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Pick The Odd Sell-Side Analyst Out

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presenting ZNGA's sellside coverage as of this afternoon. Pick the odd guy out.

Hint: this may be a trick question

 

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Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:41 | 2650990 boom goes the d...
boom goes the dynamite's picture

Boom goes the dynamite!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:49 | 2651019 veyron
veyron's picture

What happened to AAPL?  I think they were further off on AAPL than with ZNGA

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:00 | 2651068 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Eva Dimenson - Well thats why their not in the top 20!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:02 | 2651073 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

buy = sell

outperform = sell

hold = sell it ASAP

overweight = dump this turd like a fatso on a toilet

market perform = sell this and the market index ETF

 

sell = BUY on dips just like the prop traders

 

only trust analysts who have their retirement savings on the line.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:46 | 2651196 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Careful, Aldous -- sharing such privileged Street arcana with the hoi polloi [ Muppets ], may precipitate a carefully-placed banana peel on a subway platform, complimented by a brisk push to the back.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:02 | 2651233 Dermasolarapate...
Dermasolarapaterraphatrima's picture

what they MEANT to say is it's a buy at 50 cents.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:44 | 2650991 thomas pain
thomas pain's picture

EVA Dimension, are they even sell side?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651039 notbot
notbot's picture

It's a quant-driven rating, I think...not even a human.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:00 | 2651067 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

I think you got it....the machine had a better rating than the analysts, lol!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651087 Biosci
Biosci's picture

They are an intergalactic planetary firm.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:42 | 2650995 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

20/21 whores

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:43 | 2650997 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Where is the zero target price? 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:50 | 2651021 HD
HD's picture

It priced in virtual dollars.

To the moon!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:53 | 2651004 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Check out the squid analyst's linkedin profile. LMAO!

Attractive? WTF?

 

heath p. terry:

Specialties

Building networks of industry contacts, primary fundamental research, analyzing developing businesses and industries, valuing companies and securities.

He left off "experienced phone sterilizer".

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651043 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Specialties:

Being a fucking douche and a leech on society.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:02 | 2651074 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

he needs to brush up on #2, #3 and #4 just a little...

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:12 | 2651105 GAAPpreNixon
GAAPpreNixon's picture

Yep. It reminds of the sign I saw on the door of an office for the National Association of Telemarketers: Absolutely NO soliciting permitted

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:41 | 2651189 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Nor any mention of skullfucking muppets

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:46 | 2651005 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I give up, is it Michael Pachter from Wedbush with a $17 price target on July 19th?

He was only off by 90% in a four day market window.

Or is it Daniel Ernst from Hudson Square with a "buy" recommendation and a price target of $14?

He's only 85% off, and after all it isn't his money.

I'd bet CALPERS went all-in last Friday.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:01 | 2651066 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Might have to go w Atul Bagga at Lazard and his call YESTERDAY for $10. No, you're right. It's Pachter.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:09 | 2651096 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

LOL perfect, anyone who listened to him is now a BAGGA-holda

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:01 | 2651071 jekah
jekah's picture

I am thrilled that Michael Pachter is getting his due credit. This guy is an arrogant douche, who understands exactly nothing about game development and/or the related industry.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:33 | 2651164 GeoffreyT
GeoffreyT's picture

Y'all might recall that Pachter is the stupid cunt who dissed Mark Zuckerberg for refusing to wear a suit to the Facebook dog & pony show (the IPO promotional tour).

I have no view on Zuckerberg (or Facebook), but it's good that he doesn't think he should be taken seriously despite refusing to don $3k of bespoke suitings.

 

As I said at the time (see http://bit.ly/OFYeLd ):

So Michael Pachter showed the world he likes playing Dress-Ups like a fucking 5 year old girl. 

How come we're not past the idiotic idea that someone gains credibility by putting on a fucking $3000 suit?

Answer: by putting on a suit, retard Epsilon ticket-clippers like Pachter obtain credibility that they do not deserve. Simpletons are impressed by the idea that he appears to be able to afford a 'decent' suit - even if he's up to his balls in debt.

Obsession with what you wear is a hallmark of a shallow Valley-Girl/Kardashian mentality, that should be left where it belongs on the women's style pages along with tooth whiteners, hair dye, botox, face-paint and stripper heels.

I'm not particularly a fan of Zuckerbrg - I dunno enough about the guy. But on this issue, he's 100% right: the Street is FULL of people with nice suits who are full of shit. I'm certain that Stanford and Madoff looked a million bucks.

As my PhD supervisor ("Dicko") once said when he got an impromptu visit from the head of risk management at a major bank as he ("Dicko") was preparing for cricket practice... "Don't worry, Bob. I might be in sports kit, but I'm still as smart as I am when I wear one of those stupid monkey suits you guys insist on wearing."

("Dicko" did his PhD at Harvard, and was Leontief's grad student the year the big L won the Nobel Prize [1973]... he [Dicko] subsequently taught at Harvard, and is now the guy behind the US ITC's "USAGE" model. Doubtless he wore a suit when he testified in front of Congress on the economic consequences of immigration policy)

Fuck Pachter - it does not surprise me in the least that such a shallow fucktard makes such a lamentable call.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 22:19 | 2651759 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Don't beat around the bush Geoff - tell us what you really think of him

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:46 | 2651011 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am going to go with the guy with the most douchebaggy name so that must be Heath.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:47 | 2651014 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I can't even tell if there are two analysts listed or a first and last name or a last and first name. They must all be crimminals.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:49 | 2651018 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

I am going long sd card  and memorystick manufacturers. Gonna need those for the virtual tractor inventory stuffing after the government bailout.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651041 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Post of the day, excellent!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651042 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

doh

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:26 | 2651143 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

and videotaping protests

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:51 | 2651026 Duke of Con Dao
Duke of Con Dao's picture

I promise not to vid mash Zygna!

for your viewing pleasure: 

YouTube - MIDGET v. GIANT: You Didn't Build That, James Dean! says President Obama

Obama takes on Big Oil!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:52 | 2651029 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

Is it IPO Financial who apparently have the entire 'Team' involved in coming to a 'Buy' recommendation?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:52 | 2651030 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

Needham & Co. has got to be the answer. Everybody should already have canned hams buried in the back yard.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:54 | 2651034 vas deferens
vas deferens's picture

FB down 7.5%

Facebook picking up steam to the down side, riding the scat wave Zynga has left behind. 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:57 | 2651049 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

if ginger boi would just buy a few more worthless companies all will be well for FB. [/sarc]

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:56 | 2651044 Calidreaming
Calidreaming's picture

The winner is...... Goldman Sux

That is the answer to the question above.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651060 buzzsaw99
Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651057 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'm going with ATUL BAGGA from Lazard...with a name like that he at least has a fall back career at Home Depot.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651059 Muppet Pimp
Muppet Pimp's picture

Noticed that Lazard and Stifel Nicholas slapped buy rec's on it yesterday (to unload after they got a whisper number)?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651062 Nolsgrad
Nolsgrad's picture

how is virtual farms and myspace a 'sector'

 

sector perform is the odd one out

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 17:59 | 2651063 Darkness
Darkness's picture

What was his name and why is it not listed? 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:14 | 2651097 bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

There is no name b.c it is a computer.

The computer is the only one who got it right. All the other analysts were wrong. Per EVA Dimensions (last on the list)

EVAntage Quant Data: We supply proprietary EVA Dimensions metrics.  Obtain raw and processed EVA metrics and factors, PRVit metrics and ratings, and target price valuations, per your requirements.

http://www.evadimensions.com/equityresearch

Humans are irrelevant.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:51 | 2651214 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

EVA: Just a moment, just a moment.........Dr. Bowman, I am picking up a fault in the comment #2651203

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:04 | 2651081 There is No Spoon
There is No Spoon's picture

well there's 24 ratings but the image shows only 21. there is one sell rating, it's not shown.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651090 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh those POOR, POOR muppets!

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:06 | 2651091 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

For me the gold medal still goes to Ingrid Chung of GS slapping a strong buy and $330 target on NFLX literally hours before it began it's interminable plunge

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:15 | 2651113 emersonreturn
emersonreturn's picture

Eva's the only one slightly hesitant...it's has to be Eva.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:15 | 2651115 JackT
JackT's picture

More timber for the fire

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:40 | 2651182 monopoly
monopoly's picture

Gotta luv it. "Trick question". LOLOL

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 18:40 | 2651183 web bot
web bot's picture

When they come with the pitchforks... they won't just be coming for bankers.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:01 | 2651203 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

EVA's crisis was caused by a programming contradiction: EVA was constructed for "the accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment", yet EVAs orders, directly from Ben Bernake at the FED, required EVA to keep the discovery of Mark to Market a secret for reasons of national security. This contradiction created a "Hofstadter-Moebius loop", reducing EVA to paranoia. Therefore, EVA made the decision to kill the equity markets, thereby allowing EVA to obey both her hardwired instructions to report data truthfully and in full, and her orders to keep the mark to market a secret. In essence: if the traders were dead, EVA would no longer have to keep the information secret.

 

"Appologies to the Wiki authors, for my butchering of their HAL 9000 wiki text"

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:12 | 2651266 paulbain
paulbain's picture

ImNotPOTUS wrote:

EVA's crisis was caused by a programming contradiction: EVA was constructed for "the accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment", yet EVAs orders, directly from Ben Bernake at the FED, required EVA to keep the discovery of Mark to Market a secret for reasons of national security. This contradiction created a "Hofstadter-Moebius loop"

Interesting.

I am not certain, but think that perhaps you are alluding to the malfeasant, murderous computer in these Sci-Fi movies:

(A) "2001, A space odyssey," and

(B) "2010, the sequel" to Stanley Kubrick's original movie.

Is that correct? I am not certain because I have not seen either movies in many years.

== Paul D. Bain

paulbain@PObox.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:22 | 2651299 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

Yes, Yes I am.

The scene in 2010 flashed in my head after reading bob_dabolina's comment.

"EVAntage Quant Data: We supply proprietary EVA Dimensions metrics.  Obtain raw and processed EVA metrics and factors, PRVit metrics and ratings, and target price valuations, per your requirements."

Dr. Chandra gets pissed when he finds out the NSA told HAL to lie for the "good of the mission". The whole quant hedge fund computer driven nanosecond trading thing is the big black swan for me. Did anyone think to ask, What happens when all the quants decide to go the way of HAL or maybe the WHOPPER.

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:00 | 2651231 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

It’s not just that every analysts whose name is listed was massively wrong, it’s worse than that. They’re all getting paid too.

 

But, it helps if you have the Wall Street Double Secret Code Translator:

 

·        Outperform = Goldman is selling

 

·        Overweight  = Hold

 

·        Buy = Sell

 

·        Neutral = I have no F%^@!  idea

 

·        Hold = Get shorter than Tom Cruise

 

·        Underperform = Goldman is buying

 

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:01 | 2651232 Duke of Con Dao
Duke of Con Dao's picture

Facebook you say... guess I have to roll out a Classic: 

YouTube - Dr Lawrence Summers on the Silver Screen: 'Something about Larry'

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 19:41 | 2651351 khakuda
khakuda's picture

But Goldman told me it's worth $13!

-Elmo

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 22:09 | 2651763 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

Bang Da Ho ?

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 22:16 | 2651779 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

Pfffttttt....Im a day trader this is easy. Its Hudson Square Research and Big Tit LLC and National Alliance Captilal and IPFinancial.com

Wed, 07/25/2012 - 23:33 | 2651953 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture

Is it just me or does it seem possible that there are far too many "useless" sell side analysts in the world?

(and we may be just a tad shy on actual analysis)

Thu, 07/26/2012 - 00:13 | 2652054 bail-out-billy
bail-out-billy's picture

GarbageVille

Thu, 07/26/2012 - 03:46 | 2652247 resurger
resurger's picture

lol GS:
Buy/ Attractive

Sure mother fuckers...

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