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Record Number Of US Households On Foodstamps

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Last month, when the USDA released the latest foodstamps numbers for the month of February, there was some hope that following a third month of declines, we may just have seen the peak of US foodstamp usage and going forward we would only see the number decline. Sadly, the latest numbers refutes this: in March a total of 46,405,204 persons were at or below poverty level and thus eligible for foodstamps, a 79K increase in the month. Yet while many individuals have learned to game the system, and this numbers at the peak may fluctuate, when it comes to the far more comprehensive and difficult to fudge "households on foodstamps" number, there was no confusion: at 22,257,647, the number of US households receiving the "SNAP treatment" rose to an all time high, even as the benefit per household dropped to the second lowest ever. At least all these impoverished believers in hope and change have FaceBook IPO profits to look forward to. Oh wait.

 

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:14 | 2493554 Thomas
Thomas's picture

More importantly, where are the snorgtee ads?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:22 | 2493587 Cindy_Dies_In_T...
Cindy_Dies_In_The_End's picture

Silly peasants! Let Them Eat Hope!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:47 | 2493677 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

I gots me an OBAMA MONEY STASH/EBT Card, and that Patron tasted awfully good last weekend.

Thanks for payin' fo it, SUCKER.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:53 | 2493707 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

Let them EBT.

the slogan for Obama 2012

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:33 | 2493847 Satan
Satan's picture

Let them keep the change.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:39 | 2493639 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Thank you for mentioning the Snorgtee ads. I missed them too and now adsense has them back again!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:19 | 2493806 Thomas
Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:40 | 2493868 Texas Ginslinger
Texas Ginslinger's picture

Snorgtee ads rock...........

Tyler,  we need more of em...............

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:40 | 2493646 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

Guess who is in charge of this SNAP program..yes JP Morgan, so you know it is fucked up and they have a profit machine behind it. If you are looking for the cause of many of the worlds problems, look no further than the Squid or the Whale! I hear they eat babies too!

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 00:37 | 2494827 OccupyTVstations
OccupyTVstations's picture

Not only does JPM profit off this, they outsourced the jobs to India! It's so absurd a third grader can readily see the lunacy, but 'surprisingly' our politicians cannot.

Is it time to surround the TV stations yet? Time to Shame the sellout newsreaders into breaking ranks and speaking facts not on their telepromters?

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:34 | 2500615 mkkby
mkkby's picture

7 weeks 6 days.  No wonder you're so dumb.  The politicians aren't stupid - they're corrupt.  They only seem stupid if you think they work for you.  They don't.  They work for the lobbyists, mainly the bankers.

Occupy ZH for a while longer before making any more of a fool of yourself.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:28 | 2493838 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

And why cant I ever see their feet?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:32 | 2493846 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

No Ashley Pridgen for you!

Until further notice you will only get MetLife and Ameritrade ads.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:08 | 2493943 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hope & Change.  

The Tylers need more Snorg Tees and the other T Shirt company they are running banners for. I cannot rememberthe othe rcompany's name but the girls have bigger busoms.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:26 | 2493989 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

Is it just me or do you see more and more "EBT accepted here" signs everywhere? Costco, BJ's, Stop and Shop, Kings, Shop Rite etc etc etc.... it's as if the gubmint is "secretly" bailing out the retail chains... hmm

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:33 | 2494006 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

You are correct. Also, look at what you can buy now with SNAP, bbq chicken wings and other snack foods, already prepared. Can't make your own wngs when you are busy being unemployed.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:41 | 2500634 mkkby
mkkby's picture

These EBT zombies are the best retail customers.  No price sensitivity for free shit.  No wonder the signs are going up everywhere.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:03 | 2494272 pods
pods's picture

I actually saw an "EBT accepted here" on a gas pump in central PA last week!

pods

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:29 | 2494168 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Gentlemen I have to weigh in on this one.  At our Car Stereo store in Oregon people are now paying for their stereo systems with their EBT card.  In Oregon we call it the "Oregon Trail" card.  When this first started happening a few months ago...I was astonished.  $400 stereo paid for with the Food Stamp card.  I asked some people how you could do this, and they explained to me that each person that has one of these cards receives a percentage as a "Cash Benefit" for necessities that are not food.  Well boys...looks like their are no real enforceable rules in this game.  Nothing really surprises me any more....except some of the hilarious comments on ZH.  NOTE:We do not take the cards directly, these people use the ATM in our store and receive cash.  Your tax dollars at work putting booming systems in the old Cutlass.  LOL...and for your enjoyment...take a look at this...

http://www.king5.com/news/investigators/13-thousand-welfare-recipients-a...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:43 | 2494624 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

cool, they're using tax dollars just like their elected officials

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:53 | 2494254 UH-60 Driver
UH-60 Driver's picture

Most of these "poor" are victims of their own vote.

The amatuer President will help with hope, change, and Machiavellian Politics.

I do try to hide my pleasure and glee whilst minding another's pain and misfortune from their own actions. 

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:18 | 2493569 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Wonder how many of these people are employed in government positions, thus are double dipping.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:19 | 2493572 cossack55
cossack55's picture

At least with reduced benefits they will also be able to reduce their intake of Monsanto GMO poison.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:39 | 2493643 Matt
Matt's picture

The fact that these families need less money to buy food each month is a clear sign of Deflation. Hurry Ben, get inflation back to 2 percent!

/sarc

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:29 | 2493998 jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

FYI, I believe very soon you will see that a direct connection between Monsatan GMO products and diabetes/obesity will be establisshed as commonplace. Even Walmart shoppers won't eat that shit when they find out it's killing them slowly!!

Here's some good news for justice

http://www.rt.com/news/monsanto-brazil-seed-soy-908/

5 million Brazilian farmers sue Monsatan...

You ain't seen nuttin yet!!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:49 | 2494638 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Everyone needs to sue Monsanto. GMOs are, hands down, the largest human mistake 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:20 | 2493578 meatball
meatball's picture

The peasants will revolt sooner or later.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:20 | 2493580 Robslob
Robslob's picture

Then Walmart and JPMorgan should be celebrating this revelation!

There are without a doubt the 2 largest benefactors of the SNAP program.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:24 | 2493590 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Liquor store owner doin good too

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:39 | 2493642 veyron
veyron's picture

I was under the impression that JPM couldn't charge fees on those transactions ...

 

"It is illegal for anyone to charge sales tax, surcharges or card processing fees from an EBT SNAP account, according to federal law and USDA SNAP Guidelines." <-- http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/retailers/pdfs/Retailer_Training_Guide.pdf

[edit] 
Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:42 | 2493655 Matt
Matt's picture

Maybe they just pocket anything that comes out under a full cent, like in Superman 2 or how FX trading services make their money by taking anything smaller than a pip.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:53 | 2493706 toady
toady's picture

I heard the .gov side pays the transaction fees, so that part is 'free'.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:13 | 2493950 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Jamie "I Don't Follow Rules" Dimon being held back by regulations? There's a campaign contribution for that.

Then again, you can listen to one of their representatives for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgokq_nCmow

Carry on.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:36 | 2494010 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

How would you feel if someone told you that one of the largest banks on Wall Street makes more money whenever the number of Americans on food stamps goes up? Unfortunately, this is something that is actually true. In the United States today, one out of every seven Americans is on food stamps. In fact, the number of Americans on food stamps has increased by a whopping 14 million since Barack Obama entered the White House. All of this makes JP Morgan very happy, because JP Morgan has been making money by the boatload on food stamps. Right now, JP Morgan Chase issues food stamp debit cards in 26 U.S. states and the District of Columbia. The division of JP Morgan Chase that issues these debit cards made an eye-popping 5.47 billion dollars in net revenue during 2010. JP Morgan is paid per customer, so when the number of Americans on food stamps goes up, they make more money. But doesn't this give JP Morgan an incentive to try to keep the number of Americans on food stamps as high as possible? Of course it does. JP Morgan is interested in making money as rapidly as possible. If JP Morgan can get more Americans enrolled in the food stamp program and keep them enrolled in it for as long as possible, that is good for business.

And the Obama administration is certainly doing what it can to help out. Even though a whopping 46 million Americans are now on food stamps, the Obama administration plans to give out large amounts of money to organizations that are able figure out ways to get even more people enrolled in the program....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:12 | 2494115 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

What kind of stooge are you?  That wasn't even funny.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:51 | 2500672 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Read the article more closely. 22 million on food stamps, not 46 million.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:28 | 2493601 urbanelf
urbanelf's picture

Here in California, we prefer to call it "CalFresh".

 

I shit you not. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:35 | 2493624 Rainman
Rainman's picture

I feel ya.....shoulda called it CalFukked

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:49 | 2494243 AetosAeros
AetosAeros's picture

Okay, don't blame me for my history.... I used to work as an eligibility specialist for SNAP, Child Care, Financial Assistance, and Medicaid.....

We used to call our clients EBT cards 'Ghetto Visa's'.

 

LMAO for a while when I first heard my Supervisor refer to one as that.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:34 | 2493619 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Do not disturb. Socialism in progress.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 07:35 | 2495190 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Stop the engine, get everybody on.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:35 | 2493626 Olympia
Olympia's picture

The over-profits of the shark loans in the USA not only did not turn their dollars into inflationary money, but also they were multiplied and exported abroad in the form of “investments”. The illegally “increased" dollars of the internal USA economy become tons of “investments” abroad. FED printed cheap money and loansharking multiplied this money in an unnatural way within the American economy boarders and they discarded them abroad so that they did not threaten USA. USA became the first state in the world with artificial “breathing” ...the first state that burdened the international economy with its “breathing” ... and this is where everything started ...this is where the current shabbiness started, Loan sharks that are international today and “hide” behind the vague term of “Markets” are in fact the old loan sharks of the American market. They by controlling the USA monetary system “pumped in air” constantly in order to make profit from the USA “breathing”.

 

http://eamb-ydrohoos.blogspot.com/2012/01/global-debt-crisis.html

 

 

Authored by PANAGIOTIS TRAIANOU

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:36 | 2493631 davinci7_gis
davinci7_gis's picture

If they can't pass a drug test, they shouldn't get food stamps!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:49 | 2493685 FlyoverCountryS...
FlyoverCountrySchmuck's picture

You must be a RASSIS!! Or a 'phobe, or sumpin.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:12 | 2494113 NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

I'm all for getting the losers off of the taxpayer teat, but let's get real, reducing the foodstamp rolls would dramatically reduce the revenue of some huge corporations.  I've come to the conclusion that the poor are in part a magician's misdirection by the food companies, grocery stores, JP Morgan, government services, etc...to give the American taxpayer a place to direct their anger while behind the scenes they rape us of billions.  Why else would Yum! brands and Starbucks want their cut?? 

Foodstamps give huge corporations a direct line into our wallets without us ever having to enter a grocery store to buy their products.  Fuck all of 'em. 

http://articles.businessinsider.com/2011-12-02/news/30466462_1_food-stamps-supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program-hot-food

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:50 | 2494639 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

If you can't pass a food test, you shouldn't get drug stamps. HFCS=Medical treadmill. Eat yo greens bitchez!

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 15:53 | 2500681 mkkby
mkkby's picture

I'd rather see a different needs test. No able bodied adults who could be working at something.  Only the truely disabled, and then make it a decent amount.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:43 | 2493634 Samual Adams
Samual Adams's picture

So I have a Depends Ad from Walmart staring at me from the left side ad space.   Google must be expecting me to shit my pants sometime soon.  And only wants to protect me.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:43 | 2493662 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

We'll all need 'em before this is over.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:42 | 2494023 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

That Depends...on whether you're prepared or not...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:51 | 2494641 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

What type of a thong does an 80 year old woman wear? Depends.....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:42 | 2493653 Conman
Conman's picture

I thought the USDA jsut put the grade on beef or something. Good to know they do other thinds.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:44 | 2493663 Matt
Matt's picture

It is the very nature of beauracracy to always grow and take on more responsibility, to insure their jobs are never reduced, only added to.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:46 | 2493671 Samual Adams
Samual Adams's picture

Drones for the USDA Bitchez.

"USDA may use drones to monitor vast Western rangeland"

Drones for every Gov Agency including your locol jack booted revenue generating thug(police)

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2493693 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

You shoulden't have anything to fear; unless you are breaking the law of rules.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:58 | 2493731 toady
toady's picture

Hey! That's what I always say!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:09 | 2493944 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

What rule of law? Where is John corzine? Easy enough to intercept the control frequencies.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:39 | 2494019 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Law of rules, not rule of law. It's not the same.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:43 | 2493661 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

Who is the Fed's ad agency for food stamps?  This is really heroic growth and I'd like to get in on that caliber of marketing.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:49 | 2493684 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

My Girlfriend's aunt is a 1yr vetran on EBT.  She is a boomer who found herself jobless in 2007.  She is currently nearing the end of a three week vacation to Paris and Rome.

She claims to be embarrassed about her situation yet she brings it up in the company of strangers.  The looter mentality has reached critical mass; we are doomed. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:19 | 2493967 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

It was very common in some European countries for people on long term unemployment to take vacations outside of Europe in Asia, etc.

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:44 | 2494024 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

In the early 1980's I knew several Brits in Israel and Egypt who were on the dole in the Netherlands from a construction job they had worked there. The money went to a pub they knew the owner of, and he sent it on to them.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 01:17 | 2494888 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I heard it today in a Starbucks like sandwich shop. I was picking up lunch.  Old white couple walked in dressed fairly well. She was overweight with cane. Not fat. He was fitter.  She is on the phone.  SHe worked for a southern city and probably took the lump sum and lost money in the markets. He had a pension with the southern state.

She is in retirement and breaks her leg or the doctor did something that broke her leg.  She goes back to the city and sues for disability. Note she had probably been retired for a few years!

Her tribe lawyer, she was not part of that group, takes it to the state supreme court and she gets it.   I guess somehow they figure out how to sue the state to also get disability for her fit looking husband!  I could not believe what I am hearing!  

She rationalizes this behavior because she lost money in the market.  She felt she was entitled!  She was also very proud of herself.  I am waiting for my sandwich and I hear all of this as she is talking loudly on her iPhone. I wanted to throw up.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:50 | 2493690 Thunder_Downunder
Thunder_Downunder's picture

All those people, living large off taxpayer dollars. Disgracesful.

 

You don't seek bankers 'eating for free' do ya? Those noble souls pay their way...

 

<tic>

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:51 | 2493692 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

when i was out of work, i actually looked into food stamps, i was told i didnt qualify and it seemed very difficult .....how are all these people getting approved, are they really worse than someone out of work who had a few dollars in the bank ?????

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:25 | 2493986 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Is this a rhetorical question?

"Money in the bank" = 1%er

Consume all of your banked money, get groceries.

Honestly, I didn't know anyone kept money in a bank anymore. It goes in on payday, then comes out shortly thereafter. Anything less is just asking for theft.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 07:26 | 2498711 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

funny guy.  you really are.  so here we go.  why even have a bank account to have money go into on payday.  and then, logically, why even work?  and i've seen lots of smart guys like you over the years and via 2,000 years of people writing documents.  it's possible to live without 'groceries' or ancient term - food - sustenance - come on big guy.  you can do it.  buddha did.  gandhi did.

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:34 | 2494007 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

they qualified because, via birth, and prior births, and prior births - they've all been in the system for a long time.  so - if your mom was in the system, you can be.

if you are smart enough to find your way here and be able to post something in reasonable english.  believe me - you don't want to be in the system.  there are still better alternatives.  it really isn't that bad yet.

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:46 | 2494027 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

So the welfare system is a family business? Who would have thought. Someday, young lady, all of this will be yours......

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:17 | 2494133 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Finally something funny!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:52 | 2493700 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

My sister in laws cousin three times removed made a 10,000% annual profit buying food stamps at a 30% discount hanging  out right in front of liquor store. You can do it too. (only work the first 4 days of every month) Just click

www.cashforfoodstampsrightnow.com

 

 

 

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:42 | 2493876 Tinky
Tinky's picture

Superb, and very enlightening post. However, at the risk of being pedantic, you omitted the apostrophe in "laws".

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:52 | 2493701 DaylightWastingTime
DaylightWastingTime's picture

SNAP crackle and pop!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:53 | 2493704 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

What an awful mess.

 

SP500 looks bearish - http://bullandbearmash.com/index/sp-500/daily/

 

It's going to be terrible by the time we hit bottom.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 17:58 | 2493727 Jack Kreuz
Jack Kreuz's picture

"Suck it in and cope, buddy" --Charlie Munger, beneficiary of the bailouts

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:05 | 2493759 miker
miker's picture

Hell, they're advertising on the radio for SNAP.

Recent article in WSJ showed billions in waste as people are selling the cards for cash.  Program will replace up to 4 "lost" cards a year.  The cards are like debit cards; no ID required to use so that the program participants will not be singled out,  ashamed, etc.  Also they can hand it to their teenage son so he can go to the store and buy a pop and chips. 

I think just about anyone could get this if they lie.

The problem is there is no shame in our country anymore.  People in the Great Depression were ashamed to take welfare and handouts. 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:09 | 2493945 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Bankers and politicians have lead by example.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:20 | 2493971 spooz
spooz's picture

Food stamps started in 1939 during the Great Depression.  Hungry people have no shame.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:49 | 2494034 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

You are talking about pre-tv America. People were not yet educated by the Joos in how to behave.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 00:38 | 2494830 Cortez the Killer
Cortez the Killer's picture

Funny, you picked the picture of a Joo for your screen image.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:09 | 2493763 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

Take away the food and Shit Hits The Fan pretty quick. This government program will be one of the last to end before the meltdown and probably has a lot of growing yet to do.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:39 | 2493864 besnook
besnook's picture

so far, the anti riot programs are working the way they were intended to work.

 

given the number of people who don't have a clue what's going on and the number of people ready to vote for obamney2012 i don't have much faith in the usa public interrupting their regularly scheduled programming for much less than internet and/or cable disruption.

 

the status quo is still winning.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:31 | 2494005 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

i think it's more like the i-toys and the cable.  it's much easier to beg/borrow/steal food then have your texting shut down and turned on again.

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:24 | 2494320 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

BINGO, hungry bellies make for angry people, angry people play with matches..

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:10 | 2493774 Heroic Couplet
Heroic Couplet's picture

Maybe JP Morgan will get to the point that the only item the bank and Dimon are in charge of is food stamps. Dimon will be a government flunky, just as he is now after receiving a government bailout.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:14 | 2493788 JohnKozac
JohnKozac's picture

I guess that's 46,405,204 persons who ain't going to be buying a house any time soon. Just a wild guess.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:06 | 2493938 Matt
Matt's picture

With an FDA loan, you could probably get a house on some acreage and use the EBT to cover the downpayment.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:51 | 2494042 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

You can use your SNAP to show you have income. Just like pre-2007!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:20 | 2493810 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

I want some

can I use them to buy me some kombucha and chlorella tablets

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:24 | 2493819 Clever Name
Clever Name's picture

Make your own booch!

And if you figure out how to make chlorella, let me know.

 

Oh SNAP!

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:43 | 2493879 Sophist Economicus
Sophist Economicus's picture

My neighbor's friend makes $13,800/month maufacturing chlorella on her computer in her spare time.   Visit www.chlorellaoncomputerforcash.com

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:33 | 2494187 kekekekekekeke
kekekekekekeke's picture

heh I did for a while my kombucha mother was craaazy thick 

 

good times ^_^ I should try try again though 

 

my boyfriend likes the frou-frou kind with strawberry puree 

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 06:03 | 2495088 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

I think they accept them at the Asia massage parlor. If not, you can use them to get some Tide, and I'm almost positive they accept Tide.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:38 | 2493861 EuroCachondeo
EuroCachondeo's picture

 

This just in: The New Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS) legislation

New York/ by Mark FoodBerg (Fall Street Journal) --- The new Federal Fucking Fat America Program (FFF-AP) legislation will bring a new era of social growth by leveraging Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS), a new kind of Social Financial Engineering Instrument (SFEI).

Under this program, holders of federal food stamps will be able to obtain loans to buy food from Primary Food Providers (PFP).  FuckDonalds, StarSucks, SugarCola, and FuckMart have been appointed as PFP by the Federal Fat Food Administration (FFFA).

Taking advantage of the Federal Food Stamp Multiplier (FFSM), holders of food stamps with notional of $10 will be able to obtain Fully Guaranteed Food Stamp Loans (FGFSL) worth 10,000 times the notional food stamp value.

The Fucking Federal Food Stamp Reserve (FFFSR) will issue food stamps under the Quantitative Food Stamp Digesting Program (QFSDP). This federal program will ensure that 311 million US citizens are provided with $300 worth of food stamps every month.

FoodBook -the socialist food network- has been appointed as the Primary Food Stamp Loan Originator (PFSLO). Participants in the FFF-AP will need to sign up into FoodBook, and upload their Fat Face Picture (FFP).

Upon receiving the message “You have a new fat friend”  from the Fucking Federal Food Stamp Reserve (FFFSR) and clicking “Like,” FoodBook users will be automatically approved for a food loan worth 10,000 times their holdings of food stamps. 

FoodBook will automatically repackage millions of these loans into Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS). These new Social Financial Engineering Instrument (SFEI) securities will be then sold to institutional investors, mutual funds and pension funds, thus creating a new high-growth market for Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS).

Fatty Mae & Lardy Mae will be appointed as Primary Food Stamp Backed Securities Market Makers (PFSBSMM) ensuring that demand & supply imbalances of Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS) are centrally absorbed.

It is expected that 500 million FoodBook American users will generate an estimated $5 Trillion in newly created Food Stamp Backed Securities (FSBS).

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:53 | 2494056 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Sad to say, that makes just as much sense as what the Joos have done to the financial system since 1913.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:38 | 2493863 Snakeeyes
Snakeeyes's picture

Goes hand in hand with record number of people on disabilitly. Since June 2010, over 2 million MORE people have gone on disabililty, over 5 million on food stamps, but less than 2 milllion dropped off of unemployment.

http://confoundedinterest.wordpress.com/2012/06/02/recovery-summer-scorecard-170000-more-on-disability-than-decline-in-unemployment-a-disabled-recovery/

A regulated recovery.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:41 | 2493873 bigwavedave
bigwavedave's picture

There should be a BMI (Body Mass Index) limit to qualify. (Memo to Mayor Bloomberg)

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 18:57 | 2493917 misnomer
misnomer's picture

I don't think we have a foodstamps program here in Canada, but we do have lots of "freegans". 

Most everyone I know calls them dumpster divers, but hey, maybe they're on to something?  Or maybe they are just preparing for time when this is survival? 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/in-pictures-freegans-find-d...

 

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:58 | 2494069 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

Canada is such a sucker they give money to people who haven't even got there yet..... money for refugees and "protected persons". WTF?

Maybe I will apply as a refugee from the Obama dictatorship.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 05:58 | 2495081 memyselfiu
memyselfiu's picture

Canada has a comprehensive network of food banks, as such it is harder to game the system. Much like still marking an x on a ballot, simpler yet just as effective for its intended purpose.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:24 | 2494582 canadiandollar
canadiandollar's picture

nah, we just wire welfare money direct to the accounts of these lazy pricks so they dont have to make that arduous journey down to the local govt office. you know, because their day is so hectic as it is.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 06:00 | 2495086 memyselfiu
memyselfiu's picture

So what you're saying is we should try and generate a paper check to be picked up at 10-20 times the cost, just to make the welfare bums walk? Seems like cutting your nose off to spite your face, but whatever floats your boat....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:21 | 2493972 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Food, it does a body good...you can stamp on that.......

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:22 | 2493973 Alpacanio
Alpacanio's picture

I expect that number to jump over the summer with millions going off of unemployment between June and Augest...

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:28 | 2493995 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

America - runs on stamp'n....

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:40 | 2494020 JR
JR's picture

CNN Money, 8.4.11 –“The highest concentration of food stamp users are in California, Florida, New York and Texas -- where more than 3 million residents in each state received food stamps in May (2011).

The states with the highest Latino populations are: 1) California, 2) Texas, 3) Florida, 4) New York.

*Note: Over half of the U.S. Latino population lives within California, Texas and Florida.

 

http://www.newstaco.com/2011/06/14/the-top-10-states-with-the-largest-latino-populations/

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:55 | 2494060 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

That's just outright racist. Racist, to the goddamn core.

How about this little nugget? The top four US states in rank of population are - you guessed it, the same four that lead the country in food stamp usage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_popu...

Can you believe people who believe in Jeebus and marriage being the union of "one man and one woman" - i.e. "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!" - will go to the polls in November and cast a vote for a known polygamist? And that there are people who will go to the polls and vote AGAINST somebody solely due to the color of their skin?

Just had to throw that in, for some reason.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:01 | 2494079 Moe Howard
Moe Howard's picture

I won't vote for R or D but your bullshit post needs to get called out.

1. He is not a polygamist. WTF any of that has to do with perverts getting married is beyond me.

2. Almost all the black people will vote for Obama, soely because of the color of his skin. WTF?

Just had to throw that in, for some reason, lamebrain.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:29 | 2494375 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Obama deserves to be thrown out of office for his total incompetance. I'd also vote for his dog BO instead if he ran against him. Does that make me a racist or just someone who sees the empty suit for what it is?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:58 | 2494486 JR
JR's picture

According to The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition (2003 paper): Compared with non-Hispanic whites, nearly 3 times as many Hispanic households receive food stamps (29.9% compared with 10.7%).

http://www.ajcn.org/content/78/6/1120.full

There’s nothing wrong with race and identifying what race is doing.  When your country has an open border policy, is it racist to say what effect the change in demographics is doing to the economy?

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 19:50 | 2494036 myne
myne's picture

It's a productivity crisis.

There is simply too much productivity.

One person can comfortably support several people's survival.

Think about it. Many are hungry in the US, but none, bar the odd face eater are starving.

The current production of the working supports the entire country.

At the global level, the current production of the working supports the entire world. This removes the abstraction of future production via debt.

It is ALWAYS current production that supports EVERYONE.

Ergo, the productive are too productive.

The USA and europe could solve unemployment in 3 months, and be on the upswing in 6 months with one single law.

"Overtime pay starts at 35 hours regardless of whether the job is a wage or a salary."

The market is already somewhat adjusting to this new reality by reducing full time workers and increasing part time workers.

Perhaps it's an innate sense of fairness, perhaps it's a method of dominance. Whatever the motive, the market is rebalancing to a new reality of productivity being greater than the need or ability to consume.

This will play out in one or two ways.

1) It will be market driven with employers holding the power. Most of the world is doing this.

2) It will be driven from the top/bottom (governments or unions), with the employers not holding the power. Germany is doing this.

 

Personally, I'd rather live with the German method. It's fairer.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:13 | 2494108 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

It's a jackass crisis.

There is simply too much "jackass-ary".

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 23:28 | 2494723 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Someone in Central Florida is reporting a stolen lawn flamingo. That is apparently your avatar after some flat-black krylon.

Go back to your Merkhole.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:31 | 2494181 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

EBT is the new Black.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 20:52 | 2494249 JackT
JackT's picture

So more people were added to food stamps in March than NFP in May! What a freaking mess.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:29 | 2494373 dolph9
dolph9's picture

It's one big centrally planned clusterfuck, folks.

And who's the sucker!  You!

This is the number one lesson to learn.  Let it be burnt into your brain cells.  You are the sucker.

Only when you realize this will you understand what to do next.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 21:46 | 2494446 Red Sole Shoes
Red Sole Shoes's picture

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:00 | 2494511 Red Sole Shoes
Red Sole Shoes's picture

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:04 | 2494521 canadiandollar
canadiandollar's picture

bullish for kraft dinner and hotdog stocks.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:14 | 2494561 Red Sole Shoes
Red Sole Shoes's picture

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Mon, 06/04/2012 - 22:23 | 2494580 justsayin2u
justsayin2u's picture

winning! bullish for jpm.

Mon, 06/04/2012 - 23:20 | 2494706 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

S.N.A.P., CRACK and Pop (or grape drink). Discarded flamin' cheetoh bags in someone's yard optional.

THE Other Economy.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 00:01 | 2494775 Old Poor Richard
Old Poor Richard's picture

Shit, my taxes went up by more than $277/mo for TY2011 vs 2010.  Had to boost withholding just so I won't owe several grand in April 2013.  Pissed me off. 

There's got to be some way to sign up for the gravy train without having to get laid off, right?  I wanna get me some Obamabucks!

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 00:14 | 2494796 Yohimbo
Yohimbo's picture

does tulving take EBT for monster boxes?

sign me up if so, who doesnt like sitting on the couch all day waiting for PM delivery

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 00:35 | 2494824 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

It's free, swipe your EBT.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzspsovNvII

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 01:41 | 2494928 noname
noname's picture

I very much enjoy the conversations on these questions, but most have know clue when dealing with the poor and hungary. The Stats in the USA on this are staggering, and the remarks made by some here are so out in left field that if explained on terms where many would listen without judgement you would see how little this effects things in your life.

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 03:46 | 2495022 Chrikus van der...
Chrikus van der Rockhuizen's picture

what do you get for a foodstamp? this should help the obesity problem?

Mon, 06/11/2012 - 08:12 | 2513899 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

The handshake seals the contract
From the contract there's no turning back
The turning point of a career
In Korea being insincere
The holiday was fun-packed
The contract, still intact

The graph on the wall
Tells the story of it all
Picture it now see just how
The lies and deceit gained a little more power
Confidence, taken in
By a suntan and a grin

Arkipelago&Chute

 

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