This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.
Romney Clarifies Statement On Poor People
In the aftermath of yesterday's SNAFU in which the GOP presidential candidate made it clear just why "he is not concerned about poor people", Andy Borowitz has intercepted the follow up explanation of what Romney really wanted to say...
From the Borowitz Report
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today released the following letter to the American people:
Dear American People:
Yesterday, comments I made about poor people made me look terrible. This always seems to happen when I say what I really believe.
The fact is, I do care about poor people. That’s because I’m poor myself, when you compare me to Mark Zuckerberg.
According to most projections, Facebook’s IPO should net Mr. Zuckerberg a personal fortune of $28 billion. I couldn’t make a pile of dough-re-mi like that even if I fired people twenty-four hours a day.
Now, let’s take a look at Mitt Romney’s net worth: a measly $200 million. Now do you see why I consider myself poor? Compared to Mark Zuckerberg, Mitt Romney is practically a crack whore.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and envy a rich person like Mark Zuckerberg. That’s exactly what President Obama wants poor people like me to do. Mark Zuckerberg made his money fair and square, by creating useful products like imaginary sheep and angry birds. Say what you will about Facebook, it has totally revolutionized the way we waste our lives.
The fact is, if you’re poor in America, you should do what Mark Zuckerberg did: create a social network. I’ve just started my own, called TwoFaceBook. With TwoFaceBook, your profile doesn’t stay the same for more than two seconds.
In closing, there’s one more reason I don’t worry about poor people. They have Groupons.
Vote for me,
Mitt Romney
h/t Mike Krieger
»
- 14005 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
- advertisements -
You might want to alert O'Barry's speech writers as well.
Using biblical text to promote himself and the state into the role as disinterested charitable gift givers is fraught with peril.
And not only in this world ;-)
All that pandering and spinning confuses the mouth and you make mistakes.
Ron Paul doesn't have this problem - because he's honest and the story never changes.
Still a story.
What Mitt meant to say: "You can vote for the half white progressive or you can have the full white progressive. Policy won't change much, just who signs the checks.
"Poor" is a state of mind. And when I'm in a poor state of mind I am tempted by many things. But never have I been in such a poor state of mind that I've been tempted to vote for Mitt Romney.
I had to listen to Romney's weekly b.s. on local talk radio when he was Governor. Not a damn thing changed in Massachusetts during his terms as governor, except the state is now saddled with universal health care.
Is it "health CARE" or is it "health INSURANCE?"
I suppose that one measure would be to see check profit levels of the insurance companies.
I love it. Two years ago I gave up working after seeing what my buddies were getting from disability benefits. Free dental and prescriptions. No need to look for work. I looked at the 9-6 bullshit I was doing and paying taxes and said screw it. Now living nice off govt assistance, wake up at 9am, surf the web and give the middle finger to you middle class working stiffs. Under Obama I'm gonna get more thrown my way, so fk you Romney and thank you Alien-IQ...you da man.
I guess some people would rather sit in their own shit than work a shovel.
If it's a union paid shovel job then fine..that's an improvement over stay-at-home entitlements. If it's owning a small shovel business and working 60-70 hours a week and then getting taxed to hell if successful - forget it!
Who do you think had it better in modern day Greece? I think, in order of happiness:
1) politicians/govt workers
2) students/anarchists/unemployed
3) private sector working schmucks
Don't get me wrong there was a time when I thought working hard would have paid off, but those days are gone. Good luck if you're still trying.
Introducing the Mormontron 2012
First... there was Rahm-tard...
Now... there is Romn-tard...
Willard Romney... do yourself a favor and just STFU...
Thank you.
Anyone know who Walter Mitty is?
pocketa-pocketa-queep-pocketa-queep
"Corporations are poor people too, my friend" - Mitt Romney
Romney is not a candidate, he is distracting, HOT MILF ACTION, Americans will not vote for a Cult member who thinks a Newt brought seven golden Salamanders to the Pentagon, and Newt is an abortion of a candidate,Barry is fucked, therefore Ron Paul is the next President .
I have never been a part of the Moron religion so I am not sure if golden salamanders went to the Pentagon or if they just went skate boarding.
Must shred all records.....................Pleeeeeez, you tin haired commie fag.
Don't call him a "Vulture Capitalist". Vultures have feelings.
Fuck the Mormon from Mammon!
What happens to those whose only skill in life is gamming the system when the system finally collapses? Many here hail the fall of our corrupt system but who will suffer the most when the very system that provides everything for them no longer exists? The government has constructed a ayatem that niether educates or advances many of the people that they claim to want to help. I don't think anybody wants to be poor but some people are ok with just getting buy.
I could care less what Romney has said. Everybody knows that what is said during political campaigning is all hogwash anyway. Also how many of the "poor" are going to actually vote for Romney anyway. So other than being made a fool of for falling into a media trap he has nothing to loose in the statement in question.
What if you just make one of the objectives of "the system" to keep those people out of the way for the lowest possible social and fiscal costs?
At the moment the system is mostly about writing checks, which probably isn't actually the cheapest way to do ANYTHING.
Romney is a Republican in name only, which is actually representative of most so-called Republicans. It's the same party, whether it's called Democrat or Republican. It's the Let's bomb something, do nothing, grease-your-friends-so-they-can-grease-you-back Hanky Panky Paulson and Timmy party.
Thanks but I really don't care who wins, cuz I'm not voting for either one of them.
Where the hell is Ron Paul? Please
He got doubled by Sanitarium for fuck's sake! That is, 13% vs Paul's 7%!
Yes, the people WILL get what they deserve!
Sad, however, is that if you look at Sanitarium's campaign contributions you find that nearly all of it is from big donors. Anyone with half a fucking brain can see that this guy is propped up in order to suck votes away from Ron Paul. This is how the game is played. And this is all set up by the GOP: no different function on the other side of the coin either.
Nothing good comes from consolidated power (except from the sun).
mitt morony doesnt know shit about mark zukerburg
Wow, this is like a trip back in time to the reign of Roman Emperor Caligula. I feel like I'm sitting within the crowd at one of the spectacles at the Collosium, as I scan through the comments tonight with all the thumbs up and down on display, along with a certain semblance of similar mentality perhaps.
if you dont make $100,000,000.00 per year or more=you are in the "useless eaters club"=but you get a chance in line for the shelters underground
Refuse to cooperate.
John Trudell - I'm Crazy? - June 2010 - Detroit
http://youtu.be/ctUecTdPEO0
This issue goes way back before any of us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYqF_BtIwAU
Yeah, bad Romney, we want i-pods/i-pads, free heatlh care, and new sneakers for the po' folk....
Not to mention, college debt wiped out, no taxes, help with home down payment and/or just mortgage debt forgiveness.
Bread and Circuses folks. Don't worry, the symantics won't matter if Obummer gets elected again.
You seem to get it...Apple getting into the public school system at an even younger age will allow for the govt to get brand new ipads into the hands of the 'poor' under a social program. The (still) working class will have to work 1 month to pay for the one for their kid. I can see mandated ipads becoming like mandated vaccinations. Sad really.
It again begs the question 'why work' if Obama's coming in for a 2nd term?
"You can focus on the very poor, that's not my focus. My focus is on middle income Americans, retirees living on social security, people who can't find work."
"It's the middle class that we really need to squeeze."
All of this talk about poverty....Well, this is how I see it. It goes back to what Papa Bush said awhile back:"Wealth being consolidated into tighter, righter hands". Did you get that? Yes, they really do think that way. If they had their way, we would have to beg to them for our daily sustance. We are units of production for them. It was decided that a cornerstone of globalization was to "level the playing field". Since it was too difficult to bring up the third world to first world living standards, it was decided to bring down the living stanards of the first world nations. This is being achieved by a number of means, not the least of which has been the passage of so many "free trade" treaties. Washington gives tax credits for companies outsourcing it's workforce. No tariffs are imposed on the returning product. The country is slowly being hollowed out. Slowly in the same way you boil a frog. The only industry the US will have when all is said and done is the military industrial complex. Hell, Washington is even trying to deminish our agriculture sector, more and more of our food comes from South America and Asia. Where does it all stop? I have been asking myself this question for years now. I guess it ends when we are all in the queues for gubmint health care, food allotment, and housing coupons. Present yourself for the new WPA assignment {they will call it something else}. The "wealthy" will not be sparred, unless you have the right connections of course. You will be bled dry to pay for all of this. Many who believe they are "set" today, will find to their horror tomorrow they are really not. I'll hold you a spot in the queue.
No conscience. Watch out.
Candidate Comparison: Top Contributors2012 Cycle
These tables list the top donors to these candidates in the 2012 election cycle. The organizations themselves did not donate, rather the money came from the organizations' PACs, their individual members or employees or owners, and those individuals' immediate families. Organization totals include subsidiaries and affiliates.
Because of contribution limits, organizations that bundle together many individual contributions are often among the top donors to presidential candidates. These contributions can come from the organization's members or employees (and their families). The organization may support one candidate, or hedge its bets by supporting multiple candidates. Groups with national networks of donors - like EMILY's List and Club for Growth - make for particularly big bundlers.
Barack Obama Microsoft Corp $171,573 Comcast Corp $113,800 University of California $107,501 Harvard University $99,975 Google Inc $95,066 Mitt Romney Goldman Sachs $367,200 Credit Suisse Group $203,750 Morgan Stanley $199,800 HIG Capital $186,500 Barclays $157,750 Rick Perry Ryan LLC $186,800 Murray Energy $105,504 USAA $69,500 Contran Corp $50,000 Ernst & Young $47,800 Ron Paul US Army $24,503 US Air Force $23,335 US Navy $17,432 Mason Capital Management $14,000 Microsoft Corp $13,398 Michele Bachmann Captive-Aire Inc $10,000 College Loan Corp $10,000 Empire Office Inc $10,000 Hubbard Broadcasting $10,000 Slumberland Inc $10,000 Herman Cain Barron Collier $8,000 Wells Fargo $7,800 Houston Texans $7,400 Cinco Natural Gas $5,200 Cold Spring Granite $5,000 Creative Dimensions $5,000 Fox, Paine & Co $5,000 Infinity Oil & Gas $5,000 JM Smucker Co $5,000 Arb Corp $5,000 Ggam LLC $5,000 Greenhill & Co $5,000 Hilton Hotels $5,000 Ames Research Laboratories $5,000 Whitaker Oil $5,000 Wynn Resorts $5,000 Jones Petroleum $5,000 Neuroimaging Centers $5,000 SWBC Insurance Services $5,000 Tankcraft Corp Walworth $5,000 Third Security $5,000 Tim Pawlenty Moelis & Co $49,500 Wells Fargo $42,750 Capital Group Companies $37,500 Morgan Stanley $31,715 Federated Insurance $25,500 Jon Huntsman Fertitta Entertainment $29,500 Station Casinos $29,000 Ultimate Fighting Championship $29,000 Crow Holdings $25,000 Fresenius Medical Care $17,400 Newt Gingrich Rock-Tenn Co $27,500 Poet LLC $20,000 Pull-A-Part Inc $15,000 First Fiscal Fund $15,000 State Mutual Insurance $10,000 Streck Inc $10,000 American Fruits & Flavors $10,000 Amway/Alticor Inc $10,000 Rick Santorum Blue Cross/Blue Shield $18,000 Universal Health Services $17,250 Kimber Manufacturing $12,300 Achristavest $10,000 El Dorado Holdings $10,000 Thaddeus G. McCotter McCotter Congressional Cmte $450,000 ActRight $49,902 Merrill Lynch $6,000 Second Wind Enterprises $1,500 Henry Ford Health System $1,000 Liberty Mutual Insurance $1,000 Gary Johnson Tower Energy Group $10,000 Welcom Products $5,000 Ryan LLC $5,000 Corriente Advisors $5,000 DUNN Capital Management $2,500 EOG Resources $2,500 Zyvex Corp $2,500 Rogue Engineering $2,500 St Jude Medical Center $2,500 Whole Foods Market $2,500 Google Inc $2,500 Jalapeno Corp $2,500 Maple Engine $2,500 McDaniel Technical Assoc $2,500 Morning Star Co $2,500 Netburner $2,500 Abruzzo Development $2,500 Aleth Objects $2,500 Columbia College/Chicago $2,500 Fred Karger RMI Investment $2,500 Dahn Corp $2,400 Murchison & Cumming $2,400 ABC Advocacy Group $1,250 Bell, McAndrews & Hiltachk $1,000 Corcoran Group $1,000 Cunningham Development $1,000 One Medical Group $1,000 Lewis & Co $1,000 Southern California Permanente Med Group $1,000 Buddy Roemer Farm Bureau Insurance $200 Randall Terry Social Security Administration $2,500 Miller & Sons $1,400 Cengage Learning $1,000 City of Rochester, NY $500 Birdwell Construction $500 Bloomberg LP $500 Treilbacher $500Why (and How) We Use Donors' Employer/Occupation Information
METHODOLOGY
NOTE: All the numbers on this page are for the 2012 election cycle and based on Federal Election Commission data released electronically on Monday, December 05, 2011.
("Help! The numbers don't add up...")
Feel free to distribute or cite this material, but please credit the Center for Responsive Politics. For permission to reprint for commercial uses, such as textbooks, contact the Center.
HELP! WHY DON'T THE NUMBERS ADD UP?Sometimes it's hard to make apple-to-apple comparisons across some of the pages in a candidate's profile. Here's why:
Summary numbers - specifically "Total Raised and Spent" and "PAC/Individual Split" - are based on summary reports filed by the candidates with the Federal Election Commission. All other numbers in these profiles ("Quality of Disclosure," "Geography" and "Special Interests") are derived from detailed FEC reports that itemize all contributions of $200 or more.
There is also a time lag in posting the information. While summary numbers are reported almost immediately by the FEC -- and listed quickly on OpenSecrets -- processing and analyzing the detailed records takes much longer. For that reason, summary numbers are usually higher (and more current) than the numbers based on detailed records.
HOW CURRENT ARE THESE FIGURES?The figures in these profiles are taken from databases uploaded by the FEC to the internet on the first day of every week. Those databases are only as current as the FEC has been able to compile by that date (see the note above about lag times for data entry).
The Center updates figures for "Total Raised and Spent" and for "PAC/Individual Split" daily when new reports are due until all reports have been filed. The remaining figures - based on detailed contribution data - is updated by the Center every 3 or 4 weeks. This gives us time to analyze the contributions and categorize them by industry and interest group.
Close this window
2012 Presidential Candidate Fundraising Summaryhttp://www.opensecrets.org/pres12/
The first 2012 presidential primaries and caucuses may still be months away, but potential contenders are already crisscrossing the country in bids to boost their political profiles and raise money. Presidential candidates are required to file campaign finance reports with the Federal Election Commission each quarter this year, and each month beginning in 2012. Here OpenSecrets.org highlights how the candidates are stacking up in the money chase, as they build massive political war chests to get their messages out to voters.
View more here about these candidates -- and those who dropped out.
Candidate Total Raised Q3 Raised Spent Debts Cash on Hand % FromSmall Indivs End Date ObamaBarack Obama (D) $86,215,580 $40,827,453 $27,115,268 $1,709,300 $61,403,711 48% Sep 30, 2011 TerryRandall A. Terry (D) $44,716 $2,082 $38,691 $3,500 $6,025 21% Sep 30, 2011 JohnsonGary Johnson (L) $416,431 $236,194 $405,548 $240,067 $10,882 26% Sep 30, 2011 RomneyMitt Romney (R) $32,212,389 $13,928,166 $17,559,845 $0 $14,656,966 10% Sep 30, 2011 PerryRick Perry (R) $17,168,589 $17,168,589 $2,090,174 $339,120 $15,078,415 4% Sep 30, 2011 PaulRon Paul (R) $12,623,422 $8,109,256 $8,948,654 $0 $3,674,768 48% Sep 30, 2011 BachmannMichele Bachmann (R) $7,546,040 $3,906,317 $6,206,856 $549,604 $1,339,184 52% Sep 30, 2011 CainHerman Cain (R) $5,340,967 $2,779,802 $4,007,188 $675,000 $1,333,779 50% Sep 30, 2011 PawlentyTim Pawlenty (R) $4,700,636 $226,963 $4,680,463 $453,842 $20,173 12% Sep 30, 2011 HuntsmanJon Huntsman (R) $4,490,614 $4,490,614 $4,162,999 $3,145,594 $327,615 4% Sep 30, 2011 GingrichNewt Gingrich (R) $2,897,954 $803,087 $2,544,537 $1,192,866 $353,417 43% Sep 30, 2011 SantorumRick Santorum (R) $1,286,975 $701,699 $1,097,418 $71,866 $189,557 21% Sep 30, 2011 McCotterThad McCotter (R) $511,428 $511,428 $509,919 $105,367 $1,509 7% Sep 30, 2011 KargerFred Karger (R) $356,196 $89,685 $343,615 $0 $12,582 6% Sep 30, 2011 RoemerBuddy Roemer (R) $231,532 $135,897 $185,421 $20,000 $46,111 82% Sep 30, 2011
Feel free to distribute or cite this material, but please credit the Center for Responsive Politics. For permission to reprint for commercial uses, such as textbooks, contact the Center.