Presenting Birinyi's Parabolic World... And Bi-Ruler

Tyler Durden's picture

The last time Laszlo Birinyi came out with a bold market prediction was back in January 2011, when he forecast that the market would go to 2,854 by September 4, 2013 (more or less precisely to the dot). Many thought he was joking; he was not, and a month later he repeated the same forecast, leading to the advent of the Birinyi ruler. Needless to say, a year after his initial forecast the market was down. However, now that we have had yet another of the now traditional market blow off top moves on massive liquidity injected by central banks, the time to trot Birinyi back on the stage is upon us, and sure enough earlier today he made an appearance in Bloomberg where he proposed his latest forecast of 1,700 in the S&P by year end. Granted this is less aggressive than his previous forecast, which however still stands, so below we present visually the move that the market has to undergo in order to hit both of his targets, courtesy of John Lohman. Since we now have two waypoints on the road to exponential market nirvana, it is no longer a smooth single sloped, but rather a bi-sloping ramp, for which we can only assume one has to use a "bi-ruler" whatever that may be.

Presenting: the parabolic world according to Laszlo.

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ArkansasAngie's picture

Thanks ... but no thanks.

I'll sit this little ride out on the sidelines.


X. Kurt OSis's picture

That's crazy talk.  S&P 500 returns are always linear and always 30-40% per year to infinity and beyond.  With a prudent amount of leverage, every investor should be able to double his or her money every few days.  Who would be so crazy as to sit this out?????

Fuck the Fed.  So many other CB's to mash Ctrl+P buttons.  We don't need no stinking QE3!


JPM Hater001's picture

Anyone have an account application?  I want to fill it out in crayon.

LongSoupLine's picture

I think Birinyi is misunderstood and that chart represents his Viagra goals.

non_anon's picture

psycho-tropic drugs required to participate

Lady Heather...UNCLE's picture we should buy?  ok, I am in.,..where is the offer in Au?  MINE!!

fonzannoon's picture

This works well with the Israel CB article no?

CuriousPasserby's picture

I'll stick with physical, bitchez!

And buying PO money orders for cash keeps it low profile.

resurger's picture

"Impossible is Nothing"

the S&P has tied the knot with robo

Bid is disabled

fourchan's picture

didnt he used to be a huge short in the 90's?

joq's picture
Laszlo Birinyi is reaching an age where one might suspect he is getting senile.
Caviar Emptor's picture

And with the worst case of ED in the free world

TruthInSunshine's picture

A shark reportedly jumped Laszlo Birinyi today.

If he's right, Citi will be around $500 in about 19 months

Maybe I should buy after all...some of the worst companies (that literally have negatives in every metric) have been 5 or 10 baggers in the last 3 years, so they probably have a lot more room to run, and there's probably no risk that they'll revert back to pricing reflective of their fundamentals ever again.

Mongo's picture

Exponential ponzi

Death and Gravity's picture

How many here watch television as anything other than a reminder of how retarded and manufactured public opinion is?

Snapperton's picture

I am with you on this one.  I have been trying to convince certain members of my family that they need to stop digesting televised news.  There are people who find it way too appealing.  It seems like an emotion fest with one side constantly aggravating the other with no resolution.  This is the divide and conquer social engineering strategy in force.  I also find it interesting that we focus so much time and energy on foreign news, but domestic policy and public interest news is mostly lost in the fog of talking heads and political commentary (which is mostly bullshit anyway).  Americans generally have no clue about what's happening in their own country.  The people I work with illustrate this to me every day.  They are always ranting the same bullshit that you hear coming from Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, or even the "A Team" leader of political news, Wolf "Fuzzy Beard" Blitzer and his round table of expensive designer suited cramtheshitdownourthroatswithanger knights.  I have decided to turn it all off and play some more board games with the kids and the occasional bike ride for my increasingly large ass.  The good life doesn't come cheap and it surely won't be maintained by these jokers.  Liberate your mind and try eating less partisan cheese.  You might not find yourself filled by truth at the end of the day (it is elusive), but at least you won't be totally unsatisfied.  They report, you still have no fucking idea what just happened, but decide anyway.  Have a great day sheeples!

thatthingcanfly's picture

Richard Weaver referred to this phenomenon as the "Great Stereopticon."

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

great, put my automatic sell everything in when the S&P hits 2,800, don't want to get greedy

monopoly's picture

Have 0 interest in this market outside of physical and some miners. No thank you.

JPM Hater001's picture

I bought Shorts on the S&P 1150 today with June calls.

Im gonna be rich.

LouisDega's picture

Im not a broker, But i play one one TV. As your broker, I say, Ahhhhhhh, No.

spiral_eyes's picture

Hahahaha 2800 might be a reality...

Remember, markets crash up during hyperinflation. The Zimbabwe stock exchange during their Bernankean era achieved robust growth, vastly outperforming other global exchanges. 

Christoph830's picture

Hmmm interesting.  My forecast was a mirror image....

Caviar Emptor's picture

AAPL = X^2 + 500  - Where X = CB Liquidity ! Parabolic !!

LouisDega's picture

Exactly. Tiger Gottley, Bi Ruler, Hindenberg Omen, Bollinger bands.. Who cares?   Bi ruler this...There is only one. The Bernank - ruler

LouisDega's picture

Correction...AAPL = X^2 + 500 (+3/7/12)Ipad/3=APPLx1000

Frastric's picture

Laszlo Birinyi is so wrong; the S@P500 will be a 1000000 when Bernanke and his central banker minions are done releveraging everything they can get their hands on in the next few years...


LongSoupLine's picture

long wheelbarrows...short wallets.  Weimar, here we come!

Zola's picture

He is "BI-RULING"...Ruler here , ruler there ruler everywhere.... for those who dont understand :

thatthingcanfly's picture

Unfortunately, we get it. No need for the link.

Alex Kintner's picture

Ok so Apple will be at 1700.  Everything else down the drain?

Snapperton's picture

The real tragedy is going to be the rush into the markets from all the people who can least afford to lose.  The other side of this parabolic move is going to be a crash into the depths of hell.  Good luck timing that you greedy bastards.

solgundy's picture


The world was still in order until the summer of 1920, from there on  CPI accelerated within 3.5 years from 10.2  to 1,247,000,000,000.00 !

Tsar Pointless's picture

How many people here - such as myself - remember being told by EW "experts" since back in the Summer of 2009 that "one more rally, then...".

The S&P was in the 800s, or thereabouts. How has the bearish call worked over the past 2-1/2 years since?

It might have been correct, in a normal world, but if you haven't figured it out by now, this ain't no normal world.

The flood of CB money isn't near completion. Correspondingly, neither is the world equity ramp.

ebworthen's picture

A "bi-ruler" measures both ways (marks on both sides of the ruler).

If you don't like 4" flip it around and it will say 8".


Clint Liquor's picture

The FED needs to raise interest rates, but before they do that they need to devalue the USD by 40%. So, Gollum, er-I-mean, Laszlo could be right.

LowProfile's picture

40%  Sounds optimistic.

Before this is over, most cupra-nickle US coinage's melt value will be worth it's nominal value.

JPM Hater001's picture

You mean another 40%?

Can I get a timeframe?  Is that hours or days?

Caviar Emptor's picture

Physicists at CERN have just disclosed that, contrary to traditional thinking,  matter in the universe follows  The Birinyi Certainty Principle. 

Principle # 1 : Everything in the universe proceeds from lower left to upper right

Principle # 2: Everything in the universe follows a parabolic equation

There's a good chance that Birinyi will be up for a Nobel

Island_Dweller's picture

So if THE Major stock market index goes from 666 to 2854 inside of 5 years.  What?  We're supposed to think this is a sign of strength?  The good times are gonna roll? Wake me when the debt ponzi is over.

Clint Liquor's picture

Have the good folks at CERN certified the Bernank's perpetual motion machine, yet?

Caviar Emptor's picture

They're on the brink of a new era in physics thanks to the economists. Bernank is over there now showing them that, yes, perpetual motion IS possible (but you have to believe!)

Clint Liquor's picture

Close your eyes, click your heels three times and believe: That 5% economic growth is possible for eternity, with the correct monetary policy.

poor fella's picture

If I see it, I won't believe it..

Professordoomfinger's picture

Gonna need a bigger purple crayon