Presenting America's "Fresh Start" Currency

Tyler Durden's picture

Obviously after its default, America will need to issue a "fresh start" currency to go with its "fresh start" balance sheet and "non-fresh start" group of thugs robbing this country's middle class blind de novo. Below we present the running contender for such "new currency" courtesy of William Banzai.

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redpill's picture

Pfft, you can't eat bananas.  Oh, nm.

Good morning ZH.

TheTmfreak's picture

Bananabucks for monkeys. I guess there could be a large swath of people that value bananas...

Was that racist?

Edit: OH NOW I GET BANANA REPUBLIC..... Its when a republic is ran by a monkeys that like bananas.

Pladizow's picture

It's too optomistic to assume a piece of US linen will be able to purchase one complete banana - perhaps the peel!

augmister's picture

This Banana Buck needs to be printed on HEMP!  Watch its value SOAR!

When you get cleaned out of all of your assets, you can roll and smoke them!   Then they have to print more, because the supply is burning up!

Continue the Bread & Circus!  QEx to INFINITY as America blows its freaking collective mind!

Transitory Disinflation's picture

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

One bernanke, two bernanke, three bernanke, four.
Four bernankes make a bunch and so do many more.
Over hill and highway the bernanke buggies go
Comin' on to bring you The bernanke Splits Show.

Makin up a mess of fun
Makin up a mess of fun
Lot's of fun for everyone.

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Four bernanke, three bernanke, two bernanke, one.
All bernankes phaying in the bright warm sun.
Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork
FreeGold, Amero, SDR and Borked.

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Bananamerican's picture

"Pfft, you can't eat bananas."

oh but you can...hit me up after a good plate of waffles some Sunday

ABCStore's picture

Forget about eating... Dumping them from helicopters would be fun!


knavechild's picture

lol @ zodiac timmah.

Mugatu's picture

One dollar will only buy you a gumball by then.  Cost of printing the dollar will cost more than what the dollar will buy.  Should have made it a $10,000 bill.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Bet you can't eat print just one.

FEDbuster's picture

With all the gold and silver bugs here at Zerohedge, why don't we issue our own "Hedgie" backed by precious metals, with Tyler on the 1 unit and Maria on the 10?  Do we have enough pull in FX markets to get this idea off the ground?  We could give Bitcoin a run for their money, and I would just love to see a few hundred Zerohedgers brought to court on "counterfeiting" charges.


Hasten the Collapse, OBAMA 2012

squidward's picture

Actually we need to charter a credit union that keeps reserves in American Eagles which are legal tender, so just like keeping cash in the vault.  It only takes about 3-5k depositors to start one and is run as a co-op.

cannonball's picture

It only takes about 100 to start a credit union. 

FEDbuster's picture

How about starting a gold and silver backed credit union in TX for Zerohedgers?   We should be able to get a nice, small shut down branch bank building with a good sized safe and safe deposit boxes fairly cheap in some small Texas town.  If Ron Paul doesn't win the primary, we could see if he would be Chairman of the ZCU (Zerohedge Credit Union).

squidward's picture

A federal charter would open up to all liberty minded states, ID, MT, WY, NH along with TX.  Then there is always online banking.

10 steps to starting a CU:


I looked into it, but figuring out how to structure a non-traditional CU is beyond my paygrade.

TSA Thug's picture

This whole article gets a thumbs down in my book. Obviously written by some homegrown terrorists.

We're watching for this Bonzi character.

-1 4u.

--You WILL Obey!

depression's picture

damn you william banzai

there will be no default !!

(and even if there were it would be transitory)

now cut out all this monkey business and eat your peas !


toady's picture

Errr, eat your bananas!

Temporalist's picture

Nice.  Aug. 2 2011

Dreadker's picture

If this is the new currency.... The top 0.1% of the wealthy will be:


1.  Donkey Kong & Donkey Kong Jr.

2.  King Kong

3.  The monkey from Super Monkey Ball

4.  Clyde (of Any which way but loose fame)

5.  That monkey that ripped that womans face off



fuu's picture

I regret I have but one +1 to give for your comment.

slaughterer's picture

What about:

Planet of the Apes?

Dreadker's picture

Nah they had their own currency.... Humans ;-)

Misean's picture

Why are you insulting Chiquita? What have they ever done to you? For lord's sake, the banana at least has some value...

lettuce's picture

one banana, two banana, three banana, four.... (millions, that is)

swissinv's picture

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)
Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)

swissinv's picture

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)
Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)

Careless Whisper's picture

RGR up 26 % today.   Come to your own conclusions.


Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Banzai... great post...

Banana backed currency... No one could make the assumption that it is a store of value...

I would add a 'use by date' and perhaps a bar code... but it's fine as is

slaughterer's picture

Does the USA grow enough bananas to back this fiat?  I vote for an Ipad to replace the Pyramid on the back, just in case.

"In Steve we Trust"

V in PA's picture

Kardashian's ass should replace the eagle.

Blano's picture

It's definitely big enough to back most any currency.

fishface's picture

sponsored by United Fruit Company



Oh yes we have no Bananas

We have no Bananas today

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Oh yes we have no Bananas

We have no Bananas today

Fear not. A flotilla of cargo ships is currently steaming toward our shores, laden with fresh produce from the plantation of Ben Banananke.


RobotTrader's picture



No safe haven in GG and AEM today.

Ratio Traders are having a field day once again, as the GDX/GLD ratio is now plunging back to 2011 lows.

"Damn, I should have bought GMCR and AAPL instead!!!"

espirit's picture

Does your Mom know you've escaped from juvie again, and are watching financial porn on the Xbox in the basement?

slaughterer's picture

Fuck, Robot, you are SO predictable:  I KNEW you would mention GMCR in your first post today.  Have some coffee with your bananas. 

Boxed Merlot's picture

Looks like a recovery to me too.  Gold's all the way down to 1607. and the dollar's all the way up to 74.44. 

Whew, that was close.

Sudden Debt's picture



I've noticed something about you Robo....


Pay Day Today's picture

Hopefully it will be printed on a much thicker, softer linen in order to safeguard its future usefulness.

Mercury's picture

If you see the blue sticker

Then you know it tastes better!...


<everybody now...>

MrBinkeyWhat's picture

I am printing mine up now! "They call it Mellow Yellow"!

Dr. No's picture

I see the FED tightening once the big banks are properly positioned for profit.  This will really upset the federal government since interest rates will rise.  Thanks to all the FED bashing, Obama will anounce a new temperary "treasury issued note"; call it a greenback if you want.  Used only for special transactions of course.  But will spread to common use.  Due to the lack of restraint of the treasury, they will print a boat load.  Inflation will go rampant (after Obama is out).  Currency reform will happen with the FED promising some sort of gold exhange on FED reserve notes only.  This will kill the new greenback.


Just read US currency history in 1800's-1900's foresee the coming events.

the grateful unemployed's picture

their first obligation should be to protect the hard currency in circulation, and the best way to do that would be to set an exchange rate between real currency and notional, investment, and credit based paper. at that rate you could always see how real the economic growth you were reporting  was. since there is very little real currency this shouldn't be a problem. oh and one more thing, take away their printing press.

Wakanda's picture

WB7, does the yellow border represent cowardice?

williambanzai7's picture

Easier to see in the dark ;-)

Wakanda's picture

Just use Tepco brand radioactive ink!  Lights up your life in a whole new way!