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Santorum Said To Quit Presidential Race

Tyler Durden's picture




 

According to various media reports, still officially unconfirmed, Rick Santorum will end his presidential campaign. Such as this one from CNN: "Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum will announce he will suspend his campaign on Tuesday at an event in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, a senior adviser to the campaign tells CNN." The live webcast to the Santorum address can be watched below after the jump.

 

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Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:41 | 2332085 penexpers
penexpers's picture

Romney is a Nexus 6 replicant from Blade Runner that doesn't know it's a replicant.

Extremely dangerous.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:48 | 2332123 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

He's got the right hairstyle, but I'm afraid that's completely impossible--Nexus 6's are highly intelligent.

He could be a Nexus Release Candidate 0.9 or something.  Maybe.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:39 | 2332712 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

He's the Windows model. A buggy, backdoored, infected bot.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:42 | 2332088 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

RICK'S TRICKS

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:45 | 2332106 tellsometruth
tellsometruth's picture

thanks for the laugh banzai7

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:40 | 2332405 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

I puked a little. Thanks

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:29 | 2332665 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Honey, honey, heeey, baby don't ya wanna man like me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QYdUZde56A

 

EDIT: Wait - are those Prada?

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 19:49 | 2333170 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Perfect.  And thank god after tonight we never have to have our TV screens infected by his loathsome presence again.  Except maybe when his kid comes out of the closet and he gets to explain why the young man is defective.  Too bad he had to spend so much air time today saying he was quitting, he should just dry up and go away.  But then a messy combination of lube and fecal material would not know how to behave in decent society.  And the best part WB7; this is not just a loss for the lube-ster but for the entire right wing of the nation.  There is no denial now that will work, they are fringe barking moonbats who have politically isolated themselves and now have a sackful of dust, all that is left to them is to sit muttering in the corner like some perverted old Gollum grieving the loss of their Precious.  The one bad thing is that while the Lubinator never had a shot against Obama Romney just might.  Still, I would rather have Romney win than have to put up with 6 months of that closet case bed wetting prick on my TV. 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:45 | 2332101 Malpheseus
Malpheseus's picture

Code Red! Code Red! The Frothiness is down! I repeat, the Frothiness is down! The Lizardman is occupied with another homewrecker and the Ken doll is incapable of pretending to be human. They can't hold off Paul without a massive barrage of war propaganda!

The Empire needs backup in sector 9! Loose the MSM to fake another foreign threat or a domestic lone wolf!

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:15 | 2332253 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

They won't have to hold him off, they'll just announce that the race is over, and start talking about Mitten's VP selection. I bet there won't be any more debates, either. Now they will focus squarely on Obummer, with the only mention of Dr. Paul will be the that of typical "kooky spoiler" type that "is detrimental to democracy."

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:56 | 2332111 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Newt and Ron and Rick have the most charming families.....Romney's family is very respectful but a little less photogenic and picturesque !  Rick made me nervous when he started talking porn....but he is a definite rising star in the Conservative firmament ! Romney will be OK.....especially if he picks Sandoval, Ron Paul's son or even Santorum, Newt or Ron Paul as his VP ! Who am I kidding....Bitme showed us once and for all VPs are irrelevant except for a LBJ ass.assin asshole ! Romney will have to "government" to the right of himself....and I think we can hold his feet to the fire !  Seriously, it's doubtful if anyone can save us from the collapse !    Monedas   2012    Porn Based Libertarian   PS:  If you've eaten twat noir and admit to having enjoyed it....you are by definition not a raciss !

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:58 | 2332171 Kobe Beef
Kobe Beef's picture

Dude, Dick Cheney is going to shoot you in the face for that crack against Veeps.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:10 | 2332219 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Hey, I defended Dick the other day here on our Ex Pat blog site !  When he had that transplant, some liberal beach bitch complained that there were others more worthy of a new heart !  I said :  "This a personal moment of hope for a man who has served his country !  Why do some people feel they have to get up on a soap box at this precise moment and take a crap in public ?" !  Monedas   2012   A comedian to be reckoned with !

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:36 | 2332380 11b40
11b40's picture

If you thinks Dick Cheney "served" his country, you really are a comedian.

There are few who have done so much over such a long time line, to ruin this country than that self-serving chicken-hawk creep.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:25 | 2332667 Monedas
Monedas's picture

You liberals don't let up ?  A man and his family are bravely confronting his heart problems ! How many would have given up after a heart attack at thirty six ?  This man deserves our admiration for his zest for life and his determination.....politics aside !  His "Gravitas" was a bonus !  Monedas  2012   I'm not a Bill Mahr or a Lewis Black......I'm a nice person !

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 16:16 | 2335773 11b40
11b40's picture

You don't have to be "liberal" to understand what a huge part he played in fucking up this once great country.  Educate yourself.

This man was the driving force behind our "privatized" mercenary army, and he personally proffited to the tune of 10's, if not 100's, of millions of dollars from it.  It has been his vision of an Imperial America, along with an Imperial President, guiding us along the hubristic path to national destruction with un-funded "optional" war for oil and private profit, along with the erosion of pur personal liberties to the likes of "Homeland Security".

Operating behind the scenes & prowling the corridors of the Defense Department since the early 70's in the Nixon-Ford administrations, he has been intent on imposing a kind of aristocracy on America.  His "gravitas" is non-existent for those who have been watching this sleezy war criminal for the past 40 years.  He should be re-cuperating in a prison ward.

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:42 | 2332731 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

He said firmament. Eeehhh, heh heh.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:46 | 2332112 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Nothing more worst than a Zionist is a Christian Zionist. Fucking nutcake. Good writtence.  

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:47 | 2332113 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Now if only everyone would quit.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:48 | 2332125 TMT
TMT's picture

Part of me thinks this race is far from over.  With the debt ceiling fight looming this summer, unemployment in the shitter, and race riots coming soon (thrown in a failed bond auction) and things MAY set up nicely for RP.  Far fetched, but not improbable.

Absent a RP victory, I'm starting to think of letting Hussein have another four years.  I can't stand the guy, but I would much prefer to have him behind the wheel when the US goes over the cliff.  That would surely kill statism.

Who knows ... it's all a big fucking rigged game.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:57 | 2332163 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

What a Clown Show this is.

What are the odds on this POS being Mitts running mate? And Jamie Dimon as the new Sect of the UST?

Bend over America. You are getting driven to Cleveland.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 14:59 | 2332177 10044
10044's picture

Who gives a shit, gold is up 18 bucks!

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:00 | 2332179 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

OH HELLS NO!

Who's going to purify America's social and sexual preferences through the religious sifter provided by their heavily distrorted sense of reality?

 

THE END IS NIGH I TELLS YA. 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:01 | 2332192 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Just when i think things are hopeless, i read these comments and KNOW it truely is. Nothing at all wrong with the free exchange of ideas but much of this is just trash. Can't you just go kill your neighbor's dog or something?

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:16 | 2332250 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I'll tell you what filth and trash are. Obama, Romney and Rick Santorum. All rotten evil Bankster loving fuckers.

So what are YOU doing to change this situation besides complaining to us?

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:04 | 2332201 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Takes the "future of amerika" vs "future of porn" debate away

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:07 | 2332215 Zola
Zola's picture

TEXAS here comes Victory ! Go RP

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:07 | 2332216 LongOfTooth
LongOfTooth's picture

"They" have managed to squeeze Ron Paul out so now it's time for Newt and Rick to stand back.

The new world order continues it's march towards total take over of the U.S.

 

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:10 | 2332231 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

Another step closer to the 2012 nomination promised Flip Romney in 2008 in exchange for dropping out of the lead and endorsing the crusty psycho in last place, so the oligarchy could have their ultimate manchurian puppet. Worked out good for them, because regardless of who wins between Flip and Barry, Da Bankstahs win again.

I'll be feeding my optical-scan ballot into the machine with the Ron Paul oval filled in. Cuz my vote counts and all.

Sigh.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:09 | 2332570 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Not me.  I'm voting for Putin.  Let's stop the foreplay and go all-in dictatorship without the pretense. 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:16 | 2332257 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Oh boy that Mitt Romney looks soooo presidential!!!  But Obama is such an orator, and black too!!!   Who to chose?  How exciting it all will be!   From sea to shining sea. 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:30 | 2332349 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I remember that trim little black hooker at Jack Rabbit Junction, Nevada !  She was sweet and even offered me a free BJ after my modest but tender performance !  I would have taken her up on it....but I left my buddy out in the pick up and I was spent !  Monedas  2012  Comedy Jihad On The Road Again

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:39 | 2332400 UTICA CLUB XX PURE
UTICA CLUB XX PURE's picture

I heard he used his I-Phoney to call Mitt / GO RP!!!

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 15:42 | 2332412 xela2200
xela2200's picture

Who is this guy again?

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:37 | 2332713 tsuki
tsuki's picture

He's the good Christian guy who stole 50K from the Penn Hills Educational District to homeschool his brood in Virginia.  

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:00 | 2332504 Waffen
Waffen's picture

Mission accomplished:

All the religious zealots and anyone but Romney morons (hello Ron Paul?)
spent their vote on someone who was never going to win anyway but now ensure that the person they didn't want will win the nomination. Nicely done retards.

When Ron Paul was pulling out a victory in Iowa days before th election the anal goo play was made and this joke candidate was put into play.

The guy woul have been 1 and done if not for media trumping him up to torpedo Ron Paul Iowa.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:00 | 2332508 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

Blah blah blah.  Can this ship sink already?  Let's go Yugoslavia-style and have some fun finally.  I want to go massacre some college know-it-all hippies spouting frothy fecal juice jokes demanding a European-style social safety net but not willing to accept European-level taxation (I.e. everyone pays upwards of 40-50%, not just "the rich").  And then go burn down a church full of evangelicals who voted for this guy and dream of enacting their own theocracy.

Or, just give me free X-Box games, beer, and accomodations in an Asian massage parlor.  Come-on, it's cheaper than paying for law enforcement and the prison industry!

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:02 | 2332522 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

No surprise. Things are moving according to the plan. At the End Mitt will loose because he is a Mormon and we will have 4 more years of monkey business.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:04 | 2332532 DionysusDevotee
DionysusDevotee's picture

Fuck that guy.

Thank the Gods the "Ameriban" religious right remains a shrieking minority. 

Since Paul will catch a hot one before hes president, who wins now officially doesn't matter.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:06 | 2332547 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

This is horrible!  

 

Now who will read from the bible and tell us all the stories about gays and abortions and how big (bigger) government can fix it all? 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:15 | 2332612 GCT
GCT's picture

ROMNEY/SANTORIUM TICKET is a sure fire win!!  LOL

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:18 | 2332637 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

Sanatorum served his purpose well. Stop Ron from winning Iowa at all costs. It just took a back door deal with the evangelical block (cuz Rick is so fookin' holy you know) and counting votes in a private, non-disclosed location. I'm sure he will be offered a job on Faux News as payment.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 16:34 | 2332703 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Did any of you see Lewis Black and Piers Morgan on CNN ?   I'm sorry you had to see that !  I'd rather watch monkeys fuck !  Monedas  2012   Comedy Jihad Good Taste Crusade

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 17:09 | 2332833 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I like Zimmerman's attorneys....may they kick butt !  It's refreshing to hear clear, logical minds vigorously defending their client.....especially after hearing that pukey, arm flailing uglo-Jew Lewis Black froth a bunch of specious feces !  Monedas  2012   Comedy Jihad Reich Kike Expose

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 17:54 | 2332947 Fedwatcher
Fedwatcher's picture

In the words of the Simpsons' Otto the busdriver:

 

We tried, we tried, oh how we did try.

Sayonara, Rick - see you in the funny papers.

 

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 18:47 | 2333045 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"Kiss the Ring" you pedophile-funding phony!

 

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 21:17 | 2333321 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

weak and stupid. thank the GODS he's gone.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 21:17 | 2333322 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

weak and stupid. thank the GODS he's gone.

Tue, 04/10/2012 - 23:33 | 2333562 jomama
jomama's picture

this guy is a testament what a waste of flesh many americans have become.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 02:18 | 2333771 flyingpigg
flyingpigg's picture

Good to see Santorum euthanized his presidential campaign.

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 03:33 | 2333819 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

He split the party not just fucking up his own attempt to win.  The silver lining is that the Obama second term could not possibly be more inept and filled with shit than the first.  Look back to the Clinton win in 1992, no president was as hated, yet by the end of his term in office the nation was in as good a shape as it had ever been.  Granted they laid the seeds for the new depression with repeal of GS but the nation peaked in every metric under Clinton. 

I will take ten to one odds on Romney going down to one of the worst defeats in presidential history and in that I include the horror of McGovern and Mondale.  And Santorum will be responsible for much of that.  Icky bit of fecal material coated in silicone based lube. 

Wed, 04/11/2012 - 03:21 | 2333814 boiltherich
boiltherich's picture

Obama = BAD  so

ANYBODY ELSE = Good?

No matter what hunks of shit they are? 

Time to get ready for the end.  Obama makes me nostalgic for BushII and I hated that motherfuckers guts, but as bad and illegal as he is as our president he is light years ahead of any GOP candidate including Ron Paul.  And I say that because had RP run outside of the GOP I would have supported him, but the fact that he ran inside the GOP means he wants to wreck my rights as a citizen, so he gets the bird from me.  And to be quite honest he deserves it, he is not a leader.  He has good ideas, but so does my crazy neighbor.  He cannot lead America when he is not willing to treat all citizens as the same in equality, and the same goes for all other candidates, black citizens, gay citizens, latino citizens, poor citizens, union citizens, rich fucks raping the nation citizens, single mother raising kids citizens while the DA looks the other way on deadbeat dad citizens, white redneck dumbassed citizens, doormat female citizens, idiot young people who think tats are cool citizens, and cats with kitty aids citizens.

Rick Santorum is the human equivalent of pink slime.  If he were elected or even the nominee I would turn my back on the country and never look back.  I am never going to live in an America where the Nazis won.

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