• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Pick The Odd Sell-Side Analyst Out

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presenting ZNGA's sellside coverage as of this afternoon. Pick the odd guy out.

Hint: this may be a trick question

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Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:41 | 2650990 boom goes the d...
boom goes the dynamite's picture

Boom goes the dynamite!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:49 | 2651019 veyron
veyron's picture

What happened to AAPL?  I think they were further off on AAPL than with ZNGA

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:00 | 2651068 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Eva Dimenson - Well thats why their not in the top 20!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:02 | 2651073 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

buy = sell

outperform = sell

hold = sell it ASAP

overweight = dump this turd like a fatso on a toilet

market perform = sell this and the market index ETF

 

sell = BUY on dips just like the prop traders

 

only trust analysts who have their retirement savings on the line.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:46 | 2651196 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Careful, Aldous -- sharing such privileged Street arcana with the hoi polloi [ Muppets ], may precipitate a carefully-placed banana peel on a subway platform, complimented by a brisk push to the back.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:02 | 2651233 Dermasolarapate...
Dermasolarapaterraphatrima's picture

what they MEANT to say is it's a buy at 50 cents.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:44 | 2650991 thomas pain
thomas pain's picture

EVA Dimension, are they even sell side?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651039 notbot
notbot's picture

It's a quant-driven rating, I think...not even a human.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:00 | 2651067 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

I think you got it....the machine had a better rating than the analysts, lol!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651087 Biosci
Biosci's picture

They are an intergalactic planetary firm.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:42 | 2650995 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

20/21 whores

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:43 | 2650997 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Where is the zero target price? 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:50 | 2651021 HD
HD's picture

It priced in virtual dollars.

To the moon!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:53 | 2651004 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Check out the squid analyst's linkedin profile. LMAO!

Attractive? WTF?

 

heath p. terry:

Specialties

Building networks of industry contacts, primary fundamental research, analyzing developing businesses and industries, valuing companies and securities.

He left off "experienced phone sterilizer".

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651043 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Specialties:

Being a fucking douche and a leech on society.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:02 | 2651074 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

he needs to brush up on #2, #3 and #4 just a little...

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:12 | 2651105 GAAPpreNixon
GAAPpreNixon's picture

Yep. It reminds of the sign I saw on the door of an office for the National Association of Telemarketers: Absolutely NO soliciting permitted

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:41 | 2651189 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Nor any mention of skullfucking muppets

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:46 | 2651005 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I give up, is it Michael Pachter from Wedbush with a $17 price target on July 19th?

He was only off by 90% in a four day market window.

Or is it Daniel Ernst from Hudson Square with a "buy" recommendation and a price target of $14?

He's only 85% off, and after all it isn't his money.

I'd bet CALPERS went all-in last Friday.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:01 | 2651066 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Might have to go w Atul Bagga at Lazard and his call YESTERDAY for $10. No, you're right. It's Pachter.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:09 | 2651096 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

LOL perfect, anyone who listened to him is now a BAGGA-holda

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:01 | 2651071 jekah
jekah's picture

I am thrilled that Michael Pachter is getting his due credit. This guy is an arrogant douche, who understands exactly nothing about game development and/or the related industry.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:33 | 2651164 GeoffreyT
GeoffreyT's picture

Y'all might recall that Pachter is the stupid cunt who dissed Mark Zuckerberg for refusing to wear a suit to the Facebook dog & pony show (the IPO promotional tour).

I have no view on Zuckerberg (or Facebook), but it's good that he doesn't think he should be taken seriously despite refusing to don $3k of bespoke suitings.

 

As I said at the time (see http://bit.ly/OFYeLd ):

So Michael Pachter showed the world he likes playing Dress-Ups like a fucking 5 year old girl. 

How come we're not past the idiotic idea that someone gains credibility by putting on a fucking $3000 suit?

Answer: by putting on a suit, retard Epsilon ticket-clippers like Pachter obtain credibility that they do not deserve. Simpletons are impressed by the idea that he appears to be able to afford a 'decent' suit - even if he's up to his balls in debt.

Obsession with what you wear is a hallmark of a shallow Valley-Girl/Kardashian mentality, that should be left where it belongs on the women's style pages along with tooth whiteners, hair dye, botox, face-paint and stripper heels.

I'm not particularly a fan of Zuckerbrg - I dunno enough about the guy. But on this issue, he's 100% right: the Street is FULL of people with nice suits who are full of shit. I'm certain that Stanford and Madoff looked a million bucks.

As my PhD supervisor ("Dicko") once said when he got an impromptu visit from the head of risk management at a major bank as he ("Dicko") was preparing for cricket practice... "Don't worry, Bob. I might be in sports kit, but I'm still as smart as I am when I wear one of those stupid monkey suits you guys insist on wearing."

("Dicko" did his PhD at Harvard, and was Leontief's grad student the year the big L won the Nobel Prize [1973]... he [Dicko] subsequently taught at Harvard, and is now the guy behind the US ITC's "USAGE" model. Doubtless he wore a suit when he testified in front of Congress on the economic consequences of immigration policy)

Fuck Pachter - it does not surprise me in the least that such a shallow fucktard makes such a lamentable call.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 22:19 | 2651759 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Don't beat around the bush Geoff - tell us what you really think of him

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:46 | 2651011 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am going to go with the guy with the most douchebaggy name so that must be Heath.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:47 | 2651014 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I can't even tell if there are two analysts listed or a first and last name or a last and first name. They must all be crimminals.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:49 | 2651018 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

I am going long sd card  and memorystick manufacturers. Gonna need those for the virtual tractor inventory stuffing after the government bailout.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651041 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Post of the day, excellent!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651042 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

doh

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:26 | 2651143 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

and videotaping protests

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:51 | 2651026 Duke of Con Dao
Duke of Con Dao's picture

I promise not to vid mash Zygna!

for your viewing pleasure: 

YouTube - MIDGET v. GIANT: You Didn't Build That, James Dean! says President Obama

Obama takes on Big Oil!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:52 | 2651029 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Is it IPO Financial who apparently have the entire 'Team' involved in coming to a 'Buy' recommendation?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:52 | 2651030 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Needham & Co. has got to be the answer. Everybody should already have canned hams buried in the back yard.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:54 | 2651034 vas deferens
vas deferens's picture

FB down 7.5%

Facebook picking up steam to the down side, riding the scat wave Zynga has left behind. 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:57 | 2651049 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

if ginger boi would just buy a few more worthless companies all will be well for FB. [/sarc]

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651044 Calidreaming
Calidreaming's picture

The winner is...... Goldman Sux

That is the answer to the question above.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651060 buzzsaw99
Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651057 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'm going with ATUL BAGGA from Lazard...with a name like that he at least has a fall back career at Home Depot.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651059 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Noticed that Lazard and Stifel Nicholas slapped buy rec's on it yesterday (to unload after they got a whisper number)?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651062 Nolsgrad
Nolsgrad's picture

how is virtual farms and myspace a 'sector'

 

sector perform is the odd one out

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651063 Darkness
Darkness's picture

What was his name and why is it not listed? 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:14 | 2651097 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

There is no name b.c it is a computer.

The computer is the only one who got it right. All the other analysts were wrong. Per EVA Dimensions (last on the list)

EVAntage Quant Data: We supply proprietary EVA Dimensions metrics.  Obtain raw and processed EVA metrics and factors, PRVit metrics and ratings, and target price valuations, per your requirements.

http://www.evadimensions.com/equityresearch

Humans are irrelevant.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:51 | 2651214 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

EVA: Just a moment, just a moment.........Dr. Bowman, I am picking up a fault in the comment #2651203

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:04 | 2651081 There is No Spoon
There is No Spoon's picture

well there's 24 ratings but the image shows only 21. there is one sell rating, it's not shown.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651090 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh those POOR, POOR muppets!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651091 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

For me the gold medal still goes to Ingrid Chung of GS slapping a strong buy and $330 target on NFLX literally hours before it began it's interminable plunge

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:15 | 2651113 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

Eva's the only one slightly hesitant...it's has to be Eva.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:15 | 2651115 JackT
JackT's picture

More timber for the fire

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:40 | 2651182 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Gotta luv it. "Trick question". LOLOL

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:40 | 2651183 web bot
web bot's picture

When they come with the pitchforks... they won't just be coming for bankers.

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