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Retail Participation In The Stock Market Is So Horrendous That...

Tyler Durden's picture





 

... Groupon is now offering a 97% off "four day online stock-trading course." While not nearly as big as the discount we have all grown to expect from Whitney Tilson's Value Investing Congress, this offer demonstrates just how much interest the retail investing public has regarding stocks. And why any administration, whether the current or the future one, that believes it can delude the general public into ignoring the broad economy and focusing only on the Russell 2000 as proof of "how good it is" will have its work cut out.

h/t hopeless for change

 


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Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:03 | Link to Comment The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

siting at starbucks drinking 6 dollar coffee, unemployed people will trade stocks on their igizmo trying to pay for lunch

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:06 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I read Graham's "The Intelligent Investor" to learn about markets.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | Link to Comment Thomas
Thomas's picture

How's workin' for ya? I'll tell you, the only reason I don't leave the entire investing world is that I would then be long the dollar, and THAT would suck.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | Link to Comment camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | Link to Comment AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

retail is in bonds.....

 

boomers are afraid and running out of time till retirement.

 

can't afford to lose 10-20% of principal for 2-3% premium.

 

not enough risk premium for equities

 

better do another QE.

 

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:11 | Link to Comment MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sorry...I'm new to this...can you help me out with some of those technical terms?

"retirement" - wassat?

"risk premium"...whats one of those and where can I find one?

 

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:55 | Link to Comment A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Where is Robo anyhow? I'm beginning to worry that perhaps he was one of the billboard dummies.......

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:06 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

gotta love that BUY BUY BUY graphic

 

they make up the 97% by getting greater fools to buy their penny stocks...  how's that SYNC play doing NIA?????

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:25 | Link to Comment Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

"These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes."    Robo is the instructor.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | Link to Comment Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

And I hear there is a basement casino in Harlem with excellent security!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

you are long the dollar so long as you transact your day to day affairs with it, including investing.....................makes not a bit of difference...........

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 20:31 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | Link to Comment vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

they need to go NIRP and pay you to attend this crap! I can't fucking wait for the R2K to fucking tank!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | Link to Comment financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

you caaan do it!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:19 | Link to Comment dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

$49!!!!

Way too much.

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:58 | Link to Comment CPL
CPL's picture

If they paid $49 I would sit and listen...I wouldn't buy though.  Treat it like those timeshare presentations that get your parking validated with a dinner and a show.  Killing time in florida.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:31 | Link to Comment rlouis
rlouis's picture

If you order on an i-phone it's $57.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:39 | Link to Comment FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I am not a professional trader but I enjoyed mutual funds and some stocks from the 1980's on. I do not know how anyone trades anything in this market. The markets are fully government manipulated, both publicly and secretly. How can you make any decisions when the next headline or statement from some EU drone may wipe you out?

It is not so much based on anyone's P/E's anymore but what the Fed or the EU or what some Prime Minister says. Your smart trade in buying Acme, Inc. will get wiped out by the tsunami movement as everyone liquidates at robo-speed with the latest bad news from Greece. You sell just as Draghi promises to save the day and causes a huge two day rally.

So, the guys at Starbucks may not be all wrong. The market to me is worse than Vegas. At least in Vegas I know the exact odds of every bet at the craps table and I can control my risk. The tax forms are easier, too.

I suggest giving up trading and working on your Texas Hold 'em.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:08 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Amazon.....200 PE and Beyond!!!!!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:01 | Link to Comment Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

You get free drinks in Vegas too.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:04 | Link to Comment Confundido
Confundido's picture

Does anyone know a country that on its way to high inflation would have not lost its capital markets? Exactly! In fact, the destruction of capital markets -above all, the destruction of the futures markets- is the proof, that the doors open to high inflation first and hyperinflation in the end. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:27 | Link to Comment Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Most muppets cannot understand massive market destroying volatilty is what it looks like when hyperinflation starts to take hold or that no one can do business in that environment.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | Link to Comment Precious
Precious's picture

"Attention muppets."

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It won't be long before Groupon is trading at a 97% discount to it's IPO price.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:22 | Link to Comment Precious
Precious's picture

... and Pincus will be on Oprah ... (the show)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 09:57 | Link to Comment dannyboy
dannyboy's picture

Ba dum dum tss.

Well played Engali.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | Link to Comment mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

97% off a course that will lose you 90% of everything you have.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:07 | Link to Comment Thomas
Thomas's picture

Yup. What's not to like?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | Link to Comment Precious
Precious's picture

No "have" necessary.  They take Visa.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:09 | Link to Comment dead hobo
dead hobo's picture

$49???

How long would the payback be on that if you followed their advice? Do they teach any laptop or android algos? It sure would be nice to make money with my Xoom tablet.  I use comcast for my internet. Will that be fast enough?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:26 | Link to Comment ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

HFT app for iPhone?  Brilliant.  You better trademark that.  Seriously.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 10:52 | Link to Comment short-swap
short-swap's picture

Heard AT&T has 4G-HF coming soon. Alas, not for Verizon though.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:29 | Link to Comment gregga777
gregga777's picture

Sure. Plenty fast for them to fleece you out of every last penny before your choco-mocha-latte has even started to cool one degree Celsius. Why, I bet they could empty your account before you could even blink. Is that fast enough for you?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | Link to Comment Christoph830
Christoph830's picture

Does it really take four days to teach someone how to operate a slightly glorified slot machine?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:13 | Link to Comment gregga777
gregga777's picture

Yes. There really are people that dense. That is why they take up politicking for a living. You can honestly not be lying if you are too stupid to realize that every line on the TelePrompTer is either a lie or a "damn" lie.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:07 | Link to Comment jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

i used to like to do about a dozen trades per month..  not any more.  i'm out of the markets and out of paper assets.

i am boycotting the markets until they make HFT's pay per trade (like me) and i am not risking my money until i see some perp-walks..  

the markets have become a giant wealth extraction system and i refuse to be a victim of it.

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:22 | Link to Comment slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, jack!

when i get my ass kicked, i don't like to talk abt it either

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:24 | Link to Comment Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Slewie,

Why do i have a hunch that your Asian? Not being racist, just am I right or wrong.

http://omgface.com/a1

Nevermind, I don't think you'd tell us anyway.

Yours Truly,

Larry

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:31 | Link to Comment Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

"account has been closed" -

Great decision for me, all cash now.

Of course, I'm not talking millions, but there are fund fiduciaries claims they're better than everyone else, I don't see it. Then there are those who always throw:"You missed the best rally of all time!" Maybe so, but if I can't physically access it with my own hands, I just no longer trust "them" and/or my own government. At my level, I can't afford to be wiped out or have my assets stolen from me.

My solution? No risk.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:03 | Link to Comment CPL
CPL's picture

Exactly, it is the protective reaction of those that save for a rainy day, a perfectly sensible one at that.

 

The trader's third position of no trade.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 18:37 | Link to Comment smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

as i watched the clowns the other day on comedy cent...i mean cnbc, that were jumping for joy that cash is dead and it is so easy to just keep it digital.....so we are almost to the point were cash wont exist...so the uniformed or  as their defined in websters ...{n} sheepish uptherectus...will not have anything under their mattress and will feel very secure in knowing their lifetime wealth is right in front of them on their digital screen....and i think tptb will be happy with the percentage of digital savers compared to the crazy out of the box metal savers....

and over the last 2 yrs. my wife and myself withdrew our self directed iras...took the exit fucking and now have a portfolio of dirt and metals...

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 18:18 | Link to Comment smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

jack, does the 3 day settlement apply to hft? or does the three day rule just apply to the individual fool?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 21:14 | Link to Comment jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

i fail to understand why the humans pay to trade and the robots don't..  i think the same rules should apply to all traders.

the whole concept of spoofing trades and front running is repulsive to human traders.  its like a parasite in the system.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | Link to Comment LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Shit! For half that I can get an indepth course from a damn cheap prostitute on the process of getting F__KED!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:06 | Link to Comment gregga777
gregga777's picture

And have a mighty fine time in the process, too! Especially if you double down and procure a fine pair of the, ah, "ladies" to double your practice session. Because, practice makes perfect!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | Link to Comment bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

I think I'll save my money and buy shares of Groupon. I mean...uh...nm.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:09 | Link to Comment govttrader
govttrader's picture

This is whats great about the bond market...most of the large trades are humans...not machines

http://govttrader.blogspot.com/

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 17:41 | Link to Comment Ness.
Ness.'s picture

CME Interest Rate Products.

 

Globex vol - 3,234,258

Open Outcry vol - 16,320

 

Did you forget the /sarc?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | Link to Comment Catullus
Catullus's picture

Buy low, sell high. Always split aces. And a stop order is an invitation to get fucked by an algo.

There you go. Free.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:10 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

what about Insurance?  a good hedge?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:27 | Link to Comment ExpendableOne
ExpendableOne's picture

You need to wrap a power point around that and sell it!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | Link to Comment Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Another case where Central Planners have broken a system.  Don't you look forward to them running health care?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | Link to Comment reader2010
reader2010's picture

People are always looking at ways to make "easy" money and equity market is hardly a place for realizing that dream thesedays. Why don't they come up with something like Nothin'-Down-Rental-Property-Income-Cash-Cow course? 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | Link to Comment gregga777
gregga777's picture

Why bother? I can save 100% of the original course's cost plus whatever few greenbacks remaining buried in my backyard by not trading at all! Ha! Trading? That's what small-town southern cops used to say you were doing them. Trading a $20 for your freedom or spend the weekend in jail for driving 26 mph in a posted 25 mph zone! I loved those days. At least the cops did not try spinning some fairy tale story. Give them a twenty all polite like or be AWOL at roll-call come Monday morning. And then spend the next week restricted to base, if not in the brig!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:17 | Link to Comment Brahms Third Racket
Brahms Third Racket's picture

Many potential retail equity participants have learned firsthand what can happen when you buy an artificially inflated asset; in this case their house.  Why would they turn around and put money into another?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:17 | Link to Comment Ecoman11
Ecoman11's picture

SEC drops investigation into Goldman mortgage deal http://www.housingwire.com/news/sec-drops-investigation-goldman-mortgage...

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:19 | Link to Comment Landrew
Landrew's picture

That's just part of a depression.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | Link to Comment working class dog
working class dog's picture

HFT and alog money grab

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | Link to Comment working class dog
working class dog's picture

HFT and alog money grab

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:21 | Link to Comment Satan
Satan's picture

Is " one born every minute " enough?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:25 | Link to Comment bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Pay me $49 and I will give you all the investment advice you need. BTFD.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:28 | Link to Comment Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

Just do the opposite of "robot trader" and save the $49.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:28 | Link to Comment Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Weekly volume looks abysmal.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:29 | Link to Comment Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

All one has to do is hang out here to learn all that's needed to know. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:29 | Link to Comment Elmer Fudd
Elmer Fudd's picture

"You didn't trade that, the government did, so give us the money."

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:33 | Link to Comment resurger
resurger's picture

"Press Buy"

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:41 | Link to Comment hannah
hannah's picture

retail cant make their mortgage payments or their auto lease payments or their student loan payments....they aint got no money or credit to buy into the market....this time will be diferent as the major players get to hold the stocks as the market collapses.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:13 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

not if they just let the 401k whale stocks dive.....remember, they are the constant dumb money without an Etrade account

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:00 | Link to Comment hannah
hannah's picture

the question is....what percentage of the market is owned by the pension funds...?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 17:41 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

100% of the stocks that will be allowed to drop..  just like 401ks

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:48 | Link to Comment Rockfish
Rockfish's picture

Groupon should include a Happy Meal toy with each purchase. That will get'em going. 

"And it was said that Moron begat Moron and it was good" 

Squidd Chronicles

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 19:03 | Link to Comment AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

A Dark Knight beachtowel would really bring in the action... enough to to make me go long Groupon.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:07 | Link to Comment kornholio
kornholio's picture

Bullish

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:14 | Link to Comment Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

Thanks Tyler, you made my day.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:35 | Link to Comment QEsucks
QEsucks's picture

I'm trying to unload a BRKA at 7$ limit above the last bid cancelling and replacing twice (routed thru Knight Capital) and it's just sitting there like a moribund turd.

Stick a fork in it. I'm done.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:35 | Link to Comment MarcusLCrassus
MarcusLCrassus's picture

The silver lining here is that TPTB who manipulate this market are slitting their own throats.  Even the muppets are starting to catch on. 

 

The other silver lining being silver. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Next item to be sold by Groupon are Greek islands!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:42 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Groupon is now offering a 97% off "four day online stock-trading course.That is effen hilarious! Do they give you a stack of Monopoly money, and a pair of "BLOW-UP" Bernanke and Geithner dolls to make it feel authentic?

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