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Presenting The Broke Bureaucrat Babel Fish: The Ten Most Misunderstood Euro Phrases Translated Into Americanish

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Of all cunning linguists, Bloomberg's Jon Weil may be the cunningest. You see, the savvy news reporter has figured out that the reason there is zero policy coordination, and whenever Tim Geithner gets involved, negative, is not so much due to the fact that we have two broke ponzi continents trying to outsmart each other as to who is least broke, but, lo and behold, because we speak different languages. In Weil's cunning words, "It’s bad enough for average Americans that most European leaders speak English with heavy accents. What’s worse, even when we can make out the words they utter, it’s almost always impossible to figure out what these officials are really saying. That’s because they’re speaking in Euro-ese. Fortunately, there is an answer to their endless riddles: a Euro-to-English dictionary, excerpts of which I have included below. (Click here to read about its close linguistic cousin: the Goldman Sachs dictionary.) To truly see the meaning of the seismic events rapidly reshaping Europe, you must know what the following 10 Euro terms of art mean in plain American English:" So for the sake of the future of the great Developed Nation KomIntern, here are the ten most misinterpreted phrases...

Per Jonathan Weil:

1. Finance ministry: A house of worship where government leaders go to pray for bailouts, economic miracles, panaceas and other forms of divine intervention.

 

How to use in a sentence: Officials at the Greek Finance Ministry said they remain hopeful the country will receive its next batch of rescue loans in time to avoid a cataclysmic default.

 

2. Coordinated: Chaotic, unfocused, brain-dead, paralyzed to the point of nonexistence; even in its best moments resembling a hopeless klutz.

 

Example: Finance ministers from the Group of 20 nations last week said they were “committed to a strong and coordinated international response to address the renewed challenges facing the global economy.”

 

3. Firewall: A partition made of fireproof material to prevent the spread of flames from one place to another. Of no use in containing a financial crisis, except as vague public- relations catnip for readers of news articles who can’t tell the difference between napalm and a 10-year bond.

 

Usage: U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, who is fluent in both Euro and Mandarin, last weekend urged euro-area nations “to create a firewall against further contagion.”

 

4. Contagion: A financially transmitted psychiatric condition, marked by intense fear of losing everything. Only known treatments in use at the moment are firewalls, rather than anything that actually works.

 

5. Peripheral country: A core, indispensable member of the European Union. Related word: Sovereign, meaning German or subservient to Germany.

 

Example: “Although some peripheral countries in Europe continue to experience acute pressure on their sovereign debts, the risk of a broader contagion throughout the area did not materialize,” Italy’s finance minister, Giulio Tremonti, said April 16, four months before Europe’s central bank rescued Italy via large, open-market purchases of Italian government bonds.

 

6. Stability mechanism: A wooden paddle ball, mainly used for contests between office workers to see how many times they can bounce the little rubber ball off the paddle without missing; also advertised as a cure-all device for comatose economies.

 

Usage: The European Stability Mechanism, due to take effect in 2013 as a permanent successor to the region’s current bailout fund, will have a “lasting, stabilizing, confidence-creating function,” German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble told reporters on Sept. 24.

 

7. TORRP: The much-awaited European version of TARP. Abbreviation derived from the second letter of each of the following countries’ names: Italy, Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain.

 

Rumored to stand for Troubled Obligation Relief Relief Program, providing relief from the relief. In fact, it stands for nothing in particular, like other government institutions. Unlike the U.S. Troubled Asset Relief Program, any TORRP money distributed to European banks is guaranteed never to be repaid.

 

8. Controlled default: The act of telling another country’s government that it’s OK to stiff most creditors, and then watching with morbid fascination to see if the global banking system falls apart. Originally an aviation term used to describe the final landing of the Hindenburg, which crashed all by itself without taking any other zeppelins with it.

 

9. Recapitalize: To transfer money from a country’s middle- class taxpayers to an insolvent bank -- in essence, a bribe to bondholders and senior management -- as a way of ensuring that the wealthy don’t rise up and oust the government.

 

Related term: Austerity. As in, an economic-stimulus program that involves doing exactly the same thing, except the money comes from the citizens of a different country, such as Greece, who are left to subsist on a diet of untreated water and surplus rice.

 

Usage: “More banks may need to be recapitalized,” European Union Competition Commissioner Joaquin Almunia said Sept. 20 at a press conference in Brussels. “That’s why it’s so important to solve the sovereign-debt crisis without a delay.”

 

10. Covered-bond purchase program: Forget it, way too complicated to explain here.

 

Just remember this. The EU and its member nations’ finance ministries are proceeding with their coordinated efforts to erect firewalls, and will never permit contagion to spread beyond the euro area’s peripheral countries. Remain calm. All is well. Everything is under control.

The conclusion:

In addition to their plans to recapitalize Europe’s banks and revitalize the region’s economies, through TORRP and the European Stability Mechanism, there’s always the fallback option of a prepackaged, orderly, controlled default by Greece, even if Europe’s leaders aren’t ready to say so publicly yet. What’s important to keep in mind is that we’re all in this together, regardless of whether you can understand a word any of these people are saying.

In retrospect it is so much easier to interpret our own batch of politidiots: if the lips are moving, you know they are lying. All else is noise.

Read the full Weil thing here.

 

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Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:11 | 1721967 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

No consequences though. So until there actually is retaliation(real, not occupy WS), on either continent, you can bet the same continues on. Endless bureaucracy suffocates all of humanity.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:34 | 1722049 Cynical Sidney
Cynical Sidney's picture

Take what you can, give nothing back!

up is down, down is up

 

arrrrr

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 14:04 | 1722744 Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

7. TORRP: The much-awaited European version of TARP. Abbreviation derived from the second letter of each of the following countries’ names: Italy, Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain."

He forgot to add this: "Not to be confused with "torpor" which is often used to describe the state of the (post TARP) US economy."

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:39 | 1722069 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

In order to help recapitalise banks, the ECB would be wise to ease collateral requirements. One idea would be for the ECB offer loans with existing debt instruments as collateral. That way banks can borrow more which will help with recapitalization, and governments can pledge their bonds as collateral to borrow even more in order to pay off earlier creditors. The net effect is that struggling banks receive critical bond payments, and governments are able to meet their obligations. Its a win-win for everyone.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:44 | 1722087 Cynical Sidney
Cynical Sidney's picture

vote down this foo please. million dollar bonus == timothy geithner's new social media director

yeah levereging the eurotarp is a win win situation alright; would work great for germans no?

end the fiat enslavement or the youth will revolt

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:55 | 1722107 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Many German banks are heavily exposed to Greek debt. Not only that, but a Greek default could trigger a series of defaults throughout Europe, which would be catastrophic for their balance sheets. The German people are smart - they know that their banks are simply TOO BIG TO FAIL. Germans were wise enough to elect economically literate politicians who understand the implications of a Greek default, and courageously voted for further investment in the EFSF, despite the relentless attacks by nasty right-wing libertarians.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:04 | 1722172 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"economically literate politicians" ??? I beg to differ.

The German Government still sells the story that it's all "in order to save the EUR" - if they would sell it as "in order to save the big banks" they would have a completely different situation.

Courage? Perhaps. Foolishness in thinking they can help the Greeks? Lots.

I listened to the parliamentary debate and for the first time I had to agree with the German Neo-Communists - this hurts...

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:16 | 1722219 RemiG2010
RemiG2010's picture

I haven't watched the debate, but Merkel, the rest of the "economically literate politicians" in Buntestag should know one thing. If Greece and the rest of the PIIGS go down, German new Deutchmark will be so strong, that it will kill economy in just few years and then we're all going back to the first half of last century!

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:31 | 1722252 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I know this might sound outlandish:

1) sovereign defaults don't necessarily change the currency - and most of the times don't

2) Germany is the only country which could "kill" the EUR - they won't, not yet

3) this meme of "devalue the currency, quick, or the economy tanks" is as true as "open the credit spigots, quick, or the economy tanks" - it does not last - it's all temporary.

Wait until all currencies will have to fight the same battle uphill instead of downhill - read about how Soros made a fortune by shorting the British Pound, for example. And try to remember that in those days 10 bn bucks were a gigantic amount of money. Nowadays, it would be idiotic because all currencies are fightiing to go down.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:32 | 1722276 RemiG2010
RemiG2010's picture

1) in case of Euro one does. It is called Italy! And that equals game over for European currency, whether Germans like it or not.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:01 | 1722424 Vergeltung
Vergeltung's picture

"and then we're all going back to the first half of last century!"

 

well, let's get it done right this time.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 15:30 | 1723324 derDeutsche
derDeutsche's picture

jawohl, dieses mal werden wir gewinnen!

 

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:09 | 1722190 Cynical Sidney
Cynical Sidney's picture

yeah real smart. leverage eurotarp keep uping the ante, kick it down the road until it collapases and defaults, have the next generation pay for them. what's the youth unemployment rate in eurozone? what about the US? what's the extent of economic stratification in the US? what you do plan to do with the 'reserve army of labour' created?

2b2f are called that because they are too big to be saved. like i said earlier up is down, down is up :)

call me what you will; but your policies take the world toward default, revolution and war, i'm trying to avert disaster

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:13 | 1722205 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"your policies take the world toward default"

wait a moment, you can't have it both ways - the ECB easing he proposes means heading towards inflation/stagflation, not deflations & defaults

and he has a cool avatar ;-)

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:33 | 1722270 Cynical Sidney
Cynical Sidney's picture

yes you can have it both ways; like bisexuals and mixflation. ecb easing bastardizes the euro, and also means higher unemployment and decreased purchasing power.

"sovereign defaults don't necessarily change the currency - and most of the times don't" u are despicable.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:36 | 1722294 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

Why despicable? It's about history. If a country defaults, it's about the bonds, not the FX. I know it's not part of the "common theme" in the current blogs, still, look it up.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:08 | 1722193 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Did you forget to put /s at the end of your post?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:13 | 1722492 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

It amazes me how so many people take MDB's comments seriously. It is obviously satirical baiting. And well done I must say!

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 16:19 | 1723558 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Germany is lined up to pay everyone else's bills.  When their society crashes we'll see another dictator rise to power.  Then they'll raise a military to enact revenge.  Them's your consequences.  History repeats.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:08 | 1721968 IAmNotMark
IAmNotMark's picture

Sorry Tyler...once I've read the first four words, all I can think about is oral sex.  The rest of the article just didn't fit.

Oh, wait....cunning linguists...  never mind...

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:12 | 1721987 Alex Kintner
Alex Kintner's picture

It was a typo. Should read "Cunning Lickquist".

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:15 | 1721999 gojam
gojam's picture

A Cunning Stunt !

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:14 | 1721969 gojam
gojam's picture

11) Democracy = Ignoring the people and moving greater and greater power away from them

Usage - Thank God there are enough deluded people in the world who think that living in a Democracy gives them a say in how their country is run.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:14 | 1721995 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

Democracy and "The People" is a myth. You can call it a mobocracy, I suggest The Revolt of the Masses by Ortega Y Gassett.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:25 | 1722035 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

democracy:

a series of votes held by the top tenth of one percent, verifying that right to rule and or steal in a controlled and beneficial manner to that same top tenth of one percent

 

see also:fascism,oligarchy,goldman sachs

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:26 | 1722038 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

firewall: gasoline (at 9 bucks a gallon) soaked paper,fiat currency, or bonds

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:40 | 1722073 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Firebomb: Wine bottle filled with gasoline, old sock or fiat paper currency stuffed in neck for fuze.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 16:21 | 1723571 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Firewall: the outside brick edifice of a bank branch or main office.  There, fixed it for ya.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:47 | 1722100 RemiG2010
RemiG2010's picture

"The People" or "The people"? Now, explain us the difference taking under consideration Constitution.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:48 | 1722089 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Democracy: Your choice of either 2 pre-selected elite bankster hand picked dictators.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:41 | 1722330 Nascent_Variable
Nascent_Variable's picture

12) Fiat Currency:  The means by which the central banking cartel does to countries what Silvio Burlusconi does to 16 year old prostitutes behind closed doors.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:12 | 1721981 HedgeAccordingly
HedgeAccordingly's picture

its all lies.. and we know the answer .. it took a while for NFLX to pan out.. the euro crisis will.. 

speaking of nflx.. down 11 percent today.. 'shhhh' 

http://www.hedgeaccording.ly/2011/09/netflix-monthly-chart-update-nflx.html

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:35 | 1722062 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

I bet whitney tilson is so pissed at himself.  I would be.  I'd feel like a weak little girl with little to no conviction.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:02 | 1722171 FMR Bankster
FMR Bankster's picture

If he would have scaled it right he'd still be in the trade.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:41 | 1722085 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Another golden oldie RoboTrader favorite stock to brag about after every close goes up in smoke.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:12 | 1721983 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I like the "Everything is under control" part - soothing...

SUDDEN DEBT, WHERE ARE YOU ???

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:14 | 1721996 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

CDO = criminal demon organization.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:18 | 1722005 nah
nah's picture

EURO-TO-ENGLISH BITCHEZ

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:19 | 1722012 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

First off alll you hot and bothered dislexic ladies, calm down and read slowly...cunning linguists

Next #3,,, He is advising creating a firewall by throwing paper money at it?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:38 | 1722617 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Hah. yep. It sure sounds like he wants them to make a moving firewall, with putty.

ORI

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:20 | 1722016 wang (not verified)
wang's picture

nein=yes

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:23 | 1722027 Kali
Kali's picture

And while everyone is focused on Europe, the house approves another stop gap funding bill that will only last til Nov.18 in US.  Almost two years and this idiot Congress STILL has not come up with a budget.  Will OB's term be the first where no budget was ever passed?

I have a new barometer of the economy - the Rest Stop Index.  Maybe that's where the drop in unemployment came from.  Now instead of one pathetic person at the rest stop claiming no food, gas, $$, there are multiple panhandlers.  And they look like they have moved in there too. 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:13 | 1722204 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

It's called "Hooverville".

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:27 | 1722031 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Funny stuff - poor Europe has been royally fucked by Hayeks very strange denationalisation of money beliefs - civil servents are payed to do nothing now as they can not acheive anthing - its worse then a waste - its a scam. 

The old European civil service was expensive but they acheived much - now we have a cheap civil service and expensive bank advisors and they achieve nothing.

Can we please go back to the stagflation of the 70s - at least it was better fun then this devastating euro blandness.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:32 | 1722045 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Funny stuff. You associate the euro with Hayek's denationalization of money.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:48 | 1722090 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Yes - it was his baby - he was a monetory technocrat - he was not big into the freedom thingy or politics.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:51 | 1722112 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Citation?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:03 | 1722179 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Read the denationalisation of money and get back to me - he wanted to create a system of money divorced or at least partially seperate from the state  - thats the euro baby.

Politics has no function when you have no money power - however that does not mean the power disappears - it flows.

Because both Friedman & Hayek seeked to reduce the State Money supply , private credit filled the vaccum - that is why the Euro area has a higher leverage them the US , the ECB are using Gold as a weapon of debt peonage , in the euro system the Gold price should be at least the M1 - this artifical high value of currency forces goverments to sell assets on the cheap.

The lack of understanding of power dynamics if it really is a lack of understanding among at least some of the Austrian school is childish in the extreme.

 

 

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:29 | 1722231 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

While I most certainly will read the entire book, the preface provides all the refutation I need. (emphasis mine)

It has long been a common belief among economists since the classical thinkers of the 18th century that one of the most important functions of government was to create a monetary mechanism and to issue money. The debates among economists have been on how far governments have performed this function efficiently and on the means of increasing or decreasing the power of government over the supply of money. But the general assumption has been that government had to control monetary policy and that each country had to have its own structure of monetary units. This assumption is now questioned by Professor F. A. Hayek. He goes much more fully into the 'somewhat startling' departure from the classical assumption which he touched on in Choice in Currency, Occasional Paper No. 48, published in February 1976. Even this short expansion of the theme indicates insights into the nature of money and its control for a wide range of readers: they should stimulate the student and suggest precepts for politicians. In effect, Professor Hayek is arguing that money is no different from other commodities and that it would be better supplied by competition between private issuers than by a monopoly of government.

This in no way describes the Euro. To insist that it does is to be disingenuous. Like I said below, denationalized is not equal to internationalized. The Euro is a creature of government, not of the free market.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:43 | 1722338 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Again extreme Austrians have no real concept of power and how it flows - when goverment issuance became junior to "competition" the power shifted.

Anyway how can you have competition in the provision of credit - thats crazy - credit is the  production of private debt - banks do not need deposits to create credit but they create unsustainable deposits when they lend.

When the sov country model was changed by the ECBs & Hayeks competition for money -  for example when Bank of Scotland moved into the Irish marketplace the old Irish sov banks had to produce more credit to "compete".

The entire monetarists school ignores for the most part the role of credit and concentrates on reducing the money supply - when this happened it the 80s wages were cut but banks created credit to maintain demand and profits but with negative real wealth generation.

Anyway theres nothing wrong with central planning when its done right , just as theres nothing wrong with providing a private loan if its the right investment.

Even in weak states such as Spain the best investments have been centrally planned while private credit investments have been a disaster - in states such as Ireland with no net fiscal debt during the good years the malinvestment has been off all known scales.

Meanwhile at least Spain built such things as the Madrid to Barcelona high speed train line which has wiped short haul airline routes out - without intense central planning that would never happen.

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:38 | 1722313 Withdrawn Sanction
Withdrawn Sanction's picture

Hayek was arguing against state involvement in money as unnecessary.  The Euro represents a supra-national currency, or the exact opposite of what he meant.  I gather you misunderstood what you read.  Pity.  More's the pity if you didn't. 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:51 | 1722376 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

The euro notes have no state involvement - supra national or otherwise.

The closest thing they have to a currency is their goverment bonds which they cannot issue.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:03 | 1722428 Catullus
Catullus's picture

You're caught up on whether the EU is a country or not. The EU is an attempt at creating a European government. It has a court, a constitution, a regulatory authority, creates and enforces regulations on trade, agriculture, labor, harmonizing regulations on financial transactions. And there have been calls for EU to issue it's own bonds and create it's own taxes.

If its not listed as a country in wikipedia, its not a country, right?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:31 | 1722584 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

The EU & the Euro are not exactly the same thing.

I am by nature a Gaullist who at least up until a few years ago held a belief in Sovergin European Nations cooperating on the big projects that we alone cannot persue  - I am not in favour of this Brussels micromanagement or a "independent" CB which in reality is even more of a creature of the banks then the FED.

However the vision of De Gaulle died when he was forced from office - now we get Brussels laws best left to nation states telling us what to do when in fact they are really Mercantile German penal colony laws such as this thinly disguised buy only our new BMWs bikes please ....or else.

www.rte.ie/news/2011/0925/motorcyles.html

 

Meanwhile the EU is incapable of dealing with the big issues - its the worst of both worlds really - we do not have the advantage of the USs ability to project power or have our previous poltical independence - I think its time to leave this miserable club of bankers.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 14:20 | 1722858 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

You guys all need your countries and your currencies back. The Euro/EU is doing nothing but screwing you guys over. Welcome to the global banking cartel destroying your currency and then your sovereignty.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 14:51 | 1723093 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Yes its pretty sad really - America is still in the Friedman vice which is nationalist only in the sense of protecting domestic credit empires and Europes Hayek Freaks who want transnational dominion over people.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:45 | 1722095 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

What, doesn't denationalization = internationalization?

Oh, and it this the thread where we mock the Europeans in response to the German EFSF thread?

Divide and conquer, FTW!

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:56 | 1722136 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Internationalization suppose that nations still exist.

Denationlization not so much.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:29 | 1722258 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ok, so let's go deeper. Dork is claiming that Hayek is for currency created by a governmental body that is not a nation-state. I claim that Hayek is stating that currency should be a free-market entity, wholly disconnected from ANY governmental body.

And until I see a citation directly stating otherwise, I stand by my claim. While I haven't read The Denationalisation of Money yet, I've read enough of Hayek to understand his stance of freedom and free markets.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:15 | 1722418 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

I have a citation in my head about how the old sov money system will change and how old style bankers (think foolish Irish bankers) will not be able to cope with the new system - I will get back to you........ 

Yes I found it.

“Opposition to new system from established bankers

This necessity of all banks to develop wholly new practices
will undoubtedly be the cause of strong opposition to the
abolition of the government monopoly. It is unlikely that most
of the older bankers, brought up in the prevailing routine of
banking, will be capable of coping with those problems. I am
certain that many of the present leaders of the profession will
not be able to conceive how it could possibly work and therefore
will describe the whole system as impracticable and impossible.

Especially in countries where competition among banks
has for generations been restricted by cartel arrangements,
usually tolerated and even encouraged by governments, the
older generation of bankers would probably be completely
unable even to imagine how the new system would operate and
therefore be practically unanimous in rejecting it. But this
foreseeable opposition of the established practitioners ought not
to deter us. I am also convinced that if a new generation of
young bankers were given the opportunity they would rapidly
develop techniques to make the new forms of banking not only
safe and profitable but also much more beneficial to the whole
community than the existing one.”

You see I do not believe in this competition for currency - this experiment has been tried before - 19th century banks produced their own paper currencies with predictable results.

Currency is power - without one currency you cannot be one state , without a state you cannot have peaceful politics , without politics you have tyranney - be it hidden like in Europe at present or otherwise.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:24 | 1722032 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

 

 "medicine for $400, plz, alex"

ok, slewie, and the answer is:  zeroHedge contagion

"what is: how zeroHedge spreads globally as a financially-transmitted psychiatric condition?"

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:14 | 1722212 DOT
DOT's picture

Top scientists are working on a cure. It involves gold, oil, fiat currencies, naked women, ......... oh shit........I'm infected

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 20:48 | 1724423 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

You weren't supposed to EAT the gold bars the naked women gave you! :>D

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:24 | 1722033 youngman
youngman's picture

So the Chinese Navy is near the USA...I wonder if that is to pick up their physical gold they bought???????  Hmmmm..Iran too???? Hmmmmmm.....where are Hugos ships?.....or maybe these are.......hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:35 | 1722055 baby_BLYTHE
baby_BLYTHE's picture

At the UN the President of Iran made it clear that the United States has abused the role of World's Reserve currency and is responsible for the inflation exported to the rest of the world. He also mentioned gold and its abscene behind the currency we emit.

 

Who abolished the Breton Woods system and printed trillions of dollars without the backing of gold reserves or equivalent currency? A move that triggered inflation worldwide and was intended to prey on the economic gains of other nations.

http://english.farsnews.com/newstext.php?nn=9006300250

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:53 | 1722125 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

One of the best parts in the US world order and a key to its success: talks like that are reserved to crazy hats like this Iranian guy.

One should remember that in US citizenism, everything is about the group.

So when one person speaks in one way and happen to report a fact, that person does it because she belongs to a specific group, not because it is a fact.

Anyone underlying the fact that the US has been trading bit coins for decades now in exchange of real wealth, growing incredibly richer in the process is now to be associated to that Iranian guy. Enough to disqualify the fact itself in this US world order.

Every little bit has one function in this world order, and the function of these crazy hats is to disqualify factual analysis.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:33 | 1722050 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

You forgot to add "my name is Tim Geithner and I don't give a phuck." other than that I think this one covered all the bases...without having to stop at third even. Now forgive me while I watch all those Republican Senators give our troops the atta-boy even though "they were never in Libya" because you all are too busy blowing up...whatever it is you blow-up.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:35 | 1722056 AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Yet as everyone see's through their bullshit (more importantly their own citizens as evidenced by the protests and growing resentment towards to policy actions) these psychopaths continue to drone on about the same bullshit day-to-day-- and for what? The banks know they own these assholes outright, the people hate them, they have an institutional cluster fuck for an organization, there's too much debt, it's a solvency problem, any recommendation they come with outright is going to add problems in the future exponentially-- insanity is no longer adequate in describing these fucks.

Any suggestions on a new term to describe this level of cluelessness?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:35 | 1722059 gwar5
gwar5's picture

"Of all cunning linguists, Bloomberg's Jon Weil may be the cunningest."  

 

Err... Cunnilinguiest? Ladies man without equal?  We doubt that. Not because he won't, but because he cunt.

 

 

 

 

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:35 | 1722061 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtjbZl6ZwkQ

Keiser Report: The Greek Depression (E190)

Uploaded by on Sep 29, 2011

This week Max Keiser and co-host, Stacy Herbert, ask why wallstreet protesters are maced in the face for merely walking on the sidewalk while JP Morgan's CEO can throw a tirade in the face of regulators and a central banker without being pepper-sprayed. They ask why Vince Cable doesn't pack some pepper spray.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:53 | 1722122 JW n FL
JW n FL's picture

 

 

Peter Schiff: Ruined economy, artificial dependency

Uploaded by RussiaToday on Sep 28, 2011

RT talks to Peter Schiff, president at Euro Pacific Capital about the state of economy in US.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzjnc7lXcC8

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:36 | 1722064 tedives
tedives's picture

Leslie Nielsen's take on the whole thing (since we have Kevin Bacon's already):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSjK2Oqrgic

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:38 | 1722074 fdisk
fdisk's picture

"The Greek Depression" :)))

Right drinking cheap wine under the sun on the beach better than

working 24/7, you can call that depression, I guess.. *L*

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:39 | 1722078 Financial_Guard...
Financial_Guardian_Angel's picture

EURO Bond: The worst investment vehicle ever known to mankind. Please send in your money now!

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:47 | 1722099 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Only sovereigns need apply (because you're gonna need a printing press to keep up).

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:47 | 1722097 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Economic solutions: A series of ever more damaging and stupid actions by people who never worked at an actual job 1 day in their whole lives.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:50 | 1722106 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Personally, I can't wait until they roll out the TORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP.

Question is, how many Rs does it take to get to ZIRP?

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:50 | 1722109 Idiocracy
Idiocracy's picture

Was there no way to work 'transitory' into that?  I mean fer cryin' outs...

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 11:52 | 1722118 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

You forgot SFV.

Special Financial Vehicle

Otherwise known as the hide the debt from everyone black hole.

 

You know the same thing that brought ENRON to light.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:21 | 1722234 Species8472
Species8472's picture

Politidiots!! WOOT!

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:21 | 1722235 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

The finance ministry of each EU peripheral country, in a coordinated press release, outlined how a TORPP could be used as a stability mechanism by providing a firewall against the contagion that would be sparked by a controlled default of Greece should the ECB refuse to recapitalize banks using a covered bond purchase program.

Oh - and Tim Geithner sux.

 

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:33 | 1722285 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

We need a political-ese translation list as well:

 

Investment:  Taxing the shit out of the public to give money to our relatives, friends and special interests in return for all the money they spent to get me elected.

Job Growth:  Taxing the shit out of the public to give to people barely working in positions we created merely to give them something to do.

Crisis:  Something alarming that we fabricate and with the help of our FCC controled propaganda media outlets allowing us to tax the shit out of people.

Grow Govt. Revenues:  Taxing the shit out of the public - once thought to mean growth in the private sector resulting in more taxes.

Compromise:  We stand firm while any other political opposition bends to our position allowing us to tax the shit out of the people.

Forming a Panel (Coalition, Team, etc.):  Just some new bureacracy meant to tax the shit out of the people.

 

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:43 | 1722630 Coldfire
Coldfire's picture

Jon Weil is great, channelling Odgen Nash and Ambrose Bierce in equal measure. Sure the hapless EU apparatchiks should be pilloried, but the underlying implication is that the US apparatchiks have done so much better. Uh, hardly. The state sucks ass internationally at everything it touches (except killing people and stealing, those are core competencies). So I hope JW keeps drilling at the Euroclowns; and in the interests of fairness, at the Americlowns.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 13:47 | 1722648 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

colleagues = people who I will never forget killed my grandparents

eurozone = site of 100,000,000 graves of people slaughtered in wars within living memory

neighbors = people I will drop a dime on in a minute

immigrants = the first ones we round up when the time comes

citizens = expendable sheep-like creatures

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 14:28 | 1722917 Confused
Confused's picture

if you swap out "eurozone" with things like vietnam, iraq, korea, japan, etc., it works for the US too!

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 15:19 | 1723264 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Americanese:

 

AAA rated - a pile of steaming crap worth absolutely nothing that we're pawning on anyone dumb enough to believe our assurances that this paper is 'high yielding and risk free'  

- as if a bunch of mortgages on overappraised houses in methland owned by unemployed or soon to be unemployed Americans have any chance in hell of being paid off - just like US Government paper - which will get paid back ONLY in grossly inflated paper dollars- if at all.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 03:55 | 2000278 kevin22
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