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Presenting The European Deus Ex Machina
We are delighted to present to the world the Deus ex Machina that Europe has been searching for in the past 2 years. Courtesy of Michael Belkin, here is the Uncollateralized BWCGTFBCWT Obligation, Series 17.01, also known as the solution to all of Europe's problems.
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WAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA - excellent, Smithers!
Are you sure we're only on version 17.01?
The implementation strategy section 7 says something about 18.01 so your spot on. Oh no one can eat toasters btw.
The war in the east goes well I hear, Smedley.
Uncollatoralized!?!? What, did they run out of footballers?
OK
I give up.
WTF is "BWCGTFBCWT" ?
Bailing Wire Chewing Gum Toasters Facebook Circular Wire Transfers
That'll be in Acronym Finder & the Urban Dictionary by tomorrow?
Fatally flawed instrument..
Missing the duct tape allocation.
Sounds too good to be true; what's the catch?
OK, I'm in...
Can I buy this in my pension fund as well?
Because We Can't Get The Fucking Banks Collateralized With Towels
Fucking Awesome!
Ha! Hilarious!
TD strikes again
By the way, what's a 'BWCGTFBCWT'?
I wish I could click the green arrow a million times for that!
Why not?
They'll soon have a resale value much higher than these bonds...
Bailing Wire, Chewing Gum, Toasters, FaceBook shares, Circular Wire Transfers
Note that DT (Duct Tape) is not a part of the offering, thereby dooming it to failure
Duct tape is part of the attached warrants. And the Spanish and Italy tranches come with rosary beads.
DEUS EX MACHINA
With most of the world’s major economies as well as the financial system bankrupt, there is only one solution that can save the world economy. Like in the Greek tragedies, Deus ex Machina is now the only way that the world can avoid a total economic collapse. This would involve God being lowered down onto the world stage and miraculously saving the plot
read
http://www.mmnews.de/index.php/english-news/9031-deus-ex-machina
"Proceeds of offering to be invested in........Circular wire transfers."
LOL
Also known as a circle jerk.
Yeah, but in a real circle jerk, at least everyone gets off. (note, multiple meanings)
but would there be equally fervent and attentive paricipation by all the EU participants so that everyone would be satisfied with the outcome?
Waaaaaait.
Whose that hand I feel on my thingamlajiggie?
Thingamajigs are the EXACT thing that are missing from this plan...
Gotta save a trump card or two, ya know.
I printed out a copy to give to our treasurer, as we're going to want in on this action.
who gets the cracker?
at 100% interest... rinse refleece
There's one market they forgot. Short Spiderman towels.
Is there a longer acronym in finance?
Better still, what's the joke in this one?
8) To buy thingamajigs, every European depositor receives $3,000 from EUR/USD currency swap with the Bernank , once again.
Thanks God, I knew we'd see a viable plan to save Europe sometime this week. Its amazing that this first plan is likely to be the best of the several plans that are likely to follow :) I'm in, clearly a well thought out piece of work that can lead to nothing but success in terms of solving the European problems. This might even benefit Facebook in that there will be people actually holding the shares instead of shorting them.
Damn good plan.
Million Dollar Bonus?
I'm all-in bailing wire and chewing gum.
it's not gonna work without the duct tape.
The average Joe only needs two items in his tool box...
~~~
- If it's stuck... Use WD-40
- If it's loose... DUCT TAPE it
Duct tape is so 20th century. Now Gorilla tape that's where it's at.
They forgot the beach towels...
all you need to worry about is the part about eating your peas...
Wow why didn't I think of that?...lol
Does it have a "Bendover" clause?
OMGWTFBWCGTFBCWTLOL
Funny, this isn't a real deal.
But it really is a tombstone
(advertising a perpetual bullet no less).
WB7: A new gallows-humor cartoon art form! Fictional deal tombstones that are both preposterous and exactly/obviously tailored to rescue the target personage/entity from whatever hopeless folly or disastrous predicament he/she/it has managed to get into.
FB shares for every European man, woman, and child!
Two weeks later...
Fernando- Awww mannnnn, not another granola bar. Hey Gilberto, I'll trade you this awesome granola bar and 750 shares of fb for your pudding cup.
Gilberto- No dice.
speechless.
Solution to Eurozone's debt problem is rather easy, if there's a political willy.
Issue one note to the value of entire Eurozone's bank and sovereign debt and some more.
Offer it to the Fed as a collateral in exchange for printed dollars. Fed hypothecates it to Japan for their printed Yen.
Japan rehypothecates it to China for their printed Yuan.
Those Yuans are traded in London financial markets, and on Wall Street.
Bonus's and bitches all around again. But I guess that would be too transparent and sheeple will catch on to the scam.
"...to be invested in"
I saw no Thingamajigs...it won't work.
I tried to Google BWCGTFBCWT and it did'nt come up with anything. Surely this cant work.
There is a no reach-around clause, and they're going in dry.
I'll take Goldman's side of the trade on this one.
forgot to add solar companies to the investment list
Throw in an additional beach towel and 2 pairs of speedos and I wire money today.
http://vegasxau.blogspot.com
Specifically, a Spiderman towel please.
Make it 2 trillion just to be safe and I'm all in.
xitsam
In 2002 the largest note in Zimbabwe was a $100. By 2008 there were notes in the trillions. I think euro 2 trillion is simply not enough (I know you spent a lot of time coming up with that number). If one uses the math language of infinity one could come closer to the correct sum.
I expect to be using trillion dollar US paper in the outhouse by 2014. ...but I too could be wrong...who really knows... it all depends on the price of zeros ...doesn't it.
Oh, sorry... I just clicked on this thread because I thought it was a hot new sportscar that I could tool around the Hamptons with this summer...
8) Postpone Basell III until January 1, 2013. One last taxpayer looting phase must commence prior to kicking the can off the cliff.
Very elegant, but without the inclusion and use of Duct Tape, the outcome is certainly questionable!
Famous second to last words "watch this!". Followed by famous last words "OH SHIT!!".
Famous comment to doctor in ER: Seemed like agood idea at the time.
Doctor to staff: No pain meds, he's already too fucked up
Free money for Euro thingamajigs! Whooppeeee!
We can joke with, laugh at and ridicule inept and corrupted politicians, greedy bankers and clueless economists, but when a flock of black swans makes an entrance with a choir of fat ladies, the laughing will be over as will our comments on Zero Hedge. It will then be another world as everybody and every group vies for either survival or supremacy. We decry the fools for not having a real plan, but what plan do we have anyway?
My plan is to fly away to Neverland, fight pirates, screw Tinkerbell, and eat crocodile until I grow old.
Hi! I'm Crocodile :)
I junked you, not because I disagree with you, but because you are a buzzstomp.
What exactly is a buzzstomp?
Like a buzzkill, only not as dramatic.
The plan should be: Keep up your professional and social skills, work diligently at your job or business, treat others fairly and honestly, and save some tangible wealth (cash, precious metals, even food). Above all, stay adaptable, and learn any new rules to the game, and play by those rules. Grousing about the new stupid rules won't get one anywhere.
The good news: Jesus is coming back.
The bad news: He is really pissed (something to do with temples and monylenders)!
I'm gettin' outa Dodge.......
Didn’t Jim Sinclair two years ago say something about a new currency form to replace the form of US$ as we know it, third week of June 2012? He also said not to laugh about this. What happened to that? Can we laugh now? I don't think it's funny anyway.
I heard it was a 1 BILLION dollar wire transfer to Spain. Leave it to the ECB to mispronounce the word. Or was it a spelling error?
laugh all you want but infinity bonds priced at zirp +zero is the only mathematical way out of this.
They forgot to include an asterix beside Circular Wire Transfers .....
*Bank Commission Charges apply per wire transfer.... either way the money all goes to them.
The European Deus Ex Machina launch party celebration will take place on the forward deck of the Costa Concordia. Please join the salvage team as they conduct the largest refloat in history (or not).
I heard TIDE was the new currency...it's hell on bubble gum anyway!
Ha ha ha, really great post.
Time to brush up on your numchuck skillz
BOOKS GOING WELL - deal may grow - please reconfirm at revised guidance
Moving next to an Amish community - 35 acres, 2 story house, 3 beautiful barns, creek all for $75K. Of course the house does not have electricity or plumbing but it is beautifully built....
100 FB Shares!? LOL
No joint book runners on this issuance? GS will really separate from the pack in the league tables.. Then Blankfein and the Pope will have to vie for who is God's right hand man.