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Retail Participation In The Stock Market Is So Horrendous That...

Tyler Durden's picture




 

... Groupon is now offering a 97% off "four day online stock-trading course." While not nearly as big as the discount we have all grown to expect from Whitney Tilson's Value Investing Congress, this offer demonstrates just how much interest the retail investing public has regarding stocks. And why any administration, whether the current or the future one, that believes it can delude the general public into ignoring the broad economy and focusing only on the Russell 2000 as proof of "how good it is" will have its work cut out.

h/t hopeless for change

 

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Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:03 | 2691680 The trend is yo...
The trend is your friend's picture

siting at starbucks drinking 6 dollar coffee, unemployed people will trade stocks on their igizmo trying to pay for lunch

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:06 | 2691697 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I read Graham's "The Intelligent Investor" to learn about markets.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | 2691706 Thomas
Thomas's picture

How's workin' for ya? I'll tell you, the only reason I don't leave the entire investing world is that I would then be long the dollar, and THAT would suck.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | 2691713 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | 2691743 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

retail is in bonds.....

 

boomers are afraid and running out of time till retirement.

 

can't afford to lose 10-20% of principal for 2-3% premium.

 

not enough risk premium for equities

 

better do another QE.

 

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:11 | 2692089 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sorry...I'm new to this...can you help me out with some of those technical terms?

"retirement" - wassat?

"risk premium"...whats one of those and where can I find one?

 

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:55 | 2691853 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Where is Robo anyhow? I'm beginning to worry that perhaps he was one of the billboard dummies.......

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:06 | 2691876 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

gotta love that BUY BUY BUY graphic

 

they make up the 97% by getting greater fools to buy their penny stocks...  how's that SYNC play doing NIA?????

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:25 | 2691919 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

"These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes."    Robo is the instructor.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | 2691714 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

And I hear there is a basement casino in Harlem with excellent security!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | 2691718 kito
kito's picture

you are long the dollar so long as you transact your day to day affairs with it, including investing.....................makes not a bit of difference...........

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 20:31 | 2692689 StychoKiller
Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | 2691749 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

they need to go NIRP and pay you to attend this crap! I can't fucking wait for the R2K to fucking tank!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | 2691725 financial apoca...
financial apocalyptic contagion's picture

you caaan do it!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:19 | 2691740 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

$49!!!!

Way too much.

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:58 | 2691857 CPL
CPL's picture

If they paid $49 I would sit and listen...I wouldn't buy though.  Treat it like those timeshare presentations that get your parking validated with a dinner and a show.  Killing time in florida.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:31 | 2691950 rlouis
rlouis's picture

If you order on an i-phone it's $57.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:39 | 2691810 FreedomGuy
FreedomGuy's picture

I am not a professional trader but I enjoyed mutual funds and some stocks from the 1980's on. I do not know how anyone trades anything in this market. The markets are fully government manipulated, both publicly and secretly. How can you make any decisions when the next headline or statement from some EU drone may wipe you out?

It is not so much based on anyone's P/E's anymore but what the Fed or the EU or what some Prime Minister says. Your smart trade in buying Acme, Inc. will get wiped out by the tsunami movement as everyone liquidates at robo-speed with the latest bad news from Greece. You sell just as Draghi promises to save the day and causes a huge two day rally.

So, the guys at Starbucks may not be all wrong. The market to me is worse than Vegas. At least in Vegas I know the exact odds of every bet at the craps table and I can control my risk. The tax forms are easier, too.

I suggest giving up trading and working on your Texas Hold 'em.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:08 | 2691880 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Amazon.....200 PE and Beyond!!!!!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:01 | 2692066 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

You get free drinks in Vegas too.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:04 | 2691682 Confundido
Confundido's picture

Does anyone know a country that on its way to high inflation would have not lost its capital markets? Exactly! In fact, the destruction of capital markets -above all, the destruction of the futures markets- is the proof, that the doors open to high inflation first and hyperinflation in the end. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:27 | 2691765 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Most muppets cannot understand massive market destroying volatilty is what it looks like when hyperinflation starts to take hold or that no one can do business in that environment.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | 2691684 Precious
Precious's picture

"Attention muppets."

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | 2691685 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It won't be long before Groupon is trading at a 97% discount to it's IPO price.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:22 | 2691747 Precious
Precious's picture

... and Pincus will be on Oprah ... (the show)

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 09:57 | 2693891 dannyboy
dannyboy's picture

Ba dum dum tss.

Well played Engali.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:05 | 2691689 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

97% off a course that will lose you 90% of everything you have.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:07 | 2691699 Thomas
Thomas's picture

Yup. What's not to like?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | 2691704 Precious
Precious's picture

No "have" necessary.  They take Visa.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:09 | 2691696 dead hobo
dead hobo's picture

$49???

How long would the payback be on that if you followed their advice? Do they teach any laptop or android algos? It sure would be nice to make money with my Xoom tablet.  I use comcast for my internet. Will that be fast enough?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:26 | 2691763 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

HFT app for iPhone?  Brilliant.  You better trademark that.  Seriously.

Fri, 08/10/2012 - 10:52 | 2694082 short-swap
short-swap's picture

Heard AT&T has 4G-HF coming soon. Alas, not for Verizon though.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:29 | 2691943 gregga777
gregga777's picture

Sure. Plenty fast for them to fleece you out of every last penny before your choco-mocha-latte has even started to cool one degree Celsius. Why, I bet they could empty your account before you could even blink. Is that fast enough for you?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | 2691698 Christoph830
Christoph830's picture

Does it really take four days to teach someone how to operate a slightly glorified slot machine?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:13 | 2691896 gregga777
gregga777's picture

Yes. There really are people that dense. That is why they take up politicking for a living. You can honestly not be lying if you are too stupid to realize that every line on the TelePrompTer is either a lie or a "damn" lie.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:07 | 2691700 jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

i used to like to do about a dozen trades per month..  not any more.  i'm out of the markets and out of paper assets.

i am boycotting the markets until they make HFT's pay per trade (like me) and i am not risking my money until i see some perp-walks..  

the markets have become a giant wealth extraction system and i refuse to be a victim of it.

 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:22 | 2691752 slewie the pi-rat
slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, jack!

when i get my ass kicked, i don't like to talk abt it either

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:24 | 2691921 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Slewie,

Why do i have a hunch that your Asian? Not being racist, just am I right or wrong.

http://omgface.com/a1

Nevermind, I don't think you'd tell us anyway.

Yours Truly,

Larry

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:31 | 2691783 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

"account has been closed" -

Great decision for me, all cash now.

Of course, I'm not talking millions, but there are fund fiduciaries claims they're better than everyone else, I don't see it. Then there are those who always throw:"You missed the best rally of all time!" Maybe so, but if I can't physically access it with my own hands, I just no longer trust "them" and/or my own government. At my level, I can't afford to be wiped out or have my assets stolen from me.

My solution? No risk.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:03 | 2691867 CPL
CPL's picture

Exactly, it is the protective reaction of those that save for a rainy day, a perfectly sensible one at that.

 

The trader's third position of no trade.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 18:37 | 2692406 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

as i watched the clowns the other day on comedy cent...i mean cnbc, that were jumping for joy that cash is dead and it is so easy to just keep it digital.....so we are almost to the point were cash wont exist...so the uniformed or  as their defined in websters ...{n} sheepish uptherectus...will not have anything under their mattress and will feel very secure in knowing their lifetime wealth is right in front of them on their digital screen....and i think tptb will be happy with the percentage of digital savers compared to the crazy out of the box metal savers....

and over the last 2 yrs. my wife and myself withdrew our self directed iras...took the exit fucking and now have a portfolio of dirt and metals...

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 18:18 | 2692379 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

jack, does the 3 day settlement apply to hft? or does the three day rule just apply to the individual fool?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 21:14 | 2692777 jackinrichmond
jackinrichmond's picture

i fail to understand why the humans pay to trade and the robots don't..  i think the same rules should apply to all traders.

the whole concept of spoofing trades and front running is repulsive to human traders.  its like a parasite in the system.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | 2691705 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Shit! For half that I can get an indepth course from a damn cheap prostitute on the process of getting F__KED!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:06 | 2691874 gregga777
gregga777's picture

And have a mighty fine time in the process, too! Especially if you double down and procure a fine pair of the, ah, "ladies" to double your practice session. Because, practice makes perfect!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:08 | 2691707 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

I think I'll save my money and buy shares of Groupon. I mean...uh...nm.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:09 | 2691708 govttrader
govttrader's picture

This is whats great about the bond market...most of the large trades are humans...not machines

http://govttrader.blogspot.com/

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 17:41 | 2692288 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

CME Interest Rate Products.

 

Globex vol - 3,234,258

Open Outcry vol - 16,320

 

Did you forget the /sarc?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:11 | 2691712 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Buy low, sell high. Always split aces. And a stop order is an invitation to get fucked by an algo.

There you go. Free.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:10 | 2691884 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

what about Insurance?  a good hedge?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:27 | 2692140 ExpendableOne
ExpendableOne's picture

You need to wrap a power point around that and sell it!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:12 | 2691719 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Another case where Central Planners have broken a system.  Don't you look forward to them running health care?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | 2691723 reader2010
reader2010's picture

People are always looking at ways to make "easy" money and equity market is hardly a place for realizing that dream thesedays. Why don't they come up with something like Nothin'-Down-Rental-Property-Income-Cash-Cow course? 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:14 | 2691726 gregga777
gregga777's picture

Why bother? I can save 100% of the original course's cost plus whatever few greenbacks remaining buried in my backyard by not trading at all! Ha! Trading? That's what small-town southern cops used to say you were doing them. Trading a $20 for your freedom or spend the weekend in jail for driving 26 mph in a posted 25 mph zone! I loved those days. At least the cops did not try spinning some fairy tale story. Give them a twenty all polite like or be AWOL at roll-call come Monday morning. And then spend the next week restricted to base, if not in the brig!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:17 | 2691733 Brahms Third Racket
Brahms Third Racket's picture

Many potential retail equity participants have learned firsthand what can happen when you buy an artificially inflated asset; in this case their house.  Why would they turn around and put money into another?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:17 | 2691737 Ecoman11
Ecoman11's picture

SEC drops investigation into Goldman mortgage deal http://www.housingwire.com/news/sec-drops-investigation-goldman-mortgage...

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:19 | 2691742 Landrew
Landrew's picture

That's just part of a depression.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | 2691744 working class dog
working class dog's picture

HFT and alog money grab

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:20 | 2691745 working class dog
working class dog's picture

HFT and alog money grab

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:21 | 2691750 Satan
Satan's picture

Is " one born every minute " enough?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:25 | 2691760 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Pay me $49 and I will give you all the investment advice you need. BTFD.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:28 | 2691768 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

Just do the opposite of "robot trader" and save the $49.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:28 | 2691769 Hype Alert
Hype Alert's picture

Weekly volume looks abysmal.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:29 | 2691772 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

All one has to do is hang out here to learn all that's needed to know. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:29 | 2691779 Elmer Fudd
Elmer Fudd's picture

"You didn't trade that, the government did, so give us the money."

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:33 | 2691790 resurger
resurger's picture

"Press Buy"

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:41 | 2691816 hannah
hannah's picture

retail cant make their mortgage payments or their auto lease payments or their student loan payments....they aint got no money or credit to buy into the market....this time will be diferent as the major players get to hold the stocks as the market collapses.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:13 | 2691893 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

not if they just let the 401k whale stocks dive.....remember, they are the constant dumb money without an Etrade account

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:00 | 2692065 hannah
hannah's picture

the question is....what percentage of the market is owned by the pension funds...?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 17:41 | 2692289 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

100% of the stocks that will be allowed to drop..  just like 401ks

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 14:48 | 2691835 Rockfish
Rockfish's picture

Groupon should include a Happy Meal toy with each purchase. That will get'em going. 

"And it was said that Moron begat Moron and it was good" 

Squidd Chronicles

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 19:03 | 2692461 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

A Dark Knight beachtowel would really bring in the action... enough to to make me go long Groupon.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:07 | 2691878 kornholio
kornholio's picture

Bullish

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:14 | 2691900 Hopeless for Change
Hopeless for Change's picture

Thanks Tyler, you made my day.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:35 | 2691960 QEsucks
QEsucks's picture

I'm trying to unload a BRKA at 7$ limit above the last bid cancelling and replacing twice (routed thru Knight Capital) and it's just sitting there like a moribund turd.

Stick a fork in it. I'm done.

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:35 | 2691965 MarcusLCrassus
MarcusLCrassus's picture

The silver lining here is that TPTB who manipulate this market are slitting their own throats.  Even the muppets are starting to catch on. 

 

The other silver lining being silver. 

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 15:38 | 2691976 Nussi34
Nussi34's picture

Next item to be sold by Groupon are Greek islands!

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 16:42 | 2692173 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Groupon is now offering a 97% off "four day online stock-trading course.That is effen hilarious! Do they give you a stack of Monopoly money, and a pair of "BLOW-UP" Bernanke and Geithner dolls to make it feel authentic?

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