Friday Afternoon Humor: Real... Or Spam?

Tyler Durden's picture

U.S. Department of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C.
Date: 9/11/2011
Dear Beneficiary,
I am Timothy F. Geithner. The Secretary of the Treasury under the U.S Department of the Treasury. The executive agency responsible for promoting economic prosperity and ensuring the financial security of the United States. However, by virtue of my position as the Secretary of the Treasury, I have irrevocably instructed the Federal Reserve Bank to approve your fund release via issuance of a CERTIFIED cheque drawn on Standard Chartered Bank california, USA, which is the authourized bank for your fund release.
However, as a former President and Chief Executive Officer of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and being a versatile banker of repute with about 25 years experience in the financial sector, I wish to state categorically that a CERTIFIED cheque of $6,500,000.00 USD drawn on Standard Chartered Bank will be issued and sent to you via the US Postal Service at no cost to you. Every and all cost associated with the delivery of the cheque has been pre-paid by the U.S Government. The only cost associated with your fund release is the cost of processing a "Fund Clearance Certificate", which is estimated to the value of $150.00 USD. The "Fund Clearance Certificate" is required in accordance with the U.S Monetary Policy; and it is the ONLY expenses you will incurr before the cheque will be sent to your mailing address. Hence, you are advised to send the $150.00 USD via Western Union or MoneyGram ONLY to "Charles Green" who is the nominated receiver for the $150.00 USD. The wiring details is stated below:
Receiver: Charles Green
Receiver's culver city, california, USA
Test Question: Fruit
Answer: Apple
Amount: $150.00 USD
You can get more facts about the U.S. Department of the Treasury on the link below:
Please get back to me with a quick confirmation of your mailing addresss and the payment details for the $150.00 USD.
Yours Sincerely,
Timothy F. Geithner
Secretary of the Treasury

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Manthong's picture

Real… or Spam?

Try effective marketing campaign, given the general level education, intelligence and common sense in this country.

Pladizow's picture

I did'nt know Timay was Nigerian?

I asked that instead of me sending in $150.00, if they paid the $150.00 they could keep $3 of the $6.5 million - surprisingly I got no response?

Was I too greedy?

GenX Investor's picture

No, Timay is the son of a Nigerian Prince, and was trained by leading economists based out of Harare.  

Killer the Buzzard's picture

Timay isn't Nigerian.  He's the Prince of Zamunda.

Husk-Erzulie's picture

I heard he was the King of Frumunda ;-p

jeff montanye's picture

thought it was the opposite side: kenya.

eaglefalcon's picture

I remember that movie.  In one scene the Prince was a a bath, and a maids said "the royal penis has been cleaned"

redpill's picture

Is Charles the husband of Linda, by chance?

EnglishMajor's picture

As real as anything the Fed prints.

55 men's picture

I did not walk, I sprinted to the bank after I read that. You guys, that is $6.5 million, this is a no brainer.

SilverIsKing's picture

I got the same letter except it was from a very respectful Mr. Olamide Mugabe.

Sokhmate's picture

Mine was from Mogambo. the phrasing was slightly different.

Ahmeexnal's picture

German nuclear powerplant meltdown:


Low levels of radioactive particles have been detected in the Czech Republic and elsewhere in Europe, the UN nuclear agency has said.

The iodine-131 particles do not pose a public health risk, the International Atomic Energy Agency said.

The body said it was trying to work out where the particles had come from but said it did not believe the source was Japan's stricken Fukushima plant.

Slightly elevated readings of radioactive iodine have also been found in northern Germany, the country's environment ministry said.


Cue to german sheeple demanding Merkel's execution!

Market Efficiency Romantic's picture

No meltdown around. Reports also say, the dose is about 1/40,000 of what you are exposed to on an intercontinental flight. But yes, media is starting to spread fear again, never been followed by good news.

I Feel Free's picture

That comparison is misleading. It ignores the distinction between external exposure (an intercontinental flight), and internal dose or contamination (Iodine-131 ingestion or inhalation). The biological effects of internally deposited radionuclides is much greater than the equivalent external radiation exposure because the radiation interacts with the surrounding tissues to a much greater extent. 

steve from virginia's picture

Ongoing criticality at Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant(s) and emissions of short-lived isotopes.

Half-life of I-131 is a little over 8 days.

It's hard to find in the upper atmosphere because it takes a fair amount of energy to get it there. Iodine isos were common in the 1950s and 60s due to atmospheric nuclear weapons testing.

TEPCO is understating its fission product releases and energy spectra for same. There is at least one 'hot' reactor in the derelict complex. TEPCO recently admitted detecting Xenon-135 and Krypton-85 in reactor unit 2.

Possibility of run-away criticality at plant:

Element's picture

Very nicely done Steve, but you are making a basic error in thinking in verticle terms. There's little to no reason to do so.

The heat released will go UPWARD and especially LATERALLY, and so will the melt, and the toxicity ... the static and dynamic thermal effects and transients will strongly dominate, and fairly easily overcome the density effect of the metal and its mass (if it were actually that concentrated into a column as you depicted).

There is MORE THAN enough excess material there to self-interact strongly, even in a lens configuration.

I suggest a diagram that reflects a horizontal lens of layered and also convecting material, exolving gasses and steam, not a sunken column, like that, as that column will not reflect the behaviour of a very fluid wet salty metal melt.

And you do NOT put a building like that (let alone a reactor!) on thick soils, as you have depicted. This was well understood by engineers, from liquefaction events that caused whole building rotations, well before these reactors were designed and built.

It is actually sitting on consolidated marine sediments for that very reason - i.e. a porous sedimentry ROCK.

They excavated the site and overburden rock prior to building it, so there's no actual soil under there -- at all.

Also see this for other extenuating issues:



Papasmurf's picture

The good news is they are bring back the McRib.

Market Efficiency Romantic's picture

Did not really think of that, but makes absolute sense. Thanks for the heads up. Direct physical absorbing certainly presents a greater risk than indirect exposure. 

Only, it remains to be noticed that in similar cases, the source of radiation were inappropriately disposed materials from medical radiology practices. So, it should be put into some perspective when presenting it to the general public. Mere mentioning of Iodine measurements across Europe without a context is typical tabloid style, meant to scare the shit out of people.

SeanJKerrigan's picture

Something Awful Goons address Capitol One custom cards.


You know its bad when Tootsie Roll uses you as effective marketing.

Mohan's picture

Ha Ha. He would send those real letters and billions only to Goldman

SheepDog-One's picture

Fo reelz! The wiring details is stated below!

Sancho Ponzi's picture

What's really funny is that there is a Charles Green in Culver City and he does have a residence there. If this guy is 'the' Charles green and the letter is a con he deserves a Darwin Award.

RobD's picture

I vote with my avatar!

Don Smith's picture

Lol. Authourizing...Cheque... Western Union.  Bwahaha.  

data_monkey's picture

Why are you laughing? He uses fancy spelling. Gotta be from the government.

Can someone please tell me, what's a cheque?

Al Gorerhythm's picture

It's the unmangled version of the Americanised "check". In English, you "check" yourself for dapperness or you check your speed, or you check out the chicks. In American, you can write a check or do all of the above or even live in Checkoslovakia (I think that's a suburb of Washington DC, their claim to fame is they have a printing press).

No One's picture

$150 sent. Can't wait to get that $6,500,000 check..That's like what.. 10,000 ipads.. SCORE!!!!!


Arius's picture

you really believe it? nahhh ...

got to get in line ... got to satisfy MF Global customers first ... though if you promise to spent it all on ipads .... hmmmm ...may be, just may be lets see what we can do ...

this is getting too much fun ... i am truly afraid it will end in tears ... oppssss what is the third choice? first fun, second tears, third ... oppsss

No One's picture

in order to get priority in line, I had to promise one of three things:


1) Upgrade to DVD+ Streaming on NetFlix and pre-pay 50,000 months

2) Buy a shitload of crappy coffee and single cup coffee pots and a bitchin' Camaro

3) Buy 10,000 ipads.


I chose 3.

Arius's picture

good choice - no longer blacklisted! ... see you on 24th at midnight ... happy shopping!

Johnny Yuma's picture

Wow, looks like Linda Green's brother is getting in on the biz... 

MsCreant's picture

Yeah, gotta be fake. If Tim wants it from you, he'll just steal it and say the Gov needs it in treasuries.

All your funds are belong to US.

sabra1's picture

it's real. i had to pay $120.00!

Dr. Engali's picture

Can I send a money order?

Gene Parmesan's picture


and being a versatile banker of repute

What sort of repute though? Ill repute? This could be legit.

kaiserhoff's picture

OK, I'm from out of town.

Does versatile mean metrosexual?

Gene Parmesan's picture

I think it just means that he can hit from either side of the plate.

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Was Geithner related to the late President of the Ivory Coast?

hannah's picture

i sent the SOB the $150 and what i got back was worthless fiat money....! i wanted gold.....!!!!

SheepDog-One's picture

Funny part is, the $150 of your money is worth more than the $6,500,000 the FED would send you.

kaiserhoff's picture

Has to be legit.  I got almost the same letter last week from the Treasurer of Nigeria.

CPL's picture

See if they take bitcoins.  If so, then legit.

economicfreefall's picture

Just got a similar one from Draghi. He finished it off with:


Question: Italy

Answer: LOL


Colonel's picture

Small time scammers posing as bigtime scammers, hilarious!