Retail Participation In The Stock Market Is So Horrendous That...

Tyler Durden's picture

... Groupon is now offering a 97% off "four day online stock-trading course." While not nearly as big as the discount we have all grown to expect from Whitney Tilson's Value Investing Congress, this offer demonstrates just how much interest the retail investing public has regarding stocks. And why any administration, whether the current or the future one, that believes it can delude the general public into ignoring the broad economy and focusing only on the Russell 2000 as proof of "how good it is" will have its work cut out.

h/t hopeless for change

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The trend is your friend's picture

siting at starbucks drinking 6 dollar coffee, unemployed people will trade stocks on their igizmo trying to pay for lunch

Skateboarder's picture

I read Graham's "The Intelligent Investor" to learn about markets.

Thomas's picture

How's workin' for ya? I'll tell you, the only reason I don't leave the entire investing world is that I would then be long the dollar, and THAT would suck.

camaro68ss's picture

These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes.

AldousHuxley's picture

retail is in bonds.....


boomers are afraid and running out of time till retirement.


can't afford to lose 10-20% of principal for 2-3% premium.


not enough risk premium for equities


better do another QE.



MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sorry...I'm new to this...can you help me out with some of those technical terms?

"retirement" - wassat?

"risk premium"...whats one of those and where can I find one?



A Lunatic's picture

Where is Robo anyhow? I'm beginning to worry that perhaps he was one of the billboard dummies.......

dark pools of soros's picture

gotta love that BUY BUY BUY graphic


they make up the 97% by getting greater fools to buy their penny stocks...  how's that SYNC play doing NIA?????

Papasmurf's picture

"These must be the same classes RoboTrader takes."    Robo is the instructor.

Pladizow's picture

And I hear there is a basement casino in Harlem with excellent security!

kito's picture

you are long the dollar so long as you transact your day to day affairs with it, including investing.....................makes not a bit of difference...........

vast-dom's picture

they need to go NIRP and pay you to attend this crap! I can't fucking wait for the R2K to fucking tank!

CPL's picture

If they paid $49 I would sit and listen...I wouldn't buy though.  Treat it like those timeshare presentations that get your parking validated with a dinner and a show.  Killing time in florida.

rlouis's picture

If you order on an i-phone it's $57.

FreedomGuy's picture

I am not a professional trader but I enjoyed mutual funds and some stocks from the 1980's on. I do not know how anyone trades anything in this market. The markets are fully government manipulated, both publicly and secretly. How can you make any decisions when the next headline or statement from some EU drone may wipe you out?

It is not so much based on anyone's P/E's anymore but what the Fed or the EU or what some Prime Minister says. Your smart trade in buying Acme, Inc. will get wiped out by the tsunami movement as everyone liquidates at robo-speed with the latest bad news from Greece. You sell just as Draghi promises to save the day and causes a huge two day rally.

So, the guys at Starbucks may not be all wrong. The market to me is worse than Vegas. At least in Vegas I know the exact odds of every bet at the craps table and I can control my risk. The tax forms are easier, too.

I suggest giving up trading and working on your Texas Hold 'em.

dark pools of soros's picture

Amazon.....200 PE and Beyond!!!!!

Bobbyrib's picture

You get free drinks in Vegas too.

Confundido's picture

Does anyone know a country that on its way to high inflation would have not lost its capital markets? Exactly! In fact, the destruction of capital markets -above all, the destruction of the futures markets- is the proof, that the doors open to high inflation first and hyperinflation in the end. 

Quinvarius's picture

Most muppets cannot understand massive market destroying volatilty is what it looks like when hyperinflation starts to take hold or that no one can do business in that environment.

Precious's picture

"Attention muppets."

Dr. Engali's picture

It won't be long before Groupon is trading at a 97% discount to it's IPO price.

Precious's picture

... and Pincus will be on Oprah ... (the show)

dannyboy's picture

Ba dum dum tss.

Well played Engali.

mammoth mo's picture

97% off a course that will lose you 90% of everything you have.

Thomas's picture

Yup. What's not to like?

Precious's picture

No "have" necessary.  They take Visa.

dead hobo's picture


How long would the payback be on that if you followed their advice? Do they teach any laptop or android algos? It sure would be nice to make money with my Xoom tablet.  I use comcast for my internet. Will that be fast enough?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

HFT app for iPhone?  Brilliant.  You better trademark that.  Seriously.

short-swap's picture

Heard AT&T has 4G-HF coming soon. Alas, not for Verizon though.

gregga777's picture

Sure. Plenty fast for them to fleece you out of every last penny before your choco-mocha-latte has even started to cool one degree Celsius. Why, I bet they could empty your account before you could even blink. Is that fast enough for you?

Christoph830's picture

Does it really take four days to teach someone how to operate a slightly glorified slot machine?

gregga777's picture

Yes. There really are people that dense. That is why they take up politicking for a living. You can honestly not be lying if you are too stupid to realize that every line on the TelePrompTer is either a lie or a "damn" lie.

jackinrichmond's picture

i used to like to do about a dozen trades per month..  not any more.  i'm out of the markets and out of paper assets.

i am boycotting the markets until they make HFT's pay per trade (like me) and i am not risking my money until i see some perp-walks..  

the markets have become a giant wealth extraction system and i refuse to be a victim of it.


slewie the pi-rat's picture

hey, jack!

when i get my ass kicked, i don't like to talk abt it either

Larry Dallas's picture


Why do i have a hunch that your Asian? Not being racist, just am I right or wrong.

Nevermind, I don't think you'd tell us anyway.

Yours Truly,


Northeaster's picture

"account has been closed" -

Great decision for me, all cash now.

Of course, I'm not talking millions, but there are fund fiduciaries claims they're better than everyone else, I don't see it. Then there are those who always throw:"You missed the best rally of all time!" Maybe so, but if I can't physically access it with my own hands, I just no longer trust "them" and/or my own government. At my level, I can't afford to be wiped out or have my assets stolen from me.

My solution? No risk.

CPL's picture

Exactly, it is the protective reaction of those that save for a rainy day, a perfectly sensible one at that.


The trader's third position of no trade.

smlbizman's picture

as i watched the clowns the other day on comedy cent...i mean cnbc, that were jumping for joy that cash is dead and it is so easy to just keep it we are almost to the point were cash wont the uniformed or  as their defined in websters ...{n} sheepish uptherectus...will not have anything under their mattress and will feel very secure in knowing their lifetime wealth is right in front of them on their digital screen....and i think tptb will be happy with the percentage of digital savers compared to the crazy out of the box metal savers....

and over the last 2 yrs. my wife and myself withdrew our self directed iras...took the exit fucking and now have a portfolio of dirt and metals...

smlbizman's picture

jack, does the 3 day settlement apply to hft? or does the three day rule just apply to the individual fool?

jackinrichmond's picture

i fail to understand why the humans pay to trade and the robots don't..  i think the same rules should apply to all traders.

the whole concept of spoofing trades and front running is repulsive to human traders.  its like a parasite in the system.

LoneStarHog's picture

Shit! For half that I can get an indepth course from a damn cheap prostitute on the process of getting F__KED!

gregga777's picture

And have a mighty fine time in the process, too! Especially if you double down and procure a fine pair of the, ah, "ladies" to double your practice session. Because, practice makes perfect!

bnbdnb's picture

I think I'll save my money and buy shares of Groupon. I mean...uh...nm.

govttrader's picture

This is whats great about the bond market...most of the large trades are humans...not machines

Ness.'s picture

CME Interest Rate Products.


Globex vol - 3,234,258

Open Outcry vol - 16,320


Did you forget the /sarc?

Catullus's picture

Buy low, sell high. Always split aces. And a stop order is an invitation to get fucked by an algo.

There you go. Free.

dark pools of soros's picture

what about Insurance?  a good hedge?