Presenting America's "Fresh Start" Currency

Tyler Durden's picture




Obviously after its default, America will need to issue a "fresh start" currency to go with its "fresh start" balance sheet and "non-fresh start" group of thugs robbing this country's middle class blind de novo. Below we present the running contender for such "new currency" courtesy of William Banzai.

4.64
Your rating: None Average: 4.6 (25 votes)

 
 


Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:11 | 1500919 redpill
redpill's picture

Pfft, you can't eat bananas.  Oh, nm.

Good morning ZH.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:23 | 1500977 TheTmfreak
TheTmfreak's picture

Bananabucks for monkeys. I guess there could be a large swath of people that value bananas...

Was that racist?

Edit: OH NOW I GET BANANA REPUBLIC..... Its when a republic is ran by a monkeys that like bananas.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:46 | 1501096 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

It's too optomistic to assume a piece of US linen will be able to purchase one complete banana - perhaps the peel!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:59 | 1501305 augmister
augmister's picture

This Banana Buck needs to be printed on HEMP!  Watch its value SOAR!

When you get cleaned out of all of your assets, you can roll and smoke them!   Then they have to print more, because the supply is burning up!

Continue the Bread & Circus!  QEx to INFINITY as America blows its freaking collective mind!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:17 | 1501170 Transitory Disi...
Transitory Disinflation's picture

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

One bernanke, two bernanke, three bernanke, four.
Four bernankes make a bunch and so do many more.
Over hill and highway the bernanke buggies go
Comin' on to bring you The bernanke Splits Show.

Makin up a mess of fun
Makin up a mess of fun
Lot's of fun for everyone.

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Four bernanke, three bernanke, two bernanke, one.
All bernankes phaying in the bright warm sun.
Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork
FreeGold, Amero, SDR and Borked.

Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.
Tra ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:14 | 1501171 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"Pfft, you can't eat bananas."

oh but you can...hit me up after a good plate of waffles some Sunday

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:23 | 1501197 ABCStore
ABCStore's picture

Forget about eating... Dumping them from helicopters would be fun!

ABC

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:12 | 1500932 knavechild
knavechild's picture

lol @ zodiac timmah.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:39 | 1501067 tekhneek
tekhneek's picture

lol

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:14 | 1500938 Mugatu
Mugatu's picture

One dollar will only buy you a gumball by then.  Cost of printing the dollar will cost more than what the dollar will buy.  Should have made it a $10,000 bill.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:43 | 1501087 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Bet you can't eat print just one.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:28 | 1501212 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

With all the gold and silver bugs here at Zerohedge, why don't we issue our own "Hedgie" backed by precious metals, with Tyler on the 1 unit and Maria on the 10?  Do we have enough pull in FX markets to get this idea off the ground?  We could give Bitcoin a run for their money, and I would just love to see a few hundred Zerohedgers brought to court on "counterfeiting" charges.

 

Hasten the Collapse, OBAMA 2012

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:51 | 1501287 squidward
squidward's picture

Actually we need to charter a credit union that keeps reserves in American Eagles which are legal tender, so just like keeping cash in the vault.  It only takes about 3-5k depositors to start one and is run as a co-op.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:33 | 1501778 cannonball
cannonball's picture

It only takes about 100 to start a credit union. 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 17:18 | 1502331 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

How about starting a gold and silver backed credit union in TX for Zerohedgers?   We should be able to get a nice, small shut down branch bank building with a good sized safe and safe deposit boxes fairly cheap in some small Texas town.  If Ron Paul doesn't win the primary, we could see if he would be Chairman of the ZCU (Zerohedge Credit Union).

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 21:08 | 1502938 squidward
squidward's picture

A federal charter would open up to all liberty minded states, ID, MT, WY, NH along with TX.  Then there is always online banking.

10 steps to starting a CU:

http://www.bankrate.com/brm/news/cu/20000301a.asp

 

I looked into it, but figuring out how to structure a non-traditional CU is beyond my paygrade.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:17 | 1500941 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

This whole article gets a thumbs down in my book. Obviously written by some homegrown terrorists.

We're watching for this Bonzi character.

-1 4u.

--You WILL Obey!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:37 | 1501025 depression
depression's picture

damn you william banzai

there will be no default !!

(and even if there were it would be transitory)

now cut out all this monkey business and eat your peas !

 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 14:55 | 1501854 toady
toady's picture

Errr, eat your bananas!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:13 | 1500942 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Nice.  Aug. 2 2011

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:14 | 1500947 Dreadker
Dreadker's picture

If this is the new currency.... The top 0.1% of the wealthy will be:

 

1.  Donkey Kong & Donkey Kong Jr.

2.  King Kong

3.  The monkey from Super Monkey Ball

4.  Clyde (of Any which way but loose fame)

5.  That monkey that ripped that womans face off

 

;-)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:21 | 1500974 fuu
fuu's picture

I regret I have but one +1 to give for your comment.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:27 | 1501002 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What about:

Planet of the Apes?

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:32 | 1501029 Dreadker
Dreadker's picture

Nah they had their own currency.... Humans ;-)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:15 | 1500950 Misean
Misean's picture

Why are you insulting Chiquita? What have they ever done to you? For lord's sake, the banana at least has some value...

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:15 | 1500951 lettuce
lettuce's picture

one banana, two banana, three banana, four.... (millions, that is)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:16 | 1500954 swissinv
swissinv's picture

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)
Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:16 | 1500957 swissinv
swissinv's picture

Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)
Come, Mr. Tally Mon, tally me banana
(Daylight come and he wan' go home)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:16 | 1500958 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

RGR up 26 % today.   Come to your own conclusions.

 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:16 | 1500959 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

Banzai... great post...

Banana backed currency... No one could make the assumption that it is a store of value...

I would add a 'use by date' and perhaps a bar code... but it's fine as is

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:55 | 1501018 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Does the USA grow enough bananas to back this fiat?  I vote for an Ipad to replace the Pyramid on the back, just in case.

"In Steve we Trust"

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:59 | 1501309 V in PA
V in PA's picture

Kardashian's ass should replace the eagle.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 12:46 | 1501471 Blano
Blano's picture

It's definitely big enough to back most any currency.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:17 | 1500960 fishface
fishface's picture

sponsored by United Fruit Company

 

 

Oh yes we have no Bananas

We have no Bananas today

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:44 | 1501091 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Oh yes we have no Bananas

We have no Bananas today

Fear not. A flotilla of cargo ships is currently steaming toward our shores, laden with fresh produce from the plantation of Ben Banananke.

 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:17 | 1500961 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

 

 

No safe haven in GG and AEM today.

Ratio Traders are having a field day once again, as the GDX/GLD ratio is now plunging back to 2011 lows.

"Damn, I should have bought GMCR and AAPL instead!!!"

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:34 | 1501041 espirit
espirit's picture

Does your Mom know you've escaped from juvie again, and are watching financial porn on the Xbox in the basement?

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:49 | 1501109 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Fuck, Robot, you are SO predictable:  I KNEW you would mention GMCR in your first post today.  Have some coffee with your bananas. 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:58 | 1501133 Boxed Merlot
Boxed Merlot's picture

Looks like a recovery to me too.  Gold's all the way down to 1607. and the dollar's all the way up to 74.44. 

Whew, that was close.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:27 | 1501210 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

 

 

I've noticed something about you Robo....

YOU'RE STILL HERE!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:17 | 1500962 Pay Day Today
Pay Day Today's picture

Hopefully it will be printed on a much thicker, softer linen in order to safeguard its future usefulness.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:17 | 1500963 Mercury
Mercury's picture

If you see the blue sticker

Then you know it tastes better!...

 

<everybody now...>

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:20 | 1500973 MrBinkeyWhat
MrBinkeyWhat's picture

I am printing mine up now! "They call it Mellow Yellow"!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:41 | 1501244 Debt-Penitent
Debt-Penitent's picture

That's right.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:21 | 1500978 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

I see the FED tightening once the big banks are properly positioned for profit.  This will really upset the federal government since interest rates will rise.  Thanks to all the FED bashing, Obama will anounce a new temperary "treasury issued note"; call it a greenback if you want.  Used only for special transactions of course.  But will spread to common use.  Due to the lack of restraint of the treasury, they will print a boat load.  Inflation will go rampant (after Obama is out).  Currency reform will happen with the FED promising some sort of gold exhange on FED reserve notes only.  This will kill the new greenback.

 

Just read US currency history in 1800's-1900's foresee the coming events.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:46 | 1501267 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

their first obligation should be to protect the hard currency in circulation, and the best way to do that would be to set an exchange rate between real currency and notional, investment, and credit based paper. at that rate you could always see how real the economic growth you were reporting  was. since there is very little real currency this shouldn't be a problem. oh and one more thing, take away their printing press.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:21 | 1500979 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

WB7, does the yellow border represent cowardice?

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:32 | 1501022 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Easier to see in the dark ;-)

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:34 | 1501045 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Just use Tepco brand radioactive ink!  Lights up your life in a whole new way!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:32 | 1501220 Abitdodgie
Abitdodgie's picture

It's the right colour for the Amerikan people then 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:22 | 1500983 pods
pods's picture

Daylight come and me want go home.

One thing you can say about banana republics;
They actually HAVE bananas.

pods 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:23 | 1500984 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

a Banana currency for a Banana Republic.

Makes sense.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:24 | 1500987 metastar
metastar's picture

It's good it see that the owl is still intact.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:25 | 1500990 ImNotARobot
ImNotARobot's picture

Thanks for posting this Tyler.  I fired up my printing press so I can be way ahead of the curve.  Do you have any bigger denominations yet? 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:33 | 1500995 wang
wang's picture

banana republic?

 

I guess the  mentally ill homeless guy tazed and beaten to death in Fullerton  a couple of weeks ago might have wanted the chance to weigh in on this topic

you can watch him die here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ljYNgLnpxM

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:39 | 1501068 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

Do not resist.

Comply. Obey. Respect.

.

--You WILL Obey!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:26 | 1500996 MoneyWise
MoneyWise's picture

Obviously US not going to default. Period. Only

because Congressman summer vacation starts in 1 week.

Watch last minute Obama came out with 14 amendment and

state that Credit Limit is unconstitutional.

And that

will end it, right there.

The only Debt Limit, should be Market itself.

Ones nobody wants your paper, that's your limit.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:37 | 1501060 Dr. No
Dr. No's picture

I dont see that happing.  The reason is the debt limit law is a pure political tool.  Like you said the real limit is established by the market.  Since it is a political tool, it will be exploited as much as possible.  If they choose to go past Aug 2, watch Obama announce he is cutting expenditures  by executive order on things he sees fit.  He will cut the items which hurt republicans.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:27 | 1500998 spydell-lj
spydell-lj's picture

Is It New Banana Dollar? Good? very good!! Bangster is favor of this $!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:27 | 1500999 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

After more muddled thought... instead of a banana backed currency why not simply use bananas?

The Bernank was toying with the idea of 'time dated currency' that would have to be spent by it's expiration date or become useless...

A banana currency would accomplish Bernank's plan with no regulation. Only those wanting to make banana pudding would accept rotten bananas for real goods/services...

 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:30 | 1501017 caerus
caerus's picture

we have no bananas today

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:27 | 1501004 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

water soluble, heh

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:32 | 1501034 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

People in Fl, and other banana growing climes, become wealthy overnight!

Money growing on the banana trees in their yards...

Bananas! The new US currency! What could possibly go wrong?

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:11 | 1501163 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

panama banana disease?

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:27 | 1501006 ViewfromUnderth...
ViewfromUndertheBridge's picture

Remember the $110 Billion in new USD100 hi-tech notes...that got "glitched" and are in vault storage.

The time may be approaching to issue them.

and how convenient... http://www.newmoney.gov/currency/100.htm they have an inkwell prominently displayed.

Can you make this shit up? No, you couldn't.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 11:24 | 1501204 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

always thought there was something very fishy with that whole glitch story.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:29 | 1501011 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

At least it has a golden colour.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:29 | 1501013 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Zodiak Timmah was a great touch

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:30 | 1501015 Silver Dreamer
Silver Dreamer's picture

It's the yellow money you can eat!

Mon, 09/05/2011 - 06:45 | 1501016 Paper CRUSHer
Paper CRUSHer's picture

.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:31 | 1501024 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Remember "Deficits don't matter?" ...hehe what's Cheney saying now I wonder? 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:32 | 1501032 oa92000
oa92000's picture

what china & japan will do , if US default

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:33 | 1501035 fishface
fishface's picture

Unfortunately the Half-Life of bananas, as the Half-Life of fiat currency is very low

 

as expected...signed by Bernank and Timmah

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:35 | 1501037 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Perhaps we could call this new currency the "wazoo." That way when either Geithner or the Bernank are asked how things are going they can honestly answer: "we're printing out the wazoo."

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:37 | 1501039 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

The success will greatly depend on whether it is backed by hard or soft bananas.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:34 | 1501042 TSA Thug
TSA Thug's picture

Gold and Silver are poised for a precarious plunge. After the Sprott purchase demand seems to have ebbed.

Lets see what develops but short the paper here boys.

--You WILL Obey!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTOcAt44_QA

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:41 | 1501079 Silver Dreamer
Silver Dreamer's picture

May it dip, please!  I'm ready to buy.  haha

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 13:34 | 1501605 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

If you ask those people who bought Gold or Silver, they are not going to sell it. This is saving. not investment not for profit. This is some thing for their next generation.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:34 | 1501044 monopoly
monopoly's picture

We get closer every month. Just a matter of time.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:37 | 1501047 Vinny
Vinny's picture

The water soluble part is thoughtfull. I shall reserve my judgement on how well it absorbs liquids.  Ladies, we now have a paper backed currency.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:36 | 1501048 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

We spent 30 years "Proving" deficits don't matter....

Nice little experiment foisted on the unsuspecting public. Made a lot of insiders rich beyond their wildest dreams. Now wer're left with the aftermath and the cleanup. 

And it's already costing this country plenty

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:36 | 1501050 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Have you decided who's going on the reverse side of each denomination?

Could we have one of Jamie Dimon with a banana rammed up his arse.

Actually he'd probably like that.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:37 | 1501061 hunglow
hunglow's picture

So they can grow a banana in D.C. garden.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:39 | 1501066 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Where has all the junk gone that we bought from China and elsewhere with Trillions and Trillions and Trillions printed and spent? Are you better off today than you were before the money printing went bonkers? 

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:39 | 1501069 bania
bania's picture

Love "Zodiac Timmah" makes me chuckle everytime.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:40 | 1501070 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Let's face it! Tyranny has found a home in America.

If the Dictator in Chief, the Propaganda President, doesn't see it, then it is certain. He is the manifestation of modern-day tyranny!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:40 | 1501071 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I like banzai's better.

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:40 | 1501075 vamsy
vamsy's picture

God save me! Its been 10 min and I'm still laughing my ass off!

Thu, 07/28/2011 - 10:40 | 1501077 Beatscape
Beatscape's picture

A requirement to be a Banana Republic is that you have to grow and export bananas.  The United States does not even rank in the top 50 countries in the world in banana production.  We are beat out by thriving economies such as Zimbabwe, Guinea, Malawi and Yemen.  Perhaps we should put a screen shot of a CMBS certificate on the new dollar.  That's our most famous export.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/agr_ban_pro-agriculture-banana-production

 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!