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The Real Bailoutelli

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Yesterday Italy had two Super Marios: Balotelli, much more properly called Bailoutelli, who is lauded as a hero after scoring the decisive goal against Germany in the Euro2012 football championship (at least until the final against Spain on Sunday), while the second claimed an even more decisive victory over European paymaster Angela Merkel (at least for a few hours, and certainly at least until the realization that details do matter - such as who actually pays?) So when the haze of hangover clears, things may be very different (and they certainly will be: Mario Monti himself said moments agi that Italy may one day ask for financial aid... but not yet). But for now, the delighted locals are having a field day with some creative Photoshopping, and offering a two for one. Presenting - the real Bailoutelli.

h/t @InsideGame

 

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Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:28 | 2572973 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

nice mohawk

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:40 | 2573018 bdc63
bdc63's picture

It's a good look for him ...

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:43 | 2573028 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Gold goes down - Gold goes up - Gold goes down - Gold goes up ----- Weeeeee it's like a roller coaster at six flags.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:04 | 2573094 CPL
CPL's picture

Depends when you bought.  I bought silver at 7 and gold under 700. 

 

I didn't notice anything except my savings are protected from retards printing money from nothing.

 

The point to investing is to save it for a rainy day.  50 years ago that meant dumping your monthly savings into equities.  now the equities are worth less than the market was in adjusted inflationary terms than 1972.

 

Judging by your name, don't trade the trade, save the stack

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:45 | 2573217 Stackers
Stackers's picture

CPL: you do see my name right ?

I was just making fun of the ridiculous volatility these days. down 2%. up 2%.

Market price action is complete nonsense now. I cant even figure out what is "risk on" news and what is "risk off" news anymore.

Europeans have basically agreed to print lots of money .... and the Euro goes up ?

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:51 | 2573446 flacon
flacon's picture

Whether it's risk on or risk off it seems that it's always time to beat up the mining shares. 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 14:02 | 2573948 CPL
CPL's picture

Here's why watching the whipsaw is pointless, it's all in fiat.  We live in a physical universe defined by laws, while faith may overflow, it does not make a cup fuller by wishing it.

Everybody needs to understand with peak sweet light crude and peak diesel in the present and in the future across the planet.  I know we've all been lightly dicussing it for 30 years, but it appears that the future is now.  It's the primary reason why nobody gives a fuck about US sanctions and the human cloud of locusts will devour every last drop until it becomes a memory.  

Before I hear the drivel from the green power asswipes or the shale/Tar sands people.  

1) The shale energy experiment is less an option than it was six months ago when it was a really bad idea, now even the energy producers understand that they have gone too far and there is nothing to offer.  The EROIE currently stands at 11 barrels of energy used for .5 made.  The Tar sands aren't much better.  All we are doing in that circumstance is wasting good diesel and sweet light crude processing garbage.  It takes 9 barrels for good sweet light crude to make 10 barrles of crappy high sulfur crude btw.

2) To the greens, the technology to move the human race off of the finite supply of energy has been around since I was a baby engineer.  Solar power has been around since the late 50's.  Hydro electric has been here since the invention of the grain mill.  Hydro is now pointless because of the continuious droughts that empty the rivers places depend on for power.  Wind has been around for millenia, yet still has yet to be organised in any meaningful way...somehow we can manage a gas station on every corner of every city for every country, but putting a tower up with a fan blade and running copper to a transformer seems "impossible".  Green energy is dead, because most of it's followers and champions are too stupid to execute a plan.

...In the meanwhile, this is all the silver, gold, copper and steel the planet has.

With no cheap energy and there is no more mining, motorized armied, bullets by the millions, coffins, medicine, nurses, schools, training, computers, insurance companies, telephones, libraries, printing presses, everything we do today requires shit tonnes of energy.  The energy that supplies everything is identical to currency, it is fungible.  Except in this situation, the decrease will only amplify shortages and cause quick and sharp losses in electricity everywhere.  We already see the war dogs pushing for their "rights" when they will be forgotten over time regardless of their intentions.

Most of what is left will be used to maintain water supplies and run farm equipment for food, if the human race is lucky enough to manage those basic necessities properly (doubtful) there might be enough energy left over to run transportation.  Believe me, there is no human standing that can perform the mining practices required over the last fifty years by hand.

So if anyone is questioning the value of a finite amount of gold, silver and oil.  Trust me on this, the past 100 years have been defined by the Wankle Rotory engine/Oil.  But EVERY time frame in human history has been defined by who has the gold which is closely tied to who has the power.  Every human story in history in any country with a written language.

 

If someone had the ability and the time, my first investment would be buying an old printing press.  Believe me, printers like Kinko's or even companies like Canon, will disappear overnight.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:02 | 2573085 CPL
CPL's picture

Hate to say...but the Mad Max theme is a good fit.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:29 | 2572978 lotusblue
lotusblue's picture

Too Funny!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:31 | 2572983 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Can someone do a Merkel and a French Bulldog morph please.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:56 | 2573057 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I'd be more interested in a Merkel on Badstuber.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:58 | 2573062 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Paging William B...or Hedgeless H...

 

Im sure they can come up with something very comical...

 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 12:13 | 2573535 indygo55
indygo55's picture

"9 9 9"

Herman Cain, 2011

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:33 | 2572989 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Looks like a caterpillar died on his head.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:37 | 2573003 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It's just a warning of the haircuts to come.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:42 | 2573025 konputa
konputa's picture

Someone showed up with their A game this morning.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:36 | 2572992 knukles
knukles's picture

"Early morning (drunk-dialing/texting)"
Seriously.
These people desperately need a Delusional Anonymous 12 Step program.
Now, who shall I pick as a sponsor?
How about that rich German broad over there?

 


Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:08 | 2573102 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

DWI

Dialing While Intoxicated

(Operator lingo)

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:14 | 2573116 falak pema
falak pema's picture

On the Staten Island ferry? 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:34 | 2572994 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Good one. Watch this melt away next week. Does anyone really think Germany is gonna go buns-up for the pigs? Would you?

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:37 | 2573005 bdc63
bdc63's picture

"Does anyone really think Germany is gonna go buns-up for the pigs?"

not for one nanosecond

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:03 | 2572998 Mercury
Mercury's picture
The Real Bailoutelli

They should design a special pasta with that name for the occasion.

What sauce goes best with insolvency?

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:11 | 2573110 ArrestBobRubin
ArrestBobRubin's picture

Anchovy sauce is pretty fishy

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:49 | 2573114 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"What sauce goes best with insolvency?"

Clam sauce..., without the clams. But they all agree and promise to bring more clams.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:36 | 2573001 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Monti is up to his tricks, and it ticks like tock on the short EUR-USD clock! I'm sure those Italian banks are now making a  killing on EUr shorts that HF put on the market floor yesterday! 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:40 | 2573017 GeneMarchbanks
GeneMarchbanks's picture

July 13th we'll know whether The Morgue got clobbered in tandem. I believe that is a Friday but I'm not superstitious or anything like that.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:12 | 2573115 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the french will celebrate with Monti on July 14th; Bastille day!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:36 | 2573002 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

trying to turn my brain off until monday. permabears unite!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:37 | 2573004 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Even the DOW is only up 65, as this latest band aid does nothing to solve the fact that Spain and Italy are broke and their bankers deserve to hang from lampposts!

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:39 | 2573007 bdc63
bdc63's picture

The market must have still been opening when you looked at it ... it was up as high as 191 by 9:37

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:40 | 2573023 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain.

"This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:06 | 2573097 falak pema
falak pema's picture

as any good adventurer will tell you : its the voyage that counts not the destination. The sailor was right he gave her the will to live and appreciate a screw driver! Plus the wine! 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:44 | 2573029 Pretorian
Pretorian's picture

Look like Corleone is finaly  in charge of Italy.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:48 | 2573039 Its_the_economy...
Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:49 | 2573041 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

yes and nobody knew about this half an hour before the close yesterday.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:50 | 2573044 LMAOLORI
Fri, 06/29/2012 - 09:58 | 2573069 lsbumblebee
lsbumblebee's picture

I think I saw that guy once in Rothschild's torture chamber.

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:14 | 2573119 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

They havent work out the details of the deal like who is going to pay for it and why they think the Germans are .

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 10:25 | 2573154 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Read what the S&P world has to say on this bail out. I have a feeling I'm hearing Robottrader! 

David Zervos: Germany Loses - Business Insider

That is the WS party line for u! Its clear as a picture! 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:01 | 2573274 EmmittFitzhume
EmmittFitzhume's picture

Chicka Chicka Yea!

 

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:03 | 2573277 EmmittFitzhume
EmmittFitzhume's picture

Hell Yeah we need some road beers! Do they sell Peroni here?

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:32 | 2573380 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Which reminds me of a recent news report folks,

Apparantly the Italian navy has a brand new fleet of boats, all decked with with the whole nine yards of gear.  And they also have glass bottoms in as well.

Reports indicate that the glass bottoms allow the the new navy, to see the old one.

;-)

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:37 | 2573393 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Also just reported today,

Why did the Italian tanks in WW2 have rear view mirrors?

Its so they could see EXACTLY what was going on in the war.

And someone told me quite some time ago the Italian CWRD 11 tank had fucking 16 reverse gears???  It only had one forward one???

;-)

Fri, 06/29/2012 - 11:40 | 2573406 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Couldnt help this one,

Why are there no Italians on the programme Star Trek?

The fuckers wont work in the future either.

;-)

Sat, 06/30/2012 - 03:21 | 2575512 Tom Green Swedish
Tom Green Swedish's picture

Ex Vampire Squid.  Doing God's work.

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