death with 5 of your Piggy friends?

dont you have a 40 cal to clean while jerking off?

Say it with me.. FUCK YOU NAZI PIG!

squeal's picture

Somehow I don't think an oligarch witholding funds from congress to help spur austerity is in any danger.

 

If he'd said "cut pentagon spending" or "let's audit the Fed" that would be a different story.

rocker's picture

Don't Worry, The Supreme Court has already dictated:  We the Sheeple are for and by the Corportations of America.

Good News Alert: Campaign contributions limit has been raised to $5,000 per person.  Corporation limit is now 50 Zillion.

In other words, there is no limit for corporations. They own our political system. Shultz is a asshole if he thinks this will work.

Another way of thinking about it.  The rich control the USA.  We have given up our freedoms with the Patriot Act in the name of being safe.  LOL

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Where di he talk about austerity? By the looks of who he has donated to in the past he's probably pissed the gubbamint isn't giving him money to subsidize his coffee. Just think of all the jobs he could create if he could sell his coffee for a dime a cup!

Rick64's picture

When there is talk of budget cuts it usually involves austerity measures.

chumbawamba's picture

And lo and behold, it found that a lot of the profit was being skimmed and sent to bank accounts in Israel.

-Chumblez.

Chuck Walla's picture

"Hey, nice coffee place you have here. It'd be a pity if something happened to it!" You're in luck, the governemnt, in the form of its elected elite, sell insurnace at reasonable rates, like $2500 or so!

narnia's picture

in other news, the Federal Reserve & TBTF banks offered unlimited credit to any Starbucks' customers + the military industrial complex revealed Osama bin Laden was secretly plotting terrorist attacks with all of Starbucks' competitors...  in gratitude for their now complete mononpoly over political contributions.

scatterbrains's picture

oh boy, does XOM own any tanks or tow missles ? Corporate military campaigns bitches!

Caviar Emptor's picture

Lil too much Java drinking will affect your optimism neurons

schoolsout's picture

He's actually a pretty good manager and does a lot for his employees.  I respect him...

trav7777's picture

he's still a growth monkey...I love how they replaced the other CEO as sales slumped.  I mean news fucking flash...at what point did they think the market for $5 coffees could grow to infinity?

doomandbloom's picture

+ infinity

 

i often feel like slapping both the bloomberg and cnbc commentators when they start talking about growth!! 

Id fight Gandhi's picture

This guy wants us to pay $8 for a cup of coffee. He can go fornicate himself.

ZeroPower's picture

Bit of an exag..most ive paid is 4£

Id fight Gandhi's picture

It's still a cheap place to nurse a coffee, get free wifi and let unemployed look productive on laptops.

Lazlo Toth's picture

He pays in dollars which are worth... ummm....

Rockfish's picture

Baltimore metro are tall coffee $1.58 cream and sugar free.

bread n circuses's picture

wait for it....

 

wait for it...

dumpster's picture

please the shrill nonscience

a single shot americano  is less than 2 bucks

a cup of coffee 1.50 

the large foam, and sweets and party drinks are not coffee they are the junkies sweet tooth .

and your day job to delivery the cup of coffee to your female boss

 

 

JW n FL's picture

hey! hey!! just becuase I look all metro sexy ordering my foofy drinks all the time in there is no reason to kick me while I hang out with hawt chicks is it?

dumpster's picture

and have you ever started any thing in business bigger than a lemon aid stand

dont see any one with guns making any one buy a cup.. 

espirit's picture

Yeah, I can imagine all the other crony capitalists saying... "Shultz, you go first hawhawha".

john39's picture

hmm... sounds like the zionist banker cabal has kicked the austerity push into high gear in the U.S. now.

traderjoe's picture

I'm all for sound money and a balanced budget, BUT we must first REPUDIATE the debt. Our national debt is odious. Sovereign countries do not need to borrow their money from private corporations. Any move towards austerity before repudiation is a travesty on the people - in the support of our current debt. Mr. Shultz must have some Treasuries he wants paid back...

sunnydays's picture

Yea, to make sure all businesses are protected, the wealthy don't get a tax increase, the normal folks get taxed more and their SS benefits cut and cut all things for the middle class but keep the wealthy flowing.

Uhh... the politicians have never listened to the people, but golly gee they may just listen the the very few corporation owners, who are their masters after all.

-Michelle-'s picture

Aw, this almost makes me want to to out and buy an overpriced cup of overroasted coffee today.

Biosci's picture

Overroasted is right!  They could decrease costs, increase sales, and help address the energy issue if they'd turn the flamethrowers down a notch or two.

blunderdog's picture

There are usually two roasts offered--if you go with what they used to call "mild," you can actually get a decent cup of coffee.

(The blend I used to prefer was called "Yukon."  Medium roast, not burnt to charcoal.)

Cassandra Syndrome's picture

That was the very first thing I thought of. Ron isn't a corporate whore for the rent seekers, like the other parasites running for President. This move would put him into the driving seat. However I am sure the CEOs will realise that they need to back one of these candidates, as Ron Paul's vision of free market isn't compatible with their corporatism.