"The Punch Line" - All The Ad Hoc Data That's Fit To Print... And Then Some

Tyler Durden's picture

Abe Gulkowitz has released the latest edition of his always delightful and informative newsletter (for lack of a better word) "The Punch Line": the best aggregation of ad hoc charts, factoids, and data points available anywhere. While by now even Deutsche Bank realizes that the US economy has entered a recession, here is the blow by blow of how we got there, where we may be headed next and 1001 other facts about the US economy and the world that you probably did not know...

To summarize:

Endless political bickering regarding the fiscal nightmare in the U.S. have combined with weakening economic signals and the lack of any easy solutions in the EU morass to trigger an unprecedented credit rating challenge to the U.S. and a market plunge that quickly spread around the globe. Two years into a so?called recovery and the contours of expansion remain far from obvious. Punishing losses in financial markets, culminating in widespread setbacks in risky assets, suggest that investor sentiment has soured ?? and decisively. The massive realignment in perspective is the worst since the Great Recession. The stock markets aren't alone in this reassessment. The Federal Reserve has joined them.What can be done about will be the pressing issue for some time. It underscores our worst fears that massive liquidity and stimulus did much to save the financial system at the time but little to generate sustainable job creation in any significant way; but created enormous distortions in its wake. And all the fiscal pressures can lead to only one result. Policymakers are hemmed in. Many are beginning to realize that we may be at only the first step in a long term spending pullback that may hit many industries including health care, defense, technology, and education sectors. Despite all the noise about the rating action by S&P, significant weight should be given to the series of large negative surprises in the economic data stream. While such data can turn around just as easily, there is now sufficient suspicion that job data will continue to disappoint , requiring a further downward adjustment to business outlooks. Whatever the policy response – the latest shock to household and investor confidence and the likelihood of a slower and more risky growth trajectory seem likely to prove more lasting.

Full presentation:


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thatthingcanfly's picture

Is anyone else annoyed by the Goldline advertisements with that idiot Glen Beck's face plastered all over ZH lately?

reefermadness's picture

There's a Glen Beck contingent here at ZH. LOL!

Spitzer's picture

The worst part is, those fuckers rip people off. Glenn just doesn't know it.

snowball777's picture

He may not (he's not that bright, even for a sold-out shill), but his accountant probably does.

gwar5's picture

funny thing is that Beck has been more correct on calling the economy from 2 years ago than the "experts" and the Fed. go figure.

Manthong's picture

If you either accept or just look beyond the preachy stuff, you will find that he has done more to educate people about economics and history than most any economist since Friedman, and made a ton of money doing it.

Libertarians for Prosperity's picture

Glenn Beck is full of shit.  Tell me again how QE2 is the fault of American labor unions?

Anyone who can't see through the roiling miasma of right-wing swamp gas spewing from Beck's mouth is an absolute moron.  He's the worst of the worst in terms of political propaganda whores.

It's funny to watch all the idiotic, libertarian goons praise him, while just a few years ago Beck equated Ron Paul supporters with domestic terrorists.  Of course, Beck was at CNN then, and was paid to offer a different message than the fear mongering garbage he was paid to puke up at Faux.


Manthong's picture

Well, nobody is perfect..

And you shouldn't compare Obama to Hitler..

Hitler was able to bring the Olympics to his country.

TreadwCare's picture


I'm going to start using that every time I hear the Obama is Hitler reference.  I'll credit you.  Brilliant. 

BlackholeDivestment's picture

...that is fuuuuuny. ha haa haa haaaa. Tis a sick world. lol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlVWArmysic

BlackholeDivestment's picture

P.S. Obama is not Hitler, no no no, glock unt shhhhh ...peel the banana.

...he is           ...he is     ...he is



                      ...THE HOST OF DEE Devil... aaah haa haa haa. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgUFrU6Rh_E&playnext=1&list=PL897669D4E754EDC6

Blotsky's picture

But Beck is just as owned as the politicians.


In the end the TPTB are throwing this information in the face of the sheeple and are laughing their *sses off because they know very few will believe and even fewer will prepare.


Oh well.

BlackholeDivestment's picture


...eh, Becky is a bit twisted on the whole Mormon underware bullshit and he's a complete moron when it comes to many things like 911. The dipshit is like Ron Paul and most idiots that claim 911 etc...is not an inside job, At this point you cannot get away with being clueless or a tricky evil bastard. The fallen will offer a 1000 truths to get one lie through. Every dumbshit in the world can look at a pyramid on the dollar and try to deny the masonic mark upon it but, that is delusional.

...madness, I am in agreement with everyone that knows the prophetic last generation is now at hand. Make no mistake, Christ is confirming, have no doubt. You are going to witness the fulfillment of the whole story in the coming years. Watch! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrzGpVOPcTI 

Gringo Viejo's picture

I don't wish to be rude, but as you've attacked the man's religion, I feel obligated to point out, that you might learn to spell underwear before calling others "moron".

Spitzer's picture

anyone who watches a movie called spare change, made by a couple anarchists on LSD, that says that the pentagon shot a missile at itself, needs their head examined.

Hugh G Rection's picture

Koooooool Aiiiiiiiiiiid


Good use of rule #5


Don't debate facts or physics, just make fun of people. Lots easier!


Explain how an airplane fit in that hole. How thermite was found in the rubble. How BBC reported #7 fell, 25 mins early. How a building not hit by a plane falls freefall.  Ahhh screw it, drink away.

i-dog's picture


But don't waste your time on him ... you can't fix stupid.

Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Of course, there is no shortage of people who witnessed the jet fly into the Pentagon.  I live in DC and personally know one such eyewitness

Pay Day Today's picture

There should be thousands of eye witnesses, that plane had to level fly right next to the ground for hundreds of yards before impact! Not something you can do after a few hours training in a light plane.

centurain's picture



As an Army bomb tech I will just inform you that the main component in thermite is iron oxide aka RUST.  That is where all you 911 truthers need to stop with all your whiny conspiracy theory BS.  Not to mention that over 30,000 people on I95/I395/I495 aka the Beltway around D.C. saw the plane fly into the Pentagon.  Just stop trying to convince rational people that the government who cannot keep any secrets for more than 1 day without Chuck Schumer secretly informing the NYT could have a cover up of this magnitude all the while thousands of Americans actually saw the planes doing the damage.  By the way steel doesn't have to melt in order to lose structural integrity Rosie O'Donnell, it only has to reach 700 degrees before it loses strength.

the tower's picture

30.000 saw it... and in the age of camera phones NO-ONE shot even 1 photo?


the pentagon... 1000's of cameras everywhere, and not one taped the plane?

maximin thrax's picture

They were all on the phone.

How much time do you think a low-flying aircraft emerging from ground clutter at several hundered miles an hour affords an observer to get a camera out and start filming? Five seconds, maybe?

Hugh G Rection's picture

O you're a bomb tech.  Well then thanks for completely solving all the "coincidences" for me!  Now I can go back to my old neocon paradigm, after that "catastrophic and catalyzing event". Right Uncle Wolfowitz?


USA, USA, USA!  Bomb dem durty Arabs!


Building 7 committed suicide cause it was sad 1 and 2 fell down.  Dancing Israelis? They were just there to "document" the event.. thats why the feds sent em back to Israel. They aint no Mossad, thats silliness. Israel be our friends, its dem durty mooslems thats hates our freedums!  


Operation Troll ZH compromised.

BlackholeDivestment's picture

911, lol, Pentagon, lol. Spitzer lol, You are funny. That's ground breaking comedy, lol, ''Home Run''!

Hey Spitzer, when you get done with the remote control, is it before or after shoveling shit on 911 1941?

...I was at the Pentagon, after I decided to answer the phone call on my day off. Anyone call you, to wake you up that day ...boy? Strange, I told the person, who called, this was going to happen. At the time, I lived by the Pentagon. The person that called worked there. I wonder, who would be the most ''ironic'' person you could get a call from like that? I doubt you would even imagine, muchless believe. lol. That person you can't image did call. lol. Grow up Spitz. Aaah movie? ...come on Jacob, all you see is ''underwear'' still? There's more to the picture than lucky tail 77, boy. lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbCsvb3LnsE

You and  the Wuff Wuff ...aah Nitwitz must be fun at the Citi Bank Parties when Deutch is passing out secrets. Yall lost your security clearances why?

spdrdr's picture

Um, Black Hole, I'm afraid that those nice young men with the long white coats and butterfly nets are assembling at your front door as we speak.

Do NOT answer the chime.


Happy re-programming...... 


BlackholeDivestment's picture

...you have a good eye. lol.

...but last time (FBI woman) one was really smart (cuz she agreed, lol) and attractive. It's not every day that that happens.

the tower's picture

show me the footage of the plane crashing into the pentagon, show me

BlackholeDivestment's picture


...I hear yuh Gringo, the mirror image of the accuser is a moron. I would be the devil of course, in the eye of a Mormon, Jew, Muslim, Hindu etc... atheists, Chairsatan and even the so called Patriot flag waving ...Bitchez of the nations. lol.

Spelling, lol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRnmgCs-AxA&feature=channel_video_title


Deepskyy's picture

Damn that thermite an all the other Truther bullshit.

Physics is a bitch aint it.



Hugh G Rection's picture

I used to listen to that fat mormon fuck religiously.  Thanks Glenn for demonizing the 9-11 truth movement, otherwise I might not have found out what a sellout piece of shit you are!


What happened to the Alex Jones doc that was supposed to come out, The Glenn Beck Deception???


Beckadict Arnold, gatekeeper, globalist puppet, douchebag.

Yes_Questions's picture

Its like a constant reminder to watch A Christmas Story.

alien-IQ's picture

Firefox + Ad Blocker Plus = No more ads anywhere.

works beautifully.

Whatta's picture

lol...you scooped me.

fredquimby's picture

oops, me too. Sorry! :)

ThatGuyEhler's picture

Sure, but if we all used an ad blocker then Tyler couldn't keep stacking silver coins... :(

citta vritti's picture

pay with your eyes and attention, or donate

bookwurm's picture

Dont forget No script and Ghostery...

lsbumblebee's picture

Glen Beck? I thought that was the bukkake lady.

Whatta's picture

Two words...well, more than two words...


...Firefox and the Adblock Plus add-on (and get Better Privacy also).

Presto. What ads?

ThatGuyEhler's picture

What ads? The ads that pay bandwidth bills, that's what.

cartonero's picture

I'm not sure about this, but I believe advertisers pay by the page view whether their ads are visible to you or not. 

windcatcher's picture

Yeah, every time I see a Goldline advertisement it reminds me how successful criminals have become. Has anyone heard how the criminal charges against Goldline for their gold Swiss franc “Helena’s” scam turned out? Goldline made millions on that “spread” (40% on selling and 40% on buying with a 10% transaction fee) scam. Crime does pay! Goldline targets old people who “Trust Beck and Joe Battaglia host American Advisor radio program”. In short, they are confidence men who have swindled thousand of people out of their money. Zero Hedge should ban Goldline from advertising on their site.

That scam is easy to break, ask your local coin dealer what he will buy and sell gold Swiss Franc for and he will tell you spot price plus a small transaction fee.

yabyum's picture

Wait, wait? Glen beck buys his gold there right.....right. Criminal bastards.

Oracle of Kypseli's picture

@ thatthingcanfly

Are you annoyed with the fear mongering ways to sell you insurance?

Are you annoyed with the loud car sales on TV? 

We should not stop anyone from making a living.


FIAT_FixItAgainTony's picture

no, not at all because i see no ads.  how is this possible?  well, i'll tell you...

1 d/l firefox.

2 install firefox.

3 d/l the add-on Ad Blocker Plus (ABP).

4 activate ABP.

5 surf without ads.

BTW, i see no ads on youtube videos either.

tom a taxpayer's picture

How about this ad hoc data:

Spontaneous ejaculations on Wall Street.

A Chinese laundry favored by Wall Street insiders says Wall Street executives dropped off more than 2,800 custom-tailored suit pants for dry cleaning after the Fed's free-money-til-mid-2013 announcement and resulting 430 point DOW spurt on Tuesday August 9.  According to Mhee Noh Seee, manager of the laundry,  the spike in dry cleaning volume was not the only thing unusual in the afternoon spurt in business. Normally, executive laundry is dropped off by mail room clerks, secretaries, or executive suite maids. But Tuesday after the 4pm close of stock market, most Wall Street executives brought their own soiled pants to the laundry in expensive leather cases or client-presentation portfolios, indicating they did not want underlings and the public to know about the Fed-induced ecstasy of free money til 2013.

Mhee Noh Seee inspected the soiled pants to see what his good fortune is owed to. As an expert witness in such cases as the Clinton/Lewinsky stained blue dress affair, Mhee instantly recognized the BSD bull semen spewed on Wall Street's finest suit pants: $6,000 Brioni,  $5,800 Kiton,  $4,200 Canali, $3,800 Bottega Veneta, $3,595 Giorgio Armani, etc..  

Mhee Noh Seee asked that we not report on the spontaneous ejaculations on Wall Street. We agreed until we learned that a roughly equal number of Wall Street executives (3,000) decided to preserve their semem-stained pants as a souvenir, a fond memory, like a first boyhood ejaculation. Several executives have already mounted their semen-stained pants on the office walls next to photos of their trophy wives or trophy mistresses. With so much joy on Wall Street, over 5,000 spontaneous ejaculations triggered by the Fed, we can't keep the Fed's free money good news in our pants.