Presenting The Mother Of All European Bailout Flowcharts

Tyler Durden's picture

Earlier we presented the flowchart of the first part of the Eurozone endgame. While satisfactory, many immediately clamored: "what is part two?" Prompted by this surge in intellectual curiosity, John Lohman has risen to meet the challenge of what the Eurozone's Biggest, Baddest, Sexiest Motherf#%$^* Flow Chart looks like. It needs no commentary, and since it also really ties the ponzi room together, we hope nobody micturates upon it until the plane crashes into the mountain. That said, we do have an accounting question: is "ass rape" a credit or a debit?

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mesje's picture

Personally.. I like Uranus bit at the bottom ;>

johnQpublic's picture

unicorns for me, but no skittles?

mjb99na's picture

Dollars and Euros flow into Goldman, never to be seen again.... perfect analysis

strannick's picture

It's....beautiful. William Banzai himself must be nodding approvingly


floyd084's picture

Exactly, Goldman is like a blackhole for fiat.

Fukushima Sam's picture

Oh shit!  (rummaging around, looking for the lube)

Manthong's picture

Just need a little more room at the bottom of the chart to show all the €’s and $’s falling out the bottom of  Uranus.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

I am just awestruck.  Nice job.

tekhneek's picture

he forgot double and triple rainbows...

TruthInSunshine's picture

Yes, while very good, this chart somehow failed to capture the role of unicorns, skittles and pixie dust, with those three ingredients and catalysts being indispensable to the New World Economic (Dis)Order.

And, oh, Ben 'Inflation Is Too Low For Your Economic Health' Bernank, Abby Joseph '24/7/365 Conviction Buy' Cohen, tulip bulbs, Barton 'I Sharted My Depends' Biggs, Leprechaun farts, SEC Midget Porn, and the soon to be released edible iPhone5 would be nice to see as synergistic forces in this chart, too.

Bruce Flea's picture

He forgot the Bernie Madoff connection too...

TheLooza's picture

I'm pretty sure that the Seattle Seven play some role in all of this.

vast-dom's picture

certainly do-able (like a toothless crack-hoe who don't know which way is up or down after bouncing along the street on her busted grill).


//¿sarc off¿/

GenX Investor's picture

This is FUCKING FANTASTIC, and so is getting baked on HOPIUM.

Shvanztanz's picture

so, if that's us .... and we're watching us...watching ourselves, then when will then be now?

Jalaluddin's picture

Missing box: Thin Air

Missing arrows: from Thin Air to Fed; from Public to Thin Air.

Arrow labels: $ in both cases.

lookma's picture

LOL silliness - you forgot the most important part, the thing the WHOLE f'ing EURO currency is built on - GOLD.

Digital_Bucaneer's picture

I sense you have no knowledge whatsoever on the actual "backing" of the "euro".
If by any chance you happened to understand spanish, here in this PDF:
You'll be able to see how politicians changed the compulsory 25% minimum gold backing, for an optional 25% backing, with the phrase "it doesn't have to", thus clearing the way to an inevitable burst of debts backing more debts and practically leaving gold forgotten.

SheepDog-One's picture

Steve Liesman centerpiece of Euro 'Suicide Pact Bailout' success....LMAO

I think I need to buy a gun's picture

the chart is priceless......lmao

Deadpool's picture

need to stick the tilted Enron "E" in the middle.

Sequitur's picture

Lawlz Liesman on top with the "misinformation" arrow.

Caviar Emptor's picture

Long Greek yogurt...Short bratwurst...pair trade

Lord Welligton's picture

It's all perfectly clear now.

Id fight Gandhi's picture

Fuckin A' chart porn

metastar's picture

I need a GPS to navigate this mess.

Gold Man-Sacks's picture

I'd say a few things are missing.  Namely, JP Morgan ass raping silver.  And, Al Gore ass raping the public with carbon taxes (with help from Max Keiser).  There.  Done.

Gold Man-Sacks's picture

I'd say a few things are missing.  Namely, JP Morgan ass raping silver.  And, Al Gore ass raping the public with carbon taxes (with help from Max Keiser).  There.  Done.

CompassionateFascist's picture

Yeah Keiser is a twitchy 'lil Heeb....but the show is worth watching for Stacy. Last installment the camera suddenly switched from him to her while Max was still ranting...& she's like, "what is this idiot babbling about!?!?"

Cheesy Bastard's picture

Funny, but lets simplify:

Your money--------------------->Toilet

Floordawg's picture

"micturates" HA! that's some fancy pissin'!

slewie the pi-rat's picture

slewie pissed on that last BBC propaganda, big-time!

this is better

continue drinking, tyler!

IMA5U's picture

this chart made my day


i was at a stupid hispter bar in chinatown the other day that charges $18 for drinx.  a european advertising type asked if i still worked for the devil and told me america is destroying the world and education and healtchare should be free.  i told him it worked really well in europe.  look at greece and spain.

Piranhanoia's picture

Be glad you weren't in, and I apologize for just saying the name like this without and emergency collapse or another good reason; Belgium.  They are serving "Eurini's". Gin, Vermouth, and yes, you guessed it.  Olives.

Shinjuku's picture

lawl - Honestly I missed M. Yass under Enron

Vincent Vega's picture

First thing I noticed was the direct link from Ur-anus to Goldman. Got KY?

Byte Me's picture

Can't see Greece in there anymore, it's mutated (metastasized) far enough from the original problem for them to now sneak off stage left and leave everyone else holding the crap. Double leveraged, of course.

Peter K's picture

The reason that you don't see the Germans in the chart is because cash doesn't really enter the picture anywhere. The essential part of this chart are the "words". If you can get the wording right, and the arrows to point in the proper direction, you can solve the entire Euroland solvency/liquidity/confidence/communication problem:)

Peter K's picture

I take it this chart is still work in progress?

digalert's picture


Substantial periphery elements omitted for clarity.

RemiG2010's picture

One element is missing in the diagram, that is the big' deal with M. Yass from Lebanon's "Central" Bank.

Byte Me's picture

In answer to Tyler's question ": is "ass rape" a credit or a debit?"

It has to be a credit since it's a Liquidity Injection.


BrocilyBeef's picture

mental image... ohh usd!

Byte Me's picture

I guess the jizzum is green in this case too..

cowdiddly's picture

Right, assrape is a Credit, as in thoroughly Overapplied Direct Labor causing the "bottom line" to shrink up substaintially.