This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Presenting Anonymous' "Survival Guide For Citizens In A Revolution"

Tyler Durden's picture


Following the fireworks from this weekend in which Anonymous hacked and exposed thousands of Stratfor clients and millions of confidential emails, it may be time to pay some more attention to the hacker collective, and specifically a document that was released a few weeks ago titled "Survival Guide for Citizens in a Revolution." As Anonymous itself says, "This is a snapshot of what Anonymous thinks will be useful for your survival in case of a violent revolution in your country. As most of Anonymous works, it will be constantly changed, reused, improved etc. So watch for newer releases." Because all it takes for complete chaos to erupt in addition to the unwind in the financial system, is for one or two major hacks at system critical institutions to precipitate all out social panic. And who knows - while the financial system will self destruct on is own, perhaps Anonymous itself will do this or that vis-a-vis the latter.

Complete guide (source):


h/t LoneStarHog


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Tue, 12/27/2011 - 13:11 | 2013905 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Not sure if Tyler covered this Nomura research.

Nomura Explains Latest “Better Than Expected” Anomaly

“The standard empirical techniques used to seasonally adjust US economic data – such as the Census Bureau’s X11 and X12 programs – have interpreted some of the sharp contraction in the fourth quarter of 2008 and the first quarter of 2009 as a change in “seasonal” patterns. As a result, current techniques for seasonal adjustment tend to boost data in the fourth and first quarter of the year, relative to previous patterns, then depress data in the second and third quarters.”

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 13:29 | 2013969 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Survival Guide 101, Bitchez ...


GOLD ... Bitchez ...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 13:46 | 2014034 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

How do you know the revolutionaries will not confiscate your gold?

Historically, most revolutionaries confiscated gold to fund their revolution (read about Lenin and Castro, to name a few).


The need to buy grain abroad compelled authorities to collect and impound all the gold and foreign currency.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 13:57 | 2014058 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

If the revolution goes in that ugly direction,

the Confiscators will be Swiftly CONFISCATED ...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:12 | 2014115 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

But you will be beheaded...
(The revolutionaries will guillotine you before they confiscate your gold.)

During the French Revolution everything (including all gold) was declared to be “property of the Republic”.

And let nobody presume to conceal his hoard: all treasure, whether silver-plate, diamonds, ingots, gold, or silver, coined or un-coined, “discovered, or that may be discovered, buried in the ground or concealed in cellars, inside of the walls or in garrets, under floors, pavements, or hearthstones, or in chimneys and other hiding places,” becomes the property of the Republic...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:24 | 2014140 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Remember, if they actually confiscate GOLD, they will also confiscate everything else of value.


That may happen in Europe, in which case it would degenerate into a type of WW3 with Millions of

Young Healthy Unemployed men with ANDROID Phones, and nothing to lose, all thrown into the mix.

Yes... FUN


In the US it would lead to Civil War.

Im sure 1/2 the population will gladly fight in the streets if it finally comes down to losing all their Constutionally Guaranteed Freedoms...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:27 | 2014156 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Half?  HELL NO.   Call it a good civil war if 5% will turn out armed and ready to fight.

First rule of survival in a revolution: Keep a very LOW profile.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:38 | 2014189 Falcon15
Falcon15's picture

The Revolutionary War was fought by, and won, by just 3% of the existing populace. It was not and will not be a WWI/WWII trench warfare, heavy artillery battle. It was and will be more akin to the VC against the French/Aussies/Americans. Guerllia warfare, hit and run tactics, heavy reliance on good intelligence, and bold lightning stirkes against tactically important targets.

You are right, keep a LOW profile.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:11 | 2014291 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

i'm callin' bullshit on this post.   "the best way out is to give the robbers what they want"  LoLz  i don't think so. i love all the "essential" checklists; seems funny that NOWHERE is there mention of protecting yourself with the obvious.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:27 | 2014339 infotechsailor
infotechsailor's picture

lol... i noticed that too careless. I dont disagree with most of the strategies and checklist, i'm just surprised at the lack of mention of the obvious. perhaps it was unnecessary.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:43 | 2014390 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

It counter-psych-ops from big daddy - they don't mention guns becasue they don't want you to have them in the first place (and of course turn over your possessions peacefully)

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:11 | 2014464 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Can't we all just get along BITCHEZ....

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:52 | 2014581 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture



Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:37 | 2014978 solgundy
solgundy's picture

no country with home theatre and 3-D TV has ever revolted

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:55 | 2015010 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

you forgot internet.


they will just have staged reality show revolution for few episodes on TV and call it all good.


education of mass populace is not an overnight thing either.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:45 | 2015440 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"Because in a crowd of 100 protesters,one dead leaves 99 operatonal. One injured occupies at least 20 of them, and the cries of the injured will strike terror in the hearts of the others. Their morale will suffer and they become easier to subdue."


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 11:19 | 2015966 pupton
pupton's picture

also forgot porn...

I'm not sure WTF kind of "survival" guide this is, or who wrote it, but it pretty much sucks as a survival guide, and it could use a bit of editing.  There are many better sources for long-term/SHTF survival out there already, from far more credible sources.  As someone else indicated, we don't know who is putting this out and what their motives are.  I'm confused about whether I should be wearing a white or green headband, a mask, a gas mask, a bandana over my face, all black clothing, sunglasses...

Anyway, I read the whole thing and this seems to be more of a revolutionary's guide to successful rioting and insurrection.  If you really wanted to "survive" in these times you probably could do so by just staying at home and having anough food and water on hand and a few guns.  Most riots I have seen on TV take place in commercial districts, not residential areas. 

As others said, it doesn't speak much about arming yourself, forming a malitia, etc.  So this isn't much of a guide to forming a violent revolutionary army, or a pacifists guide for escaping the is about how to get in the mix and fuck with the cops...not for me.  But thanks for trying.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:39 | 2015474 piceridu
piceridu's picture

"Welcome to Costco...I love you."

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:30 | 2014523 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

This is nothing more than fear mongering propaganda. The best way to defend your life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness is with a Mossberg 500, a 45 auto, and rule 308.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:55 | 2015098 Firing Pin
Firing Pin's picture


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:35 | 2015343 NewThor
NewThor's picture



*it can't be because of those Big Brother's watching, copy and pasting everything, and algo all the ones who naturally like peanut butter, right? This is a one layer deep, web sight, right? We're not fucking Sun Tzu-ing C'thulu right? We're just making a simple peanut butter sandwich, it's not like this moment is filled to the brim with lies, deceptions, double dealings, triple dealings and fucking the ancient collective demon himself? How could you Sun Tzu C'thulu? C'thulu doesn't want to win the war, he just wants there to be war. Earth was a garden, now it's a fucking factory filled with slaves and peanut butter.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:31 | 2014966 Potemkin Villag...
Potemkin Village Idiot's picture

It counter-psych-ops from big daddy - they don't mention guns becasue they don't want you to have them in the first place

Yeah. The dead giveaway is that the whole manual basically reads like the JUSTIN BIEBER SURVIVAL GUIDE.

Bunch of fucking dweebs who get their rocks off playing World of Warcraft while hacking "Farmville"...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:06 | 2014451 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Well, this "anonymous" = a Brit: called a flashlight a "torch". And the Brits allowed ZOG to disarm them. Not so in the U.S.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:04 | 2014789 youLilQuantFuker
youLilQuantFuker's picture

Illusions. You will serve your masters.

The sole purpose of non-Jews is to serve Jews, according to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, the head of Shas’s Council of Torah Sages and a senior Sephardi adjudicator.

“Goyim were born only to serve us. Without that, they have no place in the world – only to serve the People of Israel,” he said in his weekly Saturday night sermon on the laws regarding the actions non-Jews are permitted to perform on Shabbat.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:45 | 2014558 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Pick your battles, dude.  Imagine being out in public with your family and  you are armed, but there are over a dozen thugs with bats and pipes.  What then, cowboy?  Even a Glock 19 isn't getting your ass out of that mess.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:55 | 2014598 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well said.

I'll paraphrase myself...

Guns amplify Bravado, not bravery. Big difference.



Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:43 | 2015274 trav7777
trav7777's picture open fire into a crowd, they are not charging you; they are going to run, even with superior numbers.

You gunphobes are simply IRRATIONAL

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:39 | 2014981 macholatte
macholatte's picture

After you drop the first 2 or 3 thugs the rest will likely run and hide. This gives time for your wife and kids to pull a few shots with their pistols. 

Murphy's Rules of Combat

(A comprehensive list obtained from various sources)
  1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  2. If you can see the enemy, they can see you.
  3. Incoming fire has the right of way.
  4. Friendly fire isn't.
  5. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  6. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire. This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.
  7. There is always a way.
  8. The easy way is always mined.
  9. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  10. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
  11. The enemy only attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.
  12. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
  13. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
  14. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
  15. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
  16. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
  17. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
  18. If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.
  19. When in doubt empty the magazine.
  20. Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
  21. Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
  22. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
  23. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
  24. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  25. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
  26. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
  27. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
  28. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
  29. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  30. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
  31. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
  32. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
  33. You are not a superman.
  34. No plan survives the first contact intact.
  35. If you are forward of your position the artillery will always fall short.
  36. The important things are always simple.
  37. The simple things are always hard.
  38. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
  39. Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
  40. Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equals 37 enemy KIA.
  41. Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
  42. Radios will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.
  43. Tracers work both ways.
  44. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
  45. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
  46. If it moves, shoot it.
  47. If it doesn't move, poke it with your gun barrel and then shoot it.
  48. Overkill works.
  49. Murphy was a grunt.


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:49 | 2015358 Old_Dog
Old_Dog's picture
apologies if you have seen this before, but getting the family involved is a 'good' thing, good being a value judgment.


Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Here's a little test to help you decide:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 cal, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrat's Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer


Extra Credit: Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).


Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silvertips or Federal Hydra-Shoks?"

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 09:25 | 2015679 writingsonthewall
writingsonthewall's picture

Thinking mans extra credit.

Daughter - shoot daddy, now we're up close, isn't that yur cuzin roger? - hey daddy, he was a doctor remember, look daddy - he was carrying a bandage qith that knife - looks like he was coming to help heal mummy's gangreous wound by cutting it out and rebandaging.


Why did you do that daddy? why did you kill cuzin roger and thereby condeming our mummy to a painful death?


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 22:28 | 2018006 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Why did you do that daddy? why did you kill cuzin roger and thereby condeming our mummy to a painful death?"

Because we are American, and aren't afraid of guns?  or, how about - because this is way after office hours honey and he was really going to gag you with that gauze whilst he raped us all.

Mummies are bad news - haven't you seen the horror flicks?

Oh, you're British - explains both problems, the mummy one and the irrational fear of weapons.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:54 | 2015005 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Maybe, maybe not.

The last thing thugs want is a real fight. They prefer weak, unarmed victims. 

The other side of this hypothetical situation is putting yourself & your family in that public place where there is the potential for a gang of bat & pipe wielding thugs to come at you.

My advice is, don't live your life in Condition White, especially in places you are unfamiliar with.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:20 | 2015324 NewThor
NewThor's picture

People sure like to list of their gun model's and the calibur of bullet that it shoots, but I've learned the best way to survive is to detect danger before it arrives and to get the fuck out of dodge before it does.

I'm a lover, not a fighter. But hey, I've had my ass kicked a million times, so I've learned a thing or two how not to die.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:40 | 2015347 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

Sometimes there is nowhere to run or your attackers can run faster than you

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 08:02 | 2015616 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Its always best to avoid a violent confrontation if possible.

Don't wear a confederate battle flag tee shirt to a rap concert...alternately, don't get all gangsta'd up for a Chris LeDoux

But as sun tzu says above...sometimes it will find you no matter what you do.

Most men & women will fight when pushed into a corner and its completely normal & proper to do so. If you find yourself lost in a bad part of town, surrounded by thugs at a stop light beating on your windows, I guarantee you, when you shoot the asshole in the face who just busted out the door window the rest are going to scatter. Now you can drive And don't stop at the next light...bad guys have cell phones too.

Its more about mental preparation than anything else. One decides they are going to protect themselves & loved ones...or not.

As far as calibers, Hydra Shocks work wonders in any caliber but if I know theres going to be trouble its a shotgun and 000 buck.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:54 | 2015006 Ghostmaker
Ghostmaker's picture

A Glock 22 might with multiple clips. 15 Rounds each.

Not to mention lots of pratice making good hits. A AR 15 would be a better choice.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:41 | 2015084 HungrySeagull
HungrySeagull's picture

One or another, 50 rounds gone in about 1.5 minutes and we will see what's what.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 08:29 | 2015638 10mm
10mm's picture

Glock 20 10mm 15rnd clips,shoulder rig and no weak rounds,full loads.Practice,practice,practice.Baseball bats are so "Warrior" movie like.Thugs will have guns too.Dont forget organized gangs.Get some body armor too,it's all good.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:17 | 2023457 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

Best round ever built,  a .41 magnum in an automatic cartrige.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:25 | 2015126 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

Maybe a Glock won't get you out of that mess.  Maybe nothing else with a 4" barrel will, either.

But something with an 18" barrel will  Specifically, a semi-auto battle rifle in a .30 military caliber.  It's purpose-designed to take down large numbers of hostiles from a long distance, and quickly.

Get over your handgun fixation.  If you are concerned about possibilities like that, then be prepared, properly.  400 yards is a safer operating range than 20.  I think you might find yourself a lot less concerned about iron bars.

I've said before here, a reasonable shot with a reasonable-quality air rifle can sort out Glock heroes from 75 yards, without breaking a sweat.  Yep, an air rifle.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:57 | 2015295 economics1996
economics1996's picture

22 LR.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:41 | 2015351 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

That's fine in a mad max scenario. If things just go Detroit, then I doubt you would be walking around with a Garand

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:28 | 2015131 hadriansnightmare
hadriansnightmare's picture

two clips- and they scatter when the first three drop anyway

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:39 | 2015143 Momauguin Joe
Momauguin Joe's picture

Pick out leader out of the dozen and kill him first. See how many of those dozen still stick around...

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 09:20 | 2023460 hamurobby
hamurobby's picture

"Anyone else wanna negotiate?"

Corbin Dallas

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:44 | 2015154 the 300000000th...
the 300000000th percent's picture

Just bought 8 more 30 round mags and 2 more 3 slot 30 round mag pouches. I got head shots on 12 thugs all day. But whats most important is low profile. 

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:31 | 2015206 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Pick your battles, dude.  Imagine being out in public with your family and  you are armed, but there are over a dozen thugs with bats and pipes.  What then, cowboy?  Even a Glock 19 isn't getting your ass out of that mess.


Well lookie what I got in my inbox today. Free Ship Code is "2011yearend"

I have several of the Glock 22 round .40 mags for my glock 23, ordered from TopGunSupply. These are glock factory and work seamlessly.  The 15 round mag for the Glock 19 will serve you well against 'over a dozen thugs with bats and pipes.' 15+1 will dissuade up to two dozen punks, esp. after they watch the first ten gutshot and writhing on the ground.  Thugs, by definition, attack when they can do so without significant threat to themselves; were not talking about the Mujahideen here, are we?

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:41 | 2015215 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:54 | 2015289 repete
repete's picture

"Imagine being out in public with your family and  you are armed, but there are over a dozen thugs with bats and pipes."


This must either be England or Pre k!

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:33 | 2015341 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Everyone is getting hurt any way. Shoot. Fuck them.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:38 | 2015395 UnderDeGun
UnderDeGun's picture

Did you mean to say that the other way around?

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:37 | 2015392 UnderDeGun
UnderDeGun's picture

Pick your battles is right.  But if they are coming hard for us and theres no way out there is nothing for it but to "make it rain."  Lead rain that is.  I'm just glad I live in Texas.

"Now you do the math. With about 24 million Texans living in the Lone Star State, there are a little over two guns for every man, woman, and child. (Hey, maybe that's where the popular saying comes from, you know, "Don't Mess With Texas"!)  Ref:

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 00:07 | 2023196 sumosamurai
sumosamurai's picture

What makes you think that members of the family aren't armed too?

I never go out with less than 3 spare clips (personal) and my wife and kids are all excellent markmen. 

Rule #1 - keep the enemy at  a reasonable shooting distance and avoid being encroached upon.

Rule#2 - Retreat when possible or prudent - especially if overwhemed

Rule #3 - If forced to fight attempt to kill them all. They'll surely do the same to you.


Properly trained people can draw a pistol and fire 3 rounds into a target's multiple vitals in under 3 seconds. Practice.

If possible use a rifle.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:25 | 2014947 European American
European American's picture

"This is a snapshot of what Anonymous thinks will be useful for your survival in case of a violent 

revolution in your country. As most of Anonymous works, it will be constantly changed, reused, 

improved etc. So watch for newer releases. 

The guide is far fom beeing complete and is no panacea, so DO NOT SWITCH OFF YOUR BRAIN."


How about spelling and punctuation for "improvements"?


For more improvements, add an arsenal to your portfoliio in the security department.


For even more improvements, if you've printed out this snapshot, use it to light a fire to keep warm.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:43 | 2015086 MrSteve
MrSteve's picture

Agreed, these ultra-lightweight instructions are adequate for assuring you will be one of the early counts who gets disposed of in a body bag, possibly with a toe tag.

If you need survival information, get it from the Marines, Seals, LDS, etc. who are people who have actually survived something heavy and lived to teach others.



Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:00 | 2015238 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

This is a good short read on defense.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:40 | 2015396 UnderDeGun
UnderDeGun's picture

NFA Trusts are wonderful things.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:50 | 2015164 Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

Yours is pretty much the only country left where you can just 'get a gun or two' if you decide you want to..... maybe you guys could start arming the resistances while your government arms the dictators and opressors?

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:50 | 2015223 DosZap
DosZap's picture



Yours is pretty much the only country left where you can just 'get a gun or two' if you decide you want to.

Amazing no?,WE are not QUITE as stupid as some have been led to believe.

235yrs+, and we are not planning on giving them up, nor having them taken away.

Pity the SOB's that try.

And I mean ANYONE.

It's not the Governments right to do so,the RIGHT existed before we were a country,long before it.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:52 | 2015406 UnderDeGun
UnderDeGun's picture

"235yrs+, and we are not planning on giving them up, nor having them taken away."

And the reason for that is Americans were never crushed by monarchs nor bred as surfs.  As a matter of fact it was all the trouble makers and assholes and pissed off poor dregs that came to or were sent to America.  I'm proud to be an American in America (and thought of as a hick asshole by the rest of the world (unjustly, of course, because I be one of the nicest people you will ever meet - up to a point).

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 05:23 | 2015527 Andre
Andre's picture

It is an interesting and sobering point that Germany went from one of the most armed civil populations in the world to almost totally disarmed in 6 months after Hitler came to power.

Look at the gun grab after Katrina, and one must ask how much possession really matters. Let's face it, the psychology of facing 5-10 armed home invaders who are armored, well-armed, trained, confident, and ruthless is not the same as facing a group of bat-wielding thugs. Even if you intellectually recognize they are thugs, all our lives we are told they are good. Plus, all our neighbors have been trained to think they are good, who will only act against someone who is bad.

If it does come down to armed door to door searches, and the NDAA makes this almost a certainty, I don't expect much to happen to slow it. There will be a lot of talk about Gandhi and peaceful assertion of rights, which will be ignored.

If you go back over the last few years there is an ominous pattern here. NaturalNews has articles about laws making backyard gardens illegal. WattsUpWithThat has an article today about the EPA taking power generation off line - thousands of megawatts, because it is coal. We have the TSA and the expansion of checkpoints, mentioned at PrisonPlanet. We have the consistent non-prosecution of the criminal behavior of the financial elite. We have the SOPA bill. We have offshoring, based in no small measure on the MFN and free-trade treaties. We have the relegation of Congress to the level of a vestigial organ of government, incapable of acting as a check upon the executive - and note, all of the active measures (FDA, EPA, TSA, treaty negotiations, etc) are from the executive branch.

In short, for the last umpty years there has been a slow but observable effort by the government to make personal independence and real personal choice very difficult, if not impossible. This level of patience is unusual, almost oriental. There is a subtlety here that is - different. Not what is normally expected. This next year will be interesting.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:45 | 2015400 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

People who make it easy for robbers to get what they want are more often than not re-victimized as they are identified as a honeypot.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:27 | 2015062 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Guerllia warfare, hit and run tactics, heavy reliance on good intelligence, and bold lightning stirkes against tactically important targets.

Yes, some years ago I watched a documentary about this process. I believe it was called "Red Dawn".

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:33 | 2014356 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Beg to differ, 1st rule is to come to terms with one's own mortality, then keep a low profile.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:17 | 2014824 cheeseheader
cheeseheader's picture

bt--You're on to something.  It's very hard to win a war (and stayed won) against those unafraid to die.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:29 | 2015338 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

"Good men are better than numbers." Oliver Cromwell


In this upcoming unpleasantness, as the Southerners would say, it would be best to make one's peace with God and know one's moral compass.  Without that, fear rules the day.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:54 | 2014241 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

You think it can only happen in Europe (and not in the USA)?

How long do you think the US government can keep the system from imploding with a trillion+ of deficit spending?

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:07 | 2014781 Element
Element's picture

Exactly, they can't stop the spending they have unleashed without it imploding, and they can't spend enough either, because the system will likewise implode.

But even this is beside the point, a mere symptom, because if the REAL investment mechanism is broken and demolished (i.e. not the parasitic 'investments' that most of the useless 'trading' and 'investor' cunts do, merely to skim cents off other people's capital reserves, and then think and pontificate that they are the 'good-actors' in the system), due to massive and endless frauds, then REAL production generating a healthy economy will inevitably disappear also.

The US system of investment of prior productive returns has completely blown its own foot off. Hence that system has been in progressive systemic decline since about 1970.

And even that misses the point, when ~4% of the global population in the US is consuming a large chunk of premium global resources, and is primarily just making war and tools of war with it.

Which is the ultimate in misallocating and wasting of 'investments', and resources.

The result of all this can ONLY be another strategic war, or else civil wars and revolutions, or all of the above.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:57 | 2015368 sun tzu
sun tzu's picture

And even that misses the point, when ~4% of the global population in the US is consuming a large chunk of premium global resources,


Don't forget that 80% of the global population is living in mud or straw huts with no electricity or sewage system. The ruling elites do not need those people except to destroy the middle class in the industrialized nations.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 08:14 | 2015624 Bullframe
Bullframe's picture

And even that misses the point, when ~4% of the global population in the US is consuming a large chunk of premium global resources, and is primarily just making war and tools of war with it.

Lol, 4% of the global population in the US. How about you go watch the domestic world series :-)

I don't like to pull out the US-arrogance card but I feel the rumbling in society. I'm from the Netherlands and truly hope the US will hold the world together. But in the last years I’ve came to the conclusion they can't and are prepared to make it even worse to keep status quo. The most revolting is that the US is holding power over almost everything and everybody but if it happens the other way around it is perceived as an act of war on and by the US, it makes me sick. If a country occupies a few country's for years and years and don't even let the victims of the perpetual war's inside their own border without 1million checks it will get retaliation in the form of bombs and terror, it's pretty simple and rational.

If I want to go to the states I have to fill out an online-form at least 4 weeks prior to departure. I will get asked 4 times what I’m doing in the states at the border and have to tell it 4 times in detail. My bags will be checked 2 or 3 times with questioning. If I answer one question with a sarcastic notion I will lose another few hours. Arriving in the US basically consists of lots of negative experiences and people who seem to have put the development of humor and rational thinking into the development of fat.

I once walked green traffic light in the US but before I reached the other side the light went red. An officer came to me as if I’ve just shot somebody in the face. I tried to explain the situation (he did not see the green light) but he did not let me speak one word. And if I would say something, it would be considered an obstruction of.. something. I was in jail for 2 hours because the had to back-check my personalia since I'm a foreigner.

I'm not a hater, just stating facts and experience. If I watch US television channels and see how the media loves the US and hates everything else, there is no other way than war, it's going to be an endgame of power. Hearing Michelle Bachmann speak during televised presidential debates about the necessity of war almost everywhere in the middle east makes me lose faith in humanity, it is very wrong and destructive for mankind as a species.

Please watch this. I know it's FOX but most people just take it as it is.
I just want to kick the Republican Strategist Magaret Hoover hard in the face, a few times. It must be hard for her. A country with liberal laws that has way better statistics in crime, healthcare, unemployment ect.. Don't forget who found your country, developed the stock and stockmarket and is the third largest investor in the US, MAGARET! (sorry I just watched it again, it still get's me mad)

How one of humanity's primary emotions, love, is only recently approved by law to exercise is beyond me (beeing gay). I just can't understand.

I've you seen the video and read my text, please tell me how me or another individual is supposed to perceive the US? That is a question the US doesn't seem to wonder, the power of the US only goes on way. I truly hope Ron Paul will get some sense back into skewed thinking Americans! PS I love ZH and you guys, but the USA is much bigger than smart people.

Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:19 | 2023487 Element
Element's picture

Amsterdam! ... dude you're like totally freaking me out ... how can you be so stoned all the time, and like, write stuff?

Relax, I'm kidding, I'm not American, I'm the next worse thing ... no, not a mentally handicapped rabid rat-bastard skunk ... an Australian.

I watched your vid and it reminded me of North Korea, where people have no clue how warped and insane they are, for they only know fear and the insanity-creating lies concerning the rest of the world. And the really sad thing is those dopey fascist bimbos that said all that lying crap about your home probably know none of it is true.  And in that respect it really is getting more like North Korea every year.

It seems a big portion of the US population actually want to knowingly luxuriate in a warm sticky bath of pure stupidity and lying.

I met an American girl in Australia a few years ago and she said she was wondering why there were no police around.  And I said what do you mean?  And paraphrasing, she replies that in the US if you go out there is police almost each block, and if you go out after dark you had better have a good reason to, because if they pull you over, and they will pull you over, she says, then they are going to ask a lot of direct questions, and you better be able to answer them, or you would think twice about going out, especially after mid-night.

I said, "It's because you're living in a Police-State."

And she just stared at me for a time speechless.  She's wondering if she heard me right, and I can see she's asking herself if I really said what she thinks she heard?  Yep, he said that for real ... and is it true? .... well it ... er, it, ... she got stuck ... didn't know what to say, as it was clear she couldn't just deny it.  But nor could she psychologically accept the shock of it being told so bluntly why we don't have or need police everywhere. And said openly in a public setting, with no fear, and no shadow of doubt.  America's supposed to be paradise on a stick. People in other countries are to be condescended to, thought less of, and here's this guy who clearly thinks I'm the one to be pitied and awoken to reality.

She had to be outside of it and free of it for a week or so to begin to recognise what a police state is - the USA.

This girl is having this epiphany right in front of me, seeing what a crock she had swallowed all her life, then she comes to a country where people aren't harassed and meaninglessly destroyed by police for little or no reason all the time, and she can hardly believe there are places like this and they're good, friendly, happy places, that aren't full of gangs, drugs, con-men, venal arseholes and endlessly corrupt agro pigs who love to destroy freedom and the pursuit of happiness at every turning etc.  

She'll never look at the USA in the same way again after being able to go out all night for a month and never being pulled over and harassed.

At some point those police and the liars are going to have to be confronted and beaten back down, sack, arrested and imprisoned, or they will never stop, and the US people will never again experience a country free of this sham of a so called 'rule-of-law'. What rule-of-law really means is a Police State wants to protect you.

It's a protection racket where the thugs now wear the uniforms and perform the shakedowns.

And you sure aren't going to talk to the police about it.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 17:44 | 2014747 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

Dude, they've already lost most of them.  Lots of morons out there think of themselves as reasonable, well educated people who understand that we have to fight terrorism and are willing to give up their rights to do so.  Unfortunately, they're unwilling to consider that their own government propagates the terror meme.  By the time they get it, it'll be too late for them.  A lot of them will try to get on the 'right side' of history and join the real terrorists...

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:43 | 2014991 Oquities
Oquities's picture

your Android call is weak. the cel towers will come down the first week.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:09 | 2014290 chubbar
chubbar's picture

If they are taking your gold they are taking your resources to survive. You might as well accept that they are coming to kill you and defend your property as you will probably die without it.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:35 | 2014365 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

And thousands (during French Revolution) and millions (during Russian Revolution) of people died defending their property.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:51 | 2014413 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Que Sera..

"with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:12 | 2014813 Clark Bent
Clark Bent's picture

Sans bravado, if you conclude you are going to eat it anyway there may be some useful things you can do before you check out. Start making friends now, you are very likely to need them. 

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:26 | 2014511 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

They died not defending it too.  Solzhenitsyn recommended resistance.

"And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family?


Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, polkers, or whatever else was at hand? After all, you knew ahead of time that those bluecaps were out at night for no good purpose. And you could be sure ahead of time that you'd be cracking the skull of a cutthroat.


Or what about the Black Maria sitting out there on the street with one lonely chauffeur – what if it had been driven off or its tires spiked. The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin's thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt!


If... if... We didn't love freedom enough. And even more – we had no awareness of the real situation. We spent ourselves in one unrestrained outburst in 1917, and then we hurried to submit. We submitted with pleasure! ........... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward."


The Gulag Archipelago – Aleksandr Isayevich Solzhenitsyn


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 17:00 | 2014595 Cult_of_Reason
Cult_of_Reason's picture

Only God knows how many died on the forced road to Siberia and in the work camps -- in the gulags to work and die as slaves.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 17:08 | 2014642 twotraps
twotraps's picture

agree with you and its a great philosophy read, might even be really practical and end up being The way forward in such a situation.   I would offer that the problem is that the bulk of the population in the US is so far removed from anything remotely 'Soviet' like Mr S faced.  We can read it, talk about it, but its hard to sink in.  Like religious battle, or Irish Rep Army.  To this day, people will never relent because their father and their fathers father were killed by the Enlgish.....there can be no peace, they spend their lives killing the English and can't be swayed.  Not being in their shoes, we can't begin to know that kind of suffering.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 17:44 | 2014746 Beard of Zeus
Beard of Zeus's picture


Seeing all the fat hispanics and blacks in military uniform in my community recently (national guardsmen and reservists passing through), I'm not worried in the least when these mercenaries come for me and my people.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:20 | 2014946 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

If your network is large enough, there's no need to run. Besides, they'll likely use foreign NATO troops anyway, while all those overweight reservists sweat it out in a Middle East desert.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:09 | 2015179 DosZap
DosZap's picture



Besides, they'll likely use foreign NATO troops anyway,

Worst mistake they can & will make....................worldwide people look to the Blue Hats as Peace Keepers.(most like them showing up)

In America,they will be target 1.

They will see them as invaders,not helpers, or visitors, or peacekeepers,or Brits,or Canucks,or any nationality.

Bank it.

I have heard and seen far too many conversations on this issue, I already KNOW there are foreign troops here,have been for quite a spell,melded into our society awaiting the Bell for round 15.

SO do many others(Americans).They will not be welcomed trust me.

Who will have the easiest time busiting caps into Americans heads in America if orders are not followed?,Foreigners.

Because we are just Angolans, or Somalis,Iraqis, to most of them,one more rotation,one more tour of duty.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:05 | 2015247 Iam_Silverman
Iam_Silverman's picture

"Worldwide people look to the Blue Hats as Peace Keepers."

Do not mistake the blue helmets of the UN peacekeeping forces for NATO deployed forces.  Different group entirely.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:11 | 2015378 Freddie
Freddie's picture

What NATO troops? UK?  Doubt that.  Most of European armies are unionized.   The EU is also broke.  It is a unionized public works program in Europe.  Check the facts.

Swedes, Danes, Dutch or Norwegians? I doubt that.  Finns for the UN. They are tough bastards but it ain't happening. 

Spain or Italy? The Italians were not keen to fight for Mussolini.   Germans?  They are good soldiers but if you have some beer to offer them, they probably will leave you alone.

Eastern europeans.  The Poles are tough but the communist leadership knew the Polish Army would never go against the Polish people.  These people lived under communists and they don't like muslims.  Especailly muslims destroying a former ally of Poland.

As far as NATO - I bet a town of southerners in the SE USA to Texas to American males in the Midwest have a lot more firepower.  They probably shoot their guns a lot more than NATO troops too.

Most "rednecks" and "hillbillies" are damn good shots.  They are like those Swiss reservists and Swiss people who enjoy target shooting.

Here is what happened to someone named "Mustafa" tries to rob a good old boy at a gold shop.   You don't provoke southerners.  Mustafa was lucky cause the good old boy usually "carries" and said he would have shot him. Mustafa had an air gun.


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 08:46 | 2015651 10mm
10mm's picture

The clerk is a South Paw hitter.Those leftys are rare but look out.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:55 | 2015012 Ceteris paribus
Ceteris paribus's picture

The Russian revolution they had been disarmed , if you have no gun you are a victim.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:03 | 2015027 Ghostmaker
Ghostmaker's picture

It would be best to have a large family of 15 like minded folks that are taking this stuff seriously and have a plan to evacuate the populated areas quickly to a safe house.

All it takes is preparation. Food stores, Katdyn water filtration equipment. 2000 rounds of ammo for each weapon.

If you have lots of money body armor would be a wise investment.


You can't eat gold. I'll trade food for medical supplies or something else that is of equal value.

Bic lighters, are great trade items.

Wouldn't hurt to have a wood stove also.



Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:09 | 2014102 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Molon Labe.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:54 | 2015007 akak
akak's picture

It's actually spelled "Molson Golden".

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:40 | 2015083 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Nah, it's "Molen Golson"

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 14:56 | 2014243 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

It's obvious this anon group isn't American.  Nobody calls a flashlight a "torch", and woefully inadequate with respect to firearms.  If SHTF my neighbors will sport tac vests filled with mags, a rifle AR/AK, and a sidearm.


Don't tell me not to drink

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 15:32 | 2014354 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Drink makes for a piss poor sight picture.....but its your neck.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:38 | 2014543 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Im just talking about a few shots of liquid courage to keep me bold, and not to mention numb any apprehensions toward doings what needs to be done. I certainly don't advocate getting fall down shortages drunk. My local gun range is pretty rural, so I get to practice with a little buzz going.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 16:56 | 2014599 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Fucking autocorrect shitfaced is a word you assholes.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:10 | 2015039 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture

Damn, but that's funny...  especially with all your apparent bluster!


No offense.  I like you, HGR.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:41 | 2015146 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

he cannot laugh who cannot laugh at himself


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:07 | 2014799 Element
Element's picture

Actually only north americans call a torch a flashlight.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:24 | 2014842 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

That's because WE speak English properly.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 19:02 | 2014898 Element
Element's picture

Sure you do, that's why it's called American, instead of English.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:44 | 2015017 akak
akak's picture

Get back to us when the Englanders learn to properly say "while" instead of this idiotic "whilst", "learned" and "burned" instead of "learnt" and "burnt" (hint: "-ed" makes the past tense of a verb), and manage to pronounce the "r"s that are actually IN a word, and NOT pronounce "r"s that are nowhere to be found --- just what the FUCK is "vodker and tonic", anyway? 

If I hear ONE more damned Brit say "Indiar and Chinar are ..." I am going to throw up!  And for any Englishmen reading this, dont' try to deny that you say exactly that, because you do. 

Furthermore, what is your congenital difficulty with properly pronouncing simple words of foreign origin such as "pasta" and "lava"?  The intial vowels are NOT short "a"s, but have the sound of "ah", just as in Italian.  Oh, and all desserts are NOT "pudding", nor do all vacations fall on a "holiday"!

Every time I am watching a movie at home with a largely or entirely British cast, I invariably have to turn the volume WAY up just to (barely) be able to understand their mushy, cotton-mouthed accents.

PS: Don't even get me started on that bizarre, secret twin language that they speak "down under".


OK, linguistic rant over.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:47 | 2015088 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

I'll forgive the Brits for adding "r's" to India and China when you can get Americans to REMEMBER that there's an "r" in "pahk", "yahd', etc. (Thank you, Mayor -- er, Mayah -- Quimby)

Oh, and that "real" is not an adverb, while "really" is.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:53 | 2015097 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Naw, them folks talking all pahk and yahd ain't speakin' no English. That there's New English.


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:24 | 2015330 akak
akak's picture

I still laugh thinking about a first-year fellow college student from down the hall in my dorm asking me it I wanted to come to his "pahttie" that weekend --- I thought he was inviting me to the bathroom!

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:55 | 2015100 akak
akak's picture

It is only certain New Englanders and (less educated) New Yorkers who drop the "r"s from words, a la British or Australian English (sic).  If you do not live in the USA, note that they are a constant laughing-stock for the rest of the nation in that regard.

Agreed about "real" and "really" --- adn while we're at it, most Americans could stand to learn the difference between the adverb "quickly" and the adjectives "quick" and "fast".  And God forbid, let's not EVEN get into the whole "good" vs. "well" issue!

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:42 | 2015150 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

Memo: "water" is spelt "water" and it's pronounced "water".  It is neither spelled nor pronunced "warda".  So why the fuck do seppo waiters look at me like I'm from another planet when I ask for "water".  "Ahhh, you mean warda, right?"

Glass houses, mate.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:08 | 2015196 akak
akak's picture

"Seppo waiters"?

Is that some sort of reference to Orientals of some kind?
I've never heard anyone pronounce "water" as "warda".

Perhaps it is you who has the pronunciation problem?

The fact that you used the word "mate" leads me to suspect that you are an Aussie, in which case you should know that many of you folks are just about unintelligible to any other speakers of English (most notably Americans, who DO pronounce "water" as it properly should be --- with an "r" at the end, not ending in the syllable "uh").  I have had customers from Queensland with whom I had to communicate, in person, via writing, as I simply could not comprehend their bizarre accent --- nor the crazy slang that Aussies love to pepper their speech with, even while knowing full well that NOBODY outside of their own country is going to understand it.


PS: Water is spelled "water" --- "spelt" is a grain.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:06 | 2015370 Element
Element's picture

nor the crazy slang that Aussies love to pepper their speech with, even while knowing full well that NOBODY outside of their own country is going to understand it.


hahahah! ... fuckya! ...

notice how 'mherakins pronounce the word "ROOF"?


I kid you not!

And they presume to berate the rest of the world about how to speak inglwish?


I used to make an effort to use 'mherakin spelling and date formats at zh and other predominantly US blogs, out of politeness. Don't know why I bothered.

And it's pronounced zed, not zee, you hapless ignorant cultural-imperialists ... too much Sesame Street will mess you up.

BTW, Bolivia just gave the Big Mac the arse!  lol

... losing grip (strangle hold) uncle sambo

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:22 | 2015384 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Left-tennant? Is that the renter in one side of duplex or a british military officer? :-)

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:32 | 2015388 akak
akak's picture

Obviously, I struck a sore point with another Aussie (pronounced "awe-see").

While I agree with you on "zed" --- my surname contains a "c" immediately followed by a "z", and is ALWAYS screwed up when I give it people over the phone as "see - zee" --- you must admit that Australians are FAR too fond of liberally mixing their own unique and cryptic slang into their speech, even when (or maybe it's ESPECIALLY when?) talking to non-Australians.  Chileans are overly fond of doing the same thing with their own garbled version of Spanish as well, as I found out to my great chagrin while traveling there --- I was beginning to suspect that I had landed in an alternate universe, where their language only superficially sounded like Spanish.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:39 | 2015394 Element
Element's picture

You realise we're just taking the piss, right?

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:59 | 2015403 akak
akak's picture

LOL, again, you lost me there --- mate.



PS: I've always been a keen observer of accents, as I grew up in a multi-lingual family and neighborhood, and live in one of the most linguistically mixed-up states in the USA.  I can't help not noticing them! (and poking fun at them when appropriate.)

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:11 | 2015418 Element
Element's picture

That's OK,  we realise you have ... difficulties ... so there's a Wiki page ... with citations.



"To take the piss is an expression meaning to mock, tease, ridicule, or scoff.[1] Take the Mickey (Mickey Bliss, Cockney rhyming slang) is a euphemistic way of conveying this expression where the word "piss" may be vulgar. This is most widely used in the United Kingdom, Ireland, South Africa, New Zealand and Australia."

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:19 | 2015421 akak
akak's picture

Hey, talking about accents, I forgot about those of many South Africans --- whoa!

While I find Australian (and some Scottish) accents difficult to decypher, I have to say that South Africans probably have the harshest accents in the English-speaking world --- they somehow always sound angry to me.

I like Irish accents, though, and some people from the US midland states, such as Kentucky and Tennessee --- rural folks from the deep South and parts of Texas, though, can be almost completely incomprehensible.  I used to work with a guy from Texas, nice as could be, but we sometimes ended up speaking in Spanish instead of using English, his accent was so heavy (to my ears at least).

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:48 | 2015441 Element
Element's picture

I always liked a Sheffield accent, because it made me laugh so much ... and then they smile back because you keep laughing ... and it just keeps feeding-back ... so you laugh even more.  I used to play squash with a guy from there and he always grabbed the ball when I was beating him, and he started saying funny shit that got me laughing, then he would start slamming me with the ball before I could recover ... the sneaky prick lol ... whatever works,

South Africans sound more conservative and condescending than angry to me.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:05 | 2015454 akak
akak's picture

Can't say that I know the Sheffield accent --- is it anything like the Manchester one?

I still get pegged as the Midwesterner that I grew up as, even though I have not lived in that region of the US for many years, but I do like to think that my accent is fairly "neutral", at least as American accents go.  My favorites to mock, though, are the West Coasters, people from coastal California and the cities of Portland and Seattle --- they have a lightspeed-fast and  choppy way of speaking ("like a machine gun", as I always say) and a weird, quasi-Canadian accent on their vowels that always makes me ask "Please repeat that?" --- pronouncing "dollar" like "dawler", and "mail" like "mell", and "feel" like "fill", for example --- very strange.  Oddly, it is mostly just the women who speak that way, although I have heard men do it too.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:12 | 2015480 Element
Element's picture

I like a lot of Brit accents, and they can sound like Australians when they finally stop trying to imitate, and just relax.  

One English accent that drives me bananas is English-speaking Portuguese people. There's something about the way they spit out every syllable, staccato-style, that sets me on edge. I can't bare to listen to them long, in either English or Portuguese. And they have a propensity to speak very loudly in public, like no one's around to have to suffer through it, and they hold lengthy conversations with mobile phones that clearly are aimless stupid crap. They're the most scrambled people I've encountered, and I end up being increasingly direct and abrupt with them, and they actually respond to some barely concealed physical damage to come, which also does not assist me to think more highly of them.

Wouldn't mind bangin' that like a dunny door!


BTW a dunny is a backyard out-house and the door can ... well, never mind.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:44 | 2015510 akak
akak's picture

Funny, I've never really been around Portuguese people, speaking English or anything else for that matter.  But staccato!  THAT was the word I was looking for in regard to the American West Coast accent!  It is VERY staccato!

I can also tell you that I have (apparently) insulted more than one Brit by asking them, based on their accent, if they were from Australia --- you'd think I had accused them of having a venereal disease. 

But while speaking Spanish in South America and Mexico, very few people ever guessed me to be an American --- most would guess that I was German or some other European nationality, for some reason.  I thought it was a hoot to get them to try to guess where I was from --- most would say that they could usually spot an American accent right off, and I am not even entirely fluent in Spanish to begin with.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 07:05 | 2015562 Element
Element's picture

lol ... yeah ... we mess with each other a lot.  But if they get lippy I might tease them how they gave away the richest continent on Earth for their 60 million people to live in and urban wasteland. They point out the invigorating Land's-End scenery and picturesque Scottish bogs etc. and that the Queen of Australia is British, therefore we're Colonial British Subjects. But that's a point they really don't want to test out, because it would change overnight, if they ever did.

But let's cut the small talk for a bit.

The really close connection and reliance on England ended when Britain not only did not turn up for WWII in the Pacific (as we did for them in Europe en-masse on two occasions) but they actually tried to order Australians troops to not return from Europe, to defend Australia, and Churchill blandly and ruthlessly claimed they could recover it again later, after Hitler was defeated. So we knew they'd be completely useless as future allies and were actually working against an effective defence here, and didn't really care if our soldiers families were butchered and occupied by Japan.

That didn't go down well at all and was never forgotten by the military. In a strategic war even the closest of allies actually will not turn up, even if they otherwise wanted to, or agreed too, because they're always going to be more worried about losing their own cities.

Which is why the US 'nuclear umbrella' concept completely falls apart, and has always been considered a ridiculous and dangerous strategic joke. We know it does not exist in practice, regardless of any levels of US reassurance, hence the enduring desire in Canberra for the US to base troops here, because without that, Australia has no choice but to quietly go nuclear. Australians like Brits, a lot, but they're never going to be here, in big enough numbers, to make much difference in a future strategic battle. Nor will NATO.

And most Govts realise a no-holds-barred winner-takes-all strategic war is possible. So no matter what an ally does, Australia will do whatever it has to survive that.  It's one of the reasons Wikileaks cables discussed the importance of advanced Australian biomedical labs and immunology.  And why we had four almost continuously-operating secret HEU programs here from 1965 to 1998, and possess the most advanced and efficient uranium enrichment tech ever developed anywhere.  The British wouldn't even help us with early HEU technologies in exchange for allowing them to test and develop A-bombs and H-bombs here.  So there's some feeling of betrayal that lingers on to this day.

I don't think the British even fully understand what they did, and hence the USA also can not and will not be absolutely trusted not to betray us in order to save the US from attack.  So it requires a lot of cunning to create a viable defence sans a US and European intervention.

The main reason why ANZUS works and survived is because the US knows we will immediately go nuclear if there is any hint of US wavering in the Western Pacific, and we also know that US companies can starve us of maintenance spares to try and force us into compliance, because they did this in the early 1990s and that lesson also will never be forgotten.

So there's a very fine line between our two country's, and Britain is a very small factor now.  And the ANZUS connection will be tested, and this is why China nor anyone else has any chance of compelling, or else sweet-talking Australia into separating with the US, no matter what that means.  Because if we did it would necessarily lead to finding new weapon suppliers or developing our own (like we made sure we did with the Collins Class SSG) and to full-scale underground nuclear tests.  No one here wants to do that, but if another regional war breaks out in Asia then Australia may have no choice due to the new levels of PLAN and PLAAF mobility.

The question is, would the US care much if Australia did that?  I don't think so, for two good reasons;

1) The US is going to need us as much as we need the US this century, thus mutual separation is not going to happen.

2) The US can do nothing to prevent or reverse it, and knows it, so the US will necessarily accept it privately as they did with Britain, France and Israel.

Hence pending US bases in Australia serve all strategic interests and sends the necessary signals for everyone, what the arrangement is going to be this century, unless war changes that arrangement via force.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 05:00 | 2015523 Element
Element's picture

Sheffeild accent:

When you get a jockular sort of person speaking like that ... it's pretty damn funny.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 05:09 | 2015525 akak
akak's picture

I'm not too up on my British accents, although I can tell right off that this guy is not from London, for example.

Now, if you want a REALLY strange accent, let me find you a video of an Alaskan Eskimo accent!  It took me years to get it down pat, but I can even crack THEM up now when I do it.


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:58 | 2015105 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I hear ya, bro, but don't be too hard on 'em. Ain't nobody never learned 'em no good English, and they have to eat horrible food. (I mean, come on, spotted dick? WTF?)


Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:00 | 2015176 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...spotted dick?

Where the hell do they get that?...the Red Light District?

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 22:14 | 2015186 Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

What are you on about?  No one I know has even heard the term spotted dick? (r u sure you weren't taking a piss when you wrote that?)   bro is New Zealand (Kiwi) slang .... Digger or mate is the Aussie equiv.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:06 | 2015300 akak
akak's picture

"Spotted dick" is some kind of English dessert --- I have seen it in a can at my local supermarket, from England.  I gather from the picture on the label and the ingredient list that it is some sort of raisin-containing, tapioca-like pudding, but have never been bold enough to actually try it.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:53 | 2015360 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

Spotted Dick with Lemon Syrup (pic)

had it, years ago - it's a "steamed pudding" best described as thick, heavy, dough with currants. . .

pretty nasty, like a bad fruitcake.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 01:33 | 2015389 Element
Element's picture




Before the pitiful americana cultural invasion, Australia had:

Breakfast = Morning meal

Dinner = Midday Meal


Tea = Night time meal

Then we all realised that these poor mherakins din't even realise that Dinner was a midday meal, so we politely decided not to embarrass them at their humorous ignorance, so adjusted our terms to let them think they were right about something. It was a bit of an 'in'-joke, here.

We realised they weren't very clever as the silly bastards even called chips 'french-fries'. And that really was going too far.

But we still didn't want to be rude to our dumb cousins, but this changed for a lot of people when MacDonald's invaded our suburbs like a foul dietary pestilence, and destroyed our corner "milk bar's" business via predatory pricing, and told the Australian staff that if some bogan asks for a "large chips", then they were required to politely steer said colonial ignoramus into calling them french-fries, as we clearly had no idea what we wanted.

And that one unbelievably arrogant event, more than anything else I remember was the greatest cultural affront America could deliver, and they clearly knew this, and obviously didn't give a toss whether we were offended by this or not, and it's why so many people refuse to eat anything MacDonalds, to this day. And since regard all things americana with intense distain and antipathy.

Now you know how it is fucker. :-)

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:13 | 2015413 akak
akak's picture

I applaud your reaction and attitudes towards that culinary and nutritional blight that is MacDonalds --- a chain into which I have not set foot since 1984, and even then it was only under duress.  I spit on that fat and salt-laden swill, and the lard-ass swine who frequent it.  My contempt for the very concept of MacDonalds could not be less than your own.

On the other hand, you Aussies must own up to your own unique culinary abomination, one that haunts me to this day, more than 20 years since I first (and last) tasted the foul, salty, demonic excrescence: Marmite



As for your mealtimes, those in my family were in two patterns:



supper (more like a typical lunch)

In both cases, dinner was the biggest meal of the day.  It typically followed breakfast on holidays such as Christmas, sometimes on Saturdays, and almost always on Sundays (when my grandmother would fix dinner).  I'm not sure how typical that was for the average American family, though.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:32 | 2015430 Element
Element's picture

Ok, maybe I was a bit too scathing.

You can't be all evil if you genuinely despise Ronald MacDonald.

I'm not a fan of Marmite either but I do like a Vegemite 'n cheese 'sanger' (sandwich), but the cheese has to be real, not that frightful thin-sliced plastic crap with the suspicious yellow/cream hue and foul sticky texture that claims to be 'cheese' (and used to be called 'coon' ... but now isn't) which also showed-up about the same time that spastic tedious clown, and its vile side-kick appeared.

Would love to see the market research notes on the selection of those two dippy losers as corporate mascot. I suspect MacDonald's finally realised they're not working, because you don't see adds with them anymore ... thank God.

supper (more like a typical lunch)

ah, OK, because we used those too sometimes, but supper was the biggest meal.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:45 | 2015435 akak
akak's picture

I'm not sure how many of the crap-food chains have infiltrated Australia (nor how many home-grown ones you might have), but it is not just MacDonalds for me --- Wendy's, BuggerKing, TacoHell, Arby's --- I shun them all.  That kind of crap is TOTALLY off my dietary radar.  I'm not saying that I eat like some hermit in a cave, or never eat less-than-healthy stuff like the occasional ice cream or corn chips, but damn, if I want to commit suicide, I will just put a gun to my head and be done with it --- none of those cancer and diabetes-filled years of declining health due to eating garbage for decade after decade (AND smoking), thank you.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:00 | 2015448 Element
Element's picture

We have Wendy's and BuggerKing and Red Rooster, Sizzler, Domino's, Subway and Pizza Hut -- they are mostly horrid.

But there was an "American Spare-Rib" joint at one point with smoked lamb ribs and a delicious sweet chilli-plumb sauce ... I really couldn't resist.

Funny thing is, it went broke. I suspect because it was TOO 'americana' in its presentation and just turned people off, because the ribs themselves were mouth-watering.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:10 | 2015457 akak
akak's picture

I wonder if you know about the pseudo-Australian restaurant chain in the USA called "Outback"?  Steaks are the main focus of the menu, from all that I can tell, but I have never eaten in one myself.  They are not "fast food" joints like MacDonalds, however.  They do run incessant and very annoying commercials on TV, though.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:35 | 2015505 Element
Element's picture

Ah, no, I can see how that would be very irritating.  I feel sorry for Americans having to listen to lame stereo-types of Australian 'lingo', because actually, NO ONE here speaks like that. No one craps-on like Paul Hogan does or that moron who took a stingray barb to the chest. The whole point of that charater was that he's an absurd stereo-type, that doesn't exist. That doesn't means Australians won't speak like that, simply to take the piss out of the simple-idiot that he represented. But it's an act.

We do have an Australian chain called "Hog's Breath Cafe" with mesmerising athletic chicks (singular) dancing in pink mini-skirts. This beats Ronald MacDonald ... it just does.

I see you have Hog's Breath in the US already (on utube). It is actually a pretty good place.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:58 | 2015522 akak
akak's picture

Oh yeah, that stingray-in-chest guy (Steve Irwin?) was something else --- listening to him was like having sandpaper dragged across my eardrums.  "CROIkey!  Look at that shAHHHK!  And that SPOYdah!  DIEYNjah!!" 

I remember watching his show with some friends once, couldn't have told you even 20 minutes laters what the episode was about, we were just mocking his accent mercilessly (is that bad?). 

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 06:44 | 2015575 Element
Element's picture

Yeah, I could not bare to listen to him at all.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 02:59 | 2015450 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Your america card has been revoked. Stepping to a southern hemispeherian whilst blaspheming the name of the mighty Roy A. Krok.

I hereby revoke your american card!

1984 was the same time COMMUNIST Russia was a big thing at McDonalds. Maybe you'd like things over there!

Maybe you'd like a Gold medal off a bigmac box that said Zukov on it! I think so good sir!

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:01 | 2015451 Element
Element's picture

holy fuck ... can someone translate?

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 03:13 | 2015460 akak
akak's picture

I thought he was funny as Hell!

Too bad that probably 80% of Americans would agree with him in all seriousness.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:08 | 2015501 Element
Element's picture

 I just took it to be a wacky sort of humor so responded in kind ... 80 percent? ... really?   8-|

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 04:48 | 2015515 akak
akak's picture

OK, of course I was exaggerating for effect.

Certainly not more than 70%.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 20:59 | 2015107 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Ah, go hoover the lou you wanker


Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:54 | 2015363 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture


are you wanting to say "go scrub the bog?"  lol

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 23:04 | 2015244 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

You guys speak "British" which is a dialect of English.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:59 | 2015173 Advoc8tr
Advoc8tr's picture

If your torch is flashing it probably has a loose connection or the LED is overheating.

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 00:40 | 2015348 Element
Element's picture

Or it needs to pull its panties up.

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 18:19 | 2014830 Hollywoodcole
Hollywoodcole's picture

I would agree that report was indeed inadequate with respect to firearms.  The usefulness/plentifulness of each caliber should be addressed (every person in America could in theory have a .22 and 1-2k rounds stuck away; that's not outlandishly expensive by any means), and certainly they should touch on storage (keeping it dry) and having a proper "bug out bag" for your ammo, extra magazines, cleaning kit, and other basic necessities.


And while I have many firearms, and enjoy training classes in which I do sport webgear that gives me quick access to many mags for my AK and pistol, I actually agree with the philosophy that you don't go around "showing force" all the time.  When on my home turf, oh hell yes.  When out and about, no thanks.  I don't need Johnny Law deciding to take my protection away b/c I "open carried" my AK in public.  No thank you.  Again, this is from someone who lives in the city; YMMV if you're in the country (I'd be wearing my webgear 24/7 at that point.)


Bottom line, get a firearm with readily available ammo (9mm, .22 or 12 gauge), learn how to use it, and be prepared to do so if SHTF.  Pray for the best, prepare for the worst.  You aren't going to have a secure castle very long if you can't keep the bad folks out....

Tue, 12/27/2011 - 21:03 | 2015110 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

Don't have to show force to be well armed. My blackhawk crossdraw vest can be easily concealed under a big coat, and holds a pistol with a half dozen mag pouches.

Plus it leaves room in the bug out bag for PMs and lots of ammo

Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:35 | 2019395 Hollywoodcole
Hollywoodcole's picture

True.  My webgear is probably concealable underneath a big jacket as well.  I have 2 bugout bags actually; 1 for guns and ammo, and the other for basic supplies like first aid kit, bag nasties, water purification tablets, simple sleeping bag and tent, etc, so I'm not too concerned about space there.


So I agree with you, but definitely don't agree with showing what you have unless it's time to use it.  No point in giving johnny law an excuse to take your protection away; as they don't know who the "good guys" and "bad guys" are (or, worst case scenario, they are now part of the "bad guys".)w

Wed, 12/28/2011 - 07:15 | 2015589 Pay Day Today
Pay Day Today's picture

I figure the rest of the world thinks that when the SHTF, the sheer volume of weapons on US streets, and the sheer number of people willing to use them at the slightest (to zero) provocation makes the United States one of the primary places to avoid being stuck when the brown stuff splatters.

Put another way, with everyone packing heat and carrying 1000-2000 rounds, there is going to be a whole lot of unused ammo lying around after its all said and done. Few victors and many many many losers, AR's or no.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!