• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Quote Of The Day

Tyler Durden's picture


The following sentence captures, better than anything, the sheer sociopathology, and the epic unprecedented delusions of a failing central planning bureaucrat:

  • Angela Merkel is not happy that financial markets have not made any contribution to resolving the financial crisis -RTRS

Yes, this is precisely the same as the dealer complaining that the junkie not only demands more, but refuses to get clean. Here's a hint: "financial markets", crowded out entirely by central planners such as you, now rely exclusively on you, dear Angie, to "solve" the financial crisis. And will do so more and more, the higher this particular chart goes (danke Bundesbank).

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Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:58 | 2355419 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

Blame anybody but the person in the mirror.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:59 | 2355435 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

Yes, Angela Merkel, the "conservative". 

Nixon was right. They're all central planners now.

But we go on trying — though explaining capitalism to Angela Merkel is a thankless task.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:08 | 2355468 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

All leaders are idiots.  She's basically admitting that central planners have failed and their policies are not working.  If they were working, there would be no need to blame.  Since they're not working, back to the well they'll go to invent more funny tokens.


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:12 | 2355496 Popo
Popo's picture

Dear Angela,


When you peddle shit, financial markets will price it as such.

Thank you,

Planet Earth



Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:16 | 2355520 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

What is price discovery?

Is that where the market discovers the prices that our glorious bureaucratic overlords are setting?

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:23 | 2355540 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

They're public servants and we are the masters.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:25 | 2355546 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

2012; Year of the Sociopath

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:40 | 2355588 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

It should say this instead:

The citizens of democratic societies are not happy that political leaders like Angela Merkel have not made any contribution to resolving the impending social crisis -RTRS

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:45 | 2355615 UP Forester
UP Forester's picture


Just look in the mirror and say:

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggone it, people like me."

That'll help get you a Senate seat, at least....

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 15:11 | 2355694 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture



With this logic, she might have inbred-merkeloidism or a Being There form of an idiot savant.  I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 18:11 | 2356347 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Political leaders are not idiots.

However, nowhere in their software is the programming to think through financial crises, especially government-crowding out of individuals and the private sector.  

Which is like going to war and wondering where all the blood is coming from.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:18 | 2355525 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

Yess mistress Angela the markets ARE working to correct the problem, that's why the spreads on the bonds are growing faster than your butt cheeks.

But as I always like to say in the face of people who disagree with the obvious "opinions differ".

How about this mistress.  Your butt IS fat, your PIIGs fatter and I think I'm starting to smell bacon on the griddle? Would you like yours chewy, or crispy?

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 16:47 | 2356021 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

RIght now, the markets do not work to correct anything, they exist only as a wealth-transfer mechanism.

All modern business models have converged on sucking from the taxpayers' tits.  Period.  The MIC business model has been adopted by all other businesses.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:05 | 2355458 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

Exactly, like blaming the mirror because you're ugly!!

These Technocrats are reptilian serpants. The market is EXACTLY where they want it to be. Not any higher nor any lower.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:11 | 2355491 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Why? For what purpose is this 'market level' somehow 'correct'?

So they can keep on moving the same pawn back and forth in the same square turn after turn? Makes no sense!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:21 | 2355536 crazyjsmith
crazyjsmith's picture

Exactly, makes no sense...to us. It does allow them to keep this game going. By no means is this market "correct". That would imply that these measures they are taking are "correct". And we all know better.

As I said, the market is where they want it to be. It has become a slave to the Central Bankers, no more free than a rat in a cage.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:42 | 2355605 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

You, of all people, should know that down days for sheering the sheeple. Up days are for luring them back in for more.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:05 | 2355459 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:40 | 2355597 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Totally agree with you. However when I worked in a hospital on graveyards I was amazed how many dealers got a point blank shot gun blast to the chest from their junkie pals who had run out of money but still wanted their dope. Not a forgiving, let's talk reason kinda group.


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 15:04 | 2355670 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

the sheeple certainly aren't as motivated as the junkies, that's for sure. if they were, there'd have been a reset in 2009 latest. i suspect the bankers are the closest analogy to both dealer/junky and pimp/whore for a MPD BPD co-morbid sociopathic profile. 

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 17:30 | 2356204 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

This town needs an enema!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYaki2ZvhSE (0:05)

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:06 | 2355469 battle axe
battle axe's picture

BWAHAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAA, oh Angie you kill me you joker you!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:56 | 2355423 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Tyler, you have achieved a "ZH classic" today with your words to Merkel.   Can somebody translate it in German and send it to the Bundestag?

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:10 | 2355493 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

I'll translate it to German:

"Merkel, you idiot."


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:37 | 2355593 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

Frau Ferkel, Sie dumme Sau!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 15:40 | 2355770 Greyhat
Greyhat's picture

I think Tyler tought of something like "Wir sollten die Mauer wieder hochziehen und Merkel dann drüber werfen."

(We should rebuild the wall and then throw Merkel over it)

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 16:00 | 2355868 littleguy
littleguy's picture

Translation not required. Can speak German.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 18:05 | 2356330 Drachma
Drachma's picture

Thanks for the translation. Can't speak German.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 19:35 | 2356613 prains
prains's picture

just start with UNT ! and work from there

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 16:03 | 2355877 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

Ive been waiting for some time to see somebody on ZH make a Ferkel joke. Cant believe it took this long.

+1 interweb point for you!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 16:30 | 2355966 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

Have you heard of Zar Kotzy lately?

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:58 | 2355424 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

I have yet to see any one of you claim that a good fucking would fix Merkel.

Come on guys, you are dropping the ball.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:02 | 2355450 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

Sorry, I'm not "up" to the task.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:06 | 2355471 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


You could put a flag over her head and fuck her for old glory.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:22 | 2355541 TonyCoitus
TonyCoitus's picture

I'll need a double Viagra martini first, but OK, I'll take one for the team and do it!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:39 | 2355594 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


Drive deep into the Rhine, deep man deep!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:12 | 2355494 RallyRoundTheFamily
RallyRoundTheFamily's picture

I will make her my bottom bitch for a night.  For a small fee of course.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:09 | 2355477 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

A skull fucking with a rusty bayonet, maybe.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:19 | 2355529 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Yeah I'm not climbing that mountain either.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:29 | 2355568 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Berlusconi nailed it when he called her "unf**k-able".

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 15:16 | 2355708 wandstrasse
wandstrasse's picture

you mean 'unbungable'

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 15:22 | 2355719 12ToothAssassin
12ToothAssassin's picture

I need me some more Berlusconi in the headlines, those were good times.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:58 | 2355426 BC6
BC6's picture

Zee Germans bitchez!

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:59 | 2355430 alexwest
alexwest's picture

dont know german..
but seems like its bundesbank's amount of money loaned by ECB..

am i right?


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:59 | 2355431 Dick Darlington
Dick Darlington's picture

And this muppet refuses to face the truth. Time and again...

04-18 13:48: OECD's Gurria says expects Euro-zone recession wil not be...


Hockey sticks and wot not...

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 13:58 | 2355436 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Angela Merkel...  That's rich.  Almost don't even need to comment...

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:00 | 2355438 irie1029
irie1029's picture


Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:00 | 2355439 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

The level of incompetence among world leaders is staggering. Between all of them is there a functioning brain cell?

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:05 | 2355461 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

They really are a bunch of megalomaniac azz hatters.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 14:39 | 2355595 Bartanist
Bartanist's picture


You have to realize that it is not incompetence AT ALL!!. It is brilliance made to look like incompetence so that their "global takeover" and "kill strategies" will look like mistakes, or something outside their control.

They want chaos and destruction. They want polarization and infighting so that people will kill each other and they will appear to have clean hands. Look at how they have created an "inside" and an "outside" class. Look at how they have made it seem as if it is the people against THEIR government and the police and military against the people (who are their own relatives).

The only way to win is to not play the game and stop giving them the power ... but unfortunately people are young, gullible, corruptable, whatever and continually fall into the trap so that they can receive perceived privilege (at the cost of their sole ... most likely)... if only they give up their free will and rationalize to themselves that there is no ultimate good or evil.

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